Softpanorama

May the source be with you, but remember the KISS principle ;-)
Contents Bulletin Scripting in shell and Perl Network troubleshooting History Humor

Business Communication

News Books Articles Recommended Links Business Communication Algorithms Rules of Business Communication  
Tactfull communication Negative Politeness Socratic Questions Diplomatic Communication  Five Points Verbal Response Test The Art of Positive Criticism  
Communication with Micromanagers How to disagree agreeably The Eleventh Commandment Six ways to say 'No' and mean it How to disagree agreeably Humor Etc

Years ago, the eminent psychologist Carl Rogers recommended three separate but related steps when one is involved in a negotiation of any kind.

This approach usually (not always) achieves, eventually, a mutually acceptable and (preferably) mutually beneficial agreement. Experts suggest that negotiation should not be viewed as a Zero Sum Game. If at all possible, the ultimate agreement should be a Win-Win for everyone involved.

Good books that corresponds to ebook is:

Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation Books

Tact is a careful consideration of the feelings and values of another so as to create harmonious relationships with a reduced potential for conflict or offense. Tact is considered to be a virtue.

An example of tact would be relating to someone a potentially embarrassing detail of their appearance or demeanor without causing them distress.

Tact is a form of interpersonal diplomacy. Tact is the ability to induce change or communicate hurtful information without offending through the use of consideration, compassion, kindness, and reason.

A tactful person can tell you something you don't want to hear and you will be thankful for the information when they are finished.

I believe diplomacy is one of the most important elements of office relations.  It is the skillful approach to conducting tactful negotiations, and the ability to speak or act without offending. This skill is necessary for attaining successful relations in such a diverse international community as the United States. The key idea of diplomacy is the idea of conflict prevention. The idea of conflict prevention recognizes that conflict takes many forms. There is some conflict that is destructive, some that is hopeless and can never be resolved (for all practical purposes). We also recognize that conflict can be a good thing, that good things can come out of addressing it, and sometimes, NOT addressing it is a bad idea. 

See also:

Nikolai Bezroukov

Bulletin

2004 2003 2002 2001 2000

Top Visited
Switchboard
Latest
Past week
Past month

NEWS CONTENTS

Old News ;-)

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Amazon.com

William P. Chilton

This book should probably be called "Emotional Intelligence For Chumps 2.0"

I would feel differently if the entire thing wasn't loaded references to how well the author's system works to increase your own Emotional Intelligence.

I think the reason the reviews for this book are so high, is because it (if you'll let it) makes you feel excited, and optimistic at your prospects for increasing your own emotional intelligence.

But the reality is that this book is not meant to provide a comprehensive overview of emotional intelligence. It's purpose is to toot the horn of the EQ test developed by the authors. This book serves to sell more EQ tests.

This book is not for the curious person interested in learning about how human beings work. It is meant for people in business who are looking for dumbed-down ways to improve interpersonal relationships in the workplace.

However, if you were looking for tips and secrets to boosting your own emotional intelligence (tips like "try counting to 10!" or "smile and laugh more!") then maybe this book is for you.

Kara (Kalamazoo, MI) - See all my reviews

Based on a terribly flawed EQ test, June 28, 2012

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (Hardcover)

According to this book, your EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) can be divided into four categories: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

I was hoping that this book would be a great EQ primer, and I decided to follow along with its instructions to get the full benefit of the book.

Step 1: Take an EQ test to see where you are
Step 2: Identify the area you need the most help with
Step 3: Pick three strategies to work on within that area
Step 4: Retake the EQ test to see how you've improved

I took the test in about two minutes. You rate yourself on a scale from never to always on how often you...
- Are confident in your abilities.
- Admit your shortcomings.
- Understand your emotions as they happen.
- Recognize the impact your behavior has upon others.
- Realize when others influence your emotional state.
- Play a part in creating the difficult circumstances you encounter.
- Can be counted on.
- Handle stress well.
- Embrace change early on.
- Tolerate frustration without getting upset.
- Consider many options before making a decision.
- Strive to make the most out of situations whether good or bad.
- Resist the desire to act or speak when it will not help the situation.
- Do things you regret when upset.
- Brush people off when something is bothering you.
- Are open to feedback.
- Recognize other people's feelings.
- Accurately pick up on the mood in the room.
- Hear what the other person is 'really' saying.
- Are withdrawn in social situations.
- Directly address people in difficult situations.
- Get along well with others.
- Communicate clearly and effectively.
- Show others you care what they are going through.
- Handle conflict effectively.
- Use sensitivity to another person's feelings to manage interactions effectively.
- Learn about others in order to get along better with them.
- Explain yourself to others.

The test then tells you the area you're weakest in, and the book provides you with strategies to work on this area. After you've worked on it, you're encouraged to retake the EQ test to see how your scores compare. I didn't do this last part because it didn't make any sense to me. I mean, I read Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts and Thinking, Fast and Slow. Because I invested time in this book, I'm going to want to believe it accomplished something, so I will rate myself better. All retaking the test will show is that I felt like I should have improved--not necessarily that I did.

There is one big, fatal flaw with this book. The test may be "the world's most popular emotional intelligence test," but I have serious doubts that it actually measures EQ. One of the important pieces of EQ is self-awareness. Would someone with low self-awareness know how to rate herself on this test? No. We don't have perfect pictures of ourselves, and we're usually not the best judges of how we rate in areas. Do I strive to make them most out of situations whether good or bad? I like to think so. But my boyfriend, who has often heard me gripe about how lousy my project team is and how I can't believe I'm stuck with them, may feel otherwise. And on something like EQ which is all about relationships between people, what OTHERS think your EQ level is is much more important than what you think it is.

The whole book is based on a faulty premise. It's trying to be a practical version of How To Win Friends and Influence People, but it's not. I can't give it more than two stars because it won't do what it says it will do.

All that said, I think it has another use. If you're a manager, I think this is a good book to use to work with your employees. They can do the self-assessment while you give them your own thoughts (or maybe tie it into a 360 feedback session). Then you can work together with them to pick skills to work on and strategies.

Amazon Listmania! - View List Must negotiation books

Amazon.com Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation Books

Good, but needs more on one important component..., December 23, 2005
Reviewer: Thomas Byron "Tom" (MN) - See all my reviews
This is a good book with solid writing and many of the groundwork ideas of negotiation (distributive and integrative, ZOPA - Zone of possible agreement, etc.). One problem is that the book doesn't focus much on perhaps the most important part of any negotiation -- dealing with people's emotions.

That's why I was excited to learn of the new book by Roger Fisher (lead author of the bestselling Getting to YES). His new book is "Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate," and its 5 big ideas (the core emotional concerns) make it a groundbreaking book important for improving anyone's negotiation...

An Essential and Invaluable Introduction, July 20, 2005

Reviewer: Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews
(TOP 50 REVIEWER) (REAL NAME)
This is one of the volumes in the new Harvard Business Essentials Series. Each offers authoritative answers to the most important questions concerning its specific subject. The material in this book is drawn from a variety of sources which include the Harvard Business School Press and the Harvard Business Review as well as Harvard ManageMentor®, an online service. I strongly recommend the official Harvard Business Essentials Web site (www.elearning.hbsp.org/businesstools) which offers free interactive versions of tools, checklists, and worksheets cited in this book and other books in the Essentials series. Each volume is indeed "a highly practical resource for readers with all levels of experience." And each is by intent and in execution solution-oriented. Although I think those who have only recently embarked on a business career will derive the greatest benefit, the material is well-worth a periodic review by senior-level executives.

Richard Luecke is the author of several other books in the Essentials series. Once again, credit him with pulling together a wealth of information and counsel from various sources. In this instance, he was assisted by a subject advisor, Michael Watkins, who is an associate professor at the Harvard Business School who does research on negotiation and leadership. Together, they have carefully organized the material as follows.

First, they examine various types of negotiation (e.g. distributive and integrative) and then introduce four key concepts: BATNA (i.e. best alternative to a negotiated agreement), reservation price, ZOPA (i.e. zone of possible agreement), and value creation through trades. Next, they shift their attention to nine steps of preparation to consummate a deal; "table tactics" when engaged in negotiation; FAQs about price, process, and "people problems; barriers to agreement (e.g. negotiating with "die-hard bargainers"); mental errors (e.g. irrational expectations); the importance of establishing and then cultivating various relationships; negotiating for others (i.e. the functions of independent and non-independent agents); and finally, negotiation skills which build organizational competence (e.g. continuous improvement and using negotiation as an organizational opportunity). I especially appreciate the fact that, at the end of each of the ten chapters, a "Summing Up" section is provided which focuses on key points and, later, facilitates a review of the book's narrative. I am also grateful for "Useful Implementation Tools" in the Appendix.

Years ago, the eminent psychologist Carl Rogers recommended three separate but related steps when one is involved in a negotiation of any kind. First, identify the issues on which both "sides" agree and set them aside. Next, agree to concessions, compromises, etc. on other issues and then set them aside. Finally, isolate the issues which remain and focus on them. This approach usually (not always) achieves, eventually, a mutually acceptable and (preferably) mutually beneficial agreement. Experts suggest that negotiation should not be viewed as a Zero Sum Game. If at all possible, the ultimate agreemen

Recommended Links

Softpanorama hot topic of the month

Softpanorama Recommended

Communication and Personal Relationships

Human interaction and communication at different stages of relationships. Syllabus, calendar, assignments, and links to related materials. By Mark L. Knapp.

Lying and Deception

Civil, strategic, and manipulative communication. Deceptive acts and their detection; e.g., self-deception, children, con artists, political campaigns, advertising, close relationships, and computer-generated realities. Syllabus. Calendar. Assignments. Links to related materials. By Mark L. Knapp.



Etc

FAIR USE NOTICE This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit exclusivly for research and educational purposes.   If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. 

ABUSE: IPs or network segments from which we detect a stream of probes might be blocked for no less then 90 days. Multiple types of probes increase this period.  

Society

Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers :   Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism  : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy

Quotes

War and Peace : Skeptical Finance : John Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand : Oscar Wilde : Otto Von Bismarck : Keynes : George Carlin : Skeptics : Propaganda  : SE quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes : Random IT-related quotesSomerset Maugham : Marcus Aurelius : Kurt Vonnegut : Eric Hoffer : Winston Churchill : Napoleon Bonaparte : Ambrose BierceBernard Shaw : Mark Twain Quotes

Bulletin:

Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 :  Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method  : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law

History:

Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds  : Larry Wall  : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOSProgramming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC developmentScripting Languages : Perl history   : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history

Classic books:

The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-MonthHow to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Hater’s Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite

Most popular humor pages:

Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor

The Last but not Least


Copyright © 1996-2016 by Dr. Nikolai Bezroukov. www.softpanorama.org was created as a service to the UN Sustainable Development Networking Programme (SDNP) in the author free time. This document is an industrial compilation designed and created exclusively for educational use and is distributed under the Softpanorama Content License.

The site uses AdSense so you need to be aware of Google privacy policy. You you do not want to be tracked by Google please disable Javascript for this site. This site is perfectly usable without Javascript.

Original materials copyright belong to respective owners. Quotes are made for educational purposes only in compliance with the fair use doctrine.

FAIR USE NOTICE This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to advance understanding of computer science, IT technology, economic, scientific, and social issues. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided by section 107 of the US Copyright Law according to which such material can be distributed without profit exclusively for research and educational purposes.

This is a Spartan WHYFF (We Help You For Free) site written by people for whom English is not a native language. Grammar and spelling errors should be expected. The site contain some broken links as it develops like a living tree...

You can use PayPal to make a contribution, supporting development of this site and speed up access. In case softpanorama.org is down you can use the at softpanorama.info

Disclaimer:

The statements, views and opinions presented on this web page are those of the author (or referenced source) and are not endorsed by, nor do they necessarily reflect, the opinions of the author present and former employers, SDNP or any other organization the author may be associated with. We do not warrant the correctness of the information provided or its fitness for any purpose.

Last modified: October, 11, 2015