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(slightly skeptical) Educational society promoting "Back to basics" movement against IT overcomplexity and bastardization of classic Unix |
Written by Carter McNamara, MBA,
PhD, Authenticity Consulting, LLC. Copyright 1997-2006.
Adapted from the
Field Guide to
Leadership and Supervision.
1. Internal: Within yourself when you're not living according to your values;
2. When your values and perspectives are threatened; or
3. Discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.
Conflict is inevitable and often good, for example, good teams always go through a "form, storm,
norm and perform" period. Getting the most out of diversity means often-contradictory values, perspectives
and opinions.
Conflict is often needed. It:
Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem.
Conflict is a problem when it:
2. The alignment or the amount of resources is insufficient. There is:
3. "Personal chemistry", including conflicting values or actions among managers and employees, for example:
4. Leadership problems, including inconsistent, missing, too-strong or uninformed leadership (at any level in the organization), evidenced by:
2. Intentionally build relationships with all subordinates.
3. Get regular, written status reports and include:
4. Conduct basic training about:
5. Develop procedures for routine tasks and include the employees' input.
6. Regularly hold management meetings, for example, every month, to communicate new initiatives and status of current programs.
7. Consider an anonymous suggestion box in which employees can provide suggestions.
1. Name the conflict, or identify the issue, including what you want that you aren't getting. Consider:
a. Writing your thoughts down to come to a conclusion.
b. Talk to someone, including asking them to help you summarize the conflict in 5 sentences or less.
2. Get perspective by discussing the issue with your friend or by putting it down in writing. Consider:
a. How important is this issue?
b. Does the issue seem worse because you're tired, angry at something else, etc.?
c. What's your role in this issue?
3. Pick at least one thing you can do about the conflict.
a. Identify at least three courses of action.
b. For each course, write at least three pros and cons.
c. Select an action - if there is no clear course of action, pick the alternative that
will not hurt, or be least hurtful, to yourself and others.
d. Briefly discuss that course of action with a friend.
4. Then do something.
a. Wait at least a day before you do anything about the conflict. This gives you
a cooling off period.
b. Then take an action.
c. Have in your own mind, a date when you will act again if you see no clear
improvement.
a. Write down 5 traits that really bug you when see them in others.
b. Be aware that these traits are your "hot buttons".
2. Manage yourself. If you and/or the other person are getting heated up, then manage yourself to
stay calm by
a. Speaking to the person as if the other person is not heated up - this can be very
effective!
b. Avoid use of the word "you" - this avoids blaming.
c. Nod your head to assure them you heard them.
d. Maintain eye contact with them.
3. Move the discussion to a private area, if possible.
4. Give the other person time to vent.
a. Don't interrupt them or judge what they are saying.
5. Verify that you're accurately hearing each other. When they are done speaking:}
a. Ask the other person to let you rephrase (uninterrupted) what you are hearing from
them to ensure you are hearing them.
b. To understand them more, ask open-ended questions. Avoid "why" questions -
those questions often make people feel defensive.
6. Repeat the above step, this time for them to verify that they are hearing you. When you present
your position
a. Use "I", not "you".
b. Talk in terms of the present as much as possible.
c. Mention your feelings.
7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree.
8. Work the issue, not the person. When they are convinced that you understand them:
a. Ask "What can we do fix the problem?" They will likely begin to complain again.
Then ask the same question. Focus on actions they can do, too.
9. If possible, identify at least one action that can be done by one or both of you.
a. Ask the other person if they will support the action.
b. If they will not, then ask for a "cooling off period".
10. Thank the person for working with you.
11. If the situation remains a conflict, then:
a. Conclude if the other person's behavior conflicts with policies and procedures in
the workplace and if so, present the issue to your supervisor.
b. Consider whether to agree to disagree.
c. Consider seeking a third party to mediate.
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Conflict management - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
workplaceissues.com Conflict in the Workplace
Bell, Art. (2002). Six ways to resolve workplace conflicts. McLaren School of Business, University of San Francisco. Available on the World Wide Web at http://www.usfca.edu/fac-staff/bell/article15.html . Date visited, March 11, 2002.Hart, Brett. (2000). Conflict in the workplace. Behavioral Consultants, P.C. Available on the World Wide Web at http://behavioralconsultants.com/Newsletters/conflict_in_the_workplace.htm . Date visited, March 27, 2002.
Reynolds, Stephanie, and Eryn Kalish. (2002). Managing collaborative conflict resolution. Reynolds/Kalish website. Available on the World Wide Web at http://www.reynoldskalish.com/mccr.html . Date visited, March 13, 2002.
___. (1983). Websters New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, second edition. New York, NY: Websters.
Society
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