||Home||Switchboard||Unix Administration||Red Hat||TCP/IP Networks||Neoliberalism||Toxic Managers|
|(slightly skeptical) Educational society promoting "Back to basics" movement against IT overcomplexity and bastardization of classic Unix|
From: email@example.com Newsgroups: aus.jokes Subject: The Holy DNS Commandments Date: 22 Aug 1995 06:13:04 GMT
And behold, there were great thunder and lightnings, and the mighty prophet Gehofrey came down from the temple of Munnari and told Children of AU that the Lord God Kre had vouchedsafe unto them these Holy Commandments, graven upon stone tablets:-
- Thou SHALT NOT send DNS information to the Lord God Kre's personal mailbox, lest the Wrath of the Lord Kre be kindled and wax hot against thee.
- Thou shalt format thy request in a mysterious format known unto none save the holiest priesthood of the order of DNS, that thy days may be long in the domain that the Lord Kre hath given thee.
- If thy requests be incorrectly seconded or ill formatted, thou shalt NOT be added to the root AU domain but shalt be forever cast out of the named boot into the outer darkness where there is great weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
- Thine entries must be DNS walkable, or naught shall be delegated.
- Thou shalt wait in vain for a reply. Ever.
- If the Lord deigneth to reply at all, it is because thou art incredibly stupid, dullwitted, blind and slow of understanding, and comprehendeth not such simple DNS concepts; therefore shall He quote thee large inscriptions of the Holy DNS Bible, so that thy mailbox runneth over.
- If not large inscriptions of the Holy DNS Bible, then large inscriptions of the sacred RFC tomes.
- Thou shalt not complain about the Lord's ineffable doings or Commandments in news; "My Ways are not your ways, neither are My Thoughts your thoughts" saith the Lord Kre, and He shall pour out the vials of His scorn upon thine head from on High in the sight of all the multitudes.
Subject: DOMAIN NAME CRISIS ;) Date: Wed, 01 Mar 2000 13:27:13 -0800 From: George Tereshko
Organization: Genesys To: firstname.lastname@example.org
ONE HECK OF A GOOD IDEA: SEVEN NEW DOMAINS TO FIX THE DOMAIN NAME CRISIS
THANKS TO SISTER MARGARET -- the principal of Saint Mary's Catholic grammar school where I was interned ... er, I mean educated -- I've worked out a solution to our current domain name conundrum.
There's one heck of a domain naming crisis brewing, because all the good domains ending in .com or .net are already taken. When the best minds of the Internet generation are coming up with "Quokka.com," you know there's a problem. But I've seen the light: The time has come for new TLDs (top-level domains). And, thanks to Sister Margaret's tireless devotion -- and her wooden ruler -- I have a notion or two about how to revise the domain naming system.
I still find it awe-inspiring that anyone, anywhere on the globe, can instantly access vital information on how snuggly-wuggly your cat, Mr. Whiskers, is. The dot-vnty TLD is for all Web shrines devoted to feline companions and similar weighty matters. For everyone who's determined to share with the entire world -- in badly edited prose and lots of full-color pictures -- their love of cats, cars, and significant others, we have the dot-vnty TLD.
The dot-gltn TLD celebrates rampant consumerism in all its excessive forms. Isn't the Web about more than just communication? Such as the ability to buy -- anytime, day or night -- a genuine silver inlaid Franklin Mint "Wizard of Oz" chess set. The dot-gltn domain lets the platinum card holders of the world unite in kinship, as they spend $80 on shirts made in a Malaysian factory for 95 cents.
How does an investor separate the as-good-as-roadkill Internet companies from the those that are an IPO away from billions of dollars? With the dot-grd TLD, of course. Aspiring Internet companies need look no further -- a dot-grd TLD assures you of a billion-dollar valuation. Niceties such as a business plan or even a way to actually make money can come later. What corporation wouldn't feel proud to be dot-grd? Dot-grd is good. Dot-grd works.
Have ruthless cybersquatters registered your company's name? Why should your company be penalized just because no one in your globe-spanning multinational corporation could be bothered to spend 70 bucks and ten minutes registering "lumbering-corp.com"? Those cybersquatters will be left with, well, squat, when you dot-slth yourself.
The Internet is the most potent communication medium yet devised by humankind, holding forth the tantalizing possibility of true communication and understanding among all people. But that's not what the dot-wrth TLD is about. The dot-wrth TLD is for those sites devoted to the fine and subtle art of interpersonal critical dialogue, more commonly known as "flaming someone hairless." Get in line now, because Linux.wrth and Microsoft.wrth should be snapped up in about, oh, six nanoseconds.
Just because you didn't think of it first or happen to be the trademark owner for some particular word, should you be left out of the Internet revolution? The dot-envy TLD is for every bold dreamer who has ever thought, "Hey, I might be able to make a business out of people misspelling 'Yahoo'."
Because Sister Margaret could be reading this, I'll simply say that Naughty Nanette and her bouncy friends will be right at home with this domain. Not that I'd know anything about it, Sister. Honest.
I think after considering my suggestions, you'll see the elegance of my naming system. And if you don't -- well, Sister Margaret still has her ruler.
Sean M. Dugan expects to catch heck for this one. Send mail to email@example.com
Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers : Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy
War and Peace : Skeptical Finance : John Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand : Oscar Wilde : Otto Von Bismarck : Keynes : George Carlin : Skeptics : Propaganda : SE quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes : Random IT-related quotes : Somerset Maugham : Marcus Aurelius : Kurt Vonnegut : Eric Hoffer : Winston Churchill : Napoleon Bonaparte : Ambrose Bierce : Bernard Shaw : Mark Twain Quotes
Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law
Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds : Larry Wall : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOS : Programming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC development : Scripting Languages : Perl history : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history
The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-Month : How to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Haterís Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite
Most popular humor pages:
Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor
The Last but not Least Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand ~Archibald Putt. Ph.D
Copyright © 1996-2021 by Softpanorama Society. www.softpanorama.org was initially created as a service to the (now defunct) UN Sustainable Development Networking Programme (SDNP) without any remuneration. This document is an industrial compilation designed and created exclusively for educational use and is distributed under the Softpanorama Content License. Original materials copyright belong to respective owners. Quotes are made for educational purposes only in compliance with the fair use doctrine.
FAIR USE NOTICE This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to advance understanding of computer science, IT technology, economic, scientific, and social issues. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided by section 107 of the US Copyright Law according to which such material can be distributed without profit exclusively for research and educational purposes.
This is a Spartan WHYFF (We Help You For Free) site written by people for whom English is not a native language. Grammar and spelling errors should be expected. The site contain some broken links as it develops like a living tree...
|You can use PayPal to to buy a cup of coffee for authors of this site|
Created June 1, 2005; Last modified: March 12, 2019