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Financial Humor Bulletin, June 2010

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June

[Jun 30, 2010] Crisis of Capitalism

Jun 28, 2010 | RSA

In this short RSA Animate, radical sociologist David Harvey asks if it is time to look beyond capitalism, towards a new social order that would allow us to live within a system that could be responsible, just and humane. View his full lecture at the RSA.

View Comments

[Jun 30, 2010] Time to Investigate Blankfein and Paulson (More AIG Shenanigans Edition) « naked capitalism

“Paulson got a blow job”

[Jun 30, 2010] A Look at the Case-Schiller - No Good News zero hedge

"an ex-cokehead who pretends to be a financial journalist"

russki standart

Larry Kudlow, or Crudlow as he is commonly known on the wrong side of the pond, is an ex-cokehead who pretends to be a financial journalist

Overpowered By Funk:

Larry "Green Shoots/V-shapred recovery" Larry? Cocaine is a helluva drug isn't it?

[Jun 28, 2010] Stamp of idiocy

Asia Times

Perhaps I am so dyspeptic about such displays of raw stupidity because I had just found out that the Federal Reserve created another huge US$8.5 billion of new Fed Credit in mid-June, and simultaneously bought up $7.2 billion in US government securities, which had the effect of removing a nominal $7.2 billion in crappy assets (actual worth pennies on the dollar) out of the economy, thus bailing out some halfwit scumbags who owned the toxic assets and would otherwise go bust, and replaced it with cash, recapitalizing the idiots! In One Freaking Week (OFW)!

[Jun 28, 2010] California welfare recipients withdrew $1.8 million at casino ATMs over eight months

latimes.com

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger issues an executive order requiring recipients to promise they will use cash benefits only to meet basic subsistence needs. GOP legislators call for the cash to be returned.

[Jun 25, 2010] Rent a White Guy

The Atlantic

Not long ago I was offered work as a quality-control expert with an American company in China I’d never heard of. No experience necessary—which was good, because I had none. I’d be paid $1,000 for a week, put up in a fancy hotel, and wined and dined in Dongying, an industrial city in Shandong province I’d also never heard of. The only requirements were a fair complexion and a suit.

“I call these things ‘White Guy in a Tie’ events,” a Canadian friend of a friend named Jake told me during the recruitment pitch he gave me in Beijing, where I live. “Basically, you put on a suit, shake some hands, and make some money. We’ll be in ‘quality control,’ but nobody’s gonna be doing any quality control. You in?”

I was.

And so I became a fake businessman in China, an often lucrative gig for underworked expatriates here. One friend, an American who works in film, was paid to represent a Canadian company and give a speech espousing a low-carbon future. Another was flown to Shanghai to act as a seasonal-gifts buyer. Recruiting fake businessmen is one way to create the image—particularly, the image of connection—that Chinese companies crave. My Chinese-language tutor, at first aghast about how much we were getting paid, put it this way: “Having foreigners in nice suits gives the company face.”

Six of us met at the Beijing airport, where Jake briefed us on the details. We were supposedly representing a California-based company that was building a facility in Dongying. Our responsibilities would include making daily trips to the construction site, attending a ribbon-cutting ceremony, and hobnobbing. During the ceremony, one of us would have to give a speech as the company’s director. That duty fell to my friend Ernie, who, in his late 30s, was the oldest of our group. His business cards had already been made.

[Jun 25, 2010] Tom Adams Face to Face With Polished Wall Street Psychopathy (SEC Says that ICP Stole from My Old Company Edition)

naked capitalism

Richard Kline

If it was a Nigerian email contact with evident troubles in standard English diction, the same product and specs wouldn’t have been touched with an echolocator. But because it was GS, Putnam, ICP sitting down across the table the same deals got done; “Just give us the money; we’ll look after you.” Turns out the only diffrence between the two types of sources is their GPS coordinates.

[Jun 22, 2010] An Invisible Gorilla is killing America's soul by Paul B. Farrell

MarketWatch

On Lake Wobegon "all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children are above average" says the great American satirist Garrison Keillor in his "Prairie Home Companion" world.

But doesn't that also describe all the too-greedy-to-fail fatheads running Wall Street? And, unfortunately, Main Street America's 95 million irrational and self-sabotaging investors?

Yes, all of us! We're Americans. Don't confuse us with the facts, with reality. We're the greatest in history, a legend in our own minds. And a rapidly mutating virus is spreading this lethal pandemic far beyond the shores of Lake Wobegon. Yes, folks, the "Lake Wobegon Effect" is hard-wired in America's brain, an illusion of superiority, a smug arrogance where each knows we are the best, the chosen ones.

Warning: The Lake Wobegon Effect is the single best summary of today's stock market psychology, high-frequency trading, behavioral economics theories and the new science of irrationality ... and it's sucking the life out of America's soul. Here, listen to more of these arrogant musings surfacing everywhere from deep in our collective brains:

This is America's collective brain buzzing along at hyperspeed. This is the toxic irrationality driving America in the 21st Century ... and it really is destroying our soul from within. Seriously, look outside the isolation bubble you live in. Ask why so many other American brains are on autopilot, guided by what Yale psychologist Dr. Paul Bloom humorously calls the Lake Wobegon Effect in his New York Times review of "The Invisible Gorilla" by psychologists Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simon...

[Jun 21, 2010] Good news! Obama "won't rest" till the spill is handled.

JammieWearingFool

Obama hits golf course with Biden on another hot, humid weekend - The Hill's Blog Briefing Room

President Barack Obama hit the golf course Saturday with Vice President Joe Biden.

[Jun 19, 2010] Guest Post Corporate Entities As Modern-Day Street Gangs zero hedge

ToNYC :

Corporate Communications is today's equivalent of Plantation Education in the 1850s

cossack55 :

Amerika": Land of the Fee and Home of the Slave.

You get the goobermint you deserve. Have some more shrimp.

[Jun 19, 2010] On the Curious and Misguided Defenses of BP « naked capitalism

TSTS – Too Sleazy Too Save!

[Jun 19, 2010] The New Republic Lays on Hot and Heavy JP Morgan PR

"The “Versailles sleaze” as Glenn Greenwald puts it is now expanding into the financial sector."
naked capitalism

An amusing bit is how low the yield was on the efforts to get companies to shill for Wall Street:

“What they wanted was, ‘Hey, let’s get the dopey end users to go out and be the face of reform,’” recalls another person who participated in the strategizing.“‘We don’t have the credibility.’”…

The hope, according to a source privy to the calls and to internal planning documents, was that pressure from end users would help preserve the status quo on the derivatives the dealers sold to firms like hedge funds — which is to say, many of their most lucrative bets. “What you really had was fear,” says this person, fear that the profits from derivatives would evaporate…..

A handful of end users were on the initial calls and grumbled about their role in the plan. But, as a group, the end users did eventually become the public face of a well-financed campaign

Yves here. This is every rapist’s fantasy: to get the victim to say in public she really did want it.

[Jun 18, 2010] Greenspan recommends shorting the USA government debt and dollar

Is this guy playing a parody on Hjalmar Schacht or just a cornered rat ? As Barry Ritholtz noted "A brief look at the Greenspan legacy, along with his track record of forecasts, leads to the obvious conclusion: Greenspan is an economist to blithely ignore, as his commentary contains almost nothing of value other than its status as a contrary indicator."
Yahoo! Finance

The United States, and most of the rest of the developed world, is in need of a tectonic shift in fiscal policy. Incremental change will not be adequate. In the past decade the U.S. has been unable to cut any federal spending programs of significance.

I believe the fears of budget contraction inducing a renewed decline of economic activity are misplaced. The current spending momentum is so pressing that it is highly unlikely that any politically feasible fiscal constraint will unleash new deflationary forces. I do not believe that our lawmakers or others are aware of the degree of impairment of our fiscal brakes. If we contained the amount of issuance of Treasury securities, pressures on private capital markets would be eased.

Fortunately, the very severity of the pending crisis and growing analogies to Greece set the stage for a serious response. That response needs to recognize that the range of error of long-term U.S. budget forecasts (especially of Medicare) is, in historic perspective, exceptionally wide. Our economy cannot afford a major mistake in underestimating the corrosive momentum of this fiscal crisis. Our policy focus must therefore err significantly on the side of restraint.

[Jun 18, 2010] Aurophobia by Tyler Durden

06/17/2010

Aurophobia is defined by Webster's dictionary as an abnormal fear of everything gold; but it might be more aptly defined as 'the pathological and almost hysterical fear of owning gold, as espoused by the mainstream media'.

[Jun 18, 2010] Legal Tender by "Merle Hazard"

Hat tip to Mish's Global Economic Trend Analysis :
“Legal Tender” is an original lyric by Merle Hazard and Tom Carroll, set to a classic public domain melody. The melody is from an 1861 song, “Aura Lee,” that was popular during the American Civil War. Elvis used the same melody in “Love Me Tender,” which was a hit in 1956.


[Jun 17, 2010] Gonzalo Lira What do BP and the Banks Have In Common The Era of Corporate Anarchy

naked capitalism

NOTaREALmerican

STOP thinking of America as a big version of Canada. It’s a small version of China. Americans believe in bigness: big government, big corporations, big cars, and (most of all) big dicks.

[Jun 16, 2010] Cramer Calls Market Stupid, Rapacious, Arbitrary, Capricious And Downright Ridiculous, Tells Viewers To Stay Out zero hedge

Does CNBC think EVERYONE is f@#$%ing stupid? Yes, they do. And, unfortunately, they have been largely right...

After catching a few soundbites of Cramer's spiel today, we were stunned: for once theStreeter did not lose his marbles over an engineered, 20 handle, 200DMA breakout rally. Quite the opposite. In what is likely a first, the Mad Money host actually told his viewers it is time to get out of the market: "I am calling this a bad rally. This market has now become more depressing than Ethan Frome. Even the good days are now bad days. It's almost as if the whole market is caught between 1st base and 2nd base. So we get an endless rotating short squeeze in oil, in the banks, in tech, in discretionary.... But once the shorts are done getting picked off, we've got no more reason to run. It is a rally that stops that a blast of future selling comes in. It is a rally that stops the moment the buyers just walk away. We used to have fundamentally based rallies - that's not how this market works." The 10 minute rant against the market by the legendary permabull is simply shocking: he actually describes all the different dimensions in which the stock market is completely busted and discredited in a way that makes us jealous: "This market is stupid. And it is hated for a very good reason. The market seems rapacious, arbitrary, capricious and downright ridiculous. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

[Jun 14, 2010] Small businesses "collapse" around the Gulf

"Futures are positive on the news. "

[Jun 13, 2010] Borrowers Who Are Bad at Math More Likely to Go Into Foreclosure

How those suckers managed to graduate from public schools? Were 16% of respondents suffering from Dawn syndrome or advanced dementia ? Dividing 300 by 2 is definitely not a test of mathematical skills. This is a test for advanced dementia. We’re talking about first or second grade arithmetic here. At the same time we should remember that 42 million American adults can't read at all; 50 million are unable to read at a higher level that is expected of a fourth or fifth grader.
The New York Times reports on an intriguing study:

Columbia University assistant business professor, Stephan Meier…. found that borrowers with poor math skills were three times more likely than others to go into foreclosure.

Mr. Meier conceded that the results were not shocking, but he said he had not expected the connection between math skills and mortgage default to be so pronounced.

About 340 borrowers in Connecticut, Massachusetts and Rhode Island who took out subprime loans in 2006 and 2007 were surveyed in 2008. None were in foreclosure.

The respondents were asked five questions, with the first requiring borrowers to divide 300 by 2, and the second to calculate 10 percent of 1,000. (Since the survey was conducted by telephone, the questioners did not know who was using a calculator.)

About 16 percent of the respondents answered at least one of the first two questions incorrectly. Mr. Meier said that the results were consistent among all levels of education and income.

Over all, 21 percent of the respondents whose math abilities placed them in the bottom quarter of the survey experienced foreclosure, versus 7 percent of those in the top quarter.

attempter:

Innumeracy in the borrower means having less market information than the lender? And the lender exploits that information imbalance?!

But…but…I thought both of those were impossible. Chicago ideology told me so. Everyone’s rational and fair and the “market” distributes all the information equally.

koshembos:

Well if the test of math knowledge is 300 divided by 2 then we can concluded with similarly significant result that presidents from Chicago must be bad, that Muslims are better at bomb making and that the sun and the moon have a gay relationship.

alex black:

It pains me to realize that 16% of my fellow citizens cannot divide 300 by 2 and calcutlate what 10% of 1000 is.

But it explains a lot….

craazyman:

When they asked 50 top Wall Street executives to subtract $1 trillion in losses from $50 billion in equity, they all came up with profits somehow. It must have been a lucky guess.

alex black:

They had “interesting” tutors.

[Jun 11, 2010] New York Times Runs Yet Another Banking Industry Propaganda Piece

naked capitalism

SidFinster:

...since The Gospel According to Ayn is a sociopath’s charter, randroids should not complain if commies grab all they can, however they can. Enlightened self-interest and all that.

Expat:

I don’t know about you, but I am selling everything I own and sending the proceeds and my life’s savings to Goldman Sachs now in order to avoid long lines later.

I also wrote to Monsanto, GM, and Exxon to ask them where I should send my small children to work as slave labor. If I ask nicely, maybe my kids will get outdoor work on a plantation or a nice factory instead of a skanky mine or a swamp.

Once that’s done I can sell my organs to some needy Citi execs (the proceeds go to Halliburton to compensate them for the drilling moratorium). My wife can probably get a job at the Senate brothel since she still looks pretty good; of course, she’s an adult woman, so she probably won’t get much traffic up on the Hill.

SidFinster:

You forgot BP. Their exec suite will be furious if they don’t get their (strictly metaphorical) pound of flesh.

Mannwich:

Stockholm Syndrome anyone?

[Jun 11, 2010] Nigerian spam email of the week

Bronte Capital

Dudley Caruthers Esq (Barrister at Law)

Subject: BP Related Agreement Entitlement

E-mail:

Dear Friend

I am the private solicitor for Mr Tony Hayward, the esteemed Chairman and Chief executive of British Petroleum. My client has various personal and family related holdings of BP stock and options. Due to his faithful long standing service to BP the total value of his holdings amounts to in excess of 100m pounds sterling. Mr Heywood is a British citizen but it has been my sorrowful duty to advise him that his personal and family wealth is at great risk of being wrongfully confiscated by US authorities acting extra-territorially under special powers authorised by the US government and with the secret consent of a supine UK political and legal establishment.

Mr Heywood is also at great risk of losing his personal liberty and becoming another victim of the long reach of the politicised USA legal system in the same way that was meted out to other British subjects including, most egregiously, the 3 bankers from Natwest (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NatWest_Three). Unfortunately I am not able to advise or assist him in this regard as my expertise lies in the structuring of executive compensation schemes and the management of private endowments; but I am horrified at the witch hunt being perpetrated on my client by the Obama administration and its agencies and I will do all that I can to safeguard my client's financial position.

I am reaching out to you as it has become clear that Mr Hayward's holdings must be liquidated and held in trust for the benefit of himself and his family beyond USA or UK legal jurisdiction. Exercise of his options and liquidation of his stock is now complete but it has proven necessary to assign title to the ensuing 100m pounds of cash to a person such as yourself who resides in a non recognised tax haven country and where there is a sound basis for UK and USA authorities to recognise the legal validity of local agreements. The taxation and legal recognition agreements between your jurisdiction of Australia and those of UK and USA present a unique opportunity to protect these assets whilst providing you with a benefit in accordance with your key role. I am a keen reader of your blog and greatly admire your economic and political acumen. I immediately recognised that, at this hour of great urgency and risk to my client, you are the man who is capable of securing protection of the Hayward estate.

[Jun 11, 2010] BP To Decide On Dividend Cut On Monday

zero hedge

Apart from Tony Haward pouring oil into a pelican's mouth, live on TV whilst singing the British national anthem, paying a dividend is about the most inflammatory thing BP can do at the moment.

[Jun 10, 2010] Q1 Flow of Funds- Household Net Worth off $11.4 Trillion from Peak

noob goldberg:

real estate check:

What's below subprime?

Parental loans to underachieving children.

[Jun 10, 2010] YET ANOTHER GS LOGO

The WilliamBanzai7 Blog

[Jun 10, 2010] Bad News for Banksters The Big Picture

[Jun 09, 2010] Fair Warning By Invictus

"Idiot Larry" as a contrarian indicator?
June 9, 2010

Larry Kudlow, December 7, 2007:

BUSH BOOM CONTINUES

There is no recession. Despite all the doom and gloom from the economic pessimistas, the resilient U.S economy continues moving ahead—quarter after quarter, year after year—defying dire forecasts and delivering positive growth. In fact, we are about to enter the seventh consecutive year of the Bush boom.

Larry Kudlow, June 8, 2010:

I don’t yet see a double-dip recession.

You have been warned.

Selected Comments

The Curmudgeon:

The Bush Boom? Really? Sounds strangely erotic. Well, Kudlow is something of a porn star of an analyst.

peter north:

I did hear that is kind of coming back – short Brazilian waxing stocks.

Short Kudlow too. Grotesquely stupid.

Robespierre:

Get over it. The country is a two party system: The Oligarchs (Dems and Repub. in power) and the rest. The rest are divided into: The ones who think the Dems are liberals, The ones who thing they are conservatives and the rest…

d4winds:

I have been long seeking the ultimate stock guru, the guy you can rely on to be wrong, ALWAYS. Neither Kudlow nor Cramer quite live up to this ideal but both try.

philipat:

As a non-Americna, perhaps someone can help me understand this.

So anyone who thinks that the moronic and consistently wrong Kudlow is a moron, becauspg.

fifth anniversary of then Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan's "Froth" speech

CalculatedRisk
Jon Lansner at the O.C. Register notes the fifth anniversary of then Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan's "Froth" speech: Greenspan’s froth not bubble, 5 years later
“Although a ‘bubble’ in home prices for the nation as a whole does not appear likely, there do appear to be, at a minimum, signs of froth in some local markets where home prices seem to have risen to unsustainable levels.” [said Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan, June 9, 2005 in testimony to Congress]
Perhaps to celebrate "Froth Day", Fed Chairman Bernanke made this statement:
[U]nderlying housing activity appears to have firmed only a little since mid-2009, with activity being weighed down, in part, by a large inventory of distressed or vacant existing houses and by the difficulties of many builders in obtaining credit.

Sippn:

A few more tattoo, thrift, check cashing stores and our recovery will really be rocking.

Lets open a Froth Shop

Juvenal Delinquent:

The business of selling people damn near anything in exchange for their food stamps must be good!

Nice bike, shill.

shill:

Besides that, its either wine or women, the rest is wasted.

No truer words spoken.

Anonymous Bosch:

Time wounds all heels.

Anonymous Bosch

Somebody should have given Greedspin a lower intestine full of froth a long time ago.

noob goldberg:

Who doesn't love froth week?

Vonbek777:

noob goldberg wrote:

Who doesn't love froth week?

I was trying to come up with a 99 bottles on the wall tribute...but have so far failed...can you bottle MBS and pass it around?

Sippn:

What....falling on swords?

Rob Dawg:

This is the froth I warned about. Prices both wishing and selling are going to be all over the place. The large and dynamic inventory will make for a cloudy market. The small number of sales will increasingly include exceptions rather than regular sales closings. The shift to buyers market will leave some sellers unable to cope and thus escrows will be messy. Buyers will increasingly dictate terms; fast close, slow close, etc. In math we call this sparse matrix analysis. I haven't done it but it looks like 5-6 dimensions about 5% populated. Don't sweat the math or try to visualize 5 dimensions. The point is that depending on how you look at it you can detect many patterns. Look at this picture for an example:

The analog of a cresting wave goes quite far. No more rising tide, the wave crests, froth. The biggest wave at the end of an unusually high tide leaves little fishies washed up on the beach and as the tide recedes we see who was swimming naked. It won't be a pretty sight but it won't be a tsunami either although I don't put it past our great leaders to possibly make things worse.

ResistanceIsFeudal:

noob goldberg wrote:

Who doesn't love froth week?

Towards the end of the Starbucks reign, froth was getting ridiculous, so much so that there was barely any coffee left in the cup. Worse yet people demanded their $5 cappucinos be delivered this way. We look back with laughter at our willingness to part with good money for what was actually excessive froth and very little coffee.

Juvenal Delinquent

One lie makes you larger
Another lie is good for us all
And the ones that Greenspan told us
Don’t do anything at all
Go ask Alan
When his tales grow tall

And if you go chasing answers
And you know it's going to fall
Tell them an obfuscating octogenarian has given you the call
Recall Alan?
When we were all enthralled

When the men on the Fed board
Get up and tell you where to go
And you just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow
Go ask Alan
I think he’ll know

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sleepy dead
And the white knight is talking backwardation
And the red ink symbolizes dread
Remember what the ex-director said

Heed the Fed
Heed the Fed

YouTube - White Rabbit

Doc Holiday:

In retrospect the froth theme should have been about scum:

See: A layer of impurities that accumulates at the surface of a financial crisis

Juvenal Delinquent :

Froth is a fancy way of describing packaged air, right?

[Jun 09, 2010] Gold Bulls Are In Their Cups and the Bull Market in Confidence Games and Voodoo Economics

"The US financial system is largely a confidence game, or more appropriately a racket dominated by rival white collar crime gangs" ;-)

Sometimes what you think you know prepares you for a world that no longer exists, because it was an illusion.

And that goes double for macroeconomics, which seems now more like marketing than mathematics, more astrology than physics. The US financial system is largely a confidence game, or more appropriately a racket dominated by rival white collar crime gangs.

Far too many economists tell people what they wish to hear, or what their masters are promoting, and attempt to give it the trappings of respectability with professional jargon, self-referential theories and elaborate faux proofs, with the trappings of equations based on falsified assumptions.

If you want to measure a contemporary economist, see what they are saying, if anything, about reforming and restructuring the financial system.

[Jun 08, 2010] How Cross Selling Of CDOs Between Banks Created A Big Ponzi Scheme

"the land of the thief and the home of the slave"
zero hedge#comments

by Dr. Richard Head
on Tue, 06/08/2010 - 12:43
#401934

Oh, say can you see Wall Street’s theft in plain sight
With the debt that we sow while cash register’s beeping
Whose broad lies and false flags thru the congressman’s lies,
O’er the market we watched was so rigged just for stealing
And the derivatives there, the bombs burst everywhere,
Gave proof through the night that our poverty is here.
Oh, say is the false left-right paradigm still there
O’er the land of the thief and the home of the slave

[Jun 07, 2010] French Connection The Eurozone Crisis Worsens Sharply « The Baseline Scenario

The irony of the “free market”:

Wall St is no longer a free market, but our Senators are for sale.

Clarke and Dawe ask the million dollar questions - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Video is more impressive then transcript ;-)

KERRY O'BRIEN, PRESENTER: Time for John Clarke and Bryan Dawe with a few reflections on Europe's financial woes.

BRYAN DAWE: Your name is Roger yes?

JOHN CLARKE: Roger.

BRYAN DAWE: Ah, that's your name?

JOHN CLARKE: Roger.

BRYAN DAWE: Good. And what do you do Roger?

JOHN CLARKE: I'm a financial consultant.

BRYAN DAWE: Ah, financial consultant, eh?

JOHN CLARKE: Roger, yes.

BRYAN DAWE: Terrific and Roger how is business at the moment?

JOHN CLARKE: Not bad thank you. Been a bit quiet lately.

BRYAN DAWE: How do you mean lately?

JOHN CLARKE: Since the war. Been a bit quiet.

BRYAN DAWE: Fair enough. Okay, Roger your special subject tonight is the economies of the European community. Your time starts now. Best of luck.

JOHN CLARKE: Thank you.

BRYAN DAWE: How much does Greece owe, Roger?

JOHN CLARKE: $367 billion.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. And who do they owe it to?

JOHN CLARKE: Mostly to the other European economies.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. How much does Ireland owe?

JOHN CLARKE: $865 billion.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. Who do they owe it to?

JOHN CLARKE: Other European economies mostly.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. How much does Spain and Italy owe?

JOHN CLARKE: $1 trillion each.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. Who to?

JOHN CLARKE: Mainly France, Britain and Germany.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. And how are Germany, France, Britain going Roger?

JOHN CLARKE: Well they're struggling a bit, aren't they?

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. Why?

JOHN CLARKE: Well ‘cause they've lent all the vast amounts of money to other European economies that can't possibly pay them back.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct so what are they go to go have to do?

JOHN CLARKE: They're going to have to bail them out.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. Where are they getting the money to do that Roger?

JOHN CLARKE: That is a good question. I don't know the answer to that one. (laughs)

BRYAN DAWE: How much does Portugal owe?

JOHN CLARKE: Hang on a minute, what was the answer to that earlier question?

BRYAN DAWE: Just keep answering the questions Roger.

Where is Portugal going to get the money it owes to Germany if Germany can't get back the money that it lent to Italy?

JOHN CLARKE: Just a minute. What was the answer to the previous que-

The question was: How can broke economies lend money to other broke economies who haven't got any money because they can't pay back the money the broke economy lent to the other broke economy and shouldn't have lent it to them in the first place because the broke economy can't pay back?

BRYAN DAWE: You are wasting valuable time Roger. How much money does Spain owe to Italy?

JOHN CLARKE: $41 billion. But where are they going to get it?

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. What does Italy owe to Spain?

JOHN CLARKE: $27 billion but they haven't got it - they're broke.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. How can they pay each other if neither of them has any money?

JOHN CLARKE: They're going to get a bailout, aren't they?

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. And where is the money coming from for the bailout?

JOHN CLARKE: That is what I'm asking you!

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. Why are people selling the European currency and buying the US dollar?

JOHN CLARKE: Because the US economy is so much stronger than the European economy.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct. Why is that Roger?

JOHN CLARKE: Because it's owned by China.

BRYAN DAWE: Correct and very well done! And after that round you've lost $1 million.

JOHN CLARKE: I've lost $1 million? I thought you said well done!

BRYAN DAWE: Yes well done - you've only lost $1 million. That's an extraordinary performance Roger.

JOHN CLARKE: I've only lost $1 million.

BRYAN DAWE: Very well done.

JOHN CLARKE: That's quite good is it?

BRYAN DAWE: Oh it's excellent.

JOHN CLARKE: Sell everything immediately. Quickly!

[Jun 06, 2010] 'Dizzying'

June 03, 2010 | Financial Armageddon

[Jun 06, 2010] Understanding the System of Corporatocracy in the USA Inc.

Post image for Understanding the System of Corporatocracy in the USA Inc.

by Hawaiian Libertarian on June 4, 2010

I pledge allegiance, to the Logo, of the United Corporate States, formerly known as America; and to the Corporations, for which it stands: one market, under law, divisible into niche segments, with rampant consumerism, debt slavery and serfdom for all.

[Jun 05, 2010] The US has a real problem with domestic criminal economic terrorist organization which are, by far, a much more significant threat than Bin Laden

The Baseline Scenario

Anonymous

Sandi Rubinspan wrote:

“The US has a real problem with domestic criminal economic terrorist organization which are, by far, a much more significant threat than Bin Laden.”

When you consider the amount widespread economic pain and suffering, it’s hard to disagree.

[Jun 05, 2010] The awards curse strikes at JP Morgan…

An award for most efficient way to create leverage?
FT Alphaville

Last Friday:

[The Banker Innovation in Banking Technology Awards 2010]

Chair’s Choice and Innovation in Custody and Securities Services

Winner: JPMorgan (Worldwide Securities Services)

Project: Rehypothecation Program

The process of rehypothecation allows institutions – in many cases hedge fund clients – to extract greater value from their collateral by reusing this collateral elsewhere in the market, increasing liquidity and reducing collateral costs. But the little-known practice gained a bad press in the aftermath of Lehman Brothers’ collapse, as many hedge funds discovered their assets to be legally trapped within the bank’s insolvent estate.

Against this backdrop, JPMorgan’s forward-thinking Rehypothecation Program stood out, directly addressing market misgivings regarding the practice while simultaneously allowing the practice to be safely extended to the benefit of clients. Winner of both this year’s Chair’s Choice and Innovation in Custody and Securities Services, JPMorgan Rehypothecation Program supports the multi-asset class, unlimited re-use of collateral.

This Friday:

The record £33.3m [FSA] fine imposed on JPMorgan for failing to keep billions of dollars of client money in separate accounts underscores an industry-wide problem that has embarrassed UK regulators and is likely to lead to several more enforcement cases.

The Financial Services Authority has required banks, brokers and insurance companies to segregate client assets since 2002, and it also requires auditors to certify that the assets are being handled properly.

But events of the past few years have proved those guarantees to be hollow. In 2008, the collapse of Lehman Brothers left clients in the lurch and unable to recover their money without a protracted court battle.

[Jun 05, 2010] Duration of Unemployment

urnside:

TagsExternalized Costs wrote:

BP staging clean up efforts along the Presidents motorcade route.

Potemkin cleanup.

[Jun 05, 2010] Biggest Equity Outflow In Recent History Leads To Fifth Consecutive Outflow From High Yield Funds

zero hedge

LoneStarHog:

I was channel surfing while eating supper last night. I just happen to get Cramer as he was telling everyone that his FAVORITE bank and FAVORITE bank executive is JPM and Jamie Dimon. He told them to buy, buy, buy.

This should be the Kiss of Death for that two-bit firm and so-called executive.

[Jun 04, 2010] Two thirds of the way…

…to a fresh bear market.

[Jun 04, 2010] Jon Stewart on the BP Oil Spill

How can Obama, a timid "outsider" who wants to be let inside to take on big oil or big finance ;-)
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Spilling Fields
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

[Jun 04, 2010] Now that rates are 2 sizes smaller, what's a Who to do

Dec 20, 2007 | USATODAY.com

Those nasty old Grinches cut rates in a wink,

They cut rates so low that CD yields stink.

When WhoBank's bankers pay interest, you see

The interest they pay wouldn't feed a Who-flea.

From How the Grinch Injected Liquidity Into the Monetary System

[Jun 03, 2010] BP Logo Redesign Contest By Barry Ritholtz

June 3, 2010

Brilliant idea from the folks at logomyway — hold a contest for the redesign of the BP Logo.

They want to communicate 3 things through the Logo design:

1. Oil spill disaster – Toxic
2. Death of wildlife
3. Incompetence

Many of these results are, not surprisingly, quite clever and witty. Here are a few of my favorites:

[Jun 01, 2010] Walk Aways, NYT Version

The Big Picture

By Matt Taibbi

“It’s early May in Washington, and something very weird is in the air. As Chris Dodd, Harry Reid and the rest of the compulsive dealmakers in the Senate barrel toward the finish line of the Restoring American Financial Stability Act – the massive, year-in-the-making effort to clean up the Wall Street crime swamp – word starts to spread on Capitol Hill that somebody forgot to kill the important reforms in the bill. As of the first week in May, the legislation still contains aggressive measures that could cost once-indomitable behemoths like Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan Chase tens of billions of dollars.

Somehow, the bill has escaped the usual Senate-whorehouse orgy of mutual back-scratching, fine-print compromises and freeway-wide loopholes that screw any chance of meaningful change.

The real shocker is a thing known among Senate insiders as “716.” This section of an amendment would force America’s banking giants to either forgo their access to the public teat they receive through the Federal Reserve’s discount window, or give up the insanely risky, casino-style bets they’ve been making on derivatives. That means no more pawning off predatory interest-rate swaps on suckers in Greece, no more gathering balls of subprime shit into incomprehensible debt deals, no more getting idiot bookies like AIG to wrap the crappy mortgages in phony insurance. In short, 716 would take a chain saw to one of Wall
Street’s most lucrative profit centers: Five of America’s biggest banks (Goldman, JP Morgan, Bank of America, Morgan Stanley and Citigroup) raked in some $30 billion in over-the-counter derivatives last year. By some estimates, more than half of JP Morgan’s trading revenue between 2006 and 2008 came from such derivatives. If 716 goes through, it would be a veritable Hiroshima to the era of greed….”

http://snardfarker.ning.com/forum/topics/wall-streets-war-by-matt?xg_source=msg_forum_disc

then again, maybe others have different motivations for their ‘actions’.

[Jun 1, 2010] Blast from the past: This passionate Wall Street stooge Cramer

Cramer:

This is about Bernanke...Bernanke needs to open the discount window - that's how bad things are out there...Alan Greenspan told everyone to take a teaser rate and then raised the rate 17 times! And Bernanke is being an academic. This is no time to be an academic! It is time to get on the Bear Stearns conference call...LISTEN...open the darn Fed window. He has NO IDEA HOW BAD IT IS OUT THERE. NO IDEA! HE HAS NO IDEA!

I have talked to the heads of almost every single one of these firms in the last 72 hours, and he has no idea what it's like out there. NONE! And Bill Poole has no idea what it's like out there. My people have been in this game for 25 years, and they are losing their jobs these firms are going to go out of business and he's nuts! They're NUTS! They know nothing! This is a different kind of market and the Fed is asleep!

Cramer is livid: This is about Bernanke - Bernanke is being an academic!

 

  • Continued...



    Etc

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