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Experts arose from their own urgent need to exist.

Murphy's laws

 I am 7 years old. My friend told me that Linus Torvalds is a talking penguin. Papa don't know. Please tell me the truth.

 from a Slashdot post


Linux sysadmins are the most happy sysadmins on the planet

There are four major species of Unix sysadmins:
  1. ...
  2. The Administrative Fascist.
    Usually a retentive drone (or rarely, a harridan ex-secretary) who has been forced into system administration.
  3. ...
  4. The Idiot.
    Usually a cretin, morphodite, or old COBOL programmer selected to be the system administrator by a committee of cretins, morphodites, and old COBOL programmers

Know your Unix System Administrator

It's not a real ad

Softpanorama Open Source
 Humor Archive
(A Unique Collection of Open Source-Related Humor)

(Prev)  Vol. 17, 2005  (Next)

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Vol 10(1998) Vol 9(1997) Vol 8(1996) Vol 7(1995) Vol 6
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Dr. Nikolai Bezroukov

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NEWS CONTENTS

Free as in "There's No Profit" News :-)

As a service to our readers who have better things to do than to read the self-congratulating news on Slashdot or Linux Today every day, we present the highlights of the best open source humor stories for the current year. But sometimes they are from the previous year or even from the previous century; sometimes they are not about open source. You are warned ;-)

- Editor

An average Slashdot reader loves Linux and runs Windows
- From a Slashdot post of a person who,
probably, has access to the Slashdot webservers logs
with their 90% of Windows hits

[Dec 5, 2005] Slashdot Richard Stallman Accosted For Tinfoil Hat

Bruce Perens posts in his blog about an amusing encounter between Richard Stallman and United Nations security at the World Summit on the Information Society in Tunis. It seems that RFID technology, which Stallman opposes for privacy reasons, was used in the identification badges for the conference. From the blog: 'You can't give Richard a visible RF ID strip without expecting him to protest. Richard acquired an entire roll of aluminum foil and wore his foil-shielded pass prominently.' During a keynote speech, Stallman also passed around the tinfoil for other to use as well. It seems that UN security was not amused...

Paranoia isn't cheap(Score:5, Funny)
by CosmeticLobotamy (155360) on Saturday November 19, @11:09AM (#14070685)

You deserve what you get if you use aluminum foil. Any conspiracy theorist worth his salary won't accept anything less than genuine tin.

[Nov 15, 2005] Fighting bugs in Microsoft . Really cool :-)

[Nov 7, 2005] Practice safe image viewing folks!

(Score:5, Funny)

by nizo (81281) * on Tuesday November 08, @06:15PM (#13983543)
(Last Journal: Monday November 07, @06:24PM)

Or your computer could get an STD (Screenally Transmitted Disease) from viewing pornographic images.

Novell Soup Opera

See what happens when a software development company opens the Pandora box of Linux. It seems poor Novell has become too friendly with the shadow of Corel. Whi will jump in and buy their remaining IP and NDS. Will IBM want to grab yet another victim of "Linux curse" ? Tune in tomorrow and see. The suspense is killing me! Only available on Slashdot.

I just can't believe...

(Score:2, Funny) by haraldm (643017) on Thursday October 27, @06:15PM (#13892897)

... Novell going south that quickly. Somebody's spreading FUD here.

Re:I just can't believe...

(Score:0)

by Timesprout (579035) on Thursday October 27, @06:20PM (#13892932) This is slashdot where groupthink is convinced massively wealthy, divested and well run corporations are constantly on the brink of extinction. That same groupthink predicted that Novell, a company in serious trouble before and after it acquired Suse, would soon take over the IT world just because it had a linux distro.

If Novell does sell Suse...

(Score:1, Funny)

by technoextreme (885694) on Thursday October 27, @06:14PM (#13892889)

How about the entire slashdot community donates a dollar and buys the company?

Slashdot Three Snort Books Reviewed

Three Cheers for Slashdot

(Score:1, Interesting)

by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 13, @02:16PM (#6688152)

Slashdot strikes out
reported by Anonymous Cannibal

In developing news, Slashdot.org [slashdot.org] has released a non-SCO related article. Slashdotters are ecstatic at the incoming news "Oh man I really thought it was the end of the road there for a minute, I mean last week was bad, but as of Sunday, I don't know how many SCO based articles they posted. I think it's somewhere in the low hundreds though" stated a user who wished to remain anonymous.

"It's exciting for the moment, but I know these morons will just post some other sickening story about a company that's about to go under any god damned moment". stated fx0rspy.

... ... ...

(c) 2003 Disgruntled Slashdotter

Web Intrustion Detection

(Score:3, Informative)

by ivan.ristic (631774) on Wednesday August 13, @03:22PM (#6688651)
(http://www.webkreator.com/)

If you are interested in detecting and preventing web attacks specifically then you should have a look at mod_security [modsecurity.org]. It is an Apache module (both branches are supported) that allows for some very interesting HTTP-specific filtering. It even supports POST method analysis, and can reject an offending request. Since it works as part of the web server it makes it much easier to detect attacks carried out through an SSL channel.

The dotCommunist Manifesto by Eben Moglen

A Spectre is haunting multinational capitalism--the spectre of free information. All the powers of ``globalism'' have entered into an unholy alliance to exorcize this spectre: Microsoft and Disney, the World Trade Organization, the United States Congress and the European Commission.

Where are the advocates of freedom in the new digital society who have not been decried as pirates, anarchists, communists? Have we not seen that many of those hurling the epithets were merely thieves in power, whose talk of ``intellectual property'' was nothing more than an attempt to retain unjustifiable privileges in a society irrevocably changing? But it is acknowledged by all the Powers of Globalism that the movement for freedom is itself a Power, and it is high time that we should publish our views in the face of the whole world, to meet this nursery tale of the Spectre of Free Information with a Manifesto of our own.

August: Season of the crashes (Score:5, Interesting)
by Destoo (530123) <destoo@gmaFREEBSDil.com minus bsd> on Thursday August 18, @12:11PM (#13348237)
(http://destoo.com/ | Last Journal: Thursday April 17, @10:51AM)
I would like to name August the official Worm month.

August 2003: Sobig
August 2004: Sasser
August 2005: Zotob

Slashdot ZOTOB Not Quite as Bad as Expected

*not minimal* (Score:3, Funny)
by plarsen (579155) on Thursday August 18, @12:08PM (#13348208 )

It is not a minimal risk for a Windows XP system to get infected. Not after Microsoft have changed their Windows Update program. I have alot of friends struggling with properly secureing their pirated version of XP.

*Re:not minimal* (Score:5, Funny)
by op12 (830015) on Thursday August 18, @12:12PM (#13348252)

Dear plarsen,

Send me a list of your friends names and addresses, and I will get
the problem resolved immediately.

-Bill G.

Nice quotes

[Aug 17, 2005] [Softpanorama] Stallman Cloned to Finish his Job on Hurd

Unidentified fan cut off a piece of RMS beard while he was sleeping after free software feather section at Usenix and cloned the man several times. "I want many more Stallman's clones" he explained in his phone conversation with New York times -- "I want them to write Hurd OS, the work unfinished by the original human prototype. Also both GCC and emacs now are showing its age and need fresh workforce to prevent stagnation. ". "That's the most effective way to support the idea of free software" the man stated.

There were rumors that he already has at least three RMS clones and expect to raise the number to nine in the near future. I have enough generic material for a battalion of RMS clones boasted the man. He also mentioned that Linus Torvalds clones are also in his plans.

Asked about question whether human cloning is legal the perpetrator of this mass RMS cloning replied to NYT correspondent Judith Miller that he does not care. "I think genes are essentially a form of software that wants to be free and realize themselves in as many copies as possible" he stated.

Slashdot The Cathedral In The Bazaar An interesting remark about Slashdot objectivity:

With all due respect (Score:3, Interesting)
by Amsterdam Vallon (639622) <amsterdamvallon2003@yahoo.com> on Friday January 10, @06:46PM (#5059174)
(http://www.mit.edu/)
Why is everything that gets posted on Slashdot these days either:

A) A write-up done by someone boasting about their latest article, experiment, or "product",
or
B) A write-up done by one of the editors that sounds sneakily like an inside-job advertisement done to line the wallets of VA, OSDN, Slashdot, or whoever the hell owns this site these days

Just an honest question -- don't mean to offend anyone.

Shift Key FAQ by by Alan Meiss

Unleash the Power of Shift!

Q. My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out?

A. Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.

From: Mark Taylor [mtaylor@PureAtria.COM]
Subject: world standards day

No comment necessary:

"(T)he International Standards Organization (ISO) and the International Electrotechnical Commission (IEC) designated Oct. 14 as World Standards Day to recognize those volunteers who have worked hard to define international standards ... The United States celebrated World Standards Day on Oct. 11; Finland celebrated on Oct. 13; and Italy celebrated on Oct. 18."

- Open Systems Today, 10/31/94

Humorix The Hottest New Distribution LinuXXX

LAS VEGAS -- Described as the world's first "pornographic operating system," a new Linux distribution called LinuXXX was unveiled earlier today at a press conference in the lobby of a Las Vegas hotel. Sales of the distro have been... well, hot. read more

RFTP MAN PAGE

rtfm(l) UNIX Programmer's Manual rtfm(l)

Humorix/Slashdot Editors Promise To Actually Edit Stories Fake News written by James Baughn on April 1, 2005

HOLLAND, MICHIGAN -- The end is near. After defending wave after wave of criticism from the omnipresent Anonymous Coward, Taco Boy today announced that he and the rest of his staff will actually live up to their titles as "editors."

"I've always believed that 'editor' is simply another name for he-who-knows-the-root-password," Taco Boy wrote in his 6:32 AM CST Slashdot post. "Not anymore. I promise that things will start to change around here."

Read more...
Humorix/Russia Donates Cyrillic Characters To Alleviate Acronym Shortage Fake News written by James Baughn on January 29, 2005 from the esr-and-rms-unavailable-for-comment dept.

In an international gesture of goodwill, the Russian government announced last week that it will help fight the worsening SAS (Severe Acronym Shortage) by donating several Cyrillic characters, with more on the way.

"The acronym shortage could devastate the world economy if action is not taken soon," said a Russian government official. "The only solution is to increase the size of the alphabet available for acronyms."

The Blartner Group has been warning about the impending ASC (Acronym Shortage Crisis) since 2002. "Most acronyms are written by English speakers limited to a paltry 26-letter alphabet," Blort Blartner explained. "It's no surprise that ANCs (Acronym Namespace Collisions) are occuring at a rapidly increasing rate. This will place a huge burden on the IT industry by hindering communication, potentially leading to a rupture of the very fabric of the entire GE (Global Econony, not General Electric)."

In a recent survey by the American Association Against Acronym Abuse (AAAAA), 73% of people in computer-related fields admitted that they "had created an acronym within the last year that wasn't really necessary." Shockingly, 5% of participants acknowledged that they "might suffer an addiction to stringing new acronyms together as a form of entertainment."

Said the AAAAA chairwoman, "Russia's bold move will help to disambiguate some acronyms, but it doesn't solve the root problem: the AN (Acronym Namespace) is simply too polluted by UACs (Unnecessary Acronym Creators). IMHO, this situation will require drastic measures, such as the creation of an AEPB (Acronym Environmental Protection Bureau)."

However, the founder of the rival CNP (Coalition for Namespace Purity) argued, "Adding another bureaucracy never works. The new office will simply create a whole new regime of acronyms, such as requiring companies to submit an ACRF (Acronym Creation Request Form) and an EISFAC (Environment Impact Study For Acronym Creation) in the hopes of receiving an AACP (Approved Acronym Creation Permit)."

Last month, the Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF) formally adopted RFC 10523, which will require all future RFCs to limit new acronyms to one per document. "If a namespace collision in unavoidable," the RFC states, "then an attempt must be made to recycle obsolete acronyms first. If that fails, then the new acronym must undergo NSD (Numeric Suffix Disambiguation). For instance, Xtreme Programming should be called 'XP-1' in order to avoid confusion with Microsoft's Xceptionally Pathetic operating system (Windows XP)."

"The IETF needs to take full responsibility for the entire zoo of questionable acronyms that have been created by RFCs over the last decades," said one IETF participant. "It is imperative that we reuse archaic acronyms like 'UUCP' and 'ARCHIE' and assign them more productive meanings."

It isn't just the computer industry that faces a threat from the acronym shortage. The USAF (United States Air Force) has probably created more new acronyms than another other institution in history.

"This is no laughing matter," said a USAF PAO (Public Affairs Officer). "Last year we nearly suffered an SSS (Significant Security Situation) when an MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) was mistaken for an MRE (Massive Radioactive Explosive). This kind of problem could prove catastrophic in a combat situation."

The PAO added, "The Pentagon has already launched an ARC (Acronym Review Committee) to weed out ORAs (Obsolete or Redundant Acronyms). In addition, the entire US military will now encourage of the use of abbreviations instead of acronyms for CritOps (Critical Operations) and StratInts (Strategic Initiatives). While we appreciate the help offered by the Russian government, we believe we can solve this problem without the need to outsource our language."

[Jul 13, 2005] Grandma adopts Linux

"Hello my dear Linux friend,

"Thank you for developing this amazing desktop. I'll be the first to admit that I don't get out much out of Linux that my grandson installed for me. Because of my rheumatism and bursitis, I cannot use neither keyboard not mouse.

But still I'm very proud of my grandson and all of those brilliant computer people. Now I watch Linux more then TV. . I think people who write screen savers for Linux are absolutely amazing...!"

Slashdot Best Linux Security Books

Dude, get with the times (Score:1, Funny)
by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 08, @09:12PM (#13018242)
The current slashbot cheer is "use Ubuntu!"

Example usage:

Your mom: "When are you going to move out of our basement so your dad and I can build a sex dungeon down there?"

You: "Use Ubuntu!"

You're on the right track, though. This article had absolutely nothing to do with distribution selection and yet you felt compelled to get out your pom-poms and cheer for the flavor of the month. The only thing you did wrong was select last month's flavor.

Kudos to you, slashbot. Keep reaching for that rainbow!

Slashdot Debian Struggling With Security "News for herds" sometimes publish a pretty revealing comments. "Unfortunately Slashdot has an unending supply of new posters straight out of kindergarten who have no problems at all firmly believing in the rightness of double standards and the logic of conflicting axioms. ;-)

Re:Now If This Was Microsoft... (Score:5, Insightful)
by Brandybuck (704397) on Tuesday July 05, @06:11PM (#12989292)
(http://www.usermode.org/)
I'd just figure some people would grow up sooner or later.

Oh we do indeed grow up. Unfortunately Slashdot has an unending supply of new posters straight out of kindergarten who have no problems at all firmly believing in the rightness of double standards and the logic of conflicting axioms.

OSS graphoman.

It is a bit of a surprise that this useful expression of Greek origin has not entered the English language. A graphoman is someone who suffers from the disease of graphomania, an extreme obsession with writing without the commensurate and required talent that should accompany it.

Computer Quotes gathered on the Net

Slashdot Taking on an Online Extortionist

oblig Churchill (Score:5, Funny)
by isecore (132059) <[isecore] [at] [isecore.net]> on Wednesday May 04, @12:14PM (#12432550)
(http://www.isecore.net/)
"We will fight them in the CAT5, on the routers, in the packets. We will never surrender"

Or however he said it :)

Groklaw-style reporting parody:

Re:Sources ? (Score:5, Funny)
by born_to_live_forever (228372) on Sunday October 24, @08:37AM (#10613581)
(http://www.scholiast.org/)
Who needs sources, when you've biased reporting and scurrilous innuendo?

Milo Bloom: Senator? This is Milo Bloom at the Beacon. Will you confirm that you sunk Jimmy Hoffa in your backyard pond?
Senator Bedfellow: What? Of course not!
Milo: Fine. I'll go with "Sen. Bedfellow denies that pond is where he sunk Hoffa."
Bedfellow: That's not true!
Milo: Okay. "Bedfellow did sink Hoffa in pond".
Bedfellow: I don't know where Hoffa is!!
Milo: "'I lost the body' says Bedfellow."

Slashdot Sun's Schwartz Attacks GPL

Re:Spaceballs? (Score:5, Funny)
by Tackhead (54550) on Wednesday April 06, @12:11PM (#12155064)
MCNEALY: Yes. I am the keeper of a greater magic. A power known throughout the universe, known as....
ESR: Open Source?
MCNEALY: No. The Schwartz.
RMS: The Schwartz?
MCNEALY: Yes. The Schwartz. [He holds his Schwartz ring. His is different than the ring BILL GATES has.]
ESR: But, McNealy, what is this place? What is that you do here?
MCNEALY: Licensing.
ESR: Licensing? What's that? (Keep out of this, RMS!)
MCNEALY: Licensing. Come. I'll show. Walk this way. Take a look. We put the company's copyright on everything. Licensing. Licensing. Where the real money from the software is made. Sun-the-Server, Solaris-the Operating System, UltraSPARC-the Pizza box, Sun-the-dot-in-dot-com. (The analysts loved that one.) Last, but not least, Sun-the-Doll. Me!
[pulls on the string]
DOLL: "May the Schwartz be with you!"
MCNEALY: It ain't the Steve Ballmer Monkeyboy Dancebot, but it sells. May the Schwartz be with you!
Re:Poor baby. (Score:5, Funny)
by Shadow Wrought (586631) on Wednesday April 06, @11:56AM (#12154875)
(http://slashdot.org/~Shadow%20Wrought/journal | Last Journal: Tuesday April 05, @06:46PM)
Does anyone see some light at the end of the tunnel for Sun?

Netcraft just confirmed it. It's a train.

No worries. (Score:5, Funny)
by michael path (94586) on Wednesday April 06, @11:59AM (#12154917)
(http://www.indeterminism.org/ | Last Journal: Wednesday May 05, @11:46AM)
Our Schwartz is bigger than the Sun's.

Where is Transmeta Heading

OPEN LETTER TO SLASHDOT POSTERS
by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 02, @12:02PM (#12120215)
Why oh Why did everyone bitch because the admins posted a bunch of arguably lame april fools day articles? Can't you people lightin up for one day? Who cares if they post 100 stupid lame fake articles in a row, it's not going to affect the integrity of slashdot. Is this your only legitimate place for finding technology news? I hope not ! Does your hole life revolve around getting accurate technology news on one specific day of the year that happens to be a day where people play practical jokes? I hope not ! Slashdot does not publish their own content, they give links to other places. So don't take a few april fools jokes too seriously. If you really care that much goto a different website. Lightin up, have fun, stop complaining so much, and if you think someones taking a joke too far, let em! Just don't associate with them anymore, simple as that.

[Apr 1, 2005] Slashdot/Transmeta is suing Intel, IBM and AMD for violation of it's patents.

Commenting on the lawsuits Linus Torvalds noted :

"Why is everybody so concerned with Transmute suing some manufacturers? It is not suing every chip manufacturer in sight, just three of them. It did not become a patent whore! IP companies are not bad by definition. Just the contrary. And SCO is an exception! Even Rambus, is not the public enemy some open source enthusiasts are trying to turn it into. Maybe not all of their products are as good or as cheap as many would like them to be (including Rambus themselves), but at least the company is not in the business with groundless lawsuits. Ask yourselves should Transmeta benefit if CPU manufacturers (ie Intel, AMD, IBM) adopted the very good technologies, part of Crusoe and Efficeon processors (stuff like LongRun and LongRun2, you know).

Also please stop bitching that transmeta is reducing its workforce (mostly marketing people. It got a contract with Sony who will pay for the help of 100 of the about 200 engineers from Transmeta. This will reduce quarterly costs to $5 million and might increase Transmeta life expectancy"

Some Slashdot users disagreed:

A purely IP company, huh? (Score:5, Insightful)
by geminidomino (614729) * on Saturday April 02, @12:00PM (#12120208)
(http://www.mangaschool.com/ | Last Journal: Monday November 15, @11:06AM)
<MODE=cynical>

That would mean that it would be in their best interests to support stupid laws like copyright-until-the-heat-death-of-the-universe laws and software patents.

Kind of a delicious irony there... employing Linus and striving to hamstring Linux...

Re:Willies (Score:1)
by afd8856 (700296) on Saturday April 02, @12:34PM (#12120361)
Wouldn't it be cool if SCO buys (with MSFT money) Transmeta, and then they claim that Linus wrote, while at Transmeta, the linux kernel, so it's rightfully theirs? :-))

To Evil! March '05 Edition Open Source, Linux News & Software - OSDir.com Linux & Open Source News from Across the Community

Looking through the notes for Evilitude in the Year of Our Lord 2005, February Division, there's just one place where the dark clouds gather; one place that is gathering to its breast its orcish bot hoardes, and whose all seeing "Oooooooooooo"s span across our enshadowed domain.

Google. Google, O most cherished of those children of the Net currently incorporated in Delaware for tax purposes! How hast though fallen?

Ministry of Truth in Slashdot: disappearing critical posts: variant from Google cache contains two posts of the user Zocalo; variant from real site taken on Mon 21, 2005 contains just one (the second) post ;-)

Variant 1: Original Slashdot Open Source License Comparison (variant from Google cache contains two posts of the user Zocalo)

Re:Please help make it better -- don't just flame. (Score:1)
by Zocalo (252965) on Thursday August 16, @09:28AM (#2137042)
(http://www.zocalo.uk.com/)
The License Quick Ref is definitely a work in progress.

It's a bit brief too. There are a lot more licenses out there, most of which are described on the following three pages. (I've emailed this too).

  • http://www.softpanorama.org/Copyright/catalog_of_s oftware_licenses.shtml
  • http://www.eroj.org/linux/theory.htm
  • http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/license-list.html

Good idea, BTW.

Wait for the GPL vs BSD flame fest... (Score:1)
by Zocalo (252965) on Thursday August 16, @08:48AM (#2157886)
(http://www.zocalo.uk.com/)
I'll give it an hour. Max. USian's will all be in work soon...

I like the idea behind the chart though. Choosing a license is a personal thing, and after all, it's the developer's right to do what (s)he will with their own code isn't it? A simple chart like this should help people make a more informed choice.

It would be nice if it included a few more licenses though; there are what? Maybe 30 or more? Anyone have a list to send this guy?

Variant 2: with history rewritten Slashdot Open Source License Comparison (variant from real site Mon 21, 2005 contains just one (the second) post ;-)

Wait for the GPL vs BSD flame fest... (Score:1)
by Zocalo (252965) on Thursday August 16, @08:48AM (#2157886)
(http://www.zocalo.uk.com/)
I'll give it an hour. Max. USian's will all be in work soon...

I like the idea behind the chart though. Choosing a license is a personal thing, and after all, it's the developer's right to do what (s)he will with their own code isn't it? A simple chart like this should help people make a more informed choice.

It would be nice if it included a few more licenses though; there are what? Maybe 30 or more? Anyone have a list to send this guy?

Hello and welcome to (programmers) mental health hotline......

Slashdot RMS Blasts Sun's Open Source Patent Licensing

uh-oh (Score:5, Funny)
by revery (456516) <charles AT cac2 DOT net> on Monday January 31, @04:33PM (#11532696)
(http://www.livejournal.com/users/gymbrall/)
RMS takes Sun to task...

Later on, he gave IBM a stern talking to, and then towards the end of the article, he gave Microsoft a vigorous tongue lashing. Also, mosquitos, as a species, were maligned.

Seriously guys, the trash talk is getting embarrassing...

The world of Richard Stallman (Score:3, Interesting)
by wheelbarrow (811145) on Monday January 31, @04:34PM (#11532725)
I have no problem with the world according to Richard Stallman as long as compliance is voluntary.
So RMS, (Score:0)
by wramsdel (463149) on Monday January 31, @04:49PM (#11532972)
How many teeth in that gift horse's mouth?
Another dirty Sun trick. (Score:1, Interesting)
by Anonymous Coward on Monday January 31, @05:07PM (#11533280)
There it goes...I have been saying it all along. Sun has always been untrustworthy. Take NFS for example. Didn't they do that dirty trick of releasing the NFS specs only to sue everybody else that implemented the protocol? Or what about Star Division? They bought out that poor company only to distribute its product under the dubious OpenOffice guise. And what about the dirty money they have dumped into Gnome and X.Org? Yet another trick to infiltrate the opensource community with patent ridden software! But with this disgusting CDDL (which was approved by that evil OSI -- obviously they got kickbacks) the cup has runeth over. It is clear that Sun is trying to infiltrate the open source community with their evil patents as they have done dozens of times before. So, I propose:

1)Everybody stop using NFS. If it comes from Sun, it can't be good.
2)Dump OpenOffice now! It is just another Trojan horse of theirs.
3)Dump GNOME! Besides, when there is KDE, who needs it?
4)Dump X.Org. It has been touched by evil. Can't be too careful with these matters.
5)Do not write applications using Java. Java is evil. There are god knows how many of these no-good Sun patents in there. Sun can pull the carpet under your feet at any time.
6)Burn every machine that has this despicable Sun logo on it. It may infect your trustworthy Intel and IBM servers which have served you so well in the past.

Slashdot Which Linux for Professional Admins A nice template of typical Linux enthusiast distribution comparison is reproduced below (some typical religious style arguments were probably omitted for brevity, or the author was an atheist ;-)

Re:To put it short (Score:5, Funny)
by eln (21727) on Monday January 31, @05:12PM (#11533388)
Wrong! My distribution of choice is superior in every way to your pathetic distribution of choice. You are the lowest form of loser to think that your worthless distribution could hold a candle to the God-like superiority of my distribution.

My distribution's superiority is clearly demonstrated by it's magnificent out-of-the box handling of my obscure feature of choice. Your pathetic distribution doesn't even support my obscure feature of choice without a course of action so complex that it's madness to even contemplate it.

Clearly, my distribution of choice will utterly destroy your distribution of choice. This is so certain it is pointless for you to resist it.

Please, flame away (Score:5, Funny)
by Raunch (191457) on Monday January 31, @05:05PM (#11533240)
(http://www.honnecke.us/)
Read no further. Without having to read the reast of these posts; you can get a sense of what is to come here, and hopefully avoid some painful reading:
"I like A".
"I like B".
"A sucks and so does your mom".

PS. Apt-get rules.

Unix Recovery

UNIX RECOVERY (Score:1)
by Overdrive Trucking (171212) on Tuesday April 04, @11:37AM (#1152193)
Help is available! Desperate? Lonely? Confused? You can recover from UNIX, and you don't have to do it alone.

Humberto Molena Rodriguez, Press Officer

Slashdot/Linux Getting Harder To Crack

Work hard for the Linus Force! (Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday January 18, @12:19AM (#11392413)
Join the Linus Force to better the Linux Dream!!! Work free, get lots of kudos, and be with the mighty spirit. Don't worry others will benefit financially from your efforts, even if you do. Don't let the Dream down!!!
Re:Owned? (Score:4, Funny)
by Master of Transhuman (597628) on Tuesday January 18, @12:07AM (#11392355)
How about "pawned"?

Since none of the /. nerd-boys can afford to actually BUY a computer since they're spending too much time on /. instead of working for a living...

(I can't wait for the "What's YOUR excuse?" responses...)

In other news... (Score:5, Funny)
by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday January 04, @09:28PM (#11260399)
85% of Slashdot users use windows, and 60% still use internet explorer.

Java Forums - OT java.sun.com not accessible for hours

Eric S. Raymond.

A rather vocal proponent of Linux and related open source systems, with the basic message that "open source = good, anything else = evil". To "support" his views, uses rhetoric (and sports a personality) that is a bit incompatible with, and causes much eye-rolling in, a number of other members of H.Sapiens. Also lends his name to the term [url=http://www.softpanorama.org/OSS/Bla_faq/raymondism.shtml] Raymondism[/url].

Continued...



Etc

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