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Politically Incorrect Humor

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George Carlin Bill Maher Skeptic Quotations Humor Etc

Among classic examples of American political humor are the following George Gavlin performances:

Some not bad examples from Comedy Central (especially apt "Bullsh**t Mountain characterization of Fox network by Jon Steward):

Here is a nice anti-NSA cartoon by Martin Kozlowski, WSJ


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Old News ;-)

[Apr 23, 2018] Sentence First, Verdict After

See BBC interview . One really good sarcasm from Lavrov. Sergey Lavrov comperating UK beahviour with the famous Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland episode in order to describe the new western 'weird logic' of 'Sentence First, Verdict After' has to be watched repeatedly by all...what a masterful HardTalk show...exposing the new bench mark in western international discourse.
Sergey Lavrov: No, I said "highly likely" as a new invention of the British diplomacy to describe why they punish people – because these people are highly likely guilty, like in Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll - when he described a trial. And when they discovered that the jury could be engaged, then the King said "Let's ask the jury" and the Queen shouted "No jury! Sentence first – verdict afterwards." That's the logic of "highly likely".
Question: Have you got one shred, shred of evidence to suggest British intelligence tried to kill Sergei Skripal?
Sergey Lavrov: There is an old Roman criteria "who is to benefit". The UK is grossly benefiting from the provocations both in Syria and in the United Kingdom itself.
Sergey Lavrov: That's a problem. First, the A-234 agent in highly pure form in high concentration is already raising suspicions.
Question: It came from Russia. In the former Soviet Union, you invented that.
Sergey Lavrov: Stephen, you are not factual. You may be hard talking, but you are not listening. This chemical substance indeed was invented in the Soviet Union, then one the inventors fled to the United States and made the formula public. And if you want to check before raising the issue, please do so, the United States patented this formula; and it was formally taken by United States special services or the army, I don't remember. But A-234 is a very light, I mean, it seriously damages a person, kills him of her, but it evaporates very fast; and the sample taken two weeks after the event cannot, according to our scientists, contain very high concentration.
Notable quotes:
"... 'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first -- verdict afterwards.' ..."
Apr 23, 2018 | adelaide.edu.au

'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first -- verdict afterwards.'

'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the sentence first!'

'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.

'I won't!' said Alice.

'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.

'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'

[Apr 22, 2018] Trump is pure schadenfreude

Notable quotes:
"... give the Orange One some credit: he was a wrecking ball to the stagnant, hideous Clinton and Bush dynasties. He has also driven the DC establishment and media insane. Pure schadenfreude. ..."
Apr 22, 2018 | www.unz.com

SunBakedSuburb , April 22, 2018 at 5:15 pm GMT

" Russia and China have adult leadership."

They are also non-democratic, authoritarian regimes.

"By contrast, Trump is a loon, ignorant of practically everything, mentally chaotic, and easily modified."

That's all true, especially the last bit. But give the Orange One some credit: he was a wrecking ball to the stagnant, hideous Clinton and Bush dynasties. He has also driven the DC establishment and media insane. Pure schadenfreude.

[Apr 20, 2018] That is why Tony Blair, Jack Straw and Alistair Campbell fought so hard to oppose invasion of Iraq. I feel terrible for them

Apr 20, 2018 | discussion.theguardian.com

ID3052003 , 13 Apr 2018 14:11

"Trump is a congenital liar who is devoid of empathy, a narcissist with a nihilist's view of the world. These are not mere character defects; they have a bearing on the decisions the de facto leader of any action in Syria would take. Among the reasons I opposed the 2003 invasion of Iraq was my fundamental distrust of George W Bush and his circle, especially on the matter of motive. "

That is why Tony Blair, Jack Straw and Alistair Campbell fought so hard to oppose invasion of Iraq. In the end they had to resort an academic paper to do it. I feel terrible for them.

[Apr 19, 2018] You forgot the man of exemplary truthfulness: Colin Powell with his vial at the UN. That became a meme.

Notable quotes:
"... You forgot the man of exemplary truthfulness: Colin Powell with his vial at the UN. That became a meme. ..."
Apr 19, 2018 | www.unz.com

AnonFromTN , April 19, 2018 at 1:25 am GMT

Why are many commenters so excited? Everything is appropriate: fake missile strike in response to fake chemical weapons use.
AnonFromTN , April 19, 2018 at 1:31 am GMT
@FB

You forgot the man of exemplary truthfulness: Colin Powell with his vial at the UN. That became a meme.

[Apr 19, 2018] Trump is a typical business tycoon: a clueless moron. Pence is just a weasel

Apr 19, 2018 | www.unz.com

AnonFromTN , April 19, 2018 at 3:09 am GMT

@anon

Trump is a typical business tycoon: a clueless moron. Pence is just a weasel. Weasels are carnivores, but small ones: sometimes they eat, sometimes they get eaten. I hope Pence gets eaten.

[Apr 19, 2018] New Trump reality show: A fake response to a fake gas attack with fake WMDs

Apr 19, 2018 | www.unz.com

m.a. kaiser , April 18, 2018 at 9:20 pm GMT

Trust a reality show star to do this one right, LOL. All theatrics, nothing concrete in the whole situation. Just a lot of American fireworks.

[Apr 19, 2018] You can't make it up: Oklahoma congressman Steve Russell told the C Span Washington Journal audience this morning that there was "no danger from a chemical plume" after missiles struck Syrian chemical plants "because the attack was designed to burn up" the fumes.

This even better then Onion
Apr 19, 2018 | www.unz.com

SolontoCroesus , April 19, 2018 at 12:58 am GMT

@Zogby

In response to a caller's concern, Oklahoma congressman Steve Russell told the C Span Washington Journal audience this morning that there was "no danger from a chemical plume" after missiles struck Syrian chemical plants "because the attack was designed to burn up" the fumes.

Russell explained that while "Nazis used chemicals in the holocaust." and Russians deliberately target hospitals and schools with barrel bombs, "no other nation takes as much care to prevent harm to civilians" as the USA.

https://www.c-span.org/video/?444201-5/washington-journal-representative-steve-russell-r-ok-discusses-congress-role-syria-conflict

Except maybe Fallujah.
And Vietnam.
Little bit in North Korea.
Some slip-ups over Hiroshima & Nagasaki.

[Apr 18, 2018] Catch 22 in Douma false flag

Apr 18, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Anon | Apr 18, 2018 4:10:40 AM | 103

So what will happen now?

... ... ...

[Apr 18, 2018] A small problem with Saudi Prince promise to send troops in Syria: approximately 70% of Saudi troops would defect to ISIS in no time!

Apr 18, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Tom | Apr 17, 2018 11:48:43 PM | 151

#111 and #144. Saud Arabia already have "troops" in Syria, Jaysh al-Islam and the rest of their inbred motley crew. That's the problem. If that happens, poor Kurds, stuck between rock and a hard place. My bet is that 70% of Saudi troops would defect to ISIS in no time!

[Apr 18, 2018] British government humor: what take us in Salisbury million of pound and several months Russians can do in Douma in one day

Apr 18, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Posted by: Tom | Apr 17, 2018 11:35:38 PM | 14 8

I saw an interesting tweet over at Charles Shoebridge. " To be clear, I don't dispute that as UK govt says cleaning up nerve agent may 'cost millions and take months'. But I do dispute that the same UK govt and media saying this can also with any consistency then suggest Russia has cleaned up Douma in just a few days. Jihadists claim that sarin was used as well as chlorine.

[Apr 16, 2018] Why democratic party is better then Republican in the USA

Apr 16, 2018 | caucus99percent.com

"The Democratic Party is better than the Republican Party in the way that manslaughter is slightly better than murder: It might seem like a lesser crime, but the victim can't really tell the difference." -- Michael Harriot

[Apr 16, 2018] Pentagon goes full stupid on Russiagate

2,000% increase of Russian trolls? Did this information come from Hamilton 68?
Apr 16, 2018 | caucus99percent.com
gjohnsit on Sat, 04/14/2018 - 10:25pm

There's been a whole lot of stupid put out about ScaryRussia in the last two years, but the Pentagon managed to find a new level of stupid today that I didn't know existed.

You know how they say that 97.3% of all statistics are made up?

This is one of them.

"I think there's a basic reality check you can do on most statistical claims," Tim Hartford, host of statistics podcast More or Less, told Vice. "You can just ask: Does that sound reasonable? ... OK, so first, if you've been given a number, just ask: compared to what? ... The second thing is -- what does the statistic actually refer to?"

2,000% 2,000,000%

The numbers are as meaningless as Pentagon body counts in Vietnam.

[Apr 16, 2018] Paul Craig Roberts Has One Awkward Question For Washington Warmongers: if sites attacked store poison gasses why they were not released and everybody around killed

Notable quotes:
"... American tomahawks missiles are equipped with 'special' molecular compounds imbedded in the warheads so that when they hit chemical weapons factories it produces & releases an intoxicating floral bouquet like Chanel number 5, Old Spice, or Irish Spring soap... ..."
Apr 16, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

prymythirdeye -> BennyBoy Mon, 04/16/2018 - 13:10 Permalink

Pentagon Says Syria Strikes Hit 'Heart' of Chemical Weapons Program

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/14/world/middleeast/syria-airstrikes-an

"Warplanes and ships from the United States, Britain and France launched more than 100 missiles at three chemical weapons storage and research facilities..." ...

DillyDilly -> BennyBoy Mon, 04/16/2018 - 12:54 Permalink

American tomahawks missiles are equipped with 'special' molecular compounds imbedded in the warheads so that when they hit chemical weapons factories it produces & releases an intoxicating floral bouquet like Chanel number 5, Old Spice, or Irish Spring soap...

The Syrians then jump up and start doing Irish jigs and proclaim "Manly yes ~ But I like it too"!

chunga -> Pearson365 Mon, 04/16/2018 - 12:38 Permalink

And everybody know US weapons are so smart they keep those components separated when they explode.

kbohip Mon, 04/16/2018 - 12:52 Permalink

That dastardly Assad obviously knew his chemical weapons facilities would be attacked so he had all of his chlorine gas moved and added to his personal swimming pool. Damn the water looks great now but don't go for a swim for at least a few days.

[Apr 15, 2018] A nice justification of attack on Syria -- vital national interest (read the urgent need to hide sexual escapades of POTUS)

The attack can be called "Operation Stormy Daniels" Rome had bread and circuses. We've got crumbs, tweets, and Tomahawk missiles with direct TV coverage. Monica probably is crying for the day on old glory in Clinton Whitehouse ;-)
In other words: "Candidate Trump is dead. Long live President Trump" ~The Neocons. Notable quotes:
"... I think I will walk over to my neighbour and de declare his house and car and wife a "vital national interest" and see what happens..... ..."
Apr 15, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org
VW Nerd Sun, 04/15/2018 - 21:48 Permalink

I love the smell of unprovoked missile attacks and sanctions in the morning. Reminds me of........desperation.

mali , Apr 15, 2018 1:27:05 PM | 36

I think I will walk over to my neighbour and de declare his house and car and wife a "vital national interest" and see what happens.....

Posted by: Den Lille Abe | Apr 15, 2018 11:47:26 AM | 15
---------------------------------------------------------
LOL

D.T.Barnum rphb Sun, 04/15/2018 - 16:53 Permalink

The psychological abuse of the Trump Regime, gas(lighting) the population every morning from his 24k golden toilet.

It's trauma based mind control. The CIA is probably tweeting for him.

[Apr 12, 2018] Trump is not playing four-dimensional chess, he's losing at tic-tac-toe. It's not genius, it's dementia..

Monica Lewinsky redux ? Trump is not right any more than a man who pulls the trigger once in a game of Russian Roulette and gets away with it was "right".
Notable quotes:
"... Taunting the Russians via Twitter? It's not genius, it's dementia. ..."
Apr 12, 2018 | turcopolier.typepad.com
BradleyKSherman, 14 hours ago
Trump's only goal is to keep his name in the headlines. He's not playing four-dimensional chess, he's losing at tic-tac-toe.

Taunting the Russians via Twitter? It's not genius, it's dementia.

[Apr 10, 2018] Trump orders cruise missile strike against one of 3,297 factions fighting in Syria

Apr 10, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Don Bacon | Apr 10, 2018 9:03:38 PM | 63

from The Duffel Blog...
Trump orders cruise missile strike against one of 3,297 factions fighting in Syria

WASHINGTON -- President Donald Trump ordered a Tomahawk cruise military strike against one of the 3,297 factions currently fighting in the Syrian civil war, sources confirmed today.

Just days after the Syrian government, one of the thousands of rebel groups, or al Qaeda terrorists allegedly bombed civilians with chemical weapons, Trump and his military planners launched missiles after mulling options that could potentially punish the perpetrators of such a war crime.
"Everything is on the table," Trump told reporters onboard Air Force One on Wednesday. "We're pretty sure it's Assad who carried out this egregious attack. That's what my so-called intelligence agencies are telling me. But they told me stuff about Russia, and that was fake news, fake, fake news, so I'm not sure. I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to do something. Something."

"I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do, because we want ISIS to be surprised by a sneak attack," he added. . . here

[Apr 10, 2018] This vain, jingoistic narcissist Trump might be accidentally right about Assad

Notable quotes:
"... Assad means lion, so maybe it was a compliment. ..."
Apr 10, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

hopehely | Apr 10, 2018 2:49:57 PM | 11

Trump sinking so low he called his colleague Assad an animal.
Assad means lion, so maybe it was a compliment.

[Apr 09, 2018] "His inadequacies are easily stroked." I think Stormy Daniels would concur

Notable quotes:
"... Concur. Clinton is sociopathic. Trump is narcissistic. The Deep State uses both. The former willing tool, she cares nothing for anyone but herself. The latter, the psychologists in CIA have his profile and manipulate him like a woman with a velvet glove. His inadequacies are easily stroked. ..."
Apr 09, 2018 | thesaker.is

Larchmonter445 on April 09, 2018 , · at 7:35 am UTC

Concur. Clinton is sociopathic. Trump is narcissistic. The Deep State uses both. The former willing tool, she cares nothing for anyone but herself. The latter, the psychologists in CIA have his profile and manipulate him like a woman with a velvet glove. His inadequacies are easily stroked.
Ahmed on April 09, 2018 , · at 11:05 am UTC
Larchmonter -- "His inadequacies are easily stroked." lol I think Stormy Daniels would concur.

[Apr 09, 2018] Portonblimp Down Episode 2 - A Tale By Boris Johnson - Craig Murray

Apr 09, 2018 | craigmurray.org.uk

"Comrade Putin, we have successfully stockpiled novichoks in secret for ten years, and kept them hidden from the OPCW inspectors. We have also trained our agents in secret novichok assassination techniques. The programme has cost hundreds of millions of dollars, but now we are ready. Naturally, the first time we use it we will expose our secret and suffer massive international blowback. So who should be our first target? The head of a foreign intelligence agency? A leading jihadist rebel in Syria? A key nuclear scientist? Even a Head of State?"

"No, Tovarich. There is this old retired guy I know living in Salisbury. We released him from jail years ago "

"With respect Comrade Putin, are you sure he is the most important target to reveal a programme we have put so much resource into for ten years?"

"Yes. I sit here every day and I cannot concentrate on the affairs of Russia or the World as all the time am thinking of Sergei Skripal. I should never have let him out of jail to spend his life buying lottery tickets and eating in Zizzis. But you must make absolutely certain to kill him."

"Don't worry Comrade Putin, we have been training in secret novichok assassination techniques for ten years. We even have an detailed manual explaining our methods. We will spread the novichok on his outside door handle (fiendish laugh)."

"Are you sure comrade? Is there not a danger it will wash off or get diluted?"

"No Comrade Putin, it never rains in England."

That is, genuinely, in every detail the official British government version of what happened in Salisbury, including the ten year programme and the secret assassination manual.

Despite this story being one of the most improbably wild conspiracy theories in human history, it is those who express any doubt at all as to its veracity who are smeared as "conspiracy theorists" or even "traitors".

All copyright on this article is waived. Feel free to use, translate and republish as you wish.

[Apr 08, 2018] Prime Minister May is seen at around beating the cat against a wall.

Apr 08, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Posted by: librul | Apr 7, 2018 9:05:48 AM | 4

Prime Minister May is seen at around the 0:40 (depending upon clip version) mark beating the cat against a wall.

Also, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g is the "Burn the Witch" scene. With Putin as the witch it is a fair representation of the type of justice and deep thought applied to the Skripal case.

mike k , Apr 7, 2018 9:30:10 AM | 6
First as tragedy, then as farce.......
Saul , Apr 7, 2018 10:00:16 AM | 7
Reminds me of the Monty Python dead parrot sketch...

[Apr 07, 2018] The newest theory: novichok was produced in Tehran and delivered by an Iranian agent, Persian cat who was owned by Sergey Skripal

Notable quotes:
"... Thus the cat met poetic justice, while the hapless Guinea pigs were collateral damage. ..."
"... Those gerbils should be autopsied to make sure they didn't die from some sexual perversion. It is Britain after all. ..."
Apr 07, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Piotr Berman , Apr 7, 2018 3:15:30 AM | 88

The newest theory: novichok was produced in Tehran and delivered by an Iranian agent, Persian cat who was owned by Sergey Skripal. The cat was allowed to periodically leave home for walks and got the poison from other Persians. As UK authorities decided to pin the blame on Russia (they actually oppose the renewal of sanctions on Iran but want to extend sanctions on Russia), the inconvenient witness was liquidated.

The intricate plot was to cover the palms of gloves of Mrs. Skripal so the father-daughter pair would get into contact with the poison misleadingly far from home. The door handle got contaminated by a gloved hand of Yulia. Later, when the pair sat on a bench after their meal, father complemented the brand new gloves and Yulia handed them to him for a closer look. As both handled the poisoned surface with bare hands, the onset of symptoms was swift.

I posted this theory, without the role of Persian cat mafia earlier elsewhere. It is easy to explain how car avoided contamination: Sergey locked the seatbelt of Yulia and she set like a proper young lady, with hands on her lap with gently curved fingers. It is harder to explain how the gloves eventually vanished, but cats that were observing Skripals could remove them from the scene and drop into the nearby Avon river.

Thus the cat met poetic justice, while the hapless Guinea pigs were collateral damage.

par4 | Apr 7, 2018 7:49:19 AM | 113
Those gerbils should be autopsied to make sure they didn't die from some sexual perversion. It is Britain after all.

[Apr 07, 2018] Skripals' Last Restaurant Order Not Released by UK, Niece Tells Russian TV

Notable quotes:
"... ++ Joseph Magill #22. That is one of my surmises too. She just picked up a bundle of cash from her deceased brother's estate too as I read somewhere. There is no doubt a price to pay to take the cash back to Russia and for wee bit of play acting she could stay with the dad in UK. Perhaps she will get a job with SCL/Cambridge Analytica too. All surmise though. When I last checked May and her manbag Boris have finally lured Jeremy Corbyn into the sights. I guess that was one of the intentions all along and well worth any price for them. ..."
"... Listening to lies , propaganda for many, many years as soon as I heard the Skripal affair I smelled the rat-false flag. Governments unfortunately kill, lie. ..."
Apr 07, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

somebody , Apr 7, 2018 5:30:30 AM | 106

BM , Apr 7, 2018 5:39:10 AM | 107
Days ago, before the poisoning theories surfaced, I read at Sputniknews Yulia's first statement was "it didn't taste like chicken."
Posted by: Likklemore | Apr 6, 2018 9:21:21 PM | 52

Are you sure about that? I saw that claim, but on some blog not on Sputnik and I understood it to be the blog-owner's sarcasm. A search produced no Sputnik page with that quote - on the contrary a claim that the menu choice had not been released. Some UK Newspapers claimed they ate the seafood but this could easily be deliberately planted misinformation.
Skripals' Last Restaurant Order Not Released by UK, Niece Tells Russian TV - Sputnik International

NS , Apr 7, 2018 6:03:23 AM | 108

Saxitoxin which can be produced in shell fish has similar effects as nerve agents https://emergency.cdc.gov/agent/nerve/tsd.asp

Considered in syndromal or functional terms it could therefore be considered a 'closely related agent' to an organophosphate based nerve agent. It is listed alongside OP agents as a nervous system agent here: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ana.21072

Also see here https://emergency.cdc.gov/agent/saxitoxin/casedef.aspCase
Definition: Saxitoxin
Clinical description
. In severe poisoning, illness typically progresses rapidly and may include gastrointestinal (nausea, vomiting) and neurological (cranial nerve dysfunction, a floating sensation, headache, muscle weakness, parasthesias and vertigo) signs and symptoms. Respiratory failure and death can occur from paralysis (1-5).

So accordingly, shellfish poisoning could be consistent with this: "The samples tested positive for the presence of a Novichok class nerve agent or closely related agent."
When 'closely related agent' is understood as pertaining to a syndromal classification rather than a chemical group.

Formerly T-Bear , Apr 7, 2018 6:07:32 AM | 109
Having read only about a third of the commentariat, what has been obvious to this point is the food poisoning theory is appearing to be another echo chamber. Even global warming is not enough to overcome the adage of only eating shellfish caught in months having an 'R', like in MaRch (though this may not apply in the Russian language - having no familiarity with Russian). Are those suggesting those alleged shellfish were caught the prior August? Unlikely. There are two separate metabolisms, differing stomach contents, body masses, and body compositions (fat components) in addition to differing ages and sexes. What would the likelihood that food poisoning would happen at a similar moment with both?

Again the most likely cause would be a voluntary ingestion of some street drug by both victims, such consumption isn't something rarely known, even in those parts of the world. No evidence has been presented to either substantiate or disprove this, nonetheless this provides the simplest vehicle for the two as well as a possible vector for the Detective Sergeant poisoning as a first responder. Recall this happened on a Sunday afternoon, the DS has not been established to be on duty that day or not; either way the presence of trained CPR personnel would have resulted in the same response, going to aid persons in distress - no mystery that. I suspect the time of recovery of the affected had a lot to do with the rate of clearance of the substance from the bodies of the victims to levels difficult to detect. Again supposition and conjecture seem to rule the public dialogue, and evidence is remarkably missing still. YMMV

uncle tungsten , Apr 7, 2018 6:14:30 AM | 111
++ Joseph Magill #22. That is one of my surmises too. She just picked up a bundle of cash from her deceased brother's estate too as I read somewhere. There is no doubt a price to pay to take the cash back to Russia and for wee bit of play acting she could stay with the dad in UK. Perhaps she will get a job with SCL/Cambridge Analytica too. All surmise though. When I last checked May and her manbag Boris have finally lured Jeremy Corbyn into the sights. I guess that was one of the intentions all along and well worth any price for them.

Time will tell.

Friar Ockham , Apr 7, 2018 7:04:12 AM | 112
Listening to lies , propaganda for many, many years as soon as I heard the Skripal affair I smelled the rat-false flag. Governments unfortunately kill, lie.

Here I see unnecessary provocation which could lead to war, as it was unfolding in Syria. We are all in danger from stupid politicians.

[Apr 03, 2018] Belarus Expels Moscow Diplomats 'Leading Russia Expert' Falls for Cheeky April Fool's Joke

With such "leading experts"...
Someone should tell Elliot Higgins over at Bellingcat that if he's been trying to geolocate the expelled Russian diplomats in Belarus , he can stop now.
Notable quotes:
"... "leading specialist" ..."
Apr 03, 2018 | russia-insider.com

Anders Aslund's deep knowledge of Eastern European politics was no match for April Fool's, when the supposedly all-knowing Russia commentator fruitlessly cheered fake news about Belarus expelling Russian diplomats.

Aslund, who was presented by the American think tank the Atlantic Council as a "leading specialist" on Russian economic policy and Eastern Europe in general, has been featured on the BBC, CNN and the Washington Post as a commentator on Russian President Vladimir Putin's administration.

The prank was carried out by Martin Kragh, of the Swedish Institute of International Affairs, who tweeted: "Breaking: Belarus expels 5 Russian diplomats in solidarity with the UK. 'Russia is on the wrong side of history,' says [President Aleksandr] Lukashenko."

Aslund even commentated on the 'development,' stating that it revealed how Putin had "profoundly" isolated his country. "This is not 'Global Russia' but Russia alone," he added.

Kragh later revealed his tweet to be a prank by alluding to the date it was posted - April 1st - a day for playing practical jokes and spreading hoaxes.

[Apr 02, 2018] Belarus Expels Moscow Diplomats 'Leading Russia Expert' Falls for Cheeky April Fool's Joke

With such "leading experts"...
Notable quotes:
"... "leading specialist" ..."
Apr 02, 2018 | russia-insider.com

Anders Aslund's deep knowledge of Eastern European politics was no match for April Fool's, when the supposedly all-knowing Russia commentator fruitlessly cheered fake news about Belarus expelling Russian diplomats.

Aslund, who was presented by the American think tank the Atlantic Council as a "leading specialist" on Russian economic policy and Eastern Europe in general, has been featured on the BBC, CNN and the Washington Post as a commentator on Russian President Vladimir Putin's administration.

[Apr 01, 2018] The ideal scenario of Skripal resurrection

Apr 01, 2018 | www.unz.com

macavitycat , March 31, 2018 at 2:26 pm GMT

The ideal scenario:

The elder Skripal awakes, tells nurses he is tired of hospital; walks out to find nearest press mike, tells world Russia had nothing to do with it, just bad food at a Chinese restaurant!

[Apr 01, 2018] Check out this wonderful chart presented to the public by "Her Majesty's government" entitled "A long pattern of Russian malign activity"

This slide is a good April 1 joke, courtesy of Her majesty government on Theresa May. By the way, I've heard the Russians are now telling a joke about Boris Johnson: they're saying he was poisoned with durachok (bonehead)! but many be he is playing fool, with vicious and calculated intention
Notable quotes:
"... All that is missing here is the mass rape of baby penguins by drunken Russian sailors in the south pole or the use of a secret "weather weapon" to send hurricanes towards the USA. ..."
Apr 01, 2018 | www.unz.com

In the 12 events listed as evidence of a "pattern of Russian malign activity" one is demonstratively false (2008 invasion of Georgia), one conflates two different accusations (occupation of Crimea and destabilization of the Ukraine), one is circular (assassination of Skripal) and all others are completely unproven accusations.

All that is missing here is the mass rape of baby penguins by drunken Russian sailors in the south pole or the use of a secret "weather weapon" to send hurricanes towards the USA.

You don't need a law degree to see that, all you need is an IQ above room temperature and a basic understanding of logic. For all my contempt for western leaders, even I wouldn't make the claim that they all lack these. So here is where "solidarity" kicks-in:

"Solidarity" in this context is simply a "conceptual placeholder" for Stephen Decatur 's famous " my country, right or wrong " applied to the entire Empire. The precedent of Meine Ehre heißt Treue just slightly rephrased into Meine Ehre heißt Solidarität also comes to mind.

[Apr 01, 2018] About the only proven use of Facebook

Apr 01, 2018 | www.counterpunch.org

Maybe it did expand my audience. I have no idea. About the only proven use I found was being able to get on Tinder to get laid, as you cannot have a Tinder account without a Facebook account. Thereafter I called it Fuckbook.

[Mar 29, 2018] About Origin of the saying "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog"

Mar 29, 2018 | discussion.theguardian.com

poozler , 28 Mar 2018 19:06

"On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog" is not a joke; it is a caption from a very famous New Yorker cartoon by Peter Steiner. It is also not 15 years old; it was published in July 1993. Get your facts here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Internet,_nobody_knows_you%27re_a_dog

[Mar 29, 2018] Speaking of "smart toasters" this 'daily show' clip from 15 years ago is a gut-busting hoot.

Mar 29, 2018 | discussion.theguardian.com

Leo Douglas , 28 Mar 2018 15:23

speaking of "smart toasters" this 'daily show' clip from 15 years ago is a gut-busting hoot.
i rarely if ever post links in comment sections, but this ties in quite nicely with this article!!

cheers^
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/jpo4t4/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-lies-of-the-machines

[Mar 29, 2018] Russians Are Guilty Until Proven Guilty

Mar 29, 2018 | waterfordwhispersnews.com

THE international community has agreed to adopt a 'guilty until proven guilty' stance towards Russia in relation to the nerve-agent poisoning of a former spy in Britain, following a deliberation that lasted as long as it took to say 'well of course they fu**ing did it'.

The Russian government, who have previously stated in no uncertain terms that they 'don't give a fu** what anyone thinks', categorically denied any involvement in the poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter last month, although political experts have pointed out that the Russian spokespeople have had their hands under the table at the time and may have had their fingers crossed.

So far, 15 EU countries, including Ireland have expelled Russian diplomats as the fallout from the case continues, despite the lack of hard evidence that the Kremlin had anything to do with the attempted murder of Skripal, a former double agent exiled in the UK since 2010. Stating that 'you don't need evidence when they're clearly as guilty as sin', EU leaders have sided with the UK government, whose secret service has never carried out shady, underhand executions on foreign soil.

"I will miss very much the Supermacs and the Copper Faced Jacks," said the Russian diplomat expelled from Ireland, packing his suitcase.

"But I understand the Irish people want to stand shoulder to shoulder with their close friends in the UK. Maybe sometime in future they will forget all about this incident and normal service will resume. How long did it take after scandal about Russian spies using Irish passports? 18 months, maybe? I can wait that long. Save me plate of coddle".

Meanwhile, Leo Varadkar has stated that Russia may be pardoned if Vladimir Putin visits Ireland for a photo-op in which he sups a pint of Guinness.

Source: Waterford Whispers News

[Mar 29, 2018] There is no hope for the survival of the Skripols

Mar 29, 2018 | russia-insider.com
Garry Compton tom 15 hours ago ,

There is no hope for the survival of the Skripols - they have been transferred to a Veterans Hospital in the US.

[Mar 29, 2018] An Echo is Fine...

Mar 29, 2018 | discussion.theguardian.com

Mark Holmes , 28 Mar 2018 10:21

13. An Echo is Fine...

This list item brought to you by A partnership with Amazon and the NSA.

[Mar 28, 2018] Why You Should Never Watch RT -- Ever! by Neil Clark

Dec 07, 2017 | www.strategic-culture.org

The latest piece by Mr. Cyril Waugh-Monger, a very important newspaper columnist for the NeoCon Daily, a patron of the Senator Joe McCarthy Appreciation Society and author of 'Why the Iraq War was a Brilliant Idea' and 'The Humanitarian Case for Bombing Syria.'

... ... ...

Fleecing Rabbi Guest 3 years ago ,

BBC propaganda machine is not that far behind. In the recent global IGNORANCE INDEX ... US had the honor of being the 2nd most ignorant after Italy...

[Mar 27, 2018] A Ukrainian joke

Mar 27, 2018 | www.unz.com

AnonFromTN , Next New Comment March 27, 2018 at 7:10 pm GMT

...here is a Ukrainian joke.
- You say Russia occupied Ukrainian Crimea. So, why don't you fight for it?
- We are not stupid, there is Russian army there.
- But you say that there is Russian army in Donbass, yet you fight
- That's what we say, but in Crimea there really is Russian army.

[Mar 25, 2018] Tonight Is The Beginning Seven Things To Watch For In Stormy Daniels' Interview

Mar 25, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

chunga -> serotonindumptruck Sun, 03/25/2018 - 16:36 Permalink

I hope Melania isn't too hurt by this. Nothing says fidelity like the tender notion of a non-disclosure agreement with your floozies . I'm sure that's how my wife would see it.

Robert Trip Sun, 03/25/2018 - 16:06 Permalink

"Adult film star?"

Interviewed by "I love to suck cocks" Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes.

They are fit for each other.

[Mar 23, 2018] Friday Humor Entire Facebook Staff Laughs As Man Tightens Privacy Settings

Mar 23, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

All 1,472 employees of Facebook, Inc. reportedly burst out in uncontrollable laughter Wednesday following Albuquerque resident Jason Herrick's attempts to protect his personal information from exploitation on the social-networking site.

" Look, he's clicking 'Friends Only' for his e-mail address. Like that's going to make a difference! " howled infrastructure manager Evan Hollingsworth, tears streaming down his face, to several of his doubled-over coworkers.

" Oh, sure, by all means, Jason, 'delete' that photo. Man, this is so rich ."

According to internal sources, the entire staff of Facebook was left gasping for air minutes later when the "hilarious" Herrick believed he had actually blocked third-party ads.

Source: The Onion

[Mar 23, 2018] I am now disoriented on Brexit

Mar 23, 2018 | craigmurray.org.uk

Ben , March 22, 2018 at 22:40

I'm disoriented on Brexit..

The latest is

A. Good

B. Bad.

C. Good and bad Putin.

D. All of the above

[Mar 22, 2018] Those nasty Russians: the BBC cries all day about Skripals and expulsion of the British Council

Mar 22, 2018 | annbeaker.livejournal.com

The British broadcasting Corporation, or simply BBC is crying all day. And how not to cry: The Syrian land is suffering from all sorts of iniquity. Legitimate government has already taken control of two cities in Eastern Ghouta, where British trained and supported head choppers have dug along with some British intelligence instructors. It's terrible and they simply stand such an indignity! England loudly protest the fact that those nice freedom fighters, that for some strange reason Russian view of Islamic fundamentalists and bandits are killed and the province is liberated. Because there is another version of this reality for England. and to add insult to injury they fed and funded, and deprived themselves to induce those fighters to overthrow Assad. Money now lost.

And now Skripal disaster. I also see that somewhere in Sussex there a poor English Lord who embrace as a brother Russian Jewish oligarch and they both cry and cry. All, or almost all wealth which was acquired by back-breaking labor (aka stolen from Russians with the help of British banks), can now go to hell.

Add to this the sad fact that those nasty Russians expelled the British Council! This news was declared on BBC by a fellow who was almost crying dir such an undeserved and unprovoked insult from ungrateful Russians! He really looks like so sad as if his own mother was just buried. Looks like Russian hit in the bull's eye and a lot of MI6 guys will return to the motherland. For the glory of God.

And BTW, it looks like that in of England over the past 17 years perishing way too many defectors from Russia. Suddenly(!) the British began to count them and notice that something is wrong! Now there is a talk that they say we ought to pull old files and cadavers and review. It's a very cool idea to make same dead people a propaganda story about evil Russians the second time! Reminds me Hollywood with unbearable continuations of popular movies. But on the other hand, what if they run out of usable defectors who fit the propaganda scheme, and they are simply forced to reuse the previously poisoned cadavers out of necessity? Looks like a crisis of the genre of some kind! On the other hand Khodorkovsky and Browder might start a little bit worrying. What if they are next.

[Mar 21, 2018] Yes, the secret agencies must be nearly abolished, as completely incompatible with democracy

Notable quotes:
"... Yes, the secret agencies must be nearly abolished, as completely incompatible with democracy. ..."
Mar 21, 2018 | consortiumnews.com

Sam F , March 20, 2018 at 6:32 am

Yes, the secret agencies must be nearly abolished, as completely incompatible with democracy.

Wolfbay , March 20, 2018 at 6:54 am

There are only 17 secret agencies. No room to cut.

[Mar 20, 2018] We read that Vladimir Putin's passport was found three days later at the Scripaal's poisoning scene.

Mar 20, 2018 | www.unz.com

remo , Website Next New Comment March 20, 2018 at 8:36 am GMT

"Sir, Further to your report ("Poison exposure leaves almost 40 needing treatment", TIMES Mar 14)' may I clarify that no patients have experienced symptoms of nerve agent poisoning in Salisbury and there have only ever been three patients with significant poisoning. Several people have attended the emergency department concerned that they may have been exposed. None has had symptoms of poisoning and none has needed treatment. Any blood tests performed have shown no abnormality. No member of the public has been contaminated by the agent involved."

Stephen Davies. Consultant in emergency medicine, Salisbury NHS Foundation Trust.

... ... ...

[Mar 20, 2018] Putin and SS-Standartenf hrer Max Otto von Stierlitz (the main hero of popular Russian serial Seventeen Moments of Spring, the most successful Soviet espionage thriller ever made)

The parody plays on the fact that Putin was also located in Germany at some point of his career
Mar 20, 2018 | en.wikipedia.org

Штирлиц и Путин.. Прикол! )) Stierlitz and Putin.. Funny )) - YouTube

Published on Jul 10, 2016

Funny montage of episode of the soviet serial "17 moments of spring".
Stierlitz meets Putin in Switzerland. Casts:
V.Tikhonov, V.Putin, Y.Timoshenko, N.Savchenko, H.Clinton

[Mar 19, 2018] Russian election humor

Mar 19, 2018 | wp.com

Slogan on the picture:

We already selected the President of the USA

Now let's select the President of Russia

[Mar 19, 2018] Who says that there is no proof that Putin did it?

Mar 19, 2018 | www.unz.com

Kiza , March 19, 2018 at 1:21 pm GMT

Who says that there is no proof that Putin did it?

Boris Johnson personally found a ripped off shirt next to the bench of Scripals and "Vlad WOS HIER" spray painted on the nearest wall.

[Mar 18, 2018] Sherlok Holmes about Skripals poisoning

Mar 18, 2018 | vz.ru

Polina Zorina , Moscow 7 hours ago

I liked the joke:

Stalker ABV , Sankt-Peterburg, 10 hours ago

Standing at the counter of an English pub, a man in the full protection gear tried to mix some chemicals in the flask. Looks like he is a real beginner in such a task, "novichok" as Russians call such people, derisively thought Sherlock Holms correctly guessing that the man is trying to prepare several ounces of nerve gas "Novichok".

[Mar 17, 2018] If only the white helmets could figure a way to rescue the Skripals from Zizzi's restaurant and have a real baby in the pic too, they might have had a better PR thing going here

Notable quotes:
"... Unfortunately events in Ghouta seem to be moving more quickly than foreseen. If the West doesn't get a move on there aren't going to be any more imaginary hospitals in Ghouta filled with non-existent children for Butcher Assad to drop fictional barrel bombs stuffed with made-up Novichok on. ..."
Mar 17, 2018 | craigmurray.org.uk

james , March 16, 2018 at 02:48

it's has a cumulative effect the west just has to keep the daily, weekly, or monthly accusations on full tilt, without any substance to back it up.. but i do believe the west is pissed they have been snookered in syria with un security res 2401 all the plans for a false flag, chemical attack in ghouta and extra, have been turned upside down.. now, if only the white helmets could figure a way to rescue the skripals from zizzi's restaurant and have a real baby in the pic too, they might have had a better pr thing going here . sorry to be so cynical, but too many of these accusations without substance to back them up wears thin after a while.. at this point cold war 2, and a reenactment of mccarthyism is on full display in the usa/uk .

Stonky , March 16, 2018 at 04:40

" but i do believe the west is pissed they have been snookered in syria with un security res 2401 all the plans for a false flag, chemical attack in ghouta and extra, have been turned upside down "

I'm inclined to agree with you James. I think the whole thing was cooked up as a kind of precursor: "Look! LOOK!! Putin is assassinating people in Britain with Novichok, and now Butcher Assad has DROPPED A WHOLE BARREL BOMB STUFFED WITH NOVICHOK ON A HOSPITAL FILLED WITH CHILDREN IN GHOUTA!!! We must take a MEASURED RESPONSE to this, and save the Syrians by by BOMBING WHAT'S LEFT OF THEIR COUNTRY INTO RUBBLE "

Unfortunately events in Ghouta seem to be moving more quickly than foreseen. If the West doesn't get a move on there aren't going to be any more imaginary hospitals in Ghouta filled with non-existent children for Butcher Assad to drop fictional barrel bombs stuffed with made-up Novichok on.

[Mar 17, 2018] Why Russians did not leave a pair of snow covered boots at the scene of the crime and scrawl Vlad woz Here on the nearest wall!

Notable quotes:
"... If it was the poison of a fugu fish, we would know for sure that the Japanese are guilty ..."
Mar 17, 2018 | craigmurray.org.uk
Andrew , March 17, 2018 at 06:14

George Galloway tweeted:"IF only #Russia had access to #Novichok WHY would they choose that weapon to mount a terrorist attack in England? Might as well leave a pair of snow covered boots at the scene of the crime and scrawl Vlad woz Here on the nearest wall! THINK!"

This man, Clyde, and all others against you don't seem to have much knowledge of how false flags are planted and cannot think beyond what they have already concluded.

Motives are there and false flags usually happen when there are several levels of profit.

It just happens to be the last phase of the war in Syria and we get another call from Nikki Haley to strike Syria, which happened several times in response to so-called chemical attacks. I was waiting for it, but did not expect it to happen in the UK.

As if Putin would use such a method to kill, on the eve of elections, a former irrelevant agent, and then did not succeed. There are other levels relating to the end of the Russia probe around collusion being declared over without result and the next day the whole hysteria shifts to the UK. Another factor has been the ongoing Nord Stream II oil pipeline from Russia to the EU which the US does not want (nor does Poland and some others).

Carl Jung described the lowering of the mental level in mob psychology and how this then prevents people from thinking and rushes of their own unconscious motives and feelings dominate. Secret services who know how to play this are very good at it and the media in the West are no longer run by independent journalists. It is tragic to see how the US and UK always manage to play on these instincts of the masses and it works: the Wesley-Clark message about going to war with a host of Middle Eastern countries is unfolding after using the usual demonising of the leaders, then the black propaganda and lies are used, false flags planted and the mobs go along with it time and time again (who cares about Iraq, Libya, Syria, Sudan, Yemen etc.).

Thank you, Craig, for standing up to these low level, non thinking types who cannot help themselves and have no integrity to even allow due process to take place.

Sergey , March 17, 2018 at 08:44

He opened his bag as he spoke, and tumbled onto the floor a wedding-dress of watered silk, a pair of white satin shoes and a bride's wreath and veil, all discoloured and soaked in water.

"There," said he, putting a new wedding-ring upon the top of the pile.
"There is a little nut for you to crack, Master Holmes."

"Oh, indeed!" said my friend, blowing blue rings into the air.
"You dragged them from the Serpentine?"
"No. They were found floating near the margin by a park-keeper. They have been identified as her clothes, and it seemed to me that if the clothes were there the body would not be far off."

"By the same brilliant reasoning, every man's body is to be found in the neighbourhood of his wardrobe. And pray what did you hope to arrive at through this?"

Arthur Conan Doyle
"The Noble Bachelor"

If it was the poison of a fugu fish, we would know for sure that the Japanese are guilty

[Mar 17, 2018] It seems that the Kremlin poisoned the UK with the gas Durachok (durachok-very stupid fool)

Mar 17, 2018 | craigmurray.org.uk

Neil , March 17, 2018 at 20:28

You are over-thinking this, Craig. The fact that Boris Johnson has now stated that it's "overwhelmingly likely" that Putin did it is incontrovertible proof that Putin is almost certainly innocent.

GF , March 16, 2018 at 13:50

It seems that the Kremlin poisoned the UK with the gas "Durachok" (durachok-very stupid fool)

Ray Dauncey , March 16, 2018 at 18:27

Russia had no need to use Durachok in the UK, the British MSM had done the job for them many moons ago.

GF , March 17, 2018 at 05:10

MSM (Men who have Sex with Men) working on MSM (Mainstream Media) ?

[Mar 16, 2018] Maybe he lacks education

Mar 16, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

...UK Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson said on Thursday that Russia "should go away and shut up" when asked about Moscow's possible response to British sanctions.

...Lavrov said he probably lacked education. "Well he's a nice man, I'm told, maybe he wants to claim a place in history by making some bold statements," Lavrov said. "Theresa May's main argument about Russia's guilt is 'Highly probable', while for him it's 'Russia should go and shut up'. Maybe he lacks education, I don't know."

* * *

pods Fri, 03/16/2018 - 19:49 Permalink

"Maybe he lacks education. "
Love Russian humor.
pods

[Mar 14, 2018] And the Oscar for the least credible Russia-demonization attempt of the year goes to ....

Mar 14, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

land_of_the_few -> BullyBearish Wed, 03/14/2018 - 14:26 Permalink

And the Oscar for the least credible Russia-demonization attempt of the year goes to ....

[Mar 14, 2018] The Official Enemy always does exactly the wrong thing

Mar 14, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Daniel , Mar 14, 2018 6:05:04 PM | 33

The Official Enemy always does *exactly* the wrong thing:

- Saddam Hussein hid WMD even as war loomed
- Gaddafi ordered a massacre certain to bring 'intervention'
- Assad launched a gas attack exactly as inspectors entered Damascus
- And now Putin...

[Mar 12, 2018] In the US everything is named for the opposite of what it actually is

Notable quotes:
"... the name "Football" is reserved for a game where you carry an object which is not shaped like a ball with your hands instead of kicking a round, ball shaped object with your foot. ..."
"... Kind of like the "Forest Protection Act" removes logging protecting from National Forests and the "Clean Air Act" removes anti-pollution regulations from big polluters like coal fired power stations. ..."
Mar 12, 2018 | www.wsws.org

Terry Lawrence -> Deplorable4 days ago

In the US, where everything is named for the opposite of what it actually is, the name "Football" is reserved for a game where you carry an object which is not shaped like a ball with your hands instead of kicking a round, ball shaped object with your foot.

Kind of like the "Forest Protection Act" removes logging protecting from National Forests and the "Clean Air Act" removes anti-pollution regulations from big polluters like coal fired power stations.

Here in Canada the "Seal Protection Act" makes it illegal to protect seals, among other "named the opposite of what they actually do" laws.

George Orwell nailed it in "1984". "War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength".

[Mar 12, 2018] MILITARY grade? Well then, Mrs. Prime Minister... that's pretty God damn serious then. Because everyone knows the Russian CONSUMER-grade nerve agents are crap

The PM has said that the nerve agent was 'Novichok' which is 5 to 8 times more potent than VX... and the authorities waited 5 days to send the army in and over a week to tell people to wash their clothes and other items?
Mar 12, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

PavewayIV | Mar 12, 2018 4:41:58 PM | 10

"Sergej Skripal and his daughter were poisoned with a military grade nerve agent of a type developed by Russia.

MILITARY grade? Well then, Mrs. Prime Minister... that's pretty God damn serious then. Because everyone knows the Russian CONSUMER -grade nerve agents are crap. I think they sell them on Amazon (Free shipping with Amazon Prime).

TJ , Mar 12, 2018 4:55:27 PM | 11
Like I said in a previous thread Novichok was part of the plot of the recent "Strike Back: Retribution" TV series on Sky TV, Rupert Murdoch's 21st Century Fox owns a 39.14% controlling stake in Sky PLC. So a TV series by a billionaire supporter of Teresa May just happens to make a fictional TV series around a nerve agent and Bad Russians(TM) and is put on TV just before Teresa May accuses Bad Russians(TM) of using said nerve agent. This is not a coincidence.

[Mar 10, 2018] "Who took the cookie from the Jar? "The Russians did it, Dad!"

Mar 10, 2018 | turcopolier.typepad.com

Thomas, 10 March 2018 at 10:58 AM

"...all the developments towards singling out Russia for everything.."

The new meme for Mischief.

"Who took the cookie from the Jar?

"The Russians did it, Dad!"

"Well it is a good thing they failed to put the top back on, or You and I would not have known of the deed."

[Mar 09, 2018] A possibility of a very short meeting with Kim

Mar 09, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Posted by: A P | Mar 9, 2018 8:53:46 PM | 27

And even if it did, it would be a short meeting.

Trump: When will NK get rid of its nukes?
Kim: When the US does.
Trump: That's not happening.

Kim will get up and walk out...

[Mar 09, 2018] Trump Threatens Peace In Korea

Mar 09, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

The mainstream commentariat:

Then: Trump is a madman who wants to lead us into war against North Korea.

Now: Trump is a madman who wants to lead us towards peace with North Korea.

Rory Yeomans

[Mar 07, 2018] Ice cream as a propaganda tool ;-)

Mar 07, 2018 | www.unz.com

Andrei Martyanov , Website March 6, 2018 at 6:22 pm GMT

Meanwhile in Russia, in Naberezhnye Chelny (Tatarstan) a new ice-cream Poor Jew has been presented and is now in series production. I kid you not:

https://life.ru/t/%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B8/1095544/poslie_khokhla_i_obamki_v_tatarstanie_vypustili_morozhienoie_biednyi_ievriei

Link in Russian. Some (very few) Jews protested and I think because of the oxymoron–Jews are never poor (wink, wink). This is the same company which produced ice-creams Hohol and Obamka (diminutive for Obama), Obamka, as you may have guessed it, being a chocolate ice-cream. State Department even accused the company in anti-Americanism.

I think it is time to produce brand Katzap to put all those issues to rest. Here is how ice-cream looks like.


I omit here all hilarious issues which followed.

[Mar 06, 2018] In new, MI6 created reality

This is the level of nonsense that even yellow press would shun... Probably the pressitute who wrote it was beaten to force him/her to write such a nonsense. Or as one commenter said was "working under hostile duress"
Notable quotes:
"... It is a "working under hostile duress" beacon set off ..."
Mar 06, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Arioch , Mar 6, 2018 7:05:20 AM | 3

> How please can a phone that can not send or receive signals, take a call? That is impossible. How can a fact-checker and/or editor at The NewYorker let such nonsense slip into the opening graph.

Very very simple. It is a "working under hostile duress" beacon set off

[Mar 06, 2018] A former CIA officer called John Sipher, calling a rival organisation 'the best intelligence professionals in the world'

Mar 06, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Jen , Mar 6, 2018 4:15:56 PM | 43

This part of the New Yorker article could be sheer comedy gold:

'... Regardless of what others might think, it's clear that Steele believed that his dossier was filled with important intelligence. Otherwise, he would never have subjected it, his firm, and his reputation to the harsh scrutiny of the F.B.I. "I'm impressed that he was willing to share it with the F.B.I.," [former CIA spook John Sipher] said. "That gives him real credibility to me, the notion that he'd give it to the best intelligence professionals in the world."...'

FBI, best intelligence professionals in the world? Didn't the FBI along with the CIA miss most indications of a looming terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in the months leading up to September 11, 2001?

A former CIA officer called John Sipher, calling a rival organisation 'the best intelligence professionals in the world'?

[Mar 06, 2018] A Parody on New Yorker reporting of Steele dossier saga

Mar 06, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

Luther , Mar 6, 2018 8:52:41 AM | 11

"...looked much like the other businessmen heading home, except for the fact that he kept his phones in a Faraday bag -- a pouch, of military-tested double-grade fabric, designed to block signal detection..."

A practical man, Steele also kept a giant roll of telephone line attached to his belt. Unrolling it as he proceeded down the high street, he glanced upwards.

A Pteranodon, perched upon the slate roof was watching him closely. A bead of sweat appeared on his temple, just showing underneath the rim of his bowler hat, trickling down the side of his face, the leaving a streak that resembled a long forgotten river delta.

A chimmney sweet was approaching him on his right, whistling a jaunty tune, his bag of extendable brushes jingling and clanking, just like Steele's nerves. Obviously a Russian operative, the sweep was whistling an excerpt from Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty, an ominous warning...

[Mar 03, 2018] A day in the life of joe THE TRUMP VOTER

Mar 03, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

herefortheshow17 Fri, 03/02/2018 - 19:36 Permalink

a day in the life of joe "THE TRUMP VOTER" republican--by john gray: Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.

Joes employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune. Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills.

Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country.

He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification. He is happy to see his father, who is now retired.

His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show.

The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

CatInTheHat -> Simplifiedfrisbee Fri, 03/02/2018 - 23:58 Permalink

Today's 'liberal' is no liberal at all. Center-extreme righties love to get all indignant and shitty toward 'Trumptards' however today's liberal deludes themselves into believing that they're 'socialists', which is utter bullshit. They're party is racist, bigots and fascist WARMONGERS.

At least with the right you know what you're getting. But NEOLIBERALS have done more to manipulate and exploit their base based upon identity politics which is thinly veiled after their fraud committed during the 2016 attempted coup. Russiagate is utter bullshit and all of these hangers on trolls here are nothing more than cheerleaders for fascists who are sleepwalking them right into a third world war.

These deep state whores murdered Seth Rich.

As a reformed ',liberal', I would rather spend time on slightly rightie ZH page than to listen to these fascist fake liberals any day of the week.

[Mar 02, 2018] The best time to attack Russia

Mar 02, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

V. Arnold | Mar 2, 2018 12:01:34 AM | 57

The best time to attack Russia, enjoy:

This past September, in one of his regular interviews with the newspaper Parlamentní Listy, retired Czech Major General Hynek Blaško commented on the possibility of a conflict between Russia and NATO with a following anecdote:

"I have seen a popular joke on the Internet about Obama and his generals in the Pentagon debating on the best timing to attack Russia. They couldn't come to any agreement, so they decided to ask their allies.

The French said: " We do not know, but certainly not in the winter. This will end badly. "

The Germans responded: "We do not know, either, but definitely not in a summer. We have already tried."

Someone in Obama's war room had a brilliant idea to ask China, on the basis that China is developing and always has new ideas.

The Chinese answered: "The best time for this is right now. Russia is building the Power of Siberia pipeline, the North Stream Pipeline, Vostochny Cosmodrome Spaceport, the MegaProject bridge to Crimea; also Russian is upgrading the Trans-Siberian railroad with a new railway bridge across Lena River and the Amur-Yakutsk Mainline. Russia is also building new sports facilities for the World Cup and athletics, and has in development over 150 production projects in the Arctic Well, now they really need as many POWs as possible!"

[Feb 24, 2018] Does Rachel Maddow represent American "intelligence" or lack of it. She's seeing Russian bots in her dreams

Feb 24, 2018 | therealnews.com

Robert Johnson , February 23, 2018 1:06 PM

Rachel Maddow is American "intelligence" at its least ambitious....

Richard Burt Robert Johnson , February 23, 2018 5:50 PM

LOL

beaglebailey , February 23, 2018 1:19 AM

Unbelievable. Aaron: I don't believe that the Mueller investigation has delivered solid proof that Russia did anything against the country.

Sipher: Well I think that he and the FBI are reputable sources and I'm going to believe them and what they tell me. Even if they haven't proven anything, we know that Putin is a bad man and he wants to sow divisions here and besides he's using chemical weapons in Syria (even though that's so totally off topic) and when I go to bed at night I see Putin in my dreams and yackity, yack, yack! So there. I'm a poopy head and you're not.

Good grief, how can people believe anything by this time? And Rachel? Quit lying to yourself and others. My gawd! You have come a long way from your time at Air America that I don't even recognize you anymore. You are creating hysteria and you have become a raving lunatic. Enjoy your $30,000/day, $7 million a month salary for selling out to the people who you used to despise. I despise you!

Bill Conklin , February 22, 2018 6:40 PM

I suppose it is ok for Aaron to interview guys like this CIA agent but the agent clearly doesn't understand the validity of an indictment. An indictment doesn't prove anything; If it did, we wouldn't need trial courts.

The Department of Justice could indict a ham sandwich if they wanted.

The DOJ knows that this case will never go to trial and they will never have to prove anything. It is depressing that the Democrats and MSNBC have lost all credibility. We are very lucky to have Aaron and Max looking at this sutff.

beaglebailey Bill Conklin , February 23, 2018 1:20 AM

Not according to Rachel. She's seeing Russian bots in her dreams. Just like Sipher.

[Feb 24, 2018] Russian Embassy NAILS the British media with one tweet by Vladimir Rodzianko

People all over the world are delighted to see the US and Russia joining together to call out the globalists on their blatant hypocrisy.
Notable quotes:
"... "A Russian company spends 72p on Facebook ads: interference, hybrid war, parliamentary inquiry Soros spends £400K on bringing down UK Government: nothing to worry about." ..."

"A Russian company spends 72p on Facebook ads: interference, hybrid war, parliamentary inquiry Soros spends £400K on bringing down UK Government: nothing to worry about."

A Russian company spends 72p on Facebook ads: interference, hybrid war, parliamentary inquiry
Soros spends £400K on bringing down UK Government: nothing to worry about pic.twitter.com/yeCZw4Z2B1

-- Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) February 8, 2018

[Feb 21, 2018] Can I get a refund?

Feb 21, 2018 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Jim Haygood , February 20, 2018 at 10:28 am

Radio Liberty budget: $110 million
NATO budget [direct only]: €1.29 billion
US black budget [uses undisclosed]: ~$60 billion

Any questions?

Lee , February 20, 2018 at 11:14 am

Any questions?

Yeah, can I get a refund?

[Feb 20, 2018] The US is indispensable precious nation with a true democracy in action. Didn't you know? Every Russian knows that

Steve S: "My God, what a confession it is to believe that 13 non-billionaires could influence an American election: "Horosho! Now that election goes to Trump, next we get Moose and Squirrel!" Seriously?!"
shinola , February 20, 2018 at 3:36 pm " If special snowflake America's democracy is so fragile that a bunch of amateurish Boris & Natasha trolls can bring it down, then let it bleed [and share the Stoli, comrades]."
Feb 20, 2018 | www.unz.com

yurivku , February 20, 2018 at 10:38 am GMT

Why is this conspiracy and collusion with Russians less worthy of Mueller's attention than a troll farm in St. Petersburg?

Strange question. Just because the US is indispensable precious nation with a true democracy in action.
Didn't you know? Every Russian knows that.

DrivingBy ,

VikingLS ,

[Feb 20, 2018] February 20, 2018 at 10:28 am

Feb 20, 2018 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Radio Liberty budget: $110 million
NATO budget [direct only]: €1.29 billion
US black budget [uses undisclosed]: ~$60 billion

Any questions?

Lee , February 20, 2018 at 11:14 am

Any questions?

Yeah, can I get a refund?

[Feb 19, 2018] When is the Onion going to be indicted for being funny and spotting absurdities.

Notable quotes:
"... Are we to see all this nonsense as merely an internal US matter, with the Dems planning an attack on Trump before he was elected, and subsequently promoting Russia as a blanket external enemy - as they can't accuse the Republicans, Banks or Big Corps, need an outside bogey, though they have post hoc also blamed the electorate, not smart. ..."
"... Russia is merely a mythical figure, breathing fire and red-clawed, in the wings, invisible, serving as a prop for the major contestants. ..."
"... Naturally, ordinary US citizens are of no account beyond their role as potentially duped followers, adherents, minions, serfs, ciphers on a page, etc. Influencing opinion(s) the most efficiently is part of the competition, actualised through media, TV, internet, etc. etc. ..."
Feb 19, 2018 | www.moonofalabama.org

michael d | Feb 19, 2018 10:25:34 AM | 19

I'm confused. The ICYMI facebook page has been going for a month or so.

It does exactly what the Russian bots are accused of, raising political issues and mocking one side or as often both sides. Perhaps more UK based than US based though.

A lot like the more humourous RT posts do (which also find their way into my timeline - not complaining I click on a lot of them). How come it hasn't been brought down yet?

And when is the Onion going to be indicted for being funny and spotting absurdities.

Noirette | Feb 19, 2018 10:40:11 AM | 21

More seriously. The Russkies, e.g. Zakharova and Lavrov have said that the USA has gone mad, is in the grip of a crazed delusional hysteria (or words to that effect.) Why the hype?

1) Are we to see all this nonsense as merely an internal US matter, with the Dems planning an attack on Trump before he was elected, and subsequently promoting Russia as a blanket external enemy - as they can't accuse the Republicans, Banks or Big Corps, need an outside bogey, though they have post hoc also blamed the electorate, not smart.

Neatly fitting with that Trump did propose 'good' ( ) relations with Russia, in an attempt to actually conserve some, or even a major part, of US hegemony in the new 'multipolar' world. (Trump wanted to control and 'annex' the weaker partner, not a bad calculation.)

>> Russia is merely a mythical figure, breathing fire and red-clawed, in the wings, invisible, serving as a prop for the major contestants.

Naturally, ordinary US citizens are of no account beyond their role as potentially duped followers, adherents, minions, serfs, ciphers on a page, etc. Influencing opinion(s) the most efficiently is part of the competition, actualised through media, TV, internet, etc. etc.

2) The USA is *for real* gearing up for a meltdown war, against Russia in first place, and all the Media hype is aimed at getting US, NATO citizens to support it, or at least sleep in front of the TV and not object, and/or be controlled by various entities. The US PTB will never accept its loss of power/status and will destroy the world in a nuclear storm before it gives up.

Between 1-2 many intermediary scenarios exist.

?? - Sincere qu.

[Feb 18, 2018] 2018 Feb 18 - Russia Update

A nice YouTube video of dynamic creation of the cartoon
Feb 18, 2018 | www.youtube.com

News review for the week ending Feb 18th 2018, in which Robert Mueller named 13 Russians who allegedly conspired to alter the result of the 2016 election

View the archive at:
www.calvinsworldnews.com

Or why not check out my other website with classical music cartoons:
www.maestrocartoon.com

Or follow me on twitter @scottishcalvin

[Feb 18, 2018] All Around the Russkie Bush

Feb 18, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

gregga777 -> Looney Sun, 02/18/2018 - 10:11 Permalink

All Around the Russkie Bush

All around the Russkie bush
The Weasels* chased the Trump
The Weasels thought 'twas all in fun
Pop! goes the Weasels

A million for Steele's dossier
A million for a pack o' lies
That's the way the money goes
Pop! goes the Weasels

A pound of lies by Susan Rice
A pound of lies by Hitlery
Mix it up and make it nice
Pop! goes the Weasels

*FBI (Feral Bureau of Weasels)

[Feb 10, 2018] The whole Russiagate story It reinforces what Mad magazine spoofed decades ago: our spies are just as dumb as theirs; perhaps even more so

Feb 10, 2018 | www.nytimes.com

Pennsylvania 11 hours ago

There's a certain irony in stuff like this that supersedes even righteous outrage. It reinforces what Mad magazine spoofed decades ago: our spies are just as dumb as theirs; perhaps even more so. And when you wade in the swamp, expect to attract leeches.

[Feb 07, 2018] Can we turn the Obama Presidential Library into a prison for Obama, Comey, etc.?

Feb 07, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

3-fingered_chemist Feb 7, 2018 9:33 AM Permalink

Can we turn the Obama Presidential Library into a prison for Obama, Comey, etc.?

[Feb 01, 2018] FISA Frivolity FBI Warns Memo Could Undermine Faith In Massive, Unaccountable Secret Agencies

Feb 01, 2018 | www.zerohedge.com

With the moment of truth - over-hyped dud or Democratic-establishment-crushing dream - looming in less than 24 hours, the headlines, finger-pointing, pettiness, and back-stabbing has reached 11 on the Spinal Tap amplifier of debacle... to the point where some humor in this FISA farce may help everyone get through the weekend.

The following is the latest to cross the wires...

Stressing that such an action would be highly reckless, FBI Director Christopher Wray warned Thursday that releasing the "Nunes Memo" could potentially undermine faith in the massive, unaccountable government secret agencies of the United States.

"Making this memo public will almost certainly impede our ability to conduct clandestine activities operating outside any legal or judicial system on an international scale," said Wray, noting that it was essential that mutual trust exist between the American people and the vast, mysterious cabal given free rein to use any tactics necessary to conduct surveillance on U.S. citizens or subvert religious and political groups.

"If we take away the people's faith in this shadowy monolith exempt from any consequences, all that's left is an extensive network of rogue, unelected intelligence officers carrying out extrajudicial missions for a variety of subjective, and occasionally personal, reasons."

At press time, Wray confirmed the massive, unaccountable government secret agencies were unaware of any wrongdoing for violating constitutional rights.

...Yes, The Onion.

[Jan 29, 2018] At no point did I ever consider firing Mr. Mueller, tossing his body to snarling, mangy hounds, and having his head stuffed and mounted front and center above the Oval Office fireplace

Jan 29, 2018 | discussion.theguardian.com

henry hobson , 27 Jan 2018 11:23

DAVOS -- Maintaining that the notion didn't even cross his mind, President Trump reportedly insisted Friday that he never once thought about firing Robert Mueller, feeding him to a pack of rabid dogs, and mounting his head in the Oval Office as a trophy.

"At no point did I ever consider firing Mr. Mueller, tossing his body to snarling, mangy hounds, and having his head stuffed and mounted front and center above the Oval Office fireplace," said Trump, dismissing several reports that he had ordered the special counsel to be terminated from his post and torn limb from limb by starving Rottweilers before nailing his skull to a wooden plaque, but backed off when a top White House lawyer threatened to quit.

"It's also totally ridiculous to think that I would ever want Mueller gone for good, boiled alive, and chopped up into bloody chunks. The stories you're hearing about me trying to get rid of Mueller and then gutting him with a rusty ice pick are absolutely not true."

At press time, Trump asserted that if he ever did one day decide to forcibly castrate Mueller and set him on fire, it would be fully within his authority as president.

the onion

[Jan 27, 2018] "what did she destroy evidence of?" There is just so much to choose from.

Jan 27, 2018 | theconservativetreehouse.com

neal s says: January 27, 2018 at 4:14 pm

ltravisjr asks "what did she destroy evidence of?" There is just so much to choose from.
How about this joke

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a bar.

Donald leans over, and With A smile on his face, says, "The media are really tearing you apart for That Scandal." Hillary:

"You mean my lying about Benghazi?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the massive voter fraud?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the military not getting their votes counted?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Using my secret private server with classified material to Hide my Activities?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything Else?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, Hiring Cronies, And taking
bribes from foreign countries?
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the drones being operated in our own country without The Benefit of the law?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million, and right afterward it Declared Bankruptcy
and was sold to the Chinese?"
Trump: "No,the other one."
Hillary: "You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Whitewater, Watergate committee, Vince Foster, commodity Deals?"
Trump: "No the other one:"
Hillary: "The IRS targeting conservatives?"
Trump: "No the other one:"
Hillary: "Turning Libya into chaos?"
Trump: "No the other one:"
Hillary: "Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?"
Trump: "No the other one:"
Hillary: "Turning our backs on Israel?"
Trump: "No the other one:"
Hillary: "The joke Iran Nuke deal? "
Trump: "No the other one:"
Hillary: "Leaving Iraq in chaos? "
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The DOJ spying on the press?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance Executives?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Giving our cronies in SOLYNDRA $500 MILLION DOLLARS and 3 Months Later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The NSA monitoring citizens' ?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The State Department interfering with an Inspector General Investigation on
departmental sexual misconduct?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Me, The IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Threats to all of Bill's former mistresses to keep them quiet"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "I give up! Oh wait, I think I've got it! When I stole the White House furniture,
silverware and China when Bill left Office?"
Trump: "THAT'S IT! I almost forgot about that one".
-- -- -- -- –
Sorry that doesn't actually answer your question. By the way, when I googled for
trump hillary "the other scandal"
I had trouble finding that joke, but duckduckgo.com had no trouble finding it at all.
Makes me think that google is deliberately trying to hide it.

[Jan 15, 2018] SNL See Bill Murray Play Steve Bannon in Cold Open Sketch

Jan 15, 2018 | www.rollingstone.com

Taking place on the set of MSNBC's Morning Joe , Armisen's Wolff told Kate McKinnon's Mika Brzezinski and Alex Moffat's Joe Scarborough about some of the incredible anecdotes that the author omitted from Fire and Fury , including the "baby races."

"Trump would ask to have two babies placed in his office, usually of different ethnicities. Someone would put a bowl of Goldfish crackers on the other side of the room, and Trump would say 'One-thousand bucks on the blackboard,'" Wolff said.

When pressed on whether everything in the book was rooted in non-fiction, Wolff responded by telling Scarborough and Brzezinski to just enjoy the book. "Even the stuff that's not true, it's true," Wolff said.

[Jan 14, 2018] We didn't say he was playing well

Jan 14, 2018 | www.unz.com

fish , January 13, 2018 at 11:41 am GMT

@Anonymous

This is the Trump is playing 6D chess meme and I'm sorry but anyone who believes this at this point is an idiot.

We didn't say he was playing well.

[Jan 13, 2018] D.C. city council infuriates Russia by renaming street in front of Russian Embassy by Dan Boylan

Notable quotes:
"... According to the Moscow Times, another Duma deputy suggested that the address of the U.S. Embassy in Moscow should be renamed as "Severoamerikansky Tupik, 1," -- "North American Dead End, 1." ..."
Jan 10, 2018 | www.washingtontimes.com

Sparking an angry reaction halfway around the world, the D.C. Council voted to rename the street outside the Russian Embassy after a leading rival to President Vladimir Putin who was assassinated near the Kremlin in 2015. A portion of Wisconsin Avenue in front of the Russian Embassy will now be known as "Boris Nemtsov Plaza," according to the D.C. Council .

... ... ...

According to the Moscow Times, another Duma deputy suggested that the address of the U.S. Embassy in Moscow should be renamed as "Severoamerikansky Tupik, 1," -- "North American Dead End, 1."

[Jan 11, 2018] Hiaasen Did I say 'brick' No, no, Donnie, I meant Ivanka's dumb as a stick!

Jan 08, 2018 | www.tallahassee.com

I understand why you're so angry about the new Michael Wolff book, especially some of the quotes attributed to me. I was as shocked as you were to see them in print.

For the record, I take full responsibility for letting Mr. Wolff hang out with me in the White House for so long. Apparently the dude was writing down everything I said, word for word.

Who does that? Nobody here at Breitbart News, that's for sure!

Please allow me to provide some context and clarification for my seemingly nasty comments about your family.

First, you know Ivanka and I have had our differences. It's no secret that she actually hates my guts, which is fine. Lots of people do. Almost anybody who's spent time with me, to be honest.

However, Wolff's book says I describe your daughter as "dumb as a brick," a phrase I've never used in my life.

Now, it's somewhat possible that – in an unguarded moment -- I said she was "dumb as a box of rocks," a phrase I use many times a day.

In fact, I say it so often that nobody who knows me takes it seriously anymore, or gets their itty-bitty feelings hurt.

[Jan 10, 2018] The Backstory of Laura Benanti's Melania Trump Speech Spoof on 'Late Show' (Q A) by Ashley Lee

Notable quotes:
"... to parody the GOP nominee's wife with a perfect pouty lip and spot-on Slovene accent. ..."
Jul 20, 2016 | www.hollywoodreporter.com

"The biggest rub is how stupid they think the American people are," says the Broadway star, who traveled for hours to parody the GOP nominee's wife with a perfect pouty lip and spot-on Slovene accent.

[Jan 10, 2018] Golden Globes: Host Seth Meyers Pokes Fun at "Stable Genius" Trump

"Remember when he was the guy making trouble with North Korea? Simpler times."
Jan 10, 2018 | www.hollywoodreporter.com

[Jan 08, 2018] Someone Spoofed Michael Wolff s Book About Trump And It s Comedy Gold

Highly recommended!
Many got the joke, however, many did not and it gained traction because it was "so plausible." This is what "confirmation bias" is about.
Notable quotes:
"... The parody paragraphs, below, describe Trump's (fictitious) frustration at not having "the gorilla channel" available on his White House bedroom television, and his staffers' subsequent amusing attempt to appease him ..."
"... Some people online at first incorrectly thought that the passages were actually featured in Wolff's book, in which Trump's former chief strategist Steve Bannon makes claims about the probe into Russian meddling in the 2016 election ..."
Jan 08, 2018 | www.huffingtonpost.com

A hilarious spoof excerpt purporting to be from Michael Wolff's new tell-all book about President Donald Trump's administration has gone viral. Twitter user @pixelatedboat , also known as Ben Ward of "milkshake duck" fame , shared a fake extract, which they joked was from Wolff's Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House , online Thursday night.

The parody paragraphs, below, describe Trump's (fictitious) frustration at not having "the gorilla channel" available on his White House bedroom television, and his staffers' subsequent amusing attempt to appease him

Some people online at first incorrectly thought that the passages were actually featured in Wolff's book, in which Trump's former chief strategist Steve Bannon makes claims about the probe into Russian meddling in the 2016 election.

On his first night in the White House, President Trump complained that the TV in his bedroom was broken, because it didn't have "the gorilla channel". Trump seemed to be under the impression that a TV channel existed that screened nothing but gorilla-based content, 24 hours a day.

To appease Trump, White House staff compiled a number of gorilla documentaries into a makeshift gorilla channel, broadcast into Trump's bedroom from a hastily-constructed transmission tower on the South Lawn. However, Trump w as unhappy with the channel they had created, moaning that it was "boring" because "the gorillas aren't fighting".

Staff edited out all the parts of the documentaries where gorillas weren't hitting each other, and at last the president was satisfied. "On some days he'll watch the gorilla channel for 17 hours straight," an insider told me. "He kneels in front of the ТV with his face about four inches from the screen, and says encouraging things to the gorillas, like 'the way you hit that other gorilla was good'. I think he thinks the gorillas can hear him."

Many got the joke, however, but said it gained traction because it was "so plausible."

A sampling of the responses are below:

... ... ...

[Jan 08, 2018] RE Michael Wolff - rants raves

stlouis.craigslist.org

[Dec 30, 2017] EXPLOSIVE Senate email says anyone of Russian nationality or Russian descent will now be targeted

Dec 30, 2017 | theduran.com

geoff , December 29, 2017 1:49 PM

Max Boot, MAX BOOT everyone, he's obviously a Russian agent, he was born in Moscow, he MUST have ties to Putin if he was born in Moscow. He's a deep cover RUSSIAN AGENT, Max Boot everyone !!

VeeNarian (Yerevan) geoff , December 29, 2017 2:59 PM

Boot that Max! Lock him up!!!

[Dec 29, 2017] "Vovan" and "Lexus" presented their book on Moscow's bookfair - For whom the Phone Rings

Dec 29, 2017 | turcopolier.typepad.com

Lyttenburgh said in reply to Kooshy... 26 December 2017 at 06:11 PM

Last month or two, "Vovan" and "Lexus" presented their book on Moscow's bookfair - For whom the Phone Rings . Fun read, providing not only transcriptions of their phonecalls, but also the background information - how they acquired the phone number, who connected them to their victim, how they prepared for the prank, the context and consequences. Most of all they targeted Mikhail Saakashvili. The most damaging their prank was for Ihor Kolomoisky, back when he was still governor.

Oh, and Julia Ioffe (kicked out from the Politico) mentioned them two raskals in her latest (unreadable) article for the Atlantic - What Putin really wants .

[Dec 25, 2017] Sigh, Russian pranksters fool UN ambassador Nikki Haley, makes up a new country and the stupid Haley believes it

Binomo as a new county. Ohh those russians...
Dec 24, 2017 | www.moonofalabama.org

Nikki Haley's Binomo: UN Ambassador Duped By Russian Pranksters

December 24, 2017 Hunter Wallace Foreign Policy , Humor , MAGA , Neocons 27

I'm dying :

"The US ambassador to the United Nations has fallen victim to a phone prank perpetrated by a famous Russian duo, with whom she discussed the affairs of a fictional South China Sea island nation and the alleged harassment of the Ukrainian president by Kevin Spacey.

Notorious Russian pranksters Vladimir Kuznetsov (Vovan) and Alexey Stolyarov (Lexus) have managed to one-up the US government by calling Nikki Haley and tricking her into thinking that she was speaking with Polish Prime Minister Mateusz Morawiecki.

During the phone conversation, the pranksters probed Haley's opinion about the island nation of Binomo -- a fictional country located in the South China Sea not far from Vietnam, and invented by Vovan and Lexus for that occasion. "

When the pranksters told Haley that the country recently proclaimed independence and that the Russians have meddled in the elections held there she immediately replied "of course they did!" The ambassador also stated that the US is aware of the situation that it will continue to monitor it closely just as Washington deals with all issues "that keep coming up in the South China Sea." "

Skip to 11:25.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/9RgXL7byTF0 >

[Dec 24, 2017] Angelina Jolie write article with Nato chief!

Dec 24, 2017 | www.moonofalabama.org

Anonynmous | Dec 24, 2017 11:43:11 AM | 25

You cant make this up, Bimbo actor Angelina Jolie write article with Nato chief!

http://russia-insider.com/en/jens-stoltenberg-and-angelina-jolie-call-nato-intervention-promote-gender-equality/ri21993

Ort , Dec 24, 2017 11:58:23 AM | 26

Fröhliche Weihnachten, B und alles!

I hope my virtually-unused high school German isn't too rusty after 45 years. ;)
____________________________________

@ Anonynmous | 25

The spectacle of Jens Stoltenberg and Angelina Jolie posturing as identity-politics paragons is... speaking of German, once again I wish for one of those unique German compound words that express a commonplace binary emotion: in this case, simultaneous amusement and annoyance.

So I'm making one up: lustigärgerlich . I find this bumptious odd couple lustigärgerlich.

To make a timely parallel, it's as if during the first Christmas, King Herod and Salome issued a proclamation urging the populace to be especially kind and considerate to children everywhere.

dh , Dec 24, 2017 12:05:06 PM | 28
@25, 26....That's the way it works. Any male who doesn't agree is a misogynist.

Brads Pitt is dating again BTW....but he's taking it very slowly.

http://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/1137484/brad-pitt-is-dating-again

[Dec 23, 2017] Slovenia is among the Coalition of the 128 NOT willing to be punked by USA. Melania better keep a low profile around Trump and Nikki

Dec 23, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com

Northern Star , , December 21, 2017 at 1:13 pm

Uh Oh Slovenia is among the Coalition of the 128 NOT willing to be punked by USA..

Maybe some panic stricken late night 911 DV calls from the WH??

Melania better keep a low profile around Trump and Nikki !!!!!! LOL!!

Jen , December 21, 2017 at 2:48 pm
India was naughty as well and Nimrata Nikki Randhawa Haley ought to have taken the Indian ambassador's name down as well. Maybe she'll even declare she won't ever set foot in India again. Her relatives there will breathe sighs of relief!
Cortes , December 21, 2017 at 4:27 pm
She's made herself untouchable.
Jen , December 21, 2017 at 8:03 pm
Ha ha!
Moscow Exile , December 21, 2017 at 8:41 pm
She makes me Sikh

[Dec 19, 2017] Mark Ames Kathy Lally Was Caught Trying To Censor Journalism In Russia and Now Deceitfully Claims She's a Victim

Dec 19, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

We accompanied that with a prank in which we posed as Potanin calling the Washington Wizards for courtside seats, Harvard University business school to purchase a degree, and the Augusta National Golf Club -- brandishing Hiatt's article for access:

eXile : I am Russian banker, so-called robber baron capitalist, am interested in purchasing your degree.

Harvard : ( pause ) Uh, sir, you can't buy the degree, but you can enroll in our program. It's an intensive 9 week program, and you receive a certificate, not a degree.

eXile : No, this is no good. Do you realize who I am? Fred Hiatt wrote about me in today Washington Post, that I am not typical robber baron. I am ze baby billionaire.

Harvard : We read a lot about Russia and it sounds very exciting.

eXile : Of course it exciting. Now I vant Harvard degree.

Harvard : You can't buy a degree.

eXile : Maybe instead I build nice cafe for you on campus. Or I can donate small nightclub for Harvard degree.

Harvard : Sir, Harvard is a 350-year-old institution. It's not all just about money. We've turned down princes.

eXile : NOT ABOUT MONEY? Hah!

[Dec 09, 2017] The Year of the Headless [neo]Liberal Chicken

Notable quotes:
"... No, the corporate ruling classes' endgame here is to reestablish neoliberal "normality," so we can get back to the War on Terror (or whatever they'll be calling it by then), and put this neo-nationalist revolt against neoliberalism episode behind us. To do that, they will need to install some sort of hopey-changey, Obama-like messiah, or at least somebody who can play the part of POTUS like a normal person and not sit around the Oval Office gobbling McDonald's and retweeting racist memes by random British fascists. ..."
Dec 09, 2017 | www.counterpunch.org

According to the Chinese zodiac, 2017 has been the Year of the Rooster. Myself, I've decided to designate it the Year of the Headless [neo]Liberal Chicken. I don't mean that to be insulting or, all right, I guess I do, a little. But my heart goes out to [neo]Liberals, seriously. At this point, the amount of utterly baseless, contradictory propaganda, mass hysteria, and just flat out insanity the ruling classes have demanded they swallow is more than any human mind, no matter how medicated, could possibly handle. Is it any wonder so many of them of lost it and started seeing Nazis and Russians coming out of the woodwork? Just consider what the average liberal has been forced to try to cognitively reconcile since the tragic events of last November

First came the overwhelming shock of Hillary Clinton's loss to Trump, a repulsive, word salad-babbling buffoon with absolutely no political experience who the media had been portraying to [neo]Liberals as the Second Coming of Adolf Hitler. This was a candidate, let's recall, who jabbered about building a "beautiful wall" to protect us from the hordes of "Mexican rapists" and other "bad hombres" who were invading America, and who had boasted about grabbing women "by the pussy" like a prepubescent 6th grade boy. While he had served as a perfect foil for Clinton, and had provided hours of entertainment in a comic book villain kind of way, the prospect of a Donald Trump presidency was inconceivable in the minds of [neo]Liberals. So, when it happened, it was like the Martians had invaded.

Mass hysteria gripped the nation. There was beaucoup wailing and gnashing of teeth. [neo]Liberals began exhibiting irrational and, in some cases, rather disturbing behaviors. Many degenerated into dissociative states and just sat there with their phones for hours obsessively reloading the popular vote count, which Clinton had won, on FiveThirtyEight. Others festooned themselves with safety pins and went out looking for defenseless minorities who they could "demonstrate solidarity" with. Owen Jones flew in from London to join his colleague Steven Thrasher, who was organizing a guerilla force to resist " the normalization of Trump " and the global race war he was about to launch, which "not all of us were going to get out of alive."

In the weeks immediately following the election, the mainstream media inundated [neo]Liberals with pronouncements of the advent of an " Age of Darkness " and the " Triumph of White Supremacy " over the beneficent values of Globalism. Yes, it was pretty much the end of everything . America was facing nothing less than a descent into " racial Orwellianism ," " Zionist anti-Semitism ," and " the bottomless pit of Fascism " itself. [neo]Liberals, who by then had dispensed with the safety pins, immediately set about terrorizing their children with visions of the impending holocaust , which would be carried out by the genocidal, racist monsters who had voted for Trump.

At that point, the media had been hammering hard on the Trump-is-Hitler narrative for months, so they had to stick with that for a while. It had only been a few weeks, after all, since The Wall Street Journal The New York Times The Washington Post The Guardian , and numerous other establishment publications , had explained how Trump was using special fascist code words like "global elites," "international banks," and "lobbyists" to signal his virulent hatred of the Jews to the millions of Americans who, according to the media, were secretly Hitler-loving fascists.

This initial post-election propaganda was understandably somewhat awkward, as the plan had been to be able to celebrate the "Triumph of Love over the Forces of Hate," and the demise of the latest Hitlerian bogeyman. But this was the risk the ruling classes took when they chose to go ahead and Hitlerize Trump, which they wouldn't have done if they'd thought for a moment that he had a chance of actually winning the election. That's the tricky thing about Hitlerizing people. You need to be able to kill them, eventually. If you don't, when they turn out not to be Hitler, your narrative kind of falls apart, and the people you've fear-mongered into a frenzy of frothing, self-righteous fake-Hitler-hatred end up feeling like a bunch of dupes who'll believe anything the government tells them. This is why, normally, you only Hitlerize foreign despots you can kill with impunity. This is Hitlerization 101 stuff, which the ruling classes ignored in this case, which the left poor [neo]Liberals terrified that Trump was actually going to start building Trump-branded death camps and rounding up the Jews.

Fortunately, just in the nick of time, the ruling classes and their media mouthpieces rolled out the Russian Propaganda story. The Washington Post (whose owner's multimillion dollar deal with the CIA, of course, has absolutely no effect on the quality of its professional journalism) led the charge with this McCarthyite smear job , legitimizing the baseless allegations of some random website and a think tank staffed by charlatans like this "Russia expert," who appears not to speak a word of Russian or have any other "Russia expert" credentials, but is available both for television and Senate Intelligence Committee appearances. Numerous similar smear pieces followed. [neo]Liberals breathed a big sigh of relief that Hitler business had been getting kind of scary. How long can you go, after all, with Hitler stumbling around the White House before somebody has to go in there and shoot him?

In any event, by January, the media were playing down the Hitler stuff and going balls-out on the "Russiagate" story. According to The Washington Post (which, let's remember, is a serious newspaper, as opposed to a propaganda organ of the so-called US "Intelligence Community"), not only had the Russians "hacked" the election, but they had hacked the Vermont power grid ! Editorialists at The New York Times were declaring that Trump " had been appointed by Putin ," and that the USA was now "at war" with Russia. This was also around the time when [neo]Liberals first learned of the Trump-Russia Dossier , which detailed how Putin was blackmailing Trump with a video the FSB had shot of Trump and a bunch of Russian hookers peeing on a bed in a Moscow hotel in which Obama had allegedly slept.

This nonsense was reported completely straight-faced, and thus [neo]Liberals were forced to take it seriously. Imagine the cognitive dissonance they suffered. It was like that scene in 1984 when the Party abruptly switches enemies, and the war with Eurasia becomes the war with Eastasia. Suddenly, Trump wasn't Hitler anymore. Now he was a Russian sleeper agent who Putin had been blackmailing into destroying democracy with this incriminating "golden showers" video. Putin had presumably been "running" Trump since Trump's visit to Russia in 2013 to hobnob with "Russia-linked" Russian businessmen and attend the Miss Universe pageant in Moscow. During the ensuing partying, Trump must have gotten loaded on Diet Coke and gotten carried away with those Russian hookers. Now, Putin had him by the short hairs and was forcing him to staff his Manchurian cabinet with corporate CEOs and Goldman Sachs guys, who probably had also been videotaped by the FSB in Moscow hotels paying hookers to pee on furniture, or performing whatever other type of seditious, perverted kink they were into.

Before the poor [neo]Liberals had time to process this, the ruling classes launched "the Resistance." You remember the Pussyhat People , don't you? And the global corporate PR campaign which accompanied their historic "Womens' March" on Washington? Do you remember [neo]Liberals like Michael Moore shrieking for the feds to arrest Donald Trump ? Or publications like The New York Times Salon , and many others, and even State Satirist Stephen Colbert accusing Trump and anyone who supported him of treason a crime, let's recall, that is punishable by death? Do you remember folks like William Kristol and Rob "the Meathead" Reiner demanding that the "deep state" launch a coup against Trump to rescue America from the Russian infiltrators?

Ironically, the roll-out of this "Russiagate" hysteria was so successful that it peaked too soon, and prematurely backlashed all over itself. By March, when Trump had not been arrested, nor otherwise removed from office, [neo]Liberals, who by that time the corporate media had teased into an incoherent, throbbing state of anticipation were well, rather disappointed. By April, they were exhibiting all the hallmark symptoms of clinical psychosis. This mental breakdown was due to the fact that the media pundits and government spooks who had been telling them that Trump was Hitler, and then a Russian sleeper agent, were now telling them that he wasn't so bad , because he'd pointlessly bombed a Syrian airstrip, and dropped a $314 million Massive Ordnance Air Blast bomb on some alleged "terrorist caves" in Afghanistan.

As if [neo]Liberals' poor brains weren't rattled enough, the corporate media then switched back to, first, the Russian Propaganda narrative (which they expanded into a global threat), then, the Hitler stuff again, but this time Trump wasn't actually Hitler, because Putin was Hitler, or at least he was fomenting Hitlerism throughout the West with his legions of fascist hacker bots who were "influencing" unsuspecting consumers with their blitzkrieg of divisive "fake news" stories. Oh, yeah, and now Putin had also done Brexit , or Trump and Robert Mercer had, but they were working for Putin, who had also hacked the French election that he hadn't hacked , or whatever this was no time to worry about what had or hadn't actually happened. The peace and prosperity President Obama had reestablished throughout the West by incessantly bombing the Greater Middle East and bailing out his pals at the Wall Street banks was being torn asunder by Vladimir Putin, who at some point had apparently metamorphosized from a ruthless, former KGB autocrat into a white supremacist megalomaniac.

Right on cue, on the weekend of August 11-12 in Charlottesville, Virginia, where there had never been any history of racism , a "national gathering" of approximately five hundred tiki torch-bearing neo-Nazis, Ku Klux Klan types, and other white supremacists, many of them barking Nazi slogans, marched into the pages of history. Never before have so few fascists owed so much to the mainstream media, which showered them with overwrought coverage, triggering a national Nazi panic. [neo]Liberals poured into the streets, tearing down Confederate monuments, and otherwise signaling their total intolerance of the racism they had tolerated until a few days earlier. People named after Robert E. Lee , and horses named after General Lee's horse , went into hiding to until the panic subsided. This was wise, as by then the so-called anti-fascists were showing up in force at anything resembling a right-wing rally and stomping the living Hitler out of Nazis, and Trump supporters, and journalists, and well, anyone they didn't think looked quite right. This totally preemptively self-defensive, non-violent type of violent behavior, naturally, shocked and horrified [neo]Liberals, who are strongly opposed to all forms of violence that aren't carried out by the US military, or the police, or someone else wearing a uniform. Unsure as to whom they were supposed to condemn, the Nazis or the Antifa terrorists, they turned for guidance to the corporate ruling classes, who informed them it was time to censor the Internet

This made about as much sense as any of the other nonsense they'd been spoonfed so far, so [neo]Liberals decided to get behind it, or at least look the other way while it happened. Facebook, Google, Amazon, Twitter (and all the other corporations that control the Internet, the media, Hollywood, the publishing industry, and every other means of representing "reality") surely have people's best interests at heart. Plus, they're only censoring the Nazis, and the terrorists, and the Russian "fake news" disseminators, and, OK, a lot of leftist publications, and award-winning journalists , and anyone else espousing "divisive," anti-American, or anti-corporate, "extremist" views.

Look, I know what you're probably thinking, but it isn't like [neo]Liberals don't actually care about fundamental liberal values like freedom of the press and speech and all that. It's just that they desperately need the Democrats to take back the House and the Senate next year, so they can get on with impeaching Trump, and if they have to stand by while the corporations suppress a little leftist dissent, or, you know, transform the entire Internet into a massive, mind-numbing echo chamber of neo-McCarthyite corporate conformity well, sacrifices have to be made.

This can't go on forever, after all. This level of full-blown mass hysteria can only be sustained for so long. It's all fine and good to be able to whip people up into a frenzied mob, but at some point you need to have an endgame. The neoliberal ruling classes know this. Their endgame is actually fairly simple. Their plan is to (a) make an example of Trump to discourage any future billionaire idiots from screwing with their simulation of democracy, and (b) demonize anyone deviating from neoliberal ideology as a fascist, racist, or anti-Semite, or otherwise "abnormal" or "extremist." Their plan is not to incinerate the entire planet in a war with Russia. We're not on the brink of World War III, despite how many Twitter likes or Facebook shares it might get me to say that. Yes, eventually, they want to force Russia to return to the kind of "cooperation" it engaged in during the 1990s, when it was run by an incorrigible drunkard and the Goldman Sachs boys and their oligarch pals were looting the country for all it was worth but that has little to do with all this.

No, the corporate ruling classes' endgame here is to reestablish neoliberal "normality," so we can get back to the War on Terror (or whatever they'll be calling it by then), and put this neo-nationalist revolt against neoliberalism episode behind us. To do that, they will need to install some sort of hopey-changey, Obama-like messiah, or at least somebody who can play the part of POTUS like a normal person and not sit around the Oval Office gobbling McDonald's and retweeting racist memes by random British fascists.

The way things are going, that might take a while, but rest assured they'll get there eventually. Now that Robert Mueller has proved that Trump colluded with Vladimir Putin by obstructing an investigation by Comey into Michael Flynn's lying to the FBI about not colluding with the Russian ambassador on behalf of Israel at Kushner's behest, the dominoes are surely about to fall. Once they all have, and Donald Trump's head has been mounted on a spike on the White House lawn as a warning to any other potential usurpers, all this Russia and Nazi hysteria that has the poor [neo]Liberals running around like headless chickens will disappear. Russia will go back to being Russia. The North American Nazi Menace, deprived of daily media coverage, will go back to being a fringe phenomenon. [neo]Liberals will go back to ignoring politics (except identity politics, naturally) and obediently serving the global capitalist ruling elites that are destroying the planet, and the lives of millions of human beings, in order to increase their profit margins. Sure, there'll be a brief emotional hangover, once the adrenaline rush wears off and they look back at their tweets and Facebook posts, which in hindsight might convey the impression that they spent the better part of a year parroting whatever insane propaganda the corporate media pumped out at them, and otherwise behaving like Good Americans but then, that's what the "delete" key is for. Join the debate on Facebook More articles by: CJ Hopkins C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org .

[Dec 07, 2017] A truly hilarious skit spoofing Chuck Hagel's hearing, that the public didn't get to see. Well worth viewing.

Dec 05, 2017 | www.unz.com
https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2ce_1360619328

[Dec 06, 2017] Is it true that there is a statue of Saint Hillary Our Lady of the Van Toss in the foyer of the FBI's DC headquarters?

Dec 06, 2017 | www.zerohedge.com

Whoa Dammit -> yaright , Dec 6, 2017 12:27 PM

Is it true that there is a statue of Saint Hillary Our Lady of the Van Toss in the foyer of the FBI's DC headquarters?

[Nov 30, 2017] The Dog that Didn't Bark, by If the neoliberal dogma forbids taxing, if the offshore are sacred, what remains for a diligent leader but a plush five-star hotel and a band of experienced torturers?

Nov 30, 2017 | www.unz.com

Hundreds of other princes and gentlemen were tortured, too, until they agreed to surrender their ill-gotten assets, 70% of all they have. As I write, and as you read these lines, the torture goes on, and so far MBS has already milked his victims of hundreds of billions $$ worth of cash and assets.

"An Extortion racket", you'll exclaim. Perhaps MBS watched The Godfather in his impressionable youth and was impressed by efficiency of their methods. However, he has solved, or rather is in the process of solving, the problem of solvency.

Perhaps this is the method to be advised to Trump and Putin, as well as to other leaders? If the neoliberal dogma forbids taxing, if the offshore are sacred, what remains for a diligent leader but a plush five-star hotel and a band of experienced torturers?

[Nov 08, 2017] Top-Ten Criteria for being a Putin Stooge, and a Chance at Winning A One Way Lottery Ticket to the Gala Gitmo Hotel

Nov 08, 2017 | consortiumnews.com

Extracted from comments to Learning to Love McCarthyism By Robert Parry

Howard Mettee , November 6, 2017 at 4:50 pm

Bob,

You are one of the very few critical journalists today willing to print objective measures of the truth, while the MSM spins out of control under the guise of "protecting America" (and their vital sources), while at the same time actually undermining the very principles of a working democracy they sanctimoniously pretend to defend. It makes me nostalgic for the McCarthy era, when we could safely satirize the Army-McCarthy Hearings (unless you were a witness!). I offer the following as a retrospective of a lost era.:

Top-Ten Criteria for being a Putin Stooge, and a Chance at Winning A One Way Lottery Ticket to the Gala Gitmo Hotel:

(1) Reading Consortium News, Truth Dig, The Real News Network, RT and Al Jeziera

(2) Drinking Starbucks and vodka at the Russian Tea Room with Russian tourists (with an embedded FSS agent) in NYC.

(3) Meeting suspicious tour guides in Red Square who accept dollars for their historical jokes.

(4) Claiming to catch a cell phone photo of the Putin limousine passing through the Kremlin Tower gate.

(4) Starting a joint venture with a Russian trading partner who sells grain to feed Putin's stable of stallions.

(5) Catching the flu while being sneezed upon in Niagara Falls by a Russian violinist.

(6) Finding the hidden jewels in the Twelfth Chair were nothing but cut glass.

(7) Reading War and Peace on the Brighton Beach ferry.

(8) Playing the iPod version of Rachmaninoff's "Vespers" through ear buds while attending mass in Dallas, TX..

(9) Water skiing on the Potomac flying a pennant saying "Wasn't Boris Good Enough?"

(10) Having audibly chuckled even once at items (1) -- (9).

Abe , November 6, 2017 at 5:45 pm

The Russia-gate "witch-hunt" has graduated from McCarthyism to full Monty Pythonism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3jt5ibfRzw

[Nov 07, 2017] The deep economic complementarily of Ukraine and Europe. We have prostitutes; you have johns. Let's make a deal

Nov 06, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com

November 6, 2017 at 1:02 pm

Did not the Kremlin Stooges predict this years ago?

http://theduran.com/new-migration-data-shows-every-fourth-prostitute-europe-citizen-ukraine/

The international organization for migration has published official data which shows that every fourth prostitute in Europe is a citizen of Ukraine.

The article discusses pamphlets that are distributed to young Ukrainian girls/women advising them on how to survive and flourish in new realities of life in the EU.

the Ukrainian labor market is being formed and is growing. Even if there is no other work and none is expected, girls should know that Europe will take care of them. The younger generation of Ukrainian schoolgirls will find out how to apply themselves If you are involved in the sex business, then this brochure is for you," it is said in the introduction. "You have chosen a very dangerous profession, but if you always follow these simple rules, then you will get a chance to live a long life You shouldn't serve several clients alone, you should avoid drunk clients, and also always to take payment in advance. And when you go to the client's apartment, try to learn in what district of the city it is located, give preference to hotels".

marknesop , November 6, 2017 at 1:15 pm

It's okay if you're a hooker, and all you have to sell is yourself. You have chosen a dangerous profession, but really the writing was on the wall, wasn't it, if only you'd had sense to read it? And the economic calamity which has come to pass in your country is really no concern of ours, while for our part we are not too upset at being offered the choice of some of the most beautiful young women on the planet, who will do anything you say for a handful of euros.

Here's to your bright new future in the EU. Incredible. I wonder if Poroshenko will tout this statistic as another validation of Ukrainians' confidence in his leadership.

Ryan Ward , November 7, 2017 at 5:44 am
Either that or the deep economic complementarity of Ukraine and Europe. We have prostitutes; you have johns. Let's make a deal

[Nov 04, 2017] Who's Afraid of Corporate COINTELPRO by C. J. Hopkins

Highly recommended!
These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much deeper level.
Notable quotes:
"... I am using the Orwellian verb "unperson" playfully, but I'm also trying to be precise. What's happening isn't censorship, technically, at least not in the majority of cases. While there are examples of classic censorship (e.g., in the UK, France, and Germany), apart from so-called "terrorist content," most governments aren't formally banning expressions of anti-corporatist dissent. This isn't Czechoslovakia, after all. This is global capitalism, where the repression of dissent is a little more subtle. The point of Google unpersoning CounterPunch (and probably many other publications) and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists like Hedges is not to prevent them from publishing their work or otherwise render them invisible to readers. The goal is to delegitmize them, and thus decrease traffic to their websites and articles, and ultimately drive them out of business, if possible. ..."
"... Another objective of this non-censorship censorship is discouraging writers like myself from contributing to publications like CounterPunch, Truthdig, Alternet, Global Research, and any other publications the corporatocracy deems "illegitimate." Google unpersoning a writer like Hedges is a message to other non-ball-playing writers. The message is, "this could happen to you." This message is meant for other journalists, primarily, but it's also aimed at writers like myself who are making a living (to whatever degree) writing and selling what we think of as "literature." ..."
"... These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much deeper level. ..."
"... Chomsky explains how this system operates in What Makes Mainstream Media Mainstream . It isn't a question of censorship the system operates on rewards and punishments, financial and emotional coercion, and subtler forms of intimidation. Making examples of non-cooperators is a particularly effective tactic. Ask any one of the countless women whose careers have been destroyed by Harvey Weinstein, or anyone who's been to graduate school, or worked at a major corporation. ..."
"... C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org . ..."
Nov 04, 2017 | www.unz.com

On November 30, 2016, presumably right at the stroke of midnight, Google Inc. unpersoned CounterPunch. They didn't send out a press release or anything. They just quietly removed it from the Google News aggregator. Not very many people noticed. This happened just as the "fake news" hysteria was being unleashed by the corporate media, right around the time The Washington Post ran this neo-McCarthyite smear piece vicariously accusing CounterPunch, and a number of other publications, of being "peddlers of Russian propaganda." As I'm sure you'll recall, that astounding piece of "journalism" (which The Post was promptly forced to disavow with an absurd disclaimer but has refused to retract) was based on the claims of an anonymous website apparently staffed by a couple of teenagers and a formerly rabidly anti-Communist, now rabidly anti-Putin think tank. Little did most people know at the time that these were just the opening salvos in what has turned out to be an all-out crackdown on any and all forms of vocal opposition to the global corporate ruling classes and their attempts to quash the ongoing nationalist backlash against their neoliberal agenda.

Almost a year later, things are much clearer. If you haven't been following this story closely, and you care at all about freedom of the press, freedom of speech, and that kind of stuff, you may want to take an hour or two and catch up a bit on what's been happening. I offered a few examples of some of the measures governments and corporations have been taking to stifle expressions of dissent in my latest piece in CounterPunch , and there are many more detailed articles online, like this one by Andre Damon from July, and this follow-up he published last week (which reports that Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author Chris Hedges has also been unpersoned). Or, if you're the type of soul who only believes what corporations tell you, and who automatically dismisses anything published by a Trotskyist website, here's one from last December in The Guardian , and an op-ed in The New York Times , both of which at least report what Google, Twitter, and Facebook are up to. Or you could read this piece by Robert Parry , who also has "legitimate" (i.e., corporate) credentials, and who hasn't been unpersoned just yet, although I'm sure they'll get around to him eventually.

I am using the Orwellian verb "unperson" playfully, but I'm also trying to be precise. What's happening isn't censorship, technically, at least not in the majority of cases. While there are examples of classic censorship (e.g., in the UK, France, and Germany), apart from so-called "terrorist content," most governments aren't formally banning expressions of anti-corporatist dissent. This isn't Czechoslovakia, after all. This is global capitalism, where the repression of dissent is a little more subtle. The point of Google unpersoning CounterPunch (and probably many other publications) and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists like Hedges is not to prevent them from publishing their work or otherwise render them invisible to readers. The goal is to delegitmize them, and thus decrease traffic to their websites and articles, and ultimately drive them out of business, if possible.

Another objective of this non-censorship censorship is discouraging writers like myself from contributing to publications like CounterPunch, Truthdig, Alternet, Global Research, and any other publications the corporatocracy deems "illegitimate." Google unpersoning a writer like Hedges is a message to other non-ball-playing writers. The message is, "this could happen to you." This message is meant for other journalists, primarily, but it's also aimed at writers like myself who are making a living (to whatever degree) writing and selling what we think of as "literature."

Yes, as you've probably guessed by now, in addition to writing political satire, I am, as rogue journalist Caitlin Johnstone so aptly put it once, an "elitist wanker." I've spent the majority of my adult life writing stage plays and working in the theater, and it doesn't get any more elitist than that. My plays are published by "establishment" publishers, have won a few awards, and have been produced internationally. I recently published my "debut novel" (which is what you call it if you're an elitist wanker) and am currently trying to promote and sell it. I mention this, not to blow my little horn, but to the set the stage to try to illustrate how these post-Orwellian intimidation tactics (i.e., unpersoning people from the Internet) work. These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much deeper level.

The depressing fact of the matter is, in our brave new Internet-dominated world, corporations like Google, Twitter, and Facebook (not to mention Amazon), are, for elitist wankers like me, in the immortal words of Colonel Kurz, "either friends or they are truly enemies to be feared." If you are in the elitist wanker business, regardless of whether you're Jonathan Franzen, Garth Risk Hallberg, Margaret Atwood, or some "mid-list" or "emerging" author, there is no getting around these corporations. So it's kind of foolish, professionally speaking, to write a bunch of essays that will piss them off, and then publish these essays in CounterPunch. Literary agents advise against this. Other elitist literary wankers, once they discover what you've been doing, will avoid you like the bubonic plague. Although it's perfectly fine to write books and movies about fictional evil corporations, writing about how real corporations are using their power to mold societies into self-policing virtual prisons of politically-correct, authoritarian consumers is well, it's something that is just not done in professional elitist wanker circles.

Normally, all this goes without saying, as these days most elitist wankers are trained how to write, and read, and think, in MFA conformity factories, where they screen out any unstable weirdos with unhealthy interests in political matters. This is to avoid embarrassing episodes like Harold Pinter's Nobel Prize lecture (which, if you haven't read it, you probably should), and is why so much of contemporary literature is so well-behaved and instantly forgettable. This institutionalized screening system is also why the majority of journalists employed by mainstream media outlets understand, without having to be told, what they are, and are not, allowed to report. Chomsky explains how this system operates in What Makes Mainstream Media Mainstream . It isn't a question of censorship the system operates on rewards and punishments, financial and emotional coercion, and subtler forms of intimidation. Making examples of non-cooperators is a particularly effective tactic. Ask any one of the countless women whose careers have been destroyed by Harvey Weinstein, or anyone who's been to graduate school, or worked at a major corporation.

Or let me provide you with a personal example.

A couple weeks ago, I googled myself (which we elitist wankers are wont to do), and noticed that two of my published books had disappeared from the "Knowledge Panel" that appears in the upper right of the search results. I also noticed that the people "People Also Search For" in the panel had changed. For years, consistently, the people you saw there had been a variety of other elitist literary wankers and leftist types. Suddenly, they were all rather right-wing types, people like Ilana Mercer and John Derbyshire, and other VDARE writers. So that was a little disconcerting.

I set out to contact the Google Search specialists to inquire about this mysterious development, and was directed to a series of unhelpful web pages directing me to other unhelpful pages with little boxes where you can write and submit a complaint to Google, which they will completely ignore. Being an elitist literary wanker, I also wrote to Google Books, and exchanged a number of cordial emails with an entity (let's call her Ms. O'Brien) who explained that, for "a variety of reasons," the "visibility" of my books (which had been consistently visible for many years) was subject to change from day to day, and that, regrettably, she couldn't assist me further, and that sending her additional cordial emails was probably a pointless waste of time. Ms. O'Brien was also pleased to report that my books had been restored to "visibility," which, of course, when I checked, they hadn't.

"Whatever," I told myself, "this is silly. It's probably just some IT thing, maybe Google Books updating its records, or something." However, I was still perplexed by the "People Also Search For" switcheroo, because it's kind of misleading to link my writing to that of a bunch of serious right-wingers. Imagine, if you were a dystopian sci-fi fan, and you googled me to check out my book and see what else I had written, and so on, and my Google "Knowledge Panel" popped up and displayed all these far-right VDARE folks. Unless you're a far-right VDARE type yourself, that might be a little bit of a turn-off.

At that point, I wondered if I was getting paranoid. Because Google Search runs on algorithms, right? And my political satire and commentary is published, not only in CounterPunch, but also in The Unz Review, where these far-right-wing types are also published. Moreover, my pieces are often reposted by what appear to be "Russia-linked" websites, and everyone knows that the Russians are all a bunch of white supremacists, right? On top of which, it's not like I'm Stephen King here. I am hardly famous enough to warrant the attention of any post-Orwellian corporate conspiracy to stigmatize anti-establishment dissent by manipulating how authors are displayed on Google (i.e., subtly linking them to white supremacists, anti-Semites, and others of that ilk).

So, okay, I reasoned, what probably happened was over the course of twenty-four hours, for no logical reason whatsoever, all the folks who had been googling me (along with other leftist and literary figures) suddenly stopped googling me, all at once, while, more or less at the exact same time, hundreds of right-wingers started googling me (along with those white supremacist types they had, theoretically, already been googling). That kind of makes sense when you think about it, right? I mean, Google couldn't be doing this intentionally. It must have been some sort of algorithm that detected this sudden, seismic shift in the demographic of people googling me.

Or, I don't know, does that possibly sound like a desperate attempt to rationalize the malicious behavior of an unaccountable, more or less god-like, global corporation that wields the power of life and death over my book sales and profile on the Internet (a more or less god-like global corporation that could do a lot of additional damage to my sales and reputation with complete impunity once the piece you're reading is published)? Or am I simply getting paranoid, and, in fact, I've developed a secret white supremacist fan base without my knowledge? Only Google knows for sure.

Such are the conundrums elitist literary wankers have to face these days that is, those of us wankers who haven't learned to keep our fucking mouths shut yet. Probably the safest course of action, regardless of whether I'm being paranoid or Google does have me on some kind of list, is to lay off the anti-corporatist essays, and definitely stop contributing to CounterPunch, not to mention The Unz Review, and probably also give up the whole dystopian satire novel thing, and ensure that my second novel conforms to the "normal" elitist wanker rules (which every literary wanker knows, but which, technically, do not exist). Who knows, if I play my cards right, maybe I can even sell the rights to Miramax, or okay, some other corporation.

Once that happens, I assume that Google will want to restore me to normal personhood, and return my books to visibility, and I will ride off into the Hollywood sunset with the Clintons, Clooneys, and Pichais, and maybe even Barack Obama himself, if he isn't off jet skiing with Richard Branson, or having dinner with Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos, who just happen to live right down the street, or hawking the TPP on television. By that time, CounterPunch and all those other "illegitimate" publications will have been forced onto the dark web anyway, so I won't be giving up all that much. I know, that sounds pretty cold and cynical, but my liberal friends will understand I just hope all my new white supremacist fans will find it in their hearts to forgive me.

C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org .

anonymous , • Disclaimer November 3, 2017 at 12:15 pm GMT

Thank you for mustering the courage and then taking the time to spell out these outrages in a straightforward, unemotional way. I've appreciated the humor that centers your other essays, but there's not a damned thing funny about this.

But why are things as they are? With billions aplenty, our rulers must be driven by their libido dominandi. We're left to wonder only whether they get off more on ostracizing the Hopkinses, on buying the politicians, or on herding the sheep from bathrooms to statues to flags.

[Oct 30, 2017] Russian Content May Have Reached 126 Million Facebook Users, There Is Just One Catch

Oct 30, 2017 | www.zerohedge.com

... having spent $100,000 on Facebook ads, and unleashed a troll army to wrote Facebook posts - which had a 0.004% change of being read - Putin then went for the kill, and assured himself a Trump presidency by splurging another $4,700 for Google ads and creating an additional 43 hours of video content. The rest is history.

[Oct 28, 2017] A Review of What Happened by an Author Who Insists He Has Never Heard of Hillary Clinton or the 2016 Election Politics by Emmett Rensin

Hilarious and very sharp critique of the new Hillary book. What Happened ,
Oct 04, 2017 | www.pastemagazine.com

Throughout What Happened , Clinton gives us a taste of her literary influences, beginning each section, and each chapter, and sometimes inserting inside of chapters, quotations from Harriet Tubman, Friedrich Nietzsche, A League of Their Own , Rainer Maria Rilke, Eleanor Roosevelt, TS Eliot, George Bernard Shaw, Carl Sandburg, "a sign in my house", Nora Ephron, Muriel Rukeyser, JM Barrie, Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, Flannery O'Connor, WB Yeats, "a Chinese proverb", "an African proverb", Fyodor Dostoevsky, Robert Frost, John F. Kennedy, Nelson Mandela , Henry James, and Pope John XIII. I do not know who any of those people are. It seems I've lost them along with every other person in this book. But from the quotations, you can tell that each of them is an advocate for kindness, perseverance, truth, and decency. You can see how each of them helped shape Clinton and her thoughts.

After learning so much about Clinton, it is difficult to read her account of the campaign itself when it arrives slightly more than halfway through the book. It is terrible to witness the tragedy unfold. Clinton ran for president, she says early on, because she "thought I would be good at the job." Others agree, including the current president, Barack Obama , who announces at her convention that she is the most qualified candidate to ever run despite -- Clinton notes -- their disagreement on issues including environmental regulation and an unspecified conflict in Syria (their respective positions are not detailed; however, my research indicates that Clinton was widely believed to be "the most progressive candidate" in history, so one imagines that she disapproved of President Obama's bellicose stance on the issue). But despite her qualifications, or perhaps due to them, Clinton endures a cruelty and depth of opposition unlike anything endured by a candidate for the presidency before her.

First, she faces a primary against a disruptive charlatan. Senator Bernie Sanders is not a Democrat, she tells us, but a socialist attempting to "disrupt" the party. Sanders is at once nearly identical to Clinton on the issues ("because we agreed on so much, Bernie couldn't make an argument against me in this area on policy, so he had to resort to innuendo and impugning my character," she writes) and hopelessly reactionary -- a man willing to compromise on Clinton's key issues of gun violence and racial justice in order to give free "ponies", "magic abs", and taxpayer-funded college education to rich children. Sanders' supporters are vicious -- Clinton calls them "Bernie Bros" twice in her book -- and go so far as to boo her at the Democratic National Convention. Sanders himself, despite campaigning for Clinton (something she graciously "appreciated"), refused to endorse her for nearly a month after the end of their contest. Despite Clinton's record and character, Sanders attacked her integrity even after the delegate math is done. This shameless new anti-Clinton strategy "[paves] the way for Donald Trump's 'Crooked Hillary' campaign" during the general and does "lasting damage" to the party.

None of this compares to what comes next. In a section called "Frustration," Clinton reveals that it was not only her Republican opponent who she was up against in the general election last year. Beyond Trump, Clinton must contend with a news media that operates under special "Clinton rules" designed to make all of her behavior appear nefarious, most notably a server management issue during her time at the State Department. She is attacked by Republican congressmen and Senators, who haul her before pointless special committees in order to score cheap political points on TV. She is "knifed" by FBI director James Comey, whose release of a damning and unprecedented letter only days before the election costs Clinton essential margins in several states. Beyond all of this, Clinton faces an unprecedented espionage effort by a man named Vladimir Putin. Putin, Clinton tells us, has a personal grudge against her born of her previous work as Secretary of State and in order to keep her from the presidency, he orders Russian intelligence services to attack her candidacy on all fronts.

The Russians seed propaganda through American social media networks. They steal internal emails from her campaign and release them at the most damaging possible times. They hack voting systems and even collaborate directly with members of Trump's campaign. This was an act of war, Clinton writes, and one cannot help but sense an unspoken anger at President Obama, who knew what was going on, but chose not to make a public declaration.

In other reviews of What Happened, I have seen the claim that Clinton refuses to take responsibility for her loss. Perhaps this is in reference to some other book or statement long since lost to my memory, because in this book, it simply isn't true. In nearly every chapter, Clinton repeats some version of the idea that the blame for losing the 2016 election rests with her alone. It is only that given everything else we learn -- given the "tribalism" of the electorate, the vendetta of the Russians, the opposition that she, like all subversive figures, faced from even her own state's secret police -- given all of those things and how all of those things are invariably mentioned either immediately before or immediately after any moment when Clinton takes responsibility for her defeat, given all of that it is difficult to escape the impression that while she might take the blame, no reasonable person would put the blame on Clinton.

Indeed the strangest element of What Happened is the widespread belief, both within and without the Clinton campaign, that she would win. I can only take her word that this was widely believed, but it is difficult to fathom. The Clinton I discovered in these pages was a radical. From the moment she left her position as president of Wellesley's Republican club (a detail she mentioned, much to my shock, in the book's final pages), Clinton fought relentlessly against the entrenched, reactionary forces of her nation. As a young woman, she demonstrated against the imperial war in Vietnam. As an attorney, she was on the front lines against Jim Crow. In public service, she stood up not only to despots like Vladimir Putin, but to the most powerful corporations in the United States, proposing redistributive taxes and "truly universal" health care, even flirting with a guaranteed basic income funded by capital derivatives from nationalized resource services.

Writing about the decline of American labor solidarity, Clinton writes that "being part of a union is an important part of someone's personal identity. It helps shape the way you view the world and think about politics. When that's gone, it means a lot of people stop identifying primarily as workers -- and voting accordingly -- and start identifying and voting as white, male, rural, or all of the above." This account of class-consciousness puts Clinton to the left of even celebrated American essayist Ta-Nehisi Coates. How could anyone be naïve enough to believe that her victory was guaranteed? She was a radical taking on the establishment and the establishment is never more vicious than when it is protecting itself from a figure who has proven herself willing and able to defeat them. For the Clinton of What Happened to win the Presidency in a country like the United States would have been miraculous. Nothing in the history I can remember suggests that this was ever likely.

[Oct 24, 2017] The Blind Justice Lady is real

Oct 24, 2017 | www.zerohedge.com

AlaricBalth -> Creepy_Azz_Crackaah , Oct 24, 2017 1:03 PM

"Our justice system is represented by a blind-folded woman holding a set of scales. Those scales do not tip to the right or the left; they do not recognize wealth, power, or social status. The impartiality of our justice system is the bedrock of our republic..."

Spewed coffee after reading this quote.

E.F. Mutton -> Gerry Fletcher , Oct 24, 2017 12:57 PM

The Blind Justice Lady is real, she just has a .45 at the back of her head held by Hillary

And don't even ask where Bill's finger is

[Oct 23, 2017] If granny had become POTUS there might have been a lot more radiation around the world because of her "charm".

Oct 23, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com

Moscow Exile , October 21, 2017 at 4:19 am

The re-modelling of Killary? Why does nobody mention that Hillary Clinton is perfectly nice? Hillary Clinton on The Graham Norton Show: no Paxman-style grilling, but the Democrat radiated grandmotherly charm

Who the fuck is this Norton bloke, anyway?

Moscow Exile , October 21, 2017 at 4:21 am
If granny had become POTUS there might have been a lot more radiation around the world because of her "charm".

[Oct 16, 2017] Intelligence Assessment of Russian Hacking or Collusion by Mike Whitney

Notable quotes:
"... If the Senate can 'assess,' so can I! I assess that Hollywood hottie Jenifer Lawrence is secretly in love with me! Although I can't prove this, all of my assessments point to this as being fact. ..."
Oct 14, 2017 | www.unz.com

Greg Bacon, Website October 14, 2017 at 9:59 am GMT

If the Senate can 'assess,' so can I! I assess that Hollywood hottie Jenifer Lawrence is secretly in love with me! Although I can't prove this, all of my assessments point to this as being fact.

liveload , October 13, 2017 7:07 PM

It just occurred to me that the perfect Halloween decoration this year would be a Russian flag. That is, unless someone comes out with a Zombie Putin, or Dracula Putin...

[Oct 13, 2017] Sympathy for the Corporatocracy by C. J. Hopkins

Highly recommended!
Biting satire...
Notable quotes:
"... The Tonight Show ..."
"... Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything, or the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and replaced with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which is merely a simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because exchange value is its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their eviscerated cultural values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer brands as they hunch together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on Facebook. ..."
"... No, this discontent with the political establishment, corporate elites, and the mainstream media has nothing to do with any of that. It's not like global Capitalism, following the collapse of the U.S.S.R. (its last external ideological adversary), has been restructuring the entire planet in accordance with its geopolitical interests, or doing away with national sovereignty, and other nationalistic concepts that no longer serve a useful purpose in a world where a single ideological system (one backed by the most fearsome military in history) reigns completely unopposed. If that were the case, well, it might behoove us to question whether this outbreak of Nazism, racism, and other forms of "hate," was somehow connected to that historical development and maybe even try to articulate some sort of leftist analysis of that. ..."
"... a world where a single ideology rules the planet unopposed from without ..."
"... Brexit is about Britons who want their country back, a movement indeed getting stronger and stronger in EU member states, but ignored by the ruling 'elites'. ..."
"... A lot of these so called "revolutions" are fomented by the elite only to be subverted and perverted by them in the end. They've had a lot of practice co-opting revolutions and independence movements. ..."
"... "Independence" is now so fashionable (as was Communism among the "elite" back in the '30s), that they are even teaching and fostering independence to kids in kindergarten here in the US. That strikes me as most amusing. Imagine "learning" independence in state run brainwashing factories. ..."
Oct 13, 2017 | www.unz.com

Well all right, let's review what happened, or at least the official version of what happened. Not Hillary Clinton's version of what happened, which Jeffrey St. Clair so incisively skewered , but the Corporatocracy's version of what happened, which overlaps with but is even more ridiculous than Clinton's ridiculous version. To do that, we need to harken back to the peaceful Summer of 2016, (a/k/a the "Summer of Fear" ), when the United States of America was still a shiny city upon a hill whose beacon light guided freedom-loving people, the Nazis were still just a bunch of ass clowns meeting in each other's mother's garages, and Russia was, well Russia was Russia.

Back then, as I'm sure you'll recall, Western democracy, was still primarily being menaced by the lone wolf terrorists, for absolutely no conceivable reason, apart from the terrorists' fanatical desire to brutally murder all non-believers. The global Russo-Nazi Axis had not yet reared its ugly head. President Obama, who, during his tenure, had single-handedly restored America to the peaceful, prosperous, progressive paradise it had been before George W. Bush screwed it up, was on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon slow jamming home the TPP . The Wall Street banks had risen from the ashes of the 2008 financial crisis, and were buying back all the foreclosed homes of the people they had fleeced with subprime mortgages. American workers were enjoying the freedom and flexibility of the new gig economy. Electioneering in the United States was underway, but it was early days. It was already clear that Donald Trump was literally the Second Coming of Hitler , but no one was terribly worried about him yet. The Republican Party was in a shambles. Neither Trump nor any of the other contenders had any chance of winning in November. Nor did Sanders, who had been defeated, fair and square, in the Democratic primaries, mostly because of his racist statements and crazy, quasi-Communist ideas. Basically, everything was hunky dory. Yes, it was going to be terribly sad to have to bid farewell to Obama, who had bailed out all those bankrupt Americans the Wall Street banks had taken to the cleaners, ended all of Bush and Cheney's wars, closed down Guantanamo, and just generally served as a multicultural messiah figure to affluent consumers throughout the free world, but Hope-and-Change was going to continue. The talking heads were all in agreement Hillary Clinton was going to be President, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Little did we know at the time that an epidemic of Russo-Nazism had been festering just beneath the surface of freedom-loving Western societies like some neo-fascist sebaceous cyst. Apparently, millions of theretofore more or less normal citizens throughout the West had been infected with a virulent strain of Russo-Nazi-engineered virus, because they simultaneously began exhibiting the hallmark symptoms of what we now know as White Supremacist Behavioral Disorder, or Fascist Oppositional Disorder (the folks who update the DSM are still arguing over the official name). It started with the Brexit referendum, spread to America with the election of Trump, and there have been a rash of outbreaks in Europe, like the one we're currently experiencing in Germany . These fascistic symptoms have mostly manifest as people refusing to vote as instructed, and expressing oppressive views on the Internet, but there have also been more serious crimes, including several assaults and murders perpetrated by white supremacists (which, of course, never happened when Obama was President, because the Nazis hadn't been "emboldened" yet).

Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything, or the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and replaced with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which is merely a simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because exchange value is its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their eviscerated cultural values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer brands as they hunch together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on Facebook.

No, this discontent with the political establishment, corporate elites, and the mainstream media has nothing to do with any of that. It's not like global Capitalism, following the collapse of the U.S.S.R. (its last external ideological adversary), has been restructuring the entire planet in accordance with its geopolitical interests, or doing away with national sovereignty, and other nationalistic concepts that no longer serve a useful purpose in a world where a single ideological system (one backed by the most fearsome military in history) reigns completely unopposed. If that were the case, well, it might behoove us to question whether this outbreak of Nazism, racism, and other forms of "hate," was somehow connected to that historical development and maybe even try to articulate some sort of leftist analysis of that.

This hypothetical leftist analysis might want to focus on how Capitalism is fundamentally opposed to Despotism, and is essentially a value-decoding machine which renders everything and everyone it touches essentially valueless interchangeable commodities whose worth is determined by market forces, rather than by societies and cultures, or religions, or other despotic systems (wherein values are established and enforced arbitrarily, by the despot, the church, or the ruling party, or by a group of people who share an affinity and decide they want to live a certain way). This is where it would get sort of tricky, because it (i.e., this hypothetical analysis) would have to delve into the history of Capitalism, and how it evolved out of medieval Despotism, and how it has been decoding despotic values for something like five hundred years. This historical delving (which would probably be too long for people to read on their phones) would demonstrate how Capitalism has been an essentially progressive force in terms of getting us out of Despotism (which, for most folks, wasn't very much fun) by fomenting bourgeois revolutions and imposing some semblance of democracy on societies. It would follow Capitalism's inexorable advance all the way up to the Twentieth Century, in which its final external ideological adversary, fake Communism, suddenly imploded, delivering us to the world we now live in a world where a single ideology rules the planet unopposed from without , and where any opposition to that global ideology can only be internal, or insurgent, in nature (e.g, terrorism, extremism, and so on). Being a hypothetical leftist analysis, it would, at this point, need to stress that, despite the fact that Capitalism helped deliver us from Despotism, and improved the state of society generally (compared to most societies that preceded it), we nonetheless would like to transcend it, or evolve out of it toward some type of society where people, and everything else, including the biosphere we live in, are not interchangeable, valueless commodities exchanged by members of a global corporatocracy who have no essential values, or beliefs, or principles, other than the worship of money. After having covered all that, we might want to offer more a nuanced view of the current neo-nationalist reaction to the Corporatocracy's ongoing efforts to restructure and privatize the rest of the planet. Not that we would support this reaction, or in any way refrain from calling neo-nationalism what it is (i.e., reactionary, despotic, and doomed), but this nuanced view we'd hypothetically offer, by analyzing the larger sociopolitical and historical forces at play, might help us to see the way forward more clearly, and who knows, maybe eventually propose some kind of credible leftist alternative to the "global neoliberalism vs. neo-nationalism" double bind we appear to be hopelessly stuck in at the moment.

Luckily, we don't have to do that (i.e., articulate such a leftist analysis of any such larger historical forces). Because there is no corporatocracy not really. That's just a fake word the Russians made up and are spreading around on the Internet to distract us while the Nazis take over. No, the logical explanation for Trump, Brexit, and anything else that threatens the expansion of global Capitalism, and the freedom, democracy, and prosperity it offers, is that millions of people across the world, all at once, for no apparent reason, woke up one day full-blown fascists and started looking around for repulsive demagogues to swear fanatical allegiance to. Yes, that makes a lot more sense than all that complicated stuff about history and hegemonic ideological systems, which is probably just Russian propaganda anyway, in which case there is absolutely no reason to read any boring year-old pieces, like this one in The European Financial Review , or this report by Corporate Watch , from way back in the year 2000, about the rise of global corporate power.

So, apologies for wasting your time with all that pseudo-Marxian gobbledygook. Let's just pretend this never happened, and get back to more important matters, like statistically proving that Donald Trump got elected President because of racism, misogyny, transphobia, xenophobia, or some other type of behavioral disorder, and pulling down Confederate statues, or kneeling during the National Anthem, or whatever happens to be trending this week. Oh, yeah, and debating punching Nazis, or people wearing MAGA hats. We definitely need to sort all that out before we can move ahead with helping the Corporatocracy remove Trump from office, or at least ensure he remains surrounded by their loyal generals, CEOs, and Goldman Sachs guys until the next election. Whatever we do, let's not get distracted by that stuff I just distracted you with. I know, it's tempting, but, given what's at stake, we need to maintain our laser focus on issues related to identity politics, or else well, you know, the Nazis win.

C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org .

jilles dykstra, October 13, 2017 at 3:15 pm GMT

Yesterday evening on RT a USA lady, as usual forgot the name, spoke about the USA. In a matter of fact tone she said things like 'they (Deep State) have got him (Trump) in the box'.

They, Deep State again, are now wondering if they will continue to try to control the world, or if they should stop the attempt, and retreat into the USA.
Also as matter of fact she said 'the CIA has always been the instrument of Deep State, from Kenndy to Nine Eleven'.

Another statement was 'no president ever was in control'.

How USA citizens continue to believe they live in a democracy, I cannot understand.

Yesterday the intentions of the new Dutch government were made public, alas most Dutch also dot not see that the Netherlands since 2005 no longer is a democracy, just a province of Brussels.

You can fool all people .

Che Guava, October 13, 2017 at 4:22 pm GMT

@jilles dykstra

Jilles,

I am thinking you take the article too literally.

jacques sheete, October 13, 2017 at 4:30 pm GMT

Brexit is about Britons who want their country back, a movement indeed getting stronger and stronger in EU member states, but ignored by the ruling 'elites'.

No doubt many do want their country back, but what concerns me is that all of a sudden we have the concept of "independence" plastered all over the place. Such concepts don't get promoted unless the ruling elites see ways to turn those sentiments to their favor.

A lot of these so called "revolutions" are fomented by the elite only to be subverted and perverted by them in the end. They've had a lot of practice co-opting revolutions and independence movements. (And everything else.)

"Independence" is now so fashionable (as was Communism among the "elite" back in the '30s), that they are even teaching and fostering independence to kids in kindergarten here in the US. That strikes me as most amusing. Imagine "learning" independence in state run brainwashing factories.

Does anyone else smell a rat or two?

Anon-og , October 13, 2017 at 5:16 pm GMT

"Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything, or the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and replaced with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which is merely a simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because exchange value is its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their eviscerated cultural values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer brands as they hunch together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on Facebook."

Very impressed with this article, never really paid attention to CJ's articles but that is now changing!

[Oct 10, 2017] At least the Russians have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Here's their new ad campaign for RT UK

Oct 10, 2017 | www.unz.com

Seamus Padraig > , October 10, 2017 at 11:55 pm GMT

At least the Russians have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Here's their new ad campaign for RT UK: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1438856412889207&set=a.117074591734069.21731.100002945854869&type=3&theater

[Sep 27, 2017] McMaster and Kelly have Trump under White house arrest.

crookedtimber.org

Lanka -> LindseyNarratesWordress •Sep 26, 2017 11:07 PM

McMaster and Kelly have Trump under [White] house arrest.

[Sep 23, 2017] Sensational Report Is Russiagate a Hoax Ordered by Vladimir Putin

Notable quotes:
"... One possible explanation would simply be that they have all gone nuts. But since this cannot possibly be the case, this leaves just one other explanation: Russiagate itself is a clever but sinister hoax intended to make it look like our political and media class have lost their marbles, therefore undermining our democracy, our values and our way of life ..."
Sep 23, 2017 | russia-insider.com

The Russians may have developed the capability to create elaborate hoaxes that turn the US into a laughing stock in the eyes of outsiders Russell O'Phobe 90

For almost a year, Russia's meddling in last year's election, along with collusion with the Trump campaign, have dominated the political and media landscape. But an explosive new classified report produced by US intelligence may be about to blow apart the narrative, and reveal an even bigger story that has been missed in all the commentary so far.

The report was set up to try to answer two questions: firstly, why is it that after nearly a year, there still hasn't been a single piece of hard evidence to prove either the hacking or the collusion? And secondly, given this lack of credible evidence, how is it that the US media and political classes have been talking about nothing else for months and months without any sign of letting it go, to the point of giving the impression of being obsessed with the issue?

The report, which was signed off by all 17 agencies ! that's the DIA, CIA, FBI and NSA ! reaches a conclusion which is nothing short of sensational:

"If there hasn't actually been any hard evidence presented of meddling or collusion, we must ask the question of how and why the entire political and media class have been talking about nothing else for months.

One possible explanation would simply be that they have all gone nuts. But since this cannot possibly be the case, this leaves just one other explanation: Russiagate itself is a clever but sinister hoax intended to make it look like our political and media class have lost their marbles, therefore undermining our democracy, our values and our way of life."

... ... ...

[Aug 01, 2017] Putin helps reduce Russian collusion in US Embassy in Moscow

Notable quotes:
"... So Putin helps reduce Russian collusion in US Embassy in Moscow. That is the bright side I believe. ..."
Aug 01, 2017 | profile.theguardian.com

PekkaRoivanen , , 31 Jul 2017 12:20

So Putin helps reduce Russian collusion in US Embassy in Moscow. That is the bright side I believe.

What I am curious about is what will be the response form Brussels once the American sanctions hit European businesses.

[Jun 27, 2017] I am so fucking tired of Russian hacking bullshit by now,

Jun 27, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com
Lyttenburgh , June 26, 2017 at 1:49 am

Level of sophistication – rock bottom Ukraine.

I'm so fucking tired of this bullshit by now, so – here you go:

[Jun 27, 2017] Ahh, but Obama was a peace nerd by Democratic Standards. Clinton almost started WWIII. LBJ bombed the shit out of Vietnam. Truman dropped two atomic bombs on surrendering Japan, allegedly to scare the shit out of Stalin

Jun 27, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com
ucgsblog , June 21, 2017 at 6:14 pm
Ahh, but Obama was a peace nerd by Democratic Standards. Clinton almost started WWIII. LBJ bombed the shit out of Vietnam. Truman dropped two atomic bombs on surrendering Japan, allegedly to scare the shit out of Stalin. Carter was a one term wimp. Democrats are just as war hungry as Republicans, but they lucked out with Iraq being a Republican issue, and so tried to get as many political points as possible from it. Obama's Foreign Policy wasn't popular with the Democratic Leadership, but it energized the youth voters, so they stayed silent. Under that context, Trump is indeed soft.

Truman used atomic bombs to bully Russia out of Japan and Western Berlin. LBJ fought by proxy against Russia in Vietnam. Clinton ordered a war with Russia over Kosovo. Obama was the outlier. Also, it certainly helped his candidacy against McCain, and the Democrats in the midterms. After Obama was reelected, it was Arab Spring, I mean business as usual. What did Trump do? Lobbed a few missiles at the Syrians, and shot down a single plane. Just one?! What a softy! The DNC Leadership needs to realize that the World isn't in the 1990s anymore, but I doubt that they will, and that's an issue that will cost them the 2018 midterms.

[Jun 27, 2017] No matter how many times the USA has lied to Russia, disparaged it, lied about it, cheated it .when America says, Hey, lets play football! Ill hold it, and you come running up and kick it! Russia will still fall for the old dodge, and come running and try to kick it, only to have it snatched away at the last second so it can fall on its ass

Notable quotes:
"... I really hope Russia has learned its lesson. It does no good to talk with Washington, as it only and always means Russia harm. Despite the popular aphorism, "Jaw, jaw is better than war, war", there is no reason Russia must choose one. Any overtures by Washington – including and especially to re-open the deconfliction channel in Syria – should be met with polite non-commitment, and a vague promise to look at it, then nothing. ..."
Jun 27, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com

marknesop ,

June 21, 2017 at 10:21 pm
Americans (in Washington and in the think tanks) see themselves as Lucy in Charles Shultz's "Peanuts" comic strip, and the Russians as Charlie Brown. No matter how many times the USA has lied to Russia, disparaged it, lied about it, cheated it .when America says, "Hey, let's play football! I'll hold it, and you come running up and kick it!" Russia will still fall for the old dodge, and come running and try to kick it, only to have it snatched away at the last second so it can fall on its ass.

I really hope Russia has learned its lesson. It does no good to talk with Washington, as it only and always means Russia harm. Despite the popular aphorism, "Jaw, jaw is better than war, war", there is no reason Russia must choose one. Any overtures by Washington – including and especially to re-open the deconfliction channel in Syria – should be met with polite non-commitment, and a vague promise to look at it, then nothing.

yalensis , June 22, 2017 at 5:41 pm
Russia's choice:

Cortes , June 21, 2017 at 7:33 pm
Stoogesite Exclusive!

Revealed for the first time: The Donald Meeting His KGB Handler:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/TDbBoJoI-ZU?feature=oembed

[Jun 07, 2017] Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies and other proposals for the title of Hillary new book

Notable quotes:
"... Deplorable You. ..."
"... Me, Myself and I. ..."
"... I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died. ..."
"... I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died. ..."
"... I Maimed, I Whored, I Lied. ..."
Jun 07, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
Jen , , June 5, 2017 at 2:16 pm

Title for Hillary's new book:

The Terrible, Awful, Very Bad, No Good Campaign

Tenantlaw , , June 5, 2017 at 2:18 pm

Hillary's memoir should be called: "Stop Me Before I Kill Again"

allan , , June 5, 2017 at 2:20 pm

"Readers, can you help her out?"

Deplorable You.

Me, Myself and I.

I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died.

Massinissa , , June 5, 2017 at 2:46 pm

"I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died"

Roger Smith , , June 5, 2017 at 2:53 pm

If I Did It: Alternative Tales of Absolution

"The Ceiling's Concrete!": Hillary's Guide to Hardware (complete with a bad photoshop of her in a yellow hard hat, blue button up holding a hammer)

The Electorate Shrugged

John k , , June 5, 2017 at 4:00 pm

Losing together.

Jane , , June 5, 2017 at 4:28 pm

"I Leaned In and Fell Over"

olga , , June 5, 2017 at 5:34 pm

That's a good one!

Eudora Weldy , , June 5, 2017 at 8:04 pm

What Difference Does It Make?

integer , , June 5, 2017 at 11:25 pm

I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died.

Alternatively:

I Maimed, I Whored, I Lied.

Clive , , June 5, 2017 at 2:46 pm

Hillary's book:

"She Stoops to Conquer"

"I Flirted With Victory But He Gave Me the Cold Shoulder"

"That Craazyman Promised Me a Ten Bagger and I Like a Fool Believed Him"

"Pantsuits for Beginners"

"Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies"

Lambert Strether Post author , , June 5, 2017 at 2:56 pm

> "Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies"

+1000!

ex-PFC Chuck , , June 5, 2017 at 3:08 pm

"It Takes A Pillage"

jsn , , June 5, 2017 at 7:00 pm

"The Russians are Comey"

Knifecatcher , , June 5, 2017 at 2:58 pm

With apologies to Barry O:

"The Audacity of Nope"

Anon , June 5, 2017 at 4:01 pm

Hillary's Book Titles:

"1.2 Billion Ways to Lose"

"Like, With a Cloth or Something?: Story of My Campaign"

"It's My Turn to Squander"

"Onward Together into the Woods"

"How to Have Massive Media Backing and Still Lose – Kinda the Story of My Campaign"

John k , June 5, 2017 at 5:36 pm

Angry Bird

Eureka Springs , June 5, 2017 at 7:10 pm

Hair On Fire

Sore Loser

With a – re re re re re re re re introduction of Myself

It's My Pity Party (And I'll *itch Slap Everyone I Want Too)

Putin On A Fit

Red Mist In My Eye

Hypocrisy Now!

Neo Karma

Me Me Meeeeee

Uranium Homesick Blues

sd , June 6, 2017 at 1:23 am

It's Still My Turn

funemployed , June 5, 2017 at 4:26 pm

"I'm with Me"

"Wronger Together"

"The Unbearable Lightness of Being the Most Qualified Person Evah"

"Do I Dream of Electric Deplorables? (I do, of killing them with drones)"

"Ozywomandias"

"Something Deplorable this way Comes"

"The Fountain@$$"

"The Great Patsy"

"The Third Coming"

JerseyJeffersonian , June 5, 2017 at 7:31 pm

"Ozywomandias"

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: `Two vast and trunkless cankles of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear -
"My name is Ozywomandias, queen of queens:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

[Jun 07, 2017] Something about privatization of air traffic contollers

Jun 07, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
jo6pac , June 5, 2017 at 3:29 pm

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-infrastructure-idUSKBN18W215

Pilot– Chicago O'Hare I'm asking for permission to land.

Tower– Please listen closely because do upgrades our message has changed.

Chicago O'Hare I'm asking for permission to land.

Tower– Please all pilots in O'Hare landing pattern talk among yourselves to work out who is first.

Pilot– WTF

Tower– This being the first Monday of Month there are no ground crews so just drive around until you find a location to unload the sheeple. That is all and Good F$$$$$$ Luck!

Still dead Ronnie-ray-gunn would be so proud.

Synoia , June 5, 2017 at 4:39 pm

British Airways version:

Tower: BA 200, permission for takeoff..

.

Tower: BA 200, come in please..

[May 25, 2017] Wow, Trump just hasnt been the same since he touched that orb by Lambert Strether

Notable quotes:
"... Wow, Trump just hasn't been the same since he touched that orb ..."
"... I talked to Sauron, tremendous guy, very bright, he's great. ..."
May 23, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

The Twitter went wild on the orb. I liked this one:

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Cyrus the Great was buried with a sceptre of tremendous power. I, king of the New World, command my people to find his tomb & recover his sceptre. None
shall sleep until the sceptre is found!

■ Pixelated Boat

@pixelatedboat

Wow, Trump just hasn't been the same since he touched that orb

5:43 PM-21 May 2017

3,365 V 8,882

And this one:

Nick Greene @NickGreene 21 May

Trump During the Campaign: "I will NEVER touch The Orb, even though its mysterious glow seduces and beguiles."

Trump Today: pic.twitter.com/eWoaDeXj8n

Boo

@TheSpaceHamster

@NickGreene

Spicer:the president has not and will never use the orb to talk to sauron

45: I talked to Sauron, tremendous guy, very bright, he's great.

3:30 PM-21 May 2017

There was also a very good one for Sanders which now I can't find, but Twitter's search function is what it is, and Google thinks I want to search on "orbital sanders." So it goes.

[May 22, 2017] NSA is here to help you or Spying as a service (SAAS)

May 22, 2017 | www.unz.com

Willem Hendrik, May 21, 2017 at 9:50 pm GMT

Look at the bright side; If you lost the grocery list your wife gave you, call the NSA and ask them to send you a copy.

If your boss denies promising you a raise call NSA for supporting materials.

SAAS ( Spying as a service)

[May 14, 2017] Lets Go To Peak Trump Hysteria-Ambassador Kislyak For FBI Chief! by John Derbyshire

I suggested back in March that the President throw this Russia stuff right back in the elites' smug weasel faces by making the Russian ambassador an honored guest at all cabinet meetings. In the same spirit of defiance, I now tender a further suggestion.

Mr. President, you are in need of a new FBI Director. Please consider appointing Russian ambassador Sergey Ivanovich Kislyak to this position.

Ambassador Kislyak is a genial and worldly fellow you should have no trouble getting along with. As a former diplomatic functionary of the U.S.S.R., I'm sure he is well acquainted with intelligence procedures and protocols. An ideal candidate!

You'd probably have to grant him U.S. citizenship; but I believe that can be done on an expedited basis by a simple Act of Congress.

The upside for you would be that it would drive the opposition into shrieking, moon-howling madness. The downside for our country would be nothing at all.

[May 05, 2017] In defence of the size of Obama bribe

Notable quotes:
"... Apparently, corruption is now the love that dare not speak its name. ..."
Apr 28, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
WheresOurTeddy , , April 26, 2017 at 3:18 pm

In defense of Obama making $400K while Clinton only made $225K

he was actually able to *GET ELECTED*.. She took all her bribes up front then lost to Trump with a 2-1 money advantage and the press completely in her pocket. Truly pathetic. He should get WAY more than 2x what she does. HE ACTUALLY DELIVERED SOMETHING TO HIS BENEFACTORS. If she had any shame - which she obviously doesn't - she'd disappear forever. And we'd all be the better for it.

Hillary, Bill, and Chelsea are three of the most embarrassing Americans to have ever lived. If you think I'm being too harsh, ask yourself why the (D) party they built for 30 years prefers fascism to democratic socialism.

Jeff W , April 26, 2017 at 4:48 pm

WaPo:

Whether fair or not, it's not difficult to look at Wall Street paying $400,000 to Obama as a reward for [not prosecuting anyone on Wall Street for the crash].

Well, something that seems fairer , if not inarguable, is that if President Obama had prosecuted people on Wall Street, demanded Pecora investigation-style hearings, or, y'know, acted generally in the public interest, Wall Street would not be shelling out $400,000 to hear his views on anything.

To view Obama during his presidency as not being constrained under those circumstances seems, to me, to be a kind of willful obliviousness.

Marina Bart , April 26, 2017 at 8:19 pm

Great framing.

Apparently, corruption is now the love that dare not speak its name.

[Apr 27, 2017] Obama's $400,000 Wall Street Speech Is Completely In Character Obama isn't just showing that he is a creature of the banks

He probably said to himself, "What did I make in a year as president? Oh yeah, $400,000. Now that's what I want to make in an hour"
Apr 27, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
Reply Big River Bandido , April 27, 2017 at 7:03 pm

Sticker seen on a Bedford Ave. lamppost in Williamsburg, 2002:

God Bless Our Brave Stockbrokers

Huey Long , April 27, 2017 at 7:49 pm

Yikes!

I wonder, was that in the:

A) Hasidic Jewish

B) Puerto Rican

C) Hipster

portion of Williamsburg?

[Apr 21, 2017] First Transgender President Trump Becomes Hillary by Fred Reed

Apr 20, 2017 | unz.com

Oh Lord, it's happening–the remanufacture of Trump by the Establishment. During the campaign, Trump and the Basilisk had nothing in common but their hair dye. Now, almost daily, he looks more like her.

He gets embarrassing. Regarding the alleged gassing in Syria, quoth Donald:

"When you kill innocent children, innocent babies - babies, little babies - with a chemical gas that crosses many, many lines, beyond a red line. And I will tell you, that attack on children yesterday had a big impact on me my attitude toward Syria and Assad has changed very much."

God almighty. Who wrote this–a middle school girl with C's in English, or the President of the United States? Did he retire to his bedroom for a good cry?

Apparently he ordered his missile strike without bothering to find out what happened. The usual suspects are driving him like a sports car.

The election was a choice between fetor and a lunatic. We chose the lunatic. Whether this was better than the alternative, we will never know, but Trump is going from bad to worse, or as the Mexicans say, de Guatemala a Guatepeor.

Does he believe this stuff? Is he naive enough to think that there was something unusually horrible about the attack? Horrible, yes, but not in the least unusual. Do you know what everyday, boring artillery does to children? Five-hundred-pound bombs? Hellfire rockets? Daily Mr. Trump's military and his allies daily drop shrapnel-producing explosives on people, cities, towns, adults, children, weddings and goatherds in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and Yemen. Good draft-dodger that he was, he probably has never seen any of this. Good psychopath that he may be, he may not care.

This whole gas-attack business smells to high heaven. It looks nicely calculated to force him to attack Assad. Gas was important: Killing babies, little babies with explosives is so routine that no one cares, but we have been programmed to shudder at the thought of Gas!

Actually artillery has killed several orders of magnitude more people, but never mind.

Targeting children was a nice touch. Definitely a PR bonus. So Donald goes into his Poor-widdle-fings weep, while Americans weekly kill more children in three to seven countries, depending on the date.

Is the man consciously a liar? Hasn't got sense enough to think before operating his mouth? Actually believes what he says when he says it?

Glance at a small part of the record and focus on his changing his tune, not on whether you agree with a particular policy. Erratic, erratic, erratic. He was going to run out the illegals within two years, absurd but he said it. Going to put high tariffs on Mexican goods. Didn't. On Chinese goods. Isn't. Tear up the Iran treaty. Didn't. Declare China a currency-manipulator. Isn't. Ban Muslims. Hasn't. Promote good relations with Russia. Isn't. Get the US out of Syria. Ha. Make NATO pay for itself. Isn't. The man has the steely determination one associates with bean curd. You cannot trust anything the man says.

Having been reprogrammed as a good neocon, bombing places he promised to get out of, looking for a fight with Russia, he is now butting heads with Fat Thing in North Korea. He his said things closely resembling, "We have run out of strategic patience with the North. If nobody else will take care of it, we will." Grrrr. Bowwow. Woof.

The problem with growly ultimata made for television is that somebody has to back down–that is, lose face and credibility. If Trump had quietly told Fat Thing, "If you crazy bastards scrap your nuke program, we will drop the sanctions," it might have worked. But no. Negotiations would imply weakness. Thus an ultimatum.

So now either (a) Fat Thing knuckles under, humiliating himself and possibly endangering his grasp on power or (b) Trump blinks in a humiliating display of the Empire's impotence, possibly endangering his grasp on power.

Kim Jong Il, or Il Sung Jong, or whatever the the hell the latest one of them is called, shows not the slightest sign of backing down. So does the Donald start an utterly unpredictable war, as usual in somebody else's country, or does he weasel off, muttering, and hope nobody notices?

Fred's Third Law of International Relations: Never butt heads with a country that has a missile named the No Dong.

Many of us favored Trump, slightly daft though he was, because he wasn't yet Hillary, wasn't yet a neocon robot, and didn't want war with every country he had heard of, apparently meaning a good half dozen. At least he said he didn't, not yet having been told that he did. In particular, he didn't want war with Russia. But when the neocons control the media and Congress, they can convince a naive public of anything and, apparently, the President.

Why is the Hillarification of Trump important? The necessary prior question: What is the greatest threat to the neocons' American Empire? Answer: The ongoing integration of Eurasia under Chinese hegemony. The key countries in this are China, Iran, and Russia. (Isn't it curious that, apart from the momentary distraction of North Korea, these countries have been the focus of New York's hostility?) In particular if Russia and, through it, China develop large and very profitable trade with Europe, there goes NATO and with it the Empire.

Oops.

Thus the eeeeeeeeeeek! furor about Russia as existential threat and so on. Thus sending a few troops to Baltic countries to "deter" Russia. This was theater. The idea that a thousand garrison troops can stop the Russian army, which hasn't gone silly as ours has, on its doorstep is loony.

Hillary was on board with the Russia hysteria and the globalization and the immigration and so on. Trump could have screwed the whole pooch by getting along with Russia, so he had to be reconfigured. And was. A work in progress, but going well.

ORDER IT NOW

Too much is being asked of him. One man cannot overcome the combined hostility of the media, the political establishment, the neocons, the myriad other special interests that he has threatened. Mass immigration is a done deal. China develops and America, already developed, cannot keep up. The country disintegrates socially. Washington, always depending on war and its threat, faces a new world in which trade is the weapon, and doesn't know what to do. The culture courses. The world changes.

Yet if only Trump showed some sign of knowing what he is doing, and could remember from day to day, if only he realized that wars are more easily started than predicted, if only he were not becoming an unbalanced Hillary.

Yet, apparently, he is.

(Reprinted from Fred on Everything by permission of author or representative)

[Apr 17, 2017] The Syria Strikes A Conspiracy Theory

Nice satire... almost Gavlin style...
Notable quotes:
"... This is the 100% true story of the #SyriaStrikes, and if you support sites like The Corbett Report that question it in any way you are a moonbeam fake news tyrant-loving hippy pinko Russian agent and should commit ritual suicide immediately. ..."
Apr 17, 2017 | www.moonofalabama.org
Anoncommentator | Apr 15, 2017 12:31:18 AM | 130
This is going viral and so it should!!! corbettreport

The Syria Strikes A Conspiracy Theory

TRANSCRIPT AND SOURCES: https://www.corbettreport.com/syriast...

On the morning of April 4th 2017, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, on the verge of a military victory against the terrorist insurgency in his country and on the eve of peace talks that would secure his position as president, decided to use chemical weapons he didn't have against a target of no military significance in front of as many cameras as possible to cross the one red line that would insure his own government's downfall.

Soon after, the Academy Award-winning White Helmets –noted for their Oscar-worthy performances , persistent proximity to Al Qaeda , and financial dependence on USAID –bravely risked their lives, handling Sarin victims barehanded against every protocol in the book.

Without presenting a shred of evidence, President Donald Trump boldly launched a military strike against Shayrat airfield because "national security interest," promising to help the "beautiful children" (*offer does not apply to babies in Gaza , Yemen , Pakistan , or basically anywhere else).

That military strike, a volley of 59 Tomahawk land attack missiles of which 23 actually made it to their target, failed to take out a single runway or even keep the airbase from operating for even 24 hours , but was a complete success for ExxonMobil , Raytheon and Donald Trump .

No one could question the wisdom of striking Syria ( except Donald Trump ). And no one could oppose such a move ( except Russia ).

The Trump Train, still convinced by candidate Trump (" dropping bombs on Assad " and " look what happened after Gaddafi ") concluded that this was 7th dimensional backgammon to make China afraid of the US' willingness to spend $100 million in a fearsome show of failing to destroy a single airfield.

Throughout the world people rejoice as a horrible secular regime in the Middle East is replaced by yet another peace-loving band of ragtag human rights campaigners and child beheaders motivated by a desire to subdue the armies of Rome in an apocalyptic confrontation in Dabiq. (* actual ISIS belief )

The chemicals for the previous "red line" attack in Syria have since been proven to come from Libya with US approval , but that's probably not relevant to this case.

The CIA has released declassified report after declassified report showing that the plan to topple Syria's government has been in the works for decades, but this just shows that they were right all along.

The mainstream media unquestioningly asserts that the story is true because the US government says so, but that's OK because we all know the msm is full of unbiased truthtellers and dig hard to get the raw facts on every story. (" beauty of our weapons ")

Even members of congress think the story is a load of hogwash , but that's OK because they're probably crazy.

Meanwhile the White House has released a report on its intelligence about the chemical attack that refutes its own version of the story , but that's OK because when has the White House ever lied people into war?

This man doesn't exist, and if you think he does you're an enemy of humanity who should apologize for having been born. Likewise him , her , her , him and him . And him and her .

This is the 100% true story of the #SyriaStrikes, and if you support sites like The Corbett Report that question it in any way you are a moonbeam fake news tyrant-loving hippy pinko Russian agent and should commit ritual suicide immediately.

If you love your country and/or liberty, NASCAR, supermodels, TV, water slides or your mother you will not question this story in any way. Ever.

This message has been brought to you by the Friends of the Brookings Institute , Raytheon , Genie Oil , Oded Yinon , I-CIA-SIS and The New York Times .

Because IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH!

[Apr 04, 2017] Too much neoliberal swamp gas

Apr 04, 2017 | economistsview.typepad.com
DrDick said in reply to pgl... , April 03, 2017 at 04:22 PM
A great piece by Stiglitz. ( Illiberal Stagnation - Joseph E. Stiglitz )
paine -> DrDick ... , April 03, 2017 at 04:22 PM
Too much liberal swamp gas
libezkova -> paine... , April 03, 2017 at 09:33 PM
"Too much [neo]liberal swamp gas"

this is almost Mark Twain's level quote :-).

[Apr 01, 2017] Russias New Voicemail Press 2 For Services Of Russian Hackers, Press 3 For Election Interference

Apr 01, 2017 | www.zerohedge.com
With the Russian election hacking scandal having gone from the merely strange, to the bizarre, to the ironic, to the McCarthyist, and most recently, jumping the patently absurd shark - as of last night, anyone who is against Hillary is "influenced by Russia" according to a former Clinton advisor - Russia decided to have some fun at the expense of US paranoia.

On Saturday, the ministry posted the following audio file of the "new" automated telephone switchboard message for Russian embassies.

"You have reached the Russian embassy, your call is very important to us. To arrange a call from a Russian diplomat to your political opponent, press 1. To use the services of Russian hackers press 2. To request election interference, press 3 and wait until the next election campaign. Please note that all calls are recorded for quality improvement and training purposes."

And just to make it clear, it is April 1: as AP observes for the countless spy agencies, and congressional committees still trying to explain how Moscow subliminally influenced millions of Americans to vote for Trump instead of Hillary, a ministry officer confirmed that the post was a joke.

Belrev -> -> Chris Dakota Apr 1, 2017 11:14 AM

Here is the English part of the answering machine message

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDOGOPZrsb0

Chet Ricco -> yovatti •Apr 1, 2017 10:36 AM

What does Russia do that the U.S. doesn't? Spy on it's people? Engage in state sponsored assassination? Invade sovereign nations? Oh, I know what makes you angry! They don't allow homos access to children. Yeah, only scumbags keep their children safe. S/

[Mar 31, 2017] Soviet Jokes Kept Secret for Decades in Recently Declassified CIA Docs

Mar 31, 2017 | sputniknews.com
In particular, there is a popular anecdote about an American man proving the benefits of freedom of speech to a Russian guy. The American claims he can safely go to the White House and shout out "Screw you, Ronald Reagan!" The Soviet guy indifferently replies: "So what? I can go to the Kremlin and yell 'Screw you, Ronald Reagan!' too."

Another well-known joke describes how various Soviet leaders responded to a situation where a train they were travelling in suddenly stops. Vladimir Lenin suggests uniting all workers and peasants and asking them to build a new road. Joseph Stalin orders the train drivers shot. Nikita Khrushchev rehabilitates the executed ones, orders that the rails be removed from behind the train and put in front of it. And Leonid Brezhnev draws the curtains and starts swinging from side to side, imitating the train's movement.

25th Anniversary of the USSR's Collapse: Perestroika in Pictures 20 There is also a joke about a disgruntled Soviet worker who decides to leave a line in a liquor store because he finds it too long and instead attempt "to kill Mikhail Gorbachev." However, later he returns, noting that "the queue there is even longer."

"Communism is an unscientific doctrine because it was not initially tested on dogs," claims another political joke.

In another joke poking fun at the permanent shortages in stores, a man comes into a shop and asks "You wouldn't happen to have fish, would you?" The shop assistant replies, "comrade, you've got it wrong! This is a butcher's shop - here we wouldn't happen to have meat. There is a fish shop across the road, that's where they wouldn't happen to have fish!"

[Feb 27, 2017] February 24, 2017 at 3:13 pm

Feb 27, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Some people I am acquainted with came up with:

The Democratic Party Apology Handbook

http://www.byebyedemocracy.org/p/the-democratic-party-apology-handbook.html?m=1

[Feb 25, 2017] Pro-lifers disavow clinic bombings: "We finally see the irony

Feb 25, 2017 | economistsview.typepad.com
Tom aka Rusty : , February 21, 2017 at 11:11 AM
Not as good as The Onion, but pretty funny in a weird way:

http://www.hillarybeattrump.org

RGC -> Tom aka Rusty... , February 21, 2017 at 11:38 AM
Pro-lifers disavow clinic bombings: "We finally see the irony"

(My keyboard is devastated)

ilsm -> Tom aka Rusty... , February 21, 2017 at 02:08 PM
democrats' 'real America' where the deep state McCarthy's the republicans and the media lies keeping the Cambridge and Berkley 'majority' conned.

[Feb 20, 2017] As a bonus, they will learn what fallout is.

Feb 20, 2017 | www.zerohedge.com
DuckDog -> ronaldwilsonreagan , Feb 19, 2017 1:20 PM

Finally we get Pence in control and he can carry on where Obama left off and Hillary couldn't start, WWIII with Russia.... I so want to see what a first strike looks like and the aftermath of what Russia will do to North America.

Attacking Russia will be the best show on TV, all the fake MSM news will have to cover the fallout in North America in real time, awesome stuff....

New_Meat -> DuckDog , Feb 19, 2017 5:55 PM

DuckDog, we know that the really fake MSM will say "It is all George Bush's Fault!!!"

Details at 11.

And, as a bonus, they will learn what "fallout" is.

[Jan 21, 2017] Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

Jan 21, 2017 | www.theonion.com

WASHINGTON-Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

"Go on now-get out of here!" said the former commander-in-chief, his lower lip trembling and his eyes welling with tears as he affected a stern tone of voice in an attempt to scare off the faithful hunter-killer drone that had spent the past eight years obediently at his side.

"You can't come with me anymore, you got that? Can't you see this is for your own good? Now scram. What are you waiting for? Go!" At press time, a heartbroken Obama had thrown a rock in the drone's direction, causing the unmanned aerial vehicle to flee into the sky, where it paused to look back one last time at its old master before flying off toward a Yemeni tribal wedding.

[Jan 12, 2017] The WHO warns of outbreak of virulent new 'Economic Reality' virus by Steve Keen

Jan 12, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
UserFriendly , January 12, 2017 at 2:20 pm

The WHO* warns of outbreak of virulent new 'Economic Reality' virus by Steve Keen

Absolutely hilarious!
https://www.elgaronline.com/view/journals/roke/5-1/roke.2017.01.08.xml?rskey=EcXQgX&result=1

shinola , January 12, 2017 at 4:03 pm

Thanks UF! I thought it was very amusing. I would recommend it as a companion to the Pilkington article that precedes today's water cooler.

The Who also had these words of warning decades ago: "Meet the new boss / same as the old boss";)

[Jan 12, 2017] The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

Jan 12, 2017 | economistsview.typepad.com
Peter K. : January 12, 2017 at 10:31 AM , 2017 at 10:31 AM
[h/t Steve Randy Waldmann]

http://www.theonion.com/infographic/pros-and-cons-universal-basic-income-55011

The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

INFOGRAPHIC

January 11, 2017
VOL 53 ISSUE 01

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

PRO

  • Would make people feel valued by their government in precise capitalist terms they can understand
  • Privileged elite no longer the only ones with access to Pizza Hut Triple Treat Box
  • Whole basic human dignity thing
  • Opens up more opportunities to use the phrase "sucking at the government's teat"
  • The look on some rich prick's face hearing about this for the first time
  • More marks for your pyramid scheme

CON

  • System can be exploited by "welfare queens" who live lavishly on the spoils of their $500 monthly allotment
  • Recipients might lose sight of the value of hard work, the most noble and treasured aspect of American life
  • Would take forever to sign all those checks
  • Encourages entrepreneurship among dumb$sses who dream of opening a f!@#ing cupcake truck or some other bull!@#$t
  • The long-term effects of bestowing lower class with a sense of dignity are currently unknown
  • Leveling the playing field would be detrimental to the vast minority of Americans

[Jan 03, 2017] That's how you forge the Third Way democratic coalition

Jan 03, 2017 | economistsview.typepad.com
ilsm : , January 02, 2017 at 04:19 PM
Out of nowhere......

came a dysfunctional GOP tilting against a corporatist opposition which thinks supporting abortion, free sex, weed and gay marriage is being liberal.

likbez -> ilsm... , -1
That's how you forge the "Third Way" democratic coalition ;-)

[Dec 25, 2016] CIA Troll Food - 10 ways to spot a Russian Spy Zero Hedge

Dec 25, 2016 | www.zerohedge.com
Here's 10 ways to spot a *real* Russian Spy in America:

1) Superior use of the English language, with a thick accent, failure to use articles such as 'the' and 'a' – such as 'take shower' instead of 'going to take a shower.' Russian Language is far more complex but more logical and efficient in use of letters, speech, and writing. Russian natives who master English typically have a large vocabulary, and will use proper tenses and complex grammatical structures because they studied it, and will likely leave out slang such as 'you know' and 'like.' (Until of course, they live here for 10 years)

2) Never smiling. Russians do not smile unless they are laughing at a joke, and maybe in some rare cases when something funny happens. Even in this case, their dark sense of humor is something they enjoy on the inside. It's not polite to walk around Moscow smiling. If you do, someone may call the police (as if you have gone mad).

3) Seems to be rude – never says 'please' or 'thank you' – Russians do not have a concept of why you should say 'thank you' to a stranger who just took $50 from you for your groceries. How has this person really helped you or brightened your day? Isn't it their job? Should you say 'thank you for doing your job' as if it's a miracle?

4) Does not wear shoes in his home, he has a foyer where when he enters his house takes off all coats, scarves, hats, shoes and other 'outdoor' wear and puts on fuzzy house slippers or just wears socks.

5) Constantly pays with physical cash. Although some Americans do this anyway who are not necessarily Russian – nearly ALL Russians use 100% physical Rubles for everything from paying rent, health insurance, doctors visits, buying a car, buying groceries, or investing. The electronic economy hasn't taken hold in Russia – and partly because they are 'paranoid' that if they put their money in a bank, the bank will seize it or bankrupt.

6) Never will open a door for a stranger, or move out of the way if you are in his walking vector, in fact he may knock over any passersby like bowling pins if they are in the way; and certainly will never say 'excuse me.'

7) Always well dressed, even to go grocery shopping – maybe keeps a pocket comb even if his hair is only 2 cm long. Russians don't have a concept of wearing sweat suits or pajamas to the grocery store. When they go out even if just to run to the corner store for a milk.

8) Wary to use air conditioner. In Russia very few buildings have A/C – in the summer months when it's hot, it is still cool at night, when most open windows and enjoy a nice breeze. Modern buildings of course have the conveniences of A/C but those who are older or who grew up in older buildings do not have A/C – only heat. Therefore, they aren't used to cranking up the A/C year round like the blue hairs in Sunny Florida. If they are hot they are more likely to take a walk or open the windows.

9) Not likely to find Russians in paid public events unless they are formal. Russia has a well-developed public system of parks and other free public use systems and they aren't used to paying a few dollars to enter a public park, see Christmas lights, or $1 to view through binoculars along side the highway. Paying $250 for theater tickets is different – they aren't cheap people, they are just not used to being nickeled and dimed when outside their homes, because in Russia it's all free.

10) Strange tippers. In Russia they don't use the 'tipping' system, if you eat in a café or bar you may leave your spare change for example, if the bill is $9.50 you may leave the additional $.50 – or if you have a few extra dollars you may leave it – or not. The majority of cafes, restaurants, bars, and other establishments only expect tips from tourists. And if a Russian does leave a tip, it's likely to be very small (not 10%!!).

There you have it! There are many cultural differences between USA and Russia, although there are too many similarities. In this series of articles, we're spreading the facts about Russia – the great unknown Bear.

Umh , Dec 24, 2016 6:09 PM

#4 makes him Turkish or Chinese or Japanese......

[Dec 20, 2016] ClubOrlov The Power of Nyet

Notable quotes:
"... What we ordinary folk think of as "American" interests are those interests as expressed by an entrenched foreign policy establishment to which the price of admission isn't only graduate studies in an expensive university. No, you have to walk within the lines. There's nothing as old under the sun as "group-think". ..."
"... he served a purpose when he diverged from long established consensus and said that maybe, just maybe, getting on with the Russians might not be that hard. Or that NATO is an out-dated, dead-weight non-alliance of the unwilling. Or that border-less trade ruined heartland America. ..."
July 26. 2016 | cluborlov.blogspot.com
[ O poder do "não" ]
[ Het vermogen van "njet" ]
[ Síla „Nět" ]
[ Le pouvoir du " Niet " ]

The way things are supposed to work on this planet is like this: in the United States, the power structures (public and private) decide what they want the rest of the world to do. They communicate their wishes through official and unofficial channels, expecting automatic cooperation. If cooperation is not immediately forthcoming, they apply political, financial and economic pressure. If that still doesn't produce the intended effect, they attempt regime change through a color revolution or a military coup, or organize and finance an insurgency leading to terrorist attacks and civil war in the recalcitrant nation. If that still doesn't work, they bomb the country back to the stone age. This is the way it worked in the 1990s and the 2000s, but as of late a new dynamic has emerged.

In the beginning it was centered on Russia, but the phenomenon has since spread around the world and is about to engulf the United States itself. It works like this: the United States decides what it wants Russia to do and communicates its wishes, expecting automatic cooperation. Russia says "Nyet." The United States then runs through all of the above steps up to but not including the bombing campaign, from which it is deterred by Russia's nuclear deterrent. The answer remains "Nyet." One could perhaps imagine that some smart person within the US power structure would pipe up and say: "Based on the evidence before us, dictating our terms to Russia doesn't work; let's try negotiating with Russia in good faith as equals." And then everybody else would slap their heads and say, "Wow! That's brilliant! Why didn't we think of that?" But instead that person would be fired that very same day because, you see, American global hegemony is nonnegotiable. And so what happens instead is that the Americans act baffled, regroup and try again, making for quite an amusing spectacle.

The whole Edward Snowden imbroglio was particularly fun to watch. The US demanded his extradition. The Russians said: "Nyet, our constitution forbids it." And then, hilariously, some voices in the West demanded in response that Russia change its constitution! The response, requiring no translation, was "Xa-xa-xa-xa-xa!" Less funny is the impasse over Syria: the Americans have been continuously demanding that Russia go along with their plan to overthrow Bashar Assad. The unchanging Russian response has been: "Nyet, the Syrians get to decide on their leadership, not Russia, and not the US." Each time they hear it, the Americans scratch their heads and try again. John Kerry was just recently in Moscow, holding a marathon "negotiating session" with Putin and Lavrov. Above is a photo of Kerry talking to Putin and Lavrov in Moscow a week or so ago and their facial expressions are hard to misread. There's Kerry, with his back to the camera, babbling away as per usual. Lavrov's face says: "I can't believe I have to sit here and listen to this nonsense again." Putin's face says: "Oh the poor idiot, he can't bring himself to understand that we're just going to say 'nyet' again." Kerry flew home with yet another "nyet."

What's worse, other countries are now getting into the act. The Americans told the Brits exactly how to vote, and yet the Brits said "nyet" and voted for Brexit. The Americans told the Europeans to accept the horrendous corporate power grab that is the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP), and the French said "nyet, it shall not pass." The US organized yet another military coup in Turkey to replace Erdoǧan with somebody who won't try to play nice with Russia, and the Turks said "nyet" to that too. And now, horror of horrors, there is Donald Trump saying "nyet" to all sorts of things-NATO, offshoring American jobs, letting in a flood of migrants, globalization, weapons for Ukrainian Nazis, free trade

The corrosive psychological effect of "nyet" on the American hegemonic psyche cannot be underestimated. If you are supposed to think and act like a hegemon, but only the thinking part still works, then the result is cognitive dissonance. If your job is to bully nations around, and the nations can no longer be bullied, then your job becomes a joke, and you turn into a mental patient. The resulting madness has recently produced quite an interesting symptom: some number of US State Department staffers signed a letter, which was promptly leaked, calling for a bombing campaign against Syria in order to overthrow Bashar Assad. These are diplomats. Diplomacy is the art of avoiding war by talking. Diplomats who call for war are not being exactly diplomatic. You could say that they are incompetent diplomats, but that wouldn't go far enough (most of the competent diplomats left the service during the second Bush administration, many of them in disgust over having to lie about the rationale for the Iraq war). The truth is, they are sick, deranged non-diplomatic warmongers. Such is the power of this one simple Russian word that they have quite literally lost their minds.

But it would be unfair to single out the State Department. It is as if the entire American body politic has been infected by a putrid miasma. It permeates all things and makes life miserable. In spite of the mounting problems, most other things in the US are still somewhat manageable, but this one thing-the draining away of the ability to bully the whole world-ruins everything. It's mid-summer, the nation is at the beach. The beach blanket is moth-eaten and threadbare, the beach umbrella has holes in it, the soft drinks in the cooler are laced with nasty chemicals and the summer reading is boring and then there is a dead whale decomposing nearby, whose name is "Nyet." It just ruins the whole ambiance!

The media chattering heads and the establishment politicos are at this point painfully aware of this problem, and their predictable reaction is to blame it on what they perceive as its ultimate source: Russia, conveniently personified by Putin. "If you aren't voting for Clinton, you are voting for Putin" is one recently minted political trope. Another is that Trump is Putin's agent. Any public figure that declines to take a pro-establishment stance is automatically labeled "Putin's useful idiot." Taken at face value, such claims are preposterous. But there is a deeper explanation for them: what ties them all together is the power of "nyet." A vote for Sanders is a "nyet" vote: the Democratic establishment produced a candidate and told people to vote for her, and most of the young people said "nyet." Same thing with Trump: the Republican establishment trotted out its Seven Dwarfs and told people to vote for any one of them, and yet most of the disenfranchised working-class white people said "nyet" and voted for Snow White the outsider.

It is a hopeful sign that people throughout the Washington-dominated world are discovering the power of "nyet." The establishment may still look spiffy on the outside, but under the shiny new paint there hides a rotten hull, with water coming in though every open seam. A sufficiently resounding "nyet" will probably be enough to cause it to founder, suddenly making room for some very necessary changes. When that happens, please remember to thank Russia or, if you insist, Putin.

NowhereMan said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 7:13:00 AM EDT

Beautiful! I'm going to start using that word in conversation now just to gauge people's reactions. Nyet!!! I have one particularly stuffy friend who's just baffled by the Trump phenomenon. He's an old school GOP conservative at heart who's chagrined that he's had to abandon the grand old party in favor of HRC and can't understand for the life of him why the "dirt people" are so enamored with Trump and Sanders. I just laugh and tell him that they're abandoning the Dems for the same reasons that he's embracing them.

The rich and the near rich (which seems to include just about everybody these days, if only in their imaginations) here in the US all suffer from fundamental attribution bias - the idea that their own exceptionalism is why they are doing well - rather than realizing that it's all mostly just the luck of the draw - or even worse - their own willingness to carry corporate water like the good little Nazi's they are that has allowed them to temporarily advance their station in life.

Fortunately for us all, the sun is setting on America's empire as we speak, and fevered dreams of US hegemony for the rest of time will be short lived indeed, although homo sapiens' time might be limited as well. If history keeps recording in the aftermath, US nuclear enabled hegemony will be but a brief blip on the historical radar, and like the legend of Atlantis before us, we'll be remembered chiefly as a society gone mad with our technologies, who aspired to reach out and touch the face of god, but instead settled for embracing our many inner devils. We won't be missed.

Happy Unicorn said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:26:00 AM EDT

A vote for Trump is a vote for Putin? Wouldn't THAT be nice!

Dave Stockton said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:36:00 AM EDT

This whole, "a vote against Hillary is a vote for Putin", is the best thing that could have happened this election. The US population will now have a debate and get to vote on whether we truly want to start World War Three. Hopefully the powers that be will be surprised by the response... NYET!

Unknown said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 12:23:00 PM EDT

Nice...

Putin recently made fun of Lavrov, that he is becoming like Gromyko....
...and Gromyko was called Mr. NYET. :-)

http://sevendaynews.com/2016/06/17/putin-has-lavrov-compared-with-gromyko/

Vyse Legendaire said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 12:37:00 PM EDT

I hope someone would volunteer to design a 'Nyet!' T-shirt on teepublic for advocates to show their unity to the cause.

Shawn Sincoski said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 4:44:00 PM EDT

I really hope that the next time the TBTF banks need a handout, somebody, somewhere reacts with a 'NFW' that resonates with the other plebes. Such a powerful word. But I am doubtful that such an event will occur. With all that is going on with Hillary the house should be on fire by now, but it is not (I am not advocating Trump by disparaging HRC). I suspect that the coming American experience will be unique and (dis)proportionate to their apathy.

Cortes said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:01:00 PM EDT

Herbert Marcuse: The first word of freedom is "No"

Irene Parousis said... Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 6:58:00 AM EDT

BRILLIANT!!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 12:12:00 AM EDT

d94c074a-53e8-11e6-947a-073bf9f943f9 said...
Excellent.
There is a minor twist: "The corrosive psychological effect of "nyet" on the American hegemonic psyche cannot be underestimated". Probably GWB's "misunderestimated" left some local linguistic traume in your brain popping up in your otherwise perfect comment. I guess you meant "cannot be overestimated". Nevermind, you message is clear and convincing anyway :-)

Mister Roboto said... Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 8:07:00 AM EDT

This sums up why all the usual poppycock and folderol about why I need to vote for Hillary that always succeeded in getting under my intellectual skin in the past is now just the mere noise of screeching cats outside the window to me: There just comes a point where, if you have any integrity at all, you have to say, "Nyet!"

Mark said... Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 5:42:00 AM EDT

At some point, voting for a major party candidate is just throwing away your vote.

Roger said... Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 7:11:00 AM EDT

I always enjoy Dmitry's blogs and the fact that he pushes the Russian perspective, as a relief from the Russophobic drivel put out by the mainstream. However, a word of caution to the wise. Obama, Kerry, Clinton, Trump et al. are, in fact, extremely unfunny. Charlie Chaplin lampooned the funny little man with the moustache in the Great Dictator, xa! xa! xa! The truth came out later. Do not be afraid of Neocon America, but please remember these are dangerous people. Be vigilant always.

Bruno said... Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 10:55:00 AM EDT

Loved.

And sad because Brasil didn't say NYET to the coup planted here by USA.

Unknown said... Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 1:02:00 PM EDT

"Putin recently made fun of Lavrov, that he is becoming like Gromyko....
...and Gromyko was called Mr. NYET. :-)"

Even better, Lavrov was subsequently quoted in the press as saying "don't make me say the four letter word".

What a tag team!

Marty said... Friday, July 29, 2016 at 9:20:00 AM EDT

I really believe that you have hit the crux of the issue, the Neocon psychopaths are besides themselves over the Nyets, and they find themselves to be a once powerful now toothless lion, the are being laughed at, even by the American people.

I hope so because the worst of the bunch is Mrs. Clinton, she is just a crazy and stupid enough to burn it all down, perhaps the only thing that would prevent her from doing so is that this would interfere with her Diabolical Narcissistic need to be seen as the Kleptocrat she is and to get away with being the biggest grifter in American history.

Turkey shows that they can't even organize a proper coup any more, even when they have a major base in the country of the government to be compromised. The NeoCons must be so disappointed.

This failed coup was probably also was a big disappointment to those Fed Banksters who were counting on looting the Bank if Turkey's 500 or so Tonnes of gold, as they did with Ukraine.

Roger said... Friday, July 29, 2016 at 12:53:00 PM EDT

Leon Panetta sez "we know how to do this" despite an exuberant flourishing of evidence to the contrary. But there's a glimmer of hope, even if it comes from a way down the ranks, because there's a Col Bacevitch who begs to differ and sez "with all due respect, we DON'T know how to do this."

You ask, know how to do WHAT exactly? Well, the topic at issue in a PBS panel discussion was destroying the Islamic State. But knowing how to do it or NOT knowing how to do it could refer equally to a series of monumental American foreign policy muffs. How could it be, that America with all its military force, screws up so mightily and predictably? Because it's as Mr Orlov asserts, there's a lot of NYETS out there and the American foreign policy establishment can't fathom it.

But what they most crucially can't fathom is that those damn furriners have their own interests at heart just like the Americans have their own interests. Americans from the street level to the highest echelons view the world through Americentric lens resulting in ludicrously distorted fun-house views of the world.

For example, why doesn't the Iranian see things the way Americans want him to? Why is it always "nyet" coming out of Teheran? Why are Iranians so belligerent? Americans seemingly can't comprehend that Iran is an ancient imperial power whose roots go back millennia, right to the origins of civilization. But could it possibly be that Iranian concerns have got more to do with goings-on in their geographic locale and pretty much nothing to do with the United States? And that the Iranian is highly irritated that Americans stick their noses into matters that concern Americans only tangentially or not at all? Could it be that the Iranian has his own life pathways in age-old places that Americans know nothing about? Could it be that an Iranian is educated in his own traditions in ancient academies that far pre-date anything on American soil? You can replace the words "Iranian" and "Iran" with "Chinese" and "China" or "Japanese" and "Japan" or dozens of other places and societies including "Russian" and "Russia". American incomprehension goes deep.

Maybe some of the world is Washington-dominated. But maybe some this domination is more apparent than real. Maybe it only seems Washington-dominated because in many of these places there's a concordance of interests with the United States. But in most of the globe the interests of Americans are not the same as those of the locals. And America has not got the will nor the reach to make it otherwise.

Happy Unicorn said...

Roger: "But in most of the globe the interests of Americans are not the same as those of the locals."

Most of the globe, including America itself! The interests of the Americans you're talking about are usually not the same as mine or anyone's that I know ("the locals" in America). I suspect the people of the USA who aren't brainwashed would have a lot in common with everybody else in the world, because the first colony of any would-be empire (colony 0, let's say) is always the country it originated from. More and more of us are saying nyet too, though the utterance usually takes the less exotic form also enumerated by Dmitry awhile back: "No, because we hate you."
Friday, July 29, 2016 at 3:03:00 PM EDT

flops said... Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 7:22:00 AM EDT

In good wronglish:

There's America, Americans, USA.

And, in some point of our decolonized memory, there's Pacha Mama, our Mother Earth, the name given to our land by the older people.

Not by chance, the unique country in Pacha Mama continents that have a pre-colonial language as its official - Paraguay's Guarani - was the initial focus of this antidemocratic wave attacking our countries.

We, the united states of...? What?

"Pacha Mama" is our best nyet!

Not anymore south and central americas, south and central "americans". Pacha Mama is our real continents' name! We are The United States of Pacha Mama!
When mentioning people from brazil, angentine, chile, bolivia, peru paraguay colombiavenezuelahaiti,surinamepanamacubamexico and so, please call us Pachamamists. That' what we are.

Roger said... Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 11:27:00 AM EDT

HappyUnicorn, of course you're right.

What we ordinary folk think of as "American" interests are those interests as expressed by an entrenched foreign policy establishment to which the price of admission isn't only graduate studies in an expensive university. No, you have to walk within the lines. There's nothing as old under the sun as "group-think".

The lines are long established. Just think of it: globalization, off-shoring millions of jobs, on-shoring millions of dirt-poor immigrants, legal and otherwise. Nothing warms the cockles of the oligarch's heart like a desperate underclass.

I know Trump is a buffoon. But he served a purpose when he diverged from long established consensus and said that maybe, just maybe, getting on with the Russians might not be that hard. Or that NATO is an out-dated, dead-weight non-alliance of the unwilling. Or that border-less trade ruined heartland America.

You saw the venomous reaction. A lot of people staked a career on the status-quo. Is the best-before expired as Trump suggested? I'll bet that if it hadn't been a blustering clown that raised it, many more people on the street would agree.

Some regional interests are historic and easily visible for example, along the Mason-Dixon line. But even on either side of that old divide I think that the disparity is more an artifact of opposing elites determined to not get along. Why don't they get along? Well, there's a country to loot. You need distractions and diversions while pension funds and treasuries are emptied.

And so we're off chasing our tails on burning problems like gender neutral washrooms. Brilliant, don't you think? Kudos to the Obama regime for that one. And so it's God fearin', gun packin' "conservative" versus enlightened, high-minded "progressive". What a joke, what a con. Yet, predictably, we fell for it. You name it, school prayer, abortion, evolution, and now washrooms, we fall for it, we always do.

Robert T. said... Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 1:52:00 PM EDT

It would be very nice if someone could write a piece on what life in Russia, in all its levels, is really like nowadays. I suspect that it is not just "nyet" that terrifies the Empire, but rather what Russia herself is now increasingly coming to represent.

A lot of people, myself included, had been brought up thinking that Russia, while indeed a superpower, isn't and cannot be on the same page as the US. But now here are reports saying that a good and strong leader has pulled Russia out of the rut, and made things better. What's more, this leader did it in a manner that seems antithetical to the Empire. And what's even better is that this new Russia can't be easily rocked, like how the other countries had been rocked and thrown into chaos. The Empire therefore is at its wit's end. If people from other parts of the Earth, especially in those many places where democracy has failed miserably, begin to see that there is indeed an alternative to the empirical system, won't they then start to follow Russia's footsteps?

Headsails said... Tuesday, August 2, 2016 at 2:07:00 AM EDT

Just like a spoiled rotten child that needs to learn some manners. It needs to learn the meaning of no. But in this case, instead of a spankng they would be chain ganged for life.

[Dec 20, 2016] ClubOrlov Brain Parasite Gonna Eatcha!

Dec 16, 2016 | cluborlov.blogspot.com
Brain Parasite Gonna Eatcha! I've been experiencing some difficulties with commenting on the current political situation in the US, because it's been a little too funny, whereas this is a very serious blog. But I have decided that I must try my best. Now, these are serious matters, so as you read this, please refrain from any and all levity and mirth.

You may have heard by now that the Russians stole the US presidential election; if it wasn't for them, Hillary Clinton would have been president-elect, but because of their meddling we are now stuck with Donald Trump and his 1001 oligarchs running the federal government for the next four years.

There are two ways to approach this question. One is to take the accusation of Russian hacking of the US elections at face value, and we will certainly do that. But first let's try another way, because it's quicker. Let's consider the accusation itself as a symptom of some unrelated disorder. This is often the best way forward. Suppose a person walks into a doctor's office, and says, "Doctor, I believe I have schizophrenium poisoning." Should the doctor summon the hazmat team, or check for schizophrenia first?

And so let's first consider that this "Russians did it" refrain we keep hearing is a symptom of something else, of which Russians are not the cause. My working hypothesis is that this behavior is being caused by a brain parasite. Yes, this may seem outlandish at first, but as we'll see later the theory that the Russians stole the election is no less outlandish.

Brain parasites are known to alter the behavior of the organisms they infest in a variety of subtle ways. For instance, Toxicoplasma gondii alters the behavior of rodents, causing them to lose fear of cats and to become attracted to the smell of cat urine, making it easy for the cats to catch them. It also alters the behavior of humans, causing them to lavish excessive affection on cats and to compulsively download photographs of cute kittens playing with yarn.

My hypothesis is that this particular brain parasite was specifically bioengineered by the US to make those it infects hate Russia. I suspect that the neurological trigger it uses is Putin's face, which the parasite somehow wires into the visual cortex. This virus was first unleashed on the unsuspecting Ukrainians, where its effect was plain to see. This historically Russian, majority Russian-speaking, culturally Russian and religiously Russian Orthodox region suddenly erupted in an epidemic of Russophobia. The Ukraine cut economic ties with Russia, sending its economy into a tailspin, and started a war with its eastern regions, which were quite recently part of Russia and wish to become part of Russia again.

So far so good: the American bioengineers who created this virus achieved the effect they wanted, turning a Russian region into an anti-Russian region. But as happens so often with biological agents, it turned out to be hard to keep under control. Its next victims turned out to be NATO and the Pentagon, whose leadership started compulsively uttering the phrase "Russian aggression" in a manner suggestive of Tourette's Syndrome, entirely undeterred by the complete absence of evidence of any such aggression that they could present for objective analysis. They, along with the by now fit-to-be-tied Ukrainians, kept prattling on about "Russian invasion," waving about decades-old pictures of Russian tanks they downloaded from their friends on Facebook.

From there the brain parasite spread to the White House, the Clinton presidential campaign, the Democratic National Committee, and its attendant press corps, who are now all chattering away about "Russian hacking." The few knowledgeable voices who point out that there is absolutely no hard evidence of any such "Russian hacking" are being drowned out by the Bedlam din of the rest.

This, to me, seems like the simplest explanation that fits the facts. But to be fair and balanced, let us also examine the other perspective: that claims of "Russian hacking" should be taken at face value. The first difficulty we encounter is that what is being termed "Russian hacking" is not hacks but leaks. Hacks occur where some unauthorized party breaks into a server and steals data. Leaks occur where an insider-a "whistleblower"-violates rules of secrecy and/or confidentiality in order to release into the public domain evidence of wrongdoing. In this case, evidence of leaking is prima facie: Was the data in question evidence of wrongdoing? Yes. Was it released into the public domain? Yes. Has the identity of said leaker or leakers remained secret? Yes, with good reason.

But this does not rule out hacking, because what a leaker can do, a hacker can also do, although with difficulty. Leakers have it easy: you see evidence of wrongdoing, take umbrage at it, copy it onto a thumb drive, smuggle it off premises, and upload it to Wikileaks through a public wifi hotspot from an old laptop you bought off Craislist and then smashed. But what's a poor hacker to do? You hack into server after server, running the risk of getting caught each time, only to find that the servers contain minutes of public meetings, old press releases, backups of public web sites and-incriminating evidence!-a mother lode of pictures of fluffy kittens playing with yarn downloaded by a secretary afflicted with Toxicoplasma gondii .

The solution, of course, is to create something that's worth hacking, or leaking, but this is a much harder problem. What the Russians had to do, then, was take the incorruptible, squeaky-clean goody-two-shoes faithful public servant Hillary Clinton, infiltrate the Clinton Foundation, Hillary's presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee, and somehow manipulate them all into doing things that, when leaked (or hacked) would reliably turn the electorate against Clinton. Yes Sir, Tovarishch Putin!

Those Russians sure are clever! They managed to turn the DNC into an anti-Bernie Sanders operation, depriving him of electoral votes through a variety of underhanded practices while appealing to anti-Semitic sentiments in certain parts of the country. They managed to manipulate Donna Brazile into handing presidential debate questions to the Clinton campaign. They even managed to convince certain Ukrainian oligarchs and Saudi princes to bestow millions upon the Clinton foundation in exchange for certain future foreign policy concessions. The list of these leak-worthy Russian subterfuges goes on and on But who can stop them?

And so clearly the Russians had to first corrupt the Clinton Foundation, the Clinton Presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee, just in order to render them hackworthy. But here we have a problem. You see, if you can hack into a server, so can everyone else. Suppose you leave your front door unlocked and swinging in the breeze, and long thereafter stuff goes missing. Of course you can blame the neighbor you happen to like least, but then why would anyone believe you? Anybody could have walked through that door and taken your shit. And so it is hard to do anything beyond lobbing empty accusations at Russia as far as hacking is concerned; but the charge of corrupting the incorruptible Hillary Clinton is another matter entirely.

Because here the ultimate Russian achievement was in getting Hillary Clinton to refer to over half of her electorate as "a basket of deplorables," and this was no mean feat. It takes a superpower to orchestrate a political blunder of this magnitude. This she did in front of an LGBT audience in New York. Now, Hillary is no spring chicken when it comes to national politics: she's been through quite a few federal elections, and she has enough experience to know that pissing off over half of your electorate in one fell swoop is not a particularly smart thing to do. Obviously, she was somehow hypnotized into uttering these words no doubt by a hyperintelligent space-based Russian operative.

The Russian covert operation into subverting American democracy started with the Russians sending an agent into the hitherto unexplored hinter regions of America, to see what they are like. Hunched over his desk, Putin whipped out a map of the US and a crayon, and lightly shaded in an area south of the Mason-Dixon line, west of New York and Pennsylvania, and east of the Rockies.

Let me come clean. I have split loyalties. I have spent most of my life hobnobbing with transnational elites on the East Coast, but I have also spent quite a few years working for a very large midwestern agricultural equipment company, and a very large midwestern printing company, so I know the culture of the land quite well. I am sure that what this Russian agent reported back is that the land is thickly settled with white people of Anglo-Irish, Scottish, German and Slavic extraction, that they are macho, that their women (for it is quite a male-centric culture) tend to vote same way as the men for the sake of domestic tranquility, that they don't much like dark-skinned people or gays, and that plenty of them view the East Coast and California as dens of iniquity and corruption, if not modern-day Sodoms and Gomorras.

And what if Vladimir Putin read this report, and issued this order: "Get Clinton to piss them all off." And so it was done: unbeknownst to her, using nefarious means, Hillary was programmed, under hypnosis, to utter the phrase "a basket of deplorables." A Russian operative hiding in the audience of LGBT activists flashed a sign triggering the program in Hillary's overworked brain, and the rest is history. If that's what actually happened, then Putin should be pronounced Special Ops Officer of the Year, while all the other "world leaders" should quietly sneak out the back entrance, sit down on the ground in the garden and eat some dirt, then puke it up into their hands and rub it into their eyes while wailing, because how on earth can they possibly ever hope to beat that?

Or we can just go back to my brain parasite theory. Doesn't it seem a whole lot more sane now? Not only is it much simpler and more believable, but it also has certain predictive merits that the "Russian hacking" theory lacks. You see, when there is parasitism involved, there is rarely just one symptom. Usually, there is a whole cluster of symptoms. And so, just for the sake of comparison, let's look at what has happened to the Ukraine since it was infected with the Ukrainian Brain Parasite, and compare that to what is happening to the US now that the parasite has spread here too.

1. The Ukraine is ruled by an oligarch-Petro Poroshenko, the "candy king"-along with a clique of other oligarchs who have been handed regional governorships and government ministries. And now the US is about to be ruled by an oligarch-Trump, the "casino king"-along with a clique of other oligarchs, from ExxonMobile to Goldman Sachs.

2. The Ukraine has repudiated its trade agreements with Russia, sending its economy into free-fall. And now Trump is promising to repudiate, and perhaps renegotiate, a variety of trade agreements. For a country that has run huge structural trade deficits for decades and pays for them by constantly issuing debt this is not going to be easy or safe.

3. The Ukraine has been subjected to not one but two Color Revolutions, promoted by none other than that odious oligarch George Soros. The US is now facing its own Color Revolution-the Purple Revolution-paid for by that same Soros, with the goal of overturning the results of the presidential election and derailing the inauguration of Donald Trump through a variety of increasingly desperate ploys including paid-for demonstrations, vote recounts and attempts to manipulate the Electoral College.

4. For a couple of years now the Ukraine has been mired in a bloody and futile civil war. To this day the Ukrainian troops (with NATO support) are lobbing missiles into civilian districts in the east of the country, and getting decimated in return. So far, Trump's victory seems to have appeased the "deplorables," but should the Purple Revolution succeed, the US may also see major social unrest, possibly escalating into a civil war.

The Ukrainian Brain Parasite has devastated the Ukraine. It is by now too far gone for much of anything to be done about it. All of the best people have left, mostly for Russia, and all that's left is a rotten, hollow shell. But does it have to end this way for the US? I hope not!

There are, as I see it, two possibilities. One is to view those who are pushing the "Russian hacking" or "Russian aggression" story as political adversaries. Another is to view them as temporarily mentally ill. Yes, their brains are infected with the Ukrainian Brain Parasite, but that just means that their opinions are to be disregarded-until they feel better. And since this particular brain parasite specifically influences social behavior, if we refuse to reward that behavior with positive reinforcement-by acknowledging it-we will suppress its most debilitating symptoms, eventually forcing the parasite to evolve toward a more benign form. As with many infectious diseases, the fight against them starts with improved hygiene-in this case, mental hygiene. And so that is my prescription: when you see someone going on about "Russian hacking" or "Russian aggression" be merciful and charitable toward them as individuals, because they are temporarily incapacitated, but do not acknowledge their mad ranting, and instead try to coax them into learning to control it.

[Dec 17, 2016] Manmade globall warming triggers 55 progressive cars to ruthlessly attack defenseless fuel tanker truck!

www.zerohedge.com
Whoa Dammit King Tut Dec 17, 2016 12:08 PM ABC Baltimore link with full video of "Yo" tanker accident & other trucks piling in / driving through the fire.

http://www.abc2news.com/news/region/baltimore-city/2-dead-in-tanker-cras...

Companies used to pull their trucks off the road, or allow driver discretion to pull over, in bad weather. Not so much any more. Because corporate profits 2 people died. nmewn's picture nmewn King Tut Dec 17, 2016 12:12 PM This just in from Fake Nuuuz Central:

Manmade globall warming "triggers" 55 progressive cars to ruthlessly attack defenseless fuel tanker truck!

Moar as it develops ;-) Troy Ounce's picture Troy Ounce nmewn Dec 17, 2016 12:20 PM

No no no it is called global schwarming.

It is important to cover yourself on both sides: when it is cold and when hot. Never One Roach's picture Never One Roach Troy Ounce Dec 17, 2016 12:22 PM Plane loads of "therapy puppies" are being flown in to help assuage the hurt New England snowflakes that are being "globally warmed" to below freezing.

sudzee's picture sudzee Dec 17, 2016 12:12 PM Putin is responsible for this mess. Quick, time for more sanctions.
Still Losing Money Dec 17, 2016 12:15 PM so did the russians hack global warming?

[Dec 15, 2016] FaKe NeWS FLoW CHaRT

www.zerohedge.com

Courtesy of williambazai7

[Dec 14, 2016] Why has there never been a coup in the US?

discussion.theguardian.com

GuardianFodder -> noteasilyfooled , 13 Dec 2016 18:55

Christmas cracker joke for you;

Q: Why has there never been a coup in the US?

A: Because Washington doesn't have an American embassy....

[Dec 11, 2016] Russia Rigged Election, Killed JFK And Hid Saddams WMDs, Confirms CIA

waterfordwhispersnews.com
craazyboy December 10, 2016 at 10:10 am

hahaha. Tho I think they made a spelling error- s/b Osamaovitch Boris Ladenofsky.

Baby Gerald December 10, 2016 at 10:15 am

Thanks for this– a much-needed Onion-esque satirical dig at the Globe/Post/NYT trifecta of garbage. To base a headline on information gleaned from anonymous sources and unnamed officials in secret meetings with unpublished agendas seems the most dangerous type of fake news there is. The death of irony was greatly exaggerated, if you ask me.

Aumua December 10, 2016 at 2:43 pm

Next up: Russia influenced the Superbowl. You thought the Cubs' actually winning was a little strange? Well, have we got a shocker for you..

[Dec 07, 2016] In view of listing on PropOrNot should

Notable quotes:
"... I was thinking Natasha Fatale .. ..."
"... it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. ..."
"... I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up. ..."
"... Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :) ..."
"... Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ! ..."
Dec 07, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

charles leseau November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am

So are you changing your name to Eva Smithova any time soon? Or maybe change the page header to Голый Капитализм for a bit?

a different chris November 26, 2016 at 10:37 am

Oh, I don't ask for much but please, please consider that! :) :) :)

fresno dan November 26, 2016 at 11:22 am

Re: charles leseau, November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am

I was thinking Natasha Fatale ..

petal November 26, 2016 at 1:02 pm

... Anyway, concerned by number of supposedly educated friends(Clinton supporters) being taken in by this fake news/Russian ties thing. They've lost their heads and there's no discussing it with them, they are convinced. Where does it end? Na zdorovie!

pretzelattack November 26, 2016 at 1:29 pm

it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. somebody referred to invasion of the body snatchers on nc the other day, that's the only logical explanation.

OIFVet November 26, 2016 at 1:31 pm

I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up.

Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :)

ambrit November 26, 2016 at 4:05 pm

Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ!

[Dec 07, 2016] New name for Yves Smith and Naked Capilism -- Eva Smirnova and

Notable quotes:
"... I was thinking Natasha Fatale .. ..."
"... I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up. ..."
"... Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :) ..."
"... Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ! ..."
Dec 07, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

charles leseau November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am

So are you changing your name to Eva Smithova any time soon? Or maybe change the page header to Голый Капитализм for a bit?

a different chris November 26, 2016 at 10:37 am

Oh I don't ask for much but please, please consider that! :) :) :)

fresno dan November 26, 2016 at 11:22 am

Re: charles leseau, November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am

I was thinking Natasha Fatale ..

pretzelattack November 26, 2016 at 11:51 am

i don't think i've ever seen a moose or flying squirrel antidote. this proves the pernicious russian influence.

petal November 26, 2016 at 1:02 pm

It's going to be a surprise and happen when everyone least expects it. Sneak attack by moose and skwirral. Anyway, concerned by number of supposedly educated friends(Clinton supporters) being taken in by this fake news/Russian ties thing. They've lost their heads and there's no discussing it with them, they are convinced. Where does it end? Na zdorovie!

pretzelattack November 26, 2016 at 1:29 pm

it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. somebody referred to invasion of the body snatchers on nc the other day, that's the only logical explanation.

OIFVet November 26, 2016 at 1:31 pm

I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up.

Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :)

ambrit November 26, 2016 at 4:05 pm

Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ!

[Dec 07, 2016] Did anyone notice this?? This is serious as all hell! The U.S. House of Representatives just passed H.R. 6393: Intelligence Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2017 This almost makes it sound like we are at war with Israel!

www.moonofalabama.org

PavewayIV | Dec 3, 2016 2:02:30 PM | 12

Did anyone notice this?? This is serious as all hell! The U.S. House of Representatives just passed H.R. 6393: Intelligence Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2017 This almost makes it sound like we are at war with Israel! Here are some of the more outrageous parts:

Title V - Matters relating to foreign countries

Sec. 501. Committee to counter active measures by the State of Israel to exert covert influence over peoples and governments.

  • (a)Definitions - In this section:
    1. Active measures by the State of Israel to exert covert influence. The term active measures by Israel to exert covert influence means activities intended to influence a person or government that are carried out in coordination with, or at the behest of, political leaders or the security services of the State of Israel and the role of Israel has been hidden or not acknowledged publicly, including the following:

      (A)Establishment or funding of a front group.
      (B)Covert broadcasting.
      (C)Media manipulation.
      (D)Disinformation and forgeries.
      (E)Funding agents of influence.
      (F)Incitement and offensive counterintelligence.
      (G)Assassinations.
      (H)Terrorist acts.

    2. Appropriate committees of Congress
      The term appropriate committees of Congress means
      (A)the congressional intelligence committees;
      (B)the Committee on Armed Services and the Committee on Foreign Relations of the Senate; and
      (C)the Committee on Armed Services and the Committee on Foreign Affairs of the House of Representatives.

  • (b)Establishment
    There is established within the executive branch an interagency committee to counter active measures by the State of Israel to exert covert influence.
  • (c)Membership
      (1)In general
        (A)Appointment

        Each head of an agency or department of the United States Government set out under subparagraph (B) shall appoint one member of the committee established by subsection (b) from among officials of such agency or department who occupy a position that is required to be appointed by the President, with the advice and consent of the Senate.

        (B)Head of an agency or department
        The head of an agency or department of the United States Government set out under this subparagraph are the following:

        (i)The Director of National Intelligence.
        (ii)The Secretary of State.
        (iii)The Secretary of Defense.
        (iv)The Secretary of the Treasury.
        (v)The Attorney General.
        (vi)The Secretary of Energy.
        (vii)The Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
        (viii)The head of any other agency or department of the United States Government designated by the President for purposes of this section.


  • (d)Meetings
    The committee shall meet on a regular basis.

  • (e)Duties
    The duties of the committee established by subsection (b) shall be as follows:

      (1)To counter active measures by Israel to exert covert influence, including by exposing falsehoods, agents of influence, corruption, human rights abuses, terrorism, and assassinations carried out by the security services or political elites of the State of Israel or their proxies.
      (2)Such other duties as the President may designate for purposes of this section.

  • (f)Staff [...]
  • (g)Budget request [...]
  • (h)Annual report

    1. Requirement
      Not later than 180 days after the date of the enactment of this Act, and annually thereafter, and consistent with the protection of intelligence sources and methods, the committee established by subsection (b) shall submit to the appropriate committees of Congress a report describing steps being taken by the committee to counter active measures by Israel to exert covert influence.

    2. Matters included
      Each report under paragraph (1) shall include a summary of the following:

      (A)Active measures by Israel to exert covert influence during the previous year, including significant incidents and notable trends.
      (B)Key initiatives of the committee.
      (C)Implementation of the committee's initiatives by the heads of the agencies and departments of the United States Government specified in subsection (c)(1)(B).
      (D)Analysis of the success of such initiatives.
      (E)Changes to such initiatives from the previous year.


    3. Separate reporting requirement
      The requirement to submit an annual report under paragraph (1) is in addition to any other reporting requirements with respect to Israel .

502.Limitation on travel of accredited diplomats and consulars of the State of Israel in the United States from their diplomatic post

    (a)Appropriate committees of Congress defined
    In this section, the term appropriate committees of Congress means-
    1. the congressional intelligence committees;
    2. the Committee on Foreign Relations and the Committee on the Judiciary of the Senate; and
    3. the Committee on Foreign Affairs and the Committee on the Judiciary of the House of Representatives.

    (b)Quarterly limitation on travel distance Accredited diplomatic personnel and consulars of the State of Israel in the United States may not be permitted to travel a distance in excess of 25 miles from their diplomatic post in the United States in a calendar quarter unless, on or before the last day of the preceding calendar quarter, the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation has certified in writing to the appropriate committees of Congress that during the preceding calendar quarter the Bureau did not identify any violations by accredited diplomatic personnel and consulars of the State of Israel of applicable requirements to notify the United States Government in connection with travel by such diplomatic personnel and consulars of a distance in excess of 25 miles from their diplomatic post in the United States.

OK - I lied a little. The text of the bill is as reads above, but I have substituted the text the State of Israel and Israel in place of the original text: the Russian Federation and Russia . You see, some countries are more equal than others. (Apologies to all the U.S. readers that thought "Well, it's about damn time!" )

[Dec 06, 2016] Obama invented a new psychedelic drug: a mixture of Hopium and Ballonium...

[Nov 28, 2016] Nicnames for Us MSM

Nov 28, 2016 | www.zerohedge.com

ABC (Always Boosting Clinton),
* Amazon.con,
* AOL (AllOutLibertards),
* AppleWorms,
* BloombergsGold,
* BuzzardFood,
* CBS (Clinton Butt Sniffers),
* CNN (Clinton News Network),
* Con Street Journal (WSJ),
* CrapNchat,
* DailyBarff,
* ESPeeiNg,
* FacePlant,
* Fox,
* GPG (Goebbels Propaganda Goons),
* GooglesPedophiles,
* HearstsHookers,
* HomeButtOrifice,
* Huffington Hoes,
* MicrosoftCephalics,
* MOREClintonPropaganda,
* MSNBC (MS Nothing But Clinton),
* NBC (Nose up Butt of Clinton),
* NetFlux,
* New Porker Yorker,
* New York SlimeBalls,
* NPR (National-PropagandaRadio),
* PBS (Perverts Broadcast System),
* PEOPLEpedophiles,
* POLITICOpropagandists,
* PRIvateParts,
* ProPORNotPedophiles,
* Redbitch,
* ReutersRooters,
* SnopesNgropes,
* Startrash,
* The AtlanTicks,
* TIMEforClinton,
* Twitcher,
* USA TodayToadies,
* VICEsexCrimes,
* VOXpropagandists,
* Washington ConPostHeap,

[Nov 19, 2016] Syrian child disappointed she won't get to be drone-striked by the first female president by Duffel Blog

Nov 13, 2016 | duffelblog.com

ALEPPO, Syria - In the midst of sectarian violence that has overtaken Syria for more than five years, nine-year-old Asil Kassab is shocked by the defeat of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.

"I am so unhappy that a woman was not elected President," Asil said, briefly ducking as a bomb from an American MQ-1 Predator drone leveled the hospital behind her. "Hillary Clinton is truly a role model for young girls like me. I was so hoping that she'd be the one to order the drone strike that would inevitably end my life."

Despite Clinton's support for regime change in Syria, leading to what is arguably one of the greatest humanitarian crises of the early century, Kassab surprisingly says she holds no ill will.

"I don't put much stock in the misogynist agenda of American politics," said Kassab, who, like many children, cannot remember a time before the war that has killed 400,000 people, including her family, and created over 4.7 million refugees. "People will always criticize her because she is a woman in a man's world; One who has the audacity to run for President."

"It is sexism that motivates her critics, plain and simple," she added. "It is sexism, and racism, that caused her to lose the election!"

... ... ...

[Nov 12, 2016] Voting for Clinton is like eating the fork, and only a complete moron would do that.

Nov 12, 2016 | discussion.theguardian.com
Anya2358 4d ago 17 18 More about Clinton and the Washington establishment than Trump. Just as Brexit was about Wasteminster's Elitists and not the EU. I saw wonderfully funny cartoons sent to me by my American friends, the best one said:

Voting for an independent is like eating a salad, it's the right thing to do, but will it really make much difference. Voting for Trump is like eating a spicy, greasy Burrito, fun at first, but then you have to digest it. Voting for Clinton is like eating the fork, and only a complete moron would do that.

[Nov 12, 2016] What Donald Trumps First Day at the White House Might Look Like

Nov 12, 2016 | russia-insider.com
It is January 20th, 2017. President Donald J. Trump is presiding over his very first meeting with his national security team.

Trump : We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.
CIA : We cannot do that, sir. We created them.
Trump : The Democrats created them.
CIA : We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby.

Trump : Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them.
CIA : We can't do that.
Trump : Why is that?
CIA : India will cut Balochistan out of Pak.
Trump : I don't care.
CIA : India will have peace in Kashmir. They will stop buying our weapons. They will become a superpower. We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.

Trump : But you have to destroy the Taliban.
CIA : Sir, we can't do that. We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check during the 80s. Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their nukes.

Trump : We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East. Let us start with the Saudis.
Pentagon : Sir, we can't do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We can't have democracy there, otherwise their people will get that oil - and we cannot let their people own it.

Trump : Then, let us invade Iran.
Pentagon : We cannot do that either, sir.
Trump : Why not?
CIA : We are talking to them, sir.
Trump : What? Why?
CIA : We want our Stealth Drones back. If we attack them, Russia will obliterate us as they did to our buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check.

Trump : Then let us invade Iraq again.
CIA : Sir, our friends (ISIS) are already occupying 1/3rd of Iraq.
Trump : Why not the whole of Iraq?
CIA : We need the Shi'ite govt of Iraq to keep ISIS in check.

Trump : I am banning Muslims from entering the US.
Homeland Security : We can't do that.
Trump : Why not?
Homeland Security : Then our own population will stop fearing terrorism and be harder to control.

Trump : I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border.
Border patrol : You can't do that, sir.
Trump : Why not?
Border patrol : If they're gone, who will build the wall?

Trump : I am banning H1B visas.
USCIS : You cannot do that.
Trump : Why?
Chief of Staff : If you do so, we'll have to outsource White House operations to Bangalore. Which is in India.

Trump (sweating profusely by now): What the hell should I do as President???
CIA : Enjoy the White House, sir! We'll take care of the rest!

[Nov 12, 2016] Legatus praetor Gaius Anonymus brings forth the news from far away Partian kingdom

Nov 12, 2016 | marknesop.wordpress.com

Lyttenburgh , November 11, 2016 at 4:19 pm

Legatus praetor Gaius Anonymus brings forth the news from far away Partian kingdom:

______________________________________________________________

Incredible events in Parthia

It's only been three days, oh, worthy of Quirites, from the moment that the Epicurean Trumparamp was elected as the new king of Parthia, but one might think that instead the depths of Hades were unleashed upon the world and that an unstoppable stream most incredible monsters poured out of it!

Messengers convey that in the Parthian kingdom reigns mourning, though by no means among all of the subjects – the heart-rending screams and rolling in the dust, while scratching one's face with the nails is popular exclusively among the adherents of the king Abamarak and his chosen Illariya, the priestess of the temple of the Giant Golden Toad – all sorts of Greeks (in both senses of the word), painted buffoons, owners of amphitheatres and Nubians each of whom Illariya promised free distribution of bread and five silver coins from the treasury. It is interesting that here in Rome takes place exactly the same thing –capital dwelling useless loafers and Judean owners of galleries with indecent murals, all wrapped in a black cloaks and shedding fiery tears, realizing that the flow of Parthian gold into their mad undertakings might soon dry up.

What is happening in the Umbria defies any description. The local savages made countless sacrifices to the good deity Peremogiks, daubing it in tasty pig fat and even proclaiming it a kinsman to the Golden Toad. But, as it appears to be, the dreadful witch Gan'ba called forth the black forces and summoned the sinister demon Zradiks, who plunged the Umbrians into utter despair. Witnesses say, that the grieving barbarians gorged themselves on peas, trying to scare Zradiks off with most powerful spell known to Umbria – the blowing of trhe Black Winds – that's why after hearing the news from Parthia the sky over the city Kuyavis was colored with multicolored fire lanes, and some Umbrians as a result flew up to the Moon and do not know now how to return back… And it's not only because the priestess Illariya did not become the queen – they began to realize that rich, but cost-wise Trumparamp, now won't give Umbria even a broken copper, especially after the local leaders slandered him with unspeakable words and even splashed the statue of Trumparamp's genius with pig's dung!

But how did it happen that the priestess of the Giant Golden Toad was denied the throne of Parthia? And it wasn't even due to the story about the clay tablets – Illariya sent secret dispatches using ordinary slave, and not purposely trained guard, making Parthian judges to begin an inquiry of the matter. The last straw was the story of the Greek Pipisyandr, husband of one of the younger priestesses, who assisted Illariya: this Pipisyandr became infamous for his habit of nightly break ins into the houses of Parthian matrons and even innocent girls, whom he revealed his "riches" of questionable value, and also ran away, filling neighborhoods with sinister laughter – all of which, of course, caused considerable outrage. Perhaps this is the first and only time in history when the king's elections were decided by someone's phallus!

The storm that broke out, however, does not abate day after day, and the Quirites in the Forum only shrug never before a new king of Parthia caused this kind of whirlwind, streams of tears and wailing chorus. Let's see what will happen next.

yalensis , November 11, 2016 at 6:13 pm
Gaius Anonymus omits to mention that

(1) Illariya was specifically instructed by KIng Abamarak to enscribe her clay tablets using the secret cypher known as "Caesar's 4-letter shift". And to attach them to the legs of specially trained evasive pigeons. Yet in her arrogance and contempt for her Nubian overlord, she enscribed her instructions in cleartext and sent them in the hands of ordinary house slaves; and
(2) Pipisyandr was even better known for making impressions in clay of his enormous phallus, then sending such impressions to the matrons of Rome, but verify at least he did attach these clay phalluses to the legs of sturdy pigeons, which is what they called "tweeting" or "cooing" the disgusting replicas.

Lyttenburgh , November 11, 2016 at 6:28 pm
Gaius Anonymus most notably omits (although inquisitive quirites remind him in comments beneath this news-scroll) that Illariya and the wife of Pipisyandr might have engaged in the sapphic pleasures of the flesh. This sad fact forced the spurned husband to steal some clay tablets with sensetive data and plant his phallos unto them – without clearing what's been written on these tablets. Thus the general public of Parthia became partial to the most scandalous exposure of secrets of the state.
Jen , November 11, 2016 at 10:11 pm
But has it also not been whispered among patricians and plebeians alike – though few dare breathe the rumour openly – that Illariya's husband also made regular visits to a legendary island of nymphs said to be owned by Galfridus Eburstanius?
yalensis , November 12, 2016 at 4:28 am
And verily the scandal reached into the inner workings of the Vestal Virgin network. Malicious plebeians gossip that Illariya's husband, Bubbus Primus, who disguised himself with cloaked hood, also went under the alias of "Bigus Dickus" as he penetrated into the Vestal sanctum, a holy place where technically males are not allowed.
But those rules are only for plebeians.
Jen , November 11, 2016 at 10:02 pm
Also Gaius Anonymous omits to say that the most senior Parthian judge Iacobus Brianus Comnenus twice declared that the investigations begun against Illariya for her use of personal slaves instead of government messengers to transact government business had no merit, against the wishes of his fellow judges and their clerks, scribes and centurions, that Illariya now blames IBC for her loss in the elections, and that the judges may now be preparing to dethrone IBC himself and to reopen their investigations against Illariya.
Moscow Exile , November 11, 2016 at 10:16 pm
Does Gaius Anonymous think that Illariya may have a secret palace hidden away somewhere on an island, say on Lesbos?
Patient Observer , November 12, 2016 at 8:12 am
Iway uspectsay atthay erethay isway oremay otay isthay orystay
anthay eway ancay imaginway.

[Nov 08, 2016] If Hillary wins it must be a glitch in putins ipad.

Nov 08, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

frosty zoom November 7, 2016 at 2:58 pm

If Hillary wins it must be a glitch in putin's ipad.

RabidGandhi November 7, 2016 at 5:20 pm

He even changed all the clocks Saturday night. Is nothing sacred?

[Nov 03, 2016] And Now For Some Comic Relief by Jonathan V. Last

Nov 03, 2016 | www.weeklystandard.com
Presenting...the Clinton IT Department! This has not been an especially ennobling election. Or a rewarding one. Or even entertaining. Pretty much everything about 2016 has been boorish and grotesque. But finally it is time to laugh.

This has not been an especially ennobling election. Or a rewarding one. Or even entertaining. Pretty much everything about 2016 has been boorish and grotesque. But finally it is time to laugh.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Clinton IT department.

Over the weekend we finally found out how Clinton campaign honcho John Podesta's emails were hacked. But first a couple disclaimers:

1) Yes, it's unpleasant to munch on the fruit of the poisoned tree. But this isn't a court of law and you can't just ignore information that's dragged into the public domain.

2) We're all vulnerable to hackers. Even if you're a security nut who uses VPNs and special email encryption protocols, you can be hacked. The only real security is the anonymity of the herd. Once a hacker targets you, specifically, you're toast.

I'm a pretty tech-savvy guy and if the Chinese decided to hack my emails tonight, you'd have everything I've ever written posted to Wikileaks before the sun was up tomorrow.

But that is … not John Podesta's situation.

What happened was this: On March 19, Podesta got what looked--kind of, sort of--like an email from Google's Gmail team. The email claimed that someone from the Ukraine had tried to hack into Podesta's Gmail account and that he needed to change his password immediately.

This is what's called a "phishing" scam, where hackers send legitimate-looking emails that, when you click on the links inside them, actually take you someplace dangerous. In Podesta's case, there was a link that the email told him to click in order to change his password.

This was not an especially good bit of phishing. Go have a look yourself. The email calls Podesta by his first name. It uses bit.ly as a link shortener. Heck, the subject line is the preposterous "*someone has your password*". Why would Google say "someone has your password?" They wouldn't. They'd say that there had been log-in attempts that failed two-step authentication, maybe. Or that the account had been compromised, perhaps. If you've spent any time using email over the last decade, you know exactly how these account security emails are worded.

And what's more, you know that you never click on the link in the email. If you get a notice from your email provider or your bank or anyone who holds sensitive information of yours saying that your account has been compromised, you leave the email, open your web browser, type in the URL of the website, and then manually open your account information. Again, let me emphasize: You never click on the link in the email!

But what makes this story so priceless isn't that John Podesta got fooled by an fourth-rate phishing scam. After all, he's just the guy who's going to be running Hillary Clinton's administration. What does he know about tech? And Podesta, to his credit, knew what he didn't know: He emailed the Clinton IT help desk and said, Hey, is this email legit?

And the Clinton tech team's response was: Hell yes!

No, really. Here's what they said: One member of the team responded to Podesta by saying "The gmail one is REAL." Another answered by saying "This is a legitimate email. John needs to change his password immediately."

It's like the Clinton IT department is run by 90-year-old grandmothers. I half-expect the next Wikileaks dump to have an email from one Clinton techie to another asking for help setting their VCR clock.

As the other guy likes to say, "only the best people."

[Nov 03, 2016] Bill must feel left out

Notable quotes:
"... Hillary is already surrounded by fbi investigations and a Weiner sex scandal with minors. Bill must feel left out. ..."
Nov 03, 2016 | discussion.theguardian.com
Juillette 26m ago

Hillary is already surrounded by fbi investigations and a Weiner sex scandal with minors. Bill must feel left out.

yianni Juillette 20m ago

Ha ha ha, must be laugh a minute in your trailer.

[Oct 24, 2016] AT T already owned Direct TV and now they want to acquire Time Warner

Oct 24, 2016 | economistsview.typepad.com

pgl : , October 23, 2016 at 03:10 AM

AT&T already owned Direct TV and now they want to acquire Time Warner. This article discusses what this proposed merger means to you:

http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2016/10/22/what-time-warner-t-alliance-means-you/92599580/

A real anti-trust policy would say no to this merger.

Paid Per View -> pgl... , -1

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-10-10

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-10-11

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-10-12

Tom aka Rusty -> pgl... , October 23, 2016 at 05:52 AM
This would be like Satan marrying the wicked witch of the West.

No good can come of this.

[Oct 22, 2016] This is the guy who wants to bring back torture and bomb the children of suspected terrorists

Oct 22, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Oregoncharles October 21, 2016 at 11:10 pm

From the Foreign Policy article on "Donald Trump Can't Undermine Our Democracy" – that we don't have:

" This is the guy who wants to bring back torture and bomb the children of suspected terrorists." You mean, like Bush and Obama, respectively?

[Oct 22, 2016] OBAMA ON OBAMACARE

Oct 22, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

OIFVet October 21, 2016 at 10:22 pm

OBAMA ON OBAMACARE:

"You're getting better quality, even though you don't know that Obamacare is doing it," Obama said.

"Thanks, Obama," he added jokingly…

"So why is there still such a fuss?" Obama said. "Well, part of the problem is the fact that a Democratic president named Barack Obama passed the law."

Yeah, I am sure that's precisely the reason, you miserable piece of narcissistic sh!t.

[Oct 22, 2016] Onion sends questionnaire to candidates

Oct 22, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Carolinian October 21, 2016 at 8:37 pm

Onion sends questionnaire to candidates. Example

3. How will you address the problem of homelessness in this country?

Rebuild the nation's infrastructure to better conceal those living beneath it
Provide them with gainful employment opportunities as ship ballast
Instruct the U.S. Mint to use small coins as vectors for a potent new virus
All of the above

http://www.theonion.com/article/onion-withholding-our-endorsement-president-until–54164

[Oct 22, 2016] Mrs. Clinton won the Democratic nomination fairly easily. Yes, all it took was 20,000 e-mails.

Oct 22, 2016 | economistsview.typepad.com

Benedict@Large : October 21, 2016 at 05:33 PM , 2016 at 05:33 PM

"Strange to say, however, Mrs. Clinton won the Democratic nomination fairly easily, ..."

Yes, all it took was 20,000 e-mails.

Seriously, this guy belongs in the funny farm.

[Oct 21, 2016] Posted without comment cause I am laughing too hard. Russia Offers to Send Election Monitors to US FBI Says No

www.moonofalabama.org

psychohistorian | Oct 20, 2016 11:00:21 PM | 77

Posted without comment cause I am laughing too hard.

http://www.telesurtv.net/english/news/Russia-Offers-to-Send-Election-Monitors-to-US-FBI-Says-No-20161020-0016.html

[Oct 20, 2016] Elections as forced rectal feeding.

www.nakedcapitalism.com

John October 19, 2016 at 10:03 pm

Do the elites really think the American people are going to swallow either one of these criminals as president?

Lee October 19, 2016 at 10:06 pm

It's called forced rectal feeding.

[Oct 20, 2016] I propose a drinking game: a shot of vodka every time Hillary mentions Russia

www.nakedcapitalism.com

Bjornasson October 19, 2016 at 8:52 pm

I propose a drinking game: a shot of vodka every time Hillary mentions Russia. If you want to pace yourself, a shot of vodka every time she talks about Russian aggression in Syria.

HotFlash October 19, 2016 at 9:19 pm

Sounds fine, but what should trigger a shot of Jack Daniels? Or a chug of Bud? Since all groups and income brackets should be able to play.

Bjornasson October 19, 2016 at 9:22 pm

He doesn't seem to be sniffing so much today … so there goes one idea. I think you NEED a shot of Jack Daniels every time Hillary laughs derisively after a Trump answer. As for beer chugs, every time Trump repeats himself within 2 sentences?

HotFlash October 19, 2016 at 9:50 pm

Done! And some peach schnapps if Healthcare is mentioned, by any name (the Healthcare, not the schnapps). I will report back tomorrow, if able.

[Oct 19, 2016] IF DONALD TRUMP ACTED LIKE HILLARY CLINTON...

Oct 19, 2016 | www.youtube.com

YouTube

Published on Oct 16, 2016

As soon as the first batch of Democratic Party emails were leaked in the Summer of 2016, the Blue Team started churning out Cold War propaganda, blaming it all on Russia while ignoring the damning contents of the emails. With each new leak of exposing information, the media hysteria about Russia continues to grow. If Donald Trump were to respond to his criticism like Hillary Clinton does, it might sound something like this... Cheers!

[Oct 14, 2016] If the press is unjust in dismissing these outlandish claims about the emails 'scandal' and Bill's supposed rape 'victims', then why do so many people still choose to consume these

Oct 14, 2016 | www.zerohedge.com
media outlets?
MillionDollarBonus_ ParkAveFlasher Oct 14, 2016 9:19 AM

The press is rightfully ignoring and discrediting ludicrous conspiracy theories! If the press is unjust in dismissing these outlandish claims about the emails 'scandal' and Bill's supposed rape 'victims', then why do so many people still choose to consume these media outlets? Are you accusing the majority of Americans of being gullible and misinformed? That seems like a pretty wild and unfair accusation!

Accredited Book Review – Stronger Together by Hillary Clinton Mr. Universe Occident Mortal Oct 14, 2016 11:54 AM I could laugh at the sarcasm MDB spouts off if it wasn't for the fact that everyday I come into contact with someone who actually believes it. I know to some I appear a bit defeatist, but it comes from the knowledge that around half of our population really IS with Hillary. Nothing you can say will change their minds and they are effectively those who will spy for the state any chance they get. While I still have hope, from where I sit, we are divided beyond repair, and it's all been part of their plan.

[Oct 12, 2016] Wall Street Executive Telling Friend How Amazing It Is To See Clinton Live

www.theonion.com
Telling several members of the investment bank's board of directors how they had to check her out whenever they get a chance, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein was overheard Monday describing to friends how incredible it is to see Hillary Clinton live.

"You can forget any recordings you've heard of Hillary, because they don't even compare to the experience of seeing her in person," said Blankfein, who excitedly recounted the first time he saw the Democratic presidential nominee in a small, intimate venue back in 2013, noting how he was instantly captivated by what he was hearing and found himself nodding along throughout the 90-minute solo performance.

[Oct 12, 2016] Russians halt search for intelligent life in Washington

off-guardian.org
Russian research team which claimed to have detected signs of intelligent life in Washington has now discovered the life there not to be quite so intelligent after all.

A Russian spokesman, who wishes to remain anonymous, told our Moscow science correspondent -who also wishes to remain anonymous- that the Washington atmosphere has been poisoned by huge clouds of putrid hot air belching from the corporate media. He explained that such a hostile environment makes it almost impossible for intelligent life to survive, let alone evolve a sustainable culture. The Russian team believes there may still be small pockets of intelligent life elsewhere on the North American continent but without the necessary conditions they need to thrive they are destined to disappear without trace.

Speaking off the record, the Russian spokesman, who asked us not to disclose his identity, added that hopes of finding intelligent life in London, Paris, Berlin and other Western European locations, where it might be expected to flourish, are fading fast. Though it is believed intelligent life once existed in Occiental Europe, an atmosphere suitable for the maintenance of such life has all but evaporated.

[Sep 24, 2016] Hillary Clinton in painfully awkward 'Between Two Ferns' interview -- 'I really regret doing this' - Washington Times

www.washingtontimes.com

Mr. Galifianakis then briefly interrupted the interview to play a campaign commercial for Mr. Trump, claiming the billionaire businessman was the show's top sponsor. He then wrapped up the exchange by telling Mrs. Clinton the two should stay in touch.

"What's the best way to reach you? Email?" he said.

[Sep 12, 2016] Caught red handed and still deflecting: the DNC is trying to Blame Russia for their own corrupt actions

The real question is whether the email are authentic or not. They are. Neoliberal propaganda honchos just decided to use a smoke screen to conceal this fact using Russia as a bogeyman. Russian might be guilty of many things, but in no way it is responsible for corruption of DNC and this subversive actions/covert operations used for installing Hillary Clinton as a candidate from the Democratic Party. .
Notable quotes:
"... Is it OK to cheat, lie and deceive - as Clintons and DNC did - and then defend themselves by saying that "nobody would know, if it wasn't for those damn Russians"? Even the idea is preposterous: how we find out about this corruption is irrelevant, the point is there was corruption and cheating. ..."
"... So the DNC is trying to Blame Russia for their own corrupt actions. ..."
"... [Under Clintons] democracy has become conspiracy ..."
"... Are you constipated? Blame it on Russia. ..."
"... Oh and blaming Russia for revealing the truth. The truth was not attacked, but who revealed the truth is suddenly the bad guy. So desperate and out of sorts. :) ..."
"... There's no proof, besides an unsourced article in the Washington Post form 'security experts', that Russia had anything to do with this. What we do know is that immediately after the leaks became public various news outlets produced obviously planted hit pieces claiming some kind of collusion between the Trump campaign and Putin, and again with precisely zero evidence as back up. It's gob smacking that the Clinton campaign would risk an international incident with a nuclear power to cover for their shitty behaviour, but then again it's Hillary Clinton so perhaps not. ..."
"... It may indeed be Russian hackers who gained access to the emails which confirm the DNC was all along in the tank for Clinton, and was actively placing a thumb on the scale from day one in the primary process. ..."
"... But the bottom line here is that if the DNC had not so conspired, there would be no emails to leak, now would there? For Mook and others to now be placing blame on the hackers, rather than on those who produced the embarrassing material that the hackers exposed, is diversionary and inexcusable. ..."
"... The funniest thing is, they don't even deny the authenticity of the emails. Basically, DNC says that someone is guilty of revealing the truth. You can hardly stoop any lower. Blaming Russia is just a cherry on the cake. ..."
"... How nice to have an eternal scapegoat: TheRussiansAreComing!TheRussiansAreComing! This will obviously be RodHam's theme as President. Perhaps to the point of annihilation. Neo-Conne! ..."
"... My biggest issue with Hillary from the start has been her continued nonchalance when it comes to matters of national security. She acts as if she is above the need to keep sensitive information safe from potential enemies, both foreign and domestic. That's a pretty scary attitude coming from someone who is likely to be this nation's next leader. ..."
"... It's amazing. Caught red handed and still deflecting. Take responsibility for Christ sak ..."
"... ".....Several of the emails released indicate that the officials, including Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, grew increasingly agitated with Clinton's rival, Bernie Sanders, and his campaign as the primary season advanced, in one instance even floating bringing up Sanders' religion to try and minimize his support. ..."
"... The more interesting part is that this blame is just a distraction from the larger issue, that the entire political system is corrupted and broken. This is just business as usual, only this instance was revealed. ..."
From comments to: Clinton campaign blames Russia for leaked DNC emails about Sanders
trholland1 , 2016-07-24 16:52:36
Methinks the lady doth protest overmuch;
NorthDakotan , 2016-07-24 16:46:50
I honestly can't wait for when the pro-clinron commentors arrive. I can see it now "this doesn't matter if you vote 3rd party you're voting for trump." It won't matter that this is all the fault of the DNC, it will be on us. I'm calling it now ;)
Beckow , 2016-07-24 16:42:09
Is it OK to cheat, lie and deceive - as Clintons and DNC did - and then defend themselves by saying that "nobody would know, if it wasn't for those damn Russians"? Even the idea is preposterous: how we find out about this corruption is irrelevant, the point is there was corruption and cheating.

Interestingly, this is a favorite defense of all authoritarians. They always claim that if it benefits the "enemy", it is ok to suppress it. Stalin had a concept of "objectively aiding the enemy" - it meant that maybe the person was not a conscious traitor, but his/her actions helped the enemy - and that was enough. Is Guardian and Clintons now marching down this road of extreme "us versus them" ideology?

What's is next? Will Clintons ban Bernie from speaking because it would "aid Trump"? (and by extension in their paranoid thinking, it would aid Russia).

calderonparalapaz , 2016-07-24 17:19:02
"Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook said on Sunday that "experts are telling us that Russian state actors broke into the DNC, stole these emails, [and are] releasing these emails for the purpose of helping Donald Trump."

So the DNC is trying to Blame Russia for their own corrupt actions.

Another reason on the list as to why I won't be voting for Hillary. Why did DNC act very anti-democratic?

A vote for Hillary is a vote for continued corruption.

qqqqqqmn , 2016-07-24 17:15:14
[Under Clintons] democracy has become conspiracy
silverbeech , 2016-07-24 17:11:46
Rather than blaming they ought to be taking responsibility for their own words. But they'd have to be adults with integrity to do that. The tragedy and travesty of it is the willful, routine, nonchalant effort to subvert the Constitution and the will of the people. These kinds of machinations have always gone on within both parties and should always be exposed. The SuperPACS, the dark money, the secret maneuverings, the totally broken primary system, all designed to stop our having our say. People elsewhere often wonder about "our" choices for the White House. Now they can see how much of that free choice has been wrested away over time, and how imperative it is that we ordinary people start working on positive change within the elective system. In my opinion all the DNC participants should lose their jobs and be made to cool their heels in jail a while, because without consequences we may as well just burn the Constitution and Bill of Rights right now and be done with it, for all the respect these documents are given by our politicians. What a revolting mess it all is on both sides, with ordinary people the losers, as always.
Lorenzo68 , 2016-07-24 17:10:03
Are you constipated? Blame it on Russia.
farright -> Lorenzo68 , 2016-07-24 17:22:05
Bad haircut? Blame Russia?
Puro , 2016-07-24 17:09:52
Oh and blaming Russia for revealing the truth. The truth was not attacked, but who revealed the truth is suddenly the bad guy. So desperate and out of sorts. :)
furminator -> Puro , 2016-07-24 17:20:53
There's no proof, besides an unsourced article in the Washington Post form 'security experts', that Russia had anything to do with this. What we do know is that immediately after the leaks became public various news outlets produced obviously planted hit pieces claiming some kind of collusion between the Trump campaign and Putin, and again with precisely zero evidence as back up. It's gob smacking that the Clinton campaign would risk an international incident with a nuclear power to cover for their shitty behaviour, but then again it's Hillary Clinton so perhaps not.
JVRTRL , 2016-07-24 17:09:24
A big part of the problem is that Debbie Wasserman Schultz (DWS) is still in her position. If the Democratic Party place a value on performance, she should have been fired after the 2014 mid-terms.

Part of the problem is that the DNC is too closely aligned with the interests of one political family. Competence and other considerations count for a lot less than loyalty. DWS kept her position because of the ties to Clinton and Clintons donors, not because she did a good job and grew the party. The opposite has happened.

Frankly, Obama bears some degree of responsibility for this because he's the one who canned Howard Dean, who actually had a track record of success at winning elections and growing the party through two election cycles. Instead Obama replaced him with a guy like Tim Kaine, who wasn't up to the task either. Dean also did a good job of navigating the very difficult 2008 election. Kaine and DWS did poorly in the capacity as DNC Chair.

As president, Obama has done a lot right. But his neglect of the DNC is part of his legacy, and it isn't a good one.

Lester Smithson , 2016-07-24 17:08:20
That's nice that those damn Russians 'stole' their email. However, those damn Russians didn't write them. I dislike and distrust Hillary and DWS more now that I did a week ago, and that takes some doing. Hillary is Nixon. Paranoid. Dishonest. Devious.
qqqqqqmn , 2016-07-24 17:04:21
how in the name of god can the overly compensated chairwoman of the democratic party conspire against a candidate supported by nearly half of democratic primary voters ???
kcma79 qqqqqqmn , 2016-07-24 17:11:10
Arrogance, power, support, money. Her overpowering arrogance has been a problem for a long time.
mrmetrowest Haigin88 , 2016-07-24 17:13:27
Kaine is in the same boat as Clinton on the TPP - the Good Ship Hypocrite. Both hope like hell that TPP gets passed in the lame duck so they can make a show of being against it to gain some progressive cred. If Obama and his colleagues Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan can't get TPP done before his term ends, Clinton and Kaine's reservations re TPP will disappear faster than a snowflake in July. It's like Clinton's about face on the Keystone pipeline - she got a heads up from Obama that he wasn't going to approve it anyway, so she came out against it.
monteverdi1610 , 2016-07-24 16:57:30
I love the irony of the comment from the Clinton Campaign..... '' This is further evidence the Russian Government is trying to influence the outcome of an election ''.

Heavens forbid that the USA would ever stoop so low as to try and influence the outcome of other Countries elections !!!
It of course being totally above Americians to indulge such devious behaviour .

europeangrayling monteverdi1610 , 2016-07-24 17:06:33
Very true, and Hillary was happy to support the violent Honduras coup of an elected government and still very much supports that new violent regime. And the new regime is very friendly to western big corporate 'interests'. Of course. Hillary is old-school.
beenheretoolong , 2016-07-24 16:54:41
Doesn't matter who did it, the Russians, Anonymous, Edward Snowden. The point is that the DNC is revealed as partisan and rigged. In addition to minimizing her role at the convention, I believe Wasserman Schultz should be dumped from any position of leadership, along with other DNC leaders. No wonder people are fed up with politics as usual.
Anonymot , 2016-07-24 16:57:05
"Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook said on Sunday that "experts are telling us that Russian state actors broke into the DNC, stole these emails, [and are] releasing these emails for the purpose of helping Donald Trump."
And Mook is the expert who whispered that lie in his own ear.

Great photo, Mook the Spook, her lover, a few bigtime aids. They got caught like Nixon's plumbers at Watergate. So they would like to blame the Russians for their writing calumnies and antiSemitic slanders against Sanders. They look pretty stupid!

gunnison , 2016-07-24 16:54:09

Mook said on Sunday that "experts are telling us that Russian state actors broke into the DNC, stole these emails, [and are] releasing these emails for the purpose of helping Donald Trump."

It may indeed be Russian hackers who gained access to the emails which confirm the DNC was all along in the tank for Clinton, and was actively placing a thumb on the scale from day one in the primary process.

Sanders knew it, and we as his supporters also knew it and made reference to that very issue repeatedly in countless comment threads here at the Guardian and elsewhere.

But the bottom line here is that if the DNC had not so conspired, there would be no emails to leak, now would there?
For Mook and others to now be placing blame on the hackers, rather than on those who produced the embarrassing material that the hackers exposed, is diversionary and inexcusable.

The Clinton campaign is moving closer and closer to blowing this election completely and allowing the most dangerous candidacy I've ever seen in my lifetime actually win this thing.

They've already selected a VP pick which effectively thumbs their nose at the very progressives whose enthusiasm they will need at the voting booths, and now here they are trying to deflect blame for unconscionable skullduggery in the primary process onto foreign actors.
Debbie Wassermann Schultz should have been fired long ago, so blatant and obvious were her shenanigans.

This kind of tone-deaf ineptitude could see all of us paying an unimaginable price in November. All it will take at this point is a few more mass shootings (at which we here in the US have a particular talent) to feed into Trump's narrative and we'll all be waking up in January in a country we don't even recognize.

ZombieMessiah -> gunnison , 2016-07-24 17:03:26
That's pretty much how I see things playing out, but with the DNC blaming the progressives for not being enthusiastic enough about Hillary.
Informed17 -> CarlosDaaanger , 2016-07-24 16:57:03
The funniest thing is, they don't even deny the authenticity of the emails. Basically, DNC says that someone is guilty of revealing the truth. You can hardly stoop any lower. Blaming Russia is just a cherry on the cake.
newjerseyboi , 2016-07-24 17:34:38
Just saw Bernie on CNN basically saying the Nr1 priority is to defeat D. Trump, then keep fighting the good fight from within the Democratic Party trying to reform it from within.
A big thing he misses here that the top honcho Mrs Hillary Clinton is one of the main reasons of what the Democratic Party has become. She will be a huge obstruction to anything resembling reform. You might as well pack up and go 3rd party and show the Dems that way what American voters want.

4 years of Trump might actually be a lot better to shake up the corrupt DNC then 4-8 years of Hillary and who knows how many years of Republicans 2 follow (and believe me, Hillary will do a lot of damage to the democratic brand!)

AfinaPallada , 2016-07-24 17:34:20
Clinton is desperate to lurk voters by anything, then let it be those Russians that hacked her mail. A Russian proverb to the point - "A bad dancer always blames his balls that hamper him".
furminator , 2016-07-24 17:31:47
If they'd backed off, allowed their MSM protectors to bury the story, this whole thing would have died down in a week. A few angry Bernie Bros notwithstanding there's nothing in the emails that we didn't know already. Yes the DNC and the Hillary Clinton campaign were one and the same....shock! Yes sections of the corporate owned media are colluding with the Democratic Party....wowsers!! But no, they couldn't help themselves. Now we've got the Democratic nominee for the Presidency alleging, with zero proof, that her opponent is engaged in a conspiracy to commit criminal acts with a foreign power! Seriously who thought this was a good idea?
mijkmijld , 2016-07-24 17:31:26
How nice to have an eternal scapegoat: TheRussiansAreComing!TheRussiansAreComing! This will obviously be RodHam's theme as President. Perhaps to the point of annihilation. Neo-Conne!
smokinbluebear , 2016-07-24 17:31:25
Sanders should demand that Tulsi Gabbard replace DWS at the convention (or as VP)
PottyPants , 2016-07-24 17:31:20
My biggest issue with Hillary from the start has been her continued nonchalance when it comes to matters of national security. She acts as if she is above the need to keep sensitive information safe from potential enemies, both foreign and domestic. That's a pretty scary attitude coming from someone who is likely to be this nation's next leader.
Janosik53 , 2016-07-24 17:29:59
Hillary Wasserman Clinton Kaine--the same democratic corruptocracy; plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Putin is waiting to release Hillary's SoS emails. October Surprise, anyone? Bwah-ha-ha-ha.

BigL64 , 2016-07-24 17:29:20
It's amazing. Caught red handed and still deflecting. Take responsibility for Christ sake!
HenneyAndPizza , 2016-07-24 17:27:56
lol

Putin ate my homework (TM). What Debbie and the gang did is worse, much worse than this sorry article tries to portray. For example, what sort of Democratic Party tries to use Bearnie's religion agsinst him ?!?

".....Several of the emails released indicate that the officials, including Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, grew increasingly agitated with Clinton's rival, Bernie Sanders, and his campaign as the primary season advanced, in one instance even floating bringing up Sanders' religion to try and minimize his support.

****"It might may [sic] no difference, but for KY and WA can we get someone to ask his belief," Brad Marshall, CFO of DNC, wrote in an email on May 5, 2016. "Does he believe in God. He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage.

I read he is an atheist. This could make several points difference with my peeps. My southern baptist peeps woudl draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist."****

"Amy Dacey, CEO of the DNC, subsequently responded "AMEN," according to the email"

Yikes!

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/emails-released-wikileaks-show-dnc-aid-hillary-clinton/story?id=40815253

And this is the "democracy" they keep telling you is the 'better of two evils'.

Hilarious

JelloBeyonce , 2016-07-24 16:53:50
The more interesting part is that this blame is just a distraction from the larger issue, that the entire political system is corrupted and broken. This is just business as usual, only this instance was revealed.

Has anyone here worked, I mean truly worked in the pre-election process, behind the scenes, witnessing the dirty business that is gathering electoral votes during caucuses and primaries? It is a total sham. It is where under-the-table deals are made for promised loyalties to certain candidates, where those that have the most, bribe others to vote a certain way, where quid pro quo rules over democracy or a candidates stance on issues and/or policies. It is where future cabinet positions are secured, based on allegiance to party hierarchy and strong-arming. Your vote means nothing, only a small select group determines candidates, and ultimately the president.

DNC Chair Wasserman is just one cog in a massive political machine, one run rampantly out of control. And this happens on both sides, among both parties. It is where the personal selfish love of money, power, and fame outstrip the will of the people.

Long live hackers for keeping a check on an obviously corrupted system. The mainstream media isn't doing their jobs anymore, someone has to. The media have merely become the pretorian band for the super class, those elite that truly control this country from behind the scenes, pulling the puppet strings attached to the soulless politicians.

We are again presented with two candidates whom have each proven their desire to negate the will of the nation, for purely selfish reasons. Neither is truly qualified for this office.

"There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to trust no [hu]man living with the power to endanger the public liberty".
-John Adams-

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become more corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters"
-Ben Franklin-

[Sep 09, 2016] What if illary appoints Victoria Nuland Secretary of State

Jul 08, 2016 | theintercept.com

Erelis -> RootieKazootie, June 8 2016, 3:27 p.m.

Worse yet, if Hillary appoints Victoria Nuland Secretary of State. The effect will be like turning on Skynet.
Doug Salzmann -> Erelis, June 8 2016, 4:00 p.m.

But we might get cookies.

elwood, June 8 2016, 12:49 p.m.

Now Clinton can put together her ticket.
She's tapping Martin Shkreli as her VP, and they're calling it the Super Predator ticket.

[Sep 09, 2016] Imagine the SNL parody of Bubba meeting Lynch

Jul 01, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Michael Hudson July 1, 2016 at 3:52 pm

Imagine the SNL parody of Bubba meeting Lynch.

Lynch: How is your granddaughter Chelsea?
Bubba: She's fine. How are your grandkids?
Lynch: They're doing great too.
Bubba: Too bad if anything were to happen to them …

[Sep 09, 2016] Funny I always thought of the anti-Christ as a man

Jul 29, 2016 | www.truthdig.com

Michael Valentine 41 minutes ago

I understand she said something about being a steady hand at the time of reckoning. Funny always thought of the anti Christ would be a man. Does this make me sexist?

[Aug 28, 2016] People really want to see Donald and Hillary on Dancing With The Stars.

www.moonofalabama.org
dh | Aug 26, 2016 1:48:16 PM | 27
There's a whole new demographic out there raised on twitter and potty jokes. What they really want is to see Donald and Hillary on Dancing With The Stars.

[Aug 27, 2016] Artists Impression Of Hillary Clintons Old Office

Notable quotes:
"... Source: MichaelPRamirez.com ..."
www.zerohedge.com

Presented with no comment...

Source: MichaelPRamirez.com

Here2Go d nmewn •Aug 27, 2016 8:37 PM
Is that Huma in a blue dress under the Resolute desk?
Pairadimes d Here2Go •Aug 27, 2016 9:14 PM
Ramirez is a genius.
zeronetwork d debtor of last resort •Aug 27, 2016 8:15 PM

The thought process Donald has started is not going to fade very soon. Still few weeks before election. I am sure Donald got some more cards in his sleeve.
are we there yet •Aug 27, 2016 8:36 PM
I have a solution for Hillary's in-continuance and mobility declining problems. The chair behind the presidents desk should be a wheelchair with a bedpan. Otherwise the term 'campaign trail' will take on a whole new meaning.

[Aug 27, 2016] Mental deficiency in action: Vladimir Putin is the grand-godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism. , said Hillary Clinton while standing in front of a gigantic American Flag, without a trace of Irony detectable in her voice

"Hillary Clinton is completely devoid of any sense of irony or humour. She's a complete emotional and, I would add, intellectual dud."
Notable quotes:
"... Hillary Clinton is completely devoid of any sense of irony or humour. She's a complete emotional and, I would add, intellectual dud. ..."
www.moonofalabama.org

Shillary | Aug 26, 2016 5:22:34 PM | 50

Lol PRAVDA

During a campaign rally in Nevada, US presidential candidate Hillary Clinton spoke about the dangers of right-wing forces in power, as well as about problems of racism.

"Clinton noted that her rival Donald Trump supported the policies of Russian President Vladimir Putin. As for relations with Russia, the views of Donald Trump come contrary to the views of all American presidents, from "Truman to Reagan."

"He talks casually of abandoning our NATO allies, recognizing Russia's annexation of Crimea, giving the Kremlin a free hand in eastern Europe. American presidents from Truman, to Reagan, to Bush, to Clinton, to Obama have rejected the kind of approach Trump is taking on Russia. And we should, too," Clinton said.

"Vladimir Putin is the grand-godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism.", Hillary Clinton said", (while standing in front of a gigantic American Flag, without a trace of Irony detectable in her voice)

Hoarsewhisperer | Aug 27, 2016 2:55:01 AM | 71
...
"Vladimir Putin is the grand-godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism.", Hillary Clinton said, (while standing in front of a gigantic American Flag, without a trace of Irony detectable in her voice).
Posted by: Shillary | Aug 26, 2016 5:22:34 PM | 50

Yep. Dangerously stupid. Superficial and self-absorbed Hollywoodishness; the polar opposite of self-aware.

Quentin | Aug 27, 2016 6:32:49 AM | 78

Shillary @50 -- Hillary Clinton is completely devoid of any sense of irony or humour. She's a complete emotional and, I would add, intellectual dud. She seems to be a good lawyer, though --- in the US lawyers as far as the eye can see.

[Aug 27, 2016] "Oh, so you don't have soul either?!

Hillary has also stated publicly that "Putin has no soul" (to which Putin replied "at least I have a brain):

[Aug 25, 2016] Hillary Clintons Liberal Elite Summer Tour,

Notable quotes:
"... "Please use caution in opening the overhead bins, as Hillary's baggage may have shifted during flight," the "flight attendant" says as the ad ends. ..."
Aug 25, 2016 | angrybearblog.com

The 19-second video, titled "Hillary Clinton's Liberal Elite Summer Tour," begins with an image of an airplane bearing Clinton's logo. A voiceover resembling an announcement from a flight attendant names some of the stops on Clinton's schedule, including Los Angeles, Beverly Hills and Martha's Vineyard.

"Please use caution in opening the overhead bins, as Hillary's baggage may have shifted during flight," the "flight attendant" says as the ad ends.

Clinton spent her weekend on Martha's Vineyard and held a fundraiser in Nantucket. On Tuesday, Clinton is headlining a $33,400-per-guest event being hosted by Justin Timberlake and his wife, actress Jessica Biel.

"Hillary Clinton claims she's running to be a champion for 'everyday Americans,' but her busy week of fundraisers with her friends in the wealthy liberal elite show who she's really fighting for," RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said in a statement. "Rather than visit flood-ravaged Louisiana or end her more than 250-day streak without a press conference, she's taking her private jet from coast to coast raking in piles of campaign cash to fund her status quo campaign.

"Donald Trump is the candidate of true change in this election, and he is leading a grassroots movement to put an end to business as usual in Washington and make a difference in the lives of all Americans."

New RNC ad attacks Clinton's fundraisers , Rebecca Morin, Politico, yesterday

[Aug 14, 2016] The African Plant

www.counterpunch.org

A recent NBC news poll shows that 72 percent of registered Republicans still aren't sure whether Barack Obama was born in the United States. It wasn't clear from the poll data how many Republicans consider Hawai'i part of the US. Let's cut them a break and assume that most of them recognize the legitimacy of the Islands of Aloha.

I'm a little sympathetic to their theory. In fact, I'm "all in" for a US President who was secretly born on the African continent. But don't you think the Kenyans could have come up with a better plant than Obama?

[Aug 12, 2016] Meet the 'Hookers for Hillary'

I wonder for how many of them Slick Willie was a patron ;-).
Notable quotes:
"... According to the National Task Force on Prostitution , it's estimated that well over 1 million people in the U.S. have worked as prostitutes - or roughly 1 percent of American women. If this campaign is a success, that could translate into some serious voting power. ..."
The Daily Beast


"Everyday Americans need a champion," Hillary Clinton proclaimed in her YouTube video. "And I want to be that champion."

Yes, few were surprised when Hilary Clinton announced her campaign for the 2016 U.S. presidential race, but many were surprised by some of her early supporters. Since that announcement, the lovable ladies of Nevada's renowned Moonlite Bunny Ranch have come out in support of our former first lady in a serious, potentially large-scale campaign called "Hookers for Hillary." These Everyday Americans have chosen their candidate.

... ... ...

Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof agrees. "With Obamacare the girls were able to buy good health insurance and without it they weren't able to. Since Day One when I bought the brothel in 1992 no legal prostitute could get health insurance," says Hof.

According to the National Task Force on Prostitution, it's estimated that well over 1 million people in the U.S. have worked as prostitutes - or roughly 1 percent of American women. If this campaign is a success, that could translate into some serious voting power.

[Aug 01, 2016] Hillary Clinton Gives Honest Speech To Goldman Sachs, Stuns Audience Into Silence

Warning: Satire!
www.trueactivist.com
The following is a leaked transcript of Hillary Clinton's first speech to Goldman Sachs delivered on 6/04/2013. Two other speeches are also rumored to be in circulation awaiting publication. This is the full transcript. Secretary Clinton received $225,000 for this speech. The speech has not been confirmed or authenticated.

CLINTON: Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you very much, Lloyd [Blankfein], and thanks to everyone at Goldman Sachs for welcoming me today. I'm delighted to be back among friends, colleagues, collaborators, supporters, kindred spirits…

Let me jump right in. You know, over the past few months, there have been popular concerns about an economy that still isn't delivering for the majority of Americans. It's not "delivering" the way that they feel it should, that they feel entitled to. Most Americans that you speak to, speak a populist rhetoric that claims it is stacked for those at the top, that those of you here have it too good.

(Laughter)

But we know the hopes that the little people have for their future - things like school, job, food, clothing on their backs– all of those little things would not be possible without your leadership and innovation. Since the time of the Medicis, even before, and the financing of the first joint stock companies in the transatlantic slave trade, we know that finance and banking is what makes our capitalist economy not just grow but tick…

Previous generations of Americans built this economy and a middle class on a collective illusion: that they do productive work, this creates wealth, and that this builds the economy. We all know how misguided that is. We know that it's really due to your investing, credit, and economic stewardship, that they have been able to work at all, that they are able to put food on their tables. It's due to you and other banking, trading, investment houses that we have an economy that works at all. You are why we are a truly 21st century economic power.

(Applause)

You, Lloyd, and your colleagues, have been instrumental in that. People say you are overpaid or even parasitic, parasites on the economic body, and they quote a long line of seemingly "unethical behavior". They equate with you everything that is wrong and immoral with Capitalism, they charge that you have acted ruthlessly and unethically, "rigging every major market bubble since the Great Depression".

(Hissing)

But I-contrary to populist, hysterical demonizing–firmly believe that what you do is essential and critical: you help allocate our investment, direct our economic development, hedge risks, and create power, policies, and alliances in ways that make our country stronger, richer, more powerful, more innovative, competitive, and yes, more "democratic". You underwrite our elections and our political process-taking on the huge cost of enabling democratic dialogue at its biggest, broadest capacity. Your tireless work adds true value, and without you, we would still be struggling helplessly against industrial powerhouses in Asia and across the world trying to compete with them on the level of industry, technology, innovation, and hard work, at which they would beat us hands down. It's your financial innovation, your speculative tools, which allow us new ways of creating value without sweat or struggle, that gives us the competitive advantage. It's this vision, this technological innovation, this financial wizardry, this is what makes America great and powerful.

(Applause)

For decades, people have argued that if we give more wealth to those at top by cutting taxes and letting you and other corporations write the own rules, it will trickle down, it will trickle down to everyone else. And it has! My speech here is an example!

(Cackles, Waves Check)

(Laughter).

But seriously, I believe that the work of Goldman Sachs is critical for us, and without you, America would be a faint shadow of its current greatness. Your work in innovating finance, in creating new sources of wealth and investment, your tireless efforts stimulating the creation of new financial instruments, in lobbying politicians, in monopolizing the treasury and cabinet, in setting and binding the parameters of financial regulation that allows fluidity and flexibility in investment and speculation, this allows us to create wealth-almost out of thin air. It's this alchemy, this genius, this Midas touch-which is one of the most under-appreciated and under-acknowledged contributions in modern economic history.

(Applause)

It's fair to say that you have transformed the solid, clunky, friction-laiden trading of traditional commodity speculation into responsive, intelligent, liquid flows, that have vaporized every barrier and transformed into an expansive, responsive, endlessly expanding gas that fills every atom of our productive economic space that generates immeasurable value everywhere it goes, and everything it touches. Who cares that it's a little chaotic or "unethical"? That it seems tied to every financial scandal and crisis and economic catastrophe in history? Not me. "Creative Destruction" is all part of the game, and you are masters of it.

(Applause)

Some will say that you are simply parasitic on those who labor at menial physical production-these are people who still subscribe to 18 Century notions of value production–and that you skim off profit without doing anything meaningful or of value. Those people are misguided: we know that if money never sleeps, that's because you keep it awake! You have-if I may use a metaphor–injected money with caffeine, Adderal, crack, meth, with LSD so that it can dance the crazy dance and grow a crazy thousand psychedelic feet tall in a rainbow minute! Money was a lazy b*tch, until you put it to work! And look how it works! Look how it grows! Materializes out of nowhere!

(Waves check again, dances, cackles).

Some people have said that it was your irresponsible financial engineering, risk-taking, and profit-seeking, that led to the 2008 crash; that you shorted your own toxic mortgages in the most brazen securities fraud in financial history, dynamiting and imploding the global economy; and that the exorbitant bonuses paid from tax payer money, the financial bailouts, the non-prosecutions created moral hazard, rewarded avarice, incompetence, corruption and vice. You and I know it is nothing of the sort. As leaders, innovators, captains of finance, you will always be subject of the jealous resentment, the petty tantrums of the unwashed masses, the insolvent, the irresponsible, the invidious, the losers. They will envy you, your successes, they will despise you, but they secretly want to be like you!

(Laughter)

As you know, my husband tried very hard to change the culture of this misbegotten underclass, by kicking them off the government teat, by poisoning their milk with harsh, bitter regulation, and by disciplining them with the most arbitrary, racist, punitive, devastating criminal laws in US history, laws which Richard Nixon, the Southern strategists, the slave catchers, could only have dreamed of. He also passed NAFTA, which told them in no uncertain terms that they needed to discipline themselves as workers, and learn to be competitive in the global sweatshop, or face certain extinction. But they have not learned their lesson.

(Hissing)

The effects prove themself. Under President Clinton - I like the sound of that!- America saw the longest, most prodigious reaming of the undesirable classes in our history, putting them firmly in their places. And they loved it! He felt their pain! And relished it! Because he was inflicting it!

(Applause)

And I will too!

(Applause)

Now today - today, another capitalist crisis looms, bigger and more dangerous than 2008, and again we hear sentimental cries for populist reform. I believe we have to stave off these demands to reform the banking and the financial system, and restructure the economy more equitably. You can't build an economy without the smart people-the Titans and Gods of Finance-like you–to direct the economy, and for the smart people to do their work, you need to be rewarded for your efforts, and you need a free hand to exercise your brilliance.

(Applause)

Books like "The Spirit Level" and organizations working for equality, certain politicians, spew a ridiculous myth of populism and the benefits of equality. But the fact is, we can't create profitable businesses without exploitation, and we can't grow the economy without speculation and inequality, and we certainly can't boost our economy into the stratosphere without allowing you to exercise your amazing financial intelligence and acumen in fiscal number-crunching, speculation, numbers-running and fraud!

(Applause)

Just think of this: can you imagine a football game without gambling? It would be dull, mind-numbing-who would watch steroid-addled jocks rut and slam into each other mindlessly without having put down money on the outcome? Who would pay the huge salaries for these vapid idiots? It's only because you have bet on the outcome that people become excited about the sport: it becomes life-and-death-thrilling! It becomes paint-your-face-get-shit-faced exciting! Act-stupid-exciting! That's what you do: you add excitement, thrill, value, and enthusiasm to the dull, dirty job of growing the economy, you make the game exciting, sexy, which draws more money into the game, the casino, that expands the excitement, grows the customer base, develops the economy, and that's priceless! You speculate, stimulate, titillate, dynamize, satyriasize the entire economy! I am such a fan! Go Goldman Sachs!

(Does little cheerleading number, complete with hand gestures)

Gooold-Maaan-Sachs!

(Applause)

Let's tell the truth: America is struggling-despite the endless fabrication about "the recovery"– because we are not yet running the way we should. Banks are still over regulated. It's over-regulation that creates financial catastrophe! Despite your huge paychecks and squirreled away assets, I know that you are worried: worried that some "socialist" demagogue might come along and confiscate it all and put you all in jail. With president Obama, you were in good hands: he's one of us. (Good thing you ponied up $981K for his campaign). He took good care of you, had your back, covered your financial rear. But populist sentiment is rising up again, more strongly than before, and the unwashed masses are full of resentment, anger, jealousy. They are angry that they don't have jobs, that they are in debt, that they can't scrape a living together, even though they are working, 2,3,4 jobs to put shelter over their heads. That their children are starving. That they cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel. They are angry about the 100 million people driven into the brink of starvation and the global food riots that they claim you caused with your commodity futures speculation. The $5Trillion of value lost from the markets that they claim you collapsed. The millions who lost their homes and are now on the verge of homelessness. The trillions funneled to you in loans, write-offs, bribes to keep the system going. Even when I was working for Barry (Goldwater), I felt that same irrational resentment. Now it's at an all time high. Irresponsible single mothers, uneducated immigrants, lead-drinking ghetto-strutters, homeless, crying, babies, starving senior citizens, obnoxious, entitled African Americans who object to having bullets pumped into their bodies by police: all these people are angry, entitled, and making noise, and they are endangering our democracy and economy, our greatness.

(Hissing)

I hear this everywhere I go. A single mother, with three children-wants to go to college, find enjoyable, well-paid work and also enjoy the emotional luxuries of motherhood-all at the same time. Everyone feels entitled to everything. She even wants housing. Now even I couldn't do all these things, despite my incredible privilege and intelligence. But they want it all, now. Three children?

(Booing)

A grandmother, playing with children-it makes her happy like a cow, but she still feels entitled to be paid. Because she wants to feed her drug habit, she wants to sell them for more money….she wants it all!

(Booing)

A student, with an unmarketable degree in women's studies, specializing in medieval feminist villanelles, wants debt forgiveness, and a high-paid job putting her non-existent skills analyzing romance language texts to use and profit in a rewarding cause. She also wants a pony, a sensitive but dominant lover, a villa on the Riviera, and World Peace!

(Cackles).

(Laughter)

Millions of working sad-sack Americans have similar fantasies. They want more money. More pay. Decent wages for hard work. They think it grows on trees. They think that money will grow and nuzzle up to them in their sleep, when they have no money-appeal. They think they can tax Other People's Money to get what they want. They don't realize Money has to be jacked up the ass, stuck in the veins with meth, dragged out and pimped to make more! You have figured out how to make your money work, turned it into a profit-generating prostitute! The future expected earnings of a profit-generating prostitute! That you've shorted! These people, idiots, all of them, they expect money to come to them! Without Scheming! Without reaming others! By working hard and being good! Like puppies and ponies! Like flowers after a downpour! Like the lilies of the valley! Like utopian visions of a drug-addled socialist!

(Laughter)

Wages need to be kept down, and people just need to work harder. Damn harder. At least as hard as Bill worked to keep Haiti down.

(Applause)

We must lower incomes for low-value working schmucks, so they give up on any notions of a middle-class life. But more than that, we must reduce the slick, unsustainable bigotry of expectation: the profit-sucking cage of entitlement, expectation, and imagination. We must drive income down steadily and siphon that surplus wealth to you, the captains of finance, so that we can build a strong economy that is innovative, powerful, that acknowledges and rewards your acumen…

(Applause)

And that will be my mission, from the first day I am president to the last. I…

(Applause)

I will get up every day thinking about you, the hard-working Wizards of Finance, Lords of Capital, Economic Giants of Innovation, Noble Titans that make us strong and powerful!

(Applause)

I came from a petit-bourgeois family with a drapery business that exploited workers to give me good middle-class life, a first-class education, and my incorrigibly elitist beliefs. It put me on third base, instead of striking out. As I try to steal home, I will be thinking about all the Wall Street bankers that I represented in New York and the "advice" that they gave me, and I will work with them-for you– to give them the maximum freedom to do what's best for them. Because what's best for Wall Street is what's best for the US. What's best for Goldman Sachs is what's best for the planet. I promise to take on this challenge against the clamoring, whining, agitating babies demanding for major changes in our economy and the global economy, demanding for equity and justice. These demands are stupid beyond belief.

(Laughter)

As you know, advances in financial technology and global trade have created new areas of commercial activity and opened new markets for our exports. Too often policy wonks want to resort to protectionist measures because they don't realize that these treaties are designed to suck wealth out of the third world and suck it into your portfolios. These people suffer from a lack of big-picture thinking. They believe that they are still going to be building widgets in a factory if it were not for the 1 billion Chinese stealing their jobs. They don't understand that we are sucking the lifeblood out of both of the Chinese and all workers-the vampire squid with the blood funnel-creating value, wealth, growth!

(Cackles)

Today's marketplace focuses on the short-term, instantaneous financial trading, and short-term earnings reports, and that's just how it should be. Those who are struggling need to rent out their living rooms, garages, bathrooms, dog houses, sell trinkets on EBay, sell themselves, their time and their bodies in the gig economy. All of this creates exciting, dynamic extra wealth, which should go to you, the geniuses of the universe, because you are the ones driving this with your investments, speculations, deregulation, policy capture, and of course outright bribes. There's no problem that a little more liberalization and deregulation can't make better!

(Takes out check and cackles)

[Aug 01, 2016] When Snowden first fled the country in 2013, Clinton stated that she could never condone what he did.

www.trueactivist.com

She said the former NSA employee was a "Traitor" who had "blood on his hands," reports DailyCaller.

Again, intriguing, considering that the war criminal is to blame for destabilizing Haiti and making Libya a failed state – among other unsavory accomplishments

[Aug 01, 2016] American Horror Story - Welcome to the Scream Room

Medium

This week it's the Democrats, with their tired-looking cast-members repeating lines that sounded hokey the first time in between guest appearances by beloved celebrities all hoping the networks won't cancel. They've got the script and they've got the stars, but they're still trying to find the right narrative arc, because the American public's disbelief is rapidly losing suspension. This is not politics, not as I know it at home. This is something else. This is pantomime.

There is a certain look that I've been sharing with other visiting foreign journalists this week and it is just that - a look, sometimes with the hands spread in a horrified half shrug, because sometimes there are just no words, even when there have to be, you know, because that's how we make rent.

How to possibly express the choreographed insanity of this brassy, breadless circus? How are we meant to actually communicate like human beings when we are trapped here, sweating on the floor of the dream factory as they hand out buttons and baseball caps plastered with empty slogans? It reminds me, more than anything else, of a music festival, down to the overpriced snacks, the complicated entry system, the constant impression that the weather is trying to kill you, and the way that normal rules are suspended as we pretend, briefly, that another world is possible. Specifically, world where the political process is simple and unsaleable, and strong leaders can change things for the better. A world where hope is feasible and our votes matter and we all go, as Philip Larkin once said, down the long slide to happiness, endlessly.

... ... ...

This is not practical politics. This is pure pageantry, pure mythmaking in a nation that has always survived by singing a song of itself. A nation of three hundred million souls and half a billion guns torn apart by violence and uncertainty, held together by pomp and circumstance and precious little else. What is on show at the conventions is very different from the politics that exist, day to day, month to month, as a material force in people's material lives. The conventions are a bubble universe where we all, press and public and PR people and random rain-soaked flunkies, try to float on suspension-strings of disbelief. We know we're being lied to. Those complaining about the lies have missed the point.

... ... ...

Here's the story the Democrats are selling. They cannot persuade America, or the world, that liberalism is plausible, that change will come in a way that makes a meaningful difference to millions of lives; what they are offering, in practical terms, is the vestige of democracy against the certainty of dictatorship. They are offering things not getting quite so much worse quite so fast. That's a hard sell.

[Aug 01, 2016] Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am

Medium

What the fuck is your problem, America??

I'm Hillary goddamn Clinton. I'm a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane network of powerful friends. I'm willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so I can fix this fucking country for you. And all you little bitches need to do is get off your asses one goddamn day in November.

"Oh but what about your eeeemaaaaillls???" Shut the fuck up. Seriously, shut the fuck up and listen for one fucking second...

But you know what? I don't fucking care. If I gave two shits about the haters I would've dropped the game decades ago.

[Jul 29, 2016] What the fuck is your problem, America

www.truthdig.com

A Hillary Clinton parody account on Medium wrote what the real Hillary Clinton has wanted to say for a long time in an article titled "Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am." Here's a sample:

What the fuck is your problem, America??

I'm Hillary goddamn Clinton. I'm a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane network of powerful friends. I'm willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so I can fix this fucking country for you. And all you little bitches need to do is get off your asses one goddamn day in November.

"Oh but what about your eeeemaaaaillls???" Shut the fuck up. Seriously, shut the fuck up and listen for one fucking second.

Here's all you need to know about me:

1. In 1992, I said I was proud to have followed my career instead of baking cookies.

2. The GOP fucking dragged me for it. They made me bake cookies. They're scared of me.

3. Every time I have a job, y'all love me. Every time I run for anything, the GOP breaks out the big guns again and fucks me up good. And apparently it fucking works.

But you know what? I don't fucking care. If I gave two shits about the haters I would've dropped the game decades ago.

[Jul 28, 2016] Russians take performance enhancing drugs: Americans dont!!!

marknesop.wordpress.com
Moscow Exile , July 26, 2016 at 9:17 am

Russians take performance enhancing drugs: Americans don't!!!

[Jul 28, 2016] Gloomy morning or problems with organizing the second color revolution in Russia

Pretty biting satire, if you ask me...
Jun 17, 2015 | mikle1.livejournal.com
For the US Ambassador to Russia John Tefft it was real pain to wake up this morning. A horrible headache, dry mouse and feeling like a herd of frightened wild Mustangs run over him...

He suddenly remembered that the last evening everything looked so well: after coming home from the Bolshoi theater, he drank just four shots of whiskey, looked for a while out his window on evening Moscow streets, and then went to bed with a sense of duty well performed.

However, at 2 a.m. Tefft was awakened by a phone call on closed government line. It was Secretary of State John Kerry, who unfortunately managed to broke his leg a few days before while skiing, and now was forced to pay more attention to his regular duties. In the way he greeted him John instantly recognized a hidden mocking , beneath which was hidden the real irritation. Which happened recently more and more often...

-- Listen Tefft, are you feeling all right to be Moscow?, and Tefft immediately felt in the voice of his boss signs of a real storm.

"I think," Kerry decided to answered the question himself, " that you feel bad, if not very bad... As I was told that you've gained as much as two kilograms in three months..."

Tefft realized that he has just two options: either to answer these rhetorical questions, or continue to listen and hope to wait out this storm. The Ambassador chose the latter.

Meanwhile Kerry continued:

-- I get the impression that you became a complete slacker. Look at Jeffrey Payette in Ukraine. That's an example of a real diplomat. And unlike you he did managed to organized a coup d'état the last year? Beautiful job -- And then pushed for civil war in Eastern Ukraine. Can you match any of those achievements Tefft? Of course, I understand that prior to 2013, it was you, who prepared the ground for all this in Ukraine, but it was Jeffrey who got real results

Tefft continued to be humbly silent, and Kerry became even hotter:

-- BTW do you remember that you main task was to organize mass protests in Russia and unite the opposition movement under strong leaders, which can assume the power. That's why we send you to this country. Where are the results, I ask you? Where is the democratization of Russia? Why you just wasting money of American taxpayers? Why there are zero result so far, I ask you ?

When we realize that it's really difficult to stage mass protests in Moscow, you were instructed to organize the triumphal sequence of mass protests in other major cities of Russia. Money were allocated accordingly. And what came of it? What did you achieve so far?

Tefft attempted to insert a word in the speech of the Secretary of State:

-- Look, John, everything work according to plan, all allocated funds are already transferred to our recipients and supporters...

-- You are joking , -- immediately interrupted Kerry -- I understand that they got money. But it looks like that was it... For example important for us "Lustration" movement died out on the wine completely.

After that Tefft heard some strange sounds in the tube probably belonging to a woman. He assumed that it was iether Hillary or Victoria Nuland, who entered the room.

-- And what about complete fiasco with he visit of Kasyanov to Novosibirsk? -- it was clear that Kerry suddenly became more vicious -- "You should probably know that we paid for at least ten thousands of opponents of the current Russian regime to meet him. Where were they?

-- And Kasyanov himself... Oh my God -- Even by his appearance it's clear that he had it enough, and the only thing he wants is to return to Moscow. Were was his fighting sprit for which we pay so much money? And what nonsense was he was blabbing? He was giver the script. Can he read? Why his only praise Novosibirsk was like: "The roads here are just as bad. And the faces in residents are even more sullen then in Moscow..."? And this man wants people to vote for him, right ? He came, he was kicked in the teeth and he left without a fight... A great leader of protest movement, nothing to say... Why he did not speak about brilliant perspectives of Russia in case of victory of the RPR - Parnas? After all Ukrainians did believed that they will have a bright future together with the EU and NATO? Do you think they are much dumber then Siberians? And why he begin to complain about the rake, which somebody threw under his car back in 2008 and pretend that this was an attempt on his life. He was in the armored car, this idiot!

-- Enough is enough.. Tell Kasyanov to get another round of training ASAP and he should never deviate from the taking points we wrote for him.. Now the principle of cooperation changes to: first results - then money. No results, no money. Please convey this message to him.

-- and similar blunder with Alexei Navalny visit to Novosibirsk? We agreed and discussed that after eggs stones will be used to hit him. Were all those pre-paid stones disappeared? What happened? Why only eggs were used? Where are the stones, Tefft? I ask you again, where are all the prepaid stones? Where are bruises and injuries on our hero? How we can present him as the victim of a brutal regime without any injuries? How we can organize the outrage of the world community with just eggs. This your blunder undermines our efforts in further tightening of sanctions against Russia...

-- John, -- timidly dared to say Tefft, -- everything was organized perfectly well. The only problem was too heavy traffic and traffic jams in Novosibirsk. It was due to jams our guys did not get stones in time...

-- Yes, but they got the money in time, right John? - sarcastically remarked Kerry, So please shut up and just listen...

-- If you decided to promote Russian democratic opposition in Siberia then perform this competently and effectively as you obviously can. Like you did in Western Ukraine, after all. And if you are unable even to provide normal numbers of protesters, please at least submit fake photos with thousands of Novosibirsk residents in the queue willing to vote for the opposition... Or I need to explain to you how this is done?

-- And please ensure that the number opposition press reported were very close and multiplied by at least ten. Not like in the last case when one source reported 1104 opposition voters and the other reported 2580. Not only those numbers are just ridiculously small, they differ from each other way too much!

And finally, why Novosibirsk leaders of newly united RPR-Parnas party already managed to quarrel among themselves and started to accuse each other of massive fraud. Is this about who gets our money? Greedy bustards. Please take care about this issue and explain those jerks how they should behave.

In short, Tefft, if you don't make right conclusions, we probably will soon transfer you to some African country. The one were there are still cannibals... All the best."

After such a conversation Tefft quickly finished the bottle. A now this gloomy Moscow morning is upon him again and something needs to be done with all this disappearing and lying Russian opposition who like to take money but can't produce the desired results. He cursed his job and opened the second the bottle of whisky.

"I am starting to behave like a real Russian" he melancholically observed and poured the first short. He instantly felt better. And somewhat proud about this idea about becoming Russian. He drunk the second shot and thought "F*$% Kerry, if you sucker come here I will find some ketchup to greet you". Go to hell. And poured the third shot almost immediately.

 

[Jul 28, 2016] 20 years ago, America was very pleased about how the elections had gone in Russia. Now they have Hillary

marknesop.wordpress.com
Moscow Exile , July 26, 2016 at 9:12 am
20 лет назад Америке очень нравилось, как проходили выборы в России

20 years ago, America was very pleased about how the elections had gone in Russia

But now it is the other way around. At granny Hillary's HQ they have become so hysterical over the topic "Russian is manipulating our elections and pushing for Trump" that even McFaul has become indignant:

[Jul 26, 2016] 'Is this journalism' CBS News just fell into its own puddle of drool for Michelle Obama

twitchy.com

twitchy.com

Sara Miller @Millerita

Good lord, CBS. At least try to hide that erection. :-)

[Jul 25, 2016] The prayer of Hillarybot

Tony Page , 2016-07-25 14:09:51
There is no Debbie Wasserman. There has never been any Debbie Wasserman. The Party is unified. The Party has always been unified. The Great Leader, Hillary...

[Jul 18, 2016] Meet Melania Trump, a new model for first lady

Slick Willie even in his age can do a lot of damage to female White House staffers in White House bedroom, given enough spare time ;-)
The Washington Post

James Cageby, 10/3/2015 7:31 PM EDT

The prospect of Melania as FLOTUS sure beats the prospect of Willie Clinton as FLOTUS

[Jul 09, 2016] "It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!" - Emperor Clinton

[Jul 07, 2016] Let's talk about families

What an inversion – this must be the first time it was good for Hillary that her husband had a scandalous private meeting with a younger woman.

[Jun 26, 2016] http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/a-visit-from-tech-support-for-hillary-clinton

TECH SUPPORT: Hi, Secretary Clinton? I'm Liz, from tech support. Your assistant said that you needed help getting Outlook on your phone?

SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: Oh, hi. Great. Come on in.

TECH: This shouldn't take too long. Are you working on a Blackberry or an iPhone?

CLINTON: God, who knows. I have so many devices these days.

TECH: Really? How many?

CLINTON: Two.

TECH: That shouldn't be a problem. So let's get Outlook fired up here. O.K. Hmm. It looks like you haven't set up an account yet?

CLINTON: I've been using my hdr22@clintonemail.com address.

TECH: Most State Department employees prefer to use a state.gov address.

CLINTON: I don't know that I would describe my role here as "employee."

TECH: Right. Well, it's sort of a best-practice thing. We can make sure that all your correspondence is secure this way, and it'll make it easier to comply with FOIA requests.

CLINTON: Why would there be a FOIA request?

TECH: You're right. There won't be. But I like to say you can never be too careful.

CLINTON: I guess. Liz, between you and me, I'm not really a big e-mailer. I pretty much only use it for stuff like planning Chelsea's wedding and chatting with my yoga instructor about whether we should impose sanctions on Iran.

TECH: It's still good to get this set up. Go ahead and connect your device to the computer.

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: You can use that U.S.B. portal.

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: Here, it's just this cord. O.K., I'm noticing that you have a lot of documents just saved to your desktop. It's really safer to save them directly on the State Department server.

CLINTON: I'll be sure to do that.

TECH: That way they're password-protected. And again, FOIA.

CLINTON: I'm less worried about that than you are.

TECH: You're the boss! O.K., next go to "Settings."

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: It looks like a little gear symbol.

CLINTON: Oh! There it is.

TECH: Then to go to "General."

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: . . .

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: It's down next to-

CLINTON: I got it, all right? Jesus.

TECH: Follow the prompt for e-mail.

CLINTON: I'm not seeing it.

TECH: It's right there next-

CLINTON: Please don't point. I'll never learn that way.

TECH: O.K., sorry. Keep scrolling.

CLINTON: Is it under Bluetooth? What is Bluetooth?

TECH: No, it's-

CLINTON: Do I need to be in Dropbox?

TECH: What? No. Just click e-mail.

CLINTON: Got it!

TECH: Great. Let's get you rolling with a username and a password. Feel free to really be creative here. Some people use their pets' names, or the name of their high school.

CLINTON: How about just "password"?

TECH: That's sort of not ideal.

CLINTON: O.K., how about "Benghazi"?

TECH: Perfect. It's hard to spell and it doesn't have any special significance.

CLINTON: So I'm done?

TECH: Not quite, but we're close. Now input your username and password.

CLINTON: I am. It's not accepting "Benghazi."

TECH: Hmm. That's O.K. This is a known issue. Let's try "retrieve password."

CLINTON: I'm hitting it but nothing's happening.

TECH: Do you mind if I take over?

CLINTON: Fine. But I won't learn.

TECH: Here's the problem. It needs a number. Can we do a different password? Maybe "MrsPrez16"? That's good, right?

CLINTON: That's terrible, but I don't care.

TECH: Hey, Madam Secretary, I get that this is frustrating. Believe me. Just remember that we're on the same team here.

CLINTON: Sorry. UGH. I put in "MrsPrez16" and it's rejecting that too!

TECH: You know, it's probably because you're not using a trusted wifi network. O.K., go back to Settings.

CLINTON: You know what, I'm just going to stick with my personal account. No one is going to care.

TECH: You're probably right. Honestly, this system is so clunky; I've been forwarding stuff to my Gmail since 2006.

CLINTON: Can you get me set up with a Gmail?

TECH: I'm really not supposed to.

CLINTON: Fine. But while you're here, could you help me change my Facebook picture? I want to use this one.

TECH: Oh, nice! You look so badass texting while wearing sunglasses.

CLINTON: I know.

TECH: Meme alert!

CLINTON: Right.

TECH: Girl, I'll probably make that my profile picture, too. Or at least my Twitter avatar.

CLINTON: Please don't call me "girl."

TECH: It just makes you look like such a tech-savvy, feminist icon.

CLINTON: I am that.

TECH: Totally. O.K., here you go. It's all set. And don't worry about the e-mail thing.

[Jun 25, 2016] hillary-clintons-personal-e-mails-to-me

newyorker.com

Hi Bess,

Just reaching out again. Did you get my last few e-mails? Since you haven't replied, I worry that they might have ended up in your spam folder. Do you know how to check that? I can have my campaign's digital director send you instructions. Anyway, I would love to say hi, or grab coffee, or whatever, if you have time. I'm around. Just let me know when/where works for you! Have jet; will travel! LOL.

XO

H.R.C.

... ... ...

Bess,

What is going on?

I'm going fucking crazy over here. I think we both know that I've gone above and beyond to reach out to you and be your friend and invite you to cool shit and just be there for you, but I feel like you're taking our relationship totally for granted. I saw you donated fifty dollars after my last e-mail, but, honestly, that just made me feel used. I wish you'd never entered your e-mail address into my campaign Listserv.

So I'm writing one last time to say Go to Hell, Bess. And please don't forget to text HRC to 33422016 to get real-time updates from the trail!

Sincerely,

Hillary Clinton

[Jun 25, 2016] Jeb! - the man who single-handedly made the exclamation mark signify dreary disappointment.

DomesticExtremist

7 8
Jeb! - the man who single-handedly made the exclamation mark signify dreary disappointment.

He will be missed like a hole in the head.

CriticAtLarge -> DomesticExtremist, 20 Feb 2016 21:19

The exclamation mark should sue him.

[Dec 10, 2015] NEED HELP? CALL JESUS

merchantsofmenace, December 10, 2015

As I was just driving home and worrying about all the stuff going on in my life, my family's lives, my friends' lives, and what's happening in Washington, Moscow, Ukraine, the Middle East, Hillary Clinton's scandals, Jeb, Trump, Fox News, the downgrading of our military, the terrorists infiltrating our border, the illegals, the refugees, and how our country is rapidly losing its sanity and its Christianity, I saw a yard sign that said:
NEED HELP?
CALL JESUS
1-800-555-3787
Out of curiosity and desperation, I called the number.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

[Mar 20, 2016] Republican plan to stop Donald Trump election

www.theguardian.com

Over the last six months, GOP leaders have watched helpless as the Republican presidential race has transformed from the usual loveable farce into a terrifying prequel to Mad Max: Fury Road as tangerine reality show host Donald Trump gained, attained and retained frontrunner status. With only a few months left before the Republican National Convention, party luminaries, bigwigs and eminences grises have come up with a secret blueprint for how to stop the New York business mogul from becoming their candidate. Exclusive to the Guardian, here is their 10-point plan:

  1. Change the Republican party rules so that all presidential candidates must disclose the length of their fingers prior to receiving the nomination. Trump will drop out of the race by the end of the day.
  2. Leave a trail of spray tan canisters and ground beef leading from the door of his penthouse to a barge about to set off for the Far East.
  3. Lure him into a space shuttle by telling him there's a photograph of his daughter Ivanka in a bikini onboard and then blast him into orbit.
  4. Attach a $5 bill to a greased pig's back and set it loose backstage before his next campaign stop. He'll chase that thing until he's out of breath, and miss the speech, which, due to his inhumanly hectic campaign schedule will have the cumulative knock-on effect of making him miss the next day's speech, then the next morning's chummy appearance by telephone with his pals on Morning Joe, then the next four primaries, and before you know it he's missed the convention and is safely back to being an appalling but harmless reality TV star.
  5. Force Trump to spend as much as five minutes with one of his own supporters.
  6. Remind him that the White House executive residence is a paltry 55,000 square feet and that presidents are constitutionally prohibited from painting it gold.
  7. Invite Trump to a pool party and before he arrives glue a bunch of nickels to the bottom of the deep end.
  8. Invent time travel, go back to 2008, and stop ourselves from attacking the Obama administration with the exact same vitriolic, divisive rhetoric that Trump picked up on and has now ridden to his present position.
  9. Stop sheepishly acquiescing to Trump's bluster and acting like he isn't a despicable racist monster in hopes that it's not too late to prevent the complete collapse of society.
  10. Change election procedure so that the remaining delegates must pledge their support to whichever nominee scores highest on a seventh grade vocabulary test. Unfortunately this will probably give the edge to college debate champ Ted Cruz, an opportunistic, bigoted liar whose vision for America is a theocracy engaged in an apocalyptic war against Islam run by a man who looks like Dracula's fat cousin smugly eating a sour candy he received as a prize for tattling. But you can't have everything.

[Mar 10, 2016] Trump on how much will be two plus two

discussion.theguardian.com

Sean Anthony Dylan

3h ago 0 1 From Twitter, but so true:

Donald Trump answers the question 'what is 2+2?': "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2'? And I tell them, look, we know what 2+2 is.

We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh, my God, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It's terrible. It's just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way, I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros.

Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy, but he's like, '10101000101,' on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers, and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that?

We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me." Reply Report BG Davis Sean Anthony Dylan , 2016-03-08 17:42:31

Priceless! Next stop, Saturday Night Live or similar.

[Feb 21, 2016] An historic breakthrough for robot rights.

Dmanny , 2016-02-21 02:28:50

Marco Rubio will be the next president of the United States.
Philip J Sparrow Dmanny , 2016-02-21 02:31:38
An historic breakthrough for robot rights.

[Feb 20, 2016] Vote Goldman! Vote Hillary!

Whatsup12

Vote Goldman! Vote Hillary!

[Feb 20, 2016] A real dark night of the soul tonight for Jeb!

Todd Newman

A real dark night of the soul tonight for Jeb!.He sits on the couch in his hotel room, drinking straight out of a bottle of Glenfiddich, after crawling around on his hands and knees for an hour in a fruitless search for one of his brand new contact lenses. He finally gives up on that and sits, with vision in only one eye, with the lights turned down low and the television with a smashed screen. He stares at the copy of "The Art of the Deal" on the coffee table, the book a gag gift from W. The phone rings. "Yeah, mom, I know. It doesn't look good. What am I going to tell the money people? You know, the thing that really gets to me is that I was the only one to stand up to Trump, the only one with the balls to go after that son of a bitch. Marco? That slime ball really did a number on me. I'm going to call him up right now and tell him to bring that sword I gave him over here and just stab me in the back. I got that Terri Schiavo law passed to save her life. I wish somebody would pass a law to keep my candidacy on life support. Do you think if Chris Christie got back in the race he'd be willing to take on Trump at the next debate? Yeah…probably not." He takes a long pull from the bottle. "Yeah, mom, I know W did all he could. But it wasn't enough. The shock and awe didn't happen for me tonight. There was no freakin' mission accomplished, except I look like a loser. Maybe Trump was right.The kids and their mom aren't here, I can't put them on the phone. Their mom didn't want the kids to see me like this so they got a different room. What am I going to do? Well, first I'm gonna take me another little bitty drinkee-poo from this here bottle."

[Sep 26, 2015] Wild card Trevor Noah ready to revamp the Daily Show with an outsider twist

Sep 26, 2015 | www.theguardian.com

Speaking at a press breakfast to launch the new Daily Show, which starts on Monday 28 September, the South African comedian said he would use his position as an outsider in the US to look at some of the more bizarre elements of the country's political system without preconceptions.

... ... ...

Jon Stewart's final year in charge at the Daily Show saw the programme win three Emmys for outstanding variety talk series, outstanding writing for a variety series and outstanding directing for a variety series.

[Sep 04, 2015] Clinton is transparently Fake.... Looks like Josh is a Extramarital Art Expert.... Anyone know if he has the Black Condom yet? Yoringe Fri, 9/4/2015 - 9:34 am

[Jul 12, 2015] Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed

March 29, 2010 |The Onion - America's Finest News Source
WASHINGTON-According to a report released Monday by the U.S. Department of Education, an increasing number of American parents are choosing to have their children raised at school rather than at home.

Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller said that many parents who school-home find U.S. households to be frightening, overwhelming environments for their children, and feel that they are just not conducive to producing well-rounded members of society.

Thousands of mothers and fathers polled in the study also believe that those running American homes cannot be trusted to keep their kids safe.

"Every year more parents are finding that their homes are not equipped to instill the right values in their children," Miller said. "When it comes to important life skills such as proper nutrition, safe sex, and even basic socialization, a growing number of mothers and fathers think it's better to rely on educators to guide and nurture their kids."

"And really, who can blame them?" Miller continued. "American homes have let down our nation's youth time and again in almost every imaginable respect."

According to the report, children raised at home were less likely to receive individual adult attention, and were often subjected to ineffective and wildly inconsistent disciplinary measures. The study also found that many parents expressed concerns that, when at home, their children were being teased and bullied by those older than themselves.

In addition to providing better supervision and overall direction, school-homing has become popular among mothers and fathers who just want to be less involved in the day-to-day lives of their children.

"Parents are finding creative ways to make this increasingly common child-rearing track work," Miller said. "Whether it's over-relying on after-school programs and extracurricular activities, or simply gross neglect,† school-homing is becoming a widely accepted method of bringing children up."

Despite the trend's growing popularity, Miller said that school programs are often jeopardized or terminated because shortsighted individuals vote against tax increases intended to boost educational spending.

"The terrifying reality we're facing is that the worst-equipped people you could possibly imagine may actually be forced to take care of their children," Miller said.

Parents who have decided to school-home their children have echoed many of Miller's concerns. Most said that an alarming number of legal guardians such as themselves lack the most basic common sense required to give children the type of instruction they need during crucial developmental years.

"It's really a matter of who has more experience in dealing with my child," Cincinnati- resident Kevin Dufrense said of his decision to have his 10-year-old son Jake, who suffers from ADHD and dyslexia, school-homed. "These teachers are dealing with upwards of 40 students in their classrooms at a time, so obviously they know a lot more about children than someone like me, who only has one son and doesn't know where he is half the time anyway."

"Simply put, it's not the job of parents to raise these kids," Dufrense added.

Though school-homing has proven to be an ideal solution for millions of uninvolved parents, increasingly overburdened public schools have recently led to a steady upswing in the number of students being prison-homed.

[Jul 12, 2015] "An aggressor is anyone who attacks a country before the US does."–Czech President Milos Zeman

Patient Observer, July 12, 2015 at 9:35 am
Had to share – almost lost my bowl of oatmeal on this:
"An aggressor is anyone who attacks a country before the US does."–Czech President Milos Zeman
http://fortruss.blogspot.com/2015/07/russias-week-in-humor-for-july-10-2015.html

[Jul 10, 2015] Trump'd

"...This is bordering on hero worship with this guy and, frankly, I think that's dangerous. That's exactly how the Ds ended up shoving Obama down everyone's throat and look how lousy that turned out."
Jul 9, 2015 | Zero Hedge

Republican preferences of Presidential candidates ;-)

1st choice 2nd choice
Donald Trump

15%

12%

Jeb Bush 11% 7%
Rand Paul 11% 7%

nmewn

Trump filed for bankruptcy protection in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009. I have zero interest in putting him in charge of anything remotely connected to my prosperity or posterity.

But I will say this, with Hillary! the current frontrunner, fully 98% of democrats are insane ;-)

Paveway IV

Witht that kind of experience, we should make him president of Puerto Rico.

Not My Real Name

Trump is too much of an ego maniac to have that kind of power.

You mean like Obama?

Gold...Bitches

Wrong. The popularity of Trump and Sanders is they are actually talking reality versus the papsmear crapola that comes out of the mouths of the corporate polititcians from both sides. They also actually have policies that appeal to the majority of the people in their respective parties. Most people oppose the crony trade deals that get signed that do nothing for the people yet enrich the CEO and the politician that passes the bill after they are out and get massive "speaking" fees. Not the corporatists such as Bush and Hillary - never met a trade deal favorable to corporations they didnt like. Quid, meet Pro and Quo.

Southpark said it best regarding voting and elections: But Stan, don't you know, it's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd. They're the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics."

chosen

Thanks for the heads up. Is there any candidate that is not in AIPAC's pocket?

[Jul 10, 2015] You mean George Bush sends our soldiers into combat, they are severely wounded, and then he wants $120,000 to make a boring speech to them?

Warren, July 9, 2015 at 4:47 pm

You mean George Bush sends our soldiers into combat, they are severely wounded, and then he wants $120,000 to make a boring speech to them?

- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 9, 2015

[May 31, 2015] You better be nice to America

[May 30, 2015] Creator Of Infamous Hope Poster Lashes Out At Obama, Calls Americans Ignorant And Lazy

May 30, 2015 | Zero Hedge

Creator Of Infamous Hope Poster Lashes Out At Obama, Calls Americans Ignorant And Lazy Zero Hedge

Before the people realized that behind the "most transparent administration ever" there was nothing but double seasonal adjustments, drones and an impenetrable layer of propaganda and lies, there was...

And change, of course.

Sadly, at some point over the past six years the hope died, first for the people (if not the bankers), and then for the creator of the infamous "Hope" poster himself, Shepard Fairey who told Esquire magazine in an interview that Obama has not come even close to embodying the break with the past administration that Fairey and so many voters hoped he would.

"I mean, drones and domestic spying are the last things I would have thought [he'd support]."

But support them he did while crushing the much promised transparency and freedom for the masses, for one simple reason: money, the same reason why Fairey is almost willing to give Obama a pass, again. Money, and of course, power and control of the masses by the select few.

Still, the confused artist still isn't fully ready to throw away all his idealism just yet:

I've met Obama a few times, and I think Obama's a quality human being, but I think that he finds himself in a position where your actions are largely dictated by things out of your control.

A "quality human being" he may be, but when it comes to personal motives, money always wins. Just ask the Clinton Foundation. Even Fairey, who says he "agrees with Hilary on most issues" finally grasps that now:

... campaign finance structure makes me very angry, because it means that politicians are going to have to raise a huge amount of money, which narrows the field dramatically. There are only certain kinds of people that either have the preexisting resources or the willingness to work in way that will get them a lot of money from donors. That narrows the field right there. Then there's the idea that the people who you are going to have to listen to are the people that are going to give you the biggest donation. That means lobbyists, special interest groups, and corporations are going to have politicians eager, disproportionally.

He adds: "I'm not giving him a pass for not being more courageous, but I do think the entire system needs an overhaul and taking money out of politics would be a really good first step."

A systemic overhaul by whom? The same politicians who are nothing but "whores" to corporate lobby interests?

Or maybe the infamous artist should just blame the American public for agreeing to be swindled and manipulated by one liar after another, all of whom promise change yet end up merely perpetuating the broken, corrupt system they inherit from their predecessor and make it even worse.

Actually, that's precisely what Fairey did. This is what he told Esquire:

We also need a public that isn't so uneducated and complacent. I hate to say Americans are ignorant and lazy, but a lot of them are ignorant and lazy.... When you live in a place that has a lot of good things that make life easier, it's easier to take them for granted. But what frustrates me to no end are people who want to blame Obama or blame anything that is something that if they were actually doing anything as simple as voting, it might not be as bad as it is. There's a lot of finger pointing and very little action and very little research into the dynamics that created the situation that they're unhappy about.

Actually, about that he's quite accurate

However his message will be diluted and ignored, and the media will do is what it always does when facing a threat to the status quo: crush the messenger.

And conveniently, Fairey made it very easy for them: after all, and quite amusingly, his Hope poster itself was a fraud.

The artist was recently sentenced to two years of probation and fined $250,000 in 2012 for destroying documents and concealing others in an attempt to hide that he had used an Associated Press photograph as the basis for his "Hope" poster. And even more ironic, as Gawker wrote in 2009, Fairey himself was "lawsuit happy to artists who ape or parody his stuff."

Unfortunately, in retrospect Fairey's story is one of "tidiest little package" summaries of the banana republic status the US, and its leadership, has devolved to.

[May 30, 2015] More than 10,000 websites 'blackout' Congress in protest of NSA surveillance laws

EdChamp -> elaine layabout 29 May 2015 17:22

Please, tell me that porn sites are involved in this. Cut off Congress's porn access and they will be putty in our hands.

Congratulations! You win the award of the day for that one gleaming guardian comment that truly made me smile.

[May 29, 2015] cCain urges military strikes against FIFA

dh | May 29, 2015 8:52:46 AM | 6

McCain is on the case...

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mccain-urges-military-strikes-against-fifa?mbid=social_facebook

[May 28, 2015] Neocons The Men of Dementia By William R. Polk

May 27, 2015 | Consortiumnews
In the classic novel Don Quixote de la Mancha, the great Spanish writer Cervantes explored the danger of mixing delusions of grandeur with adventurous combat. Yet, today instead of the man of la Mancha, we have the neocons playing the men (and some women) of dementia, as ex-diplomat William R. Polk describes.

It was over half a century ago that I first read Cervantes' marvelous novel, Don Quixote de la Mancha. I was then studying at the University of Chile, trying to learn Spanish, and Don Quixote was the first novel I remember reading. Or, to be honest, "reading at" because my Spanish was still weak and the text is full of unfamiliar expressions. Also, I was very young and did not know enough about the world to understand fully what Cervantes was saying.

But he had a remarkable gift of writing on different levels. His tale could be enjoyed as just a good story or more profoundly. So, despite my shortcomings, he caught me in his magical web. A few years later, somewhat better equipped, I dipped into Don Quixote again in a delightful course on satire I was taking as an undergraduate at Harvard.

So now I have gone back. Or not quite back. Not quite, because I now can put both of those early ventures into a new perspective from experiences I have had and observations I have made over the last half century. I now realize that what Cervantes wrote about his own times could be applied to ours.

Cervantes was writing about themes that recur often and are particularly apposite today. Indeed, the auguries suggest that they may be virtually a prediction. His "Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote" can be read as an amalgam of several of our own "knights errant," and his accounts of his hidalgo's adventures foreshadowed some of the wilder forays into combat of our own warriors.

A terrifying thought at least to me is that the hints and themes we can read into his story may be played out in the aftermath of the next election. So, laugh with Cervantes - or shudder with me - over a few pages of his fable.

He begins by anchoring us in place, En un lugar de la Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme ("in a place on the Plain whose name I don't wish to remember"). As I now transpose it to Washington D.C., he might have written, "at little town in Foggy Bottom whose name I don't wish to remember."

Then he introduces the target of his satire, Don Quixote: no ha much tiempo que vivía un hidalgo de los de lanza en astillero, adarga antigua, rocín flaco y galgo corredor ("not much time has passed since there lived one of those gentlemen of the sort who keeps a lance hanging on the wall, an ancient shield, a bony mare and a greyhound"),

At this point, one stops. Who in our times might fit such a description? Are there such eccentric would-be warriors holed up in government offices, think tanks or war colleges with the symbols of warfare and the hunt flaunted above their desks?

A memory pops into my mind: yes, I remember when it was quite fashionable to festoon the walls of offices in the Executive Office Building, the old State and War Departments, of the White House, with the modern equivalents of Quixote's lance. Battle-scarred weapons fashioned by the Vietcong were particularly favored. Some of us even brought our hounds (but not our nags) into our offices.

But in those far-off days, knights errant were few even in Foggy Bottom. Now, they seem to have multiplied beyond counting. So, could we single out anyone as our Don Quixote? Names of candidates flow past my inner eye. Indeed, even Cervantes puzzled over the name of his hero. He offers several alternatives.

We might do the same. The character we need to fit his story is an arm-chair warrior who is carried away by his occult reading to the point that he is prepared to embark (or at least to send others to embark) on great (and disastrous) adventures in faraway lands, and whose grip on reality is, like Don Quixote's, to say the least, faulty.

We have a legion of candidates who fit that bill. So it is hard to pick a single name. Never mind. As Cervantes wrote, the name "matters little for our account; it is enough that the narrative does not depart a single point from the truth." (esto importa poco a nuestro cuento; basta que en la narracíon dél no se salga un punto de la verdad.)

Being accurate or at least suggestive within reasonable bounds was very important for Cervantes and is also important for us because the tale we - the combination of Cervantes classically and I in modern terms - relate is hard to believe.

The Land of Neocons

As I say, many of our great statesmen come to mind, but the richest lode is to be found in the neoconservative movement. Whoa! I pull on the reins of my imagination. Could Cervantes have imagined a Dick Cheney? A Paul Wolfowitz? One of the Kristols? Surely such figures are to be seen only in our times?

Well, no. Not at all. History provides quite a few ancestors for them. However, as the text of the book makes clear, Cervantes' hidalgo was a complex character who not only read and fantasized but actually himself also went out and fought. Doing both narrows the field rather drastically.

It is hard to find one of the great statesmen we read about, much less those we know in our times, who both proclaimed policy and themselves went into harm's way. In the "leisure of the theory class," as Veblen has been amended for our times, the armchair was found to be much more comfortable than the helicopter bucket seat. So, Cervantes would have had to invent a combination of something like Paul Wolfowitz and David Petraeus.

And, of course, he would have transposed Don Quixote's lance, shield, bony mare and greyhound. They don't quite do in our day. So consider our modern Don Quixote trading them in for a fighter-bomber, a Patriot missile system, an aircraft carrier and, although this may be stretching it even for Cervantes, a drone in place of the greyhound.

Never mind. Don't quibble about the tools of the trade. Cervantes, himself, was less concerned with the artifacts than with the mind of his hero. As he tells us, Don Quixote had read so many romantic tales about the glorious adventures of knights errant that "the poor fellow lost his reason to such an extent that not even Aristotle could have untangled the wild imaginations that he believed, were he to be brought back to life just to do that job." (Con estes razones perdía el pobre caballero el juicio y desvelábase por entendarlas y desestrañarles el sentido que no se sacara ni las entendiera el mesmo Aristóteles, si resucitara para solo ella.)

To try to understand what all the writings were about and what they told him to do, Don Quixote talked with the learned priest of his village. Just so, our modern Don Quixote, having imbibed and partly understood the neoconservative bizarre view of human affairs, consulted with the High Priest of neoconservatism, Leo Strauss, who held forth in his "village" as the President of the University of Chicago once referred to its department of political science. But, as we shall see, Don Quixote chose a rather better guide than did our policy makers.

Cervantes was not kind about the writings of such philosophers. He shows his poor hero dazzled by the intricacies and blind alleys of the outpouring of his version of the great myth peddler. Cervantes has his spinner of tales, a man known as Feliciano de Silva, leading his avid but disoriented devoté into a maze with "clarity of the prose and intricacy of reasoning" exemplified by such marvels as "the reason of unreason affects my reason to such a degree that my reason withers away…" (La razón de la sinrazón que a mi rasón se hace, de tal maner, mi razón enflaquence…)

That is, put rather more prosaically, logic and facts cease to matter. It is the vision of romantic action against demonic forces that give the necessary energy for wild endeavors. Thought becomes a banner to signal the grand campaign. And, as Cervantes said, razón enflaquence…reason withers away.

Finally, as Cervantes tells us, his Don Quixote became so immersed in such readings that he passed the nights from dusk to dawn and the days from dawn to dusk "until finally the brain dried up and he came to lose his mind. Having filled himself with the fantasies he had read in de Silva's writings, imaginary happenings became actual for him [and] no other interpretation of the world was more real."

"As a result, having lost his mind, he hit on the strangest plan that had ever occurred to a crazy person anywhere: it came to seem to him appropriate and necessary both to augment his own honor and to serve his republic to make himself a knight errant and take himself around the world with his weapons and on his mount to seek adventures and to put into practice all he had read… becoming a knight errant, going about the world with his arms and mount, seeking adventures, righting every manner of wrong and by putting himself in situations of great peril to make famous his name. The poor fellow imagined himself crowned for his valor, at the very least, with the empire of Trebizond; so with these agreeable thoughts in mind, he immediately set out to put into effect his plan."

But he faced an immediate obstacle: having decided to venture into the dangerous world, Don Quixote realizes that he must be properly "entitled" - that is, he could not afford to be seen as an outlaw or a war criminal but must be recognized as a person legally or at least officially entitled to engage in combat to overthrow and to kill the wicked.

So he seeks someone to dub him a knight, which in contemporary terms would give him legitimacy. Just so, the neoconservatives realized that it was not enough simply to proclaim their doctrine in their journals even if that attracted to their cause real warriors who could put it into effect. Rather they must be vested with authority. Even intellectuals, after all, need to be "knighted" if they are to perform acts that when done unofficially or by ordinary citizens are crimes.

Seeking Authority

So, after an agonized delay in which he found no proper authority to knight him, Don Quixote comes upon an inn whose keeper emerges to welcome him. To our would-be knight errant the inn is a castle and the keeper is its lord just as our Don Quixote found his authority to be the lord of the White House. Cervantes has his Don Quixote say – and we can be sure that our Wolfowitz-Petraeus spoke similarly - these magic words,

"My adornments are my arms,

My leisure is to fight."

Then, before the proprietor of the house, Don Quixote falls on his knees, saying "I will never raise myself from where I am, Illustrious Lord, until you have given me what I seek, that which will spread your fame and do good to all humanity …. that I may go forth equipped with the necessary credentials as an armed knight such as never before was to be found in the world."

One can only imagine how the modern bond was forged. However it was done, we know that our modern hero-to-be was welcomed into the "House" by its Great Lord who proceeded to anoint him with the signs of high office. Neither would have been put off by the earlier hero's expectations:

"Who could doubt that in the coming times, when my glorious deeds emerge in the light of true history … my brave deeds will deserve to be cast in bronze, carved in marble and painted on canvasses to be seen for all time. Ah you! Wise enchanter of the future! Whoever you may be. To you will fall the honor of chronicling my great crusade!"

He also admonished the future historian not to forget his warhorse.

And so, in our marvelous age of instant history, it happened as predicted - or requested. It was not long before that very chronicle appeared. Written not about Don Quixote, of course, but about his modern and only partial successor, Paul Wolfowitz, under the title Visionary Intellectual, Policymaker and Strategist. The author was so fulsome that he certainly did not forget the "warhorse," the great weapons of war.

Back to the Inn/Castle/White House, the keeper/lord/president mentions that although he had not read - he was not noted for his reading– the marvelous accounts that had so affected both the old and the new Don Quixotes, while still a young man he too had wandered the world, seeking adventures.

In place of Seville, Malaga, Cordoba and Toledo, in the earlier account, read New Haven, Cambridge, Austin and Dallas - and, after a number of shady enterprises, as we are told by Cervantes earlier and by the media in our times, they both had entered their "houses."Castle lords or not, they both were empowered to dub anyone a knight "or at least as much a knight as anyone in the world was." (y tan caballero, que no pudeiese más en el mundo.)

So empowered, Don Quixote sets out on his first venture, rushing to "regime change" a tyranny. It happened like this:

As Don Quixote was riding along, he heard moans coming from a forest he was passing. Looking for a cause for which to fight, he exclaimed "I give thanks to Heaven for giving me so soon a means to carry out my calling." With that, he rode into the forest where he saw a "stout rustic" lashing a poor boy. Don Quixote exploded in anger and, thinking that the rustic was a knight, challenged him to a fight. The peasant tried to excuse himself by saying that the boy had been stealing from him and was not protecting his sheep. And "he says I am a miser who does not want to pay him what I owe him."

Furious, our hero threatens the tyrant with his lance and orders him to pay the boy at once or "if not, by The God, I will make an end to you." (Pagadle luego sín más réplica; si no, por el Dios que nos rige que os concluya y aniquile en este punto. Desatadlo luego.)

So it happened also that when our modern heroes rode through the deserts of the Middle East, they saw a robust fellow (Iraq) mistreating a little fellow (Kuwait). When our heroes accosted him, the big fellow said that the little fellow was stealing his oil and not helping him protect his flock (the Arab nations) from the advancing Iranians. So Iraq, who had no money "with him" as Cervantes says of the lout Don Quixote encountered, said he could not pay Kuwait what it owed it.

In Cervantes' tale: the bully said he would take the little boy under his control and promised eventually to pay him the money. The boy was terrified and said that he would never trust the bully. But Don Quixote brushed his worries aside and said that he had given orders, which the peasant would obey. The boy need not worry; all would be well. And, if the peasant did not pay, he, Don Quixote would return and punish him.

Waiting until the valiant knight was out of sight, the peasant then tied the boy again to the tree and lashed him nearly to death.

So what happened in the story as it unfolded in our times? Our replacement of the peasant, the dictator of Iraq, consulted with the American ambassador who told him that we really took no position on what happened to the boy, Kuwait. The Americans apparently meant that the Saddam Hussein should be allowed a little "beating" of Kuwait, but not too much.

Saddam took that to give him permission, a "green light," as America had flashed to another dictator in far-off Indonesia. So he grabbed Kuwait. The Americans were surprised by the ferocity of the attack because they thought he would not take all of the country. That is, not beat the "boy" nearly to death, as Cervantes's rustic set about doing.

"And in this manner," wrote Cervantes, "the valorous Don Quixote righted the wrong, being very happy that everything turned out so well according to the high ideals of knighthood."

Wisely, Cervantes had his hero ride happily away. It was not so, as we know, in the modern version. Infuriated that Saddam went too far, the Americans returned to punish him. Then, having announced that they had imposed the high ideals of democracy, literally at the point of the lance, our modern heroes stayed on at the house of the cruel peasant, tore it apart and killed many of his family – and are still there.

As Cervantes makes clear and as we know from experience not only in Iraq but in a string of other countries, the intervention of the great warrior resulted in the total breakdown of social institutions, security, justice and protection of the weak.

Cervantes could not have imagined how many times and in how many places his parable would be reenacted! But already, he realized that "regime change" gives birth to chaos and misery.

When Don Quixote finally got back to his own house, having been severely beaten in another encounter on the way, his friends decided that it would be an act of mercy to demolish the fantasies that had driven him mad and had nearly gotten him killed.

The great man's housekeeper thought that all that was necessary was to sprinkle Holy Water on the books in his library, but his friends thought that the ridiculous doctrine could be erased only by sterner action. They were too late. He was already infected by the ideas he had imbibed.

I leave it to the reader to draw the modern parallel. Is it too late for us and our valiant leaders to realize how pernicious are the delusions they have imbed, how many lives they have cost, how much treasure they have wasted? We cannot be sure, but the trends are against us.

Suffice it to say that the neoconservatives are again plugging their dangerous policies and myopic views of cultures and societies and urging more mummery despite the record of their past malpractice. Behind the buzzwords of counterinsurgency and "nation building," they caused and then justified not only the great harm done to those who stood in their way but also violations of those principles that have guided our democracy.

Cervantes catches this violation neatly. Since one of the books Don Quixote had been reading was called The Knight of the Cross, Cervantes has the village priest remark that "behind the cross stands the devil." (mas también se suele decir, "tras la cruz está el diablo.) Or, as we might transpose it to modern terms, behind the philosophical musings of Leo Strauss lurk the violent warmongering of the neoconservatives and the justifications for the rise of the "security state."

These collections were both pernicious, but undoubtedly the results of the impact of Strauss were far worse. They were directly harmful to our liberty and well-being.

Sancho Panza

It is here where Cervantes introduces Sancho Panza whom some readers find to be an even more complex character than the great knight himself. Often a man of good sense, sometimes even noble and generous, he was also greedy and inconsistent. He was fair game for Don Quixote, and our wild warrior quickly brought Sancho into his court. Who was he?

As Cervantes describes him, he was "a working man, living nearby, a good man (if such a title could be given to a poor man) but not very bright; so after inveigling him with (soothing) words and (lavish) promises, he got the poor hick to agree to go with him and serve him as his squire.

Among other things Don Quixote argued was that he ought to be willing to go along because, if their venture succeeded, they would win some island of which he would become governor. With these promises and others, Sancho Panza, although himself a simple working man, gave up his fields, left his wife and children and signed on as squire."

It is hard to avoid reading Barack Obama into the character of Sancho. Having listened to the brave words of the neoconservatives, Obama and many members of Jefferson's, Jackson's and Roosevelt's Party of "the common man," the Democrats, readily gave up their customary fields of concern, the well-being of their families and fellow citizens, said goodbye to their long-time partners and rushed off as followers of the new doctrine in pursuit some distant "island" where they could win both laurels and emoluments.

As they rode along together, Sancho (here the opportunistic Democrat) assured Don Quixote (here the Obama convert to Bush's policies) that "if you give me that island you promised, I will rule it, no matter how big it is."

But, as I have said, Sancho was a complex figure and another part of his personality – his innate common sense – comes out in the most famous of the great knight's misadventures, the attack on the windmills.

As Cervantes tells the story, the great knight suddenly sighted some windmills and turning to his newly commissioned acolyte said, "luck has brought us even more than we could have desired; for there you see, Friend Sancho Panza, revealed before you 30 or a few more vicious giants with whom I think to do battle, deprive them of their lives [and] with whose spoils we will begin to enrich ourselves for this is a just war and is a great service to God to drive such vile species from the Earth."

An astonished Sancho, blurted out, "What giants?"

"Those you see before you," replied Don Quixote. "those with the long arms…"

"Look, Your Excellency," Sancho replied, what you see there are not giants, only windmills and what seems to be long arms are just wings to catch the wind and make the millstone turn."

"It is clear," continued Don Quixote, that you do not understand such matters. Those are giants. And if you are fainthearted, stand aside and say your prayers while I engage them in fierce and unequal battle." With that the valiant knight spurred his horse into battle. [I have condensed the beginning section of Chapter 8.]

We all have heard the story of what happened next: the windmill's wings caught the knight's lance, pulled him and his horse into the air and smashed them onto the ground. And, as Cervantes tells us, he was particularly grieved over the breaking of his lance.

To convert Cervantes to our times, imagine, I ask you, that the windmill was the little perceived, simple and otherwise engaged country of Afghanistan. Without much thought of the danger or the cost and no perceived consideration of alternative actions, we charged in and like him were caught in the whirling melee of its fiercely independent people.

Don Quixote was, of course, mad, but his action was unprecedented; we, in contrast, whether mad or not, had ample warnings from the experiences of the British and the Russians. Both the British and the Russians had lost their armies and their "lances" jousting there. Our Don Quixote, now multiplied by tens of thousands, paid a heavy price both for knowing no history and for having believed the wild dogmas of the neoconservatives.

Could this painful venture - and all our other escapades in Vietnam, Somalia, Libya (and now perhaps Syria and even Ukraine) have been avoided? An attempt to answer that question takes us back to Sancho Panza. Sancho was a realist and tried to dissuade the knight errant from some of his dementia, but he - like modern Democrats - also sought to profit from the dementia. Recognizing Sancho's venality, Don Quixote promised him a kingdom if he obeyed.

In our times, the "kingdom" is not a faraway and imaginary island but victory at the polls, promotions and even the forges of "lances." These rewards come about more easily and quicker from sound and fury than from careful and constructive action.

Cervantes got it right. Don Quixote's flights of madness are addictive. Eventually, even Sancho was converted. And today, as we see almost daily the Obama administration has taken over the major aspects of the neoconservative creed. Looking to a future of the probable choice between a Hilary Clinton and a Jeb Bush, who will have the will to call a halt to madness?

Cervantes speaks to us all.

William R. Polk is a veteran foreign policy consultant, author and professor who taught Middle Eastern studies at Harvard. President John F. Kennedy appointed Polk to the State Department's Policy Planning Council where he served during the Cuban Missile Crisis. His books include: Violent Politics: Insurgency and Terrorism; Understanding Iraq; Understanding Iran; Personal History: Living in Interesting Times; Distant Thunder: Reflections on the Dangers of Our Times; and Humpty Dumpty: The Fate of Regime Change.

[May 15, 2015] JEB JR.

The Burning Platform

[May 15, 2015] JEB & JR.

The Burning Platform

[May 15, 2015] Fed-Up Employee Just About 14 Years Away From Walking Out Door

The Burning Platform

WALTHAM, MA-Frustrated with a growing list of unacceptable workplace indignities, fed-up Catamount Systems employee Marc Holden is just about 14 years away from walking out the front door of his office and never returning, sources confirmed Thursday. "I swear to God, if things don't improve around here real fast, I am out of here in 14 years or so-I am not bluffing," Holden said, noting that if he has to endure just a decade and a half more of company-wide incompetence and pointless micromanagement, he is gone for good. "Seriously, I don't think I can take any more than 3,000 more days of this before I snap. Mark my words, if 2029 rolls around and it's still the same old shit around here, I'm cleaning out my desk, getting on that elevator, and never coming back." Holden added that if his boss belittled him in front of the entire staff just 200 more times, he would storm right into his office and tell him exactly where he can stick it.

[May 9, 2015] Putin Celebrates 70th Anniversary Of Victory Over Hitler, Warns Of Dangers From Unipolar World

Zero Hedge

Arnold

I completely endorse Hillary for POTUS 2016.

are we there yet

I endorse hillary for a jail term.

[May 03, 2015] Jon Stewart: why I quit The Daily Show by Hadley Freeman

Apr 18, 2015 | The Guardian

.... he describes his decision to quit The Daily Show, the American satirical news programme he has hosted for 16 years, as something closer to the end of a long-term relationship.

... ... ...

At 52, Stewart has the bouncy energy of a man half his age and, unlike most in the public eye, has an aversion to compliments. If I tell him I liked something about the film, he will immediately deflect the compliment and insist it was all down to Bahari, or the film's star Gael García Bernal, or the crew. For all the claims of his detractors that Stewart is the epitome of East Coast elitism, there is more self-deprecating New Jersey grit here than arrogant Manhattan elan.

Much as he might wince to hear it, for the past 16 years Stewart has occupied a place in America's cultural and political life far greater than the small audience of his cable show would suggest. The Daily Show's simple format consists of a mix of reports from roving reporters (who have included Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert and John Oliver), monologues delivered by Stewart and an end-of-show interview. Over time, Stewart has evolved from a satirist to a broadcaster celebrated as the voice of US liberalism, the one who will give the definitive progressive take on a story.

His moving monologue after the Charlie Hebdo killings in January was widely shared; his frequent on-air support of Democrat senator Elizabeth Warren helped her evolve in the eyes of the public from Harvard professor to dream 2016 presidential candidate – particularly among those who find Hillary Clinton too centrist and hawkish. Stewart's energetic campaigning on behalf of the 9/11 first responders (the emergency services who were first on the scene, many of whom later suffered debilitating illnesses), prompted the New York Times to compare him to Walter Cronkite and Edward R Murrow, the most revered newscasters in American history. It is a delicious irony that in the world of American TV news, one populated by raging egotists and self-aggrandisers, the person who is generally cited as the most influential is Stewart – a man so disinterested in his own celebrity, he often didn't bother to collect his 18 Emmys, preferring to stay at home with his family.

When George Bush left office in 2008, some worried that Stewart would run out of material. This proved as shortsighted as the hope that Obama would be America's grand salvation. Stewart, who describes himself as "a leftist", has always hammered the Democrats with the vigour of a disappointed supporter, and subjected Obama to one of his most damaging interviews during his first term: the president admitted that his 2008 slogan probably should have been "Yes We Can, But..." At the time, Stewart laughed, but today he admits with a shrug, "It was heartbreaking. It's generally heartbreaking – that's what the gig is."

Jon Stewart gave Barack Obama one of his toughest interviews, suggesting his 2008 election slogan should have been 'Yes we can, but…'

His seemingly effortless interview with Tony Blair in 2008 cut through Blair's crusader mentality in a mere six minutes, as Stewart calmly rejected Blair's theory that any kind of military action can keep the west safe. As Blair stammered, huffed and shifted in his seat, Stewart concluded that: "19 people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough, to make the world safe enough, that 19 people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based." This was Stewart at his best; it's also fair to say that some of the interviews, generally those with actors and authors, seem like mere puffery, a point with which Stewart agrees (he embraces criticism as eagerly as he deflects compliments).

... ... ...

Stewart likes to credit "the team", but given that he has always been deeply involved in the script (unusually for a host), writing and rewriting drafts right up to the last minute, the show will be a pretty different beast without him. He has described his successor, the South African comedian Trevor Noah, as "incredibly thoughtful, considerate and funny", and defended him when it was discovered, to widespread fury, that Noah had in the past tweeted offensive jokes about Jews, overweight women and transgender people.

The furore over Noah's tweets reflects just how high Stewart has set the bar. There was such an outpouring of grief when he announced he was stepping down, that he mused on air the following day, "Did I die?" Even the normally dispassionate New Yorker magazine claimed, under the headline Jon Stewart, We Need You In 2016, "the last hope for bringing some rationality to the 2016 Presidential field died". Not since Oprah Winfrey announced her retirement from network television has a US TV host's departure received such international coverage, but Stewart bridles when I make the Winfrey comparison: "If Oprah can leave and the world still spins, I honestly think it will survive me."

And it should be noted that not everyone was distraught. Fox News, displaying its mastery of making colour-based accusations about the kettle from its pot-based position, reported that Stewart was "not a force for good" and that his sustained criticisms of the right "had no foothold in the facts". The Daily Show duly responded with a Vine of Fox News' best factual distortions.

... ... ...

In 2010, Stewart hosted a Rally To Restore Sanity in Washington DC, attracting 215,000 people, who cheered him on as he berated the media, or "the country's 24-hour politico–pundit-perpetual-panic-'conflictinator'."

... ... ...

My biggest objection to Fox News, I say, is not the scaremongering, it's the way it's reshaped the Republican party. It will misrepresent social and economic issues, and promote the more extreme elements of the party, politicians such as Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee, in a way that is hugely detrimental to American politics. (For the record, Rupert Murdoch disagrees, and last year claimed that Fox News "absolutely saved" the Republican party.) "Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing," says Stewart. "I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease."

... ... ...

Jon Stuart Leibowitz was born in New York and raised in New Jersey, the son of a teacher and a professor of physics. He grew up in the shadow of the Vietnam war and Watergate, events that left him, he has said in the past, "with a healthy scepticism towards official reports". He jokingly recalls the time his older brother fired him from his first job at Woolworths as one of the defining, "scarring events" of his youth. But his parents' divorce when he was 11 was clearly more so, prompting him to drop his surname and eventually legally change it to Stewart. He has described his relationship with his father as still "complicated". "There was a thought of using my mother's maiden name, but I thought that would be just too big a fuck you to my dad," he says. "Did I have some problems with my father? Yes. Yet people always view it [changing his surname] through the prism of ethnic identity."

So it was a family thing as opposed to a Jewish thing? "Right. So whenever I criticise Israel's actions it's [he puts on a Yiddishy accent] 'He's changed his name! He's not a Jew! He hates himself!' And I'm like, 'I hate myself for a lot of reasons, but not because I'm Jewish.'"

After college, Stewart performed on the standup circuit in New York, landing his own talkshow on MTV in the 1990s. In 1999, he took over the then little-loved Daily Show on Comedy Central, turning it from hit-and-miss satire to the news- and politics-focused programme it is today. Coming to it at 38, he says, the job was so ideal, "I couldn't have created one better".

Since Stewart announced his departure, much has been written about him being the most trusted news source for young Americans. Stewart kiboshes this as "conventional wisdom. In the sea of information that surrounds people of that generation, I'd be truly surprised if their only news comes four days of the week, for a few minutes a night." He laughs when I describe him as a celebrity ("I'm not Madonna!" he hoots, raising an eyebrow). The only restriction fame has put on his freedom, he says, is "I don't hang out on the Upper West Side during Sukkot". Isn't he being a bit faux modest, I ask, especially when he insists that what he does is comedy and not news? That comes with a certain profile. He thinks about this for a few seconds. "It's not that I… I mean, it's satire, so it's an expression of real feelings. So I don't mean that in the sense of, 'I don't mean this.' What I mean is, the tools of satire should not be confused with the tools of news. We use hyperbole, but the underlying sentiment has to feel ethically, intentionally correct, otherwise we wouldn't do it."

'Would I watch Fox News? If it was a nuclear winter and it might help my family'

... ... ...

IMNonsuch Alyeska 18 Apr 2015 18:29

I would have gone for Tina Fey, or Amy Poehler, but preferably Tina. I think the show could do with a woman and her talent for absurdity dishep up with a straight face would fit the bill exactly.

IMNonsuch 18 Apr 2015 18:22

It's not possible that he doesn't realise why he is considered the most trusted news source by so many. Underneath the satire, there is a layer of perspective that he offers. And precisely because he offers it, but doesn't thrust it upon his viewers, that is why he is trusted by his audience. And as I wrote above, it's inconceivable that he is unaware of that.

fraac1 tankerton 18 Apr 2015 18:12

I've watched The Daily Show and, until it finished, The Colbert Report for several years by torrenting them as soon as they appeared (very quickly). Both far superior to news commentary we have in Britain.

Nicholas Rios 18 Apr 2015 18:08

Television icon. Modern philosopher. Thanks Mr. Stewart.

Alyeska bjammin187 18 Apr 2015 18:06

I'd offer Samantha Bee double to please please retire from television. She's not funny, she's just irritating.

John Oliver would have been the perfect choice - or, Tina Fey!

Nicholas Rios Wynters 18 Apr 2015 18:04

John Oliver was on Stewart's show. Even hosted it for 3 months. Are you daft?

Westy61 MsTeatime 18 Apr 2015 18:00

Every Iranian government post-revolution has abused the human rights of the people it finds threatening.

That would be every single Iranian government after the CIA/MI6 lead coup that overthrew the democratically elected Mosaddeq government and installed the despot Shah-an-Shah Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi whose CIA trained SAVAK secret police were notorious for torture and executions, wouldn't it?

Bluejil 18 Apr 2015 17:58

"the country's 24-hour politico–pundit-perpetual-panic-'conflictinator'."

Hilarious and not something that only happens in the US, we have it here too and so very true!

I was living in the US during the first Bush term, after 9/11 it was quite frightening, the media pandering to Bush. Stewart was the only voice telling the truth and challenging the media. For sixteen years he continued to do so and he deserves high praise for that, a remarkable and very funny man.

George Silversurfer 18 Apr 2015 17:50

i used to feel Colbert was the right successor to David Letterman...but now i believe John Stewart might have been a better fit.

DCJ1987 18 Apr 2015 17:46

He has multi-millions of dollars, got tired of doing the same O same O, & needs a change in his mid-life. He'll play golf with friends like of Bill O'Reilly, Will Ferrell, Sean Hannity, Tavis Smiley, & Rush Limbaugh. Go on shows like Bill Maher's, Tonight with Jimmy Fallon, & the New Late Night with Stephen Colbert. He'll be paid $275,000.00 for speeches, too.

bjammin187 harpedonaptae 18 Apr 2015 17:38

Just wondering if you voted for G W Bush. If so, what did you confuse for leadership there?

bjammin187 reddan 18 Apr 2015 17:33

Nope. He made Blair squirm. What should he have done? Perform a citizens arrest?

Nicko Thime 18 Apr 2015 17:31

The world is a better place for John Stewart having done the yeoman work he has done for the past years. Those who are his audience have long been recognized as the most informed, mostly due to his efforts.

I am sad to see him leave, but look forward to new blood in the spot as well was wishing this great observer of the American condition the best of luck.

Thanks, Mr. Stewart.

Phil Smith 18 Apr 2015 17:16

I've just read this sentence: "The furore over Noah's tweets reflects just how high Stewart has set the bar." ... which is of itself a reflection on how Twitter, currently, has the sway, as the lazy current affairs writer's Wikipedia, I think... mind you, I'm writing below the line and it is a little late.

goto100 18 Apr 2015 17:08

Someone who thinks Elizabeth Warren (ex-Republican, neo-liberal supporter of Israel above everything and frenemy of banks) is the solution to all the world's ills, is "left wing"? And the man who "headed off the real left wing at the pass" with his "rally to maintain the status quo at all costs, because, well...hell...I'm more tan alright, Jack", is on the side of the good guys?

Wow, that shark you jumped was big, Guardian.

Thomas19999 Sue Cormack 18 Apr 2015 16:44

Always assuming your intelligence intellect and interests are not restricted UK air space only, please watch a few days of the Daily Show

If you have an interest in US and world events and politics it will help you appreciate the show and laugh more often

SonOfTheDesert percy123 18 Apr 2015 16:42

The Guardian has more readers in the US than anywhere else.

Why is anyone still making a fuss about this?

1984farm 18 Apr 2015 16:37

Over the Iron Curtain, in Poland during the 70-s,the government allowed that kind of political satire on the state radio ( channel 3 ) as a safety valve.

Since I moved to the West ,Jon Stewart and old reruns of Monty Python helped me to adjust to the brave new world.

I hope , one day there will be people just like him.

Wynters Mike Resvit 18 Apr 2015 16:28

Kudos for the irony (although it's a bit too thick), but have you ever heard of John Oliver? I know he's a Brit and so he's probably not made it onto the the US circuit (and someone like Jon Stewart would never be seen dead on the same network, let alone in the same room) but he's pretty good.

RonnieHubbard tankerton 18 Apr 2015 16:12

there are many ways to watch the daily show in the uk

and there really aren't many better comedians than him, but to say he's a comedian is too simplistic. It's like saying Ricky Gervais is just a comedian. Like they are both comedians, but they're a different style of comedian to say Jack Whitehall or Jimmy Carr

There isn't really a British version, (unless you count John Oliver) of him. There isn't a British show anything like his.

Thomas Seymour LetThemSnortCoke 18 Apr 2015 16:11

I was ten when the US participation in the Vietnam war ended. It cast a shadow on US culture and politics for many years after that.

Mike Resvit tankerton 18 Apr 2015 16:09

Yeah, that's why so many Brit comedians are so well known over here...not. We know some of your actors, we know some of your politicians and your royals but pretty much none of your so-called comedians. It's because they're not funny. They simply can't cut it here. Some have tried, a few standup comedians, but they ended up running back to merry 'ol England with their metaphorical tales between their legs. You people wouldn't know funny if it smacked you in your