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Man page for Unix baby command

BABY(1) USER COMMANDS BABY(1)

NAME
baby - create new process from two parents

SYNOPSIS
baby -sex [m|f] [-name name]

DESCRIPTION
baby is initiated when one parent process polls another
server process through a socket connection in the BSD ver-
sion or through pipes in the System V implementation. baby
runs at low priority for approximately forty weeks and then
terminates with a heavy system load. Most systems require
constant monitoring when baby reaches its final stages of
execution.

Older implementations of baby did not require both initiat-
ing processes to be present at the time of completion. In
those versions the initiating process which was not present
was awakened and notified of the results upon completion.
It has since been determined that the presence of both
parent processes result in a generally lower system load at
completion, and thus current versions of baby expect both
parent processes to be active during the final stages.

Successful completion of baby results in the creation and
naming of a new process. Parent processes then broadcast
messages to all other processes, local and remote, informing
them of their new status.

OPTIONS
-sex define the gender of the created process

-name
assign the name name to the new process

EXAMPLES
baby -sex f -name Jacqueline

completed successfully on July 9, 1992 at 9:11pm.
Jacqueline's vital statistics: 8 pounds 3 oz, 20 inches,
long dark hair. The parent process, Kim Dunbar, is report-
edly doing fine.

SEE ALSO
cigar(6), dump(5), cry(3).

BUGS
Despite its complexity, baby only knows one signal, SIGCHLD,
(or SIGCLD in the System V implementation), which it uses to
contact the parent processes. One or both parent processes
must then inspect the baby process to determine the cause of
the signal.

The sleep(1) command may not work as expected on either
parent process for some time afterward, as each new instance
of baby sends intermittent signals to the parent processes
which must be handled by the parents immediately.

A baby process will frequently dump core, requiring either
or both parent processes to clean up after it.

Despite the reams of available documentation on invoking and
maintaining baby, most parent processes are overwhelmed.

AUTHORS
From a man page by Joe Beck, .

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CONDOM(1) USER COMMANDS CONDOM(1)

NAME
condom - protection against viruses and prevention of child
processes

SYNOPSIS
condom [options] [processid]

DESCRIPTION
condom provides protection against System Transmitted
Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system. Although the
spread of such viruses across a network can only be abated
by aware and cautious users, condom is the only highly
effective means of preventing viruses from entering your
system (see celibacy(1)). Any data passed to condom by the
protected process will be blocked, as specified by the value
of the -s option (see OPTIONS below). condom is known to
defend against the following viruses and other malicious
afflictions:

o+ AIDS
o+ Herpes Simplex (genital varieties)
o+ Syphilis
o+ Crabs
o+ Genital warts
o+ Gonhorrea
o+ Chlamydia
o+ Michelangelo
o+ Jerusalem

When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1),
foam(1), and/or setiud(3), condom also prevents the concep-
tion of a child process. If invoked from within a synchro-
nous process, condom has, by default, an 80% chance of
preventing the external processes from becoming parent
processes (see the -s option below). When other process
contraceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child
process from being forked becomes much greater. See
pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3) for more informa-
tion.

If no options are given, the current user's login process
(as determined by the environment variable USER) is pro-
tected with a Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reser-
voir tip. The optional ``processid'' argument is an integer
specifying the process to protect.

NOTE: condom may only be used with a hard disk. condom will
terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy
disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below).

OPTIONS
The following options may be given to condom:

-b brand
brands are as follows:

trojan (default)
ramses
sheik
goldcoin
fourex

-m material
The valid materials are:

latex (default)
saranwrap
membrane
WARNING! The membrane option is not endorsed
by the System Administrator General as an
effective barrier against certain viruses.
It is supported only for the sake of tradi-
tion.

-f flavor
The following flavors are currently supported:

plain (default)
apple
banana
cherry
cinnamon
licorice
orange
peppermint
raspberry
spearmint
strawberry

-r Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip)

-s strength
strength is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying
the resilience of condom against data passed to condom
by the protected process. Using a larger value of
strength increases condom's protective abilities, but
also reduces interprocess communication. A smaller
value of strength increases interprocess communication,
but also increases the likelihood of a security breach.
An extremely vigorous process or one passing an
enormous amount of data to condom will increase the
chance of condom's failure. The default strength is
80%.

-t texture
Valid textures are:

rough (default)
ribbed
bumps
lubricated
(provides smoother interaction between
processes)

WARNING: The use of an external application to condom in
order to reduce friction between processes has been proven
in benchmark tests to decrease condom's strength factor! If
execution speed is important to your process, use the ``-t
lubricated'' option.

DIAGNOSTICS
condom terminates with one of the following exit codes:

-1 An attempt was made to use condom on a floppy disk.

0 condom exited successfully (no data was passed to the
synchronous process).

1 condom failed and data was allowed through. The danger
of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child
process is inversely proportional to the number of
other protections employed and is directly proportional
to the ages of the processes involved.

BUGS
condom is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process
from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus
(although the System Administrator General has deemed that
condom is the most effective means of preventing the spread
of system transmitted viruses). See celibacy(1) for infor-
mation on a 100% effective program for preventing these
problems.

Remember, the use of sex(1) and other related routines
should only occur between mature, consenting processes. If
you must use sex(1), please employ condom to protect your
process and your synchronous process. If we are all respon-
sible, we can stop the spread of STVs.

AUTHORS and HISTORY
The original version of condom was released in Roman times
and was only marginally effective. With the advent of
modern technology, condom now supports many more options and
is much more effective.

The current release of condom was written by Ken Maupin at
the University of Washington ([email protected]) and
was last updated on 10/7/92.

SEE ALSO
celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and
setiud(3)

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FLAME(1) USER COMMANDS FLAME(1)

NAME
flame - reply to Usenet News posting automatically

SYNOPSIS
flame [options] [filename]

DESCRIPTION
Flame is a AI tool providing an automated method for reply-
ing to articles posted to Usenet News. Special care is paid
to allow the user to specify the type of reply he desires.
The following options are supported by flame:

-- Take input from stdin.

-x regexp
Crosspost to all newsgroups matching regexp.

-n number
Post this reply number times.

-b Reply in BIFF MODE.

-d Delay response until original posting expires.

-m Misdirect to a random Author.

-r ROT13 quotes from original posting.

-g regexp
Reply to all messages in newsgroups matching regexp.

-A Call the Author Assh*le in 12 languages.

-B Bait the Author.

-C Accuse the Author of communist leanings.

-D Denigrate the Author.

-E Picks apart the Author's educational background.

-F Accuse the Author of fascist leanings.

-G Post using Greek insult module.

-H Accuse the Author of homophobic leanings.

-I Question the Author's intelligence.

-J Accuse the Author of purchasing Japanese imports.

-K Accuse the Author of working for the KGB, MOSSAD, CIA,
or MI5 as appropriate.

-L Post using Latin insult module.

-M Insult the Author's mother.

-N Accuse the Author of Neo-Nazi leanings.

-O Quote obscure references proving falsehood of the post-
ing.

-P Question the Author's parentage.

-Q Accuse the Author of deviant sexual practices.

-R Accuse the Author of racist leaning.

-S Accuse the Author of sexist leanings.

-T Accuse the Author of cross dressing.

-U State that the Author just doesn't understand anything.

-V Pretend sympathy for Author's virgin sensibilities.

-W Accuse the Author of voting for George Bush.

-X Prepend obscene adjectives wherever syntactically
correct.

-Y Accuse the Author of PLO membership.

-Z Accuse the Author of Zionist leanings.

ENVIRONMENT
The environment variable FLAMETYPE can be set to any combi-
nation of the above parameters, and will be used as the
default flame type to generate.

The environment variable OBSCENE points to a file containing
miscellaneous obscene adjectives for the -X option above.

MACROS
Macro Support will be added to the next release of flame.

AUTHOR
Unknown

FILES
.lastflame
This file contains the number of the last article
flamed. Used when flameing an entire newsgroup.

.prefflame
This file contains the user's preferred flames.

.altflame
This file contains alternate phrasing of some of the
more standard flames. Used to keep the program from
flaming itself.

SEE ALSO
rn(1), more(1), newsrc(5), readnews(1), Pnews(1), Rnmail(1)

DIAGNOSTICS
Self Documenting.

BUGS
Occasionally, flame will turn on the user, and flame all
outgoing postings. When this happens, the best thing to do
reinstall your news software and flame.

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XKILL(1) USER COMMANDS XKILL(1)

NAME
xkill - extended kill - kill processes or users, including
Usenet posters.

SYNOPSIS
xkill [-signal] pid ...
xkill -l
xkill username[@host] ...
xkill -u [-qs] [-p] [newsgroup]

DESCRIPTION
xkill sends a signal to a process or a terminal. The first
two forms send a signal to a process. The functionality in
this case is the same as kill(1).

When the command xkill is invoked with an username as argu-
ment, it attempts to locate the specified user on the local
host. If the user is logged on, the signal ECUTE (electro-
cute, 666) is sent to the user's terminal. This will cause
the keyboard to electrocute the user. If the user is not
logged on, the appropriate line of the file /etc/passwd is
marked. The first time the user logs on the ECUTE signal is
sent to the terminal he is using.

When the command xkill is invoked with a remote username, in
the form user@host, a connection with the remote host is
attempted (see xkilld(8)), to send the ECUTE signal to the
user's terminal.

USENET KILL
The -u (Usenet) option is an extension of the concept of
KILL file.

The program will attempt to locate a remote user by scanning
the news spool area. When the user is located, a connection
is attempted with the appropriate host, and the ECUTE (elec-
trocute, 666) signal is sent to the appropriate user. The
search only considers one newsgroup. If none is specified,
rec.humor is assumed by default. The program attempts to
locate people whose signature is too long, and who quote a
whole article in order to comment on a single line. The
option -s can be used to consider only the size of signa-
tures, while the option -q can be used to consider only the
size of the quotations. The option -qs corresponds to the
default.

When the -p (post) switch is used, the user is electrocuted
next time he post news.

FILES
/etc/passwd to keep track of users marked for elec-
trocution

/etc/hosts list of remote hosts

/usr/spool/news news spool directory; the news articles
are stored here

Etc

Society

Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers : Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy

Quotes

War and Peace : Skeptical Finance : John Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand : Oscar Wilde : Otto Von Bismarck : Keynes : George Carlin : Skeptics : Propaganda : SE quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes : Random IT-related quotes : Somerset Maugham : Marcus Aurelius : Kurt Vonnegut : Eric Hoffer : Winston Churchill : Napoleon Bonaparte : Ambrose Bierce : Bernard Shaw : Mark Twain Quotes

Bulletin:

Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law

History:

Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds : Larry Wall : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOS : Programming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC development : Scripting Languages : Perl history : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history

Classic books:

The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-Month : How to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Hater’s Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite

Most popular humor pages:

Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor

The Last but not Least Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand ~Archibald Putt. Ph.D

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Last modified: March, 12, 2019