It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during discussions of working matters with their coworkers. Due to complaints received, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, a list of preferred new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending more sensitive employees.
PREFERRED: Yes, we really should discuss it...
OLD: Oh, no. Another fucking meeting!
PREFERRED: It would be difficult for me to work late today...
OLD: When the fuck do you expect this?
PREFERRED: I'm certain that it's not feasible...
OLD: No fucking way.
PREFERRED: I wasn't involved...
OLD: Its not my fucking problem.
PREFERRED: That's interesting change...
OLD: Who, fuck, changed this setting?!?!
PREFERRED: I'm not sure that we can implement this.
OLD: Go to hell, it won't work.
PREFERRED: It would be difficult to accomodate my schedule.
OLD: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
PREFERRED: Are you sure that this is a problem?
OLD: Who the hell cares?
PREFERRED: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
OLD: Hell, I'm on salary.
PREFERRED: I love a challenge.
OLD: It sucks.
PREFERRED: You want me to take care of that?
OLD: Who the hell made you boss?
PREFERRED: I don't think this matter much.
OLD: I really don't give a shit.
PREFERRED: He's somewhat insensitive to customer needs
OLD: He's a fucking prick.
PREFERRED: She's an aggressive go getter.
OLD: She's a bitch.
PREFERRED: I think you could benefit from some training.
OLD: You seems don't know what the fuck you're doing.