Softpanorama

May the source be with you, but remember the KISS principle ;-)
Contents Bulletin Scripting in shell and Perl Network troubleshooting History Humor

Best Russian Programmer Humor

News Recommended Links Classic Computer Humor Russian programmers  IT Slacker Manifest The Cuckoo's Egg Americanized Russian Programmer
Humor Chronicle RMS Linus Torvalds Larry Wall & Perl Top 10 Classic Unix Humor Softpanorama Humor Archive GPL
 C C++ Assembler Perl Shell Java Debugging
Admin Algorithms  Networking Solaris Scripting Linux Editors
skeptical humor OFM Humor   SE   vi Viruses Eric Raymond Etc

NEWS CONTENTS

Old News ;-)

Russian programmers vodka bottles classification:

0.1 (100 gr) - demo
0.25 (250 gr) - trial version
0.5 - Personal edition
0.75 - Professional edition
1.0 - Network edition
1.75 -Large area network edition
3.0 - Small Business edition
5.0 - Corporate edition

Poor man robotic arm

One old but very important for the organization server used to hang periodically and nobody was able to determine why. So it needs to be rebooted. It was a really old server without "wake on LAN", DRAC or other remote control cards. So one Russian guy has found the following solution: mount a mini Dell desktop on the same level as the server opposite to the reset button, install Linux on it and wrote a script which when server stopped to respond opens CD-ROM drive with eject command.

Then he drilled a tiny hole and put a small screw in the server reset button so that it stick out and positioned Dell mini-desktop in such a way that when CD-ROM opens, the door presses the reset button on the server which needs to be rebooted.

Norton Commander related Humor:

Due to tremendous popularity in the USSR, Norton Commander used to become almost a "native" feature of DOS environment and also has some cultural influences. First of all the word "Norton" became almost synonym to orthodox file manager in Russian language. It also generated an elaborate series of computer humor stories like the story of conflict between Norton Commander and Digger (an addictive DOS game):

"You eat too long and way too much private Digger ! ... "

Another example is the Norton Commander speech to the DOS faithful in the face of growing number of Windows defectors (imitates arcane style of Politburo's announcements (note the terms "false values", "our enemies" which were used by Soviet propaganda machine as often as democracy and terrorists are used in US propaganda))

"Comrades, we should reject false values which are instilled by our enemies! The fact that a Windows GUI user is happier than a command line user is similar to the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one..."

and about the incompatibility of Norton Commander and alcohol (which is probably the best one of the series):

A drunk programmer is sitting behind the computer with Norton Commander on the screen. Both left and right panel displays the content of disk C:. "Why do I need two disks C: with exactly the same files?" thinks the drunk, it's only waste of disk space. Then he selects all the files and directories on the active panel and clicks F8.

Here is the actual entry from one of the freshman quizzes submitted to me on the first lab for the "Introduction to computing " course in Kiev University of Commerce and Economics (which at this point replaced Norton Commander with Volkov Commander as a standard shell in all computer labs in 1992-1994):

Q: What is the name of OS in which you performed the assignment?

A: Volkov Commander.

Recommended Links

Softpanorama hot topic of the month

Softpanorama Recommended

Etc



Etc

FAIR USE NOTICE This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit exclusivly for research and educational purposes.   If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. 

ABUSE: IPs or network segments from which we detect a stream of probes might be blocked for no less then 90 days. Multiple types of probes increase this period.  

Society

Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers :   Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism  : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy

Quotes

War and Peace : Skeptical Finance : John Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand : Oscar Wilde : Otto Von Bismarck : Keynes : George Carlin : Skeptics : Propaganda  : SE quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes : Random IT-related quotesSomerset Maugham : Marcus Aurelius : Kurt Vonnegut : Eric Hoffer : Winston Churchill : Napoleon Bonaparte : Ambrose BierceBernard Shaw : Mark Twain Quotes

Bulletin:

Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 :  Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method  : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law

History:

Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds  : Larry Wall  : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOSProgramming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC developmentScripting Languages : Perl history   : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history

Classic books:

The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-MonthHow to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Haterís Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite

Most popular humor pages:

Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor

The Last but not Least


Copyright © 1996-2016 by Dr. Nikolai Bezroukov. www.softpanorama.org was created as a service to the UN Sustainable Development Networking Programme (SDNP) in the author free time. This document is an industrial compilation designed and created exclusively for educational use and is distributed under the Softpanorama Content License.

The site uses AdSense so you need to be aware of Google privacy policy. You you do not want to be tracked by Google please disable Javascript for this site. This site is perfectly usable without Javascript.

Original materials copyright belong to respective owners. Quotes are made for educational purposes only in compliance with the fair use doctrine.

FAIR USE NOTICE This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to advance understanding of computer science, IT technology, economic, scientific, and social issues. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided by section 107 of the US Copyright Law according to which such material can be distributed without profit exclusively for research and educational purposes.

This is a Spartan WHYFF (We Help You For Free) site written by people for whom English is not a native language. Grammar and spelling errors should be expected. The site contain some broken links as it develops like a living tree...

You can use PayPal to make a contribution, supporting development of this site and speed up access. In case softpanorama.org is down you can use the at softpanorama.info

Disclaimer:

The statements, views and opinions presented on this web page are those of the author (or referenced source) and are not endorsed by, nor do they necessarily reflect, the opinions of the author present and former employers, SDNP or any other organization the author may be associated with. We do not warrant the correctness of the information provided or its fitness for any purpose.

Created June 1, 1998; Last modified: February 11, 2017