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Among classic examples of American political humor are the following George Gavlin performances:

Some not bad examples from Comedy Central (especially apt "Bullsh**t Mountain characterization of Fox network by Jon Steward):

Here is a nice anti-NSA cartoon by Martin Kozlowski, WSJ


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NEWS CONTENTS

Old News ;-)

[Jun 27, 2017] I am so fucking tired of Russian hacking bullshit by now,

Jun 27, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com
Lyttenburgh , June 26, 2017 at 1:49 am
[ ]
[ ]
[ ]

Level of sophistication – rock bottom Ukraine.

[ ]
[ ]

I'm so fucking tired of this bullshit by now, so – here you go:

[Jun 27, 2017] Ahh, but Obama was a peace nerd by Democratic Standards. Clinton almost started WWIII. LBJ bombed the shit out of Vietnam. Truman dropped two atomic bombs on surrendering Japan, allegedly to scare the shit out of Stalin

Jun 27, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com
ucgsblog , June 21, 2017 at 6:14 pm
Ahh, but Obama was a peace nerd by Democratic Standards. Clinton almost started WWIII. LBJ bombed the shit out of Vietnam. Truman dropped two atomic bombs on surrendering Japan, allegedly to scare the shit out of Stalin. Carter was a one term wimp. Democrats are just as war hungry as Republicans, but they lucked out with Iraq being a Republican issue, and so tried to get as many political points as possible from it. Obama's Foreign Policy wasn't popular with the Democratic Leadership, but it energized the youth voters, so they stayed silent. Under that context, Trump is indeed soft.

Truman used atomic bombs to bully Russia out of Japan and Western Berlin. LBJ fought by proxy against Russia in Vietnam. Clinton ordered a war with Russia over Kosovo. Obama was the outlier. Also, it certainly helped his candidacy against McCain, and the Democrats in the midterms. After Obama was reelected, it was Arab Spring, I mean business as usual. What did Trump do? Lobbed a few missiles at the Syrians, and shot down a single plane. Just one?! What a softy! The DNC Leadership needs to realize that the World isn't in the 1990s anymore, but I doubt that they will, and that's an issue that will cost them the 2018 midterms.

[Jun 27, 2017] No matter how many times the USA has lied to Russia, disparaged it, lied about it, cheated it .when America says, Hey, lets play football! Ill hold it, and you come running up and kick it! Russia will still fall for the old dodge, and come running and try to kick it, only to have it snatched away at the last second so it can fall on its ass

Notable quotes:
"... I really hope Russia has learned its lesson. It does no good to talk with Washington, as it only and always means Russia harm. Despite the popular aphorism, "Jaw, jaw is better than war, war", there is no reason Russia must choose one. Any overtures by Washington – including and especially to re-open the deconfliction channel in Syria – should be met with polite non-commitment, and a vague promise to look at it, then nothing. ..."
Jun 27, 2017 | marknesop.wordpress.com

marknesop ,

June 21, 2017 at 10:21 pm
Americans (in Washington and in the think tanks) see themselves as Lucy in Charles Shultz's "Peanuts" comic strip, and the Russians as Charlie Brown. No matter how many times the USA has lied to Russia, disparaged it, lied about it, cheated it .when America says, "Hey, let's play football! I'll hold it, and you come running up and kick it!" Russia will still fall for the old dodge, and come running and try to kick it, only to have it snatched away at the last second so it can fall on its ass.

I really hope Russia has learned its lesson. It does no good to talk with Washington, as it only and always means Russia harm. Despite the popular aphorism, "Jaw, jaw is better than war, war", there is no reason Russia must choose one. Any overtures by Washington – including and especially to re-open the deconfliction channel in Syria – should be met with polite non-commitment, and a vague promise to look at it, then nothing.

yalensis , June 22, 2017 at 5:41 pm
Russia's choice:

Cortes , June 21, 2017 at 7:33 pm
Stoogesite Exclusive!

Revealed for the first time: The Donald Meeting His KGB Handler:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/TDbBoJoI-ZU?feature=oembed

[Jun 07, 2017] Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies and other proposals for the title of Hillary new book

Notable quotes:
"... Deplorable You. ..."
"... Me, Myself and I. ..."
"... I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died. ..."
"... I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died. ..."
"... I Maimed, I Whored, I Lied. ..."
Jun 07, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
Jen , , June 5, 2017 at 2:16 pm

Title for Hillary's new book:

The Terrible, Awful, Very Bad, No Good Campaign

Tenantlaw , , June 5, 2017 at 2:18 pm

Hillary's memoir should be called: "Stop Me Before I Kill Again"

allan , , June 5, 2017 at 2:20 pm

"Readers, can you help her out?"

Deplorable You.

Me, Myself and I.

I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died.

Massinissa , , June 5, 2017 at 2:46 pm

"I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died"

Roger Smith , , June 5, 2017 at 2:53 pm

If I Did It: Alternative Tales of Absolution

"The Ceiling's Concrete!": Hillary's Guide to Hardware (complete with a bad photoshop of her in a yellow hard hat, blue button up holding a hammer)

The Electorate Shrugged

John k , , June 5, 2017 at 4:00 pm

Losing together.

Jane , , June 5, 2017 at 4:28 pm

"I Leaned In and Fell Over"

olga , , June 5, 2017 at 5:34 pm

That's a good one!

Eudora Weldy , , June 5, 2017 at 8:04 pm

What Difference Does It Make?

integer , , June 5, 2017 at 11:25 pm

I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died.

Alternatively:

I Maimed, I Whored, I Lied.

Clive , , June 5, 2017 at 2:46 pm

Hillary's book:

"She Stoops to Conquer"

"I Flirted With Victory But He Gave Me the Cold Shoulder"

"That Craazyman Promised Me a Ten Bagger and I Like a Fool Believed Him"

"Pantsuits for Beginners"

"Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies"

Lambert Strether Post author , , June 5, 2017 at 2:56 pm

> "Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies"

+1000!

ex-PFC Chuck , , June 5, 2017 at 3:08 pm

"It Takes A Pillage"

jsn , , June 5, 2017 at 7:00 pm

"The Russians are Comey"

Knifecatcher , , June 5, 2017 at 2:58 pm

With apologies to Barry O:

"The Audacity of Nope"

Anon , June 5, 2017 at 4:01 pm

Hillary's Book Titles:

"1.2 Billion Ways to Lose"

"Like, With a Cloth or Something?: Story of My Campaign"

"It's My Turn to Squander"

"Onward Together into the Woods"

"How to Have Massive Media Backing and Still Lose – Kinda the Story of My Campaign"

John k , June 5, 2017 at 5:36 pm

Angry Bird

Eureka Springs , June 5, 2017 at 7:10 pm

Hair On Fire

Sore Loser

With a – re re re re re re re re introduction of Myself

It's My Pity Party (And I'll *itch Slap Everyone I Want Too)

Putin On A Fit

Red Mist In My Eye

Hypocrisy Now!

Neo Karma

Me Me Meeeeee

Uranium Homesick Blues

sd , June 6, 2017 at 1:23 am

It's Still My Turn

funemployed , June 5, 2017 at 4:26 pm

"I'm with Me"

"Wronger Together"

"The Unbearable Lightness of Being the Most Qualified Person Evah"

"Do I Dream of Electric Deplorables? (I do, of killing them with drones)"

"Ozywomandias"

"Something Deplorable this way Comes"

"The Fountain@$$"

"The Great Patsy"

"The Third Coming"

JerseyJeffersonian , June 5, 2017 at 7:31 pm

"Ozywomandias"

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: `Two vast and trunkless cankles of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear -
"My name is Ozywomandias, queen of queens:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

[Jun 07, 2017] Something about privatization of air traffic contollers

Jun 07, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
jo6pac , June 5, 2017 at 3:29 pm

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-infrastructure-idUSKBN18W215

Pilot– Chicago O'Hare I'm asking for permission to land.

Tower– Please listen closely because do upgrades our message has changed.

Chicago O'Hare I'm asking for permission to land.

Tower– Please all pilots in O'Hare landing pattern talk among yourselves to work out who is first.

Pilot– WTF

Tower– This being the first Monday of Month there are no ground crews so just drive around until you find a location to unload the sheeple. That is all and Good F$$$$$$ Luck!

Still dead Ronnie-ray-gunn would be so proud.

Synoia , June 5, 2017 at 4:39 pm

British Airways version:

Tower: BA 200, permission for takeoff..

.

Tower: BA 200, come in please..

[May 25, 2017] Wow, Trump just hasnt been the same since he touched that orb by Lambert Strether

Notable quotes:
"... Wow, Trump just hasn't been the same since he touched that orb ..."
"... I talked to Sauron, tremendous guy, very bright, he's great. ..."
May 23, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

The Twitter went wild on the orb. I liked this one:

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Cyrus the Great was buried with a sceptre of tremendous power. I, king of the New World, command my people to find his tomb & recover his sceptre. None
shall sleep until the sceptre is found!

■ Pixelated Boat

@pixelatedboat

Wow, Trump just hasn't been the same since he touched that orb

5:43 PM-21 May 2017

3,365 V 8,882

And this one:

Nick Greene @NickGreene 21 May

Trump During the Campaign: "I will NEVER touch The Orb, even though its mysterious glow seduces and beguiles."

Trump Today: pic.twitter.com/eWoaDeXj8n

Boo

@TheSpaceHamster

@NickGreene

Spicer:the president has not and will never use the orb to talk to sauron

45: I talked to Sauron, tremendous guy, very bright, he's great.

3:30 PM-21 May 2017

There was also a very good one for Sanders which now I can't find, but Twitter's search function is what it is, and Google thinks I want to search on "orbital sanders." So it goes.

[May 22, 2017] NSA is here to help you or Spying as a service (SAAS)

May 22, 2017 | www.unz.com

Willem Hendrik, May 21, 2017 at 9:50 pm GMT

Look at the bright side; If you lost the grocery list your wife gave you, call the NSA and ask them to send you a copy.

If your boss denies promising you a raise call NSA for supporting materials.

SAAS ( Spying as a service)

[May 14, 2017] Lets Go To Peak Trump Hysteria-Ambassador Kislyak For FBI Chief! by John Derbyshire

I suggested back in March that the President throw this Russia stuff right back in the elites' smug weasel faces by making the Russian ambassador an honored guest at all cabinet meetings. In the same spirit of defiance, I now tender a further suggestion.

Mr. President, you are in need of a new FBI Director. Please consider appointing Russian ambassador Sergey Ivanovich Kislyak to this position.

Ambassador Kislyak is a genial and worldly fellow you should have no trouble getting along with. As a former diplomatic functionary of the U.S.S.R., I'm sure he is well acquainted with intelligence procedures and protocols. An ideal candidate!

You'd probably have to grant him U.S. citizenship; but I believe that can be done on an expedited basis by a simple Act of Congress.

The upside for you would be that it would drive the opposition into shrieking, moon-howling madness. The downside for our country would be nothing at all.

[May 05, 2017] In defence of the size of Obama bribe

Notable quotes:
"... Apparently, corruption is now the love that dare not speak its name. ..."
Apr 28, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
WheresOurTeddy , , April 26, 2017 at 3:18 pm

In defense of Obama making $400K while Clinton only made $225K

he was actually able to *GET ELECTED*.. She took all her bribes up front then lost to Trump with a 2-1 money advantage and the press completely in her pocket. Truly pathetic. He should get WAY more than 2x what she does. HE ACTUALLY DELIVERED SOMETHING TO HIS BENEFACTORS. If she had any shame - which she obviously doesn't - she'd disappear forever. And we'd all be the better for it.

Hillary, Bill, and Chelsea are three of the most embarrassing Americans to have ever lived. If you think I'm being too harsh, ask yourself why the (D) party they built for 30 years prefers fascism to democratic socialism.

Jeff W , April 26, 2017 at 4:48 pm

WaPo:

Whether fair or not, it's not difficult to look at Wall Street paying $400,000 to Obama as a reward for [not prosecuting anyone on Wall Street for the crash].

Well, something that seems fairer , if not inarguable, is that if President Obama had prosecuted people on Wall Street, demanded Pecora investigation-style hearings, or, y'know, acted generally in the public interest, Wall Street would not be shelling out $400,000 to hear his views on anything.

To view Obama during his presidency as not being constrained under those circumstances seems, to me, to be a kind of willful obliviousness.

Marina Bart , April 26, 2017 at 8:19 pm

Great framing.

Apparently, corruption is now the love that dare not speak its name.

[Apr 27, 2017] Obama's $400,000 Wall Street Speech Is Completely In Character Obama isn't just showing that he is a creature of the banks

He probably said to himself, "What did I make in a year as president? Oh yeah, $400,000. Now that's what I want to make in an hour"
Apr 27, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
Reply Big River Bandido , April 27, 2017 at 7:03 pm

Sticker seen on a Bedford Ave. lamppost in Williamsburg, 2002:

God Bless Our Brave Stockbrokers

Huey Long , April 27, 2017 at 7:49 pm

Yikes!

I wonder, was that in the:

A) Hasidic Jewish

B) Puerto Rican

C) Hipster

portion of Williamsburg?

[Apr 21, 2017] First Transgender President Trump Becomes Hillary by Fred Reed

Apr 20, 2017 | unz.com

Oh Lord, it's happening–the remanufacture of Trump by the Establishment. During the campaign, Trump and the Basilisk had nothing in common but their hair dye. Now, almost daily, he looks more like her.

He gets embarrassing. Regarding the alleged gassing in Syria, quoth Donald:

"When you kill innocent children, innocent babies - babies, little babies - with a chemical gas that crosses many, many lines, beyond a red line. And I will tell you, that attack on children yesterday had a big impact on me my attitude toward Syria and Assad has changed very much."

God almighty. Who wrote this–a middle school girl with C's in English, or the President of the United States? Did he retire to his bedroom for a good cry?

Apparently he ordered his missile strike without bothering to find out what happened. The usual suspects are driving him like a sports car.

The election was a choice between fetor and a lunatic. We chose the lunatic. Whether this was better than the alternative, we will never know, but Trump is going from bad to worse, or as the Mexicans say, de Guatemala a Guatepeor.

Does he believe this stuff? Is he naive enough to think that there was something unusually horrible about the attack? Horrible, yes, but not in the least unusual. Do you know what everyday, boring artillery does to children? Five-hundred-pound bombs? Hellfire rockets? Daily Mr. Trump's military and his allies daily drop shrapnel-producing explosives on people, cities, towns, adults, children, weddings and goatherds in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and Yemen. Good draft-dodger that he was, he probably has never seen any of this. Good psychopath that he may be, he may not care.

This whole gas-attack business smells to high heaven. It looks nicely calculated to force him to attack Assad. Gas was important: Killing babies, little babies with explosives is so routine that no one cares, but we have been programmed to shudder at the thought of Gas!

Actually artillery has killed several orders of magnitude more people, but never mind.

Targeting children was a nice touch. Definitely a PR bonus. So Donald goes into his Poor-widdle-fings weep, while Americans weekly kill more children in three to seven countries, depending on the date.

Is the man consciously a liar? Hasn't got sense enough to think before operating his mouth? Actually believes what he says when he says it?

Glance at a small part of the record and focus on his changing his tune, not on whether you agree with a particular policy. Erratic, erratic, erratic. He was going to run out the illegals within two years, absurd but he said it. Going to put high tariffs on Mexican goods. Didn't. On Chinese goods. Isn't. Tear up the Iran treaty. Didn't. Declare China a currency-manipulator. Isn't. Ban Muslims. Hasn't. Promote good relations with Russia. Isn't. Get the US out of Syria. Ha. Make NATO pay for itself. Isn't. The man has the steely determination one associates with bean curd. You cannot trust anything the man says.

Having been reprogrammed as a good neocon, bombing places he promised to get out of, looking for a fight with Russia, he is now butting heads with Fat Thing in North Korea. He his said things closely resembling, "We have run out of strategic patience with the North. If nobody else will take care of it, we will." Grrrr. Bowwow. Woof.

The problem with growly ultimata made for television is that somebody has to back down–that is, lose face and credibility. If Trump had quietly told Fat Thing, "If you crazy bastards scrap your nuke program, we will drop the sanctions," it might have worked. But no. Negotiations would imply weakness. Thus an ultimatum.

So now either (a) Fat Thing knuckles under, humiliating himself and possibly endangering his grasp on power or (b) Trump blinks in a humiliating display of the Empire's impotence, possibly endangering his grasp on power.

Kim Jong Il, or Il Sung Jong, or whatever the the hell the latest one of them is called, shows not the slightest sign of backing down. So does the Donald start an utterly unpredictable war, as usual in somebody else's country, or does he weasel off, muttering, and hope nobody notices?

Fred's Third Law of International Relations: Never butt heads with a country that has a missile named the No Dong.

Many of us favored Trump, slightly daft though he was, because he wasn't yet Hillary, wasn't yet a neocon robot, and didn't want war with every country he had heard of, apparently meaning a good half dozen. At least he said he didn't, not yet having been told that he did. In particular, he didn't want war with Russia. But when the neocons control the media and Congress, they can convince a naive public of anything and, apparently, the President.

Why is the Hillarification of Trump important? The necessary prior question: What is the greatest threat to the neocons' American Empire? Answer: The ongoing integration of Eurasia under Chinese hegemony. The key countries in this are China, Iran, and Russia. (Isn't it curious that, apart from the momentary distraction of North Korea, these countries have been the focus of New York's hostility?) In particular if Russia and, through it, China develop large and very profitable trade with Europe, there goes NATO and with it the Empire.

Oops.

Thus the eeeeeeeeeeek! furor about Russia as existential threat and so on. Thus sending a few troops to Baltic countries to "deter" Russia. This was theater. The idea that a thousand garrison troops can stop the Russian army, which hasn't gone silly as ours has, on its doorstep is loony.

Hillary was on board with the Russia hysteria and the globalization and the immigration and so on. Trump could have screwed the whole pooch by getting along with Russia, so he had to be reconfigured. And was. A work in progress, but going well.

ORDER IT NOW

Too much is being asked of him. One man cannot overcome the combined hostility of the media, the political establishment, the neocons, the myriad other special interests that he has threatened. Mass immigration is a done deal. China develops and America, already developed, cannot keep up. The country disintegrates socially. Washington, always depending on war and its threat, faces a new world in which trade is the weapon, and doesn't know what to do. The culture courses. The world changes.

Yet if only Trump showed some sign of knowing what he is doing, and could remember from day to day, if only he realized that wars are more easily started than predicted, if only he were not becoming an unbalanced Hillary.

Yet, apparently, he is.

(Reprinted from Fred on Everything by permission of author or representative)

[Apr 17, 2017] The Syria Strikes A Conspiracy Theory

Nice satire... almost Gavlin style...
Notable quotes:
"... This is the 100% true story of the #SyriaStrikes, and if you support sites like The Corbett Report that question it in any way you are a moonbeam fake news tyrant-loving hippy pinko Russian agent and should commit ritual suicide immediately. ..."
Apr 17, 2017 | www.moonofalabama.org
Anoncommentator | Apr 15, 2017 12:31:18 AM | 130
This is going viral and so it should!!! corbettreport

The Syria Strikes A Conspiracy Theory

TRANSCRIPT AND SOURCES: https://www.corbettreport.com/syriast...

On the morning of April 4th 2017, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, on the verge of a military victory against the terrorist insurgency in his country and on the eve of peace talks that would secure his position as president, decided to use chemical weapons he didn't have against a target of no military significance in front of as many cameras as possible to cross the one red line that would insure his own government's downfall.

Soon after, the Academy Award-winning White Helmets –noted for their Oscar-worthy performances , persistent proximity to Al Qaeda , and financial dependence on USAID –bravely risked their lives, handling Sarin victims barehanded against every protocol in the book.

Without presenting a shred of evidence, President Donald Trump boldly launched a military strike against Shayrat airfield because "national security interest," promising to help the "beautiful children" (*offer does not apply to babies in Gaza , Yemen , Pakistan , or basically anywhere else).

That military strike, a volley of 59 Tomahawk land attack missiles of which 23 actually made it to their target, failed to take out a single runway or even keep the airbase from operating for even 24 hours , but was a complete success for ExxonMobil , Raytheon and Donald Trump .

No one could question the wisdom of striking Syria ( except Donald Trump ). And no one could oppose such a move ( except Russia ).

The Trump Train, still convinced by candidate Trump (" dropping bombs on Assad " and " look what happened after Gaddafi ") concluded that this was 7th dimensional backgammon to make China afraid of the US' willingness to spend $100 million in a fearsome show of failing to destroy a single airfield.

Throughout the world people rejoice as a horrible secular regime in the Middle East is replaced by yet another peace-loving band of ragtag human rights campaigners and child beheaders motivated by a desire to subdue the armies of Rome in an apocalyptic confrontation in Dabiq. (* actual ISIS belief )

The chemicals for the previous "red line" attack in Syria have since been proven to come from Libya with US approval , but that's probably not relevant to this case.

The CIA has released declassified report after declassified report showing that the plan to topple Syria's government has been in the works for decades, but this just shows that they were right all along.

The mainstream media unquestioningly asserts that the story is true because the US government says so, but that's OK because we all know the msm is full of unbiased truthtellers and dig hard to get the raw facts on every story. (" beauty of our weapons ")

Even members of congress think the story is a load of hogwash , but that's OK because they're probably crazy.

Meanwhile the White House has released a report on its intelligence about the chemical attack that refutes its own version of the story , but that's OK because when has the White House ever lied people into war?

This man doesn't exist, and if you think he does you're an enemy of humanity who should apologize for having been born. Likewise him , her , her , him and him . And him and her .

This is the 100% true story of the #SyriaStrikes, and if you support sites like The Corbett Report that question it in any way you are a moonbeam fake news tyrant-loving hippy pinko Russian agent and should commit ritual suicide immediately.

If you love your country and/or liberty, NASCAR, supermodels, TV, water slides or your mother you will not question this story in any way. Ever.

This message has been brought to you by the Friends of the Brookings Institute , Raytheon , Genie Oil , Oded Yinon , I-CIA-SIS and The New York Times .

Because IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH!

[Apr 04, 2017] Too much neoliberal swamp gas

Apr 04, 2017 | economistsview.typepad.com
DrDick said in reply to pgl... , April 03, 2017 at 04:22 PM
A great piece by Stiglitz. ( Illiberal Stagnation - Joseph E. Stiglitz )
paine -> DrDick ... , April 03, 2017 at 04:22 PM
Too much liberal swamp gas
libezkova -> paine... , April 03, 2017 at 09:33 PM
"Too much [neo]liberal swamp gas"

this is almost Mark Twain's level quote :-).

[Apr 01, 2017] Russias New Voicemail Press 2 For Services Of Russian Hackers, Press 3 For Election Interference

Apr 01, 2017 | www.zerohedge.com
With the Russian election hacking scandal having gone from the merely strange, to the bizarre, to the ironic, to the McCarthyist, and most recently, jumping the patently absurd shark - as of last night, anyone who is against Hillary is "influenced by Russia" according to a former Clinton advisor - Russia decided to have some fun at the expense of US paranoia.

On Saturday, the ministry posted the following audio file of the "new" automated telephone switchboard message for Russian embassies.

"You have reached the Russian embassy, your call is very important to us. To arrange a call from a Russian diplomat to your political opponent, press 1. To use the services of Russian hackers press 2. To request election interference, press 3 and wait until the next election campaign. Please note that all calls are recorded for quality improvement and training purposes."

Russian MFA developed automated voicemail system - please listen (Russian, then English) and tell us your opinion. Feedback appreciated! https://t.co/HH23WC1THi

- Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) April 1, 2017

pic.twitter.com/eLl8Jgcgzt

- (@MID_RF) April 1, 2017

And just to make it clear, it is April 1: as AP observes for the countless spy agencies, and congressional committees still trying to explain how Moscow subliminally influenced millions of Americans to vote for Trump instead of Hillary, a ministry officer confirmed that the post was a joke.

Belrev -> -> Chris Dakota Apr 1, 2017 11:14 AM

Here is the English part of the answering machine message

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDOGOPZrsb0

Chet Ricco -> yovatti •Apr 1, 2017 10:36 AM

What does Russia do that the U.S. doesn't? Spy on it's people? Engage in state sponsored assassination? Invade sovereign nations? Oh, I know what makes you angry! They don't allow homos access to children. Yeah, only scumbags keep their children safe. S/

[Mar 31, 2017] Soviet Jokes Kept Secret for Decades in Recently Declassified CIA Docs

Mar 31, 2017 | sputniknews.com
In particular, there is a popular anecdote about an American man proving the benefits of freedom of speech to a Russian guy. The American claims he can safely go to the White House and shout out "Screw you, Ronald Reagan!" The Soviet guy indifferently replies: "So what? I can go to the Kremlin and yell 'Screw you, Ronald Reagan!' too."

Another well-known joke describes how various Soviet leaders responded to a situation where a train they were travelling in suddenly stops. Vladimir Lenin suggests uniting all workers and peasants and asking them to build a new road. Joseph Stalin orders the train drivers shot. Nikita Khrushchev rehabilitates the executed ones, orders that the rails be removed from behind the train and put in front of it. And Leonid Brezhnev draws the curtains and starts swinging from side to side, imitating the train's movement.

25th Anniversary of the USSR's Collapse: Perestroika in Pictures 20 There is also a joke about a disgruntled Soviet worker who decides to leave a line in a liquor store because he finds it too long and instead attempt "to kill Mikhail Gorbachev." However, later he returns, noting that "the queue there is even longer."

"Communism is an unscientific doctrine because it was not initially tested on dogs," claims another political joke.

In another joke poking fun at the permanent shortages in stores, a man comes into a shop and asks "You wouldn't happen to have fish, would you?" The shop assistant replies, "comrade, you've got it wrong! This is a butcher's shop - here we wouldn't happen to have meat. There is a fish shop across the road, that's where they wouldn't happen to have fish!"

[Feb 27, 2017] February 24, 2017 at 3:13 pm

Feb 27, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Some people I am acquainted with came up with:

The Democratic Party Apology Handbook

http://www.byebyedemocracy.org/p/the-democratic-party-apology-handbook.html?m=1

[Feb 25, 2017] Pro-lifers disavow clinic bombings: "We finally see the irony

Feb 25, 2017 | economistsview.typepad.com
Tom aka Rusty : , February 21, 2017 at 11:11 AM
Not as good as The Onion, but pretty funny in a weird way:

http://www.hillarybeattrump.org

RGC -> Tom aka Rusty... , February 21, 2017 at 11:38 AM
Pro-lifers disavow clinic bombings: "We finally see the irony"

(My keyboard is devastated)

ilsm -> Tom aka Rusty... , February 21, 2017 at 02:08 PM
democrats' 'real America' where the deep state McCarthy's the republicans and the media lies keeping the Cambridge and Berkley 'majority' conned.

[Feb 20, 2017] As a bonus, they will learn what fallout is.

Feb 20, 2017 | www.zerohedge.com
DuckDog -> ronaldwilsonreagan , Feb 19, 2017 1:20 PM

Finally we get Pence in control and he can carry on where Obama left off and Hillary couldn't start, WWIII with Russia.... I so want to see what a first strike looks like and the aftermath of what Russia will do to North America.

Attacking Russia will be the best show on TV, all the fake MSM news will have to cover the fallout in North America in real time, awesome stuff....

New_Meat -> DuckDog , Feb 19, 2017 5:55 PM

DuckDog, we know that the really fake MSM will say "It is all George Bush's Fault!!!"

Details at 11.

And, as a bonus, they will learn what "fallout" is.

[Jan 21, 2017] Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

Jan 21, 2017 | www.theonion.com

WASHINGTON-Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

"Go on now-get out of here!" said the former commander-in-chief, his lower lip trembling and his eyes welling with tears as he affected a stern tone of voice in an attempt to scare off the faithful hunter-killer drone that had spent the past eight years obediently at his side.

"You can't come with me anymore, you got that? Can't you see this is for your own good? Now scram. What are you waiting for? Go!" At press time, a heartbroken Obama had thrown a rock in the drone's direction, causing the unmanned aerial vehicle to flee into the sky, where it paused to look back one last time at its old master before flying off toward a Yemeni tribal wedding.

[Jan 12, 2017] The WHO warns of outbreak of virulent new 'Economic Reality' virus by Steve Keen

Jan 12, 2017 | www.nakedcapitalism.com
UserFriendly , January 12, 2017 at 2:20 pm

The WHO* warns of outbreak of virulent new 'Economic Reality' virus by Steve Keen

Absolutely hilarious!
https://www.elgaronline.com/view/journals/roke/5-1/roke.2017.01.08.xml?rskey=EcXQgX&result=1

shinola , January 12, 2017 at 4:03 pm

Thanks UF! I thought it was very amusing. I would recommend it as a companion to the Pilkington article that precedes today's water cooler.

The Who also had these words of warning decades ago: "Meet the new boss / same as the old boss";)

[Jan 12, 2017] The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

Jan 12, 2017 | economistsview.typepad.com
Peter K. : January 12, 2017 at 10:31 AM , 2017 at 10:31 AM
[h/t Steve Randy Waldmann]

http://www.theonion.com/infographic/pros-and-cons-universal-basic-income-55011

The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

INFOGRAPHIC

January 11, 2017
VOL 53 ISSUE 01

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

PRO

CON

[Jan 03, 2017] That's how you forge the Third Way democratic coalition

Jan 03, 2017 | economistsview.typepad.com
ilsm : , January 02, 2017 at 04:19 PM
Out of nowhere......

came a dysfunctional GOP tilting against a corporatist opposition which thinks supporting abortion, free sex, weed and gay marriage is being liberal.

likbez -> ilsm... , -1
That's how you forge the "Third Way" democratic coalition ;-)

[Dec 25, 2016] CIA Troll Food - 10 ways to spot a Russian Spy Zero Hedge

Dec 25, 2016 | www.zerohedge.com
Here's 10 ways to spot a *real* Russian Spy in America:

1) Superior use of the English language, with a thick accent, failure to use articles such as 'the' and 'a' – such as 'take shower' instead of 'going to take a shower.' Russian Language is far more complex but more logical and efficient in use of letters, speech, and writing. Russian natives who master English typically have a large vocabulary, and will use proper tenses and complex grammatical structures because they studied it, and will likely leave out slang such as 'you know' and 'like.' (Until of course, they live here for 10 years)

2) Never smiling. Russians do not smile unless they are laughing at a joke, and maybe in some rare cases when something funny happens. Even in this case, their dark sense of humor is something they enjoy on the inside. It's not polite to walk around Moscow smiling. If you do, someone may call the police (as if you have gone mad).

3) Seems to be rude – never says 'please' or 'thank you' – Russians do not have a concept of why you should say 'thank you' to a stranger who just took $50 from you for your groceries. How has this person really helped you or brightened your day? Isn't it their job? Should you say 'thank you for doing your job' as if it's a miracle?

4) Does not wear shoes in his home, he has a foyer where when he enters his house takes off all coats, scarves, hats, shoes and other 'outdoor' wear and puts on fuzzy house slippers or just wears socks.

5) Constantly pays with physical cash. Although some Americans do this anyway who are not necessarily Russian – nearly ALL Russians use 100% physical Rubles for everything from paying rent, health insurance, doctors visits, buying a car, buying groceries, or investing. The electronic economy hasn't taken hold in Russia – and partly because they are 'paranoid' that if they put their money in a bank, the bank will seize it or bankrupt.

6) Never will open a door for a stranger, or move out of the way if you are in his walking vector, in fact he may knock over any passersby like bowling pins if they are in the way; and certainly will never say 'excuse me.'

7) Always well dressed, even to go grocery shopping – maybe keeps a pocket comb even if his hair is only 2 cm long. Russians don't have a concept of wearing sweat suits or pajamas to the grocery store. When they go out even if just to run to the corner store for a milk.

8) Wary to use air conditioner. In Russia very few buildings have A/C – in the summer months when it's hot, it is still cool at night, when most open windows and enjoy a nice breeze. Modern buildings of course have the conveniences of A/C but those who are older or who grew up in older buildings do not have A/C – only heat. Therefore, they aren't used to cranking up the A/C year round like the blue hairs in Sunny Florida. If they are hot they are more likely to take a walk or open the windows.

9) Not likely to find Russians in paid public events unless they are formal. Russia has a well-developed public system of parks and other free public use systems and they aren't used to paying a few dollars to enter a public park, see Christmas lights, or $1 to view through binoculars along side the highway. Paying $250 for theater tickets is different – they aren't cheap people, they are just not used to being nickeled and dimed when outside their homes, because in Russia it's all free.

10) Strange tippers. In Russia they don't use the 'tipping' system, if you eat in a café or bar you may leave your spare change for example, if the bill is $9.50 you may leave the additional $.50 – or if you have a few extra dollars you may leave it – or not. The majority of cafes, restaurants, bars, and other establishments only expect tips from tourists. And if a Russian does leave a tip, it's likely to be very small (not 10%!!).

There you have it! There are many cultural differences between USA and Russia, although there are too many similarities. In this series of articles, we're spreading the facts about Russia – the great unknown Bear.

Umh , Dec 24, 2016 6:09 PM

#4 makes him Turkish or Chinese or Japanese......

[Dec 20, 2016] ClubOrlov The Power of Nyet

Notable quotes:
"... What we ordinary folk think of as "American" interests are those interests as expressed by an entrenched foreign policy establishment to which the price of admission isn't only graduate studies in an expensive university. No, you have to walk within the lines. There's nothing as old under the sun as "group-think". ..."
"... he served a purpose when he diverged from long established consensus and said that maybe, just maybe, getting on with the Russians might not be that hard. Or that NATO is an out-dated, dead-weight non-alliance of the unwilling. Or that border-less trade ruined heartland America. ..."
July 26. 2016 | cluborlov.blogspot.com
[ O poder do "não" ]
[ Het vermogen van "njet" ]
[ Síla „Nět" ]
[ Le pouvoir du " Niet " ]

The way things are supposed to work on this planet is like this: in the United States, the power structures (public and private) decide what they want the rest of the world to do. They communicate their wishes through official and unofficial channels, expecting automatic cooperation. If cooperation is not immediately forthcoming, they apply political, financial and economic pressure. If that still doesn't produce the intended effect, they attempt regime change through a color revolution or a military coup, or organize and finance an insurgency leading to terrorist attacks and civil war in the recalcitrant nation. If that still doesn't work, they bomb the country back to the stone age. This is the way it worked in the 1990s and the 2000s, but as of late a new dynamic has emerged.

In the beginning it was centered on Russia, but the phenomenon has since spread around the world and is about to engulf the United States itself. It works like this: the United States decides what it wants Russia to do and communicates its wishes, expecting automatic cooperation. Russia says "Nyet." The United States then runs through all of the above steps up to but not including the bombing campaign, from which it is deterred by Russia's nuclear deterrent. The answer remains "Nyet." One could perhaps imagine that some smart person within the US power structure would pipe up and say: "Based on the evidence before us, dictating our terms to Russia doesn't work; let's try negotiating with Russia in good faith as equals." And then everybody else would slap their heads and say, "Wow! That's brilliant! Why didn't we think of that?" But instead that person would be fired that very same day because, you see, American global hegemony is nonnegotiable. And so what happens instead is that the Americans act baffled, regroup and try again, making for quite an amusing spectacle.

The whole Edward Snowden imbroglio was particularly fun to watch. The US demanded his extradition. The Russians said: "Nyet, our constitution forbids it." And then, hilariously, some voices in the West demanded in response that Russia change its constitution! The response, requiring no translation, was "Xa-xa-xa-xa-xa!" Less funny is the impasse over Syria: the Americans have been continuously demanding that Russia go along with their plan to overthrow Bashar Assad. The unchanging Russian response has been: "Nyet, the Syrians get to decide on their leadership, not Russia, and not the US." Each time they hear it, the Americans scratch their heads and try again. John Kerry was just recently in Moscow, holding a marathon "negotiating session" with Putin and Lavrov. Above is a photo of Kerry talking to Putin and Lavrov in Moscow a week or so ago and their facial expressions are hard to misread. There's Kerry, with his back to the camera, babbling away as per usual. Lavrov's face says: "I can't believe I have to sit here and listen to this nonsense again." Putin's face says: "Oh the poor idiot, he can't bring himself to understand that we're just going to say 'nyet' again." Kerry flew home with yet another "nyet."

What's worse, other countries are now getting into the act. The Americans told the Brits exactly how to vote, and yet the Brits said "nyet" and voted for Brexit. The Americans told the Europeans to accept the horrendous corporate power grab that is the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP), and the French said "nyet, it shall not pass." The US organized yet another military coup in Turkey to replace Erdoǧan with somebody who won't try to play nice with Russia, and the Turks said "nyet" to that too. And now, horror of horrors, there is Donald Trump saying "nyet" to all sorts of things-NATO, offshoring American jobs, letting in a flood of migrants, globalization, weapons for Ukrainian Nazis, free trade

The corrosive psychological effect of "nyet" on the American hegemonic psyche cannot be underestimated. If you are supposed to think and act like a hegemon, but only the thinking part still works, then the result is cognitive dissonance. If your job is to bully nations around, and the nations can no longer be bullied, then your job becomes a joke, and you turn into a mental patient. The resulting madness has recently produced quite an interesting symptom: some number of US State Department staffers signed a letter, which was promptly leaked, calling for a bombing campaign against Syria in order to overthrow Bashar Assad. These are diplomats. Diplomacy is the art of avoiding war by talking. Diplomats who call for war are not being exactly diplomatic. You could say that they are incompetent diplomats, but that wouldn't go far enough (most of the competent diplomats left the service during the second Bush administration, many of them in disgust over having to lie about the rationale for the Iraq war). The truth is, they are sick, deranged non-diplomatic warmongers. Such is the power of this one simple Russian word that they have quite literally lost their minds.

But it would be unfair to single out the State Department. It is as if the entire American body politic has been infected by a putrid miasma. It permeates all things and makes life miserable. In spite of the mounting problems, most other things in the US are still somewhat manageable, but this one thing-the draining away of the ability to bully the whole world-ruins everything. It's mid-summer, the nation is at the beach. The beach blanket is moth-eaten and threadbare, the beach umbrella has holes in it, the soft drinks in the cooler are laced with nasty chemicals and the summer reading is boring and then there is a dead whale decomposing nearby, whose name is "Nyet." It just ruins the whole ambiance!

The media chattering heads and the establishment politicos are at this point painfully aware of this problem, and their predictable reaction is to blame it on what they perceive as its ultimate source: Russia, conveniently personified by Putin. "If you aren't voting for Clinton, you are voting for Putin" is one recently minted political trope. Another is that Trump is Putin's agent. Any public figure that declines to take a pro-establishment stance is automatically labeled "Putin's useful idiot." Taken at face value, such claims are preposterous. But there is a deeper explanation for them: what ties them all together is the power of "nyet." A vote for Sanders is a "nyet" vote: the Democratic establishment produced a candidate and told people to vote for her, and most of the young people said "nyet." Same thing with Trump: the Republican establishment trotted out its Seven Dwarfs and told people to vote for any one of them, and yet most of the disenfranchised working-class white people said "nyet" and voted for Snow White the outsider.

It is a hopeful sign that people throughout the Washington-dominated world are discovering the power of "nyet." The establishment may still look spiffy on the outside, but under the shiny new paint there hides a rotten hull, with water coming in though every open seam. A sufficiently resounding "nyet" will probably be enough to cause it to founder, suddenly making room for some very necessary changes. When that happens, please remember to thank Russia or, if you insist, Putin.

NowhereMan said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 7:13:00 AM EDT

Beautiful! I'm going to start using that word in conversation now just to gauge people's reactions. Nyet!!! I have one particularly stuffy friend who's just baffled by the Trump phenomenon. He's an old school GOP conservative at heart who's chagrined that he's had to abandon the grand old party in favor of HRC and can't understand for the life of him why the "dirt people" are so enamored with Trump and Sanders. I just laugh and tell him that they're abandoning the Dems for the same reasons that he's embracing them.

The rich and the near rich (which seems to include just about everybody these days, if only in their imaginations) here in the US all suffer from fundamental attribution bias - the idea that their own exceptionalism is why they are doing well - rather than realizing that it's all mostly just the luck of the draw - or even worse - their own willingness to carry corporate water like the good little Nazi's they are that has allowed them to temporarily advance their station in life.

Fortunately for us all, the sun is setting on America's empire as we speak, and fevered dreams of US hegemony for the rest of time will be short lived indeed, although homo sapiens' time might be limited as well. If history keeps recording in the aftermath, US nuclear enabled hegemony will be but a brief blip on the historical radar, and like the legend of Atlantis before us, we'll be remembered chiefly as a society gone mad with our technologies, who aspired to reach out and touch the face of god, but instead settled for embracing our many inner devils. We won't be missed.

Happy Unicorn said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:26:00 AM EDT

A vote for Trump is a vote for Putin? Wouldn't THAT be nice!

Dave Stockton said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:36:00 AM EDT

This whole, "a vote against Hillary is a vote for Putin", is the best thing that could have happened this election. The US population will now have a debate and get to vote on whether we truly want to start World War Three. Hopefully the powers that be will be surprised by the response... NYET!

Unknown said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 12:23:00 PM EDT

Nice...

Putin recently made fun of Lavrov, that he is becoming like Gromyko....
...and Gromyko was called Mr. NYET. :-)

http://sevendaynews.com/2016/06/17/putin-has-lavrov-compared-with-gromyko/

Vyse Legendaire said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 12:37:00 PM EDT

I hope someone would volunteer to design a 'Nyet!' T-shirt on teepublic for advocates to show their unity to the cause.

Shawn Sincoski said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 4:44:00 PM EDT

I really hope that the next time the TBTF banks need a handout, somebody, somewhere reacts with a 'NFW' that resonates with the other plebes. Such a powerful word. But I am doubtful that such an event will occur. With all that is going on with Hillary the house should be on fire by now, but it is not (I am not advocating Trump by disparaging HRC). I suspect that the coming American experience will be unique and (dis)proportionate to their apathy.

Cortes said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:01:00 PM EDT

Herbert Marcuse: The first word of freedom is "No"

Irene Parousis said... Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 6:58:00 AM EDT

BRILLIANT!!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 12:12:00 AM EDT

d94c074a-53e8-11e6-947a-073bf9f943f9 said...
Excellent.
There is a minor twist: "The corrosive psychological effect of "nyet" on the American hegemonic psyche cannot be underestimated". Probably GWB's "misunderestimated" left some local linguistic traume in your brain popping up in your otherwise perfect comment. I guess you meant "cannot be overestimated". Nevermind, you message is clear and convincing anyway :-)

Mister Roboto said... Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 8:07:00 AM EDT

This sums up why all the usual poppycock and folderol about why I need to vote for Hillary that always succeeded in getting under my intellectual skin in the past is now just the mere noise of screeching cats outside the window to me: There just comes a point where, if you have any integrity at all, you have to say, "Nyet!"

Mark said... Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 5:42:00 AM EDT

At some point, voting for a major party candidate is just throwing away your vote.

Roger said... Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 7:11:00 AM EDT

I always enjoy Dmitry's blogs and the fact that he pushes the Russian perspective, as a relief from the Russophobic drivel put out by the mainstream. However, a word of caution to the wise. Obama, Kerry, Clinton, Trump et al. are, in fact, extremely unfunny. Charlie Chaplin lampooned the funny little man with the moustache in the Great Dictator, xa! xa! xa! The truth came out later. Do not be afraid of Neocon America, but please remember these are dangerous people. Be vigilant always.

Bruno said... Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 10:55:00 AM EDT

Loved.

And sad because Brasil didn't say NYET to the coup planted here by USA.

Unknown said... Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 1:02:00 PM EDT

"Putin recently made fun of Lavrov, that he is becoming like Gromyko....
...and Gromyko was called Mr. NYET. :-)"

Even better, Lavrov was subsequently quoted in the press as saying "don't make me say the four letter word".

What a tag team!

Marty said... Friday, July 29, 2016 at 9:20:00 AM EDT

I really believe that you have hit the crux of the issue, the Neocon psychopaths are besides themselves over the Nyets, and they find themselves to be a once powerful now toothless lion, the are being laughed at, even by the American people.

I hope so because the worst of the bunch is Mrs. Clinton, she is just a crazy and stupid enough to burn it all down, perhaps the only thing that would prevent her from doing so is that this would interfere with her Diabolical Narcissistic need to be seen as the Kleptocrat she is and to get away with being the biggest grifter in American history.

Turkey shows that they can't even organize a proper coup any more, even when they have a major base in the country of the government to be compromised. The NeoCons must be so disappointed.

This failed coup was probably also was a big disappointment to those Fed Banksters who were counting on looting the Bank if Turkey's 500 or so Tonnes of gold, as they did with Ukraine.

Roger said... Friday, July 29, 2016 at 12:53:00 PM EDT

Leon Panetta sez "we know how to do this" despite an exuberant flourishing of evidence to the contrary. But there's a glimmer of hope, even if it comes from a way down the ranks, because there's a Col Bacevitch who begs to differ and sez "with all due respect, we DON'T know how to do this."

You ask, know how to do WHAT exactly? Well, the topic at issue in a PBS panel discussion was destroying the Islamic State. But knowing how to do it or NOT knowing how to do it could refer equally to a series of monumental American foreign policy muffs. How could it be, that America with all its military force, screws up so mightily and predictably? Because it's as Mr Orlov asserts, there's a lot of NYETS out there and the American foreign policy establishment can't fathom it.

But what they most crucially can't fathom is that those damn furriners have their own interests at heart just like the Americans have their own interests. Americans from the street level to the highest echelons view the world through Americentric lens resulting in ludicrously distorted fun-house views of the world.

For example, why doesn't the Iranian see things the way Americans want him to? Why is it always "nyet" coming out of Teheran? Why are Iranians so belligerent? Americans seemingly can't comprehend that Iran is an ancient imperial power whose roots go back millennia, right to the origins of civilization. But could it possibly be that Iranian concerns have got more to do with goings-on in their geographic locale and pretty much nothing to do with the United States? And that the Iranian is highly irritated that Americans stick their noses into matters that concern Americans only tangentially or not at all? Could it be that the Iranian has his own life pathways in age-old places that Americans know nothing about? Could it be that an Iranian is educated in his own traditions in ancient academies that far pre-date anything on American soil? You can replace the words "Iranian" and "Iran" with "Chinese" and "China" or "Japanese" and "Japan" or dozens of other places and societies including "Russian" and "Russia". American incomprehension goes deep.

Maybe some of the world is Washington-dominated. But maybe some this domination is more apparent than real. Maybe it only seems Washington-dominated because in many of these places there's a concordance of interests with the United States. But in most of the globe the interests of Americans are not the same as those of the locals. And America has not got the will nor the reach to make it otherwise.

Happy Unicorn said...

Roger: "But in most of the globe the interests of Americans are not the same as those of the locals."

Most of the globe, including America itself! The interests of the Americans you're talking about are usually not the same as mine or anyone's that I know ("the locals" in America). I suspect the people of the USA who aren't brainwashed would have a lot in common with everybody else in the world, because the first colony of any would-be empire (colony 0, let's say) is always the country it originated from. More and more of us are saying nyet too, though the utterance usually takes the less exotic form also enumerated by Dmitry awhile back: "No, because we hate you."
Friday, July 29, 2016 at 3:03:00 PM EDT

flops said... Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 7:22:00 AM EDT

In good wronglish:

There's America, Americans, USA.

And, in some point of our decolonized memory, there's Pacha Mama, our Mother Earth, the name given to our land by the older people.

Not by chance, the unique country in Pacha Mama continents that have a pre-colonial language as its official - Paraguay's Guarani - was the initial focus of this antidemocratic wave attacking our countries.

We, the united states of...? What?

"Pacha Mama" is our best nyet!

Not anymore south and central americas, south and central "americans". Pacha Mama is our real continents' name! We are The United States of Pacha Mama!
When mentioning people from brazil, angentine, chile, bolivia, peru paraguay colombiavenezuelahaiti,surinamepanamacubamexico and so, please call us Pachamamists. That' what we are.

Roger said... Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 11:27:00 AM EDT

HappyUnicorn, of course you're right.

What we ordinary folk think of as "American" interests are those interests as expressed by an entrenched foreign policy establishment to which the price of admission isn't only graduate studies in an expensive university. No, you have to walk within the lines. There's nothing as old under the sun as "group-think".

The lines are long established. Just think of it: globalization, off-shoring millions of jobs, on-shoring millions of dirt-poor immigrants, legal and otherwise. Nothing warms the cockles of the oligarch's heart like a desperate underclass.

I know Trump is a buffoon. But he served a purpose when he diverged from long established consensus and said that maybe, just maybe, getting on with the Russians might not be that hard. Or that NATO is an out-dated, dead-weight non-alliance of the unwilling. Or that border-less trade ruined heartland America.

You saw the venomous reaction. A lot of people staked a career on the status-quo. Is the best-before expired as Trump suggested? I'll bet that if it hadn't been a blustering clown that raised it, many more people on the street would agree.

Some regional interests are historic and easily visible for example, along the Mason-Dixon line. But even on either side of that old divide I think that the disparity is more an artifact of opposing elites determined to not get along. Why don't they get along? Well, there's a country to loot. You need distractions and diversions while pension funds and treasuries are emptied.

And so we're off chasing our tails on burning problems like gender neutral washrooms. Brilliant, don't you think? Kudos to the Obama regime for that one. And so it's God fearin', gun packin' "conservative" versus enlightened, high-minded "progressive". What a joke, what a con. Yet, predictably, we fell for it. You name it, school prayer, abortion, evolution, and now washrooms, we fall for it, we always do.

Robert T. said... Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 1:52:00 PM EDT

It would be very nice if someone could write a piece on what life in Russia, in all its levels, is really like nowadays. I suspect that it is not just "nyet" that terrifies the Empire, but rather what Russia herself is now increasingly coming to represent.

A lot of people, myself included, had been brought up thinking that Russia, while indeed a superpower, isn't and cannot be on the same page as the US. But now here are reports saying that a good and strong leader has pulled Russia out of the rut, and made things better. What's more, this leader did it in a manner that seems antithetical to the Empire. And what's even better is that this new Russia can't be easily rocked, like how the other countries had been rocked and thrown into chaos. The Empire therefore is at its wit's end. If people from other parts of the Earth, especially in those many places where democracy has failed miserably, begin to see that there is indeed an alternative to the empirical system, won't they then start to follow Russia's footsteps?

Headsails said... Tuesday, August 2, 2016 at 2:07:00 AM EDT

Just like a spoiled rotten child that needs to learn some manners. It needs to learn the meaning of no. But in this case, instead of a spankng they would be chain ganged for life.

[Dec 20, 2016] ClubOrlov Brain Parasite Gonna Eatcha!

Dec 16, 2016 | cluborlov.blogspot.com
Brain Parasite Gonna Eatcha! I've been experiencing some difficulties with commenting on the current political situation in the US, because it's been a little too funny, whereas this is a very serious blog. But I have decided that I must try my best. Now, these are serious matters, so as you read this, please refrain from any and all levity and mirth.

You may have heard by now that the Russians stole the US presidential election; if it wasn't for them, Hillary Clinton would have been president-elect, but because of their meddling we are now stuck with Donald Trump and his 1001 oligarchs running the federal government for the next four years.

There are two ways to approach this question. One is to take the accusation of Russian hacking of the US elections at face value, and we will certainly do that. But first let's try another way, because it's quicker. Let's consider the accusation itself as a symptom of some unrelated disorder. This is often the best way forward. Suppose a person walks into a doctor's office, and says, "Doctor, I believe I have schizophrenium poisoning." Should the doctor summon the hazmat team, or check for schizophrenia first?

And so let's first consider that this "Russians did it" refrain we keep hearing is a symptom of something else, of which Russians are not the cause. My working hypothesis is that this behavior is being caused by a brain parasite. Yes, this may seem outlandish at first, but as we'll see later the theory that the Russians stole the election is no less outlandish.

Brain parasites are known to alter the behavior of the organisms they infest in a variety of subtle ways. For instance, Toxicoplasma gondii alters the behavior of rodents, causing them to lose fear of cats and to become attracted to the smell of cat urine, making it easy for the cats to catch them. It also alters the behavior of humans, causing them to lavish excessive affection on cats and to compulsively download photographs of cute kittens playing with yarn.

My hypothesis is that this particular brain parasite was specifically bioengineered by the US to make those it infects hate Russia. I suspect that the neurological trigger it uses is Putin's face, which the parasite somehow wires into the visual cortex. This virus was first unleashed on the unsuspecting Ukrainians, where its effect was plain to see. This historically Russian, majority Russian-speaking, culturally Russian and religiously Russian Orthodox region suddenly erupted in an epidemic of Russophobia. The Ukraine cut economic ties with Russia, sending its economy into a tailspin, and started a war with its eastern regions, which were quite recently part of Russia and wish to become part of Russia again.

So far so good: the American bioengineers who created this virus achieved the effect they wanted, turning a Russian region into an anti-Russian region. But as happens so often with biological agents, it turned out to be hard to keep under control. Its next victims turned out to be NATO and the Pentagon, whose leadership started compulsively uttering the phrase "Russian aggression" in a manner suggestive of Tourette's Syndrome, entirely undeterred by the complete absence of evidence of any such aggression that they could present for objective analysis. They, along with the by now fit-to-be-tied Ukrainians, kept prattling on about "Russian invasion," waving about decades-old pictures of Russian tanks they downloaded from their friends on Facebook.

From there the brain parasite spread to the White House, the Clinton presidential campaign, the Democratic National Committee, and its attendant press corps, who are now all chattering away about "Russian hacking." The few knowledgeable voices who point out that there is absolutely no hard evidence of any such "Russian hacking" are being drowned out by the Bedlam din of the rest.

This, to me, seems like the simplest explanation that fits the facts. But to be fair and balanced, let us also examine the other perspective: that claims of "Russian hacking" should be taken at face value. The first difficulty we encounter is that what is being termed "Russian hacking" is not hacks but leaks. Hacks occur where some unauthorized party breaks into a server and steals data. Leaks occur where an insider-a "whistleblower"-violates rules of secrecy and/or confidentiality in order to release into the public domain evidence of wrongdoing. In this case, evidence of leaking is prima facie: Was the data in question evidence of wrongdoing? Yes. Was it released into the public domain? Yes. Has the identity of said leaker or leakers remained secret? Yes, with good reason.

But this does not rule out hacking, because what a leaker can do, a hacker can also do, although with difficulty. Leakers have it easy: you see evidence of wrongdoing, take umbrage at it, copy it onto a thumb drive, smuggle it off premises, and upload it to Wikileaks through a public wifi hotspot from an old laptop you bought off Craislist and then smashed. But what's a poor hacker to do? You hack into server after server, running the risk of getting caught each time, only to find that the servers contain minutes of public meetings, old press releases, backups of public web sites and-incriminating evidence!-a mother lode of pictures of fluffy kittens playing with yarn downloaded by a secretary afflicted with Toxicoplasma gondii .

The solution, of course, is to create something that's worth hacking, or leaking, but this is a much harder problem. What the Russians had to do, then, was take the incorruptible, squeaky-clean goody-two-shoes faithful public servant Hillary Clinton, infiltrate the Clinton Foundation, Hillary's presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee, and somehow manipulate them all into doing things that, when leaked (or hacked) would reliably turn the electorate against Clinton. Yes Sir, Tovarishch Putin!

Those Russians sure are clever! They managed to turn the DNC into an anti-Bernie Sanders operation, depriving him of electoral votes through a variety of underhanded practices while appealing to anti-Semitic sentiments in certain parts of the country. They managed to manipulate Donna Brazile into handing presidential debate questions to the Clinton campaign. They even managed to convince certain Ukrainian oligarchs and Saudi princes to bestow millions upon the Clinton foundation in exchange for certain future foreign policy concessions. The list of these leak-worthy Russian subterfuges goes on and on But who can stop them?

And so clearly the Russians had to first corrupt the Clinton Foundation, the Clinton Presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee, just in order to render them hackworthy. But here we have a problem. You see, if you can hack into a server, so can everyone else. Suppose you leave your front door unlocked and swinging in the breeze, and long thereafter stuff goes missing. Of course you can blame the neighbor you happen to like least, but then why would anyone believe you? Anybody could have walked through that door and taken your shit. And so it is hard to do anything beyond lobbing empty accusations at Russia as far as hacking is concerned; but the charge of corrupting the incorruptible Hillary Clinton is another matter entirely.

Because here the ultimate Russian achievement was in getting Hillary Clinton to refer to over half of her electorate as "a basket of deplorables," and this was no mean feat. It takes a superpower to orchestrate a political blunder of this magnitude. This she did in front of an LGBT audience in New York. Now, Hillary is no spring chicken when it comes to national politics: she's been through quite a few federal elections, and she has enough experience to know that pissing off over half of your electorate in one fell swoop is not a particularly smart thing to do. Obviously, she was somehow hypnotized into uttering these words no doubt by a hyperintelligent space-based Russian operative.

The Russian covert operation into subverting American democracy started with the Russians sending an agent into the hitherto unexplored hinter regions of America, to see what they are like. Hunched over his desk, Putin whipped out a map of the US and a crayon, and lightly shaded in an area south of the Mason-Dixon line, west of New York and Pennsylvania, and east of the Rockies.

Let me come clean. I have split loyalties. I have spent most of my life hobnobbing with transnational elites on the East Coast, but I have also spent quite a few years working for a very large midwestern agricultural equipment company, and a very large midwestern printing company, so I know the culture of the land quite well. I am sure that what this Russian agent reported back is that the land is thickly settled with white people of Anglo-Irish, Scottish, German and Slavic extraction, that they are macho, that their women (for it is quite a male-centric culture) tend to vote same way as the men for the sake of domestic tranquility, that they don't much like dark-skinned people or gays, and that plenty of them view the East Coast and California as dens of iniquity and corruption, if not modern-day Sodoms and Gomorras.

And what if Vladimir Putin read this report, and issued this order: "Get Clinton to piss them all off." And so it was done: unbeknownst to her, using nefarious means, Hillary was programmed, under hypnosis, to utter the phrase "a basket of deplorables." A Russian operative hiding in the audience of LGBT activists flashed a sign triggering the program in Hillary's overworked brain, and the rest is history. If that's what actually happened, then Putin should be pronounced Special Ops Officer of the Year, while all the other "world leaders" should quietly sneak out the back entrance, sit down on the ground in the garden and eat some dirt, then puke it up into their hands and rub it into their eyes while wailing, because how on earth can they possibly ever hope to beat that?

Or we can just go back to my brain parasite theory. Doesn't it seem a whole lot more sane now? Not only is it much simpler and more believable, but it also has certain predictive merits that the "Russian hacking" theory lacks. You see, when there is parasitism involved, there is rarely just one symptom. Usually, there is a whole cluster of symptoms. And so, just for the sake of comparison, let's look at what has happened to the Ukraine since it was infected with the Ukrainian Brain Parasite, and compare that to what is happening to the US now that the parasite has spread here too.

1. The Ukraine is ruled by an oligarch-Petro Poroshenko, the "candy king"-along with a clique of other oligarchs who have been handed regional governorships and government ministries. And now the US is about to be ruled by an oligarch-Trump, the "casino king"-along with a clique of other oligarchs, from ExxonMobile to Goldman Sachs.

2. The Ukraine has repudiated its trade agreements with Russia, sending its economy into free-fall. And now Trump is promising to repudiate, and perhaps renegotiate, a variety of trade agreements. For a country that has run huge structural trade deficits for decades and pays for them by constantly issuing debt this is not going to be easy or safe.

3. The Ukraine has been subjected to not one but two Color Revolutions, promoted by none other than that odious oligarch George Soros. The US is now facing its own Color Revolution-the Purple Revolution-paid for by that same Soros, with the goal of overturning the results of the presidential election and derailing the inauguration of Donald Trump through a variety of increasingly desperate ploys including paid-for demonstrations, vote recounts and attempts to manipulate the Electoral College.

4. For a couple of years now the Ukraine has been mired in a bloody and futile civil war. To this day the Ukrainian troops (with NATO support) are lobbing missiles into civilian districts in the east of the country, and getting decimated in return. So far, Trump's victory seems to have appeased the "deplorables," but should the Purple Revolution succeed, the US may also see major social unrest, possibly escalating into a civil war.

The Ukrainian Brain Parasite has devastated the Ukraine. It is by now too far gone for much of anything to be done about it. All of the best people have left, mostly for Russia, and all that's left is a rotten, hollow shell. But does it have to end this way for the US? I hope not!

There are, as I see it, two possibilities. One is to view those who are pushing the "Russian hacking" or "Russian aggression" story as political adversaries. Another is to view them as temporarily mentally ill. Yes, their brains are infected with the Ukrainian Brain Parasite, but that just means that their opinions are to be disregarded-until they feel better. And since this particular brain parasite specifically influences social behavior, if we refuse to reward that behavior with positive reinforcement-by acknowledging it-we will suppress its most debilitating symptoms, eventually forcing the parasite to evolve toward a more benign form. As with many infectious diseases, the fight against them starts with improved hygiene-in this case, mental hygiene. And so that is my prescription: when you see someone going on about "Russian hacking" or "Russian aggression" be merciful and charitable toward them as individuals, because they are temporarily incapacitated, but do not acknowledge their mad ranting, and instead try to coax them into learning to control it.

[Dec 17, 2016] Manmade globall warming triggers 55 progressive cars to ruthlessly attack defenseless fuel tanker truck!

www.zerohedge.com
Whoa Dammit King Tut Dec 17, 2016 12:08 PM ABC Baltimore link with full video of "Yo" tanker accident & other trucks piling in / driving through the fire.

http://www.abc2news.com/news/region/baltimore-city/2-dead-in-tanker-cras...

Companies used to pull their trucks off the road, or allow driver discretion to pull over, in bad weather. Not so much any more. Because corporate profits 2 people died. nmewn's picture nmewn King Tut Dec 17, 2016 12:12 PM This just in from Fake Nuuuz Central:

Manmade globall warming "triggers" 55 progressive cars to ruthlessly attack defenseless fuel tanker truck!

Moar as it develops ;-) Troy Ounce's picture Troy Ounce nmewn Dec 17, 2016 12:20 PM

No no no it is called global schwarming.

It is important to cover yourself on both sides: when it is cold and when hot. Never One Roach's picture Never One Roach Troy Ounce Dec 17, 2016 12:22 PM Plane loads of "therapy puppies" are being flown in to help assuage the hurt New England snowflakes that are being "globally warmed" to below freezing.

sudzee's picture sudzee Dec 17, 2016 12:12 PM Putin is responsible for this mess. Quick, time for more sanctions.
Still Losing Money Dec 17, 2016 12:15 PM so did the russians hack global warming?

[Dec 15, 2016] FaKe NeWS FLoW CHaRT

www.zerohedge.com

Courtesy of williambazai7

[Dec 14, 2016] Why has there never been a coup in the US?

discussion.theguardian.com

GuardianFodder -> noteasilyfooled , 13 Dec 2016 18:55

Christmas cracker joke for you;

Q: Why has there never been a coup in the US?

A: Because Washington doesn't have an American embassy....

[Dec 11, 2016] Russia Rigged Election, Killed JFK And Hid Saddams WMDs, Confirms CIA

waterfordwhispersnews.com
craazyboy December 10, 2016 at 10:10 am

hahaha. Tho I think they made a spelling error- s/b Osamaovitch Boris Ladenofsky.

Baby Gerald December 10, 2016 at 10:15 am

Thanks for this– a much-needed Onion-esque satirical dig at the Globe/Post/NYT trifecta of garbage. To base a headline on information gleaned from anonymous sources and unnamed officials in secret meetings with unpublished agendas seems the most dangerous type of fake news there is. The death of irony was greatly exaggerated, if you ask me.

Aumua December 10, 2016 at 2:43 pm

Next up: Russia influenced the Superbowl. You thought the Cubs' actually winning was a little strange? Well, have we got a shocker for you..

[Dec 07, 2016] In view of listing on PropOrNot should

Notable quotes:
"... I was thinking Natasha Fatale .. ..."
"... it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. ..."
"... I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up. ..."
"... Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :) ..."
"... Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ! ..."
Dec 07, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

charles leseau November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am

So are you changing your name to Eva Smithova any time soon? Or maybe change the page header to Голый Капитализм for a bit?

a different chris November 26, 2016 at 10:37 am

Oh, I don't ask for much but please, please consider that! :) :) :)

fresno dan November 26, 2016 at 11:22 am

Re: charles leseau, November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am

I was thinking Natasha Fatale ..

petal November 26, 2016 at 1:02 pm

... Anyway, concerned by number of supposedly educated friends(Clinton supporters) being taken in by this fake news/Russian ties thing. They've lost their heads and there's no discussing it with them, they are convinced. Where does it end? Na zdorovie!

pretzelattack November 26, 2016 at 1:29 pm

it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. somebody referred to invasion of the body snatchers on nc the other day, that's the only logical explanation.

OIFVet November 26, 2016 at 1:31 pm

I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up.

Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :)

ambrit November 26, 2016 at 4:05 pm

Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ!

[Dec 07, 2016] New name for Yves Smith and Naked Capilism -- Eva Smirnova and

Notable quotes:
"... I was thinking Natasha Fatale .. ..."
"... I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up. ..."
"... Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :) ..."
"... Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ! ..."
Dec 07, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

charles leseau November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am

So are you changing your name to Eva Smithova any time soon? Or maybe change the page header to Голый Капитализм for a bit?

a different chris November 26, 2016 at 10:37 am

Oh I don't ask for much but please, please consider that! :) :) :)

fresno dan November 26, 2016 at 11:22 am

Re: charles leseau, November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am

I was thinking Natasha Fatale ..

pretzelattack November 26, 2016 at 11:51 am

i don't think i've ever seen a moose or flying squirrel antidote. this proves the pernicious russian influence.

petal November 26, 2016 at 1:02 pm

It's going to be a surprise and happen when everyone least expects it. Sneak attack by moose and skwirral. Anyway, concerned by number of supposedly educated friends(Clinton supporters) being taken in by this fake news/Russian ties thing. They've lost their heads and there's no discussing it with them, they are convinced. Where does it end? Na zdorovie!

pretzelattack November 26, 2016 at 1:29 pm

it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. somebody referred to invasion of the body snatchers on nc the other day, that's the only logical explanation.

OIFVet November 26, 2016 at 1:31 pm

I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up.

Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :)

ambrit November 26, 2016 at 4:05 pm

Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ!

[Dec 07, 2016] Did anyone notice this?? This is serious as all hell! The U.S. House of Representatives just passed H.R. 6393: Intelligence Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2017 This almost makes it sound like we are at war with Israel!

www.moonofalabama.org

PavewayIV | Dec 3, 2016 2:02:30 PM | 12

Did anyone notice this?? This is serious as all hell! The U.S. House of Representatives just passed H.R. 6393: Intelligence Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2017 This almost makes it sound like we are at war with Israel! Here are some of the more outrageous parts:

Title V - Matters relating to foreign countries

Sec. 501. Committee to counter active measures by the State of Israel to exert covert influence over peoples and governments.

502.Limitation on travel of accredited diplomats and consulars of the State of Israel in the United States from their diplomatic post

    (a)Appropriate committees of Congress defined
    In this section, the term appropriate committees of Congress means-
    1. the congressional intelligence committees;
    2. the Committee on Foreign Relations and the Committee on the Judiciary of the Senate; and
    3. the Committee on Foreign Affairs and the Committee on the Judiciary of the House of Representatives.

    (b)Quarterly limitation on travel distance Accredited diplomatic personnel and consulars of the State of Israel in the United States may not be permitted to travel a distance in excess of 25 miles from their diplomatic post in the United States in a calendar quarter unless, on or before the last day of the preceding calendar quarter, the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation has certified in writing to the appropriate committees of Congress that during the preceding calendar quarter the Bureau did not identify any violations by accredited diplomatic personnel and consulars of the State of Israel of applicable requirements to notify the United States Government in connection with travel by such diplomatic personnel and consulars of a distance in excess of 25 miles from their diplomatic post in the United States.

OK - I lied a little. The text of the bill is as reads above, but I have substituted the text the State of Israel and Israel in place of the original text: the Russian Federation and Russia . You see, some countries are more equal than others. (Apologies to all the U.S. readers that thought "Well, it's about damn time!" )

[Dec 06, 2016] Obama invented a new psychedelic drug: a mixture of Hopium and Ballonium...

[Nov 28, 2016] Nicnames for Us MSM

Nov 28, 2016 | www.zerohedge.com

ABC (Always Boosting Clinton),
* Amazon.con,
* AOL (AllOutLibertards),
* AppleWorms,
* BloombergsGold,
* BuzzardFood,
* CBS (Clinton Butt Sniffers),
* CNN (Clinton News Network),
* Con Street Journal (WSJ),
* CrapNchat,
* DailyBarff,
* ESPeeiNg,
* FacePlant,
* Fox,
* GPG (Goebbels Propaganda Goons),
* GooglesPedophiles,
* HearstsHookers,
* HomeButtOrifice,
* Huffington Hoes,
* MicrosoftCephalics,
* MOREClintonPropaganda,
* MSNBC (MS Nothing But Clinton),
* NBC (Nose up Butt of Clinton),
* NetFlux,
* New Porker Yorker,
* New York SlimeBalls,
* NPR (National-PropagandaRadio),
* PBS (Perverts Broadcast System),
* PEOPLEpedophiles,
* POLITICOpropagandists,
* PRIvateParts,
* ProPORNotPedophiles,
* Redbitch,
* ReutersRooters,
* SnopesNgropes,
* Startrash,
* The AtlanTicks,
* TIMEforClinton,
* Twitcher,
* USA TodayToadies,
* VICEsexCrimes,
* VOXpropagandists,
* Washington ConPostHeap,

[Nov 19, 2016] Syrian child disappointed she won't get to be drone-striked by the first female president by Duffel Blog

Nov 13, 2016 | duffelblog.com

ALEPPO, Syria - In the midst of sectarian violence that has overtaken Syria for more than five years, nine-year-old Asil Kassab is shocked by the defeat of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.

"I am so unhappy that a woman was not elected President," Asil said, briefly ducking as a bomb from an American MQ-1 Predator drone leveled the hospital behind her. "Hillary Clinton is truly a role model for young girls like me. I was so hoping that she'd be the one to order the drone strike that would inevitably end my life."

Despite Clinton's support for regime change in Syria, leading to what is arguably one of the greatest humanitarian crises of the early century, Kassab surprisingly says she holds no ill will.

"I don't put much stock in the misogynist agenda of American politics," said Kassab, who, like many children, cannot remember a time before the war that has killed 400,000 people, including her family, and created over 4.7 million refugees. "People will always criticize her because she is a woman in a man's world; One who has the audacity to run for President."

"It is sexism that motivates her critics, plain and simple," she added. "It is sexism, and racism, that caused her to lose the election!"

... ... ...

[Nov 12, 2016] Voting for Clinton is like eating the fork, and only a complete moron would do that.

Nov 12, 2016 | discussion.theguardian.com
Anya2358 4d ago 17 18 More about Clinton and the Washington establishment than Trump. Just as Brexit was about Wasteminster's Elitists and not the EU. I saw wonderfully funny cartoons sent to me by my American friends, the best one said:

Voting for an independent is like eating a salad, it's the right thing to do, but will it really make much difference. Voting for Trump is like eating a spicy, greasy Burrito, fun at first, but then you have to digest it. Voting for Clinton is like eating the fork, and only a complete moron would do that.

[Nov 12, 2016] What Donald Trumps First Day at the White House Might Look Like

Nov 12, 2016 | russia-insider.com
It is January 20th, 2017. President Donald J. Trump is presiding over his very first meeting with his national security team.

Trump : We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.
CIA : We cannot do that, sir. We created them.
Trump : The Democrats created them.
CIA : We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby.

Trump : Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them.
CIA : We can't do that.
Trump : Why is that?
CIA : India will cut Balochistan out of Pak.
Trump : I don't care.
CIA : India will have peace in Kashmir. They will stop buying our weapons. They will become a superpower. We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.

Trump : But you have to destroy the Taliban.
CIA : Sir, we can't do that. We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check during the 80s. Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their nukes.

Trump : We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East. Let us start with the Saudis.
Pentagon : Sir, we can't do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We can't have democracy there, otherwise their people will get that oil - and we cannot let their people own it.

Trump : Then, let us invade Iran.
Pentagon : We cannot do that either, sir.
Trump : Why not?
CIA : We are talking to them, sir.
Trump : What? Why?
CIA : We want our Stealth Drones back. If we attack them, Russia will obliterate us as they did to our buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check.

Trump : Then let us invade Iraq again.
CIA : Sir, our friends (ISIS) are already occupying 1/3rd of Iraq.
Trump : Why not the whole of Iraq?
CIA : We need the Shi'ite govt of Iraq to keep ISIS in check.

Trump : I am banning Muslims from entering the US.
Homeland Security : We can't do that.
Trump : Why not?
Homeland Security : Then our own population will stop fearing terrorism and be harder to control.

Trump : I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border.
Border patrol : You can't do that, sir.
Trump : Why not?
Border patrol : If they're gone, who will build the wall?

Trump : I am banning H1B visas.
USCIS : You cannot do that.
Trump : Why?
Chief of Staff : If you do so, we'll have to outsource White House operations to Bangalore. Which is in India.

Trump (sweating profusely by now): What the hell should I do as President???
CIA : Enjoy the White House, sir! We'll take care of the rest!

[Nov 12, 2016] Legatus praetor Gaius Anonymus brings forth the news from far away Partian kingdom

Nov 12, 2016 | marknesop.wordpress.com

Lyttenburgh , November 11, 2016 at 4:19 pm

Legatus praetor Gaius Anonymus brings forth the news from far away Partian kingdom:

______________________________________________________________

Incredible events in Parthia

It's only been three days, oh, worthy of Quirites, from the moment that the Epicurean Trumparamp was elected as the new king of Parthia, but one might think that instead the depths of Hades were unleashed upon the world and that an unstoppable stream most incredible monsters poured out of it!

Messengers convey that in the Parthian kingdom reigns mourning, though by no means among all of the subjects – the heart-rending screams and rolling in the dust, while scratching one's face with the nails is popular exclusively among the adherents of the king Abamarak and his chosen Illariya, the priestess of the temple of the Giant Golden Toad – all sorts of Greeks (in both senses of the word), painted buffoons, owners of amphitheatres and Nubians each of whom Illariya promised free distribution of bread and five silver coins from the treasury. It is interesting that here in Rome takes place exactly the same thing –capital dwelling useless loafers and Judean owners of galleries with indecent murals, all wrapped in a black cloaks and shedding fiery tears, realizing that the flow of Parthian gold into their mad undertakings might soon dry up.

What is happening in the Umbria defies any description. The local savages made countless sacrifices to the good deity Peremogiks, daubing it in tasty pig fat and even proclaiming it a kinsman to the Golden Toad. But, as it appears to be, the dreadful witch Gan'ba called forth the black forces and summoned the sinister demon Zradiks, who plunged the Umbrians into utter despair. Witnesses say, that the grieving barbarians gorged themselves on peas, trying to scare Zradiks off with most powerful spell known to Umbria – the blowing of trhe Black Winds – that's why after hearing the news from Parthia the sky over the city Kuyavis was colored with multicolored fire lanes, and some Umbrians as a result flew up to the Moon and do not know now how to return back… And it's not only because the priestess Illariya did not become the queen – they began to realize that rich, but cost-wise Trumparamp, now won't give Umbria even a broken copper, especially after the local leaders slandered him with unspeakable words and even splashed the statue of Trumparamp's genius with pig's dung!

But how did it happen that the priestess of the Giant Golden Toad was denied the throne of Parthia? And it wasn't even due to the story about the clay tablets – Illariya sent secret dispatches using ordinary slave, and not purposely trained guard, making Parthian judges to begin an inquiry of the matter. The last straw was the story of the Greek Pipisyandr, husband of one of the younger priestesses, who assisted Illariya: this Pipisyandr became infamous for his habit of nightly break ins into the houses of Parthian matrons and even innocent girls, whom he revealed his "riches" of questionable value, and also ran away, filling neighborhoods with sinister laughter – all of which, of course, caused considerable outrage. Perhaps this is the first and only time in history when the king's elections were decided by someone's phallus!

The storm that broke out, however, does not abate day after day, and the Quirites in the Forum only shrug never before a new king of Parthia caused this kind of whirlwind, streams of tears and wailing chorus. Let's see what will happen next.

yalensis , November 11, 2016 at 6:13 pm
Gaius Anonymus omits to mention that

(1) Illariya was specifically instructed by KIng Abamarak to enscribe her clay tablets using the secret cypher known as "Caesar's 4-letter shift". And to attach them to the legs of specially trained evasive pigeons. Yet in her arrogance and contempt for her Nubian overlord, she enscribed her instructions in cleartext and sent them in the hands of ordinary house slaves; and
(2) Pipisyandr was even better known for making impressions in clay of his enormous phallus, then sending such impressions to the matrons of Rome, but verify at least he did attach these clay phalluses to the legs of sturdy pigeons, which is what they called "tweeting" or "cooing" the disgusting replicas.

Lyttenburgh , November 11, 2016 at 6:28 pm
Gaius Anonymus most notably omits (although inquisitive quirites remind him in comments beneath this news-scroll) that Illariya and the wife of Pipisyandr might have engaged in the sapphic pleasures of the flesh. This sad fact forced the spurned husband to steal some clay tablets with sensetive data and plant his phallos unto them – without clearing what's been written on these tablets. Thus the general public of Parthia became partial to the most scandalous exposure of secrets of the state.
Jen , November 11, 2016 at 10:11 pm
But has it also not been whispered among patricians and plebeians alike – though few dare breathe the rumour openly – that Illariya's husband also made regular visits to a legendary island of nymphs said to be owned by Galfridus Eburstanius?
yalensis , November 12, 2016 at 4:28 am
And verily the scandal reached into the inner workings of the Vestal Virgin network. Malicious plebeians gossip that Illariya's husband, Bubbus Primus, who disguised himself with cloaked hood, also went under the alias of "Bigus Dickus" as he penetrated into the Vestal sanctum, a holy place where technically males are not allowed.
But those rules are only for plebeians.
Jen , November 11, 2016 at 10:02 pm
Also Gaius Anonymous omits to say that the most senior Parthian judge Iacobus Brianus Comnenus twice declared that the investigations begun against Illariya for her use of personal slaves instead of government messengers to transact government business had no merit, against the wishes of his fellow judges and their clerks, scribes and centurions, that Illariya now blames IBC for her loss in the elections, and that the judges may now be preparing to dethrone IBC himself and to reopen their investigations against Illariya.
Moscow Exile , November 11, 2016 at 10:16 pm
Does Gaius Anonymous think that Illariya may have a secret palace hidden away somewhere on an island, say on Lesbos?
Patient Observer , November 12, 2016 at 8:12 am
Iway uspectsay atthay erethay isway oremay otay isthay orystay
anthay eway ancay imaginway.

[Nov 08, 2016] If Hillary wins it must be a glitch in putins ipad.

Nov 08, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

frosty zoom November 7, 2016 at 2:58 pm

If Hillary wins it must be a glitch in putin's ipad.

RabidGandhi November 7, 2016 at 5:20 pm

He even changed all the clocks Saturday night. Is nothing sacred?

[Nov 03, 2016] And Now For Some Comic Relief by Jonathan V. Last

Nov 03, 2016 | www.weeklystandard.com
Presenting...the Clinton IT Department! This has not been an especially ennobling election. Or a rewarding one. Or even entertaining. Pretty much everything about 2016 has been boorish and grotesque. But finally it is time to laugh.

This has not been an especially ennobling election. Or a rewarding one. Or even entertaining. Pretty much everything about 2016 has been boorish and grotesque. But finally it is time to laugh.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Clinton IT department.

Over the weekend we finally found out how Clinton campaign honcho John Podesta's emails were hacked. But first a couple disclaimers:

1) Yes, it's unpleasant to munch on the fruit of the poisoned tree. But this isn't a court of law and you can't just ignore information that's dragged into the public domain.

2) We're all vulnerable to hackers. Even if you're a security nut who uses VPNs and special email encryption protocols, you can be hacked. The only real security is the anonymity of the herd. Once a hacker targets you, specifically, you're toast.

I'm a pretty tech-savvy guy and if the Chinese decided to hack my emails tonight, you'd have everything I've ever written posted to Wikileaks before the sun was up tomorrow.

But that is … not John Podesta's situation.

What happened was this: On March 19, Podesta got what looked--kind of, sort of--like an email from Google's Gmail team. The email claimed that someone from the Ukraine had tried to hack into Podesta's Gmail account and that he needed to change his password immediately.

This is what's called a "phishing" scam, where hackers send legitimate-looking emails that, when you click on the links inside them, actually take you someplace dangerous. In Podesta's case, there was a link that the email told him to click in order to change his password.

This was not an especially good bit of phishing. Go have a look yourself. The email calls Podesta by his first name. It uses bit.ly as a link shortener. Heck, the subject line is the preposterous "*someone has your password*". Why would Google say "someone has your password?" They wouldn't. They'd say that there had been log-in attempts that failed two-step authentication, maybe. Or that the account had been compromised, perhaps. If you've spent any time using email over the last decade, you know exactly how these account security emails are worded.

And what's more, you know that you never click on the link in the email. If you get a notice from your email provider or your bank or anyone who holds sensitive information of yours saying that your account has been compromised, you leave the email, open your web browser, type in the URL of the website, and then manually open your account information. Again, let me emphasize: You never click on the link in the email!

But what makes this story so priceless isn't that John Podesta got fooled by an fourth-rate phishing scam. After all, he's just the guy who's going to be running Hillary Clinton's administration. What does he know about tech? And Podesta, to his credit, knew what he didn't know: He emailed the Clinton IT help desk and said, Hey, is this email legit?

And the Clinton tech team's response was: Hell yes!

No, really. Here's what they said: One member of the team responded to Podesta by saying "The gmail one is REAL." Another answered by saying "This is a legitimate email. John needs to change his password immediately."

It's like the Clinton IT department is run by 90-year-old grandmothers. I half-expect the next Wikileaks dump to have an email from one Clinton techie to another asking for help setting their VCR clock.

As the other guy likes to say, "only the best people."

[Nov 03, 2016] Bill must feel left out

Notable quotes:
"... Hillary is already surrounded by fbi investigations and a Weiner sex scandal with minors. Bill must feel left out. ..."
Nov 03, 2016 | discussion.theguardian.com
Juillette 26m ago

Hillary is already surrounded by fbi investigations and a Weiner sex scandal with minors. Bill must feel left out.

yianni Juillette 20m ago

Ha ha ha, must be laugh a minute in your trailer.

[Oct 24, 2016] AT T already owned Direct TV and now they want to acquire Time Warner

Oct 24, 2016 | economistsview.typepad.com

pgl : , October 23, 2016 at 03:10 AM

AT&T already owned Direct TV and now they want to acquire Time Warner. This article discusses what this proposed merger means to you:

http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2016/10/22/what-time-warner-t-alliance-means-you/92599580/

A real anti-trust policy would say no to this merger.

Paid Per View -> pgl... , -1

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-10-10

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-10-11

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-10-12

Tom aka Rusty -> pgl... , October 23, 2016 at 05:52 AM
This would be like Satan marrying the wicked witch of the West.

No good can come of this.

[Oct 22, 2016] This is the guy who wants to bring back torture and bomb the children of suspected terrorists

Oct 22, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Oregoncharles October 21, 2016 at 11:10 pm

From the Foreign Policy article on "Donald Trump Can't Undermine Our Democracy" – that we don't have:

" This is the guy who wants to bring back torture and bomb the children of suspected terrorists." You mean, like Bush and Obama, respectively?

[Oct 22, 2016] OBAMA ON OBAMACARE

Oct 22, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

OIFVet October 21, 2016 at 10:22 pm

OBAMA ON OBAMACARE:

"You're getting better quality, even though you don't know that Obamacare is doing it," Obama said.

"Thanks, Obama," he added jokingly…

"So why is there still such a fuss?" Obama said. "Well, part of the problem is the fact that a Democratic president named Barack Obama passed the law."

Yeah, I am sure that's precisely the reason, you miserable piece of narcissistic sh!t.

[Oct 22, 2016] Onion sends questionnaire to candidates

Oct 22, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Carolinian October 21, 2016 at 8:37 pm

Onion sends questionnaire to candidates. Example

3. How will you address the problem of homelessness in this country?

Rebuild the nation's infrastructure to better conceal those living beneath it
Provide them with gainful employment opportunities as ship ballast
Instruct the U.S. Mint to use small coins as vectors for a potent new virus
All of the above

http://www.theonion.com/article/onion-withholding-our-endorsement-president-until–54164

[Oct 22, 2016] Mrs. Clinton won the Democratic nomination fairly easily. Yes, all it took was 20,000 e-mails.

Oct 22, 2016 | economistsview.typepad.com

Benedict@Large : October 21, 2016 at 05:33 PM , 2016 at 05:33 PM

"Strange to say, however, Mrs. Clinton won the Democratic nomination fairly easily, ..."

Yes, all it took was 20,000 e-mails.

Seriously, this guy belongs in the funny farm.

[Oct 21, 2016] Posted without comment cause I am laughing too hard. Russia Offers to Send Election Monitors to US FBI Says No

www.moonofalabama.org

psychohistorian | Oct 20, 2016 11:00:21 PM | 77

Posted without comment cause I am laughing too hard.

http://www.telesurtv.net/english/news/Russia-Offers-to-Send-Election-Monitors-to-US-FBI-Says-No-20161020-0016.html

[Oct 20, 2016] Elections as forced rectal feeding.

www.nakedcapitalism.com

John October 19, 2016 at 10:03 pm

Do the elites really think the American people are going to swallow either one of these criminals as president?

Lee October 19, 2016 at 10:06 pm

It's called forced rectal feeding.

[Oct 20, 2016] I propose a drinking game: a shot of vodka every time Hillary mentions Russia

www.nakedcapitalism.com

Bjornasson October 19, 2016 at 8:52 pm

I propose a drinking game: a shot of vodka every time Hillary mentions Russia. If you want to pace yourself, a shot of vodka every time she talks about Russian aggression in Syria.

HotFlash October 19, 2016 at 9:19 pm

Sounds fine, but what should trigger a shot of Jack Daniels? Or a chug of Bud? Since all groups and income brackets should be able to play.

Bjornasson October 19, 2016 at 9:22 pm

He doesn't seem to be sniffing so much today … so there goes one idea. I think you NEED a shot of Jack Daniels every time Hillary laughs derisively after a Trump answer. As for beer chugs, every time Trump repeats himself within 2 sentences?

HotFlash October 19, 2016 at 9:50 pm

Done! And some peach schnapps if Healthcare is mentioned, by any name (the Healthcare, not the schnapps). I will report back tomorrow, if able.

[Oct 19, 2016] IF DONALD TRUMP ACTED LIKE HILLARY CLINTON...

Oct 19, 2016 | www.youtube.com

YouTube

Published on Oct 16, 2016

As soon as the first batch of Democratic Party emails were leaked in the Summer of 2016, the Blue Team started churning out Cold War propaganda, blaming it all on Russia while ignoring the damning contents of the emails. With each new leak of exposing information, the media hysteria about Russia continues to grow. If Donald Trump were to respond to his criticism like Hillary Clinton does, it might sound something like this... Cheers!

[Oct 14, 2016] If the press is unjust in dismissing these outlandish claims about the emails 'scandal' and Bill's supposed rape 'victims', then why do so many people still choose to consume these

Oct 14, 2016 | www.zerohedge.com
media outlets?
MillionDollarBonus_ ParkAveFlasher Oct 14, 2016 9:19 AM

The press is rightfully ignoring and discrediting ludicrous conspiracy theories! If the press is unjust in dismissing these outlandish claims about the emails 'scandal' and Bill's supposed rape 'victims', then why do so many people still choose to consume these media outlets? Are you accusing the majority of Americans of being gullible and misinformed? That seems like a pretty wild and unfair accusation!

Accredited Book Review – Stronger Together by Hillary Clinton Mr. Universe Occident Mortal Oct 14, 2016 11:54 AM I could laugh at the sarcasm MDB spouts off if it wasn't for the fact that everyday I come into contact with someone who actually believes it. I know to some I appear a bit defeatist, but it comes from the knowledge that around half of our population really IS with Hillary. Nothing you can say will change their minds and they are effectively those who will spy for the state any chance they get. While I still have hope, from where I sit, we are divided beyond repair, and it's all been part of their plan.

[Oct 12, 2016] Wall Street Executive Telling Friend How Amazing It Is To See Clinton Live

www.theonion.com
Telling several members of the investment bank's board of directors how they had to check her out whenever they get a chance, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein was overheard Monday describing to friends how incredible it is to see Hillary Clinton live.

"You can forget any recordings you've heard of Hillary, because they don't even compare to the experience of seeing her in person," said Blankfein, who excitedly recounted the first time he saw the Democratic presidential nominee in a small, intimate venue back in 2013, noting how he was instantly captivated by what he was hearing and found himself nodding along throughout the 90-minute solo performance.

[Oct 12, 2016] Russians halt search for intelligent life in Washington

off-guardian.org
Russian research team which claimed to have detected signs of intelligent life in Washington has now discovered the life there not to be quite so intelligent after all.

A Russian spokesman, who wishes to remain anonymous, told our Moscow science correspondent -who also wishes to remain anonymous- that the Washington atmosphere has been poisoned by huge clouds of putrid hot air belching from the corporate media. He explained that such a hostile environment makes it almost impossible for intelligent life to survive, let alone evolve a sustainable culture. The Russian team believes there may still be small pockets of intelligent life elsewhere on the North American continent but without the necessary conditions they need to thrive they are destined to disappear without trace.

Speaking off the record, the Russian spokesman, who asked us not to disclose his identity, added that hopes of finding intelligent life in London, Paris, Berlin and other Western European locations, where it might be expected to flourish, are fading fast. Though it is believed intelligent life once existed in Occiental Europe, an atmosphere suitable for the maintenance of such life has all but evaporated.

[Sep 24, 2016] Hillary Clinton in painfully awkward 'Between Two Ferns' interview -- 'I really regret doing this' - Washington Times

www.washingtontimes.com

Mr. Galifianakis then briefly interrupted the interview to play a campaign commercial for Mr. Trump, claiming the billionaire businessman was the show's top sponsor. He then wrapped up the exchange by telling Mrs. Clinton the two should stay in touch.

"What's the best way to reach you? Email?" he said.

[Sep 12, 2016] Caught red handed and still deflecting: the DNC is trying to Blame Russia for their own corrupt actions

The real question is whether the email are authentic or not. They are. Neoliberal propaganda honchos just decided to use a smoke screen to conceal this fact using Russia as a bogeyman. Russian might be guilty of many things, but in no way it is responsible for corruption of DNC and this subversive actions/covert operations used for installing Hillary Clinton as a candidate from the Democratic Party. .
Notable quotes:
"... Is it OK to cheat, lie and deceive - as Clintons and DNC did - and then defend themselves by saying that "nobody would know, if it wasn't for those damn Russians"? Even the idea is preposterous: how we find out about this corruption is irrelevant, the point is there was corruption and cheating. ..."
"... So the DNC is trying to Blame Russia for their own corrupt actions. ..."
"... [Under Clintons] democracy has become conspiracy ..."
"... Are you constipated? Blame it on Russia. ..."
"... Oh and blaming Russia for revealing the truth. The truth was not attacked, but who revealed the truth is suddenly the bad guy. So desperate and out of sorts. :) ..."
"... There's no proof, besides an unsourced article in the Washington Post form 'security experts', that Russia had anything to do with this. What we do know is that immediately after the leaks became public various news outlets produced obviously planted hit pieces claiming some kind of collusion between the Trump campaign and Putin, and again with precisely zero evidence as back up. It's gob smacking that the Clinton campaign would risk an international incident with a nuclear power to cover for their shitty behaviour, but then again it's Hillary Clinton so perhaps not. ..."
"... It may indeed be Russian hackers who gained access to the emails which confirm the DNC was all along in the tank for Clinton, and was actively placing a thumb on the scale from day one in the primary process. ..."
"... But the bottom line here is that if the DNC had not so conspired, there would be no emails to leak, now would there? For Mook and others to now be placing blame on the hackers, rather than on those who produced the embarrassing material that the hackers exposed, is diversionary and inexcusable. ..."
"... The funniest thing is, they don't even deny the authenticity of the emails. Basically, DNC says that someone is guilty of revealing the truth. You can hardly stoop any lower. Blaming Russia is just a cherry on the cake. ..."
"... How nice to have an eternal scapegoat: TheRussiansAreComing!TheRussiansAreComing! This will obviously be RodHam's theme as President. Perhaps to the point of annihilation. Neo-Conne! ..."
"... My biggest issue with Hillary from the start has been her continued nonchalance when it comes to matters of national security. She acts as if she is above the need to keep sensitive information safe from potential enemies, both foreign and domestic. That's a pretty scary attitude coming from someone who is likely to be this nation's next leader. ..."
"... It's amazing. Caught red handed and still deflecting. Take responsibility for Christ sak ..."
"... ".....Several of the emails released indicate that the officials, including Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, grew increasingly agitated with Clinton's rival, Bernie Sanders, and his campaign as the primary season advanced, in one instance even floating bringing up Sanders' religion to try and minimize his support. ..."
"... The more interesting part is that this blame is just a distraction from the larger issue, that the entire political system is corrupted and broken. This is just business as usual, only this instance was revealed. ..."
From comments to: Clinton campaign blames Russia for leaked DNC emails about Sanders
trholland1 , 2016-07-24 16:52:36
Methinks the lady doth protest overmuch;
NorthDakotan , 2016-07-24 16:46:50
I honestly can't wait for when the pro-clinron commentors arrive. I can see it now "this doesn't matter if you vote 3rd party you're voting for trump." It won't matter that this is all the fault of the DNC, it will be on us. I'm calling it now ;)
Beckow , 2016-07-24 16:42:09
Is it OK to cheat, lie and deceive - as Clintons and DNC did - and then defend themselves by saying that "nobody would know, if it wasn't for those damn Russians"? Even the idea is preposterous: how we find out about this corruption is irrelevant, the point is there was corruption and cheating.

Interestingly, this is a favorite defense of all authoritarians. They always claim that if it benefits the "enemy", it is ok to suppress it. Stalin had a concept of "objectively aiding the enemy" - it meant that maybe the person was not a conscious traitor, but his/her actions helped the enemy - and that was enough. Is Guardian and Clintons now marching down this road of extreme "us versus them" ideology?

What's is next? Will Clintons ban Bernie from speaking because it would "aid Trump"? (and by extension in their paranoid thinking, it would aid Russia).

calderonparalapaz , 2016-07-24 17:19:02
"Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook said on Sunday that "experts are telling us that Russian state actors broke into the DNC, stole these emails, [and are] releasing these emails for the purpose of helping Donald Trump."

So the DNC is trying to Blame Russia for their own corrupt actions.

Another reason on the list as to why I won't be voting for Hillary. Why did DNC act very anti-democratic?

A vote for Hillary is a vote for continued corruption.

qqqqqqmn , 2016-07-24 17:15:14
[Under Clintons] democracy has become conspiracy
silverbeech , 2016-07-24 17:11:46
Rather than blaming they ought to be taking responsibility for their own words. But they'd have to be adults with integrity to do that. The tragedy and travesty of it is the willful, routine, nonchalant effort to subvert the Constitution and the will of the people. These kinds of machinations have always gone on within both parties and should always be exposed. The SuperPACS, the dark money, the secret maneuverings, the totally broken primary system, all designed to stop our having our say. People elsewhere often wonder about "our" choices for the White House. Now they can see how much of that free choice has been wrested away over time, and how imperative it is that we ordinary people start working on positive change within the elective system. In my opinion all the DNC participants should lose their jobs and be made to cool their heels in jail a while, because without consequences we may as well just burn the Constitution and Bill of Rights right now and be done with it, for all the respect these documents are given by our politicians. What a revolting mess it all is on both sides, with ordinary people the losers, as always.
Lorenzo68 , 2016-07-24 17:10:03
Are you constipated? Blame it on Russia.
farright -> Lorenzo68 , 2016-07-24 17:22:05
Bad haircut? Blame Russia?
Puro , 2016-07-24 17:09:52
Oh and blaming Russia for revealing the truth. The truth was not attacked, but who revealed the truth is suddenly the bad guy. So desperate and out of sorts. :)
furminator -> Puro , 2016-07-24 17:20:53
There's no proof, besides an unsourced article in the Washington Post form 'security experts', that Russia had anything to do with this. What we do know is that immediately after the leaks became public various news outlets produced obviously planted hit pieces claiming some kind of collusion between the Trump campaign and Putin, and again with precisely zero evidence as back up. It's gob smacking that the Clinton campaign would risk an international incident with a nuclear power to cover for their shitty behaviour, but then again it's Hillary Clinton so perhaps not.
JVRTRL , 2016-07-24 17:09:24
A big part of the problem is that Debbie Wasserman Schultz (DWS) is still in her position. If the Democratic Party place a value on performance, she should have been fired after the 2014 mid-terms.

Part of the problem is that the DNC is too closely aligned with the interests of one political family. Competence and other considerations count for a lot less than loyalty. DWS kept her position because of the ties to Clinton and Clintons donors, not because she did a good job and grew the party. The opposite has happened.

Frankly, Obama bears some degree of responsibility for this because he's the one who canned Howard Dean, who actually had a track record of success at winning elections and growing the party through two election cycles. Instead Obama replaced him with a guy like Tim Kaine, who wasn't up to the task either. Dean also did a good job of navigating the very difficult 2008 election. Kaine and DWS did poorly in the capacity as DNC Chair.

As president, Obama has done a lot right. But his neglect of the DNC is part of his legacy, and it isn't a good one.

Lester Smithson , 2016-07-24 17:08:20
That's nice that those damn Russians 'stole' their email. However, those damn Russians didn't write them. I dislike and distrust Hillary and DWS more now that I did a week ago, and that takes some doing. Hillary is Nixon. Paranoid. Dishonest. Devious.
qqqqqqmn , 2016-07-24 17:04:21
how in the name of god can the overly compensated chairwoman of the democratic party conspire against a candidate supported by nearly half of democratic primary voters ???
kcma79 qqqqqqmn , 2016-07-24 17:11:10
Arrogance, power, support, money. Her overpowering arrogance has been a problem for a long time.
mrmetrowest Haigin88 , 2016-07-24 17:13:27
Kaine is in the same boat as Clinton on the TPP - the Good Ship Hypocrite. Both hope like hell that TPP gets passed in the lame duck so they can make a show of being against it to gain some progressive cred. If Obama and his colleagues Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan can't get TPP done before his term ends, Clinton and Kaine's reservations re TPP will disappear faster than a snowflake in July. It's like Clinton's about face on the Keystone pipeline - she got a heads up from Obama that he wasn't going to approve it anyway, so she came out against it.
monteverdi1610 , 2016-07-24 16:57:30
I love the irony of the comment from the Clinton Campaign..... '' This is further evidence the Russian Government is trying to influence the outcome of an election ''.

Heavens forbid that the USA would ever stoop so low as to try and influence the outcome of other Countries elections !!!
It of course being totally above Americians to indulge such devious behaviour .

europeangrayling monteverdi1610 , 2016-07-24 17:06:33
Very true, and Hillary was happy to support the violent Honduras coup of an elected government and still very much supports that new violent regime. And the new regime is very friendly to western big corporate 'interests'. Of course. Hillary is old-school.
beenheretoolong , 2016-07-24 16:54:41
Doesn't matter who did it, the Russians, Anonymous, Edward Snowden. The point is that the DNC is revealed as partisan and rigged. In addition to minimizing her role at the convention, I believe Wasserman Schultz should be dumped from any position of leadership, along with other DNC leaders. No wonder people are fed up with politics as usual.
Anonymot , 2016-07-24 16:57:05
"Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook said on Sunday that "experts are telling us that Russian state actors broke into the DNC, stole these emails, [and are] releasing these emails for the purpose of helping Donald Trump."
And Mook is the expert who whispered that lie in his own ear.

Great photo, Mook the Spook, her lover, a few bigtime aids. They got caught like Nixon's plumbers at Watergate. So they would like to blame the Russians for their writing calumnies and antiSemitic slanders against Sanders. They look pretty stupid!

gunnison , 2016-07-24 16:54:09

Mook said on Sunday that "experts are telling us that Russian state actors broke into the DNC, stole these emails, [and are] releasing these emails for the purpose of helping Donald Trump."

It may indeed be Russian hackers who gained access to the emails which confirm the DNC was all along in the tank for Clinton, and was actively placing a thumb on the scale from day one in the primary process.

Sanders knew it, and we as his supporters also knew it and made reference to that very issue repeatedly in countless comment threads here at the Guardian and elsewhere.

But the bottom line here is that if the DNC had not so conspired, there would be no emails to leak, now would there?
For Mook and others to now be placing blame on the hackers, rather than on those who produced the embarrassing material that the hackers exposed, is diversionary and inexcusable.

The Clinton campaign is moving closer and closer to blowing this election completely and allowing the most dangerous candidacy I've ever seen in my lifetime actually win this thing.

They've already selected a VP pick which effectively thumbs their nose at the very progressives whose enthusiasm they will need at the voting booths, and now here they are trying to deflect blame for unconscionable skullduggery in the primary process onto foreign actors.
Debbie Wassermann Schultz should have been fired long ago, so blatant and obvious were her shenanigans.

This kind of tone-deaf ineptitude could see all of us paying an unimaginable price in November. All it will take at this point is a few more mass shootings (at which we here in the US have a particular talent) to feed into Trump's narrative and we'll all be waking up in January in a country we don't even recognize.

ZombieMessiah -> gunnison , 2016-07-24 17:03:26
That's pretty much how I see things playing out, but with the DNC blaming the progressives for not being enthusiastic enough about Hillary.
Informed17 -> CarlosDaaanger , 2016-07-24 16:57:03
The funniest thing is, they don't even deny the authenticity of the emails. Basically, DNC says that someone is guilty of revealing the truth. You can hardly stoop any lower. Blaming Russia is just a cherry on the cake.
newjerseyboi , 2016-07-24 17:34:38
Just saw Bernie on CNN basically saying the Nr1 priority is to defeat D. Trump, then keep fighting the good fight from within the Democratic Party trying to reform it from within.
A big thing he misses here that the top honcho Mrs Hillary Clinton is one of the main reasons of what the Democratic Party has become. She will be a huge obstruction to anything resembling reform. You might as well pack up and go 3rd party and show the Dems that way what American voters want.

4 years of Trump might actually be a lot better to shake up the corrupt DNC then 4-8 years of Hillary and who knows how many years of Republicans 2 follow (and believe me, Hillary will do a lot of damage to the democratic brand!)

AfinaPallada , 2016-07-24 17:34:20
Clinton is desperate to lurk voters by anything, then let it be those Russians that hacked her mail. A Russian proverb to the point - "A bad dancer always blames his balls that hamper him".
furminator , 2016-07-24 17:31:47
If they'd backed off, allowed their MSM protectors to bury the story, this whole thing would have died down in a week. A few angry Bernie Bros notwithstanding there's nothing in the emails that we didn't know already. Yes the DNC and the Hillary Clinton campaign were one and the same....shock! Yes sections of the corporate owned media are colluding with the Democratic Party....wowsers!! But no, they couldn't help themselves. Now we've got the Democratic nominee for the Presidency alleging, with zero proof, that her opponent is engaged in a conspiracy to commit criminal acts with a foreign power! Seriously who thought this was a good idea?
mijkmijld , 2016-07-24 17:31:26
How nice to have an eternal scapegoat: TheRussiansAreComing!TheRussiansAreComing! This will obviously be RodHam's theme as President. Perhaps to the point of annihilation. Neo-Conne!
smokinbluebear , 2016-07-24 17:31:25
Sanders should demand that Tulsi Gabbard replace DWS at the convention (or as VP)
PottyPants , 2016-07-24 17:31:20
My biggest issue with Hillary from the start has been her continued nonchalance when it comes to matters of national security. She acts as if she is above the need to keep sensitive information safe from potential enemies, both foreign and domestic. That's a pretty scary attitude coming from someone who is likely to be this nation's next leader.
Janosik53 , 2016-07-24 17:29:59
Hillary Wasserman Clinton Kaine--the same democratic corruptocracy; plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Putin is waiting to release Hillary's SoS emails. October Surprise, anyone? Bwah-ha-ha-ha.

BigL64 , 2016-07-24 17:29:20
It's amazing. Caught red handed and still deflecting. Take responsibility for Christ sake!
HenneyAndPizza , 2016-07-24 17:27:56
lol

Putin ate my homework (TM). What Debbie and the gang did is worse, much worse than this sorry article tries to portray. For example, what sort of Democratic Party tries to use Bearnie's religion agsinst him ?!?

".....Several of the emails released indicate that the officials, including Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, grew increasingly agitated with Clinton's rival, Bernie Sanders, and his campaign as the primary season advanced, in one instance even floating bringing up Sanders' religion to try and minimize his support.

****"It might may [sic] no difference, but for KY and WA can we get someone to ask his belief," Brad Marshall, CFO of DNC, wrote in an email on May 5, 2016. "Does he believe in God. He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage.

I read he is an atheist. This could make several points difference with my peeps. My southern baptist peeps woudl draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist."****

"Amy Dacey, CEO of the DNC, subsequently responded "AMEN," according to the email"

Yikes!

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/emails-released-wikileaks-show-dnc-aid-hillary-clinton/story?id=40815253

And this is the "democracy" they keep telling you is the 'better of two evils'.

Hilarious

JelloBeyonce , 2016-07-24 16:53:50
The more interesting part is that this blame is just a distraction from the larger issue, that the entire political system is corrupted and broken. This is just business as usual, only this instance was revealed.

Has anyone here worked, I mean truly worked in the pre-election process, behind the scenes, witnessing the dirty business that is gathering electoral votes during caucuses and primaries? It is a total sham. It is where under-the-table deals are made for promised loyalties to certain candidates, where those that have the most, bribe others to vote a certain way, where quid pro quo rules over democracy or a candidates stance on issues and/or policies. It is where future cabinet positions are secured, based on allegiance to party hierarchy and strong-arming. Your vote means nothing, only a small select group determines candidates, and ultimately the president.

DNC Chair Wasserman is just one cog in a massive political machine, one run rampantly out of control. And this happens on both sides, among both parties. It is where the personal selfish love of money, power, and fame outstrip the will of the people.

Long live hackers for keeping a check on an obviously corrupted system. The mainstream media isn't doing their jobs anymore, someone has to. The media have merely become the pretorian band for the super class, those elite that truly control this country from behind the scenes, pulling the puppet strings attached to the soulless politicians.

We are again presented with two candidates whom have each proven their desire to negate the will of the nation, for purely selfish reasons. Neither is truly qualified for this office.

"There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to trust no [hu]man living with the power to endanger the public liberty".
-John Adams-

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become more corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters"
-Ben Franklin-

[Sep 09, 2016] What if illary appoints Victoria Nuland Secretary of State

Jul 08, 2016 | theintercept.com

Erelis -> RootieKazootie, June 8 2016, 3:27 p.m.

Worse yet, if Hillary appoints Victoria Nuland Secretary of State. The effect will be like turning on Skynet.
Doug Salzmann -> Erelis, June 8 2016, 4:00 p.m.

But we might get cookies.

elwood, June 8 2016, 12:49 p.m.

Now Clinton can put together her ticket.
She's tapping Martin Shkreli as her VP, and they're calling it the Super Predator ticket.

[Sep 09, 2016] Imagine the SNL parody of Bubba meeting Lynch

Jul 01, 2016 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Michael Hudson July 1, 2016 at 3:52 pm

Imagine the SNL parody of Bubba meeting Lynch.

Lynch: How is your granddaughter Chelsea?
Bubba: She's fine. How are your grandkids?
Lynch: They're doing great too.
Bubba: Too bad if anything were to happen to them …

[Sep 09, 2016] Funny I always thought of the anti-Christ as a man

Jul 29, 2016 | www.truthdig.com

Michael Valentine 41 minutes ago

I understand she said something about being a steady hand at the time of reckoning. Funny always thought of the anti Christ would be a man. Does this make me sexist?

[Aug 28, 2016] People really want to see Donald and Hillary on Dancing With The Stars.

www.moonofalabama.org
dh | Aug 26, 2016 1:48:16 PM | 27
There's a whole new demographic out there raised on twitter and potty jokes. What they really want is to see Donald and Hillary on Dancing With The Stars.

[Aug 27, 2016] Artists Impression Of Hillary Clintons Old Office

Notable quotes:
"... Source: MichaelPRamirez.com ..."
www.zerohedge.com

Presented with no comment...

Source: MichaelPRamirez.com

Here2Go d nmewn •Aug 27, 2016 8:37 PM
Is that Huma in a blue dress under the Resolute desk?
Pairadimes d Here2Go •Aug 27, 2016 9:14 PM
Ramirez is a genius.
zeronetwork d debtor of last resort •Aug 27, 2016 8:15 PM

The thought process Donald has started is not going to fade very soon. Still few weeks before election. I am sure Donald got some more cards in his sleeve.
are we there yet •Aug 27, 2016 8:36 PM
I have a solution for Hillary's in-continuance and mobility declining problems. The chair behind the presidents desk should be a wheelchair with a bedpan. Otherwise the term 'campaign trail' will take on a whole new meaning.

[Aug 27, 2016] Mental deficiency in action: Vladimir Putin is the grand-godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism. , said Hillary Clinton while standing in front of a gigantic American Flag, without a trace of Irony detectable in her voice

"Hillary Clinton is completely devoid of any sense of irony or humour. She's a complete emotional and, I would add, intellectual dud."
Notable quotes:
"... Hillary Clinton is completely devoid of any sense of irony or humour. She's a complete emotional and, I would add, intellectual dud. ..."
www.moonofalabama.org

Shillary | Aug 26, 2016 5:22:34 PM | 50

Lol PRAVDA

During a campaign rally in Nevada, US presidential candidate Hillary Clinton spoke about the dangers of right-wing forces in power, as well as about problems of racism.

"Clinton noted that her rival Donald Trump supported the policies of Russian President Vladimir Putin. As for relations with Russia, the views of Donald Trump come contrary to the views of all American presidents, from "Truman to Reagan."

"He talks casually of abandoning our NATO allies, recognizing Russia's annexation of Crimea, giving the Kremlin a free hand in eastern Europe. American presidents from Truman, to Reagan, to Bush, to Clinton, to Obama have rejected the kind of approach Trump is taking on Russia. And we should, too," Clinton said.

"Vladimir Putin is the grand-godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism.", Hillary Clinton said", (while standing in front of a gigantic American Flag, without a trace of Irony detectable in her voice)

Hoarsewhisperer | Aug 27, 2016 2:55:01 AM | 71
...
"Vladimir Putin is the grand-godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism.", Hillary Clinton said, (while standing in front of a gigantic American Flag, without a trace of Irony detectable in her voice).
Posted by: Shillary | Aug 26, 2016 5:22:34 PM | 50

Yep. Dangerously stupid. Superficial and self-absorbed Hollywoodishness; the polar opposite of self-aware.

Quentin | Aug 27, 2016 6:32:49 AM | 78

Shillary @50 -- Hillary Clinton is completely devoid of any sense of irony or humour. She's a complete emotional and, I would add, intellectual dud. She seems to be a good lawyer, though --- in the US lawyers as far as the eye can see.

[Aug 27, 2016] "Oh, so you don't have soul either?!

Hillary has also stated publicly that "Putin has no soul" (to which Putin replied "at least I have a brain):

[Aug 25, 2016] Hillary Clintons Liberal Elite Summer Tour,

Notable quotes:
"... "Please use caution in opening the overhead bins, as Hillary's baggage may have shifted during flight," the "flight attendant" says as the ad ends. ..."
Aug 25, 2016 | angrybearblog.com

The 19-second video, titled "Hillary Clinton's Liberal Elite Summer Tour," begins with an image of an airplane bearing Clinton's logo. A voiceover resembling an announcement from a flight attendant names some of the stops on Clinton's schedule, including Los Angeles, Beverly Hills and Martha's Vineyard.

"Please use caution in opening the overhead bins, as Hillary's baggage may have shifted during flight," the "flight attendant" says as the ad ends.

Clinton spent her weekend on Martha's Vineyard and held a fundraiser in Nantucket. On Tuesday, Clinton is headlining a $33,400-per-guest event being hosted by Justin Timberlake and his wife, actress Jessica Biel.

"Hillary Clinton claims she's running to be a champion for 'everyday Americans,' but her busy week of fundraisers with her friends in the wealthy liberal elite show who she's really fighting for," RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said in a statement. "Rather than visit flood-ravaged Louisiana or end her more than 250-day streak without a press conference, she's taking her private jet from coast to coast raking in piles of campaign cash to fund her status quo campaign.

"Donald Trump is the candidate of true change in this election, and he is leading a grassroots movement to put an end to business as usual in Washington and make a difference in the lives of all Americans."

New RNC ad attacks Clinton's fundraisers , Rebecca Morin, Politico, yesterday

[Aug 14, 2016] The African Plant

www.counterpunch.org

A recent NBC news poll shows that 72 percent of registered Republicans still aren't sure whether Barack Obama was born in the United States. It wasn't clear from the poll data how many Republicans consider Hawai'i part of the US. Let's cut them a break and assume that most of them recognize the legitimacy of the Islands of Aloha.

I'm a little sympathetic to their theory. In fact, I'm "all in" for a US President who was secretly born on the African continent. But don't you think the Kenyans could have come up with a better plant than Obama?

[Aug 12, 2016] Meet the 'Hookers for Hillary'

I wonder for how many of them Slick Willie was a patron ;-).
Notable quotes:
"... According to the National Task Force on Prostitution , it's estimated that well over 1 million people in the U.S. have worked as prostitutes - or roughly 1 percent of American women. If this campaign is a success, that could translate into some serious voting power. ..."
The Daily Beast


"Everyday Americans need a champion," Hillary Clinton proclaimed in her YouTube video. "And I want to be that champion."

Yes, few were surprised when Hilary Clinton announced her campaign for the 2016 U.S. presidential race, but many were surprised by some of her early supporters. Since that announcement, the lovable ladies of Nevada's renowned Moonlite Bunny Ranch have come out in support of our former first lady in a serious, potentially large-scale campaign called "Hookers for Hillary." These Everyday Americans have chosen their candidate.

... ... ...

Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof agrees. "With Obamacare the girls were able to buy good health insurance and without it they weren't able to. Since Day One when I bought the brothel in 1992 no legal prostitute could get health insurance," says Hof.

According to the National Task Force on Prostitution, it's estimated that well over 1 million people in the U.S. have worked as prostitutes - or roughly 1 percent of American women. If this campaign is a success, that could translate into some serious voting power.

[Aug 01, 2016] Hillary Clinton Gives Honest Speech To Goldman Sachs, Stuns Audience Into Silence

Warning: Satire!
www.trueactivist.com
The following is a leaked transcript of Hillary Clinton's first speech to Goldman Sachs delivered on 6/04/2013. Two other speeches are also rumored to be in circulation awaiting publication. This is the full transcript. Secretary Clinton received $225,000 for this speech. The speech has not been confirmed or authenticated.

CLINTON: Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you very much, Lloyd [Blankfein], and thanks to everyone at Goldman Sachs for welcoming me today. I'm delighted to be back among friends, colleagues, collaborators, supporters, kindred spirits…

Let me jump right in. You know, over the past few months, there have been popular concerns about an economy that still isn't delivering for the majority of Americans. It's not "delivering" the way that they feel it should, that they feel entitled to. Most Americans that you speak to, speak a populist rhetoric that claims it is stacked for those at the top, that those of you here have it too good.

(Laughter)

But we know the hopes that the little people have for their future - things like school, job, food, clothing on their backs– all of those little things would not be possible without your leadership and innovation. Since the time of the Medicis, even before, and the financing of the first joint stock companies in the transatlantic slave trade, we know that finance and banking is what makes our capitalist economy not just grow but tick…

Previous generations of Americans built this economy and a middle class on a collective illusion: that they do productive work, this creates wealth, and that this builds the economy. We all know how misguided that is. We know that it's really due to your investing, credit, and economic stewardship, that they have been able to work at all, that they are able to put food on their tables. It's due to you and other banking, trading, investment houses that we have an economy that works at all. You are why we are a truly 21st century economic power.

(Applause)

You, Lloyd, and your colleagues, have been instrumental in that. People say you are overpaid or even parasitic, parasites on the economic body, and they quote a long line of seemingly "unethical behavior". They equate with you everything that is wrong and immoral with Capitalism, they charge that you have acted ruthlessly and unethically, "rigging every major market bubble since the Great Depression".

(Hissing)

But I-contrary to populist, hysterical demonizing–firmly believe that what you do is essential and critical: you help allocate our investment, direct our economic development, hedge risks, and create power, policies, and alliances in ways that make our country stronger, richer, more powerful, more innovative, competitive, and yes, more "democratic". You underwrite our elections and our political process-taking on the huge cost of enabling democratic dialogue at its biggest, broadest capacity. Your tireless work adds true value, and without you, we would still be struggling helplessly against industrial powerhouses in Asia and across the world trying to compete with them on the level of industry, technology, innovation, and hard work, at which they would beat us hands down. It's your financial innovation, your speculative tools, which allow us new ways of creating value without sweat or struggle, that gives us the competitive advantage. It's this vision, this technological innovation, this financial wizardry, this is what makes America great and powerful.

(Applause)

For decades, people have argued that if we give more wealth to those at top by cutting taxes and letting you and other corporations write the own rules, it will trickle down, it will trickle down to everyone else. And it has! My speech here is an example!

(Cackles, Waves Check)

(Laughter).

But seriously, I believe that the work of Goldman Sachs is critical for us, and without you, America would be a faint shadow of its current greatness. Your work in innovating finance, in creating new sources of wealth and investment, your tireless efforts stimulating the creation of new financial instruments, in lobbying politicians, in monopolizing the treasury and cabinet, in setting and binding the parameters of financial regulation that allows fluidity and flexibility in investment and speculation, this allows us to create wealth-almost out of thin air. It's this alchemy, this genius, this Midas touch-which is one of the most under-appreciated and under-acknowledged contributions in modern economic history.

(Applause)

It's fair to say that you have transformed the solid, clunky, friction-laiden trading of traditional commodity speculation into responsive, intelligent, liquid flows, that have vaporized every barrier and transformed into an expansive, responsive, endlessly expanding gas that fills every atom of our productive economic space that generates immeasurable value everywhere it goes, and everything it touches. Who cares that it's a little chaotic or "unethical"? That it seems tied to every financial scandal and crisis and economic catastrophe in history? Not me. "Creative Destruction" is all part of the game, and you are masters of it.

(Applause)

Some will say that you are simply parasitic on those who labor at menial physical production-these are people who still subscribe to 18 Century notions of value production–and that you skim off profit without doing anything meaningful or of value. Those people are misguided: we know that if money never sleeps, that's because you keep it awake! You have-if I may use a metaphor–injected money with caffeine, Adderal, crack, meth, with LSD so that it can dance the crazy dance and grow a crazy thousand psychedelic feet tall in a rainbow minute! Money was a lazy b*tch, until you put it to work! And look how it works! Look how it grows! Materializes out of nowhere!

(Waves check again, dances, cackles).

Some people have said that it was your irresponsible financial engineering, risk-taking, and profit-seeking, that led to the 2008 crash; that you shorted your own toxic mortgages in the most brazen securities fraud in financial history, dynamiting and imploding the global economy; and that the exorbitant bonuses paid from tax payer money, the financial bailouts, the non-prosecutions created moral hazard, rewarded avarice, incompetence, corruption and vice. You and I know it is nothing of the sort. As leaders, innovators, captains of finance, you will always be subject of the jealous resentment, the petty tantrums of the unwashed masses, the insolvent, the irresponsible, the invidious, the losers. They will envy you, your successes, they will despise you, but they secretly want to be like you!

(Laughter)

As you know, my husband tried very hard to change the culture of this misbegotten underclass, by kicking them off the government teat, by poisoning their milk with harsh, bitter regulation, and by disciplining them with the most arbitrary, racist, punitive, devastating criminal laws in US history, laws which Richard Nixon, the Southern strategists, the slave catchers, could only have dreamed of. He also passed NAFTA, which told them in no uncertain terms that they needed to discipline themselves as workers, and learn to be competitive in the global sweatshop, or face certain extinction. But they have not learned their lesson.

(Hissing)

The effects prove themself. Under President Clinton - I like the sound of that!- America saw the longest, most prodigious reaming of the undesirable classes in our history, putting them firmly in their places. And they loved it! He felt their pain! And relished it! Because he was inflicting it!

(Applause)

And I will too!

(Applause)

Now today - today, another capitalist crisis looms, bigger and more dangerous than 2008, and again we hear sentimental cries for populist reform. I believe we have to stave off these demands to reform the banking and the financial system, and restructure the economy more equitably. You can't build an economy without the smart people-the Titans and Gods of Finance-like you–to direct the economy, and for the smart people to do their work, you need to be rewarded for your efforts, and you need a free hand to exercise your brilliance.

(Applause)

Books like "The Spirit Level" and organizations working for equality, certain politicians, spew a ridiculous myth of populism and the benefits of equality. But the fact is, we can't create profitable businesses without exploitation, and we can't grow the economy without speculation and inequality, and we certainly can't boost our economy into the stratosphere without allowing you to exercise your amazing financial intelligence and acumen in fiscal number-crunching, speculation, numbers-running and fraud!

(Applause)

Just think of this: can you imagine a football game without gambling? It would be dull, mind-numbing-who would watch steroid-addled jocks rut and slam into each other mindlessly without having put down money on the outcome? Who would pay the huge salaries for these vapid idiots? It's only because you have bet on the outcome that people become excited about the sport: it becomes life-and-death-thrilling! It becomes paint-your-face-get-shit-faced exciting! Act-stupid-exciting! That's what you do: you add excitement, thrill, value, and enthusiasm to the dull, dirty job of growing the economy, you make the game exciting, sexy, which draws more money into the game, the casino, that expands the excitement, grows the customer base, develops the economy, and that's priceless! You speculate, stimulate, titillate, dynamize, satyriasize the entire economy! I am such a fan! Go Goldman Sachs!

(Does little cheerleading number, complete with hand gestures)

Gooold-Maaan-Sachs!

(Applause)

Let's tell the truth: America is struggling-despite the endless fabrication about "the recovery"– because we are not yet running the way we should. Banks are still over regulated. It's over-regulation that creates financial catastrophe! Despite your huge paychecks and squirreled away assets, I know that you are worried: worried that some "socialist" demagogue might come along and confiscate it all and put you all in jail. With president Obama, you were in good hands: he's one of us. (Good thing you ponied up $981K for his campaign). He took good care of you, had your back, covered your financial rear. But populist sentiment is rising up again, more strongly than before, and the unwashed masses are full of resentment, anger, jealousy. They are angry that they don't have jobs, that they are in debt, that they can't scrape a living together, even though they are working, 2,3,4 jobs to put shelter over their heads. That their children are starving. That they cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel. They are angry about the 100 million people driven into the brink of starvation and the global food riots that they claim you caused with your commodity futures speculation. The $5Trillion of value lost from the markets that they claim you collapsed. The millions who lost their homes and are now on the verge of homelessness. The trillions funneled to you in loans, write-offs, bribes to keep the system going. Even when I was working for Barry (Goldwater), I felt that same irrational resentment. Now it's at an all time high. Irresponsible single mothers, uneducated immigrants, lead-drinking ghetto-strutters, homeless, crying, babies, starving senior citizens, obnoxious, entitled African Americans who object to having bullets pumped into their bodies by police: all these people are angry, entitled, and making noise, and they are endangering our democracy and economy, our greatness.

(Hissing)

I hear this everywhere I go. A single mother, with three children-wants to go to college, find enjoyable, well-paid work and also enjoy the emotional luxuries of motherhood-all at the same time. Everyone feels entitled to everything. She even wants housing. Now even I couldn't do all these things, despite my incredible privilege and intelligence. But they want it all, now. Three children?

(Booing)

A grandmother, playing with children-it makes her happy like a cow, but she still feels entitled to be paid. Because she wants to feed her drug habit, she wants to sell them for more money….she wants it all!

(Booing)

A student, with an unmarketable degree in women's studies, specializing in medieval feminist villanelles, wants debt forgiveness, and a high-paid job putting her non-existent skills analyzing romance language texts to use and profit in a rewarding cause. She also wants a pony, a sensitive but dominant lover, a villa on the Riviera, and World Peace!

(Cackles).

(Laughter)

Millions of working sad-sack Americans have similar fantasies. They want more money. More pay. Decent wages for hard work. They think it grows on trees. They think that money will grow and nuzzle up to them in their sleep, when they have no money-appeal. They think they can tax Other People's Money to get what they want. They don't realize Money has to be jacked up the ass, stuck in the veins with meth, dragged out and pimped to make more! You have figured out how to make your money work, turned it into a profit-generating prostitute! The future expected earnings of a profit-generating prostitute! That you've shorted! These people, idiots, all of them, they expect money to come to them! Without Scheming! Without reaming others! By working hard and being good! Like puppies and ponies! Like flowers after a downpour! Like the lilies of the valley! Like utopian visions of a drug-addled socialist!

(Laughter)

Wages need to be kept down, and people just need to work harder. Damn harder. At least as hard as Bill worked to keep Haiti down.

(Applause)

We must lower incomes for low-value working schmucks, so they give up on any notions of a middle-class life. But more than that, we must reduce the slick, unsustainable bigotry of expectation: the profit-sucking cage of entitlement, expectation, and imagination. We must drive income down steadily and siphon that surplus wealth to you, the captains of finance, so that we can build a strong economy that is innovative, powerful, that acknowledges and rewards your acumen…

(Applause)

And that will be my mission, from the first day I am president to the last. I…

(Applause)

I will get up every day thinking about you, the hard-working Wizards of Finance, Lords of Capital, Economic Giants of Innovation, Noble Titans that make us strong and powerful!

(Applause)

I came from a petit-bourgeois family with a drapery business that exploited workers to give me good middle-class life, a first-class education, and my incorrigibly elitist beliefs. It put me on third base, instead of striking out. As I try to steal home, I will be thinking about all the Wall Street bankers that I represented in New York and the "advice" that they gave me, and I will work with them-for you– to give them the maximum freedom to do what's best for them. Because what's best for Wall Street is what's best for the US. What's best for Goldman Sachs is what's best for the planet. I promise to take on this challenge against the clamoring, whining, agitating babies demanding for major changes in our economy and the global economy, demanding for equity and justice. These demands are stupid beyond belief.

(Laughter)

As you know, advances in financial technology and global trade have created new areas of commercial activity and opened new markets for our exports. Too often policy wonks want to resort to protectionist measures because they don't realize that these treaties are designed to suck wealth out of the third world and suck it into your portfolios. These people suffer from a lack of big-picture thinking. They believe that they are still going to be building widgets in a factory if it were not for the 1 billion Chinese stealing their jobs. They don't understand that we are sucking the lifeblood out of both of the Chinese and all workers-the vampire squid with the blood funnel-creating value, wealth, growth!

(Cackles)

Today's marketplace focuses on the short-term, instantaneous financial trading, and short-term earnings reports, and that's just how it should be. Those who are struggling need to rent out their living rooms, garages, bathrooms, dog houses, sell trinkets on EBay, sell themselves, their time and their bodies in the gig economy. All of this creates exciting, dynamic extra wealth, which should go to you, the geniuses of the universe, because you are the ones driving this with your investments, speculations, deregulation, policy capture, and of course outright bribes. There's no problem that a little more liberalization and deregulation can't make better!

(Takes out check and cackles)

[Aug 01, 2016] When Snowden first fled the country in 2013, Clinton stated that she could never condone what he did.

www.trueactivist.com

She said the former NSA employee was a "Traitor" who had "blood on his hands," reports DailyCaller.

Again, intriguing, considering that the war criminal is to blame for destabilizing Haiti and making Libya a failed state – among other unsavory accomplishments

[Aug 01, 2016] American Horror Story - Welcome to the Scream Room

Medium

This week it's the Democrats, with their tired-looking cast-members repeating lines that sounded hokey the first time in between guest appearances by beloved celebrities all hoping the networks won't cancel. They've got the script and they've got the stars, but they're still trying to find the right narrative arc, because the American public's disbelief is rapidly losing suspension. This is not politics, not as I know it at home. This is something else. This is pantomime.

There is a certain look that I've been sharing with other visiting foreign journalists this week and it is just that - a look, sometimes with the hands spread in a horrified half shrug, because sometimes there are just no words, even when there have to be, you know, because that's how we make rent.

How to possibly express the choreographed insanity of this brassy, breadless circus? How are we meant to actually communicate like human beings when we are trapped here, sweating on the floor of the dream factory as they hand out buttons and baseball caps plastered with empty slogans? It reminds me, more than anything else, of a music festival, down to the overpriced snacks, the complicated entry system, the constant impression that the weather is trying to kill you, and the way that normal rules are suspended as we pretend, briefly, that another world is possible. Specifically, world where the political process is simple and unsaleable, and strong leaders can change things for the better. A world where hope is feasible and our votes matter and we all go, as Philip Larkin once said, down the long slide to happiness, endlessly.

... ... ...

This is not practical politics. This is pure pageantry, pure mythmaking in a nation that has always survived by singing a song of itself. A nation of three hundred million souls and half a billion guns torn apart by violence and uncertainty, held together by pomp and circumstance and precious little else. What is on show at the conventions is very different from the politics that exist, day to day, month to month, as a material force in people's material lives. The conventions are a bubble universe where we all, press and public and PR people and random rain-soaked flunkies, try to float on suspension-strings of disbelief. We know we're being lied to. Those complaining about the lies have missed the point.

... ... ...

Here's the story the Democrats are selling. They cannot persuade America, or the world, that liberalism is plausible, that change will come in a way that makes a meaningful difference to millions of lives; what they are offering, in practical terms, is the vestige of democracy against the certainty of dictatorship. They are offering things not getting quite so much worse quite so fast. That's a hard sell.

[Aug 01, 2016] Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am

Medium

What the fuck is your problem, America??

I'm Hillary goddamn Clinton. I'm a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane network of powerful friends. I'm willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so I can fix this fucking country for you. And all you little bitches need to do is get off your asses one goddamn day in November.

"Oh but what about your eeeemaaaaillls???" Shut the fuck up. Seriously, shut the fuck up and listen for one fucking second...

But you know what? I don't fucking care. If I gave two shits about the haters I would've dropped the game decades ago.

[Jul 29, 2016] What the fuck is your problem, America

www.truthdig.com

A Hillary Clinton parody account on Medium wrote what the real Hillary Clinton has wanted to say for a long time in an article titled "Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am." Here's a sample:

What the fuck is your problem, America??

I'm Hillary goddamn Clinton. I'm a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane network of powerful friends. I'm willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so I can fix this fucking country for you. And all you little bitches need to do is get off your asses one goddamn day in November.

"Oh but what about your eeeemaaaaillls???" Shut the fuck up. Seriously, shut the fuck up and listen for one fucking second.

Here's all you need to know about me:

1. In 1992, I said I was proud to have followed my career instead of baking cookies.

2. The GOP fucking dragged me for it. They made me bake cookies. They're scared of me.

3. Every time I have a job, y'all love me. Every time I run for anything, the GOP breaks out the big guns again and fucks me up good. And apparently it fucking works.

But you know what? I don't fucking care. If I gave two shits about the haters I would've dropped the game decades ago.

[Jul 28, 2016] Russians take performance enhancing drugs: Americans dont!!!

marknesop.wordpress.com
Moscow Exile , July 26, 2016 at 9:17 am

Russians take performance enhancing drugs: Americans don't!!!

[Jul 28, 2016] Gloomy morning or problems with organizing the second color revolution in Russia

Pretty biting satire, if you ask me...
Jun 17, 2015 | mikle1.livejournal.com
For the US Ambassador to Russia John Tefft it was real pain to wake up this morning. A horrible headache, dry mouse and feeling like a herd of frightened wild Mustangs run over him...

He suddenly remembered that the last evening everything looked so well: after coming home from the Bolshoi theater, he drank just four shots of whiskey, looked for a while out his window on evening Moscow streets, and then went to bed with a sense of duty well performed.

However, at 2 a.m. Tefft was awakened by a phone call on closed government line. It was Secretary of State John Kerry, who unfortunately managed to broke his leg a few days before while skiing, and now was forced to pay more attention to his regular duties. In the way he greeted him John instantly recognized a hidden mocking , beneath which was hidden the real irritation. Which happened recently more and more often...

-- Listen Tefft, are you feeling all right to be Moscow?, and Tefft immediately felt in the voice of his boss signs of a real storm.

"I think," Kerry decided to answered the question himself, " that you feel bad, if not very bad... As I was told that you've gained as much as two kilograms in three months..."

Tefft realized that he has just two options: either to answer these rhetorical questions, or continue to listen and hope to wait out this storm. The Ambassador chose the latter.

Meanwhile Kerry continued:

-- I get the impression that you became a complete slacker. Look at Jeffrey Payette in Ukraine. That's an example of a real diplomat. And unlike you he did managed to organized a coup d'état the last year? Beautiful job ! And then pushed for civil war in Eastern Ukraine. Can you match any of those achievements Tefft? Of course, I understand that prior to 2013, it was you, who prepared the ground for all this in Ukraine, but it was Jeffrey who got real results

Tefft continued to be humbly silent, and Kerry became even hotter:

-- BTW do you remember that you main task was to organize mass protests in Russia and unite the opposition movement under strong leaders, which can assume the power. That's why we send you to this country. Where are the results, I ask you? Where is the democratization of Russia? Why you just wasting money of American taxpayers? Why there are zero result so far, I ask you ?

When we realize that it's really difficult to stage mass protests in Moscow, you were instructed to organize the triumphal sequence of mass protests in other major cities of Russia. Money were allocated accordingly. And what came of it? What did you achieve so far?

Tefft attempted to insert a word in the speech of the Secretary of State:

-- Look, John, everything work according to plan, all allocated funds are already transferred to our recipients and supporters...

-- You are joking , -- immediately interrupted Kerry -- I understand that they got money. But it looks like that was it... For example important for us "Lustration" movement died out on the wine completely.

After that Tefft heard some strange sounds in the tube probably belonging to a woman. He assumed that it was iether Hillary or Victoria Nuland, who entered the room.

-- And what about complete fiasco with he visit of Kasyanov to Novosibirsk? -- it was clear that Kerry suddenly became more vicious -- "You should probably know that we paid for at least ten thousands of opponents of the current Russian regime to meet him. Where were they?

-- And Kasyanov himself... Oh my God ! Even by his appearance it's clear that he had it enough, and the only thing he wants is to return to Moscow. Were was his fighting sprit for which we pay so much money? And what nonsense was he was blabbing? He was giver the script. Can he read? Why his only praise Novosibirsk was like: "The roads here are just as bad. And the faces in residents are even more sullen then in Moscow..."? And this man wants people to vote for him, right ? He came, he was kicked in the teeth and he left without a fight... A great leader of protest movement, nothing to say... Why he did not speak about brilliant perspectives of Russia in case of victory of the RPR - Parnas? After all Ukrainians did believed that they will have a bright future together with the EU and NATO? Do you think they are much dumber then Siberians? And why he begin to complain about the rake, which somebody threw under his car back in 2008 and pretend that this was an attempt on his life. He was in the armored car, this idiot!

-- Enough is enough.. Tell Kasyanov to get another round of training ASAP and he should never deviate from the taking points we wrote for him.. Now the principle of cooperation changes to: first results - then money. No results, no money. Please convey this message to him.

-- and similar blunder with Alexei Navalny visit to Novosibirsk? We agreed and discussed that after eggs stones will be used to hit him. Were all those pre-paid stones disappeared? What happened? Why only eggs were used? Where are the stones, Tefft? I ask you again, where are all the prepaid stones? Where are bruises and injuries on our hero? How we can present him as the victim of a brutal regime without any injuries? How we can organize the outrage of the world community with just eggs. This your blunder undermines our efforts in further tightening of sanctions against Russia...

-- John, -- timidly dared to say Tefft, -- everything was organized perfectly well. The only problem was too heavy traffic and traffic jams in Novosibirsk. It was due to jams our guys did not get stones in time...

-- Yes, but they got the money in time, right John? - sarcastically remarked Kerry, So please shut up and just listen...

-- If you decided to promote Russian democratic opposition in Siberia then perform this competently and effectively as you obviously can. Like you did in Western Ukraine, after all. And if you are unable even to provide normal numbers of protesters, please at least submit fake photos with thousands of Novosibirsk residents in the queue willing to vote for the opposition... Or I need to explain to you how this is done?

-- And please ensure that the number opposition press reported were very close and multiplied by at least ten. Not like in the last case when one source reported 1104 opposition voters and the other reported 2580. Not only those numbers are just ridiculously small, they differ from each other way too much!

And finally, why Novosibirsk leaders of newly united RPR-Parnas party already managed to quarrel among themselves and started to accuse each other of massive fraud. Is this about who gets our money? Greedy bustards. Please take care about this issue and explain those jerks how they should behave.

In short, Tefft, if you don't make right conclusions, we probably will soon transfer you to some African country. The one were there are still cannibals... All the best."

After such a conversation Tefft quickly finished the bottle. A now this gloomy Moscow morning is upon him again and something needs to be done with all this disappearing and lying Russian opposition who like to take money but can't produce the desired results. He cursed his job and opened the second the bottle of whisky.

"I am starting to behave like a real Russian" he melancholically observed and poured the first short. He instantly felt better. And somewhat proud about this idea about becoming Russian. He drunk the second shot and thought "F*$% Kerry, if you sucker come here I will find some ketchup to greet you". Go to hell. And poured the third shot almost immediately.

 

[Jul 28, 2016] 20 years ago, America was very pleased about how the elections had gone in Russia. Now they have Hillary

marknesop.wordpress.com
Moscow Exile , July 26, 2016 at 9:12 am
20 лет назад Америке очень нравилось, как проходили выборы в России

20 years ago, America was very pleased about how the elections had gone in Russia

But now it is the other way around. At granny Hillary's HQ they have become so hysterical over the topic "Russian is manipulating our elections and pushing for Trump" that even McFaul has become indignant:

[Jul 26, 2016] 'Is this journalism' CBS News just fell into its own puddle of drool for Michelle Obama

twitchy.com

twitchy.com

Sara Miller @Millerita

Good lord, CBS. At least try to hide that erection. :-)

[Jul 25, 2016] The prayer of Hillarybot

Tony Page , 2016-07-25 14:09:51
There is no Debbie Wasserman. There has never been any Debbie Wasserman. The Party is unified. The Party has always been unified. The Great Leader, Hillary...

[Jul 18, 2016] Meet Melania Trump, a new model for first lady

Slick Willie even in his age can do a lot of damage to female White House staffers in White House bedroom, given enough spare time ;-)
The Washington Post

James Cageby, 10/3/2015 7:31 PM EDT

The prospect of Melania as FLOTUS sure beats the prospect of Willie Clinton as FLOTUS

[Jul 09, 2016] "It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!" - Emperor Clinton

[Jul 07, 2016] Let's talk about families

What an inversion – this must be the first time it was good for Hillary that her husband had a scandalous private meeting with a younger woman.

[Jun 26, 2016] http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/a-visit-from-tech-support-for-hillary-clinton

TECH SUPPORT: Hi, Secretary Clinton? I’m Liz, from tech support. Your assistant said that you needed help getting Outlook on your phone?

SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: Oh, hi. Great. Come on in.

TECH: This shouldn’t take too long. Are you working on a Blackberry or an iPhone?

CLINTON: God, who knows. I have so many devices these days.

TECH: Really? How many?

CLINTON: Two.

TECH: That shouldn’t be a problem. So let’s get Outlook fired up here. O.K. Hmm. It looks like you haven’t set up an account yet?

CLINTON: I’ve been using my hdr22@clintonemail.com address.

TECH: Most State Department employees prefer to use a state.gov address.

CLINTON: I don’t know that I would describe my role here as “employee.”

TECH: Right. Well, it’s sort of a best-practice thing. We can make sure that all your correspondence is secure this way, and it’ll make it easier to comply with FOIA requests.

CLINTON: Why would there be a FOIA request?

TECH: You’re right. There won’t be. But I like to say you can never be too careful.

CLINTON: I guess. Liz, between you and me, I’m not really a big e-mailer. I pretty much only use it for stuff like planning Chelsea’s wedding and chatting with my yoga instructor about whether we should impose sanctions on Iran.

TECH: It’s still good to get this set up. Go ahead and connect your device to the computer.

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: You can use that U.S.B. portal.

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: Here, it’s just this cord. O.K., I’m noticing that you have a lot of documents just saved to your desktop. It’s really safer to save them directly on the State Department server.

CLINTON: I’ll be sure to do that.

TECH: That way they’re password-protected. And again, FOIA.

CLINTON: I’m less worried about that than you are.

TECH: You’re the boss! O.K., next go to “Settings.”

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: It looks like a little gear symbol.

CLINTON: Oh! There it is.

TECH: Then to go to “General.”

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: . . .

CLINTON: . . .

TECH: It’s down next to—

CLINTON: I got it, all right? Jesus.

TECH: Follow the prompt for e-mail.

CLINTON: I’m not seeing it.

TECH: It’s right there next—

CLINTON: Please don’t point. I’ll never learn that way.

TECH: O.K., sorry. Keep scrolling.

CLINTON: Is it under Bluetooth? What is Bluetooth?

TECH: No, it’s—

CLINTON: Do I need to be in Dropbox?

TECH: What? No. Just click e-mail.

CLINTON: Got it!

TECH: Great. Let’s get you rolling with a username and a password. Feel free to really be creative here. Some people use their pets’ names, or the name of their high school.

CLINTON: How about just “password”?

TECH: That’s sort of not ideal.

CLINTON: O.K., how about “Benghazi”?

TECH: Perfect. It’s hard to spell and it doesn’t have any special significance.

CLINTON: So I’m done?

TECH: Not quite, but we’re close. Now input your username and password.

CLINTON: I am. It’s not accepting “Benghazi.”

TECH: Hmm. That’s O.K. This is a known issue. Let’s try “retrieve password.”

CLINTON: I’m hitting it but nothing’s happening.

TECH: Do you mind if I take over?

CLINTON: Fine. But I won’t learn.

TECH: Here’s the problem. It needs a number. Can we do a different password? Maybe “MrsPrez16”? That’s good, right?

CLINTON: That’s terrible, but I don’t care.

TECH: Hey, Madam Secretary, I get that this is frustrating. Believe me. Just remember that we’re on the same team here.

CLINTON: Sorry. UGH. I put in “MrsPrez16” and it’s rejecting that too!

TECH: You know, it’s probably because you’re not using a trusted wifi network. O.K., go back to Settings.

CLINTON: You know what, I’m just going to stick with my personal account. No one is going to care.

TECH: You’re probably right. Honestly, this system is so clunky; I’ve been forwarding stuff to my Gmail since 2006.

CLINTON: Can you get me set up with a Gmail?

TECH: I’m really not supposed to.

CLINTON: Fine. But while you’re here, could you help me change my Facebook picture? I want to use this one.

TECH: Oh, nice! You look so badass texting while wearing sunglasses.

CLINTON: I know.

TECH: Meme alert!

CLINTON: Right.

TECH: Girl, I’ll probably make that my profile picture, too. Or at least my Twitter avatar.

CLINTON: Please don’t call me “girl.”

TECH: It just makes you look like such a tech-savvy, feminist icon.

CLINTON: I am that.

TECH: Totally. O.K., here you go. It’s all set. And don’t worry about the e-mail thing.

[Jun 25, 2016] hillary-clintons-personal-e-mails-to-me

newyorker.com

Hi Bess,

Just reaching out again. Did you get my last few e-mails? Since you haven’t replied, I worry that they might have ended up in your spam folder. Do you know how to check that? I can have my campaign’s digital director send you instructions. Anyway, I would love to say hi, or grab coffee, or whatever, if you have time. I’m around. Just let me know when/where works for you! Have jet; will travel! LOL.

XO

H.R.C.

... ... ...

Bess,

What is going on?

I’m going fucking crazy over here. I think we both know that I’ve gone above and beyond to reach out to you and be your friend and invite you to cool shit and just be there for you, but I feel like you’re taking our relationship totally for granted. I saw you donated fifty dollars after my last e-mail, but, honestly, that just made me feel used. I wish you’d never entered your e-mail address into my campaign Listserv.

So I’m writing one last time to say Go to Hell, Bess. And please don’t forget to text HRC to 33422016 to get real-time updates from the trail!

Sincerely,

Hillary Clinton

[Jun 25, 2016] Jeb! - the man who single-handedly made the exclamation mark signify dreary disappointment.

DomesticExtremist

7 8
Jeb! - the man who single-handedly made the exclamation mark signify dreary disappointment.

He will be missed like a hole in the head.

CriticAtLarge -> DomesticExtremist, 20 Feb 2016 21:19

The exclamation mark should sue him.

[Dec 10, 2015] NEED HELP? CALL JESUS

merchantsofmenace, December 10, 2015

As I was just driving home and worrying about all the stuff going on in my life, my family's lives, my friends' lives, and what's happening in Washington, Moscow, Ukraine, the Middle East, Hillary Clinton's scandals, Jeb, Trump, Fox News, the downgrading of our military, the terrorists infiltrating our border, the illegals, the refugees, and how our country is rapidly losing its sanity and its Christianity, I saw a yard sign that said:
NEED HELP?
CALL JESUS
1-800-555-3787
Out of curiosity and desperation, I called the number.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

[Mar 20, 2016] Republican plan to stop Donald Trump election

www.theguardian.com

Over the last six months, GOP leaders have watched helpless as the Republican presidential race has transformed from the usual loveable farce into a terrifying prequel to Mad Max: Fury Road as tangerine reality show host Donald Trump gained, attained and retained frontrunner status. With only a few months left before the Republican National Convention, party luminaries, bigwigs and eminences grises have come up with a secret blueprint for how to stop the New York business mogul from becoming their candidate. Exclusive to the Guardian, here is their 10-point plan:

  1. Change the Republican party rules so that all presidential candidates must disclose the length of their fingers prior to receiving the nomination. Trump will drop out of the race by the end of the day.
  2. Leave a trail of spray tan canisters and ground beef leading from the door of his penthouse to a barge about to set off for the Far East.
  3. Lure him into a space shuttle by telling him there's a photograph of his daughter Ivanka in a bikini onboard and then blast him into orbit.
  4. Attach a $5 bill to a greased pig's back and set it loose backstage before his next campaign stop. He'll chase that thing until he's out of breath, and miss the speech, which, due to his inhumanly hectic campaign schedule will have the cumulative knock-on effect of making him miss the next day's speech, then the next morning's chummy appearance by telephone with his pals on Morning Joe, then the next four primaries, and before you know it he's missed the convention and is safely back to being an appalling but harmless reality TV star.
  5. Force Trump to spend as much as five minutes with one of his own supporters.
  6. Remind him that the White House executive residence is a paltry 55,000 square feet and that presidents are constitutionally prohibited from painting it gold.
  7. Invite Trump to a pool party and before he arrives glue a bunch of nickels to the bottom of the deep end.
  8. Invent time travel, go back to 2008, and stop ourselves from attacking the Obama administration with the exact same vitriolic, divisive rhetoric that Trump picked up on and has now ridden to his present position.
  9. Stop sheepishly acquiescing to Trump's bluster and acting like he isn't a despicable racist monster in hopes that it's not too late to prevent the complete collapse of society.
  10. Change election procedure so that the remaining delegates must pledge their support to whichever nominee scores highest on a seventh grade vocabulary test. Unfortunately this will probably give the edge to college debate champ Ted Cruz, an opportunistic, bigoted liar whose vision for America is a theocracy engaged in an apocalyptic war against Islam run by a man who looks like Dracula's fat cousin smugly eating a sour candy he received as a prize for tattling. But you can't have everything.

[Mar 10, 2016] Trump on how much will be two plus two

discussion.theguardian.com

Sean Anthony Dylan

3h ago 0 1 From Twitter, but so true:

Donald Trump answers the question 'what is 2+2?': "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2'? And I tell them, look, we know what 2+2 is.

We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh, my God, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It's terrible. It's just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way, I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros.

Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy, but he's like, '10101000101,' on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers, and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that?

We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me." Reply Report BG Davis Sean Anthony Dylan , 2016-03-08 17:42:31

Priceless! Next stop, Saturday Night Live or similar.

[Feb 21, 2016] An historic breakthrough for robot rights.

Dmanny , 2016-02-21 02:28:50

Marco Rubio will be the next president of the United States.
Philip J Sparrow Dmanny , 2016-02-21 02:31:38
An historic breakthrough for robot rights.

[Feb 20, 2016] Vote Goldman! Vote Hillary!

Whatsup12

Vote Goldman! Vote Hillary!

[Feb 20, 2016] A real dark night of the soul tonight for Jeb!

Todd Newman

A real dark night of the soul tonight for Jeb!.He sits on the couch in his hotel room, drinking straight out of a bottle of Glenfiddich, after crawling around on his hands and knees for an hour in a fruitless search for one of his brand new contact lenses. He finally gives up on that and sits, with vision in only one eye, with the lights turned down low and the television with a smashed screen. He stares at the copy of "The Art of the Deal" on the coffee table, the book a gag gift from W. The phone rings. "Yeah, mom, I know. It doesn't look good. What am I going to tell the money people? You know, the thing that really gets to me is that I was the only one to stand up to Trump, the only one with the balls to go after that son of a bitch. Marco? That slime ball really did a number on me. I'm going to call him up right now and tell him to bring that sword I gave him over here and just stab me in the back. I got that Terri Schiavo law passed to save her life. I wish somebody would pass a law to keep my candidacy on life support. Do you think if Chris Christie got back in the race he'd be willing to take on Trump at the next debate? Yeah…probably not." He takes a long pull from the bottle. "Yeah, mom, I know W did all he could. But it wasn't enough. The shock and awe didn't happen for me tonight. There was no freakin' mission accomplished, except I look like a loser. Maybe Trump was right.The kids and their mom aren't here, I can't put them on the phone. Their mom didn't want the kids to see me like this so they got a different room. What am I going to do? Well, first I'm gonna take me another little bitty drinkee-poo from this here bottle."

[Sep 26, 2015] Wild card Trevor Noah ready to revamp the Daily Show with an outsider twist

Sep 26, 2015 | www.theguardian.com

Speaking at a press breakfast to launch the new Daily Show, which starts on Monday 28 September, the South African comedian said he would use his position as an outsider in the US to look at some of the more bizarre elements of the country's political system without preconceptions.

... ... ...

Jon Stewart's final year in charge at the Daily Show saw the programme win three Emmys for outstanding variety talk series, outstanding writing for a variety series and outstanding directing for a variety series.

[Sep 04, 2015] Clinton is transparently Fake.... Looks like Josh is a Extramarital Art Expert.... Anyone know if he has the Black Condom yet? Yoringe Fri, 9/4/2015 - 9:34 am

[Jul 12, 2015] Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed

March 29, 2010 |The Onion - America's Finest News Source
WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the U.S. Department of Education, an increasing number of American parents are choosing to have their children raised at school rather than at home.

Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller said that many parents who school-home find U.S. households to be frightening, overwhelming environments for their children, and feel that they are just not conducive to producing well-rounded members of society.

Thousands of mothers and fathers polled in the study also believe that those running American homes cannot be trusted to keep their kids safe.

"Every year more parents are finding that their homes are not equipped to instill the right values in their children," Miller said. "When it comes to important life skills such as proper nutrition, safe sex, and even basic socialization, a growing number of mothers and fathers think it's better to rely on educators to guide and nurture their kids."

"And really, who can blame them?" Miller continued. "American homes have let down our nation's youth time and again in almost every imaginable respect."

According to the report, children raised at home were less likely to receive individual adult attention, and were often subjected to ineffective and wildly inconsistent disciplinary measures. The study also found that many parents expressed concerns that, when at home, their children were being teased and bullied by those older than themselves.

In addition to providing better supervision and overall direction, school-homing has become popular among mothers and fathers who just want to be less involved in the day-to-day lives of their children.

"Parents are finding creative ways to make this increasingly common child-rearing track work," Miller said. "Whether it's over-relying on after-school programs and extracurricular activities, or simply gross neglect,† school-homing is becoming a widely accepted method of bringing children up."

Despite the trend's growing popularity, Miller said that school programs are often jeopardized or terminated because shortsighted individuals vote against tax increases intended to boost educational spending.

"The terrifying reality we're facing is that the worst-equipped people you could possibly imagine may actually be forced to take care of their children," Miller said.

Parents who have decided to school-home their children have echoed many of Miller's concerns. Most said that an alarming number of legal guardians such as themselves lack the most basic common sense required to give children the type of instruction they need during crucial developmental years.

"It's really a matter of who has more experience in dealing with my child," Cincinnati- resident Kevin Dufrense said of his decision to have his 10-year-old son Jake, who suffers from ADHD and dyslexia, school-homed. "These teachers are dealing with upwards of 40 students in their classrooms at a time, so obviously they know a lot more about children than someone like me, who only has one son and doesn't know where he is half the time anyway."

"Simply put, it's not the job of parents to raise these kids," Dufrense added.

Though school-homing has proven to be an ideal solution for millions of uninvolved parents, increasingly overburdened public schools have recently led to a steady upswing in the number of students being prison-homed.

[Jul 12, 2015] “An aggressor is anyone who attacks a country before the US does.”–Czech President Milos Zeman

Patient Observer, July 12, 2015 at 9:35 am
Had to share – almost lost my bowl of oatmeal on this:
“An aggressor is anyone who attacks a country before the US does.”–Czech President Milos Zeman
http://fortruss.blogspot.com/2015/07/russias-week-in-humor-for-july-10-2015.html

[Jul 10, 2015] Trump'd

"...This is bordering on hero worship with this guy and, frankly, I think that's dangerous. That's exactly how the Ds ended up shoving Obama down everyone's throat and look how lousy that turned out."
Jul 9, 2015 | Zero Hedge

Republican preferences of Presidential candidates ;-)

1st choice 2nd choice
Donald Trump

15%

12%

Jeb Bush 11% 7%
Rand Paul 11% 7%

nmewn

Trump filed for bankruptcy protection in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009. I have zero interest in putting him in charge of anything remotely connected to my prosperity or posterity.

But I will say this, with Hillary! the current frontrunner, fully 98% of democrats are insane ;-)

Paveway IV

Witht that kind of experience, we should make him president of Puerto Rico.

Not My Real Name

Trump is too much of an ego maniac to have that kind of power.

You mean like Obama?

Gold...Bitches

Wrong. The popularity of Trump and Sanders is they are actually talking reality versus the papsmear crapola that comes out of the mouths of the corporate polititcians from both sides. They also actually have policies that appeal to the majority of the people in their respective parties. Most people oppose the crony trade deals that get signed that do nothing for the people yet enrich the CEO and the politician that passes the bill after they are out and get massive "speaking" fees. Not the corporatists such as Bush and Hillary - never met a trade deal favorable to corporations they didnt like. Quid, meet Pro and Quo.

Southpark said it best regarding voting and elections: But Stan, don't you know, it's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd. They're the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics."

chosen

Thanks for the heads up. Is there any candidate that is not in AIPAC's pocket?

[Jul 10, 2015] You mean George Bush sends our soldiers into combat, they are severely wounded, and then he wants $120,000 to make a boring speech to them?

Warren, July 9, 2015 at 4:47 pm

You mean George Bush sends our soldiers into combat, they are severely wounded, and then he wants $120,000 to make a boring speech to them?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 9, 2015

[May 31, 2015] You better be nice to America

[May 30, 2015] Creator Of Infamous Hope Poster Lashes Out At Obama, Calls Americans Ignorant And Lazy

May 30, 2015 | Zero Hedge

Creator Of Infamous Hope Poster Lashes Out At Obama, Calls Americans Ignorant And Lazy Zero Hedge

Before the people realized that behind the "most transparent administration ever" there was nothing but double seasonal adjustments, drones and an impenetrable layer of propaganda and lies, there was...

And change, of course.

Sadly, at some point over the past six years the hope died, first for the people (if not the bankers), and then for the creator of the infamous "Hope" poster himself, Shepard Fairey who told Esquire magazine in an interview that Obama has not come even close to embodying the break with the past administration that Fairey and so many voters hoped he would.

"I mean, drones and domestic spying are the last things I would have thought [he'd support]."

But support them he did while crushing the much promised transparency and freedom for the masses, for one simple reason: money, the same reason why Fairey is almost willing to give Obama a pass, again. Money, and of course, power and control of the masses by the select few.

Still, the confused artist still isn't fully ready to throw away all his idealism just yet:

I've met Obama a few times, and I think Obama's a quality human being, but I think that he finds himself in a position where your actions are largely dictated by things out of your control.

A "quality human being" he may be, but when it comes to personal motives, money always wins. Just ask the Clinton Foundation. Even Fairey, who says he "agrees with Hilary on most issues" finally grasps that now:

... campaign finance structure makes me very angry, because it means that politicians are going to have to raise a huge amount of money, which narrows the field dramatically. There are only certain kinds of people that either have the preexisting resources or the willingness to work in way that will get them a lot of money from donors. That narrows the field right there. Then there's the idea that the people who you are going to have to listen to are the people that are going to give you the biggest donation. That means lobbyists, special interest groups, and corporations are going to have politicians eager, disproportionally.

He adds: "I'm not giving him a pass for not being more courageous, but I do think the entire system needs an overhaul and taking money out of politics would be a really good first step."

A systemic overhaul by whom? The same politicians who are nothing but "whores" to corporate lobby interests?

Or maybe the infamous artist should just blame the American public for agreeing to be swindled and manipulated by one liar after another, all of whom promise change yet end up merely perpetuating the broken, corrupt system they inherit from their predecessor and make it even worse.

Actually, that's precisely what Fairey did. This is what he told Esquire:

We also need a public that isn't so uneducated and complacent. I hate to say Americans are ignorant and lazy, but a lot of them are ignorant and lazy.... When you live in a place that has a lot of good things that make life easier, it's easier to take them for granted. But what frustrates me to no end are people who want to blame Obama or blame anything that is something that if they were actually doing anything as simple as voting, it might not be as bad as it is. There's a lot of finger pointing and very little action and very little research into the dynamics that created the situation that they're unhappy about.

Actually, about that he's quite accurate

However his message will be diluted and ignored, and the media will do is what it always does when facing a threat to the status quo: crush the messenger.

And conveniently, Fairey made it very easy for them: after all, and quite amusingly, his Hope poster itself was a fraud.

The artist was recently sentenced to two years of probation and fined $250,000 in 2012 for destroying documents and concealing others in an attempt to hide that he had used an Associated Press photograph as the basis for his "Hope" poster. And even more ironic, as Gawker wrote in 2009, Fairey himself was "lawsuit happy to artists who ape or parody his stuff."

Unfortunately, in retrospect Fairey's story is one of "tidiest little package" summaries of the banana republic status the US, and its leadership, has devolved to.

[May 30, 2015] More than 10,000 websites 'blackout' Congress in protest of NSA surveillance laws

EdChamp -> elaine layabout 29 May 2015 17:22

Please, tell me that porn sites are involved in this. Cut off Congress's porn access and they will be putty in our hands.

Congratulations! You win the award of the day for that one gleaming guardian comment that truly made me smile.

[May 29, 2015] cCain urges military strikes against FIFA

dh | May 29, 2015 8:52:46 AM | 6

McCain is on the case...

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mccain-urges-military-strikes-against-fifa?mbid=social_facebook

[May 28, 2015] Neocons The Men of Dementia By William R. Polk

May 27, 2015 | Consortiumnews
In the classic novel Don Quixote de la Mancha, the great Spanish writer Cervantes explored the danger of mixing delusions of grandeur with adventurous combat. Yet, today instead of the man of la Mancha, we have the neocons playing the men (and some women) of dementia, as ex-diplomat William R. Polk describes.

It was over half a century ago that I first read Cervantes’ marvelous novel, Don Quixote de la Mancha. I was then studying at the University of Chile, trying to learn Spanish, and Don Quixote was the first novel I remember reading. Or, to be honest, “reading at” because my Spanish was still weak and the text is full of unfamiliar expressions. Also, I was very young and did not know enough about the world to understand fully what Cervantes was saying.

But he had a remarkable gift of writing on different levels. His tale could be enjoyed as just a good story or more profoundly. So, despite my shortcomings, he caught me in his magical web. A few years later, somewhat better equipped, I dipped into Don Quixote again in a delightful course on satire I was taking as an undergraduate at Harvard.

So now I have gone back. Or not quite back. Not quite, because I now can put both of those early ventures into a new perspective from experiences I have had and observations I have made over the last half century. I now realize that what Cervantes wrote about his own times could be applied to ours.

Cervantes was writing about themes that recur often and are particularly apposite today. Indeed, the auguries suggest that they may be virtually a prediction. His “Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote” can be read as an amalgam of several of our own “knights errant,” and his accounts of his hidalgo’s adventures foreshadowed some of the wilder forays into combat of our own warriors.

A terrifying thought at least to me is that the hints and themes we can read into his story may be played out in the aftermath of the next election. So, laugh with Cervantes — or shudder with me — over a few pages of his fable.

He begins by anchoring us in place, En un lugar de la Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme (“in a place on the Plain whose name I don’t wish to remember”). As I now transpose it to Washington D.C., he might have written, “at little town in Foggy Bottom whose name I don’t wish to remember.”

Then he introduces the target of his satire, Don Quixote: no ha much tiempo que vivía un hidalgo de los de lanza en astillero, adarga antigua, rocín flaco y galgo corredor (“not much time has passed since there lived one of those gentlemen of the sort who keeps a lance hanging on the wall, an ancient shield, a bony mare and a greyhound”),

At this point, one stops. Who in our times might fit such a description? Are there such eccentric would-be warriors holed up in government offices, think tanks or war colleges with the symbols of warfare and the hunt flaunted above their desks?

A memory pops into my mind: yes, I remember when it was quite fashionable to festoon the walls of offices in the Executive Office Building, the old State and War Departments, of the White House, with the modern equivalents of Quixote’s lance. Battle-scarred weapons fashioned by the Vietcong were particularly favored. Some of us even brought our hounds (but not our nags) into our offices.

But in those far-off days, knights errant were few even in Foggy Bottom. Now, they seem to have multiplied beyond counting. So, could we single out anyone as our Don Quixote? Names of candidates flow past my inner eye. Indeed, even Cervantes puzzled over the name of his hero. He offers several alternatives.

We might do the same. The character we need to fit his story is an arm-chair warrior who is carried away by his occult reading to the point that he is prepared to embark (or at least to send others to embark) on great (and disastrous) adventures in faraway lands, and whose grip on reality is, like Don Quixote’s, to say the least, faulty.

We have a legion of candidates who fit that bill. So it is hard to pick a single name. Never mind. As Cervantes wrote, the name “matters little for our account; it is enough that the narrative does not depart a single point from the truth.” (esto importa poco a nuestro cuento; basta que en la narracíon dél no se salga un punto de la verdad.)

Being accurate or at least suggestive within reasonable bounds was very important for Cervantes and is also important for us because the tale we — the combination of Cervantes classically and I in modern terms — relate is hard to believe.

The Land of Neocons

As I say, many of our great statesmen come to mind, but the richest lode is to be found in the neoconservative movement. Whoa! I pull on the reins of my imagination. Could Cervantes have imagined a Dick Cheney? A Paul Wolfowitz? One of the Kristols? Surely such figures are to be seen only in our times?

Well, no. Not at all. History provides quite a few ancestors for them. However, as the text of the book makes clear, Cervantes’ hidalgo was a complex character who not only read and fantasized but actually himself also went out and fought. Doing both narrows the field rather drastically.

It is hard to find one of the great statesmen we read about, much less those we know in our times, who both proclaimed policy and themselves went into harm’s way. In the “leisure of the theory class,” as Veblen has been amended for our times, the armchair was found to be much more comfortable than the helicopter bucket seat. So, Cervantes would have had to invent a combination of something like Paul Wolfowitz and David Petraeus.

And, of course, he would have transposed Don Quixote’s lance, shield, bony mare and greyhound. They don’t quite do in our day. So consider our modern Don Quixote trading them in for a fighter-bomber, a Patriot missile system, an aircraft carrier and, although this may be stretching it even for Cervantes, a drone in place of the greyhound.

Never mind. Don’t quibble about the tools of the trade. Cervantes, himself, was less concerned with the artifacts than with the mind of his hero. As he tells us, Don Quixote had read so many romantic tales about the glorious adventures of knights errant that “the poor fellow lost his reason to such an extent that not even Aristotle could have untangled the wild imaginations that he believed, were he to be brought back to life just to do that job.” (Con estes razones perdía el pobre caballero el juicio y desvelábase por entendarlas y desestrañarles el sentido que no se sacara ni las entendiera el mesmo Aristóteles, si resucitara para solo ella.)

To try to understand what all the writings were about and what they told him to do, Don Quixote talked with the learned priest of his village. Just so, our modern Don Quixote, having imbibed and partly understood the neoconservative bizarre view of human affairs, consulted with the High Priest of neoconservatism, Leo Strauss, who held forth in his “village” as the President of the University of Chicago once referred to its department of political science. But, as we shall see, Don Quixote chose a rather better guide than did our policy makers.

Cervantes was not kind about the writings of such philosophers. He shows his poor hero dazzled by the intricacies and blind alleys of the outpouring of his version of the great myth peddler. Cervantes has his spinner of tales, a man known as Feliciano de Silva, leading his avid but disoriented devoté into a maze with “clarity of the prose and intricacy of reasoning” exemplified by such marvels as “the reason of unreason affects my reason to such a degree that my reason withers away…” (La razón de la sinrazón que a mi rasón se hace, de tal maner, mi razón enflaquence…)

That is, put rather more prosaically, logic and facts cease to matter. It is the vision of romantic action against demonic forces that give the necessary energy for wild endeavors. Thought becomes a banner to signal the grand campaign. And, as Cervantes said, razón enflaquence…reason withers away.

Finally, as Cervantes tells us, his Don Quixote became so immersed in such readings that he passed the nights from dusk to dawn and the days from dawn to dusk “until finally the brain dried up and he came to lose his mind. Having filled himself with the fantasies he had read in de Silva’s writings, imaginary happenings became actual for him [and] no other interpretation of the world was more real.”

“As a result, having lost his mind, he hit on the strangest plan that had ever occurred to a crazy person anywhere: it came to seem to him appropriate and necessary both to augment his own honor and to serve his republic to make himself a knight errant and take himself around the world with his weapons and on his mount to seek adventures and to put into practice all he had read… becoming a knight errant, going about the world with his arms and mount, seeking adventures, righting every manner of wrong and by putting himself in situations of great peril to make famous his name. The poor fellow imagined himself crowned for his valor, at the very least, with the empire of Trebizond; so with these agreeable thoughts in mind, he immediately set out to put into effect his plan.”

But he faced an immediate obstacle: having decided to venture into the dangerous world, Don Quixote realizes that he must be properly “entitled” — that is, he could not afford to be seen as an outlaw or a war criminal but must be recognized as a person legally or at least officially entitled to engage in combat to overthrow and to kill the wicked.

So he seeks someone to dub him a knight, which in contemporary terms would give him legitimacy. Just so, the neoconservatives realized that it was not enough simply to proclaim their doctrine in their journals even if that attracted to their cause real warriors who could put it into effect. Rather they must be vested with authority. Even intellectuals, after all, need to be “knighted” if they are to perform acts that when done unofficially or by ordinary citizens are crimes.

Seeking Authority

So, after an agonized delay in which he found no proper authority to knight him, Don Quixote comes upon an inn whose keeper emerges to welcome him. To our would-be knight errant the inn is a castle and the keeper is its lord just as our Don Quixote found his authority to be the lord of the White House. Cervantes has his Don Quixote say – and we can be sure that our Wolfowitz-Petraeus spoke similarly — these magic words,

“My adornments are my arms,

My leisure is to fight.”

Then, before the proprietor of the house, Don Quixote falls on his knees, saying “I will never raise myself from where I am, Illustrious Lord, until you have given me what I seek, that which will spread your fame and do good to all humanity …. that I may go forth equipped with the necessary credentials as an armed knight such as never before was to be found in the world.”

One can only imagine how the modern bond was forged. However it was done, we know that our modern hero-to-be was welcomed into the “House” by its Great Lord who proceeded to anoint him with the signs of high office. Neither would have been put off by the earlier hero’s expectations:

“Who could doubt that in the coming times, when my glorious deeds emerge in the light of true history … my brave deeds will deserve to be cast in bronze, carved in marble and painted on canvasses to be seen for all time. Ah you! Wise enchanter of the future! Whoever you may be. To you will fall the honor of chronicling my great crusade!”

He also admonished the future historian not to forget his warhorse.

And so, in our marvelous age of instant history, it happened as predicted — or requested. It was not long before that very chronicle appeared. Written not about Don Quixote, of course, but about his modern and only partial successor, Paul Wolfowitz, under the title Visionary Intellectual, Policymaker and Strategist. The author was so fulsome that he certainly did not forget the “warhorse,” the great weapons of war.

Back to the Inn/Castle/White House, the keeper/lord/president mentions that although he had not read — he was not noted for his reading– the marvelous accounts that had so affected both the old and the new Don Quixotes, while still a young man he too had wandered the world, seeking adventures.

In place of Seville, Malaga, Cordoba and Toledo, in the earlier account, read New Haven, Cambridge, Austin and Dallas — and, after a number of shady enterprises, as we are told by Cervantes earlier and by the media in our times, they both had entered their “houses.”Castle lords or not, they both were empowered to dub anyone a knight “or at least as much a knight as anyone in the world was.” (y tan caballero, que no pudeiese más en el mundo.)

So empowered, Don Quixote sets out on his first venture, rushing to “regime change” a tyranny. It happened like this:

As Don Quixote was riding along, he heard moans coming from a forest he was passing. Looking for a cause for which to fight, he exclaimed “I give thanks to Heaven for giving me so soon a means to carry out my calling.” With that, he rode into the forest where he saw a “stout rustic” lashing a poor boy. Don Quixote exploded in anger and, thinking that the rustic was a knight, challenged him to a fight. The peasant tried to excuse himself by saying that the boy had been stealing from him and was not protecting his sheep. And “he says I am a miser who does not want to pay him what I owe him.”

Furious, our hero threatens the tyrant with his lance and orders him to pay the boy at once or “if not, by The God, I will make an end to you.” (Pagadle luego sín más réplica; si no, por el Dios que nos rige que os concluya y aniquile en este punto. Desatadlo luego.)

So it happened also that when our modern heroes rode through the deserts of the Middle East, they saw a robust fellow (Iraq) mistreating a little fellow (Kuwait). When our heroes accosted him, the big fellow said that the little fellow was stealing his oil and not helping him protect his flock (the Arab nations) from the advancing Iranians. So Iraq, who had no money “with him” as Cervantes says of the lout Don Quixote encountered, said he could not pay Kuwait what it owed it.

In Cervantes’ tale: the bully said he would take the little boy under his control and promised eventually to pay him the money. The boy was terrified and said that he would never trust the bully. But Don Quixote brushed his worries aside and said that he had given orders, which the peasant would obey. The boy need not worry; all would be well. And, if the peasant did not pay, he, Don Quixote would return and punish him.

Waiting until the valiant knight was out of sight, the peasant then tied the boy again to the tree and lashed him nearly to death.

So what happened in the story as it unfolded in our times? Our replacement of the peasant, the dictator of Iraq, consulted with the American ambassador who told him that we really took no position on what happened to the boy, Kuwait. The Americans apparently meant that the Saddam Hussein should be allowed a little “beating” of Kuwait, but not too much.

Saddam took that to give him permission, a “green light,” as America had flashed to another dictator in far-off Indonesia. So he grabbed Kuwait. The Americans were surprised by the ferocity of the attack because they thought he would not take all of the country. That is, not beat the “boy” nearly to death, as Cervantes’s rustic set about doing.

“And in this manner,” wrote Cervantes, “the valorous Don Quixote righted the wrong, being very happy that everything turned out so well according to the high ideals of knighthood.”

Wisely, Cervantes had his hero ride happily away. It was not so, as we know, in the modern version. Infuriated that Saddam went too far, the Americans returned to punish him. Then, having announced that they had imposed the high ideals of democracy, literally at the point of the lance, our modern heroes stayed on at the house of the cruel peasant, tore it apart and killed many of his family – and are still there.

As Cervantes makes clear and as we know from experience not only in Iraq but in a string of other countries, the intervention of the great warrior resulted in the total breakdown of social institutions, security, justice and protection of the weak.

Cervantes could not have imagined how many times and in how many places his parable would be reenacted! But already, he realized that “regime change” gives birth to chaos and misery.

When Don Quixote finally got back to his own house, having been severely beaten in another encounter on the way, his friends decided that it would be an act of mercy to demolish the fantasies that had driven him mad and had nearly gotten him killed.

The great man’s housekeeper thought that all that was necessary was to sprinkle Holy Water on the books in his library, but his friends thought that the ridiculous doctrine could be erased only by sterner action. They were too late. He was already infected by the ideas he had imbibed.

I leave it to the reader to draw the modern parallel. Is it too late for us and our valiant leaders to realize how pernicious are the delusions they have imbed, how many lives they have cost, how much treasure they have wasted? We cannot be sure, but the trends are against us.

Suffice it to say that the neoconservatives are again plugging their dangerous policies and myopic views of cultures and societies and urging more mummery despite the record of their past malpractice. Behind the buzzwords of counterinsurgency and “nation building,” they caused and then justified not only the great harm done to those who stood in their way but also violations of those principles that have guided our democracy.

Cervantes catches this violation neatly. Since one of the books Don Quixote had been reading was called The Knight of the Cross, Cervantes has the village priest remark that “behind the cross stands the devil.” (mas también se suele decir, “tras la cruz está el diablo.) Or, as we might transpose it to modern terms, behind the philosophical musings of Leo Strauss lurk the violent warmongering of the neoconservatives and the justifications for the rise of the “security state.”

These collections were both pernicious, but undoubtedly the results of the impact of Strauss were far worse. They were directly harmful to our liberty and well-being.

Sancho Panza

It is here where Cervantes introduces Sancho Panza whom some readers find to be an even more complex character than the great knight himself. Often a man of good sense, sometimes even noble and generous, he was also greedy and inconsistent. He was fair game for Don Quixote, and our wild warrior quickly brought Sancho into his court. Who was he?

As Cervantes describes him, he was “a working man, living nearby, a good man (if such a title could be given to a poor man) but not very bright; so after inveigling him with (soothing) words and (lavish) promises, he got the poor hick to agree to go with him and serve him as his squire.

Among other things Don Quixote argued was that he ought to be willing to go along because, if their venture succeeded, they would win some island of which he would become governor. With these promises and others, Sancho Panza, although himself a simple working man, gave up his fields, left his wife and children and signed on as squire.”

It is hard to avoid reading Barack Obama into the character of Sancho. Having listened to the brave words of the neoconservatives, Obama and many members of Jefferson’s, Jackson’s and Roosevelt’s Party of “the common man,” the Democrats, readily gave up their customary fields of concern, the well-being of their families and fellow citizens, said goodbye to their long-time partners and rushed off as followers of the new doctrine in pursuit some distant “island” where they could win both laurels and emoluments.

As they rode along together, Sancho (here the opportunistic Democrat) assured Don Quixote (here the Obama convert to Bush’s policies) that “if you give me that island you promised, I will rule it, no matter how big it is.”

But, as I have said, Sancho was a complex figure and another part of his personality – his innate common sense – comes out in the most famous of the great knight’s misadventures, the attack on the windmills.

As Cervantes tells the story, the great knight suddenly sighted some windmills and turning to his newly commissioned acolyte said, “luck has brought us even more than we could have desired; for there you see, Friend Sancho Panza, revealed before you 30 or a few more vicious giants with whom I think to do battle, deprive them of their lives [and] with whose spoils we will begin to enrich ourselves for this is a just war and is a great service to God to drive such vile species from the Earth.”

An astonished Sancho, blurted out, “What giants?”

“Those you see before you,” replied Don Quixote. “those with the long arms…”

“Look, Your Excellency,” Sancho replied, what you see there are not giants, only windmills and what seems to be long arms are just wings to catch the wind and make the millstone turn.”

“It is clear,” continued Don Quixote, that you do not understand such matters. Those are giants. And if you are fainthearted, stand aside and say your prayers while I engage them in fierce and unequal battle.” With that the valiant knight spurred his horse into battle. [I have condensed the beginning section of Chapter 8.]

We all have heard the story of what happened next: the windmill’s wings caught the knight’s lance, pulled him and his horse into the air and smashed them onto the ground. And, as Cervantes tells us, he was particularly grieved over the breaking of his lance.

To convert Cervantes to our times, imagine, I ask you, that the windmill was the little perceived, simple and otherwise engaged country of Afghanistan. Without much thought of the danger or the cost and no perceived consideration of alternative actions, we charged in and like him were caught in the whirling melee of its fiercely independent people.

Don Quixote was, of course, mad, but his action was unprecedented; we, in contrast, whether mad or not, had ample warnings from the experiences of the British and the Russians. Both the British and the Russians had lost their armies and their “lances” jousting there. Our Don Quixote, now multiplied by tens of thousands, paid a heavy price both for knowing no history and for having believed the wild dogmas of the neoconservatives.

Could this painful venture — and all our other escapades in Vietnam, Somalia, Libya (and now perhaps Syria and even Ukraine) have been avoided? An attempt to answer that question takes us back to Sancho Panza. Sancho was a realist and tried to dissuade the knight errant from some of his dementia, but he — like modern Democrats — also sought to profit from the dementia. Recognizing Sancho’s venality, Don Quixote promised him a kingdom if he obeyed.

In our times, the “kingdom” is not a faraway and imaginary island but victory at the polls, promotions and even the forges of “lances.” These rewards come about more easily and quicker from sound and fury than from careful and constructive action.

Cervantes got it right. Don Quixote’s flights of madness are addictive. Eventually, even Sancho was converted. And today, as we see almost daily the Obama administration has taken over the major aspects of the neoconservative creed. Looking to a future of the probable choice between a Hilary Clinton and a Jeb Bush, who will have the will to call a halt to madness?

Cervantes speaks to us all.

William R. Polk is a veteran foreign policy consultant, author and professor who taught Middle Eastern studies at Harvard. President John F. Kennedy appointed Polk to the State Department’s Policy Planning Council where he served during the Cuban Missile Crisis. His books include: Violent Politics: Insurgency and Terrorism; Understanding Iraq; Understanding Iran; Personal History: Living in Interesting Times; Distant Thunder: Reflections on the Dangers of Our Times; and Humpty Dumpty: The Fate of Regime Change.

[May 15, 2015] JEB & JR.

The Burning Platform

[May 15, 2015] Fed-Up Employee Just About 14 Years Away From Walking Out Door

The Burning Platform

WALTHAM, MA—Frustrated with a growing list of unacceptable workplace indignities, fed-up Catamount Systems employee Marc Holden is just about 14 years away from walking out the front door of his office and never returning, sources confirmed Thursday. “I swear to God, if things don’t improve around here real fast, I am out of here in 14 years or so—I am not bluffing,” Holden said, noting that if he has to endure just a decade and a half more of company-wide incompetence and pointless micromanagement, he is gone for good. “Seriously, I don’t think I can take any more than 3,000 more days of this before I snap. Mark my words, if 2029 rolls around and it’s still the same old shit around here, I’m cleaning out my desk, getting on that elevator, and never coming back.” Holden added that if his boss belittled him in front of the entire staff just 200 more times, he would storm right into his office and tell him exactly where he can stick it.

[May 9, 2015] Putin Celebrates 70th Anniversary Of Victory Over Hitler, Warns Of Dangers From Unipolar World

Zero Hedge

Arnold

I completely endorse Hillary for POTUS 2016.

are we there yet

I endorse hillary for a jail term.

[May 03, 2015] Jon Stewart: why I quit The Daily Show by Hadley Freeman

Apr 18, 2015 | The Guardian

.... he describes his decision to quit The Daily Show, the American satirical news programme he has hosted for 16 years, as something closer to the end of a long-term relationship.

... ... ...

At 52, Stewart has the bouncy energy of a man half his age and, unlike most in the public eye, has an aversion to compliments. If I tell him I liked something about the film, he will immediately deflect the compliment and insist it was all down to Bahari, or the film’s star Gael García Bernal, or the crew. For all the claims of his detractors that Stewart is the epitome of East Coast elitism, there is more self-deprecating New Jersey grit here than arrogant Manhattan elan.

Much as he might wince to hear it, for the past 16 years Stewart has occupied a place in America’s cultural and political life far greater than the small audience of his cable show would suggest. The Daily Show’s simple format consists of a mix of reports from roving reporters (who have included Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert and John Oliver), monologues delivered by Stewart and an end-of-show interview. Over time, Stewart has evolved from a satirist to a broadcaster celebrated as the voice of US liberalism, the one who will give the definitive progressive take on a story.

His moving monologue after the Charlie Hebdo killings in January was widely shared; his frequent on-air support of Democrat senator Elizabeth Warren helped her evolve in the eyes of the public from Harvard professor to dream 2016 presidential candidate – particularly among those who find Hillary Clinton too centrist and hawkish. Stewart’s energetic campaigning on behalf of the 9/11 first responders (the emergency services who were first on the scene, many of whom later suffered debilitating illnesses), prompted the New York Times to compare him to Walter Cronkite and Edward R Murrow, the most revered newscasters in American history. It is a delicious irony that in the world of American TV news, one populated by raging egotists and self-aggrandisers, the person who is generally cited as the most influential is Stewart – a man so disinterested in his own celebrity, he often didn’t bother to collect his 18 Emmys, preferring to stay at home with his family.

When George Bush left office in 2008, some worried that Stewart would run out of material. This proved as shortsighted as the hope that Obama would be America’s grand salvation. Stewart, who describes himself as “a leftist”, has always hammered the Democrats with the vigour of a disappointed supporter, and subjected Obama to one of his most damaging interviews during his first term: the president admitted that his 2008 slogan probably should have been “Yes We Can, But...” At the time, Stewart laughed, but today he admits with a shrug, “It was heartbreaking. It’s generally heartbreaking – that’s what the gig is.”

Jon Stewart gave Barack Obama one of his toughest interviews, suggesting his 2008 election slogan should have been ‘Yes we can, but…’

His seemingly effortless interview with Tony Blair in 2008 cut through Blair’s crusader mentality in a mere six minutes, as Stewart calmly rejected Blair’s theory that any kind of military action can keep the west safe. As Blair stammered, huffed and shifted in his seat, Stewart concluded that: “19 people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough, to make the world safe enough, that 19 people wouldn’t want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.” This was Stewart at his best; it’s also fair to say that some of the interviews, generally those with actors and authors, seem like mere puffery, a point with which Stewart agrees (he embraces criticism as eagerly as he deflects compliments).

... ... ...

Stewart likes to credit “the team”, but given that he has always been deeply involved in the script (unusually for a host), writing and rewriting drafts right up to the last minute, the show will be a pretty different beast without him. He has described his successor, the South African comedian Trevor Noah, as “incredibly thoughtful, considerate and funny”, and defended him when it was discovered, to widespread fury, that Noah had in the past tweeted offensive jokes about Jews, overweight women and transgender people.

The furore over Noah’s tweets reflects just how high Stewart has set the bar. There was such an outpouring of grief when he announced he was stepping down, that he mused on air the following day, “Did I die?” Even the normally dispassionate New Yorker magazine claimed, under the headline Jon Stewart, We Need You In 2016, “the last hope for bringing some rationality to the 2016 Presidential field died”. Not since Oprah Winfrey announced her retirement from network television has a US TV host’s departure received such international coverage, but Stewart bridles when I make the Winfrey comparison: “If Oprah can leave and the world still spins, I honestly think it will survive me.”

And it should be noted that not everyone was distraught. Fox News, displaying its mastery of making colour-based accusations about the kettle from its pot-based position, reported that Stewart was “not a force for good” and that his sustained criticisms of the right “had no foothold in the facts”. The Daily Show duly responded with a Vine of Fox News’ best factual distortions.

... ... ...

In 2010, Stewart hosted a Rally To Restore Sanity in Washington DC, attracting 215,000 people, who cheered him on as he berated the media, or “the country’s 24-hour politico–pundit-perpetual-panic-‘conflictinator’.”

... ... ...

My biggest objection to Fox News, I say, is not the scaremongering, it’s the way it’s reshaped the Republican party. It will misrepresent social and economic issues, and promote the more extreme elements of the party, politicians such as Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee, in a way that is hugely detrimental to American politics. (For the record, Rupert Murdoch disagrees, and last year claimed that Fox News “absolutely saved” the Republican party.) “Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing,” says Stewart. “I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don’t get turd lung disease.”

... ... ...

Jon Stuart Leibowitz was born in New York and raised in New Jersey, the son of a teacher and a professor of physics. He grew up in the shadow of the Vietnam war and Watergate, events that left him, he has said in the past, “with a healthy scepticism towards official reports”. He jokingly recalls the time his older brother fired him from his first job at Woolworths as one of the defining, “scarring events” of his youth. But his parents’ divorce when he was 11 was clearly more so, prompting him to drop his surname and eventually legally change it to Stewart. He has described his relationship with his father as still “complicated”. “There was a thought of using my mother’s maiden name, but I thought that would be just too big a fuck you to my dad,” he says. “Did I have some problems with my father? Yes. Yet people always view it [changing his surname] through the prism of ethnic identity.”

So it was a family thing as opposed to a Jewish thing? “Right. So whenever I criticise Israel’s actions it’s [he puts on a Yiddishy accent] ‘He’s changed his name! He’s not a Jew! He hates himself!’ And I’m like, ‘I hate myself for a lot of reasons, but not because I’m Jewish.’”

After college, Stewart performed on the standup circuit in New York, landing his own talkshow on MTV in the 1990s. In 1999, he took over the then little-loved Daily Show on Comedy Central, turning it from hit-and-miss satire to the news- and politics-focused programme it is today. Coming to it at 38, he says, the job was so ideal, “I couldn’t have created one better”.

Since Stewart announced his departure, much has been written about him being the most trusted news source for young Americans. Stewart kiboshes this as “conventional wisdom. In the sea of information that surrounds people of that generation, I’d be truly surprised if their only news comes four days of the week, for a few minutes a night.” He laughs when I describe him as a celebrity (“I’m not Madonna!” he hoots, raising an eyebrow). The only restriction fame has put on his freedom, he says, is “I don’t hang out on the Upper West Side during Sukkot”. Isn’t he being a bit faux modest, I ask, especially when he insists that what he does is comedy and not news? That comes with a certain profile. He thinks about this for a few seconds. “It’s not that I… I mean, it’s satire, so it’s an expression of real feelings. So I don’t mean that in the sense of, ‘I don’t mean this.’ What I mean is, the tools of satire should not be confused with the tools of news. We use hyperbole, but the underlying sentiment has to feel ethically, intentionally correct, otherwise we wouldn’t do it.”

‘Would I watch Fox News? If it was a nuclear winter and it might help my family’

... ... ...

IMNonsuch Alyeska 18 Apr 2015 18:29

I would have gone for Tina Fey, or Amy Poehler, but preferably Tina. I think the show could do with a woman and her talent for absurdity dishep up with a straight face would fit the bill exactly.

IMNonsuch 18 Apr 2015 18:22

It's not possible that he doesn't realise why he is considered the most trusted news source by so many. Underneath the satire, there is a layer of perspective that he offers. And precisely because he offers it, but doesn't thrust it upon his viewers, that is why he is trusted by his audience. And as I wrote above, it's inconceivable that he is unaware of that.

fraac1 tankerton 18 Apr 2015 18:12

I've watched The Daily Show and, until it finished, The Colbert Report for several years by torrenting them as soon as they appeared (very quickly). Both far superior to news commentary we have in Britain.

Nicholas Rios 18 Apr 2015 18:08

Television icon. Modern philosopher. Thanks Mr. Stewart.

Alyeska bjammin187 18 Apr 2015 18:06

I'd offer Samantha Bee double to please please retire from television. She's not funny, she's just irritating.

John Oliver would have been the perfect choice - or, Tina Fey!

Nicholas Rios Wynters 18 Apr 2015 18:04

John Oliver was on Stewart's show. Even hosted it for 3 months. Are you daft?

Westy61 MsTeatime 18 Apr 2015 18:00

Every Iranian government post-revolution has abused the human rights of the people it finds threatening.

That would be every single Iranian government after the CIA/MI6 lead coup that overthrew the democratically elected Mosaddeq government and installed the despot Shah-an-Shah Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi whose CIA trained SAVAK secret police were notorious for torture and executions, wouldn't it?

Bluejil 18 Apr 2015 17:58

“the country’s 24-hour politico–pundit-perpetual-panic-‘conflictinator’.”

Hilarious and not something that only happens in the US, we have it here too and so very true!

I was living in the US during the first Bush term, after 9/11 it was quite frightening, the media pandering to Bush. Stewart was the only voice telling the truth and challenging the media. For sixteen years he continued to do so and he deserves high praise for that, a remarkable and very funny man.

George Silversurfer 18 Apr 2015 17:50

i used to feel Colbert was the right successor to David Letterman...but now i believe John Stewart might have been a better fit.

DCJ1987 18 Apr 2015 17:46

He has multi-millions of dollars, got tired of doing the same O same O, & needs a change in his mid-life. He'll play golf with friends like of Bill O'Reilly, Will Ferrell, Sean Hannity, Tavis Smiley, & Rush Limbaugh. Go on shows like Bill Maher's, Tonight with Jimmy Fallon, & the New Late Night with Stephen Colbert. He'll be paid $275,000.00 for speeches, too.

bjammin187 harpedonaptae 18 Apr 2015 17:38

Just wondering if you voted for G W Bush. If so, what did you confuse for leadership there?

bjammin187 reddan 18 Apr 2015 17:33

Nope. He made Blair squirm. What should he have done? Perform a citizens arrest?

Nicko Thime 18 Apr 2015 17:31

The world is a better place for John Stewart having done the yeoman work he has done for the past years. Those who are his audience have long been recognized as the most informed, mostly due to his efforts.

I am sad to see him leave, but look forward to new blood in the spot as well was wishing this great observer of the American condition the best of luck.

Thanks, Mr. Stewart.

Phil Smith 18 Apr 2015 17:16

I've just read this sentence: "The furore over Noah’s tweets reflects just how high Stewart has set the bar." ... which is of itself a reflection on how Twitter, currently, has the sway, as the lazy current affairs writer's Wikipedia, I think... mind you, I'm writing below the line and it is a little late.

goto100 18 Apr 2015 17:08

Someone who thinks Elizabeth Warren (ex-Republican, neo-liberal supporter of Israel above everything and frenemy of banks) is the solution to all the world's ills, is "left wing"? And the man who "headed off the real left wing at the pass" with his "rally to maintain the status quo at all costs, because, well...hell...I'm more tan alright, Jack", is on the side of the good guys?

Wow, that shark you jumped was big, Guardian.

Thomas19999 Sue Cormack 18 Apr 2015 16:44

Always assuming your intelligence intellect and interests are not restricted UK air space only, please watch a few days of the Daily Show

If you have an interest in US and world events and politics it will help you appreciate the show and laugh more often

SonOfTheDesert percy123 18 Apr 2015 16:42

The Guardian has more readers in the US than anywhere else.

Why is anyone still making a fuss about this?

1984farm 18 Apr 2015 16:37

Over the Iron Curtain, in Poland during the 70-s,the government allowed that kind of political satire on the state radio ( channel 3 ) as a safety valve.

Since I moved to the West ,Jon Stewart and old reruns of Monty Python helped me to adjust to the brave new world.

I hope , one day there will be people just like him.

Wynters Mike Resvit 18 Apr 2015 16:28

Kudos for the irony (although it's a bit too thick), but have you ever heard of John Oliver? I know he's a Brit and so he's probably not made it onto the the US circuit (and someone like Jon Stewart would never be seen dead on the same network, let alone in the same room) but he's pretty good.

RonnieHubbard tankerton 18 Apr 2015 16:12

there are many ways to watch the daily show in the uk

and there really aren't many better comedians than him, but to say he's a comedian is too simplistic. It's like saying Ricky Gervais is just a comedian. Like they are both comedians, but they're a different style of comedian to say Jack Whitehall or Jimmy Carr

There isn't really a British version, (unless you count John Oliver) of him. There isn't a British show anything like his.

Thomas Seymour LetThemSnortCoke 18 Apr 2015 16:11

I was ten when the US participation in the Vietnam war ended. It cast a shadow on US culture and politics for many years after that.

Mike Resvit tankerton 18 Apr 2015 16:09

Yeah, that's why so many Brit comedians are so well known over here...not. We know some of your actors, we know some of your politicians and your royals but pretty much none of your so-called comedians. It's because they're not funny. They simply can't cut it here. Some have tried, a few standup comedians, but they ended up running back to merry 'ol England with their metaphorical tales between their legs. You people wouldn't know funny if it smacked you in your face like a yob high on molly. Your Eurocentric existence precludes you from having much of a personality or a sense of humor.

It's an "American thing, you wouldn't understand" is appropriate here in that life in the US, when compared to every other nationality on earth, is so unique, so different, that foreigners cannot begin to comprehend. You simply have to "live here" to get it and you have to live here for years, if not decades. The rest of the world is like 1960's America when it comes to pretty much everything social. We honestly feel sorry for you guys for being so backwards.

PotholeKid easternCanada 18 Apr 2015 16:04

Yup.. he gives just a little taste of reality... but the truth, well Americans can't handle the truth.

Sue Cormack Eric Walker 18 Apr 2015 16:02

Exactly. I know we export a load of crap to the US and, good on you for rejecting a fair whack of it.

Thomas Seymour BlogAnarchist 18 Apr 2015 16:01

Should have cut off that last sentence at the dash - or maybe just a word shorter.

Tanvirnator Sue Cormack 18 Apr 2015 16:01

Because his integrity and sense of social justice is inspiring.

[Apr 04, 2015] Clintons Unveil Official 2016 Hillary Campaign Button

Apr 02, 2015 | Zero Hedge
Home

Clintons Unveil Official 2016 Hillary Campaign Button

Source: Townhall

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:34 | 5950655 tarpuranus

Abort is more like it

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:36 | 5950665 OldPhart

"CTRL"

Semi-Lady Fascist.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:39 | 5950677 philipat

Ctrl.Alt.Del.................

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:43 | 5950692 kaiserhoff

Time for Hillbilly to "punch out."

(fighter pilot's eject button, use with caution, spine contracts by one full inch, ouch...)

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 20:10 | 5950789 TruxtonSpangler

ALT-F4

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 20:33 | 5950847 1000 splendid suns

The Clinton timeline
http://prorev.com/connex.htm

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 21:29 | 5950951 Buckaroo Banzai

"Arkancide" kills emails too -- it's not just for people anymore!

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:40 | 5950680 kaiserhoff

I already feel Lewinskied.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxD-5z_xHBU

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:36 | 5950658 asiafinancenews

I'm ready for oligarchy!!!

/ sarc

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 20:25 | 5950820 Kirk2NCC1701

You must mean "Cli(n)tocracy".

Hillary: "I did NOT have sex with that woman!"

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:36 | 5950662 ebworthen

Ooof! Looks like the Clinton machine may have broken down.

Guess Wall Street might want Jeb Bush in this time; perpetuate the delusion.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:47 | 5950711 logicalman

It will never happen, but if everyone stayed home and played with themselves on election day, it would change America more than voting ever will.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 20:51 | 5950871 TheReplacement

Who here thinks that the POTUS has any control over the CIA?

Who here thinks that the CIA has any control over the POTUS?

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:44 | 5950697 The man with po...

The cold war never ended. Russia was pillaged and plundered in the 90s and of course the nukes are still pointing at Russia, the airbases surrounding the West of Russia remain, the missile shield...

You get the picture.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:36 | 5950667 Seasmoke

April's Fool Day is very very hard in 2015

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:45 | 5950699 logicalman

The world has become so fucking batshit crazy it's hard to spot an April fools joke, even when looking for 'em.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:37 | 5950671 venturen

Who said "I am not a crook"!

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:48 | 5950714 Bobportlandor

sen. Hillary Clinton finally has admitted she was not named for the famous conqueror of Mount Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary.

http://www.wnd.com/2006/10/38409/

Why is this lying sack of shit anywhere near WDC?

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 20:11 | 5950793 Hohum

Because it's a prerequisite.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:50 | 5950718 nmewn

What is it with this lady and buttons?

She can easily push reset buttons, delete buttons, everyones button...lol...but she can't push simple phone buttons when her "good friend Chris" is under attack with RPG's, mortars & AK's?

Why, its almost like, she preferred him to die.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:52 | 5950726 Miss Expectations

Peregruzka

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 20:02 | 5950758 Miss Expectations
Found another button:

http://www.homebuildinglessons.com/TDBlog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/dua...

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 20:08 | 5950783 Gold Dog

Monica Lewinsky's Ex-Boyfriend's Wife for President

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 20:25 | 5950825 kaiserhoff

nice.

How about "Remember the Monica!"

[Apr 3, 2015] David Michael Green Hey, Reagan Democrats!

Dec 23, 2008 | counterpunch.org

Sometime in the future...

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll just follow me over in this direction, I’d like to show you one of our rarest and most reviled species here at The Human Zoo – it’s the proverbial ‘Reagan Democrat’.

“Most of your younger visitors here at the Zoo have no idea what a Reagan Democrat could be, so I always like to take the time to explain it to them. Indeed, most of them don’t even know what Reagan was, except that they keep hearing the people who wrecked Old America talk about this wrinkled prune faced guy with the Gumby hair as if he were some sort of deity. I get a lot of questions about how someone could actually have done things that don’t sound even remotely plausible, but I generally leave that for the historians to explain, other than to remind people that injecting religious dogma into politics doesn’t just mean stupidity only when it comes to policies related to sexuality, war, taxation, the economy or the environment.

“But already I digress... The Reagan Democrat (technically, Imbecelicus politici) was always the strangest and most contemptuous of species from the habitat of American politics, as you’ve perhaps already heard. Try to imagine another example from the animal kingdom that could be so readily counted upon to bring harm upon itself and others. There are some of course, but usually they are simply ignorant animals, often with very limited cranial capacity.

“The Reagan Democrat, on the other hand, was simply obnoxiously greedy, and took great pains to aggregate to itself as much stuff as was possible, including even meaningless psychological affirmations of its existential worth. It wasn’t very long, of course, before another animal in the jungle noticed this tendency, and established a parasitic relationship with the Reagan Democrat. These others were known as The Wealthy (Plutocratus illegitimi), and they got very rich – though they could still never seem to achieve happiness – by exploiting the opportunities provided to them by the Reagan Democrat. A very mean-spirited and deceitful group of marketing gurus like Lee Atwater and Karl Rove were generally the weapon of choice for accomplishing this.

“Anyhow, before we enter the exhibit, perhaps I should stop now and take any questions. Yes, you, young lady, what can I tell you?”

“Well, sir, you’ve never quite defined what a Reagan Democrat is. And, especially, why someone associated with Mr. Reagan would be a Democrat. Wasn’t he from that other party, the, uh..., the... Regressocans? ...the Degenocrats?”

“Ah, fine questions, indeed, and you’re quite right that I’ve been remiss in not explaining those fundamentals so far. It’s an occupational hazard, I suppose. We zoo curators get so caught up in admiring our own erudition that we sometimes we forget to do our jobs properly!

“Speaking of which, where were we...? Oh, yes, I was going to answer your questions about the meaning of this term. First of all, let’s get that political party name straight. Reagan was a Republican. That’s what makes the creature we’re about to see so interesting. It came from working class roots, often recently arrived just a generation earlier from some very poor Eastern European country or such. Its local social unit had only recently been elevated to the middle class, and this achievement had everything to do with the progressive policies the Democratic Party. For the first time ever, and because of these policies, it had a good job, a house in the suburbs, two cars, and it could send its offspring to institutions of higher education which had previously been reserved exclusively for elites, as represented by Mr. Reagan’s party.

“But it was very, very greedy, and thus differentiated itself off into a new species which was marked by the fact that it could have its underdeveloped psychology readily appealed to for purposes of exploitation by Republican operatives, representing the economic elite species. In fact, it was actually pretty easy to do. All they had to do was throw some line about an evil foreign bogeyman down to the Reagan Democrat, or perhaps a story about uppity darker skinned members of the genus, or some televised ruse about how very, very bad people were out to destroy Christmas, the silly religious holiday of yore... Anything like that would generally work.

“It really didn’t matter very much what ploy was chosen, though the more naked the appeal to greed or vanity, the better. For instance, a handful of elites could carve out for themselves massive chunks of the commonwealth’s (formerly) common wealth, but as long as they tossed a few pennies in the direction of the Reagan Democrat at the same time, the latter was sure to support what amounted to his or her own financial undoing, every time. Likewise, since the Reagan Democrat tended to be the most fearful and the most self-loathing of animals in the human sphere, the basest appeals to its vanity could also buy votes en masse, and on the cheap, too. You just had to make him feel a little bigger than someone else – women, foreigners, brown people, homosexuals – it didn’t really matter. Then you could get his vote and pick his pocket.”

[Mar 30, 2015] Congressman Knows Regular Lobbyist’s Order Without Even Having To Be Told

Mar 26, 2015 | The Onion

Noting that the Valero Energy representative had been coming to his office for more than a decade now, Sen. John Cornyn (R‑TX) told reporters Thursday that he now knows the regular lobbyist’s order without even having to be told.

“Pete always drops in Monday mornings around eight on his way to work—well, you see the same friendly face year after year and you just pick up on what he wants,”

said Cornyn, adding that he’s typically already preparing the lobbyist’s usual order of tax breaks and fossil fuel subsidies even as he’s taking off his coat.

“Every once in a while, he’ll throw me a curveball and ask for a rider slashing regulations on greenhouse gas emissions, but for the most part, he knows what he likes and sticks with it. The way I see it, folks will always come back if you treat them right.”

At press time, the lobbyist had arrived right on time and was getting settled in his usual seat.

[Mar 27, 2015] U.S. Worried About Living Up To Netanyahu Campaign Promises

Mar 18, 2015 | The Onion
WASHINGTON—Saying the Likud Party leader had set Israeli citizens’ expectations extremely high in the run up to his reelection Tuesday, top-level sources expressed their worry Wednesday about whether the United States would actually be able to live up to Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s campaign promises.

“Given the ambitious list of security and spending initiatives that Netanyahu guaranteed Israeli voters on the campaign trail, I think it could be very difficult for the U.S. to come through on all of them; the pressure’s really going to be on America not to disappoint his constituents,” said U.S. State Department spokesman Eric Patel, explaining that, realistically, the U.S. would likely have trouble following through on Netanyahu’s repeated vows on the campaign trail to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon at any cost and continuing to thwart the creation of a Palestinian state.

“He made a bold personal pledge to every voter that Israel’s military capabilities would be considerably bolstered under his watch, which is going to be real tough for us to accomplish. I’m afraid we might end up having to eat his words.” With Netanyahu’s extensive agenda laid out before the U.S., Patel added that America would likely just have to increase its annual $3.1 billion in aid to Israel a little further and hope for the best.

[Mar 26, 2015] Netanyahu Assures Critics He Still Has Utmost Respect For U.S. Money

Mar 2, 2015 | The Onion

In a concerted effort to ease growing tensions between the two nations, Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu assured his critics Monday that he still has the utmost respect for U.S. money. “Relations between our two countries have at times been strained, but I promise you all that the entire Israeli government, myself included, still holds a high opinion of the United States’ cash,” said Netanyahu, emphasizing that his speech to Congress was not intended to show any disrespect for American funding whatsoever. “I appreciate everything U.S. money has done for Israel.

Though we come at this issue from different perspectives, I have no doubt that we can overcome this disagreement and maintain positive relations between Israel and U.S. economic aid, as we always have.” Netanyahu added that he also maintained great respect for the U.S. military’s weapons.

[Mar 25, 2015] Hillary Clinton Hints At Presidential Ambitions By Concealing Information From American People

Mar 4, 2015 | The Onion

WASHINGTON—Fueling further speculation this week that she has her sights set on the Oval Office, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is said to have hinted at her presidential ambitions by concealing a vast trove of information from the American people. “By using a personal email account to keep records out of the hands of investigators and the U.S. populace, Clinton is making it resoundingly clear that she has presidential aspirations,” said political analyst Stuart Rothenberg, adding that Clinton’s efforts to obfuscate basic facts and hide thousands of documents from taxpayers for years on end demonstrate her capacity to successfully perform the duties of the commander-in-chief. “Clinton is showing voters that she’s ready and willing to circumvent regulations in order to keep Americans in the dark on important issues and prevent anyone from uncovering potentially incriminating evidence. This is definitely her most unambiguous declaration of her intentions at a presidential run.” Rothenberg added that Clinton’s flimsy justifications for her actions and her efforts to deflect blame further prove that she will handily win the Democratic nomination in 2016.

[Mar 08, 2015] Hillary email scandal

[Jan 31, 2015] Army sets up new brigade 'for information age'

BBC News

quietoaktree

Officer --" Corporal Jones !"

Corporal--" Yes SIR !"

Officer -- " 30 ´dislikes´on Facebook, 10 BBC
´Referrals´and 5 ´Removals´for breaking the House Rules --just isn´t good enough to protect this country on your 4 hour shift !"

Corporal --" Sorry sir, but 2 contributions WERE accepted."

[Jan 25, 2015] SATIRE 10 Reasons Why Victoria Nuland Should Be Seen as Stalin of Today

See also "Fuck the EU": State Department neocons show EU its real place
Jan 25, 2015 | Russia Insider
10. Both use made up names. Stalin’s family name was Jugashvilli, Nuland’s ancestor’s name was Nudelman. The ancestors of both Nuland and Stalin came from the Russian empire, which probably gave them both the idea that they have a special knowledge of how to handle Russia.

9. Nuland’s right hand man happens to be her husband, Robert Kagan. Stalin’s right hand man was a fellow communist, named Lazar Kagan(ovich). Kagan co-authored “Project for a New American Century” and he obviously wants to realized his vision for Ukraine by implementing what might be called, “amerikanizatsiia,” that is, the process of bringing in the officials from US and other countries to run Ukraine along the American lines. In his turn, Kaganovich was the First Secretary of the Communist Party of the Ukrainian SSR from 1925-1928 and was expected to usher in “New Soviet Century” through the politics of "ukrainizatsiya": creating a new ruling Soviet elite for Ukraine, the elite brought in primarily from other places.

8. Both are clear ideologues: Nuland of “neocon movement”, Stalin of bolshevism. Both went to schooling with the masters and chief ideologues. Nuland worked closely with Rumsfeld and Cheney, starting as Vice President’s senior aide, and eventually serving as his deputy national security adviser. In his essay for Financial Times, Geoff Dyer quotes an former colleague in the Obama administration State Department , who observed that “I have no doubt that when she sits down for a family dinner, she is the biggest neocon at the table.” While Lenin’s widower, Krupskaia, joked that had Lenin re-appeared when Stalin was already in charge, he would have had Lenin put to jail for deviating from the party course.

7. Both are willing to see through numerous deaths in Ukraine to get the territory under their influence. Stalin together with Kaganovich unleashed forced collectivization upon Ukraine, resulting in mass death of peasants, known as Holodomor. Nuland’s and her fellow neocons’ forced “americanization” resulted in the civil war between Donbass and Kiev, that so far has claimed thousands of lives, destroyed infrastructure, and produced hundreds of thousands of refugees.

6. They both tend to be aggressive and demanding and refuse to take no for an answer. Consequently, they prefer to squeeze their opponents till they break. Geoff Dyer’s quotes Dimitri Simes, president of the Center for the National Interest in Washington DC who observed: “It is clear that her whole approach is to push Russia so hard that it has no choice but to accommodate the US.” Stalin’s ability to squeeze his opponents is, of course, proverbial.

5. According to Stalin’s critic, Abdurakhman Aftorkhanov, Stalin made two mistakes during the WWII. He showed Europe to Russians (soldiers who saw how prosperous it was and realized that they were duped). And he showed Russians to Europe – which got scared, and started NATO, and other programs. The fate of Russia and the rest of the world has changed as the result of these mistakes. Someday, Nuland’s critics will charge her with accomplishing a similar feat. She has fully exposed to the Western world Ukraine’s lawlessness, corruption, and neofascism. And she has amply demonstrated Western World to both Ukrainians and Russians, who will never trust it again: seeing its unscrupulous meddling into their affairs.

4. Both are too arrogant and impatient to waste their time of diplomacy, and prefer to cut to the chase. They dismiss the possible opposition or obstacles with the similar terms. “F..k EU,” famously observed Nuland, in response to the questions about EU attitude toward the regime change in Ukraine. Stalin never hesitated to resort to the foul language, calling Lenin’s wife, “syphilitic whore,” or bragging that in the course of WWII he managed to outsmart Great Britain: “Stalin could always raise a laugh from his courtiers by saying, as he often did: 'We f***ed England!'“

3. Both prefer to rule by decree and appoint the people to the offices. While Nuland boldly proclaimed from the comfort of her office that Yatseniuk will be the future leader of Ukraine: “Yats is the man,” Stalin, of course, went even further, not only assigning Kaganovich, Khrushchev, and others to run Ukraine, but threating Lenin’s widow, Krupskaia, that if she continues to challenge him, he’ll appoint another woman as Lenin’s widow.

2. Similarly to Stalin, who for the sake of strategic purposes made the deal with Nazis (Ribbentrop), Nuland held various meetings with Ukraine’s Right Sector and other ultra-nationalist, neo-fascist organizations; and seems to be very cozy with Svoboda leader, Oleh Tyahnybok.

1. And finally, both Stalin and Nuland tend to present themselves in stunning visual imagery as the good caring parents of the new nation, easily duping the gullible locals. Here is Stalin surrounded by admiring Soviet children who are forever grateful to him for their happy childhood, and here is Nuland, surrounded by happy Ukrainians, whom she feeds with pastry as they are ready to embark on the path toward the new statehood.

Stalin cookies vs Nuland cookies (or Ukrainians as clueless children)

[Jan 24, 2015] This Great Democratizer Kerry

Compare

[Jan 23, 2015]

The president of the country that calls itself "democratic" praises the most absolutist monarchy ;-). This is a good theme for Saturday Night or John Stuard show... I think US president reach level of contempt' of its citizens that was previous achieved only by the Secretary of CPUSU Brezhnev.
Zero Hedge

Just released by the White House:

Statement by the President on the Death of King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz

It is with deep respect that I express my personal condolences and the sympathies of the American people to the family of King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz and to the people of Saudi Arabia.

King Abdullah’s life spanned from before the birth of modern Saudi Arabia through its emergence as a critical force within the global economy and a leader among Arab and Islamic nations. He took bold steps in advancing the Arab Peace Initiative, an endeavor that will outlive him as an enduring contribution to the search for peace in the region. At home, King Abdullah's vision was dedicated to the education of his people and to greater engagement with the world.

As our countries worked together to confront many challenges, I always valued King Abdullah’s perspective and appreciated our genuine and warm friendship. As a leader, he was always candid and had the courage of his convictions. One of those convictions was his steadfast and passionate belief in the importance of the U.S.-Saudi relationship as a force for stability and security in the Middle East and beyond. The closeness and strength of the partnership between our two countries is part of King Abdullah’s legacy.

May God grant him peace.

And while Obama was impressed by Abdullah's vision to the "education of his people" he had no comment on the one US "ally" which has beheaded a record number of people in recent years making even ISIS blush by comarpison, as reported in US Ally, Saudi Arabia Beheads 87 In 2014, Up Over 10% From 2013 and also Record Beheadings And The Mass Arrest Of Christians.

Truthseeker2

The USA Supports A Fanatical Dictatorship In Saudi Arabia

Mike in GA

Isn't this the quickest Obama has ever put out a statement of condolence for anyone, ever? Just happens to be the Keeper of Mecca; the living guardian of the islamic "faith".

Barry's lettin his roots grow out again.

Thu, 01/22/2015 - 20:38 | 5694686 knukles

Good catch.
Hell, he's quicker here than Ferguson!

Well, after all, he did say in one of his books that when the chips were down, he'd side with his Muzzie brethren. In his own words. Well, maybe Bill Ayres..... but just as good.

[Jan 23, 2015] Britain ruling elite is king of hypocrisy

Actually Barry is a strong competitor as for level of hypocrisy

et Al says: , January 23, 2015 at 4:45 pm
Can’t buy me love

The Beatles.

So why are British flags on public buildings in the UK at half-mast?

I guess decades worth of Saudi Sponsored state terrorism is worth something after all.

https://news.yahoo.com/uk-decision-lower-flags-honour-saudi-king-stirs-155854181.html

He who pays the piper….

Artist's Impression Of President Obama's Thoughts During The State of The Union Speech

Zero Hedge

Selected Skeptical Comments

Playtime's Over

What "type"......the Barry type? Psychopath?

Grouchy Marx

Saw this on a bumper sticker today: If Obama stopped lying, he'd be mute!

[Dec 31, 2014] The year in Jon Stewart Still the king of political comedy

Salon.com
This year saw the “fake news” landscape shift in unexpected ways, with the departure of “The Colbert Report,” and the swift rise of John Oliver. But through all of the changes, we’ve had the steady, but never boring, voice of Jon Stewart leading the way.

Since 1999, Jon Stewart has been at the helm of “The Daily Show,” offering an outlet for disaffected liberals and helping to foster an entire generation of comedy stalwarts. And while some have grown tired of his trademark snark, there is still no doubting his impact on popular culture.

This year was an eventful one for Stewart, who branched outside of the world of comedy with his directorial debut, “Rosewater.” More so than ever, people are wondering what “The Daily Show” looks like after Jon Stewart. But that time hasn’t come just yet.

Here were his best moments from 2014:

One of the most amazing aspects of Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show” is its ability to nurture, support and elevate an impressive group of comedians. This was made quite apparent in 2014. Here’s a taste of the incredible voices of “The Daily Show”:

“Jessica’s Feminized Atmosphere” shows why Jessica Williams is the greatest.

Farewell, Stephen Colbert. (And hello, Stephen Colbert.) by Hank Stuever

The Washington Post

The show was so good and so meticulously performed that you could, in fact, not watch it. That, too, is high praise. It’s rare for a show and a performer to become so enmeshed with the zeitgeist that ratings become a moot point. Only the most loyal citizens of the so-called Colbert Nation truly needed their nightly dose of the layered political satire that Colbert mastered in the guise of “Stephen Colbert,” a narcissistic, conservative blowhard spouting his fact-averse commentary on the day’s news.

The rest of us could instead check in from time to time and make sure his carefully constructed outrage and indignation were still very much attuned to the degrees of viral outrage and deep indignation that have come to define American life in the early 21st century. The Colbert era was in the air as much as on the air, as the show’s best work took morning victory laps on Internet news feeds.

The joke caught on and never exhausted itself. What we were seeing was the perfect indictment of the world of political punditry, yes, but also a send-up of our inflexibility when it came to opinions, reason and the truth. “Truthiness,” an early invention of the Colbert shtick, allowed its host to have it both ways, as a buffoon who holds objectionable opinions that he intends his liberal-leaning audience to object to by pretending to bask in his jingo-wingo patriotism. “Anyone can read the news to you,” Colbert said on the show’s first episode. “I promise to feel the news at you.”

“The Colbert Report” was both a spin-off from and essential companion piece to “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,” which airs before it. Together — yet pretending to be ideologically apart — Stewart and Colbert occupied a rare, perfect melding of the serious and the satirical during a period in which the country was at war abroad and experiencing a series of nervous breakdowns at home.

... ... ...

“We know that polls are just statistics that reflect what people are thinking in ‘reality,’ ” Colbert told the audience at the White House Correspondents Association dinner in 2006. “And reality has a well-known liberal bias.” His monologue then proceeded to strafe an audience filled with media people, politicians, cabinet members, generals, a president and a first lady. It was at once quietly horrifying and frankly beautiful.

After that night, it seemed as if our world had sorted itself in yet one more way: People who got Colbert and the dolts who didn’t; people who were in on the act and people who were congenitally impervious to it

... ... ...

In personal moments, such as a videotaped Q&A with Google employees two years ago, Colbert referred to the character he played on “The Colbert Report” as “a well-intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot. … He is living an unexamined life and that’s fine with him.”

... ... ...

Watching his final shows, it’s clear that Colbert the actor intends to seal the “Stephen Colbert” character away forever. “The Colbert Report” is leaving a world largely unchanged; almost eerily, the long-awaited report on CIA torture arrived as a grim flashback to the era in which the show began. The nation made almost no progress on the biggies — the wars, the environment, the bickering, the wealth gap. Noting that China had released a statement asking, “How long can America pretend to be a human rights champion?” Colbert replied: “Uh, I don’t know — for about as long as I can pretend I don’t know who made my iPhone?”

Hank Stuever has been The Post's TV critic since 2009. He joined the paper in 1999 as a writer for the Style section, where he has covered an array of popular (and unpopular) culture across the nation.

[Dec 17, 2014] New Black Friday or How To Save Up To 100% On "Purchases"

[Dec 17, 2014] Neoconica" - America For The New Millennium

12/17/2014 | zerohedge.com

"...so many still maintain that America is the greatest nation in the world. They swear that America represents all that is good; freedom, democracy, merit based capitalism and the rights of the individual. That is true America does represent such things. However, it is fraudulent to consider our current nation America. America was a concept that promoted all that is good. And so it would seem that the nation in which they find themselves cannot be America. Their nation today represents the will of the political class at all costs, period. Their sole motivation is themselves. Very different from America. And so perhaps a renaming on the nation is required, at least until or if the people decide to take it back and reintroduce the world to the concept that is America for as discussed below you cannot destroy a concept and so there is hope to bring her back. But until then we need a name for this geographic region and its new societal system... It seems"Neoconica" is most fitting."

[Dec 11, 2014] Here’s how the European powers (including Imperial Russia) and Japan were portrayed in their concerted attempt to divvy up the Chinese Empire at the turn of the 20th century.

Moscow Exile, December 10, 2014 at 10:51 pm
Here’s how the European powers (including Imperial Russia) and Japan were portrayed in their concerted attempt to divvy up the Chinese Empire at the turn of the 20th century.

That Chinese pie in the drawing could very well be replaced by a Russian one nowadays and a symbolic figure for the USA would have to be included, of course, to replace the one portraying imperial Russia.

December 10, 2014 at 10:52 pm
It’s a French political cartoon, by the way, hence “Chine” for “China”.
colliemum , December 10, 2014 at 11:03 pm
I love the way a grim Victoria locks eyes with an even grimmer Prussian, probably Bismarck.
Look how sweet La France looks, pure innocence, and how gentle is the Tsar …
Btw – the Germans did get a Chinee ‘colony’, and were told to bloody well fight during the Boxer uprising: “Germans to the front” – that is a call which would have the present-day Germans rolling on the floor with mirth, given the state of the Bundeswehr.

Such cartoons could of course never be made today, because they’re racist, innit, and demeaning. But this does depict the mindset still prevalent in the Western upper levels of ‘Mandarindom’, replacing the gentle Tsar with a very gentle Uncle Sam and the ‘Chinaman’ with a Russian peasant.

Plus ça change and all that …

Moscow Exile , December 10, 2014 at 11:26 pm
No, it’s Kaiser Bill with his patented waxed moustache with the ends pointing upwards to the heavens. It really was patented as well!

As regards the Boxer Rebellion and the German participation therein, that’s how the Germans got labelled as “Huns”, because the daft Kaiser made a rather silly speech (Hunnenrede) to his expeditionary force before it embarked for China:

Bremerhaven, July 27, 1900
Great overseas tasks have fallen to the new German Empire, tasks far greater than many of my countrymen expected. The German Empire has, by its very character, the obligation to assist its citizens if they are being set upon in foreign lands. The tasks that the old Roman Empire of the German nation was unable to accomplish, the new German Empire is in a position to fulfill. The means that make this possible is our army.

It has been built up during thirty years of faithful, peaceful labour, following the principles of my blessed grandfather. You, too, have received your training in accordance with these principles, and by putting them to the test before the enemy, you should see whether they have proved their worth in you. Your comrades in the navy have already passed this test; they have shown that the principles of your training are sound, and I am also proud of the praise that your comrades have earned over there from foreign leaders. It is up to you to emulate them.

A great task awaits you: you are to revenge the grievous injustice that has been done. The Chinese have overturned the law of nations; they have mocked the sacredness of the envoy, the duties of hospitality in a way unheard of in world history. It is all the more outrageous that this crime has been committed by a nation that takes pride in its ancient culture. Show the old Prussian virtue. Present yourselves as Christians in the cheerful endurance of suffering. May honour and glory follow your banners and arms. Give the whole world an example of manliness and discipline.

You know full well that you are to fight against a cunning, brave, well-armed, and cruel enemy. When you encounter him, know this: no quarter will be given. Prisoners will not be taken. Exercise your arms such that for a thousand years no Chinese will dare to look cross-eyed at a German. Maintain discipline. May God’s blessing be with you, the prayers of an entire nation and my good wishes go with you, each and every one. Open the way to civilization once and for all! Now you may depart! Farewell, comrades!”

The unofficial but correct version of the crucial passage reads as follows:

“Should you encounter the enemy, he will be defeated! No quarter will be given! Prisoners will not be taken! Whoever falls into your hands is forfeited. Just as a thousand years ago the Huns under their King Attila made a name for themselves, one that even today makes them seem mighty in history and legend, may the name German be affirmed by you in such a way in China that no Chinese will ever again dare to look cross-eyed at a German.”

[Source: Johannes Prenzler, ed., Die Reden Kaiser Wilhelms II. [The Speeches of Kaiser Wilhelm II]. 4 volumes. Leipzig, n.d., 2. pp. 209-12.]

See: German History in Documents and Images (GHDI): Wilhelmine Germany and the First World War (1890-1918)

THe Hun reference was removed from the official records after the shit had hit the fan because of what the Kaiser had said. However, the unofficial version of what Wilhelm II said before his troops at Bremerhaven is still accessible:

Unofficial version of speech reprinted in Manfred Görtemaker, Deutschland im 19. Jahrhundert. Entwicklungslinien [Germany in the 19th Century. Paths in Development]. Opladen 1996. Schriftenreihe der Bundeszentrale für politische Bildung, vol. 274, p. 357.

Translation: Thomas Dunlap

Source: GDHI (above)

Some think that Merkel’s latest tirade against Russia is similar to the Kaiser’s “Hun Speech”:

Merkel’s “Hun Speech” against Russia

Moscow Exile, December 10, 2014 at 11:03 pm

I wonder if the cartoonist has made Queen Victoria and Kaiser Wilhelm II look very similar because she was, in fact, his maternal grandmother?

It’s interesting too that the cartoonist has shown the Kaiser grasping his carving knife with both hands.

Political cartoonists often made it clear that the unfortunate Kaiser had a withered left arm, the result of his clumsily manipulated breech birth.

The Kaiser quite successfully concealed this defect by means of special tailoring and having his shorter “dead” left arm covered by padded clothing and his gloved left hand attach to his jacket, tunic, sword handle or whatever, as can be seen below in this 1905 picture taken of him and Tsar Nicholas II, in which photograph the two emperors are wearing the military uniforms of each other’s country:

colliemum , December 10, 2014 at 11:05 pm

I tend to see the fierce Prussian depicting Bismarck rather than Willy Two, but that’s just me …
Moscow Exile , December 10, 2014 at 11:53 pm
It couldn’t be Bismarck being depicted because he was no longer Kanzler when the Boxer Rebellion took place in 1900: he’d been ditched by Willy 10 years earlier in 1890:

A Bismarck tash:

A Kaiser Bill tash:

With patented waxed turned-up ends!

The man himself:

Kaiser Bill’s moustache caused much mirth amongst some in the UK:

http://trove.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/article/33287266Kaiser’s Moustache Altered

From the “Daily Mail” natürlich!

As a matter of fact, I’m quite fond of Kaiser Bill. I think he was basically a decent bloke – but he had “problems”, not least of which was his disabilility.

It would have been far better if his father had not died shortly after having become Kaiser.

Wilhelm II’s father, Kaiser Friedrich III, died of throat cancer after having only been Kaiser and King of Prussia for a mere 3 months in 1888. His wife was Queen Victoria’s eldest daughter.

Friedrich was extremely liberal in his politics. I remember reading somewhere that old Queen Vic used to admonish her mob whenever they strarted ridiculing Wilhelm II’s posturing, telling them that they should never forget how decent a sort “Uncle Fritz” had been and what a pity it had been that he had died so young – and that his dickhead son had ascended the throne. (My words, at the end, not Her Majesty’s.)

Moscow Exile , December 10, 2014 at 11:56 pm
Bum link about the Kaiser’s moustache!

Here it is again:

Kaiser’s Moustache Altered

yalensis , December 11, 2014 at 1:56 am
This is how Fritz Lang depicted German (on the left) vs. Hun (on the right) in his great film, “Kriemhilds Rache”:

(P.S. – the image is not as racist as it looks. In the film, Atilla is the only actual noble character. Although the Germans are given a pass for their odious behavior, on the grounds that, whichever side they are fighting on, they are bound by an unbreakable oath.)

[Oct 05, 2014] Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Drones (HBO)

This hardly can be called humor. Those killing probably will not make the USA new friends, no matter how much NED and USAID would spend for the promotion of democracy in those countries...

Pabluzcu

This clip is perfect to have a good debate about a serious issue, but we have to suffer the fucking trolls ruining the conversation. When is Google going to acknowledge that they have ruined the youtube comments? ...

Federico Pistono

"Right now we have the executive branch making a claim that it has the right to kill anyone, anywhere on Earth, at any time, for secret reasons based on secret evidence, in a secret process undertaken by unidentified officials.

That frightens me." This is how Rosa Brooks, a Georgetown professor and former Pentagon official under President Obama, explained the US policy on drone strikes during a congressional hearing last year.

[Jun 11, 2014] Hillary Clinton's Health Problems Interview

June 11, 2014 | TeamCoco.com

ABC's Diane Sawyer drilled the former Secretary of State about brain damage rumors, but Hillary seems fine. Mostly.

[Mar 02, 2014] Ukraine’s leader urges Putin to pull back military, mobilizes reservists

The Washington Post
bingham60

Referee as a weapon of mass destruction

Olympics-Anger at hockey goal melts political ice in Russia Reuters

Anger over a disallowed goal in the Winter Olympic ice hockey has united host nation Russia, though not for the reasons President Vladimir Putin would have wanted.

The American referee's refusal to count what would have been a winning goal for Russia against the United States on Saturday outraged fans from across the political divide, breaking down barriers in a way that almost nothing else can in Russia.

"The puck was in the goal. What an abomination. Cheating before the whole world! Disgusting!" Alexei Pushkov, a senior pro-Putin member of parliament, wrote in comments on Twitter lambasting the referee.

At the other end of the political spectrum, opposition leader Alexei Navalny backed the torrent of abuse about the disallowed goal that quickly flooded Twitter: "I go along with everything that's been said about the referee

.

[Feb 13, 2014] Man Responsible For Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead In Sochi - The Daily Currant

The Daily Currant — a satire site that does well to mask the fact that it is satire — has struck again ... It fooled this time even more people then usual including an army of Facebook lemmings.
olympic-rings-mishap-doctored-by-russian-tv

The man responsible for operating the Olympic Rings during last night’s Winter Olympics opening ceremony in Russia was found dead today.

According to local reports the body of Boris Avdeyev was found his hotel room early this morning with multiple stab wounds....

Avdeyev was a technical specialist responsible for the Olympic Ring spectacle, which embarrassingly malfunctioned last night. Five animatronic snowflakes were supposed to transform into Olympic Rings. The first four functioned properly but the fifth snowflake failed to change shape.

Although his body was badly mangled and the wounds were consistent with a struggle, so far officials say they don't suspect foul play.

“Sure there were stab wounds and bruises all over the body,” admits the lead investigator on the case. “But who knows what caused them. Maybe he tripped and fell on a set of knives. Right now we’re ruling this an accidental death.

“It’s terrible when accidents like this happen. But then again, maybe Mr. Avdeyev should have thought twice before he screwed up the Olympics. Accidents tend to happen to people who betray Russia.”

Despite the government’s story, fellow hotel guests reported hearing a struggle in Avdeyev’s room around 3 a.m. local time.

[Feb 09, 2014] Then and now

[Feb 03, 2014] Now Pussy Riot are free, Russia's culture wars must end by Natalia Antonova

23 December 2013 | The Guardian
Julian1972 -> StevHep
Pussy Riot and 'Culture' in the same sentence?

It must be Christmas!

blessmycottonsocks
Oh I see; it was a cultural thing!

And I thought filming yourself in a supermarket inserting frozen chicken legs into your vagina was just (distasteful) exhibitionism.

Ber10000

Ah, the backlash has, er, arrived,and it's, like, disturbing.

Which comes first the backlash or the crime.

Suggested headline.

"Punk "band" fears backlash ahead of tomorrow's simulated masturbation gig in Orthodox church."

[Jan 29, 2014] Vladimir Putin tells Brussels to stay out of Ukraine's political crisis by Ian Traynor and Oksana Grytsenko

Correspondents of major Western MSM are now used by their bosses as sort of a dead skunk that a feuding neighbor throws into your yard.
28 January 2014 | The Guardian

putinhero

Putin is completely anti-gay.

First of all he has stopped Western interference in Syria. That was totally anti-gay.

Then he has restored the Orthodox Church in Russia, after 80 years of Churches being forcefully destroyed by Communists. That was totally anti-gay.

Then Putin has worked for peace with other nations. Totally anti-gay.

But Putin defends Russian interests. Totally anti-gay.

Also now we have British, French, Americans all attacking Ukraine and causing riots. They hope to make a civil war that will then affect Russia. That will only cause a repeat of the Russian revolution in Russia today. That is all the worst traits of Bolshevism brought back to today. Totally gay.

[Jan 19, 2014] What other accusations "partners" are hung on the Sochi Olympics ?

Jan 17, 2014 | topwar.ru

Sorry but again, we need to touch the theme of Olympics in Sochi...

Well, what we can do if new reasons to discuss it was provided by our foreign "partners" , many of which just can't sleep because this most important international sporting event is held in Russia

One imagining that in Russia on every corner people with a long beard in hard boots and ugly "fufayka" , tied with hemp instead of morning coffee drink the blood of gays and transvestites and lesbians, sharing it with tame bears.

Other are preoccupied with the vision of Vladimir Putin personally shooting from "Maxim" machine gun right on the Red Square Russian sportsmen who lost their events on Olympics.

Yet another can't sleep because of cost overruns that the sad fact that gold and treasure which were safely hold in the distant mines since the time of Ivan the Terrible were wasted on Sochi Olympics; by modest estimated no less that a kvadragintillion dollars ...

[Dec 16, 2013] Only Orwell and Pelevin and able to explain Ukranian Maidan

Dec 15, 2013 | House of Sergant Pavlov

What is a " peaceful protest ", ie spell come in large numbers from Pindostana organizers or other coup supporters in a surreal state?

This Orwellian principles according to the " truth - it's a lie ," "World - this is war ," etc.
Let's assume that protesters captured the New York City Hall. In a peaceful, naturally way. Which is a lie, or more correctly - an oxymoron.

Now let's assume that the American special forces are not allowed to throw out rebels and let officials in their offices in order to manage the municipal economy. Transport, running water, etc.

Now let's assume that all U.S. media with the exception spit on and redicult Bloomberg when he tried to remove from the city Hall a bunch of comfortably feeling thier Republican homeless. Which are constantly dumped from the other states sympathetic to Republicans. And those state provide them with instructions - what they should do .

And how Democrat Obama reacts to the the situation of thousand of provincial Rednecks delivered by buses from the most loyal Republicans states to the City Hall? Of course, the first thing to do for him is to fire Bloomberg, Who betrayed his confidence . Well, if he was expelled from City Hall. Never mind that at this time he was trying to organize at least some of the economic life of the city offices prefectures. Bloomberg is a convenient scapegoat.

Meanwhile, on Wall Street Republican rural people from Colorado Springs organizes five-meter barricades of shit, enclosed by barbed wire. On Broadway Avenue , on Wall Street , etc. In the format of " peaceful protest ." How it can be otherwise? After all Obama did not signed important international agreement. That's why Rednecks protest.

Obama is now deeply ashamed. He is ready to betray everybody and dismiss Bloomberg , and the CIA and the FBI. And all his Democratic Party. Just to remain the president.

At rallies he is mocked by visiting senators and deputies from Holland, Germany , Burkina Faso and others. Many outstanding historical personality come to help protesters.

Against the wall Obama gives the order to punish all his FBI and others three letter agencies . And of couse to create a monument to all this nasty crowd around City Hall, who is defecating directly on the streets. Monument is planned in the form of a five-meter bronze barricades. And still he will be overthrow the next day.

Yes. That allegory demoxtrates pretty clearly that Yanukovych is absolutely fine character, with the only problem that self-esteem is not known to him, but self preservation does. He does not feel the pulse of history . And , most importantly, he betrayed and betraying his own supporters. It is unlikely that such a policy has a future.

The American Way of Manners

Col. Manners Answers Your Questions on the Etiquette of War, Nuclear Threats, and Surveillance

By Colonel Manners (with a helping hand from Tom Engelhardt)

[Editor’s Note: Many publications have advice columnists, but none has our old friend Colonel Manners (ret.), whose experience in military and surveillance matters is evident from his impressive CV (unfortunately, a classified document). His assignment: to answer questions from Americans puzzled by the abstruse intricacies of the American way of war and by the etiquette, manners, and language of the arcane national security world of Washington. Here is a sampling of his recent correspondence.]

Dear Col. Manners,

I’m a 17-year-old high school student with an interest in American records. After college, I’m hoping to land a job with Guinness World Records. So here’s my question: I notice that news reports regularly refer to the Afghan War as the “longest in American history.” How is that possible? The war began in October 2001 and it’s now December 2013. Counting on my fingers, I get 12 years. The Vietnam War began in 1961 and didn’t end until 1975 (with those famous images of helicopters going over the side of an aircraft carrier). That’s 14 years by my count. I’m proud of American records of every sort, but this doesn’t seem like one. What am I doing wrong?

Proud in Toledo

Dear Proud,

You have a lot to be proud of and, as far as I can tell, you have just the right number of fingers. It’s true that, historically, we’ve been numero uno among record-breaking countries. Still, sometimes we get a little overeager. This is one of those cases. Clearly, those claiming the much desired “longest” title for Afghanistan are cheating by counting the Vietnam War as starting in 1964 with Congress’s Gulf of Tonkin resolution, or 1965 when the first official U.S. combat troops entered that country, not in 1961, when significant numbers of armed “advisors” initially arrived.

But don’t lose hope! Let me offer you some future numbers to be proud of. After all, at this moment the Obama administration is negotiating to keep 15,000 of our troops in Afghanistan as trainers and to hunt al-Qaeda until 2024 (“or beyond,” as some reports say). If, despite the machinations of that country’s emotionally unhinged president, they succeed... well, you can do the math yourself. That’s a 23-year war, so put it in the American record books -- and by a long shot.

But don’t stop there. After all, the U.S. fought the Soviets in a fierce proxy war in Afghanistan from 1979 to 1989. I don’t know Guinness World Records rules, but if that decade is admissible, you’ve just left the 30-year war of the Vietnamese against the French and the Americans in the trash heap of modern records, and the European Thirty Years’ War of the seventeenth century in the dust. I won’t claim that somewhere there hasn’t been a longer war, but this would still be one for the global record books. And keep in mind that all of this has taken place in the landlocked backlands of the planet, a place most Americans couldn’t have located on a map before 1979.

Or let me put it this way and be a proud grandpa while I’m at it: my granddaughter Edna was born in October 2001. Before 2024, if all goes well, she could have at least three tours of duty in Afghanistan! So I say: 2024 or bust!

Yours in American Pride,

Col. Manners

[Nov 30, 2013] http://rustoria.ru/post/zabavnye-karikatury-na-putina-i-obamu/?utm_source=smi2_world&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=world#2

[Nov 05, 2013] WAPO New Docs Show NSA Infiltration of Google and Yahoo Accounts Worldwide

Nov 04, 2013 | Daily Kos
DartagnanFollow

http://www.washingtonpost.com/...

This Agency is completely out of control.

CIndyCasella

Google is the NSA dressed up as Grandma from the

looks of things here.

Grandma, what big ears you have! The better to record you, my dear.

Oh, Grandma, what big eyes you have! The better to film you with my dear!

Information is the currency of democracy. ~Thomas Jefferson

Jim Riggs

Google and Yahoo have information about me?

I'm fucking outraged!

[Nov 04, 2013] The country doesn't like Republicans? Well, Republicans don't like the country either, by Dante Atkins

[Oct 28, 2013] Jon Stewart Savages Ted Cruz For Possible Presidential RunWhy Limit Yourself To Being Hated

"nothing but a dirty syrup-guzzler,"
Jun 4, 2013

By Your Colleagues? Jon Stewart targeted Texas senator Ted Cruz over a possible presidential run in 2016 that has people already lining up behind the conservative firebrand. For one thing, Stewart pointed out Cruz isn't exactly the most liked senator by either party right now. But perhaps more importantly, Ted Cruz was born in Canada.Stewart took on the surprising level of animosity Cruz has garnered from both the left and right, including John McCain calling him a "wacko bird." Stewart mocked Cruz raising questions about Chuck Hagel's possible terrorist ties by piling on, "He might fuck puppies, I don't know!"And yet, the man described as the "most hated" in the Senate is considering a run for the presidency. Stewart asked, "Why limit yourself to being hated by your colleagues when you could be hated by the whole country?"

Stewart mocked Cruz's patriotism as so "American as apple pie that the government has laced with flouride to dull you into handing over your guns." But there is one little snag with a potential Cruz candidacy: HE WAS BORN IN CANADA.

Stewart tore into Cruz as "nothing but a dirty syrup-guzzler," and said that there's only one person who can take this issue head-on: Donald "Fuckface von Clownstick" Trump. who should look into that? TRUMP

[Oct 27, 2013] Jon Stewart Destroys Fox News For Throwing Out The Bill Of Rights

YouTube

threadysparrow

there is also a sense of superiority in our culture. We like to think that we are better than every other country. The funny thing is that we are trailing behind in science and education. What good is a country if it has a sub-par educational system? The smart thing to do would be to not feel like America is #1. The smart thing to do would be to realize that we are all in this shit together and that your place of birth isn't indicative of your greatness.

[Oct 27, 2013] Bill Maher Sheds Some Light On The Shutdown & The Tea Party

Oct 9, 2013 | YouTube

Bill Maher provides some insight on how the government shutdown came about and why its funny.

Bill Maher Poor Mitt Romney... - YouTube

[Aug 28, 2013] Why the Rush to War Strategic

Strategic Culture Foundation

The intercepted emails showing Assad telling his commander to gas ‘em all. Let’s hear the phone conversations played out in public:

Assad: "Go ahead, commander, do the deed. It’ll be a gas."

Commander Thug: "But, your malign majesty, don’t you read the papers? The Americans are listening in on the other end! Now they’ll thwart your glorious plan to commit genocide and go down in history as the worst mass murderer since Harry Truman!"

Assad: "Bullshit. Those Americans think they are smart, but I’ve outsmarted them. Because, you see, I’m wearing my Anti-NSA Encryption Ring ..."

[Aug 21, 2013] New Details Show Broader NSA Surveillance Reach

Ed Barry

This is Obama's idea of transparency....he can see everything about you!

Jose Calabro:

I suppose the country is too busy looking at reality cooking shows, rather than scrutinize this pretense of a "national defense" behavior

AL MOFFATT

... ... ...

Now, we return to the new hit reality show, "Organic Marijuana Gardening with Michelle and Barrack. "

Terry Traub

Why is this not mentioned in the EULA and User Agreements one clicks through to sign up for a cell phone account? "We may allow the NSA and/or other federal agencies to collect your data, including your phone calls, metadata, and location."

Roger Crook:

Little tip for you shell scripters -- let's start overloading their filters:

for($i=0; $i<10; $i++) {
`wget "http://www.google.com/search?q=backpack"`;
}

Frederick A. Green:

  • I think it's important to recognize that you can't have 100% security and also then have 100% privacy and zero inconvenience. We're going to have to make some choices as a society. --Barack Obama, June 7, 2013
  • As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. . . . Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. --Barack Obama, Jan. 20, 2009

Tom Topar

I fail so see what all the complaining is about. Right in the first several paragraphs it said that the U.S. Attorney General was the last line of defense with the NSA. I assume that means Eric Holder is in charge and will protect us American citizens. What could possibly be wrong with that picture?

[Aug 18, 2013] XKeyscore: NSA tool collects 'nearly everything a user does on the internet'

July 31, 2013 | The Guardian

taxineil

NSA is the only part of the US government that actually listens to the people.

[Aug 17, 2013] How to Stay Awake During Obama Speeches: Play Bullshit Bingo

February 26, 2010 | naked capitalism

Via e-mail:

1. Before Barrack Obama’s next televised speech, prepare your “Bullshit Bingo” card by drawing a square. I find that 5″ x 5″ is a good size — and dividing it into columns –five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

Restored our reputation
Strategic fit
Let me be clear
Make no mistake
Back from the brink
Signs of recovery
Out of the loop
Benchmark
Job creation
Fiscal restraint
Win-win
Affordable health care
Previous Administration
At the end of the day
Empower (or empowerment)
Touch base
Mindset
Bipartisan
Trust
Inherited as in “I inherited this mess”
Relief for working families
Unprecedented
Accountable (or held to account)
Free market
Reform

Players can make substitutions to this list, but only one phrase can be used in any one block. Alternatives include:

Change (as in “change you can believe in)
Universal health care
Brought the economy back from the brink

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout ”BULLSHIT!”

Testimonials from past satisfied “Bullshit Bingo” players:

”I had been listening to the speech for only five minutes when I won.” - Jack W., Boston

”My attention span during speeches has improved dramatically.” – David D., Florida

”What a gas! Speeches will never be the same for me after my first win.” - Bill R., New York City

“The atmosphere was tense in the last speech as 14 of us waited for the fifth box.” – Ben G., Denver

“The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed “BULLSHIT!” for the third time in two hours.” – Harry A. Chantilly

[Aug 17, 2013] Prospects For Financial Reform

Feb 25, 2010 | Economist's View

Banana Republic: It's not just a store anymore.

[Aug 03, 2013] XKeyscore: NSA tool collects 'nearly everything a user does on the internet'

31 July 2013 | The Guardian

taxineil

NSA is the only part of the US government that actually listens to the people.

Niclynn

Aw. When I was a kid, my parents assured me that I was never alone. I thought they were talking about Jesus, but it turns out they meant creepers at the NSA can be the ones to watch over me at night. And double-check to make sure those pictures I'm sending to my husband aren't too racy. That's sweet.

diamondgeeza -> Niclynn

I've decided to stop backing up my files. I mean, what's the point? If I lose data all I need to do is phone Fort Meade right? They'll have a copy.

Wackedsteaks

Hey Russians you have a XKeyscore server on your territory.

Zakida

The Stasi would be proud

Bluestone -> Zakida

Personally I think they would be jealous as all hell.

What the American government is doing right now is the Stasi wetest of wet dreams.

smileydog -> johannesgutenberg

Maybe if governments weren't spending huge amounts of money spying on the world, they'd have more money to do something about housing.

Parent_or

Like North Korea but with better everything

[Jul 30, 2013] Obama Erases Campaign Promises from Election Website

Zero Hedge

Submitted by Michael Krieger via Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

The Ministry of Peace concerns itself with war, the Ministry of Truth with lies, the Ministry of Love with torture and the Ministry of Plenty with starvation. These contradictions are not accidental , nor do they result from from ordinary hypocrisy: they are deliberate exercises in doublethink.

- George Orwell, 1984

President Transparency, in the interest of protecting his Administration’s spotless record of least transparent ever, has decided to erase sections of his original campaign website so that inconvenient and broken promises (i.e., every single thing he said) can’t be so easily exposed. Although clearly no one goes to the campaign site for groundbreaking news, it had served as a useful platform to compare candidate Obama to the George W. Bush clone he has become as President. From Policy Mic:

In a recent blog post by the Sunlight Foundation, the watchdog organization curiously notes how the Obama administration has removed previously available content from then candidate Obama’s famous 2008 campaign platform, Change.gov. While the site has long since served as a landing page to redirect traffic towards the now President Obama’s whitehouse.gov, the content of the website, particularly the materials and agenda pages, has always been accessible. However, very recently, access to such information is now no longer supported through the site and appears to have been “scrubbed” off the internet (of course, you can still access archived forms of the aforementioned pages).

Thus, because President Obama’s policies have failed to match candidate Obama’s campaign platform (particularly the change part of “hope and change”), it is possible that the easy availability of such contradictory information, not to mention the reputability of the source, has proven to be too detrimental to President Obama’s reputation — given the current political climate. More specifically, the President’s views on government ethics and whistle blowing:

The following was candidate Obama’s position on whistleblowers.

Protect Whistleblowers: Often the best source of information about waste, fraud, and abuse in government is an existing government employee committed to public integrity and willing to speak out. Such acts of courage and patriotism, which can sometimes save lives and often save taxpayer dollars, should be encouraged rather than stifled. We need to empower federal employees as watchdogs of wrongdoing and partners in performance. Barack Obama will strengthen whistleblower laws to protect federal workers who expose waste, fraud, and abuse of authority in government. Obama will ensure that federal agencies expedite the process for reviewing whistleblower claims and whistleblowers have full access to courts and due process.

No worries, at least we still have the right to go out into the street and mindlessly scream USA! USA!

Full article here.

[Jun 16, 2013] Amazon.com Customer Reviews Nineteen Eighty-Four

This is not an instruction manual!, June 14, 2013 By Bjørn Anders See all my reviews

This review is from: 1984: 60th-Anniversary Edition (Plume) (Paperback) Note to US Congress and house of representatives:

This is a fictional book, not an instruction manual.
I suggest you read this one instead: Bill of Rights

[Jun 08, 2013] Reset 2

[May 18, 2013] Dylan Moran on consumerism

YouTube

4ndr4kn0wz 2 years ago

"...and she looked like she'd been hit by a tractor."

Dylan is fcking awesome!

doorwindow7

I've just finished the video and when the grid of suggestions comes up, the poses from Dylan Moran look like he's directing the Toyota Hiroshimas to school children.

[May 18, 2013] Dylan Moran - Americans are divorced from reality.

YouTube

CryowenFrostmage

As an intelligent American (so... only slightly stupider than your average human being from anywhere else) I agree wholeheartedly with this.

Ayn Rand porn Georgia Straight

"I am amused to discover that 'Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan' is an anagram of 'My Ultimate Ayn Rand Porn'."

Liberal attack dog Warren Kinsella just retweeted the funniest thing I've seen all day.

It came from self-described genius Andrew Drucker.

"I am amused to discover that 'Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan' is an anagram of 'My Ultimate Ayn Rand Porn'."

This came less than a day after a Wisconsin newspaper editor was quoted as saying that Ryan was inspired to go into politics by The Fountainhead, which was Rand's ode to selfishness.

Filthgoate

Ayn Rand's role model for masculinity was a serial killer.

http://atheism.about.com/b/2011/05/11/ayn-rand-sociopath-who-admired-a-s...

[May 03, 2013] Greg Palast Introducing Obama's New Commerce Secretary Penny Pritzker

"No longer will criminal bankers have to lobby the administration - because now they'll have one of their own in the Cabinet."
Jesse's Café Américain

This contains some interesting background on then State Senator Obama and his sudden entrance into the national spotlight.

Billionaire Bankster Breaks into Obama's Cabinet
By Greg Palast
May 2, 2013

....Today, Obama has named Penny Pritzker Secretary of Commerce. As the President says, It's a milestone: the first female fraudster to hold that post. No longer will criminal bankers have to lobby the administration - because now they'll have one of their own in the Cabinet.

The following is taken from the Chapter, "Penny's from Heaven?" you'll find in my bestseller, Billionaires & Ballot Bandits.

"We never heard of this guy Barack Obama until 2004. Less than three years before taking the presidency, he was in the Illinois state senate, a swamp of scammers, backhanders, and party machine tools - not a stellar launch pad for the White House. And then, one day, state Sen. Barack Obama was visited by his fairy godmother. Her name is Penny Pritzker.

Pritzker's net worth is listed in Forbes as $1.8 billion, which is one hell of a heavy magic wand in the world of politics. Her wand would have been heavier, and her net worth higher, except that in 2001, the federal government fined her and her family $460 million for the predatory, deceitful, racist tactics and practices of Superior, the bank-and-loan-shark operation she ran on the South Side of Chicago.

Superior was the first of the deregulated go-go banks to go bust - at the time, the costliest failure ever. US taxpayers lost nearly half a billion dollars. Superior's depositors lost millions and poor folk in Sen. Obama's South Side district lost their homes.

Penny did not like paying $460 million. No, not one bit. What she needed was someone to give her Hope and Change. She hoped someone would change the banking regulators and the Commerce Department so she could get away with this crap.

Pritzker introduced Obama, the neophyte state senator, to the Ladies Who Lunch (that's really what they call themselves) on Chicago's Gold Coast. Obama got lunch, gold and better - an introduction to Robert Rubin. Rubin is a former Secretary of the Treasury, former chairman of Goldman Sachs and former co-chairman of Citibank. Even atheists recognized Rubin as the Supreme Deity of Wall Street.

Rubin opened the doors to finance industry vaults for Obama. Extraordinarily for a Democrat, Obama in 2008 raised three times as much from bankers as his Republican opponent...

Read the rest here.

[May 01, 2013] Business is Booming in Texas Discuss

April 30, 2013 |The Big Picture

wally

It’s just as bad to kill people by illegally storing explosive fertilizer as by deliberately bombing them. The laws are broken by the actions you take, not by the thoughts you harbored when you did those things. In the Texas case it apparently wasn’t lack of regulations, it was lack of enforcement. That seems to be a common cause of disasters these days.

Crocodile Chuck :

I reckon its deeper than this-it wasn’t even lack of enforcement, as regards the zoning laws-there weren’t any in the first place (the school and nursing home sited close to the munitions magazine, erm, fertiliser plant). And no one in the community ever even thought about this, let alone raised an alarm, as these were being built.

Jeffrey Sachs’ Speech on Wall Street Corruption

This is famous Jeffery Pinochet-Yeltsin Shock Therapy Sachs.
April 30, 2013 | The Big Picture

A

Hmmm.

Corrupt government; corrupt financial system; corrupt business culture; corrupt legal system.

Why on earth is America inheriting the Russian model ?

  1. spooz says:

    April 30, 2013 at 11:07 am

    For those who would like to listen to other speakers at The 31st Annual Monetary and Trade Conference where Sachs presented this (including Michael Kumhof’s presentation on The Chicago Plan Revisited, which starts at about 1:02, and which I would LOVE to see more economists discuss), here is the link.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P2pjn1U_p4

[Apr 13, 2013] Maher Blasts U.S. 'War Monger' Response To North Korea And The Military Industrial Complex (VIDEO)

Bill Maher ended Friday's "Real Time" by saying that he's concerned about North Korea. Not about Kim Jong Un's nuclear capabilities, but rather the way American politicians overreact to foreign threats by using them as an excuse to start expensive wars.

"With Afghanistan winding down, America is dangerously close to not having a war," Maher said. And when we don't have a war, he continued, the country "gets a little sad. A little introspective. It begins thinking about poverty, schools, our crumbling infrastructure."

But he joked that going to war since World War II is a foolish endeavor: "Offering to go to war with the U.S. is like offering to go out for drinks with Lindsay Lohan."

The North Korean threat could just be another ill-fated war like so many we've participated in over the half half-century -- including a few countries with whom we've been engaged in multiple wars, like Afghanistan. "That's when you know you're war mongers, when some countries are coming up twice."

For foreign policy, Maher suggested that U.S. presidents look to one man for inspiration: Jimmy Carter.

"He is the one out of all of them who figured out how to sit in office for four years and never fire a shot. The negative example should be Dick Cheney, who even shoots his friends in the face."

Maher closed out the segment with advice to the Democratic frontrunner for president in 2016, Hillary Clinton. "The reason you lost your primary battle in 2008 was because you voted for the Iraq war, and some guy named Obama was smart enough to be against it. In your upcoming campaign, I hope you know you don't have to run as an 'iron lady,'" referencing the late, hawkish British prime minister Margaret Thatcher. "Because what good is being the first female president if you still have to be a dick?"

Stephen Colbert rips Joe Scarborough - The Hill's Video

Francis > Logic Driven Conservative

Stephen Colbert is viewed as a comedian only by right wingers, to others he's a political satirist, which reminds me of George Carlin who explained how the super rich OWN this country in The American Dream at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.... See also his presentation of We Like War at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.... And also The Illusion of Freedom at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v....

Logic Driven Conservative > WeToldYouSo

Listen & Learn:

South Carolina is a Conservative RED State--democrats need not apply.

Sanford isn't a pillar of morality, but....SC will NOT elect a Liberal democrat.

Period.

Charles Wolf Logic Driven Conservative

You learn this fool:

Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, a love story: a story that peaked with a non-existent hike on the Appalachian Trail that was actually a five-day tryst with his Argentine lover. The Sanford tenure in the state house was sprinkled with lies, deceit, international negative press, ripping off taxpayers, expense repayments, state planes for personal use, numerous ethical lapses for which he paid a $70,000 fine; a multitude of moral lapses, a legislative censure, infidelities (plural) and a shattered family and subsequent divorce. ...
..."De-dup De-dup,,,and That's NOT All Folks"...
http://www.politicususa.com/th...

Tom > Logic Driven Conservative

South Carolina is not known for its "smarts" - my Lord, they do have Lindsey Graham as a Senator and the are the home of Jim DeMint - both jokes and flakes. As far as they are concerned, the Civil War never ended. Perhaps a "new" voice would do them good.

http://www.veteranstoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Terrorist-Identification-Chart1.jpg

[Apr 06, 2013] Bill Maher Slams Paul Ryan, Rand Paul For 'Ruining' Libertarianism 'I Didn't Go Nuts, This Movement Did' (VIDEO)

On this week's episode of "Real Time," Bill Maher used his final "New Rule" of the night to take on Libertarianism and the conservatives whose obsessions with Ayn Rand have "ruined" the political philosophy for him.

Once a supporter of Libertarianism and its views on government intervention, Maher explained why he thinks politicians such as Paul Ryan and Rand Paul are "intellectually stuck in their teen years" and have turned a once promising movement into a free market-obsessed, "nanny state"-fearing delusion.

Maher went on to defend his new views on Libertarianism by mocking the party's tendency to reject government services even when they are arguably very useful:

"To everyone who keeps trying to shame me about abandoning my Libertarian moorings, my message is this: I didn't go nuts, this movement did. Like when you see a stop light, your reaction should be 'Great, an easy way to ensure we don't all crash into each other,' not, 'How dare the government tell me when I can and cannot go!"

Watch the full segment above

Bill Maher on Ayn Rand ‘It’s all stuff that seems very deep when you’re 19 years old’ The Raw Story

Bill Maher delivered a blistering critique of modern libertarianism on Friday’s episode of Real Time With Bill Maher, slamming adherents for developing a “creepy obsession” with author Ayn Rand.

“It’s all stuff that seems very deep when you’re 19 years old,” he said, before making a quick exemption for one of his guests, young anti-creationism advocate Zack Kopplin. “About how government is a dirty trick played by the weak on the strong, and I can see how, if you’re a privileged college kid, you read that and think, ‘Yeah, that’s right, I don’t need anything. So shut up, Dad, and pay my tuition.’”

Rand’s work has often cited been as an influence on Republican lawmakers like Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI). Ryan went so far as to once say that Rand taught him “what my value systems are.”

“I believe him,” Maher said of Ryan. “Because [Rand's work] has a strange appeal to people who are kind of smart, but not really.”

Years ago, Maher conceded, he supported some libertarian ideals, saying he wanted to keep the government out of his bedroom, his medicine chest, “and especially not in the second drawer of the nightstand on the left side of my bed.”

But somewhere along the way, he said, libertarians became devotees of Rand’s novel Atlas Shrugged, which he called “a book that’s never been read all the way through by anyone with a girlfriend.”

But even as he said he still supported notions like “shutting down the American empire,” Maher also had a message for people attempting to shame him for allegedly turning his back on that stance.

“I didn’t go nuts, this movement did,” he said. “Like when you see a stop light, your reaction should be, ‘Great, an easy way to ensure we don’t crash into each other.’ Not, ‘How dare the government tell me when I can and cannot go!’”

Watch Maher rip Rand and libertarians, in video posted by Mediaite on Friday, below

[Feb 20, 2013] Should the Repugs and Demofakes be renamed Nero Pary One and Nero Party Two because they both fiddle and squabble while the Unites States burns.

Completely Self-Absorbed Obama Gets Up And Just Talks For An Hour Straight

WASHINGTON—In a shocking display of deep self-absorption and narcissistic behavior, President Barack Obama stood up in front of the entire nation Tuesday and talked for more than an hour straight, sources confirmed.

Appearing before a crowd of several hundred people, whom he had apparently required to attend and sit silently as he spoke, the egocentric president reportedly talked nonstop from roughly 9 p.m. to 10:15 p.m. Eastern time, giving his opinion on whatever topics he felt like discussing. Apparently unwilling to concern himself with any beliefs other than his own, Obama selfishly spoke without interruption, never once allowing another person to get a word in edgewise or offer a differing viewpoint.

“Christ, that guy just wouldn’t stop talking,” said Lehigh, PA resident Ken Datillio, 41, who said he watched in mounting disbelief and annoyance as the self-involved leader kept going on and on, seemingly unaware of how profoundly egocentric he was being. “He talked, no joke, for 10 minutes straight about the economy. I thought that would be it, but then he started right in talking about energy for at least another five minutes—and that was just the start of it. It’s like this guy has a goddamned opinion on everything.”

“Have you listened to someone talk for 60 minutes straight?” Datillio added. “It’s excruciating.”

62-Year-Old With Gun Only One Standing Between Nation And Full-Scale Government Takeover

The Onion

NORFOLK, VA—According to numerous reports, local 62-year-old Earl Bailey, who owns a shotgun and several boxes of ammunition, is currently the last bastion of defense between the United States of America and the federal government’s plot of a full-scale takeover.

Bailey, a recent retiree and a proud advocate of gun rights, has been confirmed by multiple sources as being a true patriot, and is, at present, the only person capable of preventing top-secret forces within the government from striking and forcefully coercing hundreds of millions of Americans to submit to a fascist and brutal New World Order.

Since the early 1990s, sources estimated the gun owner has staved off innumerable large-scale government threats, all from the center of his 12-acre ranch.

“It is every American’s right to be good and armed, and that’s a right that should always be protected,” said Bailey, now the sole American protecting the nation from the government’s hidden plot of disarming all citizens, gradually gaining control of the mass media, and installing martial law throughout the nation’s streets. “Our Founding Fathers intended for each and every one of us to protect ourselves from tyranny. That’s what America is all about.”

“What happens when the feds show up at your front door and start telling you how much meat you can eat or how to raise your kids?” continued the lifetime NRA member, brandishing the very weapon that now serves as the final hope of staving off a totalitarian state. “Is that the future you want?”

Hungover Energy Secretary Wakes Up Next To Solar Panel

WASHINGTON—Sources have reported that following a long night of carousing at a series of D.C. watering holes, Energy Secretary Steven Chu awoke Thursday ...

[Oct 07, 2012] O'Reilly, Stewart 'rumble' debate brings the humor by Carol Memmott and Lindsay Deutsch,

Stewart, after telling O'Reilly he's the leader of "Bull---- mountain," a recurring Daily Show theme: "When you need something, it's an entitlement," said Stewart, "When they need something it is what it is."
O'Reilly: Fox "is making a billion dollars a year, so something's going right."
Stewart: "Yes, you can't make money selling crap in America."
October 7. 2012 | USA TODAY

It may not have been the most important debate of the 2012 presidential election season but it was certainly, so far, the most entertaining. And who needs President Obama and GOP rival Mitt Romney when you can get your politics with laughs from Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly?

In what was billed as O'Reilly vs. Stewart 2012: The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium, the host of Comedy Central's The Daily Show and Fox News' top-rated personality and Factor host faced off Saturday night at a sold-out event from Lisner Auditorium at George Washington University, and streamed online for $4.95 a pop, with half the proceeds going to charity.

The Rumble was moderated by journalist E.D. Hill, who kicked off the night's comic side by introducing O'Reilly as "the gargantuan 6-foot-4" and Stewart as a "hobbit-like 5-foot-7-inches tall." (Stewart was on a motorized platform that rose him up to O'Reilly's eye level — and, at times, well beyond.)

The debaters went toe-to-toe and joke-to-joke on the Middle East, health care, partisanship and government debt.

And the zingers were slung fast and furious:

Stewart on Obama's having to deal with Bush's legacy: "We are merely weeks from being a failed state or, even worse, Greece. To solve it is to kill Big Bird."

O'Reilly: "Bush is gone. Adios, sayonara, aloha. It's boring. He's gone. It may have been Bush's fault for the first year, maybe two, but not 3½."

Stewart, after telling O'Reilly he's the leader of "Bull---- mountain," a recurring Daily Show theme: "When you need something, it's an entitlement," said Stewart, "When they need something it is what it is."

On the Middle East, O'Reilly held up a sign that said "Drones. Yes. Waterboards. No," citing the irony of the country's policy allowing drones to strike and kill civilians but condemning waterboarding as wrong.

Stewart, after O'Reilly holds up another sign that reads "Iran not frightened," claiming Obama's sending the wrong message to Iran about American might: "Did they attack our embassy because Barack Obama is weak?"

O'Reilly, blaming government intervention on business' lack of confidence in the economy: "You've got to let the free market run away a little bit. You gotta unleash the machine."

Stewart: "Because what could go wrong?"

On media bias, Stewart: "I don't think ABC or NBC or CBS are activist organizations" then called Fox News "the lupus of news" that's gone "overboard."

O'Reilly: Fox "is making a billion dollars a year, so something's going right."

Stewart: "Yes, you can't make money selling crap in America."

On the American they most admire: Stewart: Robert Kennedy; O'Reilly: Abraham Lincoln.

... ... ...

At a news conference after the debate, O'Reilly joked: "Everybody knows that Stewart's opinions are very shallow and not thought out. ... I thought he was very witty with the excrement mountain thing."

Stewart's response: "Yeah, I completely switched over and I think I'm taking Hannity's spot."

[Sep 29, 2012] Gallup Poll: Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad To Obama

Hat tip to Moon of Alabama

The Onion (September 24, 2012 | ISSUE 48•39):

CHARLESTON, WV — According to the results of a Gallup poll released Monday, the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than U.S. president Barack Obama.

Jesse's Café Américain Jon Stewart Chaos On Bullshit Mountain

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Chaos on Bulls**t Mountain - The Entitlement Society

Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

What kind of a people could delight in machine-gunning the lifeboats of those who are attempting to escape, not to thrive but to merely survive, the mayhem and chaos that these same sociopaths have created through their selfish and criminal actions? And what sort of gullible fools will listen to them, and assist them in their work even if passively by saying nothing?

"The inability to identify with others was unquestionably the most important psychological condition for the fact that something like Auschwitz could have occurred in the midst of more or less civilized and innocent people.

What is called 'fellow traveling' (collaboration) was primarily business interest: one pursues one’s own advantage before all else and, simply not to endanger oneself, does not talk too much. That is a general law of the status quo."

Theodor Adorno

Have we truly learned nothing? Must we make the same mistakes over and over again?

These 49 percent include for the most part the elderly, students, the working poor, soldiers and their families, and the disabled.

These 'handouts' include Social Security and unemployment insurance which people have paid for when times were good. The ranks of the working poor have swelled for sure, because of a financial collapse brought on by unfettered greed and fraud of Wall Street, and a stagnant real median wage for the past 20 years in the face of rising costs, often driven by monopolies, fraud, and cartels.

A kleptocracy is sucking the life out of working men and women by force and fraud. A group of sociopaths, who have committed one of the great crimes in history, not only blithely walk away with their loot unpunished, but come back to rob their victims once again, to finish the job. And they gorge themselves on the public trust even while begrudging the widow her pittance, or trying to steal it.

They pervert and corrupt so many, filling their hearts with their passionate lies, appealing to what is the very worst in them. They are truly a den of vipers and thieves.

You can believe what you will, but you will be held responsible for your beliefs, and your actions, what you do and do not do.

[Sep 08, 2012] British ministers 'ponder response to Israeli strike on Iran' World news

May 23, 2012 | guardian.co.uk

Two points to clarify discussion

AgentC

@ MiniApolis:

So they are happy to feed the Westerners a line, give them a little something, and pretend to reluctantly accept more than they ever dreamed.

Funny, that sounds like "Israeli Foriegn Policy". Feed the westerners a line about Iran having nuclear weapons within a couple of years (like they have for over a decade), give a little pretend movement on the Palestinian issue, and then reluctantly accept more US foriegn/military aid.

snickid

bailliegillies.

Another factor that will have an effect on the decision whether or not to attack Iran is the fact the around 80% of conservatives belong to the Conservative Friends of Israel. [...] the Labour party isn't any better either as a lot of them belong to Labour Friends of Israel.

This is depressing - but there's a difference between being a 'Friend of Israel' - i.e. taking the money from the Israel lobby - and being a bloody stupid friend of Israel, i.e. supporting yet another disastrous war in the Middle East.

"No, you just can't": something about GOP propaganda attack on Obama ;-)

Charles Martin

I love this crap!! Every voting cycle it happens!! Obama, like all democrats before him has made the mistake of trying to "talk" to the voting public man to man!! Because you will not admit to yourself how dumb these people really are, you wind up talking "down" to these people and you can't do that!!

The morning after Obama made the mistake of trying to tell everyone that they had a little help along the way, I visited my coffee shop!! A friend of mine asked,

"Did you read that Obama crap"? "I sure did, did you"? Yep, I sure as hell did!! Then he went on to quote the Romney version!! You can't win!!!

[Jul 23, 2012] The Onion Facebook Is CIA's Dream Come True [SATIRE] by Stan Schroeder

Compare with Assange- Facebook, Google, Yahoo spying tools for US intelligence

As the “single most powerful tool for population control,” the CIA’s “Facebook program” has dramatically reduced the agency’s costs — at least according to the latest “report” from the satirical mag The Onion.

Perhaps inspired by a recent interview with WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, who called Facebook “the most appalling spy machine that has ever been invented,” The Onion‘s video fires a number of arrows in Facebook’s direction — with hilarious results.

In the video, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is dubbed “The Overlord” and is shown receiving a “medal of intelligence commendation” for his work with the CIA’s Facebook program.

The Onion also takes a jab at FarmVille (which is responsible for “pacifying” as much as 85 million people after unemployment rates rose), Twitter (which is called useless as far as data gathering goes), and Foursquare (which is said to have been created by Al Qaeda).

Check out the video below and tell us in the comments what you think.

CIA's 'Facebook' Program Dramatically Cut Agency's Costs Onion News Network

[Jul 18, 2012] I HAVE A DRONE

[Jul 02, 2012] Something about Moscow protest meeting size estimates in Western press

It staggers the imagination that the police – who I assume have some training in estimating the size of a the meeting, especially as it might turn ugly on them, estimate the size of the crowd at 18,000 while reporters and event organizers gleefully estimate the same crowd at “more than 50,000″.

They must all work for penis-enlargement websites.

[Jul 01, 2012] A New Babylon or the Rhyme of History

[Jun 27, 2012] Jon Stewart on the GOP Field 'Extremely Loud and Incredibly Wealthy'

"We are 99% of 1%" ;-)

STEWART: Oh, it's not fair. He's using unlimited money to buy influence. Rigging the system in some way. Interesting. I can't imagine how frustrated and helpless you Newt Gingrich must feel. Hey, how did guys like Mitt Romney come to be anyway? [...]

You're mad at Mitt Romney? But that's like saying... it's like saying Mitt Romney answered the eHarmony ad and now you're saying it's unfair. That it's not what you meant and you don't mean it that much. Mitt Romney is the pure distillation of conservative economic policies. But now that you have to go up against him, now it's unfair? Republicans, you can't say, release the kraken and then when the kraken turns on you, be all like... that's a very scary kraken.

Stephen Colbert on GOP Candidate Richard Mourdock

HA! Four racoons in a plastic garbage bag.

[Jun 04, 2012] Banks And The Whole Democracy Thing In 90 Seconds Or Less

ZeroHedge

Reality 90 seconds that describes the sad reality of US banking and politics - in Dr.Seuss style prose.

"Now cabbies and crop-pickers will pick up the slack; your taxes will bring the bankers right back;

where we'll keep spreading our good news, of deregulation and free market views - 'We know what we're doing, just stop with the rules!'"

"Now we're buying both sides to do our good bidding; That whole Democracy thing? Surely You're Kidding"

[Jun 01, 2012] New meaning of the old symbol

[Apr 29, 2012] Matt Stoller Obama as Neoliberal Ideologue

April 29, 2012 | naked capitalism

G3

My quip :

Repubs are like the abusive guy who will hit and throw the wife out of the house. Dems are like the one who will hit but let her stay in.

My friend’s quip :

With Repubs, it is like outright rape. With Dems, it is like date rape.

[Apr 19, 2012] In Conversation- Barney Frank by Jason Zengerle,

New York Magazine

TARP was basically being administered by Hank Paulson as the last man home in a lame-duck presidency. I tried to get them to use the TARP to put some leverage on the banks to do more about mortgages, and Paulson at first ­resisted—he just wanted to get the money out. And after he got the first chunk of money out, he said, “All right, I’ll tell you what, I’ll ask for a second chunk, and I’ll use some of that as leverage on mortgages, but I’m not going to do that unless Obama asks for it.”

This is now December, so we tried to get the Obama people to ask him, and they wouldn’t do it. During the critical period when the TARP was being administered, there was a vacuum of political leadership.

At one point, Obama said, “Well, we only have one president at a time.” I said I was afraid that overstated the number of presidents. We had no president.

[Apr 18, 2012] This, my friends, is Globalization! One Stop Thought Shop

January 13, 2008 by Brian

Question:

What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer:

Princess Diana’s death.

Question:

How come?

Answer:

An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian
drunk on Scottish whisky,
followed by Italian Paparazzi
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor
using Brazilian medicines.

This is written by a Canadian,
using American patents
with Taiwanese chips,
a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian truckers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and delivered downtown by Mexican illegals.

That, my friends, is Globalization!

[Apr 17, 2012] Comments on the Housing Recovery and Starts and Completions

KarmaPolice wrote on Tue, 4/17/2012 - 12:21 pm

Excuse my language, but HOLY SHIT.

"Among the attributes I most envy in a public man (or woman) is the ability to lie. If that ability is coupled with no sense of humor, you have the sort of man who can be a successful football coach, a CEO or, when you come right down to it, a presidential candidate. Such a man is Mitt Romney."

Mitt Romney’s enviable ability to ignore the truth - The Washington Post

[Apr 16, 2012] McClatchy Cartoons

[Apr 06, 2012] Too pig to fail

[Apr 02, 2012] Construction Spending declines in February

ResistanceIsFeudal :

poic wrote:

Fundamental change will not occur until there is a change in the revolving door between the financial industry and Treasury/SEC.

A bigger revolving door?

arthur_dent:

ResistanceIsFeudal wrote:

If only the two could be combined, somehow...

reminds me of the joke making the rounds in post-soviet Russia, paraphrasing....

Everything Marx told us about Communism was wrong. Unfortunately, everything he told us about Capitalism was right.

[Mar 31, 2012] Something about Facebook IPO

Log in to Facebook now to see what your so-called friends are reading and watching, and to let them see every f**king thing you're reading and watching.

[Mar 31, 2012] Congressman Hurt To Discover Lobbyist Not Really His Friend The Onion

February 4, 2012 | Onion ISSUE 48•05

Rep. Schilling said he was even considering asking Fischer (inset) to be godfather to his youngest son.

WASHINGTON—According to Capitol Hill sources, Rep. Bobby Schilling (R-IL) came to the painful realization this week that agribusiness lobbyist Stephen Fischer, who had been kind and generous toward him for months and had often met up with him for drinks after work, was not, in fact, his friend.

"Steve used to call all the time to catch up and ask about my family and chat about the genetically modified feedstock industry, but now, nothing," said Schilling, who admitted he was still struggling to accept that all their "good times" together at Washington steak houses and nightclubs had not been part of a sincere friendship. "He was such a likable guy—sociable, funny, and he always somehow managed to find great seats to sold-out concerts."

"I thought we were really tight," Schilling added. "But now I can't help but think he was just using me to get stricter seed-patent protections."

According to Schilling, the two first met at a Republican Party fundraiser last spring and "hit it off" immediately. The congressman was surprised to discover Fischer seemed to share his interests in deep-sea fishing, soybean crop insurance, and Big Ten basketball, and recalled in particular how the lobbyist was impressed by Schilling's position on the House Agriculture Committee.

From there, Schilling said, the high-paid employee of Cargill and Archer Daniels Midland began frequently taking him out to exclusive Washington restaurants and to his private lux­ury box at Baltimore Orioles games, leading Schilling to believe he had found a genuine, affable buddy.

"Sure, I found it unusual that Steve always asked me about the progress of alfalfa silage tax credits and would casually suggest potato-crop insect-management earmarks, but I never thought twice about it," the congressman said. "I just assumed he was curious about my work. Maybe it sounds na•ve, but when a guy does something really nice, like fly you out to Pebble Beach for 18 holes, you just assume he's your friend."

In the weeks since, Fischer reportedly claimed to be too busy to go out with the congressman and eventually stopped answering Schilling's calls altogether. Once he suspected manipulative behavior on Fischer's part, Schilling said he grew despondent, saddened that what he believed had been a promising friendship had vanished so suddenly and left him with nothing but a few boxes of ultra-premium cigars and $47,000 in campaign contributions.

The crestfallen legislator said he now felt unsure who his true friends were, and had begun to question whether fellow congressmen, prominent donors, and even his constituents actually cared about him as a person—or whether they all just wanted something from him.

[Mar 09, 2012] Trade Deficit increased in January to $52.6 Billion

Mel:

It is amazing that we have not found a way to eliminate the petroleum trade deficit--

Nixon tried - he was promptly impeached.

Carter tried - he was booted after one term.

Voters demanded unicorns and rainbows - Reagan promised them exactly that - it's all been running backwards on this issue ever since.

Weeping Willow wrote:

Voters demanded unicorns and rainbows - Reagan promised them exactly that - it's all been running backwards on this issue ever since.

Someday there'll be a lot of dead unicorns washing up on the beaches of the Persian Gulf. Some of them will wear Army green and Navy blue.

Black smoke from oilfield fires will blot out the rainbows.

Daily darkness!

Prick your finger, it is done.
Goldman owns your firstborn son.

[Feb 29, 2012] Hank The Cat Running For US Senate in Virginia By BETH PARKER

Feb 27, 2012 | myfoxdc
SPRINGFIELD, Va. - He is not your typical politician. He's running as a write-in candidate and his campaign is beginning to catch on. But it’s not for what he stands for, but for whom he is.

The purr-fect candidate can be tough to find. One with just the right ideas, a proper wardrobe and a candidate who cannot be bought.

“If any sort of lobbyist needs to get to him, they would have to do that with cheese,” says Campaign Manager Matthew O’Leary.

Hank is a nine-year-old Maine Coon who is running for the U.S. Senate in Virginia.

He has signs and stickers that will make you an F.O.H. - or Friend of Hank. He loves Facebook, and really, all social media.

“Cats are normally adapted to Tweeting since birds and everything like that,” says O’Leary. “They know how to handle that sort of thing.”

His campaign headquarters is at his family's townhouse in Springfield, Va. It is a house full of Obama supporters, but he is not a Demo-cat.

“I would read left-leaning political books at night, and in the morning when he'd wake me up for breakfast, he would tear up the political books, just the political books, to get my attention,” O’Leary says.

He says that is when they knew they had a conservative on their hands. He is running as an independent though - no surprise - a cat who is independent. He wants to snap to it and start creating jobs. And he is tired of politicians who always have their claws out.

Hank is running against two veteran politicians in George Allen and Tim Kaine. Some believe the fact that he is an outside the beltway cat could be an advantage.

“Hank did live a good part of his life inside the beltway, but now we live just west of it, so he's outside the beltway,” says O’Leary.

Hank ran for Virginia State Senate a while back and got nine write-in votes. He is a rescue cat from a place called Animal Allies.

“He was about five weeks old when we got him and he was rescued from a kill shelter that was going to put him down,” says O’Leary.

He has been a perfect pet. Just a few flaws. Not the best manners, a little lazy and according to O’Leary, “he can be scared of things that normally don't scare anyone. Sometimes if there's a grocery bag or something, he'll freak out about it and attack it. He can be a little on edge sometimes.”

But it's nothing a nice nose rub won't cure.

The money donated on Hank's website goes to animal rescue groups. If you would like to learn more, visit his website at www.hankforsenate.com or his Facebook page.

[Jan 23, 2012] Their bread, our circus

Recently, in the course of one evening in the Big Apple, President Barack Obama "hosted" three fundraisers ranging from $35,800 a head to $1,000 a head and raised $2.4 million - and that wasn't even close to 1% of the funds he will need for this election season. This reflects the power, needs, fears and desires of America's 1%, and how it has turned the rest of us from citizens into viewers. - Tom Engelhardt (Dec 15,

[Jan 23, 2012] United Welfare States of America- In 2011 Nearly Half The Population Received Some Form Of Government Benefit

in 2011 nearly half of the population lived in a household that receives some form of government benefit, which in turn accounted for 65% of total federal spending, or $2.5 trillion, and amount to 15% of GDP.

Ghordius

Confusing? Just *TRY* to have a normal conversation with my UK and US relatives and you will find out that they think they live in the land of the free and that the eurozone is a socialist overregulated hellhole where half of the population is on some kind of government support.

[Nov 23, 2011] OSHA App Costs Gov't $200k

The project wasn't completed by a government developer. It was done by a contractor, because everybody knows that the government is inefficient and costs a lot of money.

So they demand that they outsource it to the private sector, which means all kinds of extra overhead. Private contractors, being driven by the profit motive, will turn in crappy work unless you spend huge amounts of effort clarifying precisely what's required, followed by meetings to ensure that they have done it. Just the product spec meeting cost more than the time spent actually doing it. All because the Government is Bad.

itwbennett writes "How much does it cost to make a phone app to tell local temperature and suggest how not to get heatstroke, such as drink water and avoid alcohol? If you're the U.S. Government, it'll cost you a pretty penny. Using MuckRock to file a Freedom of Information Act, Rich Jones of GUN.IO discovered the Department of Labor, Occupational Safety and Health Administration paid $106,467 for the Android version; $96,000 for the iPhone version, and an additional $40,000 for a BlackBerry app that never got distributed."

ShavedOrangutan

It was actually $467 for the Android version

... plus $106,000 for change management.

mwvdlee:

You know as well as I do that you can't function as a developer unless you spend at least half your day reporting progress to management. If the six layers of management above you don't know what you're doing, how could you?

Samantha:

Summary can't add

The iPhone version was $56,000. The Blackberry version was $40,000. Together, they were $96,000. It says this very clearly in the original scan.

dredwerker

The iPhone version was $56,000. The Blackberry version was $40,000. Together, they were $96,000. It says this very clearly in the original scan.

It doesn't sound that much once you have dealt with specs and tenders with govt orgs.

Commissar Julia Joffe teaches peasants what to think

September 23, 2011

Dmitry

Just another useful idiot head of a G7 country… The US, Italy, France, Germany, now the UK… Which states are NOT ruled by useful idiots, LR, “Kosovo”, probably? Why don’t you emigrate?

Commissar Julia Joffe

What you don’t understand, because you are an idiotic Russian, is a little thing we have in the West called an election. Where we live, unlike your sad, frozen little prison, we can throw out the useful idiots and replace them with brilliant heroes, like Ronald Reagan for example. Today a useful idiot, tomorrow John McCain. Who knows, maybe one day Russians will get grown up and civilized enough to try it for themselves.

[Nov 03, 2011] Were Customer Accounts Pilfered at Jon Corzine’s MF Global (Updated)

October 31, 2011 | naked capitalism

Cynthia:

There once was a prick named Corzine

His firm looked sick but he said it was fine

Then he finally went broke

Client funds went up in smoke

With any luck he’ll be doing some time

H/T: Red Pill at Zero Hedge

[Nov 02, 2011] Remains Of Ancient Race Of Job Creators Found In Rust Belt

The Onion
WASHINGTON—A team of leading archaeologists announced Monday they had uncovered the remains of an ancient job-creating race that, at the peak of its civilization, may have provided occupations for hundreds of thousands of humans in the American Northeast and Midwest.

According to researchers, these long- forgotten people once flourished between western New York state and Illinois, erecting highly distinctive steel and brick structures wherever they went, including many buildings thought to have held hundreds of paid workers at a time.

"It's truly fascinating—after spending a certain number of hours performing assigned tasks, the so-called 'employees' at such facilities would receive monetary compensation that allowed them to support themselves and their families," said archaeologist Alan H. Mueller, citing old ledgers and time-keeping devices unearthed at excavation sites in the region. "In fact, this practice seems to have been the norm for their culture, which consisted of advanced tool users capable of exploiting their skills to produce highly valued goods and services."

"It's a complex and intriguing set of rituals we're still trying to fully understand," Mueller added. "But it appears as if their entire society was centered around creating, out of thin air, actual jobs that paid an actual living wage."

[Nov 02, 2011] Obama Publishes Tell-All Book About America

The Onion - America's Finest News Source

In the 800-page volume, titled O Say Have I Seen: The Real Truth Behind The Red, White, And Blue, the president renders in explicit detail numerous shocking revelations about the United States, including its inability to manage its finances, its struggles with oil addiction, its willful ignorance of the issues that affect it most deeply, and its frequent battles with obesity.

"Anyone with even a passing interest in the nation is going to want to read all the juicy tidbits the president offers up here," publicist Armand Neal said of the book that draws from Obama's firsthand experiences as well as candid conversations with millions of U.S. insiders. "Nobody has had as much firsthand access to America's demons as the president, and he dishes dirt on everything from the nation's self-destructive, codependent relationship with the pharmaceutical industry to its habit of repeatedly borrowing and spending its way into massive amounts of debt. I promise you, he spills everything—everything—about the United States."

[Oct 29, 2011] Charlatans and Cranks

Economistsview

Suzy Khimm poses a question to the Perry campaign:

1) How will the new tax breaks for the wealthy be paid for?
Per e the necessary revenue to balance the budget by 2020.

So the tax cuts will pay for themselves? Greg Mankiw:

I used the phrase "charlatans and cranks" in the first edition of my principles textbook to describe some of the economic advisers to Ronald Reagan, who told him that broad-based income tax cuts would have such large supply-side effects that the tax cuts would raise tax revenue. I did not find such a claim credible, based on the available evidence. I never have, and I still don't.

[Oct 26, 2011] But This Means That 29% of Americans Are Completely Bonkers...

Delong blog

Eric Boehlert:

Twitter: @EricBoehlert Eric Boehlert:

great job Boehner: 71% of Americans don't think GOP has clear plan to create jobs; http://nyti.ms/udVDyp

[But this means that 29% of Americans are completely bonkers...]

[Oct 14, 2011] In Praise of Marx

The Chronicle of Higher Education

In Praise of Marx 3

OBB ON THE SCENE

[Oct 04, 2011] The Case for Using Predator Drone Strikes Against Wall Street Executives:

The Rude Pundit

... ... ...

- We can say, with certainty, that certain executives in various firms were responsible either directly for or directed others to engage in the reckless investment schemes that resulted in firms going bankrupt or in need of a bailout from the federal government. Under this condition, we can target [name redacted] of [firm redacted] who concealed $50 billion in loans in order to inflate the firm's value while at the same time personally taking several hundred million dollars in compensation. We know this occurred. We have evidence that it occurred. We know that [redacted]'s actions, in part, led directly to the financial crisis of 2008-2009.

- If the targeted killing of American citizens is justified in our ongoing war with terrorists above and beyond any previous congressional authorization, and if the military has previously been involved in the ongoing war on drugs, then we can say with confidence that the proposed targeted attacks on financial executives falls under the purview of the "War on Poverty," which was declared by President Lyndon Johnson in 1964 and which, like the ten-year war on terrorists and the forty-year war on drugs, has not been successfully concluded. This might seem to strain legal justification, but we are talking about criminals who have done grievous harm to the nation.

... ... ...

The total use of Predator drones against financial industry executives would most likely be minimal. After several strikes, we anticipate that others will turn themselves in to authorities for prosecution out of fear for their lives.

... ... ...

Respectfully submitted,
[name redacted]

[Oct 04, 2011] A Brief History of Corporate Whining Progressive Political Cartoon by Barry Deutsch

A Brief History of Corporate Whining

[Oct 03, 2011] Just another Moral Code of The Builder of Capitalism (Part 1)

April 28, 2010 | Zed244's Blog

In the left-hand-side column you find a translation of the original Moral Code of The Builder of Communism [1] which you can compare with the newly formulated Code on the right hand side. With this arrangement the unquestionable superiority of the latter can be clearly seen and appreciated. For non-monolingual people – ref. [2] contains the original text of the Code in Russian.

Moral Code of the Builder of Communism Moral Code of the Builder of Capitalism
1. Devotion to the cause of Communism, love of the socialist Motherland and of the socialist countries. Devotion to the cause of capitalism, love of the capitalist Motherland and of the other capitalist countries.
2. Conscientious labor for the good of society: he who does not work, neither shall he eat. Conscientious effort to obtain a direct government assistance, the government contracts or any other form of public money: those who don’t receive government funds, will only find themselves funding the government.
3. Concern on the part of everyone for the preservation and growth of public property. Concern on the part of everyone else for the preservation and growth of public property by them for you to use
4. High sense of public duty; intolerance of actions harmful to the public interest. High sense of capitalistic public duty and sanctity of (your) private property; intolerance of actions by others harmful to your private business interests.
5. Collectivism and comradely mutual assistance: one for all and all for one. Individualism and readiness to fight for your piece of pie: each one for himself, against everyone. Remember: the only goal of any business is to make the owner richer than other people, so the others might be permitted to benefit only if it cannot be avoided.
6. Humane relations and mutual respect between individuals: man is to man a friend Show humility and do respect the potential strength of others – up until you have measured them up: human humanum lupus est. Remember: competition is the primary driving force of capitalism. Elimination of the competition is the fastest road to your financial success.
7. Honesty and truthfulness, moral purity, unpretentiousness and modesty in social and private life. Public display of appearance of honesty and truthfulness, libertarian moral purity Friedman-style, unpretentiousness and modesty in social and private life (so as not to disturb the plebs too much).
8. Mutual respect in the family, concern for the upbringing of children. Mutual respect in the own family – proportional to the individual contributions to the family budget, concern for the upbringing of your own children in accordance with this code. Remember that your family are just people – they are as much after your money as anyone else.
9. Irreconcilability towards injustice, parasitism, dishonesty, careerism, and profiteering. Irreconcilability towards unjust distribution of unearned income to others, including social benefits. Fight dishonesty, careerism and all other attempts of profiteering by hired labor force.
10. Friendship and brotherhood among all peoples of the USSR, intolerance of national and racial hatred. If and when – and only if & when – this helps your business – open and public display of friendship and brotherhood among all people, intolerance of national and racial hatred. In other cases you will be a fool not to use such inexpensive tool as racism to efficiently reduce the cost of hired labor.
11. Intolerance towards the enemies of communism, peace, and freedom of nations. Intolerance towards the enemies of capitalism, enemies of peace (if you are not in defense industry) and enemies of the freedom of other nations to follow your nation’s understanding of economic liberty principles appropriate for them.
12. Fraternal solidarity with the working people of all countries, and with all peoples. Fraternal solidarity with capitalists of all countries up until you see a chance to rip them off dry.
PS. On a (slightly) more serious note – I am not a communist, have never been one and most likely will never be – because I haven’t yet met sufficiently large number of people ready to live strictly by the rules in the left-hand-side column above. “Sufficiently large” – to form a party, that’s it. Perhaps, this shortage was the reason why the “communism” as economic system had never worked as intended. But neither did pure (“wild”) capitalism – as Russian experience of 90s demonstrated all too clearly.

[Oct 02, 2011] Money Out of Thin Air or Tale About $100 and The Door

Zed244's

this is not written by zed244 - it is a translation of the text in Russian at http://www.avanturist.org/blog/post/28 . More of the same author here http://tinyurl.com/43b9pmy (in Russian) – highly recommended.

For those who want a touch of reality – as of 21 of September 2011 – it is here

Quote”..To support a stronger economic recovery and to help ensure that inflation, over time, is at levels consistent with the dual mandate, the Committee decided today to extend the average maturity of its holdings of securities. The Committee intends to purchase, by the end of June 2012, $400 billion of Treasury securities with remaining maturities of 6 years to 30 years and to sell an equal amount of Treasury securities with remaining maturities of 3 years or less..”

Let say we – I, You and Chronoscopist – were on a plane across the Pacific Ocean. While on board, we consumed substantial amount of absinthe, kicked up a row and in the process tore off a door to the toilet. For our noble deeds we were promptly thrown out of the plane via emergency exit. Luckily, next to where we plunged into the water, was a small nameless Polynesian island. After we climbed on its soil, we held a short council and decided to name the island The United States of Absinthe (USA).

Naturally, when we were thrown out of the plane, they forgot to return us our luggage. As the result, all our tangible and intangible assets consisted of the toilet door, which You forgot to leave on the plane and a single $100 note which You discovered in your wallet. Thus all non-financial assets of our USA consist of one toilet door, and all financial, aka “money supply”, of a single $100 note. This is all our country has. Since we have nothing else, it can also be said that our material assets – the toilet door, supports (secures) the money supply of $100. Or, in other words, our door costs $100.

Still under the influence of absinth, we decide that we need to start getting the things organised. The Chronoscopist, proved to be the shrewdest – he announces that he opened a bank and is ready to accept deposits from the island’s population and promises to pay 3% interest annually. You give him your $100 and he writes it under “Liabilities” -> “Deposit Accounts” in his book.

But I am too not just out of the woods – indeed, after so many years I spent investigating economic swindles, I now know how to expropriate your door and your $100. I offer You 5% interest on your $100. I tear off a sheet of paper from my notebook and write “Bond Certificate of USA. Issued for the amount $100 at 5% interest, paid annually”. You feel that You have drawn a full hand. You withdraw your money from the deposit account You have with the disappointed Chronoscopist and give it to me in exchange for my Bond. I take your $100 and immediately deposit it into my account with now smiling Chronoscopist.

Ideally, we could have stopped right here and then, and start doing something real, say, shake the palm tree or try to collect shell fish – to eat our bread in the sweat of our faces, so-to-speak. But you all know that I am indefatigable financial genius, and I am not interested in the petty things such as coconuts and oysters. After a refreshing tour of our island – 50 steps from South to North and 30 from West to East, I invent an ingenuous combination. I approach You and offer You to earn an additional 1% annually. You should take a loan in Chronoscopist’s bank at 4% and use it to buy from me another USA Bond at 5% interest. This second Bond Certificate for $100 I have just written, and now I wave it in front of your nose. Immediately You rush to the bank and borrow $100 there, using my first Bond as a security. The Bank has the money – I put it there on my deposit account. You give me the $100 You have borrowed and put the second USA Security Bond into your wallet. Now You have $200 worth of USA Bonds. I put $100 in the Bank – now I have $200 on my deposit account. Chronoscopist jumps from joy – his credit business is growing up!

Do you really think I am going to stop there? Hold your horses – I have already written a third USA Bond for You. You rush to the Bank to borrow another $100, secured this time with my second Bond. Closer to the night, got tired of running around the island with this single $100 note and having used all pages in my diary to write USA Bonds, we have the following results: You have $5,000 worth of USA Bonds, while I have $5,000 deposited on my account.

Now I feel that this is the right time to expropriate your toilet door. I offer to buy it from You for $100. But You do not want to sell the only toilet door on the island for $100 and ask $1,000. Well, I agree – after all I have $5,000 on my deposit account. I use the last page left in my diary to write a Payment Order to Chronoscopist to transfer $1,000 from my account to yours – and take your door.

If this accounting is given to an American economist, he or she will inform you that our USA had $1,000 in assets in the form of toilet door and $10,000 financial assets in bank deposits and USA Bonds. Which means that our combined wealth increased 110 fold in one day. Well, a less refined and educated observer, might say that we are the three idiots, because by the end of the day we still have nothing but the same one toilet door and $100, and that only complete imbeciles could have spent the whole day tearing sheets out of their diaries to write nonsense, instead of collecting coconuts or shell fish. Who of the two is correct –you, the Reader, should decide yourself.

2008

[Sep 30, 2011] Friedrich Hayek Joins Ayn Rand as a Hypocritical User of Medicare

naked capitalism
Per Yasha Levine and Ames in the Nation:

IHS vice president George Pearson (who later became a top Koch Industries executive) responded three weeks later, conceding that it was all but impossible to arrange affordable private medical insurance for Hayek in the United States. However, thanks to research by Yale Brozen, a libertarian economist at the University of Chicago, Pearson happily reported that “social security was passed at the University of Chicago while you [Hayek] were there in 1951. You had an option of being in the program. If you so elected at that time, you may be entitled to coverage now.”

A few weeks later, the institute reported the good news: Professor Hayek had indeed opted into Social Security while he was teaching at Chicago and had paid into the program for ten years. He was eligible for benefits. On August 10, 1973, Koch wrote a letter appealing to Hayek to accept a shorter stay at the IHS, hard-selling Hayek on Social Security’s retirement benefits, which Koch encouraged Hayek to draw on even outside America.

[Sep 22, 2011] Mass Pillaging, American Style

The American Congress (Parliament) a den of thieves, megalomaniacs and jackarses as the world has rarely seen, except maybe in the final days of the Roman Senate, are about to help their owners, the super bankers, to become the biggest owners of improved property, in the world.

How is this?

Very easy. The American government organizations of HUD, Fanni Mae and Freddie Mac have become the primary owners of the vast majority of American "distress" property.

[Sep 15, 2011] My new biggest priority

Hat tip to Barry Ritholtz

QOTD: Alan Greenspan on Moral Hazard By Barry Ritholtz

September 9th, 2011

The ever ironic former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan on whether government intervention can create moral hazard:

“There were unintended consequences to almost every action I was involved in” as Fed chairman, said Mr. Greenspan, who himself cut interest rates to help stave off a bond-market crisis in 1998, and later was accused of helping inflate the stock bubble of the late 1990s. “If we anticipated the unintended consequences that were going to happen we might have changed the policy,” he said, but he added that it is impossible to forecast all the consequences of government action.

-WSJ August 29th, 2011

Please make it stop . . .

[Aug 14, 2011] Sorry Mr. Obama dailysquib.co.ukh4>

HarrisonBergeron

...Obama is no FDR.

Salviati

Obama is not even Herbert Hoover.

[Aug 13, 2011] 10 Myths That Politicians Want You to Believe by John DeFeo

Hat tip to Barry Ritholtz
August 12th, 2011

From John DeFeo at TheStreet.com, comes these 10 Myths That Politicians Want You to Believe (but you shouldn’t)

10. Quantitative Easing Helps the Economy
Yes, quantitative easing is “printing” money. No, it won’t help the economy. Make no mistake, quantitative easing is a gift to bankers and nothing else. The Federal Reserve is giving bankers risk-free trading profits and causing food and gas prices to surge (making it even harder for Americans to get out of debt).

9. Republicans Are Fiscal Conservatives
From 1946-2010:

Democratic President
* Total Years: 29
* Average Inflation Adjusted Deficit: $150.73 billion

Republican President
* Total Years: 36
* Average Inflation Adjusted Deficit: $202.28 billion

8. President Obama Is an Enemy of Wall Street
* The two men who served as principal negotiators for banking deregulation: Gene Sperling and Larry Summers.
* The two men who President Obama appointed to become his top economic advisers: Gene Sperling and Larry Summers.
* Two guys who happen to be paid millions of dollars in consulting and speaking fees by “too big to fail” banks: Gene Sperling and Larry Summers.

7. The Financial System Is Safer Today Than in 2008
The majority of “too big to fail” banks are even bigger. Meanwhile, high-frequency trading is alive and well and the causes of the Flash Crash have not been addressed.

6. The ‘Bush Tax Cuts’ Increased Tax Revenue
Washington has always had a spending problem, but since the “Bush Tax Cuts,” we have a revenue problem as well. From 1990 to 2000, U.S. tax revenue had a period of exceptional growth. Following the 2001 tax cuts, revenue plummeted — then recovered — then plummeted again.

5. ‘No One’ Could Have Seen the Financial Crisis Coming
No one — except for everyone who did. TheStreet has interviewed numerous economists and money managers who have been pounding the table for years.

4. If You Support Capitalism, You Support Big Business
Can a corporation be socialist? Corporations and governments are very similar entities, and both can have capitalist or socialist leanings. If a politician praises big business while chastising big government, or the other way around, be skeptical.

3. Republicans Are a Bunch of Fat-Cat Millionaires
The average congressperson is a millionaire, and if you break down the 50 richest members of Congress by political party, here’s the split:
Republican: 22
Democrat: 28

2. The U.S. Has the Highest Standard of Living in the World
According to the United Nations’ most recent Human Poverty Index (from 2008), the U.S. standard of living ranks 17 of 19 among developed countries. The ranking is a composite of life expectancy, literacy, long-term unemployment and income equality — while this data is over three years old, it’s not unthinkable that our situation has worsened in the aftermath of the Great Recession.

1. U.S. GDP Is Growing
U.S. GDP has increased by 4.26% from 2007 to 2010, according to data compiled by the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis. In the same period of time, the U.S. national debt has increased by 61.6%, according to the U.S. Treasury. Looking at these numbers, you don’t need to be an economist to see that something is very, very wrong.

[Aug 12, 2011] Two Headed Monster

The Big Picture

[Aug 12, 2011] 10 Thursday AM Post-Crash Reads

August 11, 2011 | The Big Picture

[Aug 6, 2011] And Just Because.... "Is There A Risk The US Could Lose Its AAA Rating-" Tim Geithner- "No Risk"

Peter Barnes “Is there a risk that the United States could lose its AAA credit rating? Yes or no?”

Geithner’s response: “No risk of that.”

“No risk?” Barnes asked.

“No risk,” Geithner said.

[Aug 05, 2011] Blast from the past

[Aug 03, 2011] Washington Chain Saw Massacre - Readers' Comments - NYTimes.com

Dreiser

"The Night of The Living Dead"- 1969 movie, the Zombies were a metaphor for the implosion of American capitalism, the cannibalism was a metaphor for a society...

Although zombie cannibals were inspired by Matheson's I Am Legend, film historian Robin Wood sees the flesh-eating scenes of Night of the Living Dead as a late-1960s critique of American capitalism.

Wood asserts that the zombies represent capitalists, and "cannibalism represents the ultimate in possessiveness, hence the logical end of human relations under capitalism." He argues that the zombies' victims symbolized the repression of "the Other" in bourgeoisie American society, namely civil rights activists, feminists, homosexuals and counterculturalists in general"..

[Aug 03, 2011] Randy Wray The Budget Compromise – Congress Creates a Rube Goldberg Doomsday Machine

August 2, 2011 | naked capitalism

Max424

The Dow is down 265.87. What’s up with that?

Maybe it just dawned on Mr. Market; if everybody is busted, including Mother Milk Cow,* there will be no one left to rob.

And if Mr. Market can’t rob, he can’t gamble, and if he can’t gamble, he gets depressed.

[Aug 02, 2011] reminder-from-obamas-february-2009

In answer to the generic question regarding President Obama's actions regarding the debt ceiling, I am re-posting this from 2/25/09. In comments of the original I stated that cutting the deficit by 1/2 seemed to "optimistic" for me.
***************************

Ok, here are my basic issues with the substance of President Obama's speech. First, may I remind everyone
that as of 11/08 I declared my divorce successful. Has it become my mission accomplish moment?

I heard this:

“And we will expand our commitment to charter schools. but as a father when I say that responsibility for our children's education must begin at home.”
And thought: 2 tier education system/vouchers, no thank you. Education begins at home when home means one parent has the time to spend at home oppose to both working.

I heard this:

“And we must also begin a conversation on how to do the same for Social Security, while creating tax-free universal savings accounts for all Americans.”
And thought: Are you freak'n kidding me! In this time of financial collapse we're still going to talk about turning an insurance for the masses against the follies of finance into some form to include finance? The entire reason we want to create jobs is because we have suddenly realized that the vast, vast majority do not earn their money from money. Tax free? Has he not heard of 401K, IRA and all it's versions, HSA, higher education accounts? Italy?

I heard this:

“Yesterday, I held a fiscal summit where I pledged to cut the deficit in half by the end of my first term in office.”
And thought: Yeah, how'd that work for the last administration who made such a declaration? Did he have to say “in half”? Has his advisors not taught him about the blip during the FDR recovery? Only one way I can think of doing this: Raise taxes where the money is and whack the defense budget in half and I mean take a swipe at all moneys related to security. Are we really $1 trillion dollars worth of paranoid?

[Aug 02, 2011] Word War Two: After Calling Bernanke A "Hooligan", Putin Now Says America Is "A Parasite" Living Off The Global Economy by Tyler Durden

08/01/2011

Three weeks ago Putin called Bernanke a hooligan. Since that remark came from the (allegedly) largest oil producing country in the world, it provoked nary a peep from America's foreign department. Today, he decided to ratchet up the rhetoric, and in a speech to a Kremlin youth group told his listeners what the bulk of the rest of the world thinks of America: ""They are living beyond their means and shifting a part of the weight of their problems to the world economy," Putin told a Kremlin youth group while touring its summer camp north of Moscow. "They are living like parasites off the global economy and their monopoly of the dollar."" Russia has not made its distrust of America clear in the past, and while others (ahem China) have been jawboning about selling Treasurys even as they continue buying US one-ply paper, Russia has been actively dumping its Treasury paper to the lowest in years. The reason for the unprovoked outburst? The insanity in Congress. "Thank god," Putin said, "that they had enough common sense and responsibility to make a balanced decision." The former KGBer's solution? Other, and more deserving, reserve currencies.

[Aug 01, 2011] And the Wrong Words Make You Listen in this Criminal World by Ken Houghton

angrybearblog.com
Mark Thoma, who supported (and probably voted for) the man during the primaries, is much more gracious than I am:
A vague promise from Democrats about the future is all but worthless right now, we've had too many promises broken already. Obama's promises in particular mean nothing.
The nicest thing I can do is describe this as BarryO's "Only Nixon could go to China moment." ...Obama's version is selling out Democrats and Middle-Class and Aspiring Middle-Class Americans.

...Democrats may still run someone against Obama from the left, though Timothy McVeigh is unavailable.

[Aug 01, 2011] Complete Transcript Of Obama's Not So Grand Compromise ZeroHedge

GlenD:
The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government can’t pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies.

America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that ‘‘the buck stops here.’’ Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.

I therefore intend to oppose the effort to increase America’s debt limit."

U.S. Senator Barack Obama (3/16/2006)

Jul 29, 2011] ‪Former Reagan Policy Advisor Bruce Bartlett Explains How Bush Facilitated Economic Mess

"Fact-Free Assholes" -- LOL!
YouTube

freedombase:

@dfdrox

the Tea Party will defeat you muslim terrorist Jew Killing Socialist thugs and this Bartlett is nothing but a TRAITOR like Benedict Arnold

@wittumy

Bartlett is a Anti American bastard who backs the Muslim terrorist Obama and Hates Capitalism.

Reagan would have? told this Bartlett that he was nothing but a TRAITOR

the man is a Kooky liberal who backs Nazi Anti Semite High taxes and Hates America

[Jul 28, 2011] Double Dippin' (music video)‬‏ - YouTube

A song by Merle Hazard and his band. Lyric here:
http://www.merlehazard.com/Merle_Hazard/DOUBLE_DIPPIN.html

BBC World Service coverage:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p009c5z4

The roller coaster occupants during the guitar solo (1:39) are FDR, John Maynard Keynes, Paul Krugman, and Benoit Mandelbrot, followed by Merle and his band.

That's Hazard with a "z" (not Haggard with a "gg").

[Jul 24, 2011] Is "Finance" a Cult-

Consider, for a second, a quick list of characteristics of mind control techniques that cults use:
"Studies performed by those who believe that some religious groups do practice mind control have identified a number of key steps in coercive persuasion:[31][32]
  • People are put in physical or emotionally distressing situations;
  • Their problems are reduced to one simple explanation, which is repeatedly emphasized;
  • They receive unconditional love, acceptance, and attention from a charismatic leader or group;
  • They get a new identity based on the group;
  • They are subject to entrapment (isolation from friends, relatives and the mainstream culture) and their access to information is severely controlled.[33]"
Let's go through each one by one.

[Jul 24, 2011] Horrible Bosses - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - 07-19-11 - Video Clip Comedy Central

See also Horrible Bosses - Fox News Won't Dumpster Dive - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - 07-19-11 - Video Clip Comedy Central
July 19, 2011

Horrible Bosses Scotland Yard doesn't consider the death of the News of the World whistleblower suspicious, and Rupert Murdoch and his son appear before Parliament.

are u s'ing me

Fox Tool Channel. Did you notice in that clip of Murdoch his hair(what's left of it) was jet black? Two years later it's now white. Must be the stress.

[Jul 24, 2011] Economist's View Sachs America Needs a Third-Party Movement

Sandwichman:

No, no, no. America doesn't need a third party. It needs a third AND a fourth party. The Inane Party and the Insane Party.

The Inane Party will be for war, the plutocracy, a police state and abortion rights.

The Insane Party will be for war, the plutocracy, a police state and gun rights.

Only when those two new parties join the fray will the American voter have a real choice.

[Jul 23, 2011] Shorter Obama Press Conference, by Michael Froomkin

I tried repeatedly to surrender to the House GOP, but they wouldn’t take even my most abject surrender. I have summoned them back to the White House tomorrow morning in another attempt to force them to accept it. If worst comes to worst, and they will not accept my surrender, I am prepared to accept theirs, but I really don’t like it, and will use the opportunity to campaign against Democratic values in the next election.

[Jul 22, 2011] So What Might Happen if We Get to August 3 With No Deficit Deal

naked capitalism

ambrit:

...If ‘they’ put the same ‘gang that couldn’t shoot straight’ in charge as they did in Iraq, we’re in for a very bumpy ride. Snark says: “I’m in Awe of the American Shock Doctrine.”

Cugel:

..give them a few extra weeks and they’ll come to agreement over the corpse of the New Deal.

Robert Asher:

...Look at the reluctance of the European narco dealers (I mean banks of course) who are unwilling to take a loss after the people they addicted cannot afford more drugs.

Middle Seaman:

...It is clear to me that Obama’s bosses, i.e. the rich, will not let the country descend into chaos; it’s way too costly for them.

ambrit
Mr Seaman;
Sorry to quibble, but your comment on the ‘elites’ thinking gives them a bit too much credit for breadth of vision and foresight. E

[Jul 10, 2011] The first and the last press conference of President Obama: same theme, different years

[Jul 04, 2011] The coming firing of employee Obama

frank1569

Remember Sen Durbin's bottom line truth: 'And, frankly, they own the place.'

'They' being Big Bankster and their Big Everything Else Corporate Partners; 'the place' being the government of the United States of America.

Obama is nothing more than an employee of 'the place.' Employees do what they're told or they're fired.

[Jul 03, 2011] Open Thread- The Dance Goes On

Tony Auth via GoComics.com

[Jul 03, 2011] Look What You Can Buy in the Greek Liquidation Sale!

July 3, 2011 | naked capitalism

looter:

Is the Parthenon available? I’ve always had a keen desire to own an authentic Greek temple. It sure would look swell in my back yard.

Sufferin' Succotash:

I’ll take Delphi myself. I’ve always wanted to have my very own private prophet.

[Jun 22, 2011] Frances beat the USA as for stock market appreciation: aka socialism beat cowboy capitalism

[Jun 22, 2011] Whom GS and company fleece

What is called "Households and non-profits" is probably "Robber barons and non-profits" aka top 1% of the US population.

[Jun 22, 2011] Debt Ceiling Choices

[Jun 13, 2011] Obama Gives In to Whining on Wall Street

Economist's View

Seth:

"...President Obama convened two dozen Wall Street executives, many of them longtime donors, in the White House’s Blue Room."

This lede needs a rewrite. A truer version would read:

The CEO brought in to manage the leveraged buyout of CSB Corp (Corporate States of Banking, formerly USA) held a meeting of outside directors in the White House's Blue Room. Suspected at times of excessive sympathy with the employees affected by restructuring plans which include extensive layoffs and termination of pension and health benefits (aka 'entitlements'), Mr. Obama sought to reassure investors in the deal of his commitment to delivering a quick return on their capital.

Most of this capital was provided in the form of subprime CDO collateral during the famous TARP bailout, and has itself been described (by anonymous sources, concerned for their safety) as of 'questionable quality'. But the outside directors who assembled in the White House have denounced these criticisms as 'scurrilous'.

[May 30, 2011] No touching

[May 22, 2011] Taibbi -- “US Politics – Reality Show Sponsored by Wall Street”

He is close: only it's not a reality show, it's a horror show ;-)

[May 18, 2011] The bellicose frivolity of senile empires

“The bellicose frivolity of senile empires”…Barbara Tuchman’s reference to Austria-Hungary before 1914.
May 18, 2011 naked capitalism

FatCat:

I’m safe too. I am THE oligarchic fat cat. The system works for ME. This is oligarch nation now! This MY world now! So bow down before me, you peasants! I foreclosed on your homes, I’ll cut your grandma’s medicare, I’ll privatize your social security, and I am going to make all of you MY serfs.

Is that clear?!

FatCat!

[May 12, 2011] Scocca P.J. O'Rourke Says Don't Vote Republican

Conservative Busheviks have a chance to be as disasterious the USA Inc. as Bolsheviks were for Russia ;-) "It's an elegant warning against the Republican obsession with winning at all costs. The party that marches back into command behind the banner of Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle, O'Rourke is warning his readers, is on a suicide mission"
Prankster and humorist P..J. O'Rourke has fooled the Weekly Standard into printing a savage takedown of the conservative movement, masquerading as a takedown of liberalism. Democrats, O'Rourke writes, are nihilists with no interest in passing good legislation.
They don’t just hate our Republican, conservative, libertarian, strict constructionist, family values guts. They hate everybody’s guts. And they hate everybody who has any. Democrats hate men, women, blacks, whites, Hispanics, gays, straights, the rich, the poor, and the middle class.

[May 10, 2011] Housing Roller Coaster

[May 03, 2011] JSOC The Black Ops Force That Took Down Bin Laden

"...the NSA and CIA have been shut down and their personnel are being reassigned to a brand new Wall Street and Washington Ethics Police Force. " ;-)
May 03, 2011 | The Nation

jedi_mindtrick

I imagined aloud that Obama was going to immediately step back to the mike, after having seemingly finished, to throw in an, "Oh, by the way, I've officially shut down Guantanamo Bay for good, and as of today, the War on Terror is officially declared "won", ALL of our troops and "contractors" are on their way home as I speak, Bradley Manning has been freed on his own recognizance, and the NSA and CIA have been shut down and their personnel are being reassigned to a brand new Wall Street and Washington Ethics Police Force. That is all. Good night, and God bless America."

[Mar 25, 2011] Nice Obamism

it’s simply dishonest

"So it’s not a war; it’s a kinetic military action that is time-limited and contribution-limited on the front end."

[Mar 23, 2011] Fox News - Less Honest than Dictatorships

March 22, 2011 | The Big Picture

bocon007:

It’s all so obvious, BR.

Blitzer and Robertson just don’t love freedom.

Either Sarah Palin with her sensitive Libya contacts, or a local Tea Party chapter there in Tripoli, keeps the Fox News journalists informed of all the facts they could ever need.

[Mar 22, 2011] BaRaCK's LaTiN AMeRiCaN VaCaTioN CuT SHoRT by williambanzai7

03/22/2011

Evidently, the Teleprompter in Chief has finally surmised that it is not a good idea to go on a state vacation the same time you decide to wage a new war, the third largest world economy and a key ally is in the middle of a Level 5 nuclear disaster and epic natural catastrophe and your Ponzi reserve currency is in a tailspin.

This being so, our second highest priest (behind his Hindmost Bernanke) has decided to cut his Latin American vacation stop in El Salvador short by two whole hours according to Reuters.

But before he departs, he will be able to skype a conference call with his national security team, consult some replica Mayan doomsday calendars and dress in traditional highly priestly garb.

[Mar 21, 2011] obama-strategy-share-credit-and-blame MICHAEL D. SHEAR

Too bad that Obama is just a political animal...
March 15, 2011

"As they prepare to wage political war against President Obama, the potential 2012 Republican candidates are doing everything they can to draw sharp distinctions with him.

But Mr. Obama isn't cooperating.

Rather than emphasize his differences with potential Oval Office rivals or Republican adversaries on Capitol Hill, the president is taking every opportunity he can to embrace members of the other party as co-conspirators in his efforts to confront the country's challenges.

According to Mr. Obama, the two parties have cooperated -- or are showing signs of being willing to work together -- on education reform, tax cuts, energy security, economic growth and potential changes to an entitlement system that has become a drain on the nation's budget."

[Mar 19, 2011] Is Nuclear Power Worth the Risk

March 19, 2011 | naked capitalism

Wile E. Capote:

I don’t mind getting cancer to support the expediency of U.S. corporations’ quarterly profits. It’s getting cancer from Japanese radiation leaked due to their corrupt practices that I object to.

DownSouth:

“…we require several orders of magnitude improvement in design if it’s going to be possible at all to have nuclear power with acceptable risks…”

Improvement in design of nuclear power plants, or of human beings?

Trust me, guys like Bush and Obama and their corporate masters could f_ck up a crowbar.

[Mar 13, 2011] Weekend at Bennie's

"While 100,000 workers protest in Wisconsin, Hosni Obama stays mum in his palace. "

[Mar 12, 2011] Sex and economy

It looks like White House is missing a power stimulus, but some small business owner are already using it ...
Jill Anne, a store owner in New York City pole dances in her store and claims business is better than ever.

In a small room in lower Manhattan, the boots come off, the pole is prepared, the music comes on, and the show begins.

The place is far from a strip club or porn shop. Anne is a greeting card store owner.

[Mar 12, 2011] Politics and banksters

It could the defense Fuld can use in his case
Republican US presidential contender Newt Gingrich said his passion and love for America drove him to cheat on his wife early in his political career.

There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate,” he said in an interview with CBN’s David Brody. “I was doing things that were wrong.”

[Mar 12, 2011] The United States on Track to Pay Off the Debt by End of the Decade

This funny, disingenuous, sexually obsessed Bubba...
December 28, 2000

Today, President Clinton will announce that The United States is on course to eliminate its public debt within the next decade. The Administration also announced that we are projected to pay down $237 billion in debt in 2001. Due in part to a strong economy and the President’s commitment to fiscal discipline, the federal fiscal condition has improved for an unprecedented nine consecutive years. Based upon today’s new economic and budget projections for the coming 10 years from the Office of Management and Budget (OMB):

ON TRACK TO ELIMINATE THE DEBT THIS DECADE

LARGEST UNIFIED SURPLUS EVER

[Mar 07, 2011] Ben Trader

[Mar 06, 2011] Wisconsin Humor Fest

March 4, 2011 | naked capitalism

First, Jon Stewart on the teacher versus Wall Street pay logic (hat tip reader Scott via Jesse):

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Crisis in Dairyland – For Richer and Poorer – Teachers and Wall Street
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

Second, a new and improved Downfall parody which, according to Josh Marshall, is vastly better than an earlier attempt (not being a connoisseur of the genre, I’ll take his word. Hat tip reader Scott A):

Topics: Banking industry, Curiousities, Legal, Politics, Social values

[Feb 27, 2011] Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

Rickkk :

CR wrote: "Jobs, Jobs, Jobs"

FEBRUARY 27, 2011, 2:23 P.M. ET

Saudi King Orders Permanent State Jobs for Citizens - WSJ.com

RIYADH—"Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah ordered Sunday permanent state jobs for Saudis on temporary labor contracts amid regional uprisings that have toppled regimes in Tunisia and Egypt and infected neighboring Bahrain."

Great minds think alike. .

pavel.chichikov:

sportsfan wrote:

How many will be created over the next two years by extending the Bush tax cuts for the top 2%?

Can you mix a good cocktail? .

[Feb 19, 2011] Bernanke Blames the Global Financial Crisis on China

February 19, 2011 | naked capitalism

craazyman:

...I was just remembering the movie from the late 1990s with Morgan Freeman as the President and he had to deal with the fact that an asteroid was heading straight for the earth.

I was thinking S@#t, an afro-dude gets elected president and look what happens. bowahahahahah. Not cause and effect, mind you, just bad luck. It could have been Herbert Hoover or even James Garfield.

Who knew, in 1998, that the asteroid would be neoliberalism, and the president would be Professor Obama himself?

pope john:

Foreign investors’ hunger for safe US assets helped to cause the 2007-2009 crisis by encouraging banks to turn risky mortgages into AAA rated bonds, Ben Bernanke, US Federal Reserve chairman, argued in Paris on Friday.

US demand for Grade A heroin helped to cause their domestic drug epidemic, argued drug baron Mahmoud “Needles” Amjab from his yacht in the Maldives. “We’d rather grow food for our people, but we’re just cogs in the machine. And you know those crazy Americans, they love to self-medicate.”

Pixy Dust

China held a gun to American corporations’ heads yelling “move your factories to China because you’ll maximize profits!” Sure, yeah. More amnesia. And productive, hard working Chinese saving too much are at fault? Yeah, that’s makes sense in their parallel universe. But really, these guys make it up as they go along.

Let’s face it, those Federal Reserve Notes aren’t even pretty. Some socialist democratic countries like Canada have had colorful holographic currency for years. Now they have healthy economies and people. Maybe art is a good thing. But try telling these cheapskates that.

Tom Hickey:

Fedspeak: Foreign investors’ hunger for safe US assets helped to cause the 2007-2009 crisis by encouraging banks to turn risky mortgages into AAA rated bonds, Ben Bernanke, US Federal Reserve chairman, argued in Paris on Friday.

Translation: China’s saving the proceeds from its export to the US in dollars caused US banks to commit massive fraud.

[Feb 15, 2011] Today's Quote Of The Day Comes From Tim Geithner

Presented without comment

GEITHNER SAYS `LOTS OF UNFAIRNESS' IN U.S. TAX SYSTEM

[Feb 15, 2011] Obama's Revenue Estimates Are Either Fantasy Or Comedy

Some think that Obama's Budget Is A Fantastic Comedy ;-) "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde

Alaric the Goth:

If that's the change you all voted for, I think you need your money back.

gmj

"The president's job is not to lead, but to divert attention from those who do." Douglas Adams

Steve Giglio:

This is a brand new genre, the first since invention of the Mockumentary

Let's call it FAMEDY

The unholy alliance of fantasy and comedy.

[Jan 29, 2011] Ayn Rand Railed Against Government Benefits, But Grabbed Social Security and Medicare When She Needed Them

AlterNet

Jim the Skeptic

This quote is priceless:

The reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand,” said Paul Ryan, the GOP’s young budget star at a D.C. event honoring the author

If I were vindictive, I would send a copy of that quote to him every year on his birthday! :^)

Of course I assume he has actually read Ayn Rand. It took me about a year or 2 to figure out that no thinking person could possibly believe what she wrote.

[Jan 29, 2011] Herbert Hoover Obama by David Rosenberg

Jesse's Café Américain

I receive an automatic email from Dave Rosenberg of Canadian firm Gluskin Sheff every morning. He is always informed and clever, but occasionally he just makes my day. You can receive his e-letter by registering here.

HERBERT OBAMA?

A long-standing colleague and reader sent this off to me yesterday and it blew
me away. Read on:

Obama’s State of the Union:

“Two years after the worst recession most of us have ever known, the stock market has come roaring back. Corporate profits are up. The economy is growing again.”

Herbert Hoover, May 1st 1930, US Chamber of Commerce Meeting:

“While the crash only took place six months ago, I am convinced we have now passed the worst and with continued unity of effort we shall rapidly recover.”

Obama’s State of the Union:

“Thanks to the tax cuts we passed, Americans’ paychecks are a little bigger today. Every business can write off the full cost of the new investments they make this year. These steps, taken by Democrats and Republicans, will grow the economy and add to the more than one million private sector jobs created last
year.”

Herbert Hoover, October 22, 1932, campaign speech in Detroit:

“It can be demonstrated that the tide has turned and that the gigantic forces of depression are today in retreat. Our measures and policies have demonstrated their effectiveness. They have preserved the American people from certain chaos. They have preserved a final fortress of stability in the world.”

Obama’s State of the Union:

“But now that the worst of the recession is over...”

Herbert Hoover, June 1930, to a delegation requesting a public works project:

“Gentlemen, you have come sixty days too late. The depression is over.”

Obama’s State of the Union:

“The steps we’ve taken over the last two years may have broken the back of this recession…”

Herbert Hoover, State of the Union, December 6, 1932:

“The unprecedented emergency measures enacted and policies adopted undoubtedly saved the country from economic disaster…”

[Jan 27, 2011] The Teleprompter Tells It Like It Is

[Jan 27, 2011] The phrase "when the economy picks up" has apparently become ironic...

The Urban Dictionary declared it Word of the Day today, and suggests it's a handy-dandy way of saying "whenever," pace the Spanish "mañana."

when the economy picks up

January 10, 2011 Urban Word of the Day

Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to:

1. provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.

2. suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word "mañana.")

3. add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.

1. There's no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.
2. I'll start my business when the economy picks up.
3. Unemployment levels will go back down to the levels they were in the late 1990s when the economy picks up.

[Jan 22, 2011] American Competitiveness, and the President's New Relationship with American Business by Robert Reich

Whenever you hear a business executive or politician use the term “American competitiveness,” watch your wallet.

[Jan 21, 2011] "All In All It Appears That Eisenhower’s Worst Fears Have Been Realized And His Remarkable And Unique Warnings Given For Naught" by George Washington

"While I do not entirely agree with your scathing judgment of GW, this is brilliant satire! "
01/20/2011

loup garou:

----> Little Georgie’s Blog

I’m against all war. Every war ever fought has been the result of “false flag“ attacks. No nation in history has ever actually attacked another nation, except of course the U.S.A. Because I said so in my blog. (See this.) Also, war costs a lot of money, which would be better spent on stuff like “Cash-for-golf carts” programs and more frisbees for prison inmates.

I’m a “Truther”, and we “Truthers” have a monopoly on the truth. Because I said so. (See here.) And to prove it, I will use any flimsy crap -- printed or spoken in any venue by any dubious entity -- if it fits the pre-ordained template of my open mind. And if you disagree, it’s because you’re closed-minded or brainwashed or a CIA plant or in denial or something. (See this and that.)

Also, you should realize that I’m telling the truth because all of my sources are either “prominent”, or “legendary“, or “leading“, or “noted”, or “experts” in their respective fields. Because I always say so in my blog. (See here, there, and everywhere.)

The U.S.A., and especially Bush/Cheney, are evil. Corporations are evil too, because they‘re always making a mess of the environment and stuff. Intentionally. Because all they care about is making profits by screwing people. And because they hate people and the Earth. All other entities are OK; or, at least, less evil than corporations and George Bush and Dick Cheney, whose real name is “Dick Planet Raper Cheney The Master Of Torture.”

The financial world is full of crooks (duh) and the economy can’t recover until they are all in jail being savagely sodomized by a very large, heavily tattooed inmate named “Big Hector“. If I keep repeating this notion in my blog -- and if I hold my breath until my face turns red -- this fantasy will magically come to pass. Then I’ll be almost happy; but not quite, because I know at least one of them will get away scot-free without being sodomized by Big Hector. And because it’s unlikely that I would get any sodomy video footage to link to. (Not here.)

The “left/right paradigm” is obsolete. There is no more “left” or “right“. Because I said so. (See this and that and there.) So take that, you right-wing scum. However, my usual “sources” (like the Guardian, New York Times, Huffington Post, Daily Kos, FireDogLake, Salon, Der Spiegel, The Nation, Mother Jones, NPR, Bill Moyers, Noam Chomsky, Dennis Kucinich, Michael Moore, MSNBC, Keith Olbermann, The Libtard Gazette, The Hammer and Sickle Herald, and on and on and on…) are as yet oblivious to this new non-ideological reality. Probably because they haven’t read my blog, in which I said so. (See this and that and the other thing again.) Anyway, whatever I copy-and-paste from these unbiased, objective sources is absolute gospel, because they have no agenda except the truth, just like me. Furthermore, I agree with my fellow liberals and lefties that there are no such things as liberals and lefties.

As you can see, my name is “George Washington“, not “George Soros”; even though all the sources where I camp out are media organs for Nazi collaborator George Soros. That’s just a coincidence you should disregard. Because I say so. (See here.) Therefore, I am not a KGB/FSB agent, even though I might as well be.

It is also just a coincidence that America-haters, Marxists, “Truthers”, “Birthers”, Holocaust deniers, Stalin apologists, anti-Semites, Christian haters, racists and other bigots, paranoid schizophrenics, illiterates, frauds, plagiarists, liars and drug dealers… are drawn to me like buzzards on a gut wagon. This has nothing to do with me. It’s not my fault that my fans are so high-class. They read my blog so they can learn from me, because I’m so much smarter and better informed than they are. If they didn’t have me, just think how wretched they would be! (See somewhere.)

Because I have the mind of a child, I can’t repeat myself often enough. Because I have the mind of a child, I can’t repeat myself often enough. Because I have the mind of a child, I can’t repeat myself often enough. Because I have the mind of a child, I can’t repeat myself often enough… (See this and that.)

Do svidaniya,
Georgie One Note

Dionysus:

While I do not entirely agree with your scathing judgment of GW, this is brilliant satire!

[Jan 19, 2011] The myth of 'American exceptionalism' implodes by Richard Wolff

January 18, 2011 | guardian.co.uk

SuperIrons:

Until the 1970s, US capitalism shared its spoils with American workers.

Goddam Commies.

OlaToivonenDaMan:

The richest 10-15% – those cashing in on employers' good fortune from no longer-rising wages – helped bring on the crisis by speculating wildly and unsuccessfully in all sorts of new financial instruments

While the poorest 85% speculated wildly and unsuccessfully on the housing market by buying houses at least 8 times as expensive as they could actually afford.

[Jan 19, 2011] Compassionate GOP

Economist's View

Ralph Musgrave:

Contrary to Krugman’s suggestions, the G.O.P. has shown great concern for the “unfortunate”: look at all those “unfortunate” crooks, criminals and incompetents on Wall Street who have been bailed out with the odd trillion of taxpayers’ money. And please note – the fact that some of this bailout money is then used to fund the election campaigns of G.O.P. politicians is entirely coincidental.

[Dec 23, 2008] David Michael Green Hey, Reagan Democrats!

Sometime in the future...

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll just follow me over in this direction, I’d like to show you one of our rarest and most reviled species here at The Human Zoo – it’s the proverbial ‘Reagan Democrat’.

“Most of your younger visitors here at the Zoo have no idea what a Reagan Democrat could be, so I always like to take the time to explain it to them. Indeed, most of them don’t even know what Reagan was, except that they keep hearing the people who wrecked Old America talk about this wrinkled prune faced guy with the Gumby hair as if he were some sort of deity. I get a lot of questions about how someone could actually have done things that don’t sound even remotely plausible, but I generally leave that for the historians to explain, other than to remind people that injecting religious dogma into politics doesn’t just mean stupidity only when it comes to policies related to sexuality, war, taxation, the economy or the environment.

“But already I digress... The Reagan Democrat (technically, Imbecelicus politici) was always the strangest and most contemptuous of species from the habitat of American politics, as you’ve perhaps already heard. Try to imagine another example from the animal kingdom that could be so readily counted upon to bring harm upon itself and others. There are some of course, but usually they are simply ignorant animals, often with very limited cranial capacity.

“The Reagan Democrat, on the other hand, was simply obnoxiously greedy, and took great pains to aggregate to itself as much stuff as was possible, including even meaningless psychological affirmations of its existential worth. It wasn’t very long, of course, before another animal in the jungle noticed this tendency, and established a parasitic relationship with the Reagan Democrat. These others were known as The Wealthy (Plutocratus illegitimi), and they got very rich – though they could still never seem to achieve happiness – by exploiting the opportunities provided to them by the Reagan Democrat. A very mean-spirited and deceitful group of marketing gurus like Lee Atwater and Karl Rove were generally the weapon of choice for accomplishing this.

“Anyhow, before we enter the exhibit, perhaps I should stop now and take any questions. Yes, you, young lady, what can I tell you?”

“Well, sir, you’ve never quite defined what a Reagan Democrat is. And, especially, why someone associated with Mr. Reagan would be a Democrat. Wasn’t he from that other party, the, uh..., the... Regressocans? ...the Degenocrats?”

“Ah, fine questions, indeed, and you’re quite right that I’ve been remiss in not explaining those fundamentals so far. It’s an occupational hazard, I suppose. We zoo curators get so caught up in admiring our own erudition that we sometimes we forget to do our jobs properly!

“Speaking of which, where were we...? Oh, yes, I was going to answer your questions about the meaning of this term. First of all, let’s get that political party name straight. Reagan was a Republican. That’s what makes the creature we’re about to see so interesting. It came from working class roots, often recently arrived just a generation earlier from some very poor Eastern European country or such. Its local social unit had only recently been elevated to the middle class, and this achievement had everything to do with the progressive policies the Democratic Party. For the first time ever, and because of these policies, it had a good job, a house in the suburbs, two cars, and it could send its offspring to institutions of higher education which had previously been reserved exclusively for elites, as represented by Mr. Reagan’s party.

“But it was very, very greedy, and thus differentiated itself off into a new species which was marked by the fact that it could have its underdeveloped psychology readily appealed to for purposes of exploitation by Republican operatives, representing the economic elite species. In fact, it was actually pretty easy to do. All they had to do was throw some line about an evil foreign bogeyman down to the Reagan Democrat, or perhaps a story about uppity darker skinned members of the genus, or some televised ruse about how very, very bad people were out to destroy Christmas, the silly religious holiday of yore... Anything like that would generally work.

“It really didn’t matter very much what ploy was chosen, though the more naked the appeal to greed or vanity, the better. For instance, a handful of elites could carve out for themselves massive chunks of the commonwealth’s (formerly) common wealth, but as long as they tossed a few pennies in the direction of the Reagan Democrat at the same time, the latter was sure to support what amounted to his or her own financial undoing, every time. Likewise, since the Reagan Democrat tended to be the most fearful and the most self-loathing of animals in the human sphere, the basest appeals to its vanity could also buy votes en masse, and on the cheap, too. You just had to make him feel a little bigger than someone else – women, foreigners, brown people, homosexuals – it didn’t really matter. Then you could get his vote and pick his pocket.”

[Dec 23, 2008] David Michael Green Hey, Reagan Democrats!

Sometime in the future...

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll just follow me over in this direction, I’d like to show you one of our rarest and most reviled species here at The Human Zoo – it’s the proverbial ‘Reagan Democrat’.

“Most of your younger visitors here at the Zoo have no idea what a Reagan Democrat could be, so I always like to take the time to explain it to them. Indeed, most of them don’t even know what Reagan was, except that they keep hearing the people who wrecked Old America talk about this wrinkled prune faced guy with the Gumby hair as if he were some sort of deity. I get a lot of questions about how someone could actually have done things that don’t sound even remotely plausible, but I generally leave that for the historians to explain, other than to remind people that injecting religious dogma into politics doesn’t just mean stupidity only when it comes to policies related to sexuality, war, taxation, the economy or the environment.

“But already I digress... The Reagan Democrat (technically, Imbecelicus politici) was always the strangest and most contemptuous of species from the habitat of American politics, as you’ve perhaps already heard. Try to imagine another example from the animal kingdom that could be so readily counted upon to bring harm upon itself and others. There are some of course, but usually they are simply ignorant animals, often with very limited cranial capacity.

“The Reagan Democrat, on the other hand, was simply obnoxiously greedy, and took great pains to aggregate to itself as much stuff as was possible, including even meaningless psychological affirmations of its existential worth. It wasn’t very long, of course, before another animal in the jungle noticed this tendency, and established a parasitic relationship with the Reagan Democrat. These others were known as The Wealthy (Plutocratus illegitimi), and they got very rich – though they could still never seem to achieve happiness – by exploiting the opportunities provided to them by the Reagan Democrat. A very mean-spirited and deceitful group of marketing gurus like Lee Atwater and Karl Rove were generally the weapon of choice for accomplishing this.

“Anyhow, before we enter the exhibit, perhaps I should stop now and take any questions. Yes, you, young lady, what can I tell you?”

“Well, sir, you’ve never quite defined what a Reagan Democrat is. And, especially, why someone associated with Mr. Reagan would be a Democrat. Wasn’t he from that other party, the, uh..., the... Regressocans? ...the Degenocrats?”

“Ah, fine questions, indeed, and you’re quite right that I’ve been remiss in not explaining those fundamentals so far. It’s an occupational hazard, I suppose. We zoo curators get so caught up in admiring our own erudition that we sometimes we forget to do our jobs properly!

“Speaking of which, where were we...? Oh, yes, I was going to answer your questions about the meaning of this term. First of all, let’s get that political party name straight. Reagan was a Republican. That’s what makes the creature we’re about to see so interesting. It came from working class roots, often recently arrived just a generation earlier from some very poor Eastern European country or such. Its local social unit had only recently been elevated to the middle class, and this achievement had everything to do with the progressive policies the Democratic Party. For the first time ever, and because of these policies, it had a good job, a house in the suburbs, two cars, and it could send its offspring to institutions of higher education which had previously been reserved exclusively for elites, as represented by Mr. Reagan’s party.

“But it was very, very greedy, and thus differentiated itself off into a new species which was marked by the fact that it could have its underdeveloped psychology readily appealed to for purposes of exploitation by Republican operatives, representing the economic elite species. In fact, it was actually pretty easy to do. All they had to do was throw some line about an evil foreign bogeyman down to the Reagan Democrat, or perhaps a story about uppity darker skinned members of the genus, or some televised ruse about how very, very bad people were out to destroy Christmas, the silly religious holiday of yore... Anything like that would generally work.

“It really didn’t matter very much what ploy was chosen, though the more naked the appeal to greed or vanity, the better. For instance, a handful of elites could carve out for themselves massive chunks of the commonwealth’s (formerly) common wealth, but as long as they tossed a few pennies in the direction of the Reagan Democrat at the same time, the latter was sure to support what amounted to his or her own financial undoing, every time. Likewise, since the Reagan Democrat tended to be the most fearful and the most self-loathing of animals in the human sphere, the basest appeals to its vanity could also buy votes en masse, and on the cheap, too. You just had to make him feel a little bigger than someone else – women, foreigners, brown people, homosexuals – it didn’t really matter. Then you could get his vote and pick his pocket.”

CNN Programs - Crossfire links to the video clip.

Here is the transcript of the relevant part of the show. The most powerful quote from Jon Steward was comparing Crossfire (and other puppet shows like Hardball with pro wrestling: "But that's like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition. "

CARLSON: Well, he's been called the most trusted name in fake news. Next, we're joined by Jon Stewart for his one-of-a-kind take on politics, the press and America. We'll be right back.

... ... ...

STEWART: Why do you argue, the two of you?

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: I hate to see it.

CARLSON: We enjoy it.

STEWART: Let me ask you a question.

CARLSON: Well, let me ask you a question first.

STEWART: All right.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Is John Kerry -- is John Kerry really the best? I mean, John Kerry has...

STEWART: Is he the best? I thought Lincoln was good.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Is he the best the Democrats can do?

STEWART: Is he the best the Democrats can do?

CARLSON: Yes, this year of the whole field.

STEWART: I had always thought, in a democracy -- and, again, I don't know -- I've only lived in this country -- that there's a process. They call them primaries.

CARLSON: Right.

STEWART: And they don't always go with the best, but they go with whoever won. So is he the best? According to the process.

CARLSON: Right. But of the nine guys running, who do you think was best. Do you think he was the best, the most impressive?

STEWART: The most impressive?

CARLSON: Yes.

STEWART: I thought Al Sharpton was very impressive.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: I enjoyed his way of speaking. I think, oftentimes, the person that knows they can't win is allowed to speak the most freely, because, otherwise, shows with titles, such as CROSSFIRE.

BEGALA: CROSSFIRE.

STEWART: Or "HARDBALL" or "I'm Going to Kick Your Ass" or...

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Will jump on it. In many ways, it's funny. And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: We have noticed.

STEWART: And I wanted to -- I felt that that wasn't fair and I should come here and tell you that I don't -- it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: But in its defense...

STEWART: So I wanted to come here today and say... Here's just what I wanted to tell you guys.

CARLSON: Yes.

STEWART: Stop.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.

BEGALA: OK. Now

STEWART: And come work for us, because we, as the people...

CARLSON: How do you pay?

STEWART: The people -- not well.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: Better than CNN, I'm sure.

STEWART: But you can sleep at night.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: See, the thing is, we need your help. Right now, you're helping the politicians and the corporations. And we're left out there to mow our lawns.

BEGALA: By beating up on them? You just said we're too rough on them when they make mistakes.

STEWART: No, no, no, you're not too rough on them. You're part of their strategies. You are partisan, what do you call it, hacks.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Wait, Jon, let me tell you something valuable that I think we do that I'd like to see you...

STEWART: Something valuable?

CARLSON: Yes.

STEWART: I would like to hear it.

CARLSON: And I'll tell you. When politicians come on...

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: It's nice to get them to try and answer the question. And in order to do that, we try and ask them pointed questions. I want to contrast our questions with some questions you asked John Kerry recently.

CARLSON: ... up on the screen.

STEWART: If you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you're more than welcome to.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: No, no, no, here's the point.

STEWART: If that's your goal.

CARLSON: It's not.

STEWART: I wouldn't aim for us. I'd aim for "Seinfeld." That's a very good show.

CARLSON: Kerry won't come on this show. He will come on your show.

STEWART: Right.

CARLSON: Let me suggest why he wants to come on your show.

STEWART: Well, we have civilized discourse.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Well, here's an example of the civilized discourse. Here are three of the questions you asked John Kerry.

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: You have a chance to interview the Democratic nominee. You asked him questions such as -- quote -- "How are you holding up? Is it hard not to take the attacks personally?"

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: "Have you ever flip-flopped?" et cetera, et cetera.

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: Didn't you feel like -- you got the chance to interview the guy. Why not ask him a real question, instead of just suck up to him?

STEWART: Yes. "How are you holding up?" is a real suck-up. And I actually giving him a hot stone massage as we were doing it.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: It sounded that way. It did.

STEWART: You know, it's interesting to hear you talk about my responsibility.

CARLSON: I felt the sparks between you.

STEWART: I didn't realize that -- and maybe this explains quite a bit.

CARLSON: No, the opportunity to...

STEWART: ... is that the news organizations look to Comedy Central for their cues on integrity.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: So what I would suggest is, when you talk about you're holding politicians' feet to fire, I think that's disingenuous. I think you're...

CARLSON: "How are you holding up?" I mean, come on.

STEWART: No, no, no. But my role isn't, I don't think...

CARLSON: But you can ask him a real question, don't you think, instead of saying...

STEWART: I don't think I have to. By the way, I also asked him, "Were you in Cambodia?" But I didn't really care.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Because I don't care, because I think it's stupid.

CARLSON: I can tell.

STEWART: But my point is this. If your idea of confronting me is that I don't ask hard-hitting enough news questions, we're in bad shape, fellows. (LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: We're here to love you, not confront you.

CARLSON: We're here to be nice.

STEWART: No, no, no, but what I'm saying is this. I'm not. I'm here to confront you, because we need help from the media and they're hurting us. And it's -- the idea is...

(APPLAUSE)

BEGALA: Let me get this straight. If the indictment is -- if the indictment is -- and I have seen you say this -- that...

STEWART: Yes.

BEGALA: And that CROSSFIRE reduces everything, as I said in the intro, to left, right, black, white.

STEWART: Yes.

BEGALA: Well, it's because, see, we're a debate show.

STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great.

BEGALA: It's like saying The Weather Channel reduces everything to a storm front.

STEWART: I would love to see a debate show.

BEGALA: We're 30 minutes in a 24-hour day where we have each side on, as best we can get them, and have them fight it out.

STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great. To do a debate would be great.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Jon, Jon, Jon, I'm sorry. I think you're a good comedian. I think your lectures are boring.

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: Let me ask you a question on the news.

STEWART: Now, this is theater. It's obvious. How old are you?

CARLSON: Thirty-five.

STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Yes, I do. I do.

STEWART: So this is...

CARLSON: I know. I know. I know. You're a...

STEWART: So this is theater.

CARLSON: Now, let me just...

CARLSON: Now, come on.

STEWART: Now, listen, I'm not suggesting that you're not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie.

CARLSON: They're difficult.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: But the thing is that this -- you're doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great.

BEGALA: We do, do...

STEWART: It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. And I will tell you why I know it.

CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?

STEWART: Absolutely.

CARLSON: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on and you...

STEWART: You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: What is wrong with you?

(APPLAUSE) CARLSON: Well, I'm just saying, there's no reason for you -- when you have this marvelous opportunity not to be the guy's butt boy, to go ahead and be his butt boy. Come on. It's embarrassing.

STEWART: I was absolutely his butt boy. I was so far -- you would not believe what he ate two weeks ago.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

STEWART: You need to go to one. The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk...

CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: Go ahead. Go ahead.

STEWART: I watch your show every day. And it kills me.

CARLSON: I can tell you love it.

STEWART: It's so -- oh, it's so painful to watch.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: You know, because we need what you do. This is such a great opportunity you have here to actually get politicians off of their marketing and strategy.

CARLSON: Is this really Jon Stewart? What is this, anyway?

STEWART: Yes, it's someone who watches your show and cannot take it anymore.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: I just can't.

CARLSON: What's it like to have dinner with you? It must be excruciating. Do you like lecture people like this or do you come over to their house and sit and lecture them; they're not doing the right thing, that they're missing their opportunities, evading their responsibilities? STEWART: If I think they are.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: I wouldn't want to eat with you, man. That's horrible.

STEWART: I know. And you won't. But the thing I want to get to...

BEGALA: We did promise naked pictures of the Supreme Court justices.

CARLSON: Yes, we did. Let's get to those.

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: They're in this book, which is a very funny book.

STEWART: Why can't we just talk -- please, I beg of you guys, please.

CARLSON: I think you watch too much CROSSFIRE.

We're going to take a quick break.

STEWART: No, no, no, please.

CARLSON: No, no, hold on. We've got commercials.

STEWART: Please. Please stop.

CARLSON: Next, Jon Stewart in the "Rapid Fire."

STEWART: Please stop.

CARLSON: Hopefully, he'll be here, we hope, we think.

(APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: And then, did U.S. soldiers refuse an order in Iraq. Wolf Blitzer has the latest on this investigation right after the break.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WOLF BLITZER, CNN ANCHOR: I'm Wolf Blitzer in Washington.

Coming up at the top of the hour, the Pentagon investigator a report that U.S. soldiers refused to go on a dangerous mission in Iraq. We'll have details. In medical news, the FDA prescribes a strongly worded label on antidepressant drugs. And why some experts think the flu vaccine shortage is a grim warning about U.S. vulnerability to bioterrorism.

All those stories, much more, only minutes away on "WOLF BLITZER REPORTS."

Now back to CROSSFIRE.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE.

We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority. Jon, you're bumming us out. Tell us, what do you think about the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story?

STEWART: I'm sorry. I don't.

CARLSON: Oh, OK.

STEWART: What do you think?

BEGALA: Let me change the subject.

STEWART: Where's your moral outrage on this?

CARLSON: I don't have any.

STEWART: I know.

BEGALA: Which candidate do you suppose would provide you better material?

STEWART: I'm sorry?

BEGALA: Which candidate do you suppose would provide you better material if he won?

STEWART: Mr. T. I think he'd be the funniest. I don't...

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: Don't you have a stake in it that way, as not just a citizen, but as a professional comic?

STEWART: Right, which I hold to be much more important than as a citizen.

BEGALA: Well, there you go.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: But who would you provide you better material, do you suppose?

STEWART: I don't really know. That's kind of not how we look at it. We look at, the absurdity of the system provides us the most material. And that is best served by sort of the theater of it all, you know, which, by the way, thank you both, because it's been helpful.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: But, if Kerry gets elected, is it going to -- you have said you're voting for him. You obviously support him. It's clear. Will it be harder for you to mock his administration if he becomes president?

STEWART: No. Why would it be harder?

CARLSON: Because you support...

STEWART: The only way it would be harder is if his administration is less absurd than this one. So, in that case, if it's less absurd, then, yes, I think it would be harder.

But, I mean, it would be hard to top this group, quite frankly.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

STEWART: In terms of absurdity and their world matching up to the one that -- you know, it was interesting. President Bush was saying, John Kerry's rhetoric doesn't match his record.

But I've heard President Bush describe his record. His record doesn't match his record.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: So I don't worry about it in that respect.

But let me ask you guys, again, a question, because we talked a little bit about, you're actually doing honest debate and all that. But, after the debates, where do you guys head to right afterwards?

CARLSON: The men's room.

STEWART: Right after that?

BEGALA: Home.

STEWART: Spin alley.

BEGALA: Home.

STEWART: No, spin alley.

BEGALA: What are you talking about? You mean at these debates?

STEWART: Yes. You go to spin alley, the place called spin alley. Now, don't you think that, for people watching at home, that's kind of a drag, that you're literally walking to a place called deception lane?

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Like, it's spin alley. It's -- don't you see, that's the issue I'm trying to talk to you guys...

BEGALA: No, I actually believe -- I have a lot of friends who work for President Bush. I went to college with some of them.

CARLSON: Neither of us was ever in the spin room, actually.

(BELL RINGING)

BEGALA: No, I did -- I went to do the Larry King show.

They actually believe what they're saying. They want to persuade you. That's what they're trying to do by spinning. But I don't doubt for a minute these people who work for President Bush, who I disagree with on everything, they believe that stuff, Jon. This is not a lie or a deception at all. They believe in him, just like I believe in my guy.

STEWART: I think they believe President Bush would do a better job.

And I believe the Kerry guys believe President Kerry would do a better job. But what I believe is, they're not making honest arguments. So what they're doing is, in their mind, the ends justify the means.

BEGALA: I don't think so at all.

CARLSON: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion.

CARLSON: OK, up next, Jon Stewart goes one on one with his fans...

STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Now, you're getting into it. I like that.

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: OK. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEGALA: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE. We are joined by Comedy Central's Jon Stewart, host of "The Daily Show" and author of No. 1 bestseller, "America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction."

CARLSON: And a ton of fun, I like that too.

BEGALA: Some questions from our audience. Yes sir, what's your name, what's your name?

QUESTION: Hi, my name's David. I'm from Boston.

STEWART: Hi, David.

QUESTION: My question is, what do you think the hump on G.W.'s back during the debate was?

STEWART: Say it again?

QUESTION: What do you think the hump on George's back during the debate was?

STEWART: The hump on his back?

BEGALA: Oh, you're familiar? This is (INAUDIBLE) conspiracy theory. Can I take this one?

STEWART: Yes, please.

BEGALA: It was nothing, his suit was puckering. A lot of people believe he had one of these in his ear. If he was being fed lines by Karl Rove, he would not have been so inarticulate, guys. It's a myth.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: It's not true. There's this huge myth out on the left.

BEGALA: Yes, ma'am.

QUESTION: Renee (ph) from Texas. Why do you think it's hard or difficult or impossible for politicians to answer a straight, simple question?

STEWART: I don't think it's hard. I just think that nobody holds their feet to the fire to do it. So they don't have to. They get to come on shows that don't...

BEGALA: They're too easy on them.

CARLSON: Yes. Ask them how you hold...

STEWART: Not easy on them...

BEGALA: ... saying we were too hard on people and too (INAUDIBLE).

STEWART: I think you're - yes.

CARLSON: All right. Jon Stewart, come back soon.

BEGALA: Jon Stewart, good of you to join us. Thank you very much. The book is "America: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction."

[Oct 11, 2004] On the important of right understanding of the gestures (not related to 2004 presidential debates):

There was a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, “Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture, now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me.”

The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw Death standing in the crowd and he came up to Death and said, “Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?”

“That was not a threatening gesture”, Death said, “It was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.” {As retold by W. Somerset Maugham – 1933)

[Sept 15, 2004] The Word Terrorist Finally Pulled from Dictionary by Steve Young

Sept. 6, 2004 -- HOLLYWOOD (apj.us) -- In a move long anticipated by the editorial staffs at The New York Times and CNN, Merriam-Webster Inc. has announced that they will be pulling the word "terrorist" from the 2005 edition of their dictionaries.

"We've been debating the necessity of word's inclusion as part of the English language for quite some time," said Merriam-Webster historian Daniel Webster XI, "but when those Chechen hostage-taking rebel militant freedom-fighters slaughtered all those innocent children at that Russian school and neither major wire-service nor major newspaper chose to call the killers 'terrorists,' we realized that there was no way the word would ever be used."

"I mean, if you couldn’t call this um... act of revolution event, terrorist, when could you use it?" asked Webster.

Following on the footsteps of Webster's move, thesauruses across the English- and French-speaking word-world quickly took action, deleting multiple entries.

"With limited space, there were far more heavily-utilized terms such as 'suicide bombers', 'insurgents', and especially 'ideological disputers' that merited the room, space or area," added Peter Roget IV.

In a related story, Al Qaeda passionists disconnected the head of an MSNBC reporter.


Steve Young, political editor of National Lampoon and evil genius behind National Lampoon's MoveOnPlease.org, is also the author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" and "Winchell Mink...The Misadventure Begins" (Harper Collins), and writes about politics for AlbionMonitor.net and AmericanPolitics.com.

Doh! Murdoch's Fox News in a spin over 'The Simpsons' lawsuit By Andrew Buncombe

29 October 2003

Serious news is no laughing matter. Especially at Fox News Channel. That, at least, is the allegation of The Simpsons creator Matt Groening, who has accused Rupert Murdoch's "fair and balanced" news channel of threatening legal action after a particularly pointed episode poked fun at Fox.

The episode in question featured a "Fox News Crawl" at the bottom of the screen, which parodied some of the more unlikely items featured by the right-wing news channel.

The cartoon ticker read: "Pointless news crawls up 37 per cent ... Do Democrats cause cancer? Find out at foxnews.com ... Rupert Murdoch: Terrific dancer ... Dow down 5000 points ... Study: 92 per cent of Democrats are gay ... JFK posthumously joins Republican Party ... Oil slicks found to keep seals young, supple ..."

Mr Groening told National Public Radio that, after the cartoon was broadcast last year on Fox Entertainment Channel, he was threatened with legal action by the news channel.

He said: "We did the crawl along the bottom of the screen. Fox said they would sue the show. And we called their bluff because we didn't think Rupert Murdoch would pay for Fox to sue itself. We got away with it.

"But now Fox has a new rule that we can't do those little fake news crawls on the bottom of the screen in a cartoon because it might confuse the viewers into thinking it's real news."

Yesterday, Robert Zimmerman, a spokesman for Fox News Channel, denied that the news channel had ever threatened a lawsuit.

"We are scratching our heads over here," he said. "We liked the cartoon. We thought it was great." Earlier this year, Fox tried to sue the comedian Al Franken over his book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them . The suit was thrown out of court and the publicity helped Mr Franken's book become a bestseller.

If Famous Journalists Became Honest Rappers

If Famous Journalists Became Honest Rappers
by Norman Solomon
The "Bulworth" movie -- with Warren Beatty playing a senator who begins to speak disturbing truths in the form of rap lyrics -- caused quite a stir when it came out five years ago. At the time, I wondered aloud in a column about what might happen if leading journalists followed that fictional example.

I'm biased, but it seems to me that some of my lyrics have stood the test of time. For instance:

DAN RATHER: "I like to tell the public how it pains me so -- to be more superficial and keep racking up the dough."

COKIE ROBERTS: "Born and bred in the pundit patch, I utter easy notions with great dispatch. Every spectrum has a center, every player has a price. If you want to stick my neck out, I have to say no dice."

BRIT HUME: "I love to tell you all the news on Fox TV. My boss man Rupert Murdoch is cool as he can be. He pays me piles of money for tilting to the right. And if you sound progressive, you'll really get a fight."

MARK SHIELDS, AL HUNT, ROBERT NOVAK and MARGARET CARLSON: "We're on the show each week, but the jokes are not so funny. CNN dubbed us 'The Capital Gang' -- but that name refers to money."

JOHN STOSSEL: "As an ABC reporter, I've got lots of clout. Greed is full of virtues, I have no doubt. Evangelist for deregulation, that's my calling -- I laugh when all those losers scream and then start bawling."

TOM BROKAW: "I can tell a story real quick. Gets so simplistic it might make you sick. On the tube, footage trumps a thousand words. General Electric owns NBC, and I'm running with the herds."

TED KOPPEL: "Reporting from Washington for ABC News, I surely know that even power brokers get the blues. I am proud to call Henry Kissinger my friend. We like the Ten Commandments, but number six we must amend."

GEORGE WILL: "To this deplorable level I will not descend. To be so rhythmic while a rhymester -- may heaven forfend! We are elite guardians of fine European values. How dare people drag us down pathological avenues?"

But I don't want to rest on my media hip-hop laurels. So, here are new rap lyrics for some journalistic stars of 2003:

JUDITH MILLER: "You could call me a reporter who's an angel of death -- and I do bear grim resemblance to Lady MacBeth. The New York Times let me spin 'bout WMDs. Got lots of front-page ink, Iraq is on its knees."

BILL O'REILLY: "I huff and I puff and I blow my guests away. I control the microphones, who cares what they say?"

THOMAS FRIEDMAN: "I sure respect the Arabs, they could become like us. The peace process need not be such a bloody fuss. Global trade is the key to make our planet well; let's globalize the corporate state -- in heaven we can dwell."

But why just focus on individuals when the most significant media "rappers" are institutions? For example:

FOX NEWS: "They call us conservative, and that's kinda funny. What we believe in most is our power and our money."

MSNBC: "How craven can we get? Well let's find out! If we can sink lower, then kindly give a shout. Star-spangled pander is our latest gambit. We found the flame of right-wing junk, and now we're gonna fan it."

USA TODAY: "We're in a world of color, with lots to see and buy. Sweet brevity helps us keep Gannett profits high."

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL: "Schizoid to a fault, that's what makes us tacky -- news coverage fine, editorials wacky."

NPR NEWS: "Our stories are getting shorter and shorter, to the despair of many a reporter. And all that spin from Washington can be kind of rough, especially surrounded by so much (bleep) fluff."

The naked king of Fox propaganda did himself in

"And I said on my program, if, if the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clear he had nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again."

Bill O'Reilly (Fox News) -- March 18, 2003.

The Ten Commandments of Compassionate Hypocrisy by Rebecca Lauer

I. Thou shalt talk about Christian principles, but not live by them

II. Thou shalt attack opponents personally when you can't win on policies

III. Thou shalt call yourself pro-life, but be in favor of the death penalty

IV. Thou shalt call yourself pro-life, and put guns in the hands of school children

V. Thou shalt give lip service to democracy while taking away civil liberties

VI. Profit is the Lord Thy God, thou shalt not put the people's interest above those of your corporate contributors

VII. Thou shalt make sure fetuses have health coverage, but leave children and babies behind

VIII Thou shalt bear false witness against your opponents and liberals, and demonize them

IX. Thou shalt run on a moderate platform, then enact right-wing policies as soon as possible

X. Thou shalt call the media liberal, so that people forget that the media is owned by corporations with a conservative fiscal agenda.

The American Reporter Daily Newspaper

"Ari Fleischer, the White House spokesperson, announced that he would be leaving his post sometime this summer. When asked why, Mr. Fleischer denied he would be leaving his post. When reminded that he had just said he was leaving his post, he denied that he had. Then he whispered, 'It's Colin Powell who is leaving the post!' and ducked out of the room."



Etc

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