[Oct 30, 2018] Manifest of the Systemd resistance movement within Red Hat

Greetings comrades, I'm Andy - Leader of the systemd resistance movement within Red Hat.

Halloween is upon us, and with systemd as the principal part, the flag of RHEL 7 any excuse to goof off is a good one. That's why from now until November 1st, 2019 RHEL7 will be spotting random shutdowns and crashes. Maybe such prolong Halloween celebration just isn't your kind of thing. We're sorry, but you'll have to deal with our nonsense for a little while (although you really should be used to it by now).

Halloween is a time of giving. And here I mean security exploits. There will be plenty of them in 2019. We promise.  Those who need them, especially our friends in NSA,  will be happy, those who do not need them should be happy too. A time when you can dress up like a zombie and complete strangers will give you candy; it's the one time out of the year you won't be discriminated against, even if you are a real zombie. You got it. Halloween is a joyous occasion for new security exploits. Enjoy.

As many of you know, systemd is a part of this huge, monstrous thing called Red Hat Enterprise Linux. In an effort to continue the spirit of giving, which is the hallmark of open source community we plan to increase the number of lines of codes (or LOC) in systemd ten times before the next Halloween. We will also incorporate several daemons and figure out a way to screw several well-known to increase your level of happiness with RHEL7. Unfortunately, our effort so far has come up short of the complete replacement of the Linux kernel, so you need to wait.  (the "S" in systemd for Super-relative  - ooh this is so futuristic!).