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Softpanorama |
May the source be with you, but remember the KISS principle ;-)
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Softpanorama |
May the source be with you, but remember the KISS principle ;-)
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Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question: Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ? UNIX consul: Yes, that's correct. Customer: No, what is it ? UNIX consul: Yes. Customer: So, which is the one ? UNIX consul: No. 'which' is used to find the program. Customer: Stop this. Who are you ? UNIX consul: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about yoo. Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ? UNIX consul: Use 'what'. Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true? UNIX consul: No. 'true' gives you 0. Customer: Which one? UNIX consul: 'true' gives you 0. 'which program name' Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it? UNIX consul: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program' to get the revision code. Customer: I want to find the revision code. UNIX consul: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'. Customer: Which command will do what I need? UNIX consul: No. 'which command' will find 'command'. Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that. UNIX consul: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system. Customer: Write what? UNIX consul: No. 'write that'. 'what program'. Customer: Cut that out! UNIX consul: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the options. Customer: Do you always do this? UNIX consul: 'du' will give you disk usage. Customer: HELP! UNIX consul: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System. Customer: You make me angry. UNIX consul: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' when I was upset once. Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more. UNIX consul: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has 'more'. Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now! UNIX consul: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file name. Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC. UNIX consul: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team... This month's humor was submitted by Roger Frank of the Colorado Linux Users and Enthusiasts. He only takes the blame for submission, not authorship - but it's good enough to get a 6" Tux. Thanks for the submission, Roger. The Humor section is for enjoyment only and is not intended to offend anyone. If you are offended, please let us know. If you have a good joke, Linux-related or not, send it to us at newstips@linuxmall.com - we pay for submissions!