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|May the source be with you, but remember the KISS principle ;-)|
[Dec 19, 2000] The New Yorker Book of Technology Cartoons
- Man in room filled with people working at computers talking on the telephone, looking glum -- "No, the computers are up. We're down."
- Father to son -- "Go ask your search engine."
- Girl to her boyfriend -- "You say you love me, but I'm not on your speed dial."
- Two men staring at a fax of a man with a tie pressed across his face -- "My God, there's been a terrible accident in our Chicago office."
- Woman to a small boy in a restaurant -- "I loved your E-mail, but I thought you'd be older."
- Man talking to a microwave -- "No, I don't want to play chess. I just want to reheat the lasagna."
- Man proposing -- "Marry me, Virginia. My genes are excellent and, as yet, unpatented."
- Man in hammock -- "America Off-Line"
- Couple in bed -- "Not tonight, hon. It'll just wreak havoc with the motion sensors again."
- Wife during wedding ceremony -- "I'm delighted to love, honor, and obey, but I'm keeping my electronic rights."
- Buffalo with cell phone -- "I love the convenience, but the roaming charges are killing me."
[Nov 24, 2000] Unix is a huge iceberg with spots of penguin shit on the top
[Nov 24, 2000] To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
The Tales from Tech Support
Fly the Friendly Skies of Computer-Operating-Systems
Fate and the Independent Thinker
The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer." One student replied: You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building." This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED!
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university physicists. The new element was tentatively named Administratium. It has no protons and no electrons, and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice-neutrons, and 161 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 247. These 247 particles are held together by a force that involves constant exchange of a special class of particle called morons.
Since it does not have electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over four days to complete. Without Administratium, the reaction took less than one second.
Administratium has a half-life of approximately three years, after which it does not normally decay but instead undergoes a complex nuclear process called "Reorganization". In this little-understood process, assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons appear to exchange places. Early results indicate that atomic mass actually increases after each "Reorganization".
[10/07/2000] THE LICENSE AGREEMENT
The other day I was sitting in a bar when the guy next to me asked for a light. I thought to myself, Hey, there is a market here. I just need to figure out how to exploit it. So I said to the guy, "I can't give you a light without some compensation for my time and effort, not to mention my flint, my steel and my lighter fluid. So, I will, for $0.25, licence to you the right to burn one of your cigarettes."
The guy was a little drunk and probably thought that I was too, so he gave me a quarter and I lit his cigarette. As I was pocketing the quarter, to my horror and dismay, this guy's buddy took the cigarette I had just lit and used it to light his own cigarette, in clear violation of the licence agreement! This person had stolen my fire!
AND, before I could point out the violation to this thief, he passed the lit cigarette on to other patrons of the bar. Soon everyone in the bar was benefiting from my fire. I had no recourse but to try to enforce the contract, but as I was going from patron to patron trying to explain that they had stolen from me and that they owed me 25 cents each, the bouncer threw me out of the bar and suggested that I insert my lighter in a place that I consider anatomically difficult if not impossible. I guess that there will always be thieves.
At least you and I have the pleasure of ranting about them.
John Lennon's Yesterday -- variation for programmers.
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
Ode to GPL by Kurt Gavor - [sing along] ( Sep 7, 2000)
The License Police, as dogmatic as they can get...
The License Police, they'll come and judge your code
Well I can't write code 'cause they're lookin' at me...
And when I fall asleep bet they're griping 'bout me...
'Cause they're yelling at me, unbundling me...
They're driiivin' me insane.....
...Those men at Deb-i-annnn....
(with apologies to Cheap Trick)
|hey there sonny... (Score:5,
by TWX_the_Linux_Zealot (email@example.com) on Wednesday September 13, @02:08PM EDT (#76)
(User #227666 Info)
|... back in my day, we didn't have any http search tools. I had to walk twelve miles, buck naked, in the snow to find a terminal with access to an archie client, and we didn't have no graphics neither! we had to read binary code to interpret our results, if we even got any over out 110 baud connection! and sometimes the results would be in swahili, and we didn't know what to make of what we downloaded, but we were happy! not whining snot nosed little brats like yourselves, who are mad because you can't find that naked picture of Britney Spears or haven't broken 88TB of mp3s downloaded, so stop sniveling!|
Slashdot's Alarmism (Score:3, Funny)
by KingJawa (dan at whattheheck dot com) on Wednesday September 13, @01:32PM EDT (#23)
(User #65904 Info) http://www.WhatTheHeck.com/
If David Letterman were to do a "Top 10 Geeks Signs Hell Is Freezing Over," he'd probably need only to look at the /. headlines.
"OMG, Compaq may be violating GPL!!! Someone ask /.!"
"Run for the hills! Google is pimping Yahoo!"
"A private company decided not to publish DeCSS -- it's the end of free speech as we know it!"
"*Red Alert* Corporations try to make money *Red Alert* "
Linux should be set free (Humor)
by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 18, @09:40AM EDT (#18)
We must let Linux permutate by itself without anybody in control of it. There should be no Monster Dictator on top that demands what should go in and what should not. We do not want another Stalin amongst our comrades. We peasants should take control, not let any power hungry man on top tell us how kernel lock synchronization should be implemented.
With this way, all variations would grow, with the lackluster ones dying off. There is no other way to evolve in our commune. We have to follow the example of the human species in the world, in which we come to dominate the mammal universe not because of our brute strength, but because of our superior intelligence. If we blow each other up, that is the way it is, since the survivors would be go on to build a better race(whatever that would be.)
So all comrades, rise to arm and pick out your mouse. We must topple anyone with power within our group as they are the perpetrators to our progress toward Utopia. Suppression of our freedom to do it anyway we want to shall not be a rule of the game anymore.
! Central control is the true way of evolving.
[Aug 23, 2000] Byte.com: The Great Penguin Hoax Letter from Alan Cox
All in all, Linux is a waste of time, and its devotees can't see the forest for the trees. Any advantages Linux may have as an operating system is more than canceled out by the lack of uniformity, lack of documentation, and lack of hardware support. Unless one is willing to invest a great deal of time and money in Linux, don't bother. Win 9x, Win NT, and Win 2K may be bloatware and may be overpriced, but just like back in 1976 when I bought MS-Basic on papertape, it works and the documentation is accurate and clear.
Now I'm going fishing.
American Focus: Should The U.S. Impose Limits On Incredibly Stupid Shit
"The manufacture, marketing and distribution of stupid, worthless shit is an unfortunate but unavoidable reality of any modern industrialized nation. Nonetheless, the problem has gotten way out of hand here in America," said C. Brian Mattson, a member of the Commerce Department's Advisory Board On Stupid, Really Stupid & Incredibly Stupid Shit, testifying before Congress Monday. "The time has come to face facts: Without some sort of cap on America's unchecked stupid-shit production, we face a crisis of diminished intelligence within the national discourse that threatens to bury our society under a tidal wave of crap the likes of which the world has never seen."
'I Provide Office Solutions,' Says Pitiful Little Man a nice parody on programmers in general and open source programmers in particular
"VisTech is your one-stop source for Internet and Intranet open source development, as well as collaborative-computing support," said Smuda, adjusting the toupee he has worn since age 23. "We are a full-service company that can evaluate and integrate multi-platform environments, including Unix-based Sun workstations, Novell Netware-based PC servers and AppleTalk-based TCP/IP LANs."
"Remember, no job is too small for the professionals at VisTech," added the spouseless, childless man, who is destined to die alone and unloved. "And no job is too big, either."
Area Man Consults Internet Whenever Possible
COLUMBUS, OH--Larry Wisniewski, a 36-year-old Columbus-area office manager, turns to the Internet for information whenever humanly possible.
"Are you trying to find out what time Angela's Ashes is playing at Crosswoods Marcus Cinema?" Wisniewski asked his wife Pamela, noticing her looking through The Columbus Dispatch's movie listings. "I can log on to the Dispatch's web site and check it in a flash."
"Now that my household is hooked up to the Internet, nothing is out of reach," Wisniewski said. "With the click of a mouse, anything we could want to know is available--even stuff that's otherwise only available in print."
Wisniewski's fervor for consulting the Internet has not gone unnoticed by his wife.
"I was on the phone getting directions to a restaurant we were going out to," Pamela said, "when Larry started yelling, 'No, no, don't ask! I'll find it!' So he opens up mapquest.com, enters our address and the restaurant's, and within 10 minutes, he had complete door-to-door directions printed out."
"That's right," Larry said. "And she wanted to get a pen and write down the directions by hand."
The Internet came in equally handy last Sunday, when Pamela suggested making pancakes for breakfast. "There was a good recipe on the side of the Bisquick box, but Larry insisted on getting on that AltaVista thing and searching for more," Pamela said.
After only 30 minutes of searching, Wisniewski came up with nearly 200 different pancake recipes. "Without the Internet," Larry said, "she would've been stuck with the one variety of pancakes available from the box."
"Let's face it," he added, "Bisquick boxes are a dead medium."
Internet Opens Up Whole New World Of Illness For Local Hypochondriac
MERIDEN, CT--All her life, Janet Hartley has suffered from a host of ill-defined viruses and inexplicable aches and pains, diagnosing herself with everything from diabetes to cancer. But ever since discovering such online medical resources as WebMD, drkoop.com, and Yahoo! Health, the 41-year-old hypochondriac has had a whole new world of imaginary illnesses opened up to her.
"The Internet has really revolutionized my ability to keep on top of my medical problems," said Hartley, speaking from her bed. "For instance, I used to think my headaches were just really bad migraines. But then last week, while searching Mt. Sinai Hospital's online medical database, I learned about something much more serious called cranial AVM, or arteriovascular malformation, which, along with headache pain, may also result in dizziness, loss of concentration, and impaired vision. I immediately thought to myself, 'Hey, that's exactly what happens to me.'"
Slashdot RemarQ.com Shutting Down
"You mean I can no longer expect to enjoy a grossly overinflated market cap for my unprofitable, $200-million-in-debt Internet start-up? That's not fair!" -- Onion
US Patent 05443036 Page 1 -- I didn't know I infringed this patent :)
|In other news.... (Score:4,
by soulsteal (firstname.lastname@example.org) on Wednesday August 02, @06:41PM EDT (#38)
(User #104635 Info) http://ocean.otr.usm.edu/~estisdal
|Later that day, RMS was seen communicating with the
mainframe leader of Cyberdyne, creators of SkyNet. He was trying to convince
SkyNet to GPL the code that runs at the hearts of all T-100 Terminator
models. It's rumored that SkyNet is holding onto it's closed source ways due
to a belief that the human resistance would be able to find security
exploits that would allow them control of improperly secured Terminators.
"The rain in Spain falls mainly on the Spaniards."
Nation's Schoolchildren Call For Cuts In Math, Science Funding
Hired Magazine interviews Good Software Group founder -- RMS under the fire ;-)
The following is an interview by Hired Magazine, the monthly magazine devoted to commerce and trade, with Gilbert Oram Dawson, the founder of the Good Software Group.
Hired: Gilbert, it's been fifteen years since you single-handedly created the Good Software movement and its spokesman and umbrella organization, the Good Software Group. How does it feel to be sitting in the catbird seat, now that Good Software is all the rage? Dawson: It's a great feeling to see just about everyone either using or else wanting to use Good Software. It proves that I am the visionary I always told you I was. But I'll tell you this: it hurts me that most people don't realize that without the Good Software Group, they probably wouldn't even have any Good Software. In fact, most people who use Good Software have barely even heard of the GSG. It really wounds me to be so under-appreciated, even after all the Good Software that I've personally created for the world.
... ... ... ... ...
Hired: Do you feel that the Good Software Group is neglected when the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal mentions E-commerce but doesn't talk about how important Good Software and the GSG in particular have been to it? Dawson: I don't care for the word `E-commerce', and you've put your finger on exactly why. It disrespects how important we are. Don't you realize that without Good Software, the E-conomy would be nowhere? It's the very foundation of the entire system! Oh, there isn't always a lot of our stuff there, but we were the guiding light behind it all. That's why I insist upon the term `Good/E-commerce' instead. However, if you really find that difficult, I shall permit you to use the term `E/Good-Commerce' in my presence as a tolerable but not a preferable alternative. The reason I don't care for it as much is that you've placed the Good part too far back, even though I really started it all. At least you give the GSG some credit that way, though. Hired: I'm sorry - I'll try to more careful from now on. I'd like to thank you for this interview. I'm sure that this will clarify for our readers your role in the goodware movement-- Dawson: Stop right there! I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the so-called `goodware' movement. I am the founding father of `Good Software' movement, which is completely different. `Goodware' is the despicable term used by a sham libertarian outfit who's trying to reach out to the not-for-profit community. When they say `goodware', they just mean software that's not bad. Can you believe it? Do you realize that they actually support letting people take what was originally Good Software and convert it into something that will never be used for one single good or service? That no longer will money change hands? Why, if everyone did that, our whole country would fall apart! That's not Good Software, and I shall have nothing to do with them. Fortunately, the GPL prohibits them from doing that with GPL'd software, which is why I strongly advocate slapping the GPL on every bit of software you can. It's the only way to keep those gun-toting libertarians off our backs and to keep our nation's E-conomy strong! By using the GPL to make Permanently Good Software!
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avShould vUse pIt aAll dThe nTime, adNo nMatter pWhat dThe nContext,
adEven adWhen vSpeaking.
p = pronoun
v = verb
a = adjective
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d = def. art.
c = conjunction
av = aux. verb
ad = adverb
s = smiley
C. Keith Ray
32BitsOnline.com - An exclusive interview with Linus 'Linux' Torvalds and Alan 'Kernel Hacker' Cox [Feature Articles-Interview]
(C) Clifford: So. What kinds of userland changes you referred to a minute ago in the car, uh - what kinds of enhancements have you made for the upcoming release?
(LT) Linus Torvalds: Well. We talked a lot about - em - Alan and I talked a lot about the things that were keeping Linux from really taking over the desktop - not the things he and I usually talk about - in the kernel space - but in the actual user functionality, and we decided to go back to the beginning, as it were - back to the earliest utilities that were available for the majority of the computer users out there.
(AC)Alan Cox: (To the waitress) I had the bangers - the sausage, uh - and......you know, this doesn't taste like beer much. You got any Guinness ?
(W)Waitress: Well, honey, we have some of that Red Hook, if you don't like the Bud....
(AC) All right, I'll try it. You know, for all the genius in the States you people really never got the hang of beer.....
(W) Most folks around here think it's just right. Where you from? New York?
(AC) No..... England, actually. But I lived in North Carolina for a couple of years...
(LT) ...er, as I was saying, the user space that most of the people in the world were comfortable with, before the Windows user space, and the command line...
(AC) Mostly we were tired of getting all the crap in the press about how difficult Linux was to use and customize - hey, mum, that was good, can I have another?? And we thought since there was such an incredible user base among people who had used DOS for such a long time that we could....
(LT) ...That we could really capitalize on this specific group - people old enough to really make decisions in the companies that they work for - IT executives, VP's in charge of purchasing...and...
(AC) And "the media" just like you, Cliffie...
... ... ...
Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes
REDMOND, WA--In what CEO Bill Gates called "an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors," the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.
With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and ones--the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programs--unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.
"Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975," Gates told reporters. "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek compensation for the use of our numerals."
A number of major Silicon Valley players, including Apple Computer, Netscape and Sun Microsystems, said they will challenge the Microsoft patent as monopolistic and anti-competitive, claiming that the 10-cent-per-digit licensing fee would bankrupt them instantly.
"While, technically, Java is a complex system of algorithms used to create a platform-independent programming environment, it is, at its core, just a string of trillions of ones and zeroes," said Sun Microsystems CEO Scott McNealy, whose company created the Java programming environment used in many Internet applications. "The licensing fees we'd have to pay Microsoft every day would be approximately 327,000 times the total net worth of this company."
.... .... .... .... .... ...
|details (Score:3, Funny)
by Golias on Tuesday June 27, @04:18PM EDT (#22)
[June 27, 2000] Such a sexy means to such an unsexy end by Sebbo (email@example.com) on Tuesday June 27, @04:15PM EDT (#16) (User Info) http://world.std.com/~sebbo
The original press conference read sort of like the Cheese Shop Sketch.
"The crusoe can emulate any chip at all."
"Like a PowerPC?"
"Or an Alpha?"
"Or a Dragonball?"
"So what can it actually emulate?"
"Any chip at all, so long as it's an x86."
[June 09, 2000] www.perl.com - ANSI Standard Perl Since you've in the business for a respectable number of years, what are your five biggest pet peeves about programming?
LR: That's a toughie. How about four, in no particular order:
- Extracting from the potential user a complete and useful specification of a problem.
- Coping with buggy or inadequately documented tools.
- Keeping things functioning as operating environments evolve. (No one wants anything to change except the things that that person wants changed.
- Evaporating expectations of quality.
(1980's paradigm: If it's worth implementing once, it's worth implementing twice.
1990's paradigm: Ship the prototype!
2000's paradigm: Ship the idea!)
[June 08, 2000] i think that ESR's idea of geeks with guns is the scarest thing about being a geek...i mean..i've seen these people get in fights over text editors. just imagine them with guns.
[June 08, 2000] The evil Linux empire is complete Slashdot reader joke on VA Linux acquisition of Andover.net
"The merger *will* be completed on schedule, my Master."
"You have done well, Lord Taco... and now I sense you wish to continue your search for young Hemos."
"Yes, my Master..."
With the recent merger of VA systems and Andover.net, Slashdot has gained an unreasonable degree of dominance over the web discussion market, claimed the Justice Department Wednesday. Negotiations are continuing between Andover lawyers and government officials, but a current plan would break Slashdot up into a number of competing operations, each in charge of one of its flagship products:
Slash: News for nerds
Dot: Stuff that matters
org: Hot Grits
A press release from CmdrTaco claims that they are cooperating with the Justice Department, but do not feel that criticism of their business as monopolistic is warranted. As competition in each of their major areas, Taco cited Kuro5hin, the American Civil Liberties Union, and the work of Jesustussinheadface.
[April 16, 2000] A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer.
[April 1, 2000] OpenBSD to merge with RedHat (Press Release) -- nice parody on the opportunism of Bob Yong:
The new merged operating system will also be released under the Rad Hat Community Source License. Young was quick to point that the new 15 page source license still means business as usual for developers
and users. "Whatever you could do with the source code before, you can still do under the new license", said Young. "It's just that corporate buyers didn't take us seriously with the GPL or the BSD licenses. Now
that they have to spend serious cash on lawyers to interpret this thing for them, they view us as a real software vendor.
SOURCE OPEN SOURCE (PART I) posted to Slashdot by Anonymous Coward on
Thursday March 16. Nice parody on Start Wars as one slashdot reader put it "a
great take-off/rip on return of the jedi (for what THAT movie was worth)"
[Feb 9, 2000] Slashdot Science Sleep Deprivation Increases Brain Activity -- contains good parody on Slashdot style:
[Feb 8, 2000] Ode to greed
|Ode to Greed
by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 09, @09:48AM EST (#137)
[Jan 21, 2000] Me use linux too IPO open sore Linus open ebiz ASP solutions
The final destruction of what used to be a charming little OS scene arrived today, Monday, December 13, 1999.
linuxtoday is spewing forth "me-use-linux-too-IPO-open-sore-Linus-open-ebiz-ASP-solutions" press releases from every backwater, buzzless Joe Q. Corp with a hotmail account...
OS figureheads are being courted for interviews with a veracity that is usually reserved only for pathological child molesters and internet CEOS, and sometimes both.
Forty thousand "Embedded Internet eSolution Firewall Privacy Biz Remote" solutions are being deeply discounted to the five people who care enough to add one more yeahd00ditssecure.pl script to their boxes...
2-bit players are buying half-bit companies without a dime to their names just to get at the word linux in their press releases...
[Jan 9, 2000] osOpinion: A Letter from Bill GPL as Gate's Public License - not bad ;-)
Let's give that poor Finn some relief. You've leaned on him too long. Besides, he
works for my buddy, Paul. Let's help Paul to get his undivided attention for a while.
[Jan 9, 2000] Netslave quiz
AT YOUR LAST JOB INTERVIEW, YOU EXHIBITED:
B. Mild Wariness
C. Tried to overcome headache. I was really tied
D. Controlled Hostility
2. DESCRIBE YOUR WORKPLACE:
A. An enterprising, dynamic group of individuals laying the groundwork for tomorrow's economy.
B. A bunch of geeks with questionable social skills.
C. An anxiety-ridden, with long hours and a lot of stress because of backbiting bunch of finger-pointers.
D. Jerks and PHB
3. DESCRIBE YOUR HOME:
A. Small, but efficient.
B. Shared and dormlike.
C. Rubble-strewn and fetid.
D. I have a personal network at my home with three or more connected computers and permanent connection to the Internet
[Jan 8, 2000] The power of Microsoft tech support
A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty
TECH: "What's the problem?"
User: "There's smoke coming out of the power supply."
TECH: "You'll need a new power supply."
User: "No I don't! I just need to change the startup files."
TECH: "Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it."
User: "No way! Someone told me I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command."
The User is still adamant that he is right.
The TECH is frustrated and fed up!
TECH: "Sorry sir, we don't normally tell our customers this, there is an undocumented Windows command that will fix the problem."
User: "I knew it!"
TECH: "Just add the line NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the autoexec.bat. Let me know how it goes."
... ... ...
[Jan. 7, 2000] ESR parody
fat-time waddled down the sidewalk with his lubricating midget rapid fire pellet gun tucked firmly under arm. ahead, he noticed a well-dressed man leaning against a building reading a paper.
"howdy sir, " fat-time nodded.
"whatcha readin' there, sir?"
"i'm reading about this evil tool of the devil, my friend. they call it open-source software. it's a new software development paradigm brought over here by the communisses."
fat-time reddened with fury, "bastard communisses!"
"yes, friend. the communisses are a blight upon our democratic way!"
the rapid fire pellet gun began to grow impatient, "come on, fat-time, i want some cheese!"
... ... ...
[Jan. 5, 2000] An Open Letter to the Y2K Bug
It's 2am, January 1st, 2000. Most of the parties are over, all the large crowds have dispersed. The fireworks have all gone off and the corks have popped from countless bottles of champagne. It was a fun party, or so I'm told. I wouldn't know. I've been at my computer in the office 'just in case' something goes wrong. I'd like to take this time to thank the now infamous Y2K Bug for not causing any real problems. While I'm at it, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank a few other people that are directly related.
First off, I'd like to thank the media for it's sharp, critical coverage of all things Y2K related. Did we really need a five minute segment on how a town in Michigan solved a small part of their potential problem by installing stop signs at every intersection? Congratulations, you pulled off another successful media event. Perhaps in all of your coverage, you could have found someone that wasn't a prophet of doom. Perhaps someone that makes a career out of computer administration? Give us sustenance, not more endless speculation. Show me what's been done, not what might happen, or someone's worst fears.
[Jan. 5, 2000] Salon Technology Predictions for 2000
[Jan. 5, 2000] Finnux redux
Having resolved in a national referendum that it was high time that the country of Finland should be known for something more than saunas and the world's highest per-capita cell phone use, the Finns will declare an open-source country. Citizenship will be open to anybody who writes any portion of the new constitution. The Finnish parliament, the Eduskunta, will be replaced by a high-powered array of computers that will be responsible for key political decisions such as the appropriate length of time for streetlights to stay yellow. Linux creator and open-source demigod Linus Torvalds, however, will be left out of the decision-making process because of widespread confusion about whether he is a Finn or a penguin.
[Jan. 5, 2000] The man who got what he wanted
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great", he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry,wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.