|
Softpanorama
(slightly skeptical)
Open Source Software Educational Society |
May the
source be with you,
but remember the KISS principle ;-)
|
Communication with Micromanagers
Note 1: Paranoid incompetent micromanagers
(PIMM), who successfully combine tight control of minute details/procedures used
in performing assignments with compete incompetence are often called "control
freaks" (CF). This category of micromanagers represents really nasty beasts of
IT jungles who tend to completely paralyze their victims.
They are dangerous corporate psychopaths completely different from PHB on Dilbert cartoons.
In this set of pages that include
we will mainly address this menace.
Note 2: Good advice about the topic is difficult
to come by and depends on your concrete situation: take any recommendations with a grain of salt.
Note 3: Most people dramatically overestimate their communication
abilities. As a raw estimate consider them approximately equal to your abilities
to play chess.
Note 4: Communication with corporate
psychopath cannot be spontaneous. It should be very formal and you should
never avoid the possibility to ask the question or statement to be repeated to
gain some time.
Note 5: PIMM often use term "improper
communication" or "bad teamwork" for
pigeonholing. Be
prepared to those false accusation and calmly point out on the attempt to
pigeonholing:
Pigeonholing is a term used to describe processes
that attempt to classify disparate entities into a small
number of categories (usually, mutually exclusive ones).
The expression usually carries connotations of criticism,
implying that the classification scheme referred to does not
adequately reflect the entities being sorted, or that it is
based on
stereotypes.
Common failings of pigeonholing schemes include:
- Categories are poorly defined (often because they
are
subjective).
- Entities may be suited to more than one category.
Example:
rhubarb is both 'poisonous' and 'edible'.
- Entities may not fit into any available category.
Example: asking somebody from
Washington, DC which state they live in.
- Entities may change over time, so they no longer fit
the category in which they have been placed. Example:
certain species of
fish may change from male to female during their
life.
- Attempting to discretize properties that would be
better viewed as a
continuum. Example: attempting to sort people into
'introverted' and 'extroverted'.
- ....
Introduction
The first rule of communicating with micromanager is to feed
the beast regularly but never provide any information that is not strictly connected
to your projects/assignments. Any information that you communicate can later
be used against you. Remember that acute micromanagers are a special type of corporate
psychopath and that the driving source of such micromanagers is their own insecurity
as well as anxiety about failure. Keep him in the loop feeding with washout information,
and then do so on a periodic basis that you can negotiate. As for the length of
the period you mileage can vary. I saw pathological tenacious PIMM who, paradoxically,
was comfortable with just monthly reports. You need to test PIMM tolerance and if
monthly reports are enough consider yourself somewhat lucky, if we can talk about
luck in such a desperate situation. With some inventiveness you can safely
avoid him/her for the rest of the period.
Think about those periodic reports as feeding money into a parking
meter. If you stop putting money in, your meter will run out and you can get a ticket.
You can feed micromanager with spam instead of useful information
as long as the period is observed. Micromanagement is all about the procedure not
about the substance and that observation alone gives you considerable leverage even
on the worst of control freaks. In other words cheating is a noble art for anybody
who reports to a micromanager. Usually control freaks do not have time to read all
the mail and even if they do they easily swallow regular corporate BS due to self-induced
overload. You need to understand the level of their competence and if it is dismal
use this weakness. You can usually slightly fudge facts in your favor with
little risk: they have no time to check them as they are preoccupied with some meaningless
activity like creating yet another gigantic useless Excel spreadsheet that documents
absurd procedure for doing trivial things.
The second rule is to sugarcoat everything. PIMM have deeply
seated insecurity and their triggers go off at slight hint of criticism. That does
not mean that you should avoid confrontations. Just present it as if this is a child.
You can find a lot of material how teachers should behave with children and most
of them are relevant to communication with PIMM.
Remember
that you essentially are dealing with a sick person. You can practice
feeding him/her an irrelevant information
that makes him comfortable with the hope that it will let you avoid stupid outbursts
of anger. But such approach failed to avoid emotional outburst confront such behavior calmly and firmly:
“Understand but do not accept negative behavior.”
Be assertive and confident but never trust paranoid micromanager and never
try to build trust beyond some superficial ("I respect you") level.
PIMMs are special type of corporate
psychopaths and a psychopath is always a psychopath. Moreover they are usually
very skillful manipulators and will try to lure you into frank discussions. Never
bite this trap. Never volunteer any information that can be used against you. This
is a war and "a la guerre, comme a la guerre" as French defined such relationships:
war does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Never try to reform a PIMM. Leave this task to other people or to qualified medical personnel. To quote Susan
K. O’Brien (see
Tips for coping with a micromanager) “:
Micromanagement is a personality aberration of insecure
individuals. Confronting them is likely to make things worse.”
| Never try to reform a PIMM. Psychopath
cannot be reformed. Leave this task to other people or to
qualified medical personnel. |
Practice verbal aikido by deflecting direct questions and using
indirect communication instead of direct whenever possible. Like the martial
art of aikido, you don’t brace yourself for attack, but try to use your attacker’s
momentum to thwart the advance. Rather than go into defensive mode, pretend
to be proactive and cooperative and try to redirect the oncoming anger into complex
question that always surround supposedly "black and white" situation.
When someone tries to put you on the defensive, thanks them but
ask for more information using
Socratic questions, for example:
-
If
somebody says, ‘You did this,’ don’t respond with ‘I did not.’ Instead try, ‘Oh
really. What area of this work looks in danger of slipping schedule?"
-
Or "We really
experience difficulties due to recent change of the direction of the project. Let
me explain them"
-
Or if you need to think about a proper response "Let me bring coffee, I will be back in a minute."
-
Always be indirect
|
Use Socratic questions; be indirect.
|
For more detail please check two additional pages devoted to the topic:
Notes:
- Those pages are written by people for whom English is not a
native language. Some amount of grammar and spelling errors
should be expected.
- This is a Spartan WHYFF (We Help You For Free) site. It
cannot replace the best teachers and
the
best books.
- The site contain some obsolete pages as it develops like a
living tree... Some links on older pages
are broken. Please
try to use Google, Open directory, etc. to find a replacement link
(see
HOWTO search the WEB for details).
We would appreciate if you can
mail us a correct link.
|
|
Mr. Gabor offers these tips for using TACTFUL
conversations:
- T = Think before you speak
- A = Apologize quickly when you blunder
- C = Converse, don't compete
- T = Time your comments
- F = Focus on behavior - not on personality
- U = Uncover hidden feelings
- L = Listen for feedback
Other DOs and DON'Ts to
Accompany T-A-C-T-F-U-L Strategies
DO be direct, courteous and calm
DON'T be rude and pushy
DO spare others your unsolicited advice
DON'T be patronizing, superior or sarcastic
DO acknowledge that what works for you may not work for others
DON'T make personal attacks or insinuations
DO say main points first, then offer more details if necessary
DON'T expect others to follow your advice or always agree
with you
DO listen for hidden feelings
DON'T suggest changes that a person can not easily make.
Misunderstandings and communication problems remain one of the most common sources
of workplace strife, and interpersonal difficulties are magnified when conflicting
work styles coexist in one setting. Generational differences (baby boomers vs.
GenX-ers), personal management styles, educational background, and cultural
diversity are all potential sources of office misunderstandings.
While conflict is inevitable, it need not ruin your workday or cause unbearable
stress. Try these conflict resolution tips to make your work environment
a less stressful, more productive place:
- Be specific in formulating your complaints. "I'm never invited
to meetings" is not as effective as "I believe I would have been able to
contribute some ideas at last Thursday's marketing meeting."
- Resist the temptation to involve yourself in conflicts that do
not directly involve you or your responsibilities. Even if someone has clearly
been wronged, allow him or her to resolve the situation as he/she chooses.
- Try to depersonalize conflicts. Instead of a "me versus you"
mentality, visualize an "us versus the problem" scenario. This is not only
a more professional attitude, but it will also improve productivity and
is in the best interests of the company.
- Be open and listen to another’s point of view and reflect back
to the person as to what you think you heard. This important clarification
skills leads to less misunderstanding, with the other person feeling heard
and understood. Before explaining your own position, try to paraphrase and
condense what the other is saying into one or two sentences. Start with,
"So you're saying that..." and see how much you really understand about
your rival's position. You may find that you're on the same wavelength but
having problems communicating your ideas.
- Don't always involve your superiors in conflict resolution. You'll
quickly make the impression that you are unable to resolve the smallest
difficulties.
- If an extended discussion is necessary, agree first on a time
and place to talk. Confronting a coworker who's with a client or working
on a deadline is unfair and unprofessional. Pick a time when you're both
free to concentrate on the problem and its resolution. Take it outside
and away from the group of inquisitive coworkers if they're not involved
in the problem. Don't try to hold negotiations when the office gossip can
hear every word.
- Limit your complaints to those directly involved in the workplace
conflict. Character assassination is unwarranted. Remember, you need to
preserve a working relationship rather than a personal one, and your opinion
of a coworker's character is generally irrelevant. "He missed last week's
deadline" is OK; "he's a total idiot" is not.
- Know when conflict isn’t just conflict. If conflict arises due
to sexual, racial, or ethnic issues, or if someone behaves inappropriately,
that's not conflict, it's harassment. Take action and discuss the problem
with your supervisor or human resources department.
- Consider a mediator if the problem gets out of control, or if
the issue is too emotional to resolve in a mutual discussion. At this step,
your supervisor should be involved. You can consider using a neutral third
party mediator within your own company (human resources if available) or
hiring a professional counselor.
- Take home point: It’s not all about you - You may think it’s
a personal attack, but maybe your co-worker is just having a bad day. Take
time to think BEFORE you speak in response to an insensitive remark. It
may be that saying nothing is the best response.
In case of broken links
please try to use Google search. If you find the page please notify
us about new location
How to Excel During
Depositions, Techniques for Expert Witnesses That Work,
11 Communication Tips for a Healthy Workplace by MedicineNet.com
Improve
your supervisor relationship and reduce stress - MayoClinic.com
Court Appearance
and Deposition - Divorce Question
Copyright © 1996-2008 by Dr. Nikolai Bezroukov.
www.softpanorama.org was
created as a service to the UN Sustainable Development Networking Programme (SDNP)
in the author free time.
Submit
comments This document is an industrial compilation designed and created
exclusively for educational use and is placed under the copyright of the
Open Content License(OPL).
Original materials copyright belong to respective owners. Quotes are made
for educational purposes only in compliance with the fair use doctrine.
Standard disclaimer: The statements, views and opinions presented on
this web page are those of the author and are not endorsed by, nor do they necessarily
reflect, the opinions of the author present and former employers, SDNP or any other
organization the author may be associated with. We do not warrant the correctness
of the information provided or its fitness for any purpose.
Last updated:
June 05, 2008
